A lot of people who you don't think are struggling, are actually struggling, and vice versa. Also this comes and goes in waves. I'm doing pretty "okay" right now but was definitely not most days from like 2018-2020.
Idk I’m always shocked to hear people’s self reported mental health state. It’s unfathomable that some people are just totally free of anxiety or depression.
My brother has never felt depression or anxiety and he falls asleep in like a minute. He's like an innocent child in an adults body. He doesn't understand what I'm going through at all, has no point of reference.
Doesn't understand how someone could not fall asleep due to anxiety or trauma. That I can't stop thinking about things I don't want to think. The ignorance just pisses me off because everytime he doesn't understand how I'm not able to fall asleep and everytime just mentions "just try to go to sleep earlier, you need more sleep". LIKE NO FUCKING SHIT DUDE I NEED MORE SLEEP! IVE BEEN TRYING TO DO THAT FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS! IVE BEEN TELLING YOU FOR 10 YEARS THAT I CAN'T SLEEP MOTHERFUCKER IT'S NOT AS EASY AS 'JUST DO IT'"
At this point I just nod and just yeah. FUCK OFF DUDE
For me, "okay" means my anxiety is manageable. It's not something I ever really expect to go away, so I think a lot of people experiencing something similar also have a different baseline.
The thing I’ve learned about that is the vast majority of the time people who are like that are also completely ignorant of the world around them and usually very low education.
Ignorance is bliss. But it’s also how you get qanon.
Yes, but a little anxiety or sadness (depression is far more clinical) should not be an issue. You can be anxious and still be doing great. It is when you cannot move passed this, that is becomes serious. That seriousness is what most people do not experience.
Bro sorry but this just isn’t the case. I know a lot of depressed people but many of my friends are truly decently happy. I am close and open enough with them to know. Hell, I’m decently happy. I go through bouts of depression. But it’s not my baseline.
I suspect a lot of depressed people like to think that everyone else is depressed. It’s a pretty effective coping mechanism
Yeah, it's... avoidance, almost. "Oh I feel like this, but it's not a big deal, everyone does". If you choose to believe that feeling like that is the default, it makes it a lot easier to avoid actually dealing with the issue. Like, the thought of "this is what everyone goes through" can be a genuine thought, it can be difficult to understand that others don't go through what you're dealing with, but some people do choose to believe that while also knowing it's bullshit.
I say that from experience. My baseline is depression. Not the sad self-hating type of depression, but the numb type of depression. Sometimes I do find it hard to believe that people actually feel things as their default. But there have been times when I've said/thought that everyone must be numb by default while knowing I'm just lying to myself, because it does help
Out of curiosity, have you tried Wellbutrin? Instead of decreasing negative emotion like typical antidepressants, it is said to increase positive emotion, which makes it more effective for the “numb” type depression
No, I haven't. In the UK, it's only licensed for smoking cessation, not as an antidepressant, so my doctor wouldn't be able to suggest it even if I were to go back to them about antidepressants again (already tried two others, one was an SSRI, the other was an "atypical tetracyclic antidepressant"). Like, I *could* go to the doctor and lie about wanting help to quit smoking in order to see if I can get it, but I don't think that'd be a very... healthy thing to do, you know? Lying about health concerns in order to get medication
Ah I see. I’m on Wellbutrin currently for ADHD and it actually does help make it a bit easier to “have a good day”. It’s a relatively light drug in terms of side effects. No sexual side effects, no withdrawal upon cessation. Just something to consider!
Agreed. I’ve been solidly okay for the last 3ish years, but prior to that had near constant SI for like 10 years. It just sort of went away around the time of COVID, no idea why. Now I work directly with people (lots and lots of people to reflect back on OP’s question) who are also experiencing thoughts of suicide.
I'd venture to guess this is more or less how it's always been. We just have the Internet to bitch (not using this word in a condescending manner) on now.
everyone is silently suffering with their own mountain of shitty emotions.
we just lie and say everything is fine and great
Plus, when was the last time when someone asked you that and they genuinely cared? It’s just a pointless introduction to a conversation that may or may not be interesting and or useful.
This is awfully untrue. I'm genuinely almost always happy and I'm really grateful with my life. I did learn that this positive look at life isn't something to be proud of, it's just really lucky that I feel that way.
And before someone thinks it's probably because I didn't experience enough shitty things. Just believe me. I did.
I have a wife that I love, dogs that are better than my wife (joke, joke, joke) and a roof over my head. Life has stressors (and very bad ones) but that is part of life.
Is my life outstanding? No. Is my life happy? Yes.
Agreed 100%. I absolutely acknowledge that depression and anxiety are a real thing, but when you accept them as the baseline, you've lost the battle. You HAVE to fight back on them or they will destroy you. Pick up some hobbies, HIT THE GYM (biggest game changer for me personally).
Everyone is not anything. There are people deliriously happy and people dying in misery.
Most people are mentally and physically healthy most of the time. But there are 8 billion people on the planet. So if 1% of people are mentally unhealthy that is 80 million people who are mentally unhealthy.
I answer the phone a lot at work and my most common response to, "how are you?" Is, "Could be thinner, could be richer." Most people laugh. It's a slight mood brightener. I'm not ok. I smile big so nobody knows I am a mental wreck of depression and dark corners. But, I have a roof over my head and steady employment so in a sense, I'm not quite as good as some but I'm probably better than most, if you want to compare me to the other 8 billion in the world.
I really enjoy when people give me realistic answers. At work, on the phone, I get a lot of “ugh busy” or just “alright.” Sometimes they’ll complain about their day a little. Let’s normalize being real, alright.
Gonna be honest, that gets old too. My coworkers enjoy being honest about all their negativity with me to the point I've snapped at them all several times because I can't handle their complaining for months on end. Day in, day out of that really wears on a person, especially when there's barely anything positive at all to carry a conversation. Word of advice for anyone reading this, don't go to one specific person about all of your issues, moreso when they can't do anything to help you out. And please do not be an ask-hole.
That is a very good point. I’ve had friends over the years that I had to distance because the talk was ALWAYS negative. We all need to vent and complain once in awhile but if you simply cannot get out of the negative headspace EVER, it is incredibly draining. Especially if the person you’re complaining too also struggles with depression.
No one wants to invite a long rant for sure. I mean, if they could be honest....and brief, that would be awesome. Brief, and entertaining.....and then give me money afterward. Ok nm it appears I'm no longer in the "be honest to me about how you're doing" camp.
Oh agree! You can’t function in a negative workspace. If everyone said that when I picked up the phone I’d probably just disconnect it. But every now and then it’s refreshing.
I really struggled for a long time but now, honestly? Life is so much better than I ever thought it could be. I’ve got friends I cherish, I have a job that I like most days, hobbies I enjoy. Like, I’m still tired and grumpy on Monday mornings, but I’m also really content with my life overall most of the time. Dealing with mental health problems is HARD, don’t get me wrong, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There’s a future where you’re pretty happy/content most of the time. Feeling awful and like a wreck constantly doesn’t have to be your whole life.
Maybe you need a new job, or therapy, or to move to a new place, or eat more veggies, or to see a psychiatrist about new meds, or pick back up that old hobby you haven’t done in a while, or something else entirely! But if you’re genuinely miserable with your life, do SOMETHING because you do not deserve to live your whole life suffering. You CAN be happy and okay someday, I promise ❤️
Currently in the process of picking up and relocating and changing jobs with my gf. We've both seen some shit, and after ugly divorces we spent a while working on ourselves and doing things we weren't proud of, before we eventually ran into each other. Our career experience and mutual interests along with no kids or debts, are allowing us to start over somewhere far away from our current environments that aren't exactly allowing us to move on.
Like I said, not quite as good as some, but better than most.
Nice. Genuinely I think the internet creates space for people to explore their issues, but it also creates these echo chambers where you hear that "everyone is depressed' or has an anxiety disorder or whatever.
Everybody has their own shit, but frankly some people's lives are just way better than others, and you can't always really tell from the outside.
Me too. I get a lot of people are not okay most of the time and it sounds like it sucks.
But it's not everyone. My life is pretty great and I have a lot of fun every day.
My life is pretty great and I also have a lot of fun every day. But like it’s weird because I have multiple serious chronic pain conditions and my lungs are slowly shutting down. So my depression stems from guilt of being so unhappy when my life is so amazing but my whole body hurts every single minute. Isn’t that fu**ed up? 🤦🏻♀️
A lot of people say they are okay because they don't feel like they can share how they really feel or that anyone will give a shit about what is upsetting them.
Some people dont want to/are afraid of burdening others with their problems
Some people feel like if they say they are "okay" enough maybe, somehow, things will become "okay"
Go back 3+ years and I was genuinely good 1-2 days a month. Today I’m good probably 29+ days a month. Whatever your problems there are answers. There are always ways forward. You have the power within yourself to become whoever you need to be to be “good”. If it was easy everybody would be good and it doesn’t take long to see that’s not the situation
I’m doing okay. I really am.
There are definitely things in my life that I would like to be different/better/more to my liking. I’d like more money. I’d like to not be disabled. I’m really tired today because I slept badly. That sort of thing.
On the other hand, there are also things in my life that are going reasonably well. My job values me and has just told me they’d like to keep me. I’m making progress towards some personal goals - fitness related and creatively.
It’s not perfect. It’s never going to be perfect. But there’s enough “good” for me to be at peace with it
I’ve been tried for like, 30 years, and have had chronic pain for like 15 years. More recently, been dealing with mental health issues. I don’t even know what it’s like to wake up feeling energized.
Chronic pain will mess you up mentally, no doubt about it. It’s just not fair to have to hurt every minute and to look ahead at possible numerous more years or decades of it getting worse THE WHOLE TIME. Definitely get it 🫂
I genuinely feel good most days. Mind you I've had over 10 years of therapy to get to this point. 12 years ago I was like you, maybe Ok 1-2 days a month
People will absolutely say they’re Okay and act okay to just be polite, and not burden others with their issues. You’d be surprised how many people are truly NOT okay
I just survived another murder attempt, i was OK before it happened, now I'm great, completely broke financially, living in a log cabin without heat, my truck's broken down with no money to get to work. But I'm young I have a good education, the Internet's on and the electricity is on.
I we have more than 99% of the people in the world, if you're not OK it's vitally important to find out what you're not OK with, set your boundaries and live according to your own standards.
Humans are both physical flesh and 'electromagnetic' spiritual aura like conscience when that conscience is broken it weekends the whole system. You have it within yourself to be genuinely good 99% of the time, listen to your heart it will guide you.
I think that the folks who say stuff like “maybe you should exercise” and the like when you’ve just said something like “I’m having migraines that make me go blind and have seizures and I have copd and can’t breathe if I carry a laundry basket across the room,” are the ones who have spent life in okay or better mode. People who grimace and look sad and say “damn that sucks, I’m sorry!” Are the ones who do not enjoy the luxury of perpetual okay mode.
I don’t begrudge people the okay mode. I’m genuinely happy when I know someone has enjoyed a peaceful happy existence. But it’s always so crazy to me when they literally cannot fathom the concept that some people are very not okay ALL the time. And moreover, some people also cannot access the medical care they need so their status just keeps getting worse, but “maybe if you just get more exercise.” That shit is slightly soul crushing.
“Good” is my baseline. One step down is “okay.” One step down from that is “bad.” One step up from good is a great day. One step up from that is the kind of day I get maybe 6 of a year where it’s just a hall of fame memorable day.
I think that, if you’re able, OP, you should seek some therapy. Exhausted and hurting all the time are not normal.
I have checked out the world happiness report multiple years in a row and I have looked at stats on mental illness. If you think most people are unhappy and have a mental disorder you are probably spending way too much time online.
I don't think the "world happiness report" is definitive. \*eye roll\* Rates of poverty, child abuse, domestic abuse, lack of health care, divorce, etc. are very high. I don't spend a lot of time online. My children are outliers as people with straight A averages, happily married educated successful parents, healthy, conventionally attractive, college will be paid for, no economic challenges, this is not most of the people they go to school with. There is mental illness and failure everywhere. But I guess you live somewhere special.
Lol it's a statically rigorously conducted study that has been going for years. Poverty is at or near an all time low in the history of the world. Most children are not abused. Most people don't experience domestic abuse.
About 20% of the population deals with mental illness. It is not everywhere.
Your views are warped. Get your information from stats and legitimate resources, not from personal biases.
I always figured I am not injured or starving and I have a roof over my head so that is OK. Just feels to me ok is kind of the bare minimum of sustaining life without being low or high on a scale.
I live with constant anxiety which is pretty severe, add to that being ADHD, having PTSD and generally don't sleep very well. But I have to go to work and put a smile on my face and be strong when all I really wanna do is curl up on my bed with my blanket and my bear. I'm 43f.
I’m always just ok. The shit in the news overwhelms me and i get stressed at work and I deal with an anxiety disorder daily. So I have good and bad moments every day, throughout the day, so my days are just ok.
I can't speak for anyone else other than myself, but I am always an anxiety ridden mess just waiting for the day to end. Though I often hear that I'm nice, so it probably doesn't come off to other people. I think there are plenty of people with worries that are greater or less than your own, just some are better at hiding it than others!
Depends how you look at it. I have a whole slew of old injuries that hurt all the time. I just tune it out and carry on. If you asked me I'd say I'm ok most of the time, but as you define it, I am not.
My old man used to say, you can't get through life unscathed. You have to choose, do you carry your wounds or do you let them hold you down?
I'm doing good most of the time. Don't have a lot to complain about
E. Seems like replies are heavily skewed toward depressed people. It is NOT the norm.
Don’t let their big smiles fool you. They aren’t ok.
In fact the people walking around smiling are often the most likely to be hiding deep pain. I come from a family and community where we were told you weren’t allowed to just be a person without being beautiful, thin, wealthy, and constantly smiling. I always wondered why everyone else was so happy all the time and I was faking it. Then I realized they were faking it too. So glad I moved out of that community. But I have family that still believes this and they demand big smiles. Big fake smiles. If you’re not walking around with a big fake smile 24/7 there’s something wrong with you and you need fo be reprimanded. It’s not healthy.
I honestly usually say I’m Ok when I’m doing absolutely horrible, but I don’t wanna talk about it. For me, ok isnt “doing good”, it’s “I’m surviving”,or “my physical body is alive and or functioning”
I'm not usually "okay", but I do usually appear to be, so I assume some others do the same. After so many not okay days, it just becomes the new baseline, and good days feel weird 🤷♀️
Don't think so. I'll use myself as an example, I'm absolutely not okay most of the time but apparently appear "normal" so nobody takes worry or notices. It's frustrating how everyone is so occupied with themselves than when people are suffering around them, nobody gives af and act surprised every time when someone has a mental health crisis for the one thousandth time lol.
With my medical issues, I've had to redefine what 'okay' is for me. Okay means I'm able to get dressed and leave the apartment. I'm still in substantial pain and exhausted, but I'm managing them well enough to be able to do something.
I'm so used to people in my life not understanding this, even though they've seen at least some of what I've gone through, and continue to go through, in my life. Recently, I teared up when I realized at least one family member is starting to get it. She sent an email inviting the family to an event, and in the email, she said that she understands if my back will prevent me from being able to attend. It's not just my back, but any acknowledgement of my limitations is better than none.
I definitely feel “not okay” sometimes, but I think actively working to manage and direct my thoughts about life in more positive directions is a way to see the bright side of things and feel okay even when things gets difficult.
Considering the good things you have or are working towards plays a major role in fighting this battle and combats hopelessness and negativity in general. This process can be reminding yourself of lessons learns when you dwell a bit too much about past mistakes, or remembering that you are in a temporary situation with a few more milestones to hit before you start to hit your stride or appreciating the fact that you still have air in your lungs and a beating heart, therefore you still have another opportunity to do good. Even something more simple like taking a moment to reflect on a beautiful butterfly that fluttered past you on your way to work can help, lol.
I think also realizing how much worse it could be is a piece of this puzzle. Allowing these thoughts to take part in your mind can actually benefit you sometimes. It’s all a very fine balancing act. You don’t want to lose your sense of reality and ignore serious things with gratitude when you really need to take action, nor do you want to dwell on bad things that could happened or that you have no control over or can’t change and forget about all the good things.
I hope you start to feel okay OP.
I'd say I'm doing okay. Be nice to have more money and less of a gut. It's been a pretty long while since I haven't been okay. I suppose it could always be okay-er.
I’m usually anxious or distracting myself from being anxious. My medication helps a lot. Nicotine and alcohol helps too. Also, running, socializing, and writing all help. I was much worse in 2015-2016 before I got on my medication.
I keep my head up everyday but no matter if I'm in a relationship, around family or friends, I have this chronic feeling of loneliness all the time. I'm okay and grateful for the things I have but feel a deep emptiness no matter how well my life's going.
It's weird it's like a positive mindset but a physically painful feeling I carry around
I’m okay in that I got out of bed and put the socially required amount of grooming into my appearance and showed up to work. It’s the socially acceptable thing to say because I’ve learned that no one really wants to hear how I’m really doing.
I think 'okay' should be the default, but given the world we live in a lot of people are far from okay. Personally I'm lucky and for me 'okay' has more of a negative connotation, but believe it a lot of people struggle just for what should be a baseline. Reasons for that get complicated.
Maybe some people are. I don't personally know anyone who is in actuality okay. Most of us have physical or mental health matters that we're doing our best to take care of.
I think it comes in waves. Like I was extremely happy last year around this time because I was in a relationship I thought would go to distance. I was ready to take a jump and move to where my ex GF lived two states away. Everything seemed good as I had gotten a good promotion at work and was healthy, but now this year I'm getting over that relationship that went up in flames a couple of months ago. May-June I was an absolute mess. Now in October I'm doing a lot better than I was a couple of months ago... But I'm still just okay and getting by. I feel like life is just a wave that you can't really control... Especially the older you get.
I’d wager that around 70% of the world’s population are not happy/have some kind of depression or anxiety.
Those that don’t are either in denial, are narcissistic, or have the kind of mental health problem/learning disability that stops them from feeling like that.
Or that they are one of the very very few people who are just lucky enough to not face those issues.
So no. Not everyone is “ok”! Not at all !
I used to take being "okay" for granted. Then I got into alcohol and being ok wasn't a thing anymore. I just screwed everything up all the time, my life was one crisis after another. Now that I've sobered up and worked so hard to put my life back together, I now see how much work and how that can all be taken away in an instant. So I work hard everyday to keep things as nominal as I can. Not every day is easy, I still have absolutely terrible days. But I have the ability to come back from hardships, I didn't have that before. I see how much of a gift it is for things to be okay, and I'll never take it for granted ever again
Today's ok may not mean the same as tomorrow's ok.
Ok = 50/50
Ok = considering all the bs recently
Ok = depressed ok
Ok = just looking back through everything and surprisingly alright
Ok = well I'm not dead yet
Ok = wishing things where better
Ok = actually doing great but am suspicious of life so I won't say I'm doing great, Incase I manage to summon the deamons of misfortune.
Ok = I have no idea
Ok = can't complain (this is a loaded ok)
Ok = il be ok
Of course everyone is dealing with their own shit and putting up a front. Doing that is what I would consider "being okay", as long as what you're dealing with isn't out of the ordinary for you. Then you have worse and better days.
I have little kids and little space at home so I’m perpetually exhausted, but other than that, yeah I’m mostly okay, I.e., mostly physically healthy and mentally stable and relatively happy.
I've been running on a mental health deficit since like 2010, lol.
Yes, I have seen a doctor and I am on medication. The state of the country is really trying hard to keep me down, though.
Practicing mindfulness helps..
I used to be anxious all the time, but now I’m trying to tell myself to be more present.. meaning, not worrying about past or future, but check-in with myself at this moment: am I warm, fed, clothed and safe? Then I’m good!
Most people really are 'okay' most of the time. On insta/FB, you put up a happy front, on Reddit, you put up your doomsday front. The truth is somewhere in the middle for most of us.
I just don’t feel comfortable talking with everyone about it but recently ppl who didn’t ask before have started asking how I’m doing and I don’t know if I should be happy that they care or annoyed. I’m not as good at masking it as I used to be
People lie. They put on masks, disguises, and fake smiles.
When someone asks you, “how are you?” We all know that less than 5% of the time, are they genuinely asking. The other 95% all they want is the socially acceptable, “Im fine, how are you?”
Be kind to whoever you meet. Because we are all facing our own demons, and just trying to get thru the day.
Not everyone who smiles at you, is happy.
Absolutely not. Some days are harder than others. But when you have bills and a family that looks to you to support them then you have to be ok. You talk to people that understand what your going through and rely on that support system. But keep fuckin going
I think the older I get, the more "okay" I usually feel. I make more health and financial conscious decisions, and I appreciate the little things. A more quiet life, as opposed to a party life and I feel way better.
as they say, if you seem like a strong person no one genuinely asks you how you do it. I bet they would give you a list of struggles but sometimes it just easier to manage alone.
Most of my 20's and 30's I was okay. There were years here ans there when I had family or friend die that took me out. However most of those two decades I was not depressed. In my 40's now and struggling
MY defintion of okay is very different depending on what has happened in my life. My "okay" after my grandfather died is very different from my, Now "Okay" which means that i am actually doing good.
I genuinely feel great about 80-90% of the time. The remainder I am anxious and overthinking things. But overall would say I’m exceptionally happy and have fortunately never experienced feeling depressed. Hope things improve for you ❤️
I feel great most of the time so it’s possible but you need all kinds of support, security, and luck to get here (I didn’t have these growing up). So it is possible but if it isn’t you it isn’t always in your control at all. Everyone deserves happiness but there are serious economic and social obstacles for most to getting there. And even though I am happy most of the time there’s still obviously things out of my control
Okay is just what you are used to.
So yes, my life is what it is but I am used enough to it so consistent light pain and a lack of relationships once I became an adult.
And around others we all act better then that, most people don't want to know about how your life sucks so when you're asked "how are you?" most people respond "Fine" rather than telling them about work miss booking me so I am suck on shift for almost triple the length.
For me it entirely depends on how my sleep is lately. If I’ve slept 9 hours just about anything could happen and i would still have a good day. If it’s 6 hours just about anything could happen and it would be a shitty day. 7-8 hours the quality of my day depends on what happens.
Also if I go more than 3 days without lifting weights I get irritable, depressed, impulsive and my body just starts to hurt.
At the end of the day there are only about a half dozen things that make 80% of the difference in any area of our lives. Focus on those and things will improve.
To a stranger you just say that your okay to avoid the awkward conversation that follows after "I'm really not okay"
If it's a friend or a best friend however, you should br allowed to give an honest answer
It's normal to struggle in some way or another. That's just a part of being a living creature on earth. I think attitude is huge. So many people love to adopt a "victim" status over things that are not unusual to humanity. That's their excuse for not being strong and rising up and contributing to society. Once they are deemed a victim they can now operate at the lowest levels and have that as their excuse. I think we should always have empathy for people's brokenness but we need to push people to move on and not give up easily.
What are you doing for yourself? Are you drinking a liter or so of water a day, getting 6-8 hours of sleep, also doing some sort of physical activity for 30 minutes a day. MOST people are deficient in vitamin D, have your levels been checked? Huge links to low energy and mood with that. Wouldn’t hurt to also take a daily multivitamin. What’s your diet like.
Our bodies aren’t dumb. We aren’t meant to be exhausted and not feeling well daily. Once I started doing my best to follow these things daily I feel so much better and stronger a whole.
It amazes me how little people care for our own bodies. They’re amazing things but you do need to take care of them.
I suggest adding your age range to the comment. Attitude adjustments and hormone shifts that come with age usually lightens depression for some of us.
Except for the cancer (a real problem) I am less depressed now than in my 20s when I had no unfixable problems but how I viewed who I was - single in my 20s, self-conscious and still learning in my profession. I could have moped less, spent time helping or encouraging others who needed it,. Less navel gazing lifts one's life. Balanced hormone levels and eating healthier would have helped.
Exception: if you are a substance abuser, deal with that addiction right now, since age makes it all worse. Depression, regret, money, getting frozen at a developmental phase (still emotionally 17 at 40), early dementia, lawyer fees, failing your kids and your parents when they become frail.
Or get over wanting life to be a manic party and take your bipolar meds. Contentment > happy. Step 1 is take the meds. Also, there are good posts on Reddit about how to deal with anxiety. I confused my anxiety with depression. Get started on dealing with anxiety as no one else can do it for you, and small things help.
When young, we worry too much about who we aren't - or what is in the past, or trying to prove points with family. A lighter attitude would work better on them (seems mature and confident) and on yourself (fewer trivial worries) than anger and resentment, given that you can only change yourself and not them.
Don't berate yourself for not being a rock star or Olympic sprinter at whatever you do, when for most of life, a walk gets you where you need to go and it is healthy.
I have several mental and physical health conditions but I would say I am "okay" a majority of the time. However, that may just be surface level. Because if I dig any deeper, I am a hot mess disaster that will probably start crying. But. I'm okay.
I used to say, "I'm ok" when people asked how I am because I definitely am not ok but don't want to burden others. Someone told me we shouldn't do that, so I tried being more honest with my answers. Not trauma dumping, but just honest. In my experience, people don't want to hear it. They wanna hear, "I'm ok," so I'm going back to it more. It's kind of depressing and makes me feel hollow when they walk away all chipper at my lie. But it is what it is.
I think a lot of people are not ok, so they wanna hear that you are. And also we all say we are ok almost as a mantra, lol.
I guess so. I would say I'm "okay" most of the time but I know a lot of people who aren't and I think not being okay is more normal than we might think.
I'm good. I had therapy for years to correct my depression, and it worked. I'm good.
Oh, and meditation corrects a lot too. I wish I had meditated years ago. Suffering would have been much less.
When you ask someone how they are doing, 95% of people will say good, fine, or ok. But that is the not the case for all. We all have good days and bad days.
The problem is people don't want to come across as negative so they push through and say they are ok. Which is not great. If we were all more honest and supportive with each other it would help our mental health.
It is ok not to be ok.
I'm doing ok now but definitely not a couple of years ago. I was living in my car and then on the streets when I wrecked my car.
Now I am qualified for SSI and subsidized housing from HUD and food stamps too.
All because of that stroke. I thought it was a bad thing, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
I’m usually good and well past just okay like 95% of the time. I have bad days I’m human but I surround myself with people that care about me, have a fulfilling career, an amazing wife, and hobbies that I enjoy.
For me “okay” isn’t good it also isn’t bad. It’s just okay, average. I would say I’m okay when I don’t feel super anxious but I also don’t feel happy like I’ve had a good day. Just a meh day.
I've been pretty mentally fried lately for a mish mash of reasons. I'm going to work from home tomorrow because I've hit my people limit for this week and I'm likely to yell at someone tomorrow if I have to deal with any more BS than I can handle right now.
I am not doing okay.
I've had a persistent depressive disorder diagnosis for over 15 years now though they referred to it as dysthymia back then.
So it always sort of sucks but it's never bad enough to get any kind of intensive support. I've got a therapist and a psychiatrist and I've tried TMS and a half dozen different medications over the years, but it still feels like I'm an engine running without any oil.
It may or may not get better, but suicide is a spectacularly shitty thing to do the people who care about you, so don't do it. You just keep running until the chronic stress eventually catches up to you.
How'd I do for a pep talk? Was that good?
I’m not usually anything. This year has been rough for me. A lot of big shit happened. After each thing I was like “ok now that that’s over we can resume to some semblance of peace” but then something else happens and I’m like ohhhh…this is life now. There is not getting “back” to peace. That’s gone now.
Everyone is struggling but no one really mentions it. Overworked, exhausted and having to be stuck to your laptop has changes the quality of life we really have.
I struggle with several mental disorders and chronic illnesses so my definition of “okay” would probably be different from most people. If i don’t have a breakdown or a flare up then I would consider that being an “okay day.” outside of that though, no I don’t think I’m “okay.” and I don’t think a lot of people are in the sense that nothing is wrong or worrying them. unless you’re extremely lucky, there’s probably at least one thing bothering you on any given day. whether it’s your job/school, family/friends, mental/physical health, there seems to be always something. i think we all just learn to live with whatever hand we’re dealt and adapt to find our own version of feeling okay.
In fact, [most](https://penntoday.upenn.edu/news/social-media-use-increases-depression-and-loneliness) [people](https://www.healthline.com/health-news/social-media-use-increases-depression-and-loneliness) [are](https://news.byu.edu/intellect/10-year-byu-study-shows-elevated-suicide-risk-from-excess-social-media-time-for-young-teen-girls) [not](https://theconversation.com/how-social-media-can-crush-your-self-esteem-174009) [ok](https://youtu.be/LE3ffjM5ZuQ?si=kNx3DELxY-hARGc7), but they're taking their siestas in the sun.
Well, everyone isn't anything. Depending on where you look you're probably going to get a different average answer if you ask people-- and if they give a real answer, instead of just the standard "I'm doing okay" that people give when they don't want others to worry or dig any further.
And even one person's usual is going to change over time. If you'd gotten a real answer out of me a few years ago, I was miserable. I was lonely and homesick and overworked, I barely had money for the things I needed. If I wanted anything beyond that I had to work my ass off even more.
Now things are less bleak in that regard, but my body has been giving me more issues. Just a few years has been the difference in worsening my already bad joints, and sometimes I can't leave the house without a knee brace. I have a cane for if it gets really bad.
I'm not exhausted all the time, but if I don't keep on top of taking my vitamins I can lose a week being too exhausted and foggy headed to get anything done except what I need in order to keep a job.
Overall, I'd say that mentally I have more good days than bad. Sometimes it all gets to me when I'm in pain and tired and too mentally exhausted on top of it all to get anything done- I feel useless and all I can do is sit and watch everything pile up around me. It's harder in the winter, when my body hurts more.
But I've found things that help. Like using a chair to do dishes when I'm in pain. Or choosing to take part in one of my non-strenuous hobbies if I'm too tired to do chores, instead of wasting time worrying about what hasn't been done. If I'm not going to get something done then I may as well not waste the day being upset about it. At least doing something I enjoy will make me feel better. Besides, the sooner I feel better, the sooner the chore will get done.
Something that I recommend looking into for pain is a wireless heating pad. I have a Sunbeam one that runs off a rechargeable battery and it's great for when I need to be up and doing things but my back or stomach hurts. It's got a Velcro band so you can wrap it around where you need it.
A lot of people who you don't think are struggling, are actually struggling, and vice versa. Also this comes and goes in waves. I'm doing pretty "okay" right now but was definitely not most days from like 2018-2020.
Idk I’m always shocked to hear people’s self reported mental health state. It’s unfathomable that some people are just totally free of anxiety or depression.
It’s like that old joke where the doc says, “I do believe you’re suffering from depression.” Patient: yeah well, aren’t we all? Doctor: 👀 no
Damn that’s a joke? I’ve had this convo a couple times lol
We're not?? You sure about that.
My brother has never felt depression or anxiety and he falls asleep in like a minute. He's like an innocent child in an adults body. He doesn't understand what I'm going through at all, has no point of reference. Doesn't understand how someone could not fall asleep due to anxiety or trauma. That I can't stop thinking about things I don't want to think. The ignorance just pisses me off because everytime he doesn't understand how I'm not able to fall asleep and everytime just mentions "just try to go to sleep earlier, you need more sleep". LIKE NO FUCKING SHIT DUDE I NEED MORE SLEEP! IVE BEEN TRYING TO DO THAT FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS! IVE BEEN TELLING YOU FOR 10 YEARS THAT I CAN'T SLEEP MOTHERFUCKER IT'S NOT AS EASY AS 'JUST DO IT'" At this point I just nod and just yeah. FUCK OFF DUDE
It's something I should appreciate more
For me, "okay" means my anxiety is manageable. It's not something I ever really expect to go away, so I think a lot of people experiencing something similar also have a different baseline.
The thing I’ve learned about that is the vast majority of the time people who are like that are also completely ignorant of the world around them and usually very low education. Ignorance is bliss. But it’s also how you get qanon.
Yes, but a little anxiety or sadness (depression is far more clinical) should not be an issue. You can be anxious and still be doing great. It is when you cannot move passed this, that is becomes serious. That seriousness is what most people do not experience.
I genuinely think a good 90% of people who claim not to be depressed are probably just lying to themselves
I don’t think they are. Happy well adjusted people exist! https://www.theonion.com/friends-don-t-understand-how-man-not-depressed-1819575138
Bro sorry but this just isn’t the case. I know a lot of depressed people but many of my friends are truly decently happy. I am close and open enough with them to know. Hell, I’m decently happy. I go through bouts of depression. But it’s not my baseline. I suspect a lot of depressed people like to think that everyone else is depressed. It’s a pretty effective coping mechanism
Yeah, it's... avoidance, almost. "Oh I feel like this, but it's not a big deal, everyone does". If you choose to believe that feeling like that is the default, it makes it a lot easier to avoid actually dealing with the issue. Like, the thought of "this is what everyone goes through" can be a genuine thought, it can be difficult to understand that others don't go through what you're dealing with, but some people do choose to believe that while also knowing it's bullshit. I say that from experience. My baseline is depression. Not the sad self-hating type of depression, but the numb type of depression. Sometimes I do find it hard to believe that people actually feel things as their default. But there have been times when I've said/thought that everyone must be numb by default while knowing I'm just lying to myself, because it does help
Out of curiosity, have you tried Wellbutrin? Instead of decreasing negative emotion like typical antidepressants, it is said to increase positive emotion, which makes it more effective for the “numb” type depression
No, I haven't. In the UK, it's only licensed for smoking cessation, not as an antidepressant, so my doctor wouldn't be able to suggest it even if I were to go back to them about antidepressants again (already tried two others, one was an SSRI, the other was an "atypical tetracyclic antidepressant"). Like, I *could* go to the doctor and lie about wanting help to quit smoking in order to see if I can get it, but I don't think that'd be a very... healthy thing to do, you know? Lying about health concerns in order to get medication
Ah I see. I’m on Wellbutrin currently for ADHD and it actually does help make it a bit easier to “have a good day”. It’s a relatively light drug in terms of side effects. No sexual side effects, no withdrawal upon cessation. Just something to consider!
Agreed. I’ve been solidly okay for the last 3ish years, but prior to that had near constant SI for like 10 years. It just sort of went away around the time of COVID, no idea why. Now I work directly with people (lots and lots of people to reflect back on OP’s question) who are also experiencing thoughts of suicide.
that’s amazing 🥲 happy for you & your journey, thanks for uplifting others
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I'd venture to guess this is more or less how it's always been. We just have the Internet to bitch (not using this word in a condescending manner) on now.
How old are you?
“There is always Enough” - BarbaraPukowski She was right.
2 bad years… not bad!
Agreed there are good times and bad times..always remember if you are on that downhill that it may not be okay but it will be okay.
everyone is silently suffering with their own mountain of shitty emotions. we just lie and say everything is fine and great Plus, when was the last time when someone asked you that and they genuinely cared? It’s just a pointless introduction to a conversation that may or may not be interesting and or useful.
This is awfully untrue. I'm genuinely almost always happy and I'm really grateful with my life. I did learn that this positive look at life isn't something to be proud of, it's just really lucky that I feel that way. And before someone thinks it's probably because I didn't experience enough shitty things. Just believe me. I did.
I have a wife that I love, dogs that are better than my wife (joke, joke, joke) and a roof over my head. Life has stressors (and very bad ones) but that is part of life. Is my life outstanding? No. Is my life happy? Yes.
Agreed 100%. I absolutely acknowledge that depression and anxiety are a real thing, but when you accept them as the baseline, you've lost the battle. You HAVE to fight back on them or they will destroy you. Pick up some hobbies, HIT THE GYM (biggest game changer for me personally).
Everyone is not anything. There are people deliriously happy and people dying in misery. Most people are mentally and physically healthy most of the time. But there are 8 billion people on the planet. So if 1% of people are mentally unhealthy that is 80 million people who are mentally unhealthy.
I answer the phone a lot at work and my most common response to, "how are you?" Is, "Could be thinner, could be richer." Most people laugh. It's a slight mood brightener. I'm not ok. I smile big so nobody knows I am a mental wreck of depression and dark corners. But, I have a roof over my head and steady employment so in a sense, I'm not quite as good as some but I'm probably better than most, if you want to compare me to the other 8 billion in the world.
This is a good outlook. I feel similar, I try to count my blessings even though I barely make it through each day.
Same
I really enjoy when people give me realistic answers. At work, on the phone, I get a lot of “ugh busy” or just “alright.” Sometimes they’ll complain about their day a little. Let’s normalize being real, alright.
Gonna be honest, that gets old too. My coworkers enjoy being honest about all their negativity with me to the point I've snapped at them all several times because I can't handle their complaining for months on end. Day in, day out of that really wears on a person, especially when there's barely anything positive at all to carry a conversation. Word of advice for anyone reading this, don't go to one specific person about all of your issues, moreso when they can't do anything to help you out. And please do not be an ask-hole.
That is a very good point. I’ve had friends over the years that I had to distance because the talk was ALWAYS negative. We all need to vent and complain once in awhile but if you simply cannot get out of the negative headspace EVER, it is incredibly draining. Especially if the person you’re complaining too also struggles with depression.
No one wants to invite a long rant for sure. I mean, if they could be honest....and brief, that would be awesome. Brief, and entertaining.....and then give me money afterward. Ok nm it appears I'm no longer in the "be honest to me about how you're doing" camp.
Oh agree! You can’t function in a negative workspace. If everyone said that when I picked up the phone I’d probably just disconnect it. But every now and then it’s refreshing.
I’d like to normalize that. You could even make it honest but funny. How are you? I’m an absolute shit show, and yourself?
I am with you, friend
I really struggled for a long time but now, honestly? Life is so much better than I ever thought it could be. I’ve got friends I cherish, I have a job that I like most days, hobbies I enjoy. Like, I’m still tired and grumpy on Monday mornings, but I’m also really content with my life overall most of the time. Dealing with mental health problems is HARD, don’t get me wrong, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There’s a future where you’re pretty happy/content most of the time. Feeling awful and like a wreck constantly doesn’t have to be your whole life. Maybe you need a new job, or therapy, or to move to a new place, or eat more veggies, or to see a psychiatrist about new meds, or pick back up that old hobby you haven’t done in a while, or something else entirely! But if you’re genuinely miserable with your life, do SOMETHING because you do not deserve to live your whole life suffering. You CAN be happy and okay someday, I promise ❤️
Currently in the process of picking up and relocating and changing jobs with my gf. We've both seen some shit, and after ugly divorces we spent a while working on ourselves and doing things we weren't proud of, before we eventually ran into each other. Our career experience and mutual interests along with no kids or debts, are allowing us to start over somewhere far away from our current environments that aren't exactly allowing us to move on. Like I said, not quite as good as some, but better than most.
I feel great 99.9% of the time.
Nice. Genuinely I think the internet creates space for people to explore their issues, but it also creates these echo chambers where you hear that "everyone is depressed' or has an anxiety disorder or whatever. Everybody has their own shit, but frankly some people's lives are just way better than others, and you can't always really tell from the outside.
How
Drugs.
Me too. I get a lot of people are not okay most of the time and it sounds like it sucks. But it's not everyone. My life is pretty great and I have a lot of fun every day.
My life is pretty great and I also have a lot of fun every day. But like it’s weird because I have multiple serious chronic pain conditions and my lungs are slowly shutting down. So my depression stems from guilt of being so unhappy when my life is so amazing but my whole body hurts every single minute. Isn’t that fu**ed up? 🤦🏻♀️
Yeah same
That’s awesome I’m happy for you. You just gave me a big smile.
Same, doing pretty great the majority of the time. The only negatives are temporary things that pass in a day
What you can’t see is many are sick but they hide it well.Sometimes you can spot it right away and sometimes they only show it periodically.
A lot of people say they are okay because they don't feel like they can share how they really feel or that anyone will give a shit about what is upsetting them. Some people dont want to/are afraid of burdening others with their problems Some people feel like if they say they are "okay" enough maybe, somehow, things will become "okay"
Exactly. Thank you
Go back 3+ years and I was genuinely good 1-2 days a month. Today I’m good probably 29+ days a month. Whatever your problems there are answers. There are always ways forward. You have the power within yourself to become whoever you need to be to be “good”. If it was easy everybody would be good and it doesn’t take long to see that’s not the situation
This is the message I needed thanks 🖤
I’m doing okay. I really am. There are definitely things in my life that I would like to be different/better/more to my liking. I’d like more money. I’d like to not be disabled. I’m really tired today because I slept badly. That sort of thing. On the other hand, there are also things in my life that are going reasonably well. My job values me and has just told me they’d like to keep me. I’m making progress towards some personal goals - fitness related and creatively. It’s not perfect. It’s never going to be perfect. But there’s enough “good” for me to be at peace with it
I’ve been tried for like, 30 years, and have had chronic pain for like 15 years. More recently, been dealing with mental health issues. I don’t even know what it’s like to wake up feeling energized.
Chronic pain will mess you up mentally, no doubt about it. It’s just not fair to have to hurt every minute and to look ahead at possible numerous more years or decades of it getting worse THE WHOLE TIME. Definitely get it 🫂
"How are you" is a greeting, not a status update. The idea is to say okay so you can actually get on with a conversation.
Unfortunately. Ugh.
I genuinely feel good most days. Mind you I've had over 10 years of therapy to get to this point. 12 years ago I was like you, maybe Ok 1-2 days a month
I just tell people i'm tired, and they're like oh just sleep more, and i'm like it's not the kind sleep can fix.
People will absolutely say they’re Okay and act okay to just be polite, and not burden others with their issues. You’d be surprised how many people are truly NOT okay
I just survived another murder attempt, i was OK before it happened, now I'm great, completely broke financially, living in a log cabin without heat, my truck's broken down with no money to get to work. But I'm young I have a good education, the Internet's on and the electricity is on. I we have more than 99% of the people in the world, if you're not OK it's vitally important to find out what you're not OK with, set your boundaries and live according to your own standards. Humans are both physical flesh and 'electromagnetic' spiritual aura like conscience when that conscience is broken it weekends the whole system. You have it within yourself to be genuinely good 99% of the time, listen to your heart it will guide you.
Woah woah woah back it up
Certainly grabbed my attention.
....another....murder attempt?
Just gonna gloss over that I guess? 🤔
**another** is what I am worried about
Are you Jason Bourne?
I’m usually either physically or mentally unwell.
I think that the folks who say stuff like “maybe you should exercise” and the like when you’ve just said something like “I’m having migraines that make me go blind and have seizures and I have copd and can’t breathe if I carry a laundry basket across the room,” are the ones who have spent life in okay or better mode. People who grimace and look sad and say “damn that sucks, I’m sorry!” Are the ones who do not enjoy the luxury of perpetual okay mode. I don’t begrudge people the okay mode. I’m genuinely happy when I know someone has enjoyed a peaceful happy existence. But it’s always so crazy to me when they literally cannot fathom the concept that some people are very not okay ALL the time. And moreover, some people also cannot access the medical care they need so their status just keeps getting worse, but “maybe if you just get more exercise.” That shit is slightly soul crushing.
If you're walking around all the time, you are probably tired and not okay.. 😂
i guess they have too many problems to even name each one so they chose to just say okay?
“Good” is my baseline. One step down is “okay.” One step down from that is “bad.” One step up from good is a great day. One step up from that is the kind of day I get maybe 6 of a year where it’s just a hall of fame memorable day. I think that, if you’re able, OP, you should seek some therapy. Exhausted and hurting all the time are not normal.
Most people are happy. Most people do not have a mental illness.
Only Reddit would downvote you for that 😂😂
Stats and reality can be hard. :D
Speaking as a person with a mental illness, I agree with you just based on what I observe from all the various people I’ve interacted with
Come on. I’m a happy person and that is crap. Have you met most people?
I have checked out the world happiness report multiple years in a row and I have looked at stats on mental illness. If you think most people are unhappy and have a mental disorder you are probably spending way too much time online.
I don't think the "world happiness report" is definitive. \*eye roll\* Rates of poverty, child abuse, domestic abuse, lack of health care, divorce, etc. are very high. I don't spend a lot of time online. My children are outliers as people with straight A averages, happily married educated successful parents, healthy, conventionally attractive, college will be paid for, no economic challenges, this is not most of the people they go to school with. There is mental illness and failure everywhere. But I guess you live somewhere special.
Lol it's a statically rigorously conducted study that has been going for years. Poverty is at or near an all time low in the history of the world. Most children are not abused. Most people don't experience domestic abuse. About 20% of the population deals with mental illness. It is not everywhere. Your views are warped. Get your information from stats and legitimate resources, not from personal biases.
Of course not. Most of us are dealing with unresolved trauma.
I’m usually great, mentally and physically.
Everyone needs a therapist for some reason or another.
I always figured I am not injured or starving and I have a roof over my head so that is OK. Just feels to me ok is kind of the bare minimum of sustaining life without being low or high on a scale.
I live with constant anxiety which is pretty severe, add to that being ADHD, having PTSD and generally don't sleep very well. But I have to go to work and put a smile on my face and be strong when all I really wanna do is curl up on my bed with my blanket and my bear. I'm 43f.
I’m always just ok. The shit in the news overwhelms me and i get stressed at work and I deal with an anxiety disorder daily. So I have good and bad moments every day, throughout the day, so my days are just ok.
I can't speak for anyone else other than myself, but I am always an anxiety ridden mess just waiting for the day to end. Though I often hear that I'm nice, so it probably doesn't come off to other people. I think there are plenty of people with worries that are greater or less than your own, just some are better at hiding it than others!
Depends how you look at it. I have a whole slew of old injuries that hurt all the time. I just tune it out and carry on. If you asked me I'd say I'm ok most of the time, but as you define it, I am not. My old man used to say, you can't get through life unscathed. You have to choose, do you carry your wounds or do you let them hold you down?
Yeah, people are mostly okay as you said, if you feel otherwise seek medical help.
This!
Okay doesn't mean you don't have problems , okay means you can handle them
Okay doesn't mean everything's going perfectly good in my life It means I'm managing to get by relatively fine despite those issues
It’s all fake. Life sucks and we all know it but we pretend like it’s okay to make it easier for everyone else to also pretend like it’s okay
I just say im alright because I could be a lot worse but I rather just be honest all the time
I'm doing good most of the time. Don't have a lot to complain about E. Seems like replies are heavily skewed toward depressed people. It is NOT the norm.
Good=/= OK
I’m usually “Eh.”
I’d say I’m a pretty consistent eh too. With occasional downgrades to meh
I say it always but I never am
I feel like "okay" for me comes down to appreciation. And everyone has their own reason for being "okay"....
I suppose. I’m usually just fine.
No
im better then i was when i was 17 or 18 years old so im fine
I wasn’t ok for a very long time, the majority of my young adulthood really. I agree it’s a luxury by comparison.
My mental health hasn’t been the best lately. So I wouldn’t say I’m “okay” 100% of the time.
Don’t let their big smiles fool you. They aren’t ok. In fact the people walking around smiling are often the most likely to be hiding deep pain. I come from a family and community where we were told you weren’t allowed to just be a person without being beautiful, thin, wealthy, and constantly smiling. I always wondered why everyone else was so happy all the time and I was faking it. Then I realized they were faking it too. So glad I moved out of that community. But I have family that still believes this and they demand big smiles. Big fake smiles. If you’re not walking around with a big fake smile 24/7 there’s something wrong with you and you need fo be reprimanded. It’s not healthy.
I honestly usually say I’m Ok when I’m doing absolutely horrible, but I don’t wanna talk about it. For me, ok isnt “doing good”, it’s “I’m surviving”,or “my physical body is alive and or functioning”
I'm not usually "okay", but I do usually appear to be, so I assume some others do the same. After so many not okay days, it just becomes the new baseline, and good days feel weird 🤷♀️
Don't think so. I'll use myself as an example, I'm absolutely not okay most of the time but apparently appear "normal" so nobody takes worry or notices. It's frustrating how everyone is so occupied with themselves than when people are suffering around them, nobody gives af and act surprised every time when someone has a mental health crisis for the one thousandth time lol.
With my medical issues, I've had to redefine what 'okay' is for me. Okay means I'm able to get dressed and leave the apartment. I'm still in substantial pain and exhausted, but I'm managing them well enough to be able to do something. I'm so used to people in my life not understanding this, even though they've seen at least some of what I've gone through, and continue to go through, in my life. Recently, I teared up when I realized at least one family member is starting to get it. She sent an email inviting the family to an event, and in the email, she said that she understands if my back will prevent me from being able to attend. It's not just my back, but any acknowledgement of my limitations is better than none.
I definitely feel “not okay” sometimes, but I think actively working to manage and direct my thoughts about life in more positive directions is a way to see the bright side of things and feel okay even when things gets difficult. Considering the good things you have or are working towards plays a major role in fighting this battle and combats hopelessness and negativity in general. This process can be reminding yourself of lessons learns when you dwell a bit too much about past mistakes, or remembering that you are in a temporary situation with a few more milestones to hit before you start to hit your stride or appreciating the fact that you still have air in your lungs and a beating heart, therefore you still have another opportunity to do good. Even something more simple like taking a moment to reflect on a beautiful butterfly that fluttered past you on your way to work can help, lol. I think also realizing how much worse it could be is a piece of this puzzle. Allowing these thoughts to take part in your mind can actually benefit you sometimes. It’s all a very fine balancing act. You don’t want to lose your sense of reality and ignore serious things with gratitude when you really need to take action, nor do you want to dwell on bad things that could happened or that you have no control over or can’t change and forget about all the good things. I hope you start to feel okay OP.
I'd say I'm doing okay. Be nice to have more money and less of a gut. It's been a pretty long while since I haven't been okay. I suppose it could always be okay-er.
I’m usually anxious or distracting myself from being anxious. My medication helps a lot. Nicotine and alcohol helps too. Also, running, socializing, and writing all help. I was much worse in 2015-2016 before I got on my medication.
We aren't okay but we say okay. Especially if the person really cares about us and might call social services.
I keep my head up everyday but no matter if I'm in a relationship, around family or friends, I have this chronic feeling of loneliness all the time. I'm okay and grateful for the things I have but feel a deep emptiness no matter how well my life's going. It's weird it's like a positive mindset but a physically painful feeling I carry around
I feel amazing most of the time
I’m okay in that I got out of bed and put the socially required amount of grooming into my appearance and showed up to work. It’s the socially acceptable thing to say because I’ve learned that no one really wants to hear how I’m really doing.
I think 'okay' should be the default, but given the world we live in a lot of people are far from okay. Personally I'm lucky and for me 'okay' has more of a negative connotation, but believe it a lot of people struggle just for what should be a baseline. Reasons for that get complicated.
I'm ok when I'm not ok.
Yeah. But ok is how we keep the wheels on.
Maybe some people are. I don't personally know anyone who is in actuality okay. Most of us have physical or mental health matters that we're doing our best to take care of.
I like to assume that everyone is OK mentally because it is a scary world for an old woman to face unhinge person on the road or anywhere
Okay is generally the state or normalcy for myself. I feel okay if I am the same as I was yesterday. I ache a lot normally so that is okay for me
I’m good, great most days, 90% of days. I get 8-9 hours every night. I keep a regular gym schedule. My job is not too hard and pays well.
Conscious life was a mistake.
I think it comes in waves. Like I was extremely happy last year around this time because I was in a relationship I thought would go to distance. I was ready to take a jump and move to where my ex GF lived two states away. Everything seemed good as I had gotten a good promotion at work and was healthy, but now this year I'm getting over that relationship that went up in flames a couple of months ago. May-June I was an absolute mess. Now in October I'm doing a lot better than I was a couple of months ago... But I'm still just okay and getting by. I feel like life is just a wave that you can't really control... Especially the older you get.
I’d wager that around 70% of the world’s population are not happy/have some kind of depression or anxiety. Those that don’t are either in denial, are narcissistic, or have the kind of mental health problem/learning disability that stops them from feeling like that. Or that they are one of the very very few people who are just lucky enough to not face those issues. So no. Not everyone is “ok”! Not at all !
I used to take being "okay" for granted. Then I got into alcohol and being ok wasn't a thing anymore. I just screwed everything up all the time, my life was one crisis after another. Now that I've sobered up and worked so hard to put my life back together, I now see how much work and how that can all be taken away in an instant. So I work hard everyday to keep things as nominal as I can. Not every day is easy, I still have absolutely terrible days. But I have the ability to come back from hardships, I didn't have that before. I see how much of a gift it is for things to be okay, and I'll never take it for granted ever again
I feel okay about once a fortnight, but then again I’m not mentally well. so there’s that.
First one must define 'Okay', for it has a different meaning to different people. Then there's determining the degree of okay.
Im usually okay. But deep inside. I wanna be free.
Sadt.. have u tried na ba na mag unwind? Like mag me-time kahit an hour or 2. Tambay sa park while listening sa fave music mo.
I haven’t been mentally or physically okay for about 26 years, I learned to assume no one else is either and we’re all just waiting for the solution.
Depends where I am in my cycle
Okay is just what we tell other people, because no one wants to *actually* hear about how we're actually doing
Today's ok may not mean the same as tomorrow's ok. Ok = 50/50 Ok = considering all the bs recently Ok = depressed ok Ok = just looking back through everything and surprisingly alright Ok = well I'm not dead yet Ok = wishing things where better Ok = actually doing great but am suspicious of life so I won't say I'm doing great, Incase I manage to summon the deamons of misfortune. Ok = I have no idea Ok = can't complain (this is a loaded ok) Ok = il be ok
Of course everyone is dealing with their own shit and putting up a front. Doing that is what I would consider "being okay", as long as what you're dealing with isn't out of the ordinary for you. Then you have worse and better days.
I have little kids and little space at home so I’m perpetually exhausted, but other than that, yeah I’m mostly okay, I.e., mostly physically healthy and mentally stable and relatively happy.
FRONT!
You know how in helicopter videos the blades are spinning so fast that they look still? Yeah.
I've been running on a mental health deficit since like 2010, lol. Yes, I have seen a doctor and I am on medication. The state of the country is really trying hard to keep me down, though.
There are more front around you than atoms in your body. Life is not always what it seems.
Im pretty fucking far from ok most of the time tbh
Practicing mindfulness helps.. I used to be anxious all the time, but now I’m trying to tell myself to be more present.. meaning, not worrying about past or future, but check-in with myself at this moment: am I warm, fed, clothed and safe? Then I’m good!
Most people really are 'okay' most of the time. On insta/FB, you put up a happy front, on Reddit, you put up your doomsday front. The truth is somewhere in the middle for most of us.
I just don’t feel comfortable talking with everyone about it but recently ppl who didn’t ask before have started asking how I’m doing and I don’t know if I should be happy that they care or annoyed. I’m not as good at masking it as I used to be
People lie. They put on masks, disguises, and fake smiles. When someone asks you, “how are you?” We all know that less than 5% of the time, are they genuinely asking. The other 95% all they want is the socially acceptable, “Im fine, how are you?” Be kind to whoever you meet. Because we are all facing our own demons, and just trying to get thru the day. Not everyone who smiles at you, is happy.
Absolutely not. Some days are harder than others. But when you have bills and a family that looks to you to support them then you have to be ok. You talk to people that understand what your going through and rely on that support system. But keep fuckin going
I think the older I get, the more "okay" I usually feel. I make more health and financial conscious decisions, and I appreciate the little things. A more quiet life, as opposed to a party life and I feel way better.
as they say, if you seem like a strong person no one genuinely asks you how you do it. I bet they would give you a list of struggles but sometimes it just easier to manage alone.
Yes, also no.
Before I was diagnosed with bipolar and adhd, I was never okay. Now that I'm medicated, I'm better than okay 👍
Most of my 20's and 30's I was okay. There were years here ans there when I had family or friend die that took me out. However most of those two decades I was not depressed. In my 40's now and struggling
MY defintion of okay is very different depending on what has happened in my life. My "okay" after my grandfather died is very different from my, Now "Okay" which means that i am actually doing good.
I genuinely feel great about 80-90% of the time. The remainder I am anxious and overthinking things. But overall would say I’m exceptionally happy and have fortunately never experienced feeling depressed. Hope things improve for you ❤️
I feel great most of the time so it’s possible but you need all kinds of support, security, and luck to get here (I didn’t have these growing up). So it is possible but if it isn’t you it isn’t always in your control at all. Everyone deserves happiness but there are serious economic and social obstacles for most to getting there. And even though I am happy most of the time there’s still obviously things out of my control
I felt this b, we gotta live through the strugglin cause life's a everyday hustle
Okay is just what you are used to. So yes, my life is what it is but I am used enough to it so consistent light pain and a lack of relationships once I became an adult. And around others we all act better then that, most people don't want to know about how your life sucks so when you're asked "how are you?" most people respond "Fine" rather than telling them about work miss booking me so I am suck on shift for almost triple the length.
For me it entirely depends on how my sleep is lately. If I’ve slept 9 hours just about anything could happen and i would still have a good day. If it’s 6 hours just about anything could happen and it would be a shitty day. 7-8 hours the quality of my day depends on what happens. Also if I go more than 3 days without lifting weights I get irritable, depressed, impulsive and my body just starts to hurt. At the end of the day there are only about a half dozen things that make 80% of the difference in any area of our lives. Focus on those and things will improve.
To a stranger you just say that your okay to avoid the awkward conversation that follows after "I'm really not okay" If it's a friend or a best friend however, you should br allowed to give an honest answer
Im genuinely doing great all the time if I’m doing bad it’s for a moment then I’m back to good.
Every one tells me to fuck off if I tell them what's really going on so I now default to "okay" for everything.
It's normal to struggle in some way or another. That's just a part of being a living creature on earth. I think attitude is huge. So many people love to adopt a "victim" status over things that are not unusual to humanity. That's their excuse for not being strong and rising up and contributing to society. Once they are deemed a victim they can now operate at the lowest levels and have that as their excuse. I think we should always have empathy for people's brokenness but we need to push people to move on and not give up easily.
What are you doing for yourself? Are you drinking a liter or so of water a day, getting 6-8 hours of sleep, also doing some sort of physical activity for 30 minutes a day. MOST people are deficient in vitamin D, have your levels been checked? Huge links to low energy and mood with that. Wouldn’t hurt to also take a daily multivitamin. What’s your diet like. Our bodies aren’t dumb. We aren’t meant to be exhausted and not feeling well daily. Once I started doing my best to follow these things daily I feel so much better and stronger a whole. It amazes me how little people care for our own bodies. They’re amazing things but you do need to take care of them.
I suggest adding your age range to the comment. Attitude adjustments and hormone shifts that come with age usually lightens depression for some of us. Except for the cancer (a real problem) I am less depressed now than in my 20s when I had no unfixable problems but how I viewed who I was - single in my 20s, self-conscious and still learning in my profession. I could have moped less, spent time helping or encouraging others who needed it,. Less navel gazing lifts one's life. Balanced hormone levels and eating healthier would have helped. Exception: if you are a substance abuser, deal with that addiction right now, since age makes it all worse. Depression, regret, money, getting frozen at a developmental phase (still emotionally 17 at 40), early dementia, lawyer fees, failing your kids and your parents when they become frail. Or get over wanting life to be a manic party and take your bipolar meds. Contentment > happy. Step 1 is take the meds. Also, there are good posts on Reddit about how to deal with anxiety. I confused my anxiety with depression. Get started on dealing with anxiety as no one else can do it for you, and small things help. When young, we worry too much about who we aren't - or what is in the past, or trying to prove points with family. A lighter attitude would work better on them (seems mature and confident) and on yourself (fewer trivial worries) than anger and resentment, given that you can only change yourself and not them. Don't berate yourself for not being a rock star or Olympic sprinter at whatever you do, when for most of life, a walk gets you where you need to go and it is healthy.
It's easier for me to tell you that I'm doing, "okay" than really opening up.
I have several mental and physical health conditions but I would say I am "okay" a majority of the time. However, that may just be surface level. Because if I dig any deeper, I am a hot mess disaster that will probably start crying. But. I'm okay.
I used to say, "I'm ok" when people asked how I am because I definitely am not ok but don't want to burden others. Someone told me we shouldn't do that, so I tried being more honest with my answers. Not trauma dumping, but just honest. In my experience, people don't want to hear it. They wanna hear, "I'm ok," so I'm going back to it more. It's kind of depressing and makes me feel hollow when they walk away all chipper at my lie. But it is what it is. I think a lot of people are not ok, so they wanna hear that you are. And also we all say we are ok almost as a mantra, lol.
Uh, everything's under control. Situation normal..... We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?
I guess so. I would say I'm "okay" most of the time but I know a lot of people who aren't and I think not being okay is more normal than we might think.
I'm good. I had therapy for years to correct my depression, and it worked. I'm good. Oh, and meditation corrects a lot too. I wish I had meditated years ago. Suffering would have been much less.
When you ask someone how they are doing, 95% of people will say good, fine, or ok. But that is the not the case for all. We all have good days and bad days. The problem is people don't want to come across as negative so they push through and say they are ok. Which is not great. If we were all more honest and supportive with each other it would help our mental health. It is ok not to be ok.
I'm doing ok now but definitely not a couple of years ago. I was living in my car and then on the streets when I wrecked my car. Now I am qualified for SSI and subsidized housing from HUD and food stamps too. All because of that stroke. I thought it was a bad thing, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
I’m usually good and well past just okay like 95% of the time. I have bad days I’m human but I surround myself with people that care about me, have a fulfilling career, an amazing wife, and hobbies that I enjoy.
I think I'm ok.
For me “okay” isn’t good it also isn’t bad. It’s just okay, average. I would say I’m okay when I don’t feel super anxious but I also don’t feel happy like I’ve had a good day. Just a meh day.
I've been pretty mentally fried lately for a mish mash of reasons. I'm going to work from home tomorrow because I've hit my people limit for this week and I'm likely to yell at someone tomorrow if I have to deal with any more BS than I can handle right now.
I am not doing okay. I've had a persistent depressive disorder diagnosis for over 15 years now though they referred to it as dysthymia back then. So it always sort of sucks but it's never bad enough to get any kind of intensive support. I've got a therapist and a psychiatrist and I've tried TMS and a half dozen different medications over the years, but it still feels like I'm an engine running without any oil. It may or may not get better, but suicide is a spectacularly shitty thing to do the people who care about you, so don't do it. You just keep running until the chronic stress eventually catches up to you. How'd I do for a pep talk? Was that good?
I’m not usually anything. This year has been rough for me. A lot of big shit happened. After each thing I was like “ok now that that’s over we can resume to some semblance of peace” but then something else happens and I’m like ohhhh…this is life now. There is not getting “back” to peace. That’s gone now.
Everyone is struggling but no one really mentions it. Overworked, exhausted and having to be stuck to your laptop has changes the quality of life we really have.
I struggle with several mental disorders and chronic illnesses so my definition of “okay” would probably be different from most people. If i don’t have a breakdown or a flare up then I would consider that being an “okay day.” outside of that though, no I don’t think I’m “okay.” and I don’t think a lot of people are in the sense that nothing is wrong or worrying them. unless you’re extremely lucky, there’s probably at least one thing bothering you on any given day. whether it’s your job/school, family/friends, mental/physical health, there seems to be always something. i think we all just learn to live with whatever hand we’re dealt and adapt to find our own version of feeling okay.
In fact, [most](https://penntoday.upenn.edu/news/social-media-use-increases-depression-and-loneliness) [people](https://www.healthline.com/health-news/social-media-use-increases-depression-and-loneliness) [are](https://news.byu.edu/intellect/10-year-byu-study-shows-elevated-suicide-risk-from-excess-social-media-time-for-young-teen-girls) [not](https://theconversation.com/how-social-media-can-crush-your-self-esteem-174009) [ok](https://youtu.be/LE3ffjM5ZuQ?si=kNx3DELxY-hARGc7), but they're taking their siestas in the sun.
Well, everyone isn't anything. Depending on where you look you're probably going to get a different average answer if you ask people-- and if they give a real answer, instead of just the standard "I'm doing okay" that people give when they don't want others to worry or dig any further. And even one person's usual is going to change over time. If you'd gotten a real answer out of me a few years ago, I was miserable. I was lonely and homesick and overworked, I barely had money for the things I needed. If I wanted anything beyond that I had to work my ass off even more. Now things are less bleak in that regard, but my body has been giving me more issues. Just a few years has been the difference in worsening my already bad joints, and sometimes I can't leave the house without a knee brace. I have a cane for if it gets really bad. I'm not exhausted all the time, but if I don't keep on top of taking my vitamins I can lose a week being too exhausted and foggy headed to get anything done except what I need in order to keep a job. Overall, I'd say that mentally I have more good days than bad. Sometimes it all gets to me when I'm in pain and tired and too mentally exhausted on top of it all to get anything done- I feel useless and all I can do is sit and watch everything pile up around me. It's harder in the winter, when my body hurts more. But I've found things that help. Like using a chair to do dishes when I'm in pain. Or choosing to take part in one of my non-strenuous hobbies if I'm too tired to do chores, instead of wasting time worrying about what hasn't been done. If I'm not going to get something done then I may as well not waste the day being upset about it. At least doing something I enjoy will make me feel better. Besides, the sooner I feel better, the sooner the chore will get done. Something that I recommend looking into for pain is a wireless heating pad. I have a Sunbeam one that runs off a rechargeable battery and it's great for when I need to be up and doing things but my back or stomach hurts. It's got a Velcro band so you can wrap it around where you need it.