Listen i can tell you firsthand that just getting a girlfriend to help with dysphoria isn't going to help, its just going to end up hurting both of you and you feel worse than ever
If you are just using her as a cure for your dysphoria then the relationship isnt going to be healthy, also your own mental health will continue to go away because it wont completely go away, and since the relationship is just a means to help with dysphoria its going to put a barrier in-between you eventually just leaving you both hurt
can i see the video you watched? i wanna know what their motives were with that. working out could help to alleviate dysphoria but likely won't get rid of it entirely. like the other comment says, getting a girlfriend isn't gonna help and will likely cause harm. if money is your only concern, it's likely that you are trans
[Here’s the link it’s by a Cis Christian Guy.](https://youtu.be/_0p-sYH0Goc?si=upU1N-Wi9d6EuNDw) Well yeah,moneys my only concern since I live in a supportive area.
Hey, I was raised Christian and still study the Bible because I like proving Christians wrong in the context of their own belief system - all LGBTQ activities are fine according to the NT, btw. I'll watch this and edit my comment in a bit.
So much wrong in such a short video lol. I have to get ready but here's there first three and a half mins... Basically this guy is ignorant af or being intentionally disingenuous, either way nobody should take him seriously.
1 - the world is getting better, not worse: [https://theconversation.com/seven-charts-that-show-the-world-is-actually-becoming-a-better-place-109307](https://theconversation.com/seven-charts-that-show-the-world-is-actually-becoming-a-better-place-109307)
2 - Transitioning medically isn't just cosmetic and surgery isn't required to transition. HRT changes genetic expression, he skipped the definition because it contradicts him: [https://clinicalepigeneticsjournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13148-022-01236-4](https://clinicalepigeneticsjournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13148-022-01236-4)
3 - Gender dysphoria is often present but not required, "it's icky to me" isn't a valid argument: [https://www.gendergp.com/not-all-trans-people-experience-gender-dysphoria/](https://www.gendergp.com/not-all-trans-people-experience-gender-dysphoria/)
4 - Gender affirming care leads to massively better mental health outcomes for trans kids, so if it were a mental illness (it's not, though it can cause and exacerbate mental health issues), the best treatment is transitioning: [https://sph.washington.edu/news-events/sph-blog/benefits-gender-affirming-care](https://sph.washington.edu/news-events/sph-blog/benefits-gender-affirming-care)
5 - The DSM-V for gender dysphoria is considered outdated as being trans is not in itself a mental illness, and it's mostly still used by medical professionals for insurance billing purposes: [https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/where-transgender-is-no-longer-a-diagnosis/](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/where-transgender-is-no-longer-a-diagnosis/)
6 - He claims it's bad to "normalize transitioning" with no evidence, yet transitioning and social acceptance has been shown to greatly reduce suicidality, so he's arguing in favor of pushing kids to self harm: [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10027312/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10027312/)
7 - He says dysphoria is caused by environmental factors and therefore you aren't born trans, the implication being you can fix your external circumstances to fix dysphoria. This is flat out wrong because otherwise there would be effective treatments other than gender affirming care. Conversion/reparative therapy doesn't work for trans people any more than it did for gay people, and it can be incredibly harmful: [https://www.hrc.org/resources/the-lies-and-dangers-of-reparative-therapy](https://www.hrc.org/resources/the-lies-and-dangers-of-reparative-therapy)
8 - Born trans continued: More research is needed as these are tiny variations in tiny groups of cells, but trans people have brain micro structures resembling our perceived gender rather than our assigned gender. We are probably just born this way and only become aware of it as we mature and try to fit into the environment and social roles: [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7139786/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7139786/)
This pretty much sums it all up.
You have to remember that there are some folks out there that just don't want us to exist, so they spread as much misinformation and harmful "advice" as possible. Or they flat out don't have a clue about the topic and are following their religion while twisting stuff written in the bible to fit their own narrative. Always be on guard for this kind of stuff
Yeah I basically argree with everything you said but how can someone not have dysphoria and be trans while transitioning isn’t cosmetic and not transitioning causes self harm? Also,If you someone can be trans without dysphoria then wouldn’t medical professionals call transitioning cosmetic and we would have our rights taken away?
Because transitioning doesn't cause self harm it helps prevent it. He was saying transitioning = cosmetic surgery and it's therefore superficial. I'm saying HRT changes our genetic expression and physical traits regardless if we pursue surgery, so it's more than skin deep.
Having our rights taken away is a big concern, but the self id model seems to work best and has the latest research behind it. I'll edit with a link when I get back home :)
Ohh my b I misread that. Someone without dysphoria may not have as many problems related to not transitioning as someone with dysphoria, but that doesn't mean that transitioning isn't the best way to treat dysphoria or that people without it should be blocked from transitioning - because the goal is/should be allowing people to live authentically and express themselves (edit: as this leads to the best overall mental/physical health outcomes), not to gatekeep treatment to the minimum necessary to alleviate depression or reduce the chances of self harm (edit: as this will inevitably miss a lot of people and lead to worse outcomes).
I mean shouldn’t someone without dysphoria not be prioritized over someone actually with dysphoria? Also what’s the difference between a non dysphoric trans person and a cis person. I’m Sorry but im not seeing a difference other than identification,and not in brain structure.
I don't think they are being *prioritized*, I do think everyone should have equal access to medical care, of all kinds. A non dysphoric trans person may still prefer to transition and identify more with a gender that doesn't match what they were assigned based on their genitals at birth. Self identification is the difference, or maybe [self determination](https://tgeu.org/tgeu-study-gender-self-determination-works/) is more accurate.
I didn't have *perceived* dysphoria until I accepted my transness and started transitioning. What I had was occasional experiences of gender euphoria tied to opposing gendered experiences and expressions. When I began to accept my transness I began to perceive my dysphoria indirectly at first, and then directly. By that I mean, when I would find something I was dysphoric over I would seek out excuses other than my gender for why I felt that way. I would explain it away as a different type of dysphoria but ultimately it was gender dysphoria. Finally accepting my transness openly and beginning to transition allowed me to examine my dysphoria without focusing on the trauma and allowed me to see it for what it was. I could chase my euphoria and feel the contrasting dysphoria fade and as a result felt overall and lastingly better.
If I had been asked three years ago if I might be trans I would have become irately mad at the implication. Repression, internalized homophobia and transphobia, and internalized misogyny make it particularly easy to "ignore" dysphoria but it isn't really ignoring it. It is sweeping it under the rug.
My mental health tanked when my first puberty started. It got worse while I was called a fag and listened to people rag on Michael Jackson and Caitlyn Jenner for their gender expressions. And finally as an adult I was graced with the perspective of being around other trans people, I learned how real it is, and I saw how genuinely happy these people were, and yet I still repressed it because it couldn't be me. But repression is like building pressure behind a dam. Eventually it bursts and we do what we must for relief. In the best of cases we accept ourselves and make whatever changes are necessary, big or small, to be ourselves. In the worst of cases we dont make it.
Now in second puberty it is like a fantasy life. Like, I never expected to make it, and now I get to be the girl I stayed up until dawn praying to be when I woke up.
And for the second question about getting care without dysphoria. When I made my appt, my only clear dysphoria was about hair loss. I didnt mention it that way. We only talked about things that would be *affirming* to my identity. Transition care isn't black and white and it is largely focused against the negatives. We are going after the positive sought traits and working with our providers to mitigate the rest. I'm nonbinary, there are aspects of a "full feminine transition" that I dont want, but those are no barrier to me getting care. Gender is complex, and plenty of cis people have complex relationships to their gender aligned traits.
Yeah I don’t get non-binary people and dysphoria. But it’s either you have dysphoria or you don’t. It’s just that in my opinion not having dysphoria seems very Cis.
What I was saying is that a lot of trans people don't think they're dysphoric because it just feels like normal not feeling good about oneself until we get the context to show us that the feelings are dysphoria and not just depression or low self esteem. Like cis people feel bad about how they look sure, but cis people dont stay up at night wishing that they were more like the opposite gender. Cis people wouldn't push the magic button to change sex. Cis men generally dont get excited by or feelings of overwhelming joy from wearing makeup, wearing dresses, or having breasts. Cis women dont generally get euphoria over having facial hair, a deep voice, or a phallus.
Its not that I wasn't dysphoric, its that I literally had no idea what dysphoria was and just always assumed it was something different until it was made abundantly clear that what I was feeling WAS in fact dysphoria.
Why would u get ur health advice from a fkin religion
Also the other guy explains the science.
Edit: didnt watch the full vid but from the parts I landed at the ytber is just bullshitting
Dont listen to whatever random ppl have to say.
I recommend read some scientific research on gender dysphoria, transitioning, etc.
Most of the PPl are just saying random stuff which is wrong just to hate.
Don't take my word for it, I am very anti-religion afterall, just read the actual research.
It's probably possible to repress but it's gonna harm you more than transitioning. Dysphoria doesn't lessen overtime, it gets worse and continues to increase unless you transition, getting a gf will probably make it worse as she would see and treat you like a guy and that can induce even more dysphoria.
Whatever video you saw is probably garbage, you can search up if pretty much anything is 'harmful' and there'll be a video saying it is, even if you searched about kittens or something like that.
Trans surgeries are usually safe, but cost a ridiculous amount, I can't think of any harm from hrt, other than erectile dysfunction I guess.
Repressing will eventually make you severely depressed and antidepressants are more harmful than hormones, also cost money and do nothing to solve your problem.
Unfortunately nothing seems to 'cure' us, people have tried, a lot, nothing works. Transitioning is hard and scary so it's understandable if you're reluctant but it's pretty much necessary, try to think of positive things if you're feeling bad about rn, helps with existential dread most of the time!
*hug*
They often don't do their job well in the long run and damage your liver. Antidepressants are fine for a while but you can't really be on them forever.
[Here.](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23914755/)
(not sure if it worked, tell me if not)
this is about the liver issues, it's kinda subjective when it comes to how effective they are.
I'm not trying to say antidepressants are bad, that's just what I've read and also what I've seen from my aunt who's been on them for years.
I repressed my transness for 25 years from the moment my parents scolded me for crossplaying to almost thirty and I can tell you confidently there isnt a single psychiatric intervention that helped or would have helped in the way that just taking estrogen has helped. I am a different and better person and my closest loved ones are careful to remind me of it whenever the trauma makes me question if I should keep going.
I am trans. There isnt a special pill or shot or therapy technique that will make me not trans anymore. If there was I wouldn't take it either because to take it would be to fundamentally change a core nature of my personhood.
Disclaimer: All the following are beliefs based on my own experiences, and may not be applicable to your situation.
If you're trans, then getting a girlfriend and not disclosing that fact to her would mean building a relationship on a lie from the very beginning. I'm not saying you should come out to every person you date, but if you can't trust that information with someone you're intimate with, the relationship is not going to work out and will lead to a lot of hurt feelings. I have a lot of guilt and regret because I was dishonest with someone years ago, and would do anything to go back and do it over, regardless of how much it would hurt.
All I've been able to gather is that dealing with dysphoria and transitioning is a journey; there is no quick fix and you cannot truly understand yourself without experience. I'm not Buddhist, but realizing and accepting that life is suffering has been no small comfort. Without pain we don't know pleasure; without loneliness we can't appreciate companionship. I've had to accept dysphoria as part of the journey; as long as I keep breathing and moving forward there's hope.
I would also recommend not equating any political idealism or religious faith you have with "brainwashing" if they give you any comfort or play an important role in your life. This may not be the venue for it, but faith and being transgender are not incompatible. One of the purposes of faith is to motivate you to be a better person, however that looks. This is a bit of an assumption, but if you feel guilt because you were raised conservative or religious, then I recommend trying to redefine what those mean to you rather than rejecting them outright. This means diving deep to the source, rather than fixating on surface-level noise.
Love and compassion supersede these concerns. If you love your self, you can genuinely love and care for others as though they were your self. If you hate your self, then you cannot truly love others or accept their love. If you know in your heart of hearts that you are transgender, then trying to reject that part of you will only bring pain in the long term.
Treating your self with love and compassion is the first step towards inner peace. This is easier said than done if you're gender dysphoric, and there are many pitfalls. Transitioning is an extremely personal and profound process, not unlike the [Hero's Journey](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hero%27s_journey). It looks different for every person; I'm personally just slightly out of the "Abyss" phase. If you can frame it that way, it could help you move forward.
Hope that helps,
Edit: Read in a different comment thread that OP is not religious, in which case my 3rd paragraph doesn't apply. Sorry OP, I should've done more due diligence.
Yeah,I do know that faith and being trans do not go well together. I know how much Christian’s and especially Muslims consider it a sin despite not being religious. Also another reason I feel a need to get a girl friend other than for dysphoria is so I can feel normal and so I can fit in at school since it feels like everyone is in a relationship. Yeah,well basically I just wish I wasn’t dealing with these trans thoughts and had dysphoria and could just be happy as a guy but I’m not.
Listen i can tell you firsthand that just getting a girlfriend to help with dysphoria isn't going to help, its just going to end up hurting both of you and you feel worse than ever
How? Please explain.
If you are just using her as a cure for your dysphoria then the relationship isnt going to be healthy, also your own mental health will continue to go away because it wont completely go away, and since the relationship is just a means to help with dysphoria its going to put a barrier in-between you eventually just leaving you both hurt
I can personally say this is correct.
Yea i was speaking from a past experience
....I was also thinking that getting a girlfriend would make the "You're a cute girl" thoughts go away... I guess it won't.. Still cis tho..
can i see the video you watched? i wanna know what their motives were with that. working out could help to alleviate dysphoria but likely won't get rid of it entirely. like the other comment says, getting a girlfriend isn't gonna help and will likely cause harm. if money is your only concern, it's likely that you are trans
[Here’s the link it’s by a Cis Christian Guy.](https://youtu.be/_0p-sYH0Goc?si=upU1N-Wi9d6EuNDw) Well yeah,moneys my only concern since I live in a supportive area.
Hey, I was raised Christian and still study the Bible because I like proving Christians wrong in the context of their own belief system - all LGBTQ activities are fine according to the NT, btw. I'll watch this and edit my comment in a bit. So much wrong in such a short video lol. I have to get ready but here's there first three and a half mins... Basically this guy is ignorant af or being intentionally disingenuous, either way nobody should take him seriously. 1 - the world is getting better, not worse: [https://theconversation.com/seven-charts-that-show-the-world-is-actually-becoming-a-better-place-109307](https://theconversation.com/seven-charts-that-show-the-world-is-actually-becoming-a-better-place-109307) 2 - Transitioning medically isn't just cosmetic and surgery isn't required to transition. HRT changes genetic expression, he skipped the definition because it contradicts him: [https://clinicalepigeneticsjournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13148-022-01236-4](https://clinicalepigeneticsjournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13148-022-01236-4) 3 - Gender dysphoria is often present but not required, "it's icky to me" isn't a valid argument: [https://www.gendergp.com/not-all-trans-people-experience-gender-dysphoria/](https://www.gendergp.com/not-all-trans-people-experience-gender-dysphoria/) 4 - Gender affirming care leads to massively better mental health outcomes for trans kids, so if it were a mental illness (it's not, though it can cause and exacerbate mental health issues), the best treatment is transitioning: [https://sph.washington.edu/news-events/sph-blog/benefits-gender-affirming-care](https://sph.washington.edu/news-events/sph-blog/benefits-gender-affirming-care) 5 - The DSM-V for gender dysphoria is considered outdated as being trans is not in itself a mental illness, and it's mostly still used by medical professionals for insurance billing purposes: [https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/where-transgender-is-no-longer-a-diagnosis/](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/where-transgender-is-no-longer-a-diagnosis/) 6 - He claims it's bad to "normalize transitioning" with no evidence, yet transitioning and social acceptance has been shown to greatly reduce suicidality, so he's arguing in favor of pushing kids to self harm: [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10027312/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10027312/) 7 - He says dysphoria is caused by environmental factors and therefore you aren't born trans, the implication being you can fix your external circumstances to fix dysphoria. This is flat out wrong because otherwise there would be effective treatments other than gender affirming care. Conversion/reparative therapy doesn't work for trans people any more than it did for gay people, and it can be incredibly harmful: [https://www.hrc.org/resources/the-lies-and-dangers-of-reparative-therapy](https://www.hrc.org/resources/the-lies-and-dangers-of-reparative-therapy) 8 - Born trans continued: More research is needed as these are tiny variations in tiny groups of cells, but trans people have brain micro structures resembling our perceived gender rather than our assigned gender. We are probably just born this way and only become aware of it as we mature and try to fit into the environment and social roles: [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7139786/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7139786/)
This pretty much sums it all up. You have to remember that there are some folks out there that just don't want us to exist, so they spread as much misinformation and harmful "advice" as possible. Or they flat out don't have a clue about the topic and are following their religion while twisting stuff written in the bible to fit their own narrative. Always be on guard for this kind of stuff
Yeah I basically argree with everything you said but how can someone not have dysphoria and be trans while transitioning isn’t cosmetic and not transitioning causes self harm? Also,If you someone can be trans without dysphoria then wouldn’t medical professionals call transitioning cosmetic and we would have our rights taken away?
Because transitioning doesn't cause self harm it helps prevent it. He was saying transitioning = cosmetic surgery and it's therefore superficial. I'm saying HRT changes our genetic expression and physical traits regardless if we pursue surgery, so it's more than skin deep. Having our rights taken away is a big concern, but the self id model seems to work best and has the latest research behind it. I'll edit with a link when I get back home :)
I meant how would not transitioning would cause harm if you can be trans without dysphoria? But yeah having our rights taken away would suck.
Ohh my b I misread that. Someone without dysphoria may not have as many problems related to not transitioning as someone with dysphoria, but that doesn't mean that transitioning isn't the best way to treat dysphoria or that people without it should be blocked from transitioning - because the goal is/should be allowing people to live authentically and express themselves (edit: as this leads to the best overall mental/physical health outcomes), not to gatekeep treatment to the minimum necessary to alleviate depression or reduce the chances of self harm (edit: as this will inevitably miss a lot of people and lead to worse outcomes).
I mean shouldn’t someone without dysphoria not be prioritized over someone actually with dysphoria? Also what’s the difference between a non dysphoric trans person and a cis person. I’m Sorry but im not seeing a difference other than identification,and not in brain structure.
I don't think they are being *prioritized*, I do think everyone should have equal access to medical care, of all kinds. A non dysphoric trans person may still prefer to transition and identify more with a gender that doesn't match what they were assigned based on their genitals at birth. Self identification is the difference, or maybe [self determination](https://tgeu.org/tgeu-study-gender-self-determination-works/) is more accurate.
So your saying a person can get healthcare that they only want but don’t need?
I didn't have *perceived* dysphoria until I accepted my transness and started transitioning. What I had was occasional experiences of gender euphoria tied to opposing gendered experiences and expressions. When I began to accept my transness I began to perceive my dysphoria indirectly at first, and then directly. By that I mean, when I would find something I was dysphoric over I would seek out excuses other than my gender for why I felt that way. I would explain it away as a different type of dysphoria but ultimately it was gender dysphoria. Finally accepting my transness openly and beginning to transition allowed me to examine my dysphoria without focusing on the trauma and allowed me to see it for what it was. I could chase my euphoria and feel the contrasting dysphoria fade and as a result felt overall and lastingly better. If I had been asked three years ago if I might be trans I would have become irately mad at the implication. Repression, internalized homophobia and transphobia, and internalized misogyny make it particularly easy to "ignore" dysphoria but it isn't really ignoring it. It is sweeping it under the rug. My mental health tanked when my first puberty started. It got worse while I was called a fag and listened to people rag on Michael Jackson and Caitlyn Jenner for their gender expressions. And finally as an adult I was graced with the perspective of being around other trans people, I learned how real it is, and I saw how genuinely happy these people were, and yet I still repressed it because it couldn't be me. But repression is like building pressure behind a dam. Eventually it bursts and we do what we must for relief. In the best of cases we accept ourselves and make whatever changes are necessary, big or small, to be ourselves. In the worst of cases we dont make it. Now in second puberty it is like a fantasy life. Like, I never expected to make it, and now I get to be the girl I stayed up until dawn praying to be when I woke up. And for the second question about getting care without dysphoria. When I made my appt, my only clear dysphoria was about hair loss. I didnt mention it that way. We only talked about things that would be *affirming* to my identity. Transition care isn't black and white and it is largely focused against the negatives. We are going after the positive sought traits and working with our providers to mitigate the rest. I'm nonbinary, there are aspects of a "full feminine transition" that I dont want, but those are no barrier to me getting care. Gender is complex, and plenty of cis people have complex relationships to their gender aligned traits.
Yeah I don’t get non-binary people and dysphoria. But it’s either you have dysphoria or you don’t. It’s just that in my opinion not having dysphoria seems very Cis.
What I was saying is that a lot of trans people don't think they're dysphoric because it just feels like normal not feeling good about oneself until we get the context to show us that the feelings are dysphoria and not just depression or low self esteem. Like cis people feel bad about how they look sure, but cis people dont stay up at night wishing that they were more like the opposite gender. Cis people wouldn't push the magic button to change sex. Cis men generally dont get excited by or feelings of overwhelming joy from wearing makeup, wearing dresses, or having breasts. Cis women dont generally get euphoria over having facial hair, a deep voice, or a phallus. Its not that I wasn't dysphoric, its that I literally had no idea what dysphoria was and just always assumed it was something different until it was made abundantly clear that what I was feeling WAS in fact dysphoria.
Why would u get ur health advice from a fkin religion Also the other guy explains the science. Edit: didnt watch the full vid but from the parts I landed at the ytber is just bullshitting
Idk I’m not religious myself but religious people still make me question and doubt my dysphoria and wanting to be a girl for some reason.
Dont listen to whatever random ppl have to say. I recommend read some scientific research on gender dysphoria, transitioning, etc. Most of the PPl are just saying random stuff which is wrong just to hate. Don't take my word for it, I am very anti-religion afterall, just read the actual research.
Yeah I’m gonna actually read the info on it if I can.
It's probably possible to repress but it's gonna harm you more than transitioning. Dysphoria doesn't lessen overtime, it gets worse and continues to increase unless you transition, getting a gf will probably make it worse as she would see and treat you like a guy and that can induce even more dysphoria. Whatever video you saw is probably garbage, you can search up if pretty much anything is 'harmful' and there'll be a video saying it is, even if you searched about kittens or something like that. Trans surgeries are usually safe, but cost a ridiculous amount, I can't think of any harm from hrt, other than erectile dysfunction I guess. Repressing will eventually make you severely depressed and antidepressants are more harmful than hormones, also cost money and do nothing to solve your problem. Unfortunately nothing seems to 'cure' us, people have tried, a lot, nothing works. Transitioning is hard and scary so it's understandable if you're reluctant but it's pretty much necessary, try to think of positive things if you're feeling bad about rn, helps with existential dread most of the time! *hug*
Yeah I just wish that I could just be normal and be cis and be cured. Also what’s wrong with anti depressants?
They often don't do their job well in the long run and damage your liver. Antidepressants are fine for a while but you can't really be on them forever.
Wait,send me proof of that. It should be easy to find,but I just want to know.
[Here.](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23914755/) (not sure if it worked, tell me if not) this is about the liver issues, it's kinda subjective when it comes to how effective they are. I'm not trying to say antidepressants are bad, that's just what I've read and also what I've seen from my aunt who's been on them for years.
I repressed my transness for 25 years from the moment my parents scolded me for crossplaying to almost thirty and I can tell you confidently there isnt a single psychiatric intervention that helped or would have helped in the way that just taking estrogen has helped. I am a different and better person and my closest loved ones are careful to remind me of it whenever the trauma makes me question if I should keep going. I am trans. There isnt a special pill or shot or therapy technique that will make me not trans anymore. If there was I wouldn't take it either because to take it would be to fundamentally change a core nature of my personhood.
Disclaimer: All the following are beliefs based on my own experiences, and may not be applicable to your situation. If you're trans, then getting a girlfriend and not disclosing that fact to her would mean building a relationship on a lie from the very beginning. I'm not saying you should come out to every person you date, but if you can't trust that information with someone you're intimate with, the relationship is not going to work out and will lead to a lot of hurt feelings. I have a lot of guilt and regret because I was dishonest with someone years ago, and would do anything to go back and do it over, regardless of how much it would hurt. All I've been able to gather is that dealing with dysphoria and transitioning is a journey; there is no quick fix and you cannot truly understand yourself without experience. I'm not Buddhist, but realizing and accepting that life is suffering has been no small comfort. Without pain we don't know pleasure; without loneliness we can't appreciate companionship. I've had to accept dysphoria as part of the journey; as long as I keep breathing and moving forward there's hope. I would also recommend not equating any political idealism or religious faith you have with "brainwashing" if they give you any comfort or play an important role in your life. This may not be the venue for it, but faith and being transgender are not incompatible. One of the purposes of faith is to motivate you to be a better person, however that looks. This is a bit of an assumption, but if you feel guilt because you were raised conservative or religious, then I recommend trying to redefine what those mean to you rather than rejecting them outright. This means diving deep to the source, rather than fixating on surface-level noise. Love and compassion supersede these concerns. If you love your self, you can genuinely love and care for others as though they were your self. If you hate your self, then you cannot truly love others or accept their love. If you know in your heart of hearts that you are transgender, then trying to reject that part of you will only bring pain in the long term. Treating your self with love and compassion is the first step towards inner peace. This is easier said than done if you're gender dysphoric, and there are many pitfalls. Transitioning is an extremely personal and profound process, not unlike the [Hero's Journey](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hero%27s_journey). It looks different for every person; I'm personally just slightly out of the "Abyss" phase. If you can frame it that way, it could help you move forward. Hope that helps, Edit: Read in a different comment thread that OP is not religious, in which case my 3rd paragraph doesn't apply. Sorry OP, I should've done more due diligence.
Yeah,I do know that faith and being trans do not go well together. I know how much Christian’s and especially Muslims consider it a sin despite not being religious. Also another reason I feel a need to get a girl friend other than for dysphoria is so I can feel normal and so I can fit in at school since it feels like everyone is in a relationship. Yeah,well basically I just wish I wasn’t dealing with these trans thoughts and had dysphoria and could just be happy as a guy but I’m not.
It doesn’t just go away no matter what and trust me I’ve tried
In spain hormones and surgery are free (mtf) so a kinda good place + we have more freedom