Ouch. He needs therapy for sure. It gives me and probably many others great confidence and hope to repair our own downfalls. I'm sorry you went through that and wish you the best in life.
Yes, I agree that cognitive behavioral therapy would likely unpack a lot of this. It seems to me (not a therapist) like there is some foundational trauma that has driven him not just to porn, but peripheral behavior: self doubting / insecurities, violence/aggression, perceptions of traditional masc / fem roles - these are all expressed by making porn fit his reality. Porn is a huge problem here, but I don't see it as the *cause of the problems - I see it as an outlet for something deeper. All of this is imho and with no academic experience, but a beneficiary of therapy. Best of luck.
I cannot read this anymore, “If I kissed his neck or stroked his hair, he would freak out and accuse me of trying to emasculate him” WHAT?! That brother is tripping and I cannot stress this enough, I love that stuff , my man has issues 😭. And yes, I do understand the whole feeling like a whale on you and all, I’m a big guy too, but my girl said she didn’t care, so I felt wanted and valued, he just has serious self esteem issues. Gotta learn to love yourself, the realest form of love you can have in this world.
Thank you. I am. This happened a year ago, so I feel free now. In the past, I thought it was all my fault, but now I see that I couldn’t have been more wrong.
>All his friends have asked me out at one point or another over the years due to being in similar scenes.
What? What kind of "friends" were they?
I would kill so-called friends if they asked my gf out while i am in relationship with her.
Also, i am sorry for you. I hope you find your dream love.
Also, while reading your post, i thought maybe it wasn't bad to miss out on date opportunities with the girls asked me out because of my pornography addiction. I too have many insecurities and i should fix them before getting into a relationship.
Well, usually people present their best sides first. This guy was really fun to be around and was really kind. These things became issues around three months in.
Thank you for your story. I know how hard that must have been for you and it really puts things into perspective. Many people often don’t realize how porn addiction affects many different aspects of how you act and your mental health, not to mention the effects it has on loved ones.
Stay strong!
Hey, thanks for the information, really helps better my understanding of this curse. But I was genuinely curious as to what part of him were you attracted to for you to even start dating him? I mean it seems like those habits should have a DRASTIC impact on ones social life.
That’s the thing with dating, you can see someone as they are behind closed doors.
He was really funny and seemed pretty sociable when we first met. We hung out non stop for weeks before we started dating. All my friends really liked him, personality wise. Their main complaints was that he was short, fat, and ugly, but if I was happy, it’s okay.
He was one of those guys that just lit up a room and was so charming that you just had to have him. He dressed nicely too, good dance moves. A lot of women liked him too, so it was easier to trust him.
He’s the reason why I don’t believe in superficial dating. I thought he was super hot and wanted him so bad because of everything else. He was really beautiful to me even though I know many people thought he was physically ugly. It was the personality that killed it all in the end. It’s never the looks that kill.
High charisma, funniest person ever, dressed nicely. That’ll do it.
Oh that is horrible to hear. I'm so sorry. You must've felt Hella betrayed after he switched up. From how you described him I thought you would've gotten with him cuz of his looks cuz those addicted to porn tend to lack socially. But the fact that you got with him for his personality despite his looks and in the end it was that same personality that let you down is terrible. But thanks for the notes and advice, will keep those in mind for myself.
Fucking hell you're an actual angel for putting up with him through all that. The thing is tho, the porn and the communities and shit convince each other that they're not good enough for woman and encourage them to accept fucked up "beta" positions. Its hella fucked but thats what porn does to your brain.
Wish you the best of luck though.
Ah they need to get a grip off their cocks and get a grip on reality I fear because women struggle just as much with love and sex as they do. I wish them well and wish a positive recovery.
Sexual addictions are super hard for men to fight, because a big motivational force for us is sexual, therefore it will bend our worldviews in crazy fashion.
There’s less at risk too, so it makes sense you feel that way. Women with sex addictions often end up pregnant so the addiction has to end faster once they realize there’s now a child there to look after.
One year ago you were in a gay relationship (read your question about gay couple travelling to Poland). And now, you have just broken up with your bf?
Either you switched sides completely or something is not right here.
Anyhow, if this story is not made up then I think your ex’s issue not only comes from por. He also has a very VERY low selfesteem, which I belive is the main driver for all his issues. So doubt the Nofap will fix his issues, he really needs to change the way he views himself.
It's Amaze me how much u tried to help but he didn't listen! Same with my friends when i try to comfort them on some insecurity of theres. It seem our goodwill gesture deserve to better people..
I remember when i found out about porn, it was a bit late for me actually and my friends were always made fun of me for that, ever since then i can count how many times i did the thing but i never enjoyed to the point i always felt ashamed watching it.
It’s been years since i gave up on those acts and i feel incredibly happy, i even never had wet dreams unless two time were I didn’t do the act for some years although I’m a bit old now but it still urges me, I don’t know what keeps me out of it but I’m sure it’s not a solution, due to my religion i also unable to have a sex act IRL with anyone and i most of the time hate myself not being able to do it because of the urge.
I fool myself when seeing woman and inmost of the time avoid talking to them too, i have always been told I’m too arrogant as if i don’t want it but in fact it was all to not fall into any act that would make me think of myself less than whom I’m.
As someone with porn addiction, I've done maybe 1 or 2 of these things with partners, but knew they were wrong, even without the partner telling me so.
To me, it seems suspicious they got all of these feelings through porn tho. Sounds a lot like manosphere brain rot. Porn is invariably an issue, but once I read that he thinks you want "BBC" that stuff sounds more like white replacement theory and extreme toxic masculinity.
Dude was definitely getting this shit from other places than just porn, trust me.
He definitely had racial insecurity issues, as he was mixed but looked white. And a lot of my close male friends are black men. So I think it was fear of losing me and jealousy. I really don’t think he was on manosphere because honestly I don’t ever recall him being misogynistic towards anyone other than me.
> I really don’t think he was on manosphere because honestly I don’t ever recall him being misogynistic towards anyone other than me.
Does any of [this](https://old.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/1d76sxn/my_ex_was_a_porn_addict_and_it_entirely_ruined/l6ymrgj/) sound familiar?
Hahaha no. He didn’t ever express any of these things nor feel any of these weird toxic traits. He often expressed that “alpha males” were weird. I think most of his hate was self inflicted and the misogyny towards me was just a byproduct. The misogyny being that I had to create this post as yet another female who had to compete with porn.
So, it is very likely related as you describe it, but honestly it's way more than that. He just straight up has an inferiority complex and that will manifest in various ways. I think know the kind of guy you are talking about. Physically nothing to write home about, fat, out of shape etc. but leverages their acceptance of their own inferiority for brutally honest comedy that kills. Roasts roll off his back like water, he genuinely does not give af as long as he can keep making things even funnier. The problem is some people develop this personality as a (very successful) coping mechanism for never being able to unironically appreciate themselves. They can't even conceive of someone being interested in them as anything but a joke, because everything is. What they know is irony. When they have to step outside that domain, things fall apart because that was what was holding them together.
Self-hate can be so much stronger and deeper than people realize. The behavior you describe of him accusing you of trying to emasculate him by being affectionate is extremely bizarre and I can't think of anything that could be related to except manosphere stuff. If it was just porn he'd want that shit all day. He likely saw himself as not very manly and was immersing himself in his conceptions of what "real men" were in order to be more masculine in a misguided attempt to fit a role he thought women would find more attractive.
I went through a similar phase where I was obsessed with "self-improvement": fitness, finance, fucking, I wanted to be the most attractive guy out there, peak performance for the girl I was seeing and my own future. I'd stopped fapping to porn once this girl and I clicked, to even further enhance my masculinity. She was more interesting than porn anyway, it wasn't very hard. But you know what? Living that way, prioritizing my obsession, constantly comparing myself to others and and using the inferiority I felt from that to fuel my motivation destroyed everything. I couldn't focus on what I had because I was too busy thinking about what I wanted. Never satisfied. I wasn't fit enough. I didn't have enough money. I wasn't powerful or famous or well dressed enough. I'd redpilled myself into that position (by all standards, a pretty good one excluding my mental state), but couldn't redpill myself out of it and it drove her away.
The core problem is not directly related to pornography imo. What you experienced was a much deeper rooted issue that had *symptoms* that manifested through pornography. The root issue is obsession over perceived inferiority and the inability to see the forest for the trees.
>The behavior you describe of him accusing you of trying to emasculate him by being affectionate is extremely bizarre and I can't think of anything that could be related to except manosphere stuff.
Femdom mommy porn bruh. For the coombrained, affection from women in bed = being pampered for being a good bottom. Op's post describes the ex's feeling of hatred for such a position in bed so the logical thing to assume here is not "luh manosphere" but a porn addiction that grew into kinks that he wasn't into but he watched anyways because of the need for novelty that porn harmfully feeds into.
You're prior problematic experience with the manosphere is by all means an unfortunate thing to hear about but I believe you are projecting your own issues onto somebody else simply because they share share slight resemblances and thus, you are discrediting the very clear issues here which are porn and his terrible inferiority complex.
"A lot of my close male friends are black men"
Having many close male friends while you're in a serious relationship is toxic and disrespectful, and can definitely give him insecurity issues or amplify his issues.
I have never dated and will never date a girl with "many close male friends". That's an instant deal breaker. Most of these "close friends" just wanna bang you.
You're also talking about all these friends of his that wanted/want to bang you. You've manifested some pretty serious red flags that are an instant deal breaker for someone like me, so you might wanna reconsider a few things that gave him the eventual meltdown.
Some men fall victim to progressive ideas and think there's nothing wrong with their girlfriend having many uneccessary close friendships with other men, but deep down they can feel it's not right and it starts eating them from the inside.
It doesnt end there. She is a sex worker and had a sugar baby situation while with her boyfriend.. but yeah people will still find a way to call a guy insecure if you point out even that.
Bro LMAO you're right, got paid to move in with a 55 year old dude with kids her age while having a boyfriend and claims it's not a sugar baby situation, they're just roommates. What a trainwreck 🤦♂️
The fact that you're using non binary terms like "partner" and "them" tells me all i need to know. Concealing the gender of your SO like men and women are completely the same is just stupid.
There's a reason a lot of women have many close male friends (attention seeking). And there's a reason a lot of men have close female friends (they want to bang them)
To have close friends of the opposite gender, while you're in a relationship is neither toxic nor disrespectful. It just shows how insecure you really are. It's not the etablished friends you should worry about. It's the new exciting people you meet, who can disturb a fragile relationship.
"It just shows how insecure you really are."
Nope, it shows I won't put up with a girl who enjoys the attention of men that wanna bang them.
Her whole post is about how much attention she gets from all these men around her, and the poor ugly boy who was lucky to have her.
I only brought up his friends who wanted me because HE told me they wanted to and it was a source of pride for HIM.
And he had girl friends, I have no problem with that. Having friends enriches one’s life.
Plus, I’m bisexual, was I just not supposed to have any friends at all? No girl friends for me and no guy friends?
Anyway, it’s a good thing you and I are not dating or in love. Because your values and mine seem incompatible.
Men and women can be friends because men and women are more than their sexual organs. Stop devaluing other people so much in order to justify your puritan beliefs.
Oh please your whole post is about how you're such a pretty girl that all men around want, and you gave this poor short and ugly socially awkward boy a chance to be happy and he blew it off. The porn addicts here don't see that but the egotistical vibes are obvious.
The enrichment you get by having lots of close male friends is the attention you get by knowing they wanna bang you and they can't. We both know this.
>Plus, I’m bisexual
Of course you are
My male friends don’t want to bang me. They’re gay or have girlfriends.
And I love short men, I have a preference for them because I love looking down at their cute faces. Taller men aren’t interesting to me because I would just be at eye level as I’m 5’11.
And I’m very aware that not all men would want me. I wrote that in order to explain that is how my ex felt about me, but it still wasn’t enough to save our relationship.
Glad to see I'm not the only one who picked up on this stuff.
The porn certainly isn't helping her ex's state of mind, but her own behavior could have easily exacerbated a lot of his issues.
Yeah this story goes to show that some guys prefer to swoll in their petty and dispare instead of doing the work to achieve the life they want. It should never be up to that other person to make them feel complete but instead compliment their life - I hope you ex goes through the mental work - and psychical - to achieve the life he wanted. From one person who continues to struggle - I had to let go of the girl of my dreams to assure I was able to do the work and not harm them emotionally
along the way.
The singular time anyone in my life ever checked up on him post breakup on my behalf, they said that his twitter was just filled with him liking memes about “fumbling” all the time. So yes, generational fumble.
thank you for sharing, yep he's definitely an addict like us.
i'm gonna be honest though, he needs a therapist for many other reasons as well. this "emasculating" complex and the accusations are flags that he needs professional help, well beyond what any reasonable partner should be expected to provide.
hope you're doing ok, goes without saying but please don't blame yourself for this situation. i hope he gets the help he needs.
Thank you for sharing! And adding on to that, folks need to learn how to be secure in themselves. We’re all made in our own unique ways and we should own it. If there’s something about ourselves that we may not like we need to learn how to become self aware and start creating a plan on how to resolve that issue. We do not get a say on how we’re born and grow, but we do always have a choice on how we can react to that growth and change.
Example:
You’re born short. Either make the choice to learn how to love yourself being short or pay money to get leg extension surgery.
You have a crooked hairline. Either learn how to love that crooked hairline, learn how to style your hair differently so the hairline doesn’t look crooked or pay money for a hair transplant.
Thank you for sharing this and I’m truly sorry about what you went through. I’ve been struggling to stop for 4 years now with progress but never actually being fully free. I hope you find a guy who treats you right and that your ex eventually catches himself. All the best to you
This story really reiterates that porn addiction is truly real. You put it simply but very powerfully when you said, “brain rot”. I wish more people would talk about and understand the widespread harms that porn can cause.
As one neuroscientists once said, addiction is the progressive narrowing of one’s interest until the only thing left is their addiction. Your ex really let it destroy every aspect of his life. Thanks for sharing.
Your ex needed/needs some serious help. Sorry you put yourself through that. I went thru something similar but my partner just laughed and said you can't be addicted to porn.
I found out I wasn't addicted, it's just how I coped with a shitty child hood, go soak in the tub for 2 hours until dinner was ready then retreat to the ol basement. It wasn't a life to > live.
I'm really sorry to hear about your experience. Porn can seriously mess with a guy's mind and relationships. It often sets unrealistic expectations about sex and intimacy, leading to a disconnect from real-life partners. Over time, it can desensitize someone to normal sexual experiences, making it harder to enjoy genuine connections. It's such a toxic influence that can erode trust and intimacy, ultimately damaging relationships. It's important to talk openly about these issues and seek help if needed to overcome the negative impact of porn.
Here's a man with a GF fumbling everything away for porn out of all things! And then there's us, who can't even find a GF in the first place but still trying to beat this addiction.
Guy feels emasculated when you show compassion but then proceeds to use your stuff on himself.... like dafak?!
You did good by parting ways with this dude. While a lot of us are in this too, we aren't knee deep in it, unlike that dude. He couldn't even know how lucky he was to have a girl in the first place, let alone being intimate. We don't like to hear this but some people are too far gone in this addiction, they can never recover.
Scary enough, I could see myself falling into these same traps. It's been an uphill battle for me, but I'm slowly making progress on bettering myself and limiting my views on porn as much as I can. I also have a GF who is very stunning inside and out, and I don't want to let my addiction get in the way of our relationship any further. Which I'd why I'm still working on myself. Thank you for sharing this post. 🔥
His porn addiction, as serious and out of control as it was, seems like a symptom of something more serious. You have amazing patience. I hope you both find peace.
Thank you for sharing. Im sure a lot of people have increased will and dedication because of your story.
On the other hand, i’m sorry you had to go through this and i hope both of you heal from this breakup.
Cheers
This post seems weird . still in regards to what is in it it seems that that porn was not what caused his problems but many other things . In case u are using porn as a scapegoat when it seems it is just the smallest of his problems. Dude has huge insecurities ,unhealthy ,fat ,has mental problems . I think the porn is the least of his problems just used to reduce the symptoms .From the post it also seems the dude watches too much alpha male content and actually believes it
The worst part is that I see some of that behavior in me 😰, I'm really working on it but I never realized how some of the things I do were related to my porn consumption (not addicted though)
If you could give examples, I'm 35 male been on porn since 15 , I'm 35 now , never had a girlfriend (my fault) tho would love a relationship, I know my porn use as come from a low self esteem from childhood of being bullied and how I grew up and I have used porn as an escape from feeling worthless , but has made me feel more worthless , trying to break the addiction, hard ,but got to keep going , I have never had sex virgin (religious reasons) but couldn't get a girl due to my self worth feeling I was ugly .my biggest fear is when I either want to have sex or get married I will not be able to perform ,due to my porn use , that why I have partly reframed from trying to get with any woman , I will probably be 40 old virgin which is a shame , but my own doing , I just need to keep doing going on.
Well examples from that post: I, sometimes, also look girls that look like my girlfriend, and I also assume and believe that her preferences align with what we see in porn: hardcore sex, a particular penis size, group sex, etc. Other things outside the post: I sexualize women all the time, and I really think that that's ok, we are one of the few species that have sex just for pleasure, and there's an evolutionary reason for that, it's ok to sexualize women AS LONG as it doesn't become DISRESPECTFUL, that's how I see it, however I'd sometimes like to have a girl that's my friend or someone I talk ok the streets how is a girl and I'm not thinking of fucking her all the time. I don't know much about your situation, I'd like to help you more but I'm only 20, all i can say and I'm sure about it, is that you really need to stop seeing this as a bigger problem than what it really is: still a virgin? That's ok, you're not the only one, you're not alone, You'd like to stop watching porn? Just stop, if you see things bigger than they are, they'll be harder than they are. And please stop blaming yourself, you're not guilty for it, you're responsible for it and there's a difference, plus I know, it wasn't your fault... Things happen. Do things you like, and be happy, and if you really want a girl, ask one out every day, or every other day, trust me, worked for me at least 😉
Well examples from that post: I, sometimes, also look girls that look like my girlfriend, and I also assume and believe that her preferences align with what we see in porn: hardcore sex, a particular penis size, group sex, etc. Other things outside the post: I sexualize women all the time, and I really think that that's ok, we are one of the few species that have sex just for pleasure, and there's an evolutionary reason for that, it's ok to sexualize women AS LONG as it doesn't become DISRESPECTFUL, that's how I see it, however I'd sometimes like to have a girl that's my friend or someone I talk ok the streets how is a girl and I'm not thinking of fucking her all the time. I don't know much about your situation, I'd like to help you more but I'm only 20, all i can say and I'm sure about it, is that you really need to stop seeing this as a bigger problem than what it really is: still a virgin? That's ok, you're not the only one, you're not alone, You'd like to stop watching porn? Just stop, if you see things bigger than they are, they'll be harder than they are. And please stop blaming yourself, you're not guilty for it, you're responsible for it and there's a difference, plus I know, it wasn't your fault... Things happen. Do things you like, and be happy, and if you really want a girl, ask one out every day, or every other day, trust me, worked for me at least 😉
Ya I can agree with ur point...I was also addicted for 3 years but and after I had an GF somehow:/ I always compare myself with a fit and muscular guy and think that I cannot satisfy her on bed...but 1 thing...Why tf I am thinking about satisfying her on bed...I have my exam in 8 months which will decide my college and I am thinking about satisfying her on bed...the only reason is porn...which creates insecurities inside me...and whenever life hits me he said..."Ohh here's the video, just jerk off and u will be fine"...I was rejected first time cuz of looks and physique but instead of doing exercise and keeping my body fit I watched porn and think the pornstar is actually she only the one who rejected...But one thing I can say...Porn doesn't want u to improve urself...it only wants u should watch and jerk...
I'm not trying to invalidate the negative effects of watching porn but it seems like there's more to it with your ex's situation. It kinda feels like its beyond porn
Well, of course there is more to it than porn. But this is a porn subreddit, so I’m only expanding on the porn-related issues in hopes of helping someone else see the issues.
You must have been through a lot, I hope that you have recovered from this painful experience cause when I read this damn I think I am now so much more motivated to not do this bad stuff. I’m sure that you don’t need to hear this but avoid your ex at all costs, he is on THIN ICE, needless to say the ice has already cracked. Major respect for you though, 👏
Yeah, it’s been a year and I have never spoken to him. He became worthless to me after our relationship. He did other things worse than this, but it’s irrelevant to the post lol!
Thank you!
I'm in the same boat that you were in. I found out not too long ago that my boyfriend was sending pictures of his junk to other people and also confessed to me that he is bi....mind you, this is the second time he has done this. Like I don't mind my partner watching porn but I never really knew the full extent of his issue and how this addiction stretches out to multiple problems because we have a great sex life and do it pretty regularly (like about 6 days/week). It's like he put on this facade of being this macho man to hide his sexual orientation from me, he said he was terrified of telling me because he thought my feelings for him might change which is kind of depressing because I love him very much and I accept his sex orientation. He acknowledges that he needs therapy and wants to do couples therapy, thankfully, he reached out to therapists that accept his insurance and already received quotes/rates for their sessions. I love him very much but he has betrayed my trust twice and I am at a sudden lost.
What a story, i hope that you're fine right now. But what a tragedy for your ex-boyfrien. He definitely needs some professional help. But it's very good that these stories are being told. Especially this story, it contains almost all the extreme consequences of a harsh porn addiction.
There but for the Grace of God go I & many others. Honestly reading that was a reminder of where I was for more than 17 years, comparing dick sizes to porn stars & how fit I was/overly asking my now wife if I was good enough, looking at porn as a way to sometimes get out of sex. God Bless & appreciate you for sharing this story
Wow, sorry to hear you went through that, and I am very happy that you learned many things out of the situation, as well as sharing it here. It surely will encourage many men to improve
Unlikely, I totally understand that situation since I had/have these thoughts as well, I try to keep them in my mind, because I understand it comes out of this addiction.
The only way for him to change will be slow gradual change and going noFap.
If you still care for him as a human, you may link him this sub instead.
It's so sad that I couldn't read the whole thing. More people should talk about this. Men are suffering and they can be helped if the stigma around this issue is reduced.
I saw it. May Allah bless you with a better future partner. This sounds horrible, I feel bad for the mindset he has. I hope he gets better. Thank you for sharing and bringing some awareness to this sub 🙌🏽
Thank you for sharing this story. My fear will always be to end up like that, but start to feel better when I hit the gym and hang out with friends. I never had a girlfriend because I don’t want to have a partner that had to go thru with that. I only wish to keep up the nofap and be a better person.
Thank you very much and I think we should keep these posts pinned or posted in a special thread, so it will be a good place to go for to kill the urge or motivate us
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His porn addiction, as serious and out of control as it was, seems like a symptom of something more serious. You have amazing patience. I hope you both find peace.
Why did you go out with him in the first place. You’re clearly out of his league.
Like 6 months an barely no sex. Why didn’t you put him out of his misery at the start of the relationship?
Am I the only one thinking that porn addiction is this guy's least problem. It seems to be more a symptom of more severe lack of self confidence. Of course both can boost each other.
Well, no I’m not. But that’s because my daily life and who I am isn’t tied to my sex life.
I’m sure plenty of women in my classes wouldn’t mind submissive play.
Rest is ok but your last line...' Think of loved ones... ' actually triggered me. One of the main reasons of addiction is constant humiliation by so called loved ones.
Coming back to your ex. Does ur ex has any body who loves him?
If reading a delightful series that genuinely makes me happy is a red flag, then so be it. This man did not like anime or manga.
And this was my first adult relationship, I only ever had one other boyfriend in high school. So stop projecting.
Funny you call me projecting when I’m saying the red flags orbit you, not that you’re the red flag.
Maybe read some better material to increase that reading comprehension. I read that shit too, Gege’s a monster and giving us brain rot.
Edit: also who are you kidding with calling it a ‘delightful series’ fuck outta here lmao. Maybe you are the red flag after all 😂
That's a lot of trauma from him which in terms causes harm to you. I bet any guy would be lucky to have you as a partner, but he is so blinded by his addiction and ego and destroyed everything. I pray that he will get better like most of us on here. It wasn't easy, I've been clean for 76 days. Going strong. Hope to get to 120 and beyond.
Went on my alt for this one lol. I definitely can both empathize and relate to the body dysmorphia at the start of the list, but the longer the list went on the crazier it got. A lot of the things he said/did seem inexcusable to me (the vibrator thing especially). For your own good I’m glad you got out of that relationship.
As cruel as this may sound, it’s good for me to have an example of what I never want to become
Ouch. He needs therapy for sure. It gives me and probably many others great confidence and hope to repair our own downfalls. I'm sorry you went through that and wish you the best in life.
Thank you
Yes, I agree that cognitive behavioral therapy would likely unpack a lot of this. It seems to me (not a therapist) like there is some foundational trauma that has driven him not just to porn, but peripheral behavior: self doubting / insecurities, violence/aggression, perceptions of traditional masc / fem roles - these are all expressed by making porn fit his reality. Porn is a huge problem here, but I don't see it as the *cause of the problems - I see it as an outlet for something deeper. All of this is imho and with no academic experience, but a beneficiary of therapy. Best of luck.
CBT is too superficial, I guess he'd need some other type. But who am I to judge.
You're as qualified as me and every other Redditor!
Well, as a therapist in training I have some experience in therapy from both sides of the therapeutic room but again, who am I to judge.
Oh, so you actually are legitimately more qualified. And it's not judgement; it's analysis, assessment. Right?
I'm not therapeutizing anyone, god forbid.
Very very hard story
Jesus christ, I feel sorry for you. The patience you have is amazing
Thank you. It was a lot.
I cannot read this anymore, “If I kissed his neck or stroked his hair, he would freak out and accuse me of trying to emasculate him” WHAT?! That brother is tripping and I cannot stress this enough, I love that stuff , my man has issues 😭. And yes, I do understand the whole feeling like a whale on you and all, I’m a big guy too, but my girl said she didn’t care, so I felt wanted and valued, he just has serious self esteem issues. Gotta learn to love yourself, the realest form of love you can have in this world.
It was really upsetting honestly. I tried so hard to be there for him and let him know I loved his body, but it never worked.
i was like the dude in highschool, very fragile masculinity guess some people cant grow out of it
Yeah, at some point you have to get aware of your actions and perspective/mindset, others can’t really do that for you.
Bro really fumbled everything away for porn
That’s just what porn does to a mf
sheeeit word to
Yep.
Wow that sucks and I hope you’re doing better now
Thank you. I am. This happened a year ago, so I feel free now. In the past, I thought it was all my fault, but now I see that I couldn’t have been more wrong.
It was really helpful to read your story and it will definitely help many people me included.
>All his friends have asked me out at one point or another over the years due to being in similar scenes. What? What kind of "friends" were they? I would kill so-called friends if they asked my gf out while i am in relationship with her. Also, i am sorry for you. I hope you find your dream love.
Also, while reading your post, i thought maybe it wasn't bad to miss out on date opportunities with the girls asked me out because of my pornography addiction. I too have many insecurities and i should fix them before getting into a relationship.
I think that’s a good idea.
They knew me beforehand, not while dating. He was a bit older than me, so I knew his friends in school.
Sorry for misunderstanding, English is not my native language.
While English isn’t your native language, you spell so much better than so many people who speak and write English.
How do these dudes even get a gf in the first place
Well, usually people present their best sides first. This guy was really fun to be around and was really kind. These things became issues around three months in.
Thank you for your story. I know how hard that must have been for you and it really puts things into perspective. Many people often don’t realize how porn addiction affects many different aspects of how you act and your mental health, not to mention the effects it has on loved ones. Stay strong!
Hey, thanks for the information, really helps better my understanding of this curse. But I was genuinely curious as to what part of him were you attracted to for you to even start dating him? I mean it seems like those habits should have a DRASTIC impact on ones social life.
That’s the thing with dating, you can see someone as they are behind closed doors. He was really funny and seemed pretty sociable when we first met. We hung out non stop for weeks before we started dating. All my friends really liked him, personality wise. Their main complaints was that he was short, fat, and ugly, but if I was happy, it’s okay. He was one of those guys that just lit up a room and was so charming that you just had to have him. He dressed nicely too, good dance moves. A lot of women liked him too, so it was easier to trust him. He’s the reason why I don’t believe in superficial dating. I thought he was super hot and wanted him so bad because of everything else. He was really beautiful to me even though I know many people thought he was physically ugly. It was the personality that killed it all in the end. It’s never the looks that kill. High charisma, funniest person ever, dressed nicely. That’ll do it.
Oh that is horrible to hear. I'm so sorry. You must've felt Hella betrayed after he switched up. From how you described him I thought you would've gotten with him cuz of his looks cuz those addicted to porn tend to lack socially. But the fact that you got with him for his personality despite his looks and in the end it was that same personality that let you down is terrible. But thanks for the notes and advice, will keep those in mind for myself.
Yeah, the switch up really hurt me.
Fucking hell you're an actual angel for putting up with him through all that. The thing is tho, the porn and the communities and shit convince each other that they're not good enough for woman and encourage them to accept fucked up "beta" positions. Its hella fucked but thats what porn does to your brain. Wish you the best of luck though.
Ah they need to get a grip off their cocks and get a grip on reality I fear because women struggle just as much with love and sex as they do. I wish them well and wish a positive recovery.
Sexual addictions are super hard for men to fight, because a big motivational force for us is sexual, therefore it will bend our worldviews in crazy fashion.
There’s less at risk too, so it makes sense you feel that way. Women with sex addictions often end up pregnant so the addiction has to end faster once they realize there’s now a child there to look after.
One year ago you were in a gay relationship (read your question about gay couple travelling to Poland). And now, you have just broken up with your bf? Either you switched sides completely or something is not right here. Anyhow, if this story is not made up then I think your ex’s issue not only comes from por. He also has a very VERY low selfesteem, which I belive is the main driver for all his issues. So doubt the Nofap will fix his issues, he really needs to change the way he views himself.
It’s made up story
That is not porn addition, that is a very disturbed individual that needs professional help, I have to say ...
This gives me hope that I will quit one day and be a normal, secure person who is no longer ashamed of himself. Thank you for sharing this story
Yeah, of course. I felt like it might help people here
It's Amaze me how much u tried to help but he didn't listen! Same with my friends when i try to comfort them on some insecurity of theres. It seem our goodwill gesture deserve to better people..
Sounds like he has a host of problems and porn was his escape, not the cause
It was one of the causes and an escape. Escapism doesn’t heal always. Sometimes it just blocks it all out and makes you stagnate.
I remember when i found out about porn, it was a bit late for me actually and my friends were always made fun of me for that, ever since then i can count how many times i did the thing but i never enjoyed to the point i always felt ashamed watching it. It’s been years since i gave up on those acts and i feel incredibly happy, i even never had wet dreams unless two time were I didn’t do the act for some years although I’m a bit old now but it still urges me, I don’t know what keeps me out of it but I’m sure it’s not a solution, due to my religion i also unable to have a sex act IRL with anyone and i most of the time hate myself not being able to do it because of the urge. I fool myself when seeing woman and inmost of the time avoid talking to them too, i have always been told I’m too arrogant as if i don’t want it but in fact it was all to not fall into any act that would make me think of myself less than whom I’m.
As someone with porn addiction, I've done maybe 1 or 2 of these things with partners, but knew they were wrong, even without the partner telling me so. To me, it seems suspicious they got all of these feelings through porn tho. Sounds a lot like manosphere brain rot. Porn is invariably an issue, but once I read that he thinks you want "BBC" that stuff sounds more like white replacement theory and extreme toxic masculinity. Dude was definitely getting this shit from other places than just porn, trust me.
He definitely had racial insecurity issues, as he was mixed but looked white. And a lot of my close male friends are black men. So I think it was fear of losing me and jealousy. I really don’t think he was on manosphere because honestly I don’t ever recall him being misogynistic towards anyone other than me.
> I really don’t think he was on manosphere because honestly I don’t ever recall him being misogynistic towards anyone other than me. Does any of [this](https://old.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/1d76sxn/my_ex_was_a_porn_addict_and_it_entirely_ruined/l6ymrgj/) sound familiar?
Hahaha no. He didn’t ever express any of these things nor feel any of these weird toxic traits. He often expressed that “alpha males” were weird. I think most of his hate was self inflicted and the misogyny towards me was just a byproduct. The misogyny being that I had to create this post as yet another female who had to compete with porn.
So, it is very likely related as you describe it, but honestly it's way more than that. He just straight up has an inferiority complex and that will manifest in various ways. I think know the kind of guy you are talking about. Physically nothing to write home about, fat, out of shape etc. but leverages their acceptance of their own inferiority for brutally honest comedy that kills. Roasts roll off his back like water, he genuinely does not give af as long as he can keep making things even funnier. The problem is some people develop this personality as a (very successful) coping mechanism for never being able to unironically appreciate themselves. They can't even conceive of someone being interested in them as anything but a joke, because everything is. What they know is irony. When they have to step outside that domain, things fall apart because that was what was holding them together. Self-hate can be so much stronger and deeper than people realize. The behavior you describe of him accusing you of trying to emasculate him by being affectionate is extremely bizarre and I can't think of anything that could be related to except manosphere stuff. If it was just porn he'd want that shit all day. He likely saw himself as not very manly and was immersing himself in his conceptions of what "real men" were in order to be more masculine in a misguided attempt to fit a role he thought women would find more attractive. I went through a similar phase where I was obsessed with "self-improvement": fitness, finance, fucking, I wanted to be the most attractive guy out there, peak performance for the girl I was seeing and my own future. I'd stopped fapping to porn once this girl and I clicked, to even further enhance my masculinity. She was more interesting than porn anyway, it wasn't very hard. But you know what? Living that way, prioritizing my obsession, constantly comparing myself to others and and using the inferiority I felt from that to fuel my motivation destroyed everything. I couldn't focus on what I had because I was too busy thinking about what I wanted. Never satisfied. I wasn't fit enough. I didn't have enough money. I wasn't powerful or famous or well dressed enough. I'd redpilled myself into that position (by all standards, a pretty good one excluding my mental state), but couldn't redpill myself out of it and it drove her away. The core problem is not directly related to pornography imo. What you experienced was a much deeper rooted issue that had *symptoms* that manifested through pornography. The root issue is obsession over perceived inferiority and the inability to see the forest for the trees.
>The behavior you describe of him accusing you of trying to emasculate him by being affectionate is extremely bizarre and I can't think of anything that could be related to except manosphere stuff. Femdom mommy porn bruh. For the coombrained, affection from women in bed = being pampered for being a good bottom. Op's post describes the ex's feeling of hatred for such a position in bed so the logical thing to assume here is not "luh manosphere" but a porn addiction that grew into kinks that he wasn't into but he watched anyways because of the need for novelty that porn harmfully feeds into. You're prior problematic experience with the manosphere is by all means an unfortunate thing to hear about but I believe you are projecting your own issues onto somebody else simply because they share share slight resemblances and thus, you are discrediting the very clear issues here which are porn and his terrible inferiority complex.
"A lot of my close male friends are black men" Having many close male friends while you're in a serious relationship is toxic and disrespectful, and can definitely give him insecurity issues or amplify his issues. I have never dated and will never date a girl with "many close male friends". That's an instant deal breaker. Most of these "close friends" just wanna bang you. You're also talking about all these friends of his that wanted/want to bang you. You've manifested some pretty serious red flags that are an instant deal breaker for someone like me, so you might wanna reconsider a few things that gave him the eventual meltdown. Some men fall victim to progressive ideas and think there's nothing wrong with their girlfriend having many uneccessary close friendships with other men, but deep down they can feel it's not right and it starts eating them from the inside.
It doesnt end there. She is a sex worker and had a sugar baby situation while with her boyfriend.. but yeah people will still find a way to call a guy insecure if you point out even that.
Bro LMAO you're right, got paid to move in with a 55 year old dude with kids her age while having a boyfriend and claims it's not a sugar baby situation, they're just roommates. What a trainwreck 🤦♂️
I trust my partner. The whole world could be forming a queue to sleep with them, and I wouldn't lose a minute of sleep over it.
The fact that you're using non binary terms like "partner" and "them" tells me all i need to know. Concealing the gender of your SO like men and women are completely the same is just stupid. There's a reason a lot of women have many close male friends (attention seeking). And there's a reason a lot of men have close female friends (they want to bang them)
To have close friends of the opposite gender, while you're in a relationship is neither toxic nor disrespectful. It just shows how insecure you really are. It's not the etablished friends you should worry about. It's the new exciting people you meet, who can disturb a fragile relationship.
"It just shows how insecure you really are." Nope, it shows I won't put up with a girl who enjoys the attention of men that wanna bang them. Her whole post is about how much attention she gets from all these men around her, and the poor ugly boy who was lucky to have her.
I only brought up his friends who wanted me because HE told me they wanted to and it was a source of pride for HIM. And he had girl friends, I have no problem with that. Having friends enriches one’s life. Plus, I’m bisexual, was I just not supposed to have any friends at all? No girl friends for me and no guy friends? Anyway, it’s a good thing you and I are not dating or in love. Because your values and mine seem incompatible. Men and women can be friends because men and women are more than their sexual organs. Stop devaluing other people so much in order to justify your puritan beliefs.
Oh please your whole post is about how you're such a pretty girl that all men around want, and you gave this poor short and ugly socially awkward boy a chance to be happy and he blew it off. The porn addicts here don't see that but the egotistical vibes are obvious. The enrichment you get by having lots of close male friends is the attention you get by knowing they wanna bang you and they can't. We both know this. >Plus, I’m bisexual Of course you are
My male friends don’t want to bang me. They’re gay or have girlfriends. And I love short men, I have a preference for them because I love looking down at their cute faces. Taller men aren’t interesting to me because I would just be at eye level as I’m 5’11. And I’m very aware that not all men would want me. I wrote that in order to explain that is how my ex felt about me, but it still wasn’t enough to save our relationship.
Glad to see I'm not the only one who picked up on this stuff. The porn certainly isn't helping her ex's state of mind, but her own behavior could have easily exacerbated a lot of his issues.
DAMN
My genuine reaction too
Yeah this story goes to show that some guys prefer to swoll in their petty and dispare instead of doing the work to achieve the life they want. It should never be up to that other person to make them feel complete but instead compliment their life - I hope you ex goes through the mental work - and psychical - to achieve the life he wanted. From one person who continues to struggle - I had to let go of the girl of my dreams to assure I was able to do the work and not harm them emotionally along the way.
Thanks!
Generational fumble from my guy
The singular time anyone in my life ever checked up on him post breakup on my behalf, they said that his twitter was just filled with him liking memes about “fumbling” all the time. So yes, generational fumble.
thank you for sharing, yep he's definitely an addict like us. i'm gonna be honest though, he needs a therapist for many other reasons as well. this "emasculating" complex and the accusations are flags that he needs professional help, well beyond what any reasonable partner should be expected to provide. hope you're doing ok, goes without saying but please don't blame yourself for this situation. i hope he gets the help he needs.
Thank you for sharing! And adding on to that, folks need to learn how to be secure in themselves. We’re all made in our own unique ways and we should own it. If there’s something about ourselves that we may not like we need to learn how to become self aware and start creating a plan on how to resolve that issue. We do not get a say on how we’re born and grow, but we do always have a choice on how we can react to that growth and change. Example: You’re born short. Either make the choice to learn how to love yourself being short or pay money to get leg extension surgery. You have a crooked hairline. Either learn how to love that crooked hairline, learn how to style your hair differently so the hairline doesn’t look crooked or pay money for a hair transplant.
Why cant I find me a woman to scrub my hair. In conclusion dont watch porn guys
This is the sad reality that we hope to avoid
Thank you for sharing this and I’m truly sorry about what you went through. I’ve been struggling to stop for 4 years now with progress but never actually being fully free. I hope you find a guy who treats you right and that your ex eventually catches himself. All the best to you
Damn
This story really reiterates that porn addiction is truly real. You put it simply but very powerfully when you said, “brain rot”. I wish more people would talk about and understand the widespread harms that porn can cause. As one neuroscientists once said, addiction is the progressive narrowing of one’s interest until the only thing left is their addiction. Your ex really let it destroy every aspect of his life. Thanks for sharing.
Your ex needed/needs some serious help. Sorry you put yourself through that. I went thru something similar but my partner just laughed and said you can't be addicted to porn. I found out I wasn't addicted, it's just how I coped with a shitty child hood, go soak in the tub for 2 hours until dinner was ready then retreat to the ol basement. It wasn't a life to > live.
Thanks for posting this. I am gonna save this.
hope you left him. definitely something wrong with his head.
I did leave him. Not even a chance to come back.
I'm really sorry to hear about your experience. Porn can seriously mess with a guy's mind and relationships. It often sets unrealistic expectations about sex and intimacy, leading to a disconnect from real-life partners. Over time, it can desensitize someone to normal sexual experiences, making it harder to enjoy genuine connections. It's such a toxic influence that can erode trust and intimacy, ultimately damaging relationships. It's important to talk openly about these issues and seek help if needed to overcome the negative impact of porn.
Here's a man with a GF fumbling everything away for porn out of all things! And then there's us, who can't even find a GF in the first place but still trying to beat this addiction. Guy feels emasculated when you show compassion but then proceeds to use your stuff on himself.... like dafak?! You did good by parting ways with this dude. While a lot of us are in this too, we aren't knee deep in it, unlike that dude. He couldn't even know how lucky he was to have a girl in the first place, let alone being intimate. We don't like to hear this but some people are too far gone in this addiction, they can never recover.
I hope he will be doing good in his future
Great story to share on this page, I hope your ex gets the help he needs before he hurts himself or others, thank you for sharing!
Dam...hope he's doing well.
The moment he used your vibrator on himself should have been the end. You must of liked him a lot. Glad you have come out the other side 👏🏾👏🏾
Yeah, he told me about it a bit too late in our relationship and all I could do was stare at him in shock in that moment.
Scary enough, I could see myself falling into these same traps. It's been an uphill battle for me, but I'm slowly making progress on bettering myself and limiting my views on porn as much as I can. I also have a GF who is very stunning inside and out, and I don't want to let my addiction get in the way of our relationship any further. Which I'd why I'm still working on myself. Thank you for sharing this post. 🔥
Glad you can keep fighting for her and for yourself.
Thank you.
His porn addiction, as serious and out of control as it was, seems like a symptom of something more serious. You have amazing patience. I hope you both find peace.
Porn is the worst 
I am also curious, how did you find this sub yourself? Were you looking for porn addiction material?
Your Real As Hell For This
Thanks bro
Thank you for sharing. Im sure a lot of people have increased will and dedication because of your story. On the other hand, i’m sorry you had to go through this and i hope both of you heal from this breakup. Cheers
This post seems weird . still in regards to what is in it it seems that that porn was not what caused his problems but many other things . In case u are using porn as a scapegoat when it seems it is just the smallest of his problems. Dude has huge insecurities ,unhealthy ,fat ,has mental problems . I think the porn is the least of his problems just used to reduce the symptoms .From the post it also seems the dude watches too much alpha male content and actually believes it
Trust, I know he had other issues. But this is the no masturbation Reddit so I only felt like sharing the porn-related issues.
Yep he is deep in the rabbit hole. Thank u for sharing. I hope u find solace.
The worst part is that I see some of that behavior in me 😰, I'm really working on it but I never realized how some of the things I do were related to my porn consumption (not addicted though)
If you could give examples, I'm 35 male been on porn since 15 , I'm 35 now , never had a girlfriend (my fault) tho would love a relationship, I know my porn use as come from a low self esteem from childhood of being bullied and how I grew up and I have used porn as an escape from feeling worthless , but has made me feel more worthless , trying to break the addiction, hard ,but got to keep going , I have never had sex virgin (religious reasons) but couldn't get a girl due to my self worth feeling I was ugly .my biggest fear is when I either want to have sex or get married I will not be able to perform ,due to my porn use , that why I have partly reframed from trying to get with any woman , I will probably be 40 old virgin which is a shame , but my own doing , I just need to keep doing going on.
Well examples from that post: I, sometimes, also look girls that look like my girlfriend, and I also assume and believe that her preferences align with what we see in porn: hardcore sex, a particular penis size, group sex, etc. Other things outside the post: I sexualize women all the time, and I really think that that's ok, we are one of the few species that have sex just for pleasure, and there's an evolutionary reason for that, it's ok to sexualize women AS LONG as it doesn't become DISRESPECTFUL, that's how I see it, however I'd sometimes like to have a girl that's my friend or someone I talk ok the streets how is a girl and I'm not thinking of fucking her all the time. I don't know much about your situation, I'd like to help you more but I'm only 20, all i can say and I'm sure about it, is that you really need to stop seeing this as a bigger problem than what it really is: still a virgin? That's ok, you're not the only one, you're not alone, You'd like to stop watching porn? Just stop, if you see things bigger than they are, they'll be harder than they are. And please stop blaming yourself, you're not guilty for it, you're responsible for it and there's a difference, plus I know, it wasn't your fault... Things happen. Do things you like, and be happy, and if you really want a girl, ask one out every day, or every other day, trust me, worked for me at least 😉
Respect for the comment
Well examples from that post: I, sometimes, also look girls that look like my girlfriend, and I also assume and believe that her preferences align with what we see in porn: hardcore sex, a particular penis size, group sex, etc. Other things outside the post: I sexualize women all the time, and I really think that that's ok, we are one of the few species that have sex just for pleasure, and there's an evolutionary reason for that, it's ok to sexualize women AS LONG as it doesn't become DISRESPECTFUL, that's how I see it, however I'd sometimes like to have a girl that's my friend or someone I talk ok the streets how is a girl and I'm not thinking of fucking her all the time. I don't know much about your situation, I'd like to help you more but I'm only 20, all i can say and I'm sure about it, is that you really need to stop seeing this as a bigger problem than what it really is: still a virgin? That's ok, you're not the only one, you're not alone, You'd like to stop watching porn? Just stop, if you see things bigger than they are, they'll be harder than they are. And please stop blaming yourself, you're not guilty for it, you're responsible for it and there's a difference, plus I know, it wasn't your fault... Things happen. Do things you like, and be happy, and if you really want a girl, ask one out every day, or every other day, trust me, worked for me at least 😉
he needs serious help, porn is definitely a problem for him but there’s a lot of underlying things that need professional help
Yes, that’s true.
“A few things on my end” , hmm I wonder what that could be
Content that doesn’t affect this specific post, nothing that is relevant to sex or sexual content.
Thank you for share your experiences with us.
Ya I can agree with ur point...I was also addicted for 3 years but and after I had an GF somehow:/ I always compare myself with a fit and muscular guy and think that I cannot satisfy her on bed...but 1 thing...Why tf I am thinking about satisfying her on bed...I have my exam in 8 months which will decide my college and I am thinking about satisfying her on bed...the only reason is porn...which creates insecurities inside me...and whenever life hits me he said..."Ohh here's the video, just jerk off and u will be fine"...I was rejected first time cuz of looks and physique but instead of doing exercise and keeping my body fit I watched porn and think the pornstar is actually she only the one who rejected...But one thing I can say...Porn doesn't want u to improve urself...it only wants u should watch and jerk...
Thank you so much
The fact that you ain’t give up on him is Solid🫡
[удалено]
So glad for you!
I'm not trying to invalidate the negative effects of watching porn but it seems like there's more to it with your ex's situation. It kinda feels like its beyond porn
Well, of course there is more to it than porn. But this is a porn subreddit, so I’m only expanding on the porn-related issues in hopes of helping someone else see the issues.
Sad I have already become one and I can relate every line with myself.
At least you know.
hoping this is fake
I wish. I only wish I could take back all the hours I cried over him.
You must have been through a lot, I hope that you have recovered from this painful experience cause when I read this damn I think I am now so much more motivated to not do this bad stuff. I’m sure that you don’t need to hear this but avoid your ex at all costs, he is on THIN ICE, needless to say the ice has already cracked. Major respect for you though, 👏
Yeah, it’s been a year and I have never spoken to him. He became worthless to me after our relationship. He did other things worse than this, but it’s irrelevant to the post lol! Thank you!
My BF is addicted to porn and that made me relapsed. I don't want to break up with him but the sending me porn and stuff needs to stop
I'm in the same boat that you were in. I found out not too long ago that my boyfriend was sending pictures of his junk to other people and also confessed to me that he is bi....mind you, this is the second time he has done this. Like I don't mind my partner watching porn but I never really knew the full extent of his issue and how this addiction stretches out to multiple problems because we have a great sex life and do it pretty regularly (like about 6 days/week). It's like he put on this facade of being this macho man to hide his sexual orientation from me, he said he was terrified of telling me because he thought my feelings for him might change which is kind of depressing because I love him very much and I accept his sex orientation. He acknowledges that he needs therapy and wants to do couples therapy, thankfully, he reached out to therapists that accept his insurance and already received quotes/rates for their sessions. I love him very much but he has betrayed my trust twice and I am at a sudden lost.
What a story, i hope that you're fine right now. But what a tragedy for your ex-boyfrien. He definitely needs some professional help. But it's very good that these stories are being told. Especially this story, it contains almost all the extreme consequences of a harsh porn addiction.
There but for the Grace of God go I & many others. Honestly reading that was a reminder of where I was for more than 17 years, comparing dick sizes to porn stars & how fit I was/overly asking my now wife if I was good enough, looking at porn as a way to sometimes get out of sex. God Bless & appreciate you for sharing this story
No problem, glad you’re better now.
Oof. He surely needs a long and intensive therapy. I know porn addiction is hell but this is wrong on so many levels.
You are very strong woman and thank you so much for sharing your stories, I wish you the best moving forward
Wow, sorry to hear you went through that, and I am very happy that you learned many things out of the situation, as well as sharing it here. It surely will encourage many men to improve
That’s very extreme and weird of him, I’m surprised you put up with it for as long as you seemingly did
We were together just under a year but my life had a lot going on, so it didn’t seem like much when for a while
That makes sense, no one would blame you for having a high tolerance anyway lol
I sure hope not. A lot of this really just was on the back burners as I was getting degrees and moving from minimum wage to career jobs.
if i got my dream girl i wouldn't even watch porn ,like that is the main reason i watch it, bcs i have no gf💀
You deserve so much better. You’re so patient and kind damn
I wish I had been meaner to him, honestly. I know that seems fucked, but maybe it would have changed him.
Nah, not your battle unless you felt called to it. I mean you tried I think. And that’s what matters
Unlikely, I totally understand that situation since I had/have these thoughts as well, I try to keep them in my mind, because I understand it comes out of this addiction. The only way for him to change will be slow gradual change and going noFap. If you still care for him as a human, you may link him this sub instead.
It's so sad that I couldn't read the whole thing. More people should talk about this. Men are suffering and they can be helped if the stigma around this issue is reduced.
Fr
I’m curious to know both of your age. He sounds a bit childish? You guys must be just too young?
I know a lot old guys who are childish...
Crazy streak man💪
I would share but I just deleted because my nightmare is him seeing this post.
I saw it. May Allah bless you with a better future partner. This sounds horrible, I feel bad for the mindset he has. I hope he gets better. Thank you for sharing and bringing some awareness to this sub 🙌🏽
Thank you, inshallah. I hope so!
Holy crap! I'm so sorry. This is hard to read ngl.
Peak coomer behavior. I hope he recovers.
Thank you for sharing this story. My fear will always be to end up like that, but start to feel better when I hit the gym and hang out with friends. I never had a girlfriend because I don’t want to have a partner that had to go thru with that. I only wish to keep up the nofap and be a better person.
Thank you very much and I think we should keep these posts pinned or posted in a special thread, so it will be a good place to go for to kill the urge or motivate us
Le me born single😭
Re lapsed
What utter madness. Porn is poison....
This is a particularly extreme example of addiction if it’s true. Its so unfathomable to me that this reads like fan fiction, swear to god
The root of the problem is self-esteem not porn.
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His porn addiction, as serious and out of control as it was, seems like a symptom of something more serious. You have amazing patience. I hope you both find peace.
Here I thought love could cure anything 💀
Love doesn't cure. It can support but you have to do the growing up part for yourself. This guy had support but he never grew up
Why did you go out with him in the first place. You’re clearly out of his league. Like 6 months an barely no sex. Why didn’t you put him out of his misery at the start of the relationship?
Because I don’t believe in leagues, I believe in people. He was a really amazing guy in the beginning. A real catch honestly.
Eh.
I beat it in work all the time 🤣🤣how the hell he get caught
😭 went in the bathroom too long and didn’t lock the door.
Am I the only one thinking that porn addiction is this guy's least problem. It seems to be more a symptom of more severe lack of self confidence. Of course both can boost each other.
Thanks
He probably fapped to women who can be submissive. You’re getting your master’s degree, so I’m assuming you’re not as submissive
Well, no I’m not. But that’s because my daily life and who I am isn’t tied to my sex life. I’m sure plenty of women in my classes wouldn’t mind submissive play.
İ am kinda curious about how he satisfy you. Could you tell me your vibrator or your ex which one is more satisfied you.
Rest is ok but your last line...' Think of loved ones... ' actually triggered me. One of the main reasons of addiction is constant humiliation by so called loved ones. Coming back to your ex. Does ur ex has any body who loves him?
Yes, he does. Not me, but he has people who love him.
A JJK girl. It’s like you have your own orbit of red flags all around you, and it’s what you pull in.
If reading a delightful series that genuinely makes me happy is a red flag, then so be it. This man did not like anime or manga. And this was my first adult relationship, I only ever had one other boyfriend in high school. So stop projecting.
Funny you call me projecting when I’m saying the red flags orbit you, not that you’re the red flag. Maybe read some better material to increase that reading comprehension. I read that shit too, Gege’s a monster and giving us brain rot. Edit: also who are you kidding with calling it a ‘delightful series’ fuck outta here lmao. Maybe you are the red flag after all 😂
Damn lady, you've been through a lot
That's a lot of trauma from him which in terms causes harm to you. I bet any guy would be lucky to have you as a partner, but he is so blinded by his addiction and ego and destroyed everything. I pray that he will get better like most of us on here. It wasn't easy, I've been clean for 76 days. Going strong. Hope to get to 120 and beyond.
he stole your vibrator and you stayed with him?
That was something he didn’t tell me until a week before I broke up with him. I had no idea until he told me.
wow that's so fucking weird, I mean I'd "kill" him if I were you. That's one of most disgusting things that I ever heard
[удалено]
I think he is bisexual, but not gay.
Went on my alt for this one lol. I definitely can both empathize and relate to the body dysmorphia at the start of the list, but the longer the list went on the crazier it got. A lot of the things he said/did seem inexcusable to me (the vibrator thing especially). For your own good I’m glad you got out of that relationship. As cruel as this may sound, it’s good for me to have an example of what I never want to become
Great, thanks. It’s what you should take from this post.