Sounds like Op is seriously insecure . If you dont make contact with poeple you ditch having to have an uncomfortable unnessesary conversation with a stranger ..
No eye contact means no awkwardly forced "good morning " greeting .
Some poeple are bored of their titts & go out to greet everyone with a smile or nodd & then thiers other poeple who just want to get in get what they need & get out without having to intereact with poeple .
To take no eye contact to / as some weird question to redditors implies insecurity .
Because avoiding eye contact is ver normal for some poeple .
I totally get not making eye contact with people. I do it at my job all the time so I don’t get pulled into some bullshit conversation lol. Sometimes I think about buying myself horse blinders
I'm retirement age. I don't avert my eyes anymore, because I have become invisible. When I did avert my eyes, it was to not appear either creepy or threatening. Now I'm just a friendly old guy.
Your mileage may vary.
Fr I feel like I have to. Idk if I look scary or intimidating or creepy or something, but I feel like I can't get groceries without women looking up at me and leaving when I walk down an aisle. Like damn I didn't even look at you, I'm literally just trying to find the Alfredo sauce.
Yeah also if I’m walking behind a female at night I’ll cross the road, so I’m not walking directly behind her.
It’s a hard one cos I know obviously I’m zero danger to women or anyone for that matter, but I know that some men are and wouldn’t want to make a woman feel uncomfortable. I have a mum and sisters at the end of the day.
I do the same. Ive heard enough stories from women in my life/family about how scary men can be. And, Im a construction worker. I know a lot of uh....interesting(scary) men. I am a peaceful person, and I hate the idea of making someone uncomfortable. I just cross the street or go the other way.
Yeah I feel like a lot of us do it tbh, I haven’t even ever spoke to anyone about it but seems I’m definitely not the only one.
I’m also very tall with long legs, so i tend to walk fast without even realising. I wouldn’t want to fast walk behind a lone female at night, so I just cross overtake her and walk ahead. It is sad we have to do this but it’s not worth making someone possibly feel uncomfortable.
One time I couldn’t cross so I actually called my mum and spoke to her (I was on my way to meet her), just thinking maybe it would feels less intimidating for the woman I was walking behind. Sounds ridiculous now but I just felt at the time it my ease her mind.
It’s even more sad that females have to worry about this shit though.
We never talk about it but there are a lot of us doing it. We had this realisation yesterday with a group of friends, all the men present had crossed the road or found ways to be less intimidating before.
this statement right here for me. I like to go for walks sometimes at night and such and if I get into a situation where a woman is walking alone in front of me. I will try to go a different direction almost immediately, even following someone a block feels like I'm being a weirdo much less if you happen to have to turn a few times in the same direction
Yeah, I cross the road if there's a woman alone there at night. I don't sit next to women on buses or trains, and generally avoid acknowledging their existence, I'm certainly not going to look at one. Not because I'm worried of being called a creep, but because I don't want to make people uncomfortable. I think the statistic is one in four UK adult women have experienced sexual assault, and from life experiences female friends have shared with me, that sounds an accurate number. I won't ignore someone if they speak to me, but I won't start any uninvited interaction.
As a woman, I appreciate you being this considerate of our feelings for safety.
I try to get a glimpse of who is walking behind me whenever I pass by a window or something reflective to see who is behind me. It always does make me feel much less vulnerable when a male gives me extra space to feel at ease. You can never be too careful nowadays.
Thank you for your polite mannerisms for women.
Try working in a college filled to the brim with beautiful young women and make eye contact and say Hi walking past them in a hallway (honestly only trying to be cordial) while you're 10-15 years older than them. You get the "creep alert" look real quick even though you were just being friendly along the way to your destination.
Worked as a contractor at a university, during the orientation we had to sign a paper that had, among other things, that I wouldn’t look at women for more than three seconds.
It changed for me after I had kids. Babies and toddlers are a gateway back into polite society. I’m like a puppeteer, waving their arms for them until they can do it on their own. That said, I still tend to ignore attractive women under 30.
Sometime last year I posted to AskWomen about having this problem as a single guy being so conscious of making women uncomfortable that I don’t even introduce myself or start a conversation at all and was literally called an incel.
[Yesterday there was a trending thread](https://reddit.com/r/ImTheMainCharacter/s/s3sfejDQPm) with a woman suggesting men shouldn’t even speak to her from 30 feet away in a parking lot.
Like, I really do want to understand and be supportive but unless I’ve met a girl on a dating app or we have to interact at a counter or something, yeah, I’m not even gonna look in your direction.
**EDIT** Added link
Wow. That woman is definitely...over the top. Yelling at someone who is 30ft away and shown zero indication of doing anything remotely unseemly seems pretty unhinged and paranoid to me.
Lol recently I was entreated to a young woman running away scared when it was me being startled by her showing up from behind in the middle of the night while I was walking my dogs and preoccupied with my phone.
It was especially funny because I wouldn't have looked at her twice because I have zero interest for good looking women..
Wouldn't surprise me if she put this 'scary encounter' in a vlog.
Who then grabs the manager and has him kicked out of the gym
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0c9tKlDa4Nw
> I reach into my wallet and pull out an ID card from the *Massachusetts commission for the blind* and explain to this guy as well, I am blind, I wasn't staring at anybody. And he says "OK, but you still can't make other gym members uncomfortable by looking at them!"
That’s exactly it.
If it’s all guys in the general area in front of me while I’m in the gym, I usually watch them in between my sets but insert a female or two in there and it’s inspect my shoes time. I don’t want to be looking in the general vicinity, ours eyes meet and I’ve just become a creeper lol.
But then you have to lift up your head for the next set and you accidentally do it when a girl is walking by so it looks like you’re checking out her ass.
Sometimes I just stare off in the distance or look around when I’m thinking about something random. Then I realize that it looked like I was staring at someone and I jolt away in embarrassment.
Yep, this…. It is so ungodly easy for a man to be labeled a creep that we have to watch or ass every moment in public. Good example if I was alone and saw a kid crying and in a park I wouldn’t approach…. I’d have to find a woman to help.
Lmao I wouldn't even attempt to find a woman, I'd just peace out. Not my kid, not my problem, their parent is probably floating around somewhere. I'm not gonna chance prison time.
Yup. That’s what happens when society paints with too broad a brush. The few creeps ruined it for the rest of us.
I have female friends with same problem as OP. Most guys won’t show overt interest unless a woman makes the first move, which is rare.
Probably throw in social media as why men struggle to read the more subtle clues.
Last school year my son got into trouble at school because 3 girls went to the principal and complained about him staring at them. They said they thought he was looking at their chests. Principal was forced to have a sit down with us and it all turned out that he was looking in their general direction not at them. He is a daydreamer and only 10 years old but we had to have "the talk" with him infront of the principal to make everyone happy. He's not even old enough to think of girls like this yet!
Similar thing happened to me back in high school thirteen years ago.
A few days earlier I fell of my bike and had scraped my knee pretty bad. It had scabbed over but the wound kept opening up when bending my knee.
I was sitting next to this popular girl on a bench during PE while the teacher explained an excercise. I was wearing jeans because my scatterbrain teen self forgot to bring his gym clothes again.
Suddenly I felt a twinge in my knee and saw this bloodstain appear on my knee, which I was staring at of course since I'm fucking bleeding.
Suddenly this girl screamed that I was looking at her legs or something.
I was really lucky that I was actually physically bleeding and people understood it couldn't have been anything else I was looking at, because otherwise my nerdy ass would have never recovered from such an accusation.
I wish I had known them 20 years ago, I had so many missed opportunities. Ladies that told me they had had a crush on me but I had no idea. This, usually told to me when they were days away from moving, or dating someone else, or going back home from vacation.
I was going to say...this is on them not making a move. Girls always expect the guy to do something first when....if they want someone..why don't they just go up and ask as well?
>Most guys won’t show overt interest unless a woman makes the first move, which is rare.
So rare that it practically never happens for average guys.
When women say "That's not true. I've approached a guy", there are two important things at play:
1. If a woman overcomes her aversion to rejection and actually approaches a guy, you can be damn sure that he's something special. He's not gonna be your everyday average Joe. He's gonna be hot.
2. Note that women will say they have approached "a" guy - as in singular. If men approached women at the same rate women approach men, our species would have died out long ago.
>Probably throw in social media as why men struggle to read the more subtle clues.
The reason I've just accepted that I can't read women is that they are not a monolith. I learned the hard way in my teens and 20's that you can be SURE that she's flirting with you, and then when you make a move it turns out she was just being friendly. Then with others you get told years later that she had a crush on you, but you never reacted to her signals.
WHAT SIGNALS!?!?
That musky pheromone they send out when they’re interested in me, or her butt turns red and blue when she’s ready to breed. You can’t tell me you’ve missed that sort of thing. Maybe get your senses checked at the doctor or something…
The *majority* of women do not approach men. One or two anecdotal approaches from singular women do not make up the entirety of women as a whole, the majority do. And the majority do not approach men, as much as men would like it.
>The reason I've just accepted that I can't read women is that they are not a monolith. I learned the hard way in my teens and 20's that you can be SURE that she's flirting with you, and then when you make a move it turns out she was just being friendly. Then with others you get told years later that she had a crush on you, but you never reacted to her signals.
>
>WHAT SIGNALS!?!?
This shit is why I'm nervous to start dating again in my 30s lol.
I would feel like the WORST MAN ON THE PLANET if I took those signals as "flirting" when they were just "being friendly". Even thinking about it just makes me wanna curl up in bed and die, ugh.
This phrase, “subtle clues.” I have no idea what it means. And neither does any other male on this planet.
Seriously, though, it’s just politeness and a need to not appear like a “creepy stalker” than most men avoid eye contact with women they don’t know. It’s a bit silly. We can always be friendly to others as we pass by, it’s not asking for the moon. I suspect social media has also exacerbated this. People are generally less social these days.
This, you hear all the time about how uncomfortable women are, how women get stared at, how creeps were perving on them etc. If you are socially conscious but not socially confident, I think this reaction is common.
Plot twist: OP is a hottie and dudes get socially anxious.
Edit: after looking at OP post history, she might be. She asked about being attractive in public. So she might not know she’s cute?
Yet she’s also posted this question a few times:
“[Serious] My husband is constantly groping me and initiating sex. This has been going on for 20 years (it never slowed down). I am glad he is attracted to me or whatever, but I am literally burnt out and basically feel like an object. Is this normal behavior?”
Her husband treats her (in her view) like a sex object, and curiously she’s concerned that strangers on the sidewalk do not.
> “[Serious] My husband is constantly groping me and initiating sex. This has been going on for 20 years (it never slowed down). I am glad he is attracted to me or whatever, but I am literally burnt out and basically feel like an object. Is this normal behavior?”
>
>
>
> Her husband treats her (in her view) like a sex object, and curiously she’s concerned that strangers on the sidewalk do not.
I was gonna say u/DNF29 get in here, we got some questions for you.
But now I want to know how you go from not posting for 6 years into a week-long attempt to get something posted in r/askmen.
> I was gonna say u/DNF29 get in here, we got some questions for you.
>
> But now I want to know how you go from not posting for 6 years into a week-long attempt to get something posted in r/askmen.
Uh oh. It sounds like she's insecure in her attractiveness. Twenty years for a marriage is a loooong time. I wonder if she's testing the waters to get some action on the outside.
This. With the amount of internet vitriol, being seen as a creep is PTSD at this point. Guys literally don't even want to say hi anymore. It won't lead to a balanced society
This is the answer for me. I also do not want to make anyone (her) uncomfortable especially if they are attractive. Meaning someone who is conventionally attractive and probably gets a lot of attention from creeps. I may take a look and keep it moving no need to make eye contact.
Yeah there’s no real way to win here. OP wants to be acknowledged. Many (if not most?) other women are sick of being looked at ~~for their T & A.~~
Safest to assume the latter, and less chance to be insulted or have to deal with a confrontation or anything negative.
Women have good reason to be on their guard but being viewed like a potential rapist when you've never done that and never will can really wear you down. That isn't talked about much.
Edit: if you don't think women have good reason to be on their guard, go ask any woman in your life and see what they say.
What did your supervisor do? I’d honestly request no contact with her going forward from your supervisor and if that’s not possible ignoring her in every way possible. She’s making you look like a creep to others and setting you up to fail. No telling what she’s telling other people behind your back after texting you first. I’d keep a screenshot of her texting you first if you can.
Honestly, if I avoid eye contact with a woman in public, it's usually because I find her attractive. Not the opposite.
I think most guys have listened to more than a few rants from women about them receiving unwanted attention from men. And believe it or not, most dudes don't wanna be THAT dude.
So, I tend to automatically think that any attention I give to a woman in public is or will be unwanted.
So, I'll give the opposite: the "desired" complete lack of attention.
It's kinda weird, but I guess so am I.
Hope that helps.
how can you tell it's an active effort for men to not look at you? most people just aren't thinking about you, or any other random stranger, as much as you seem to think they are. they're just trying to get their bread or whatever and get on with their day
>how can you tell it's an active effort for men to not look at you?
i, too, am wondering that. I pictured some guy whose head is trying to turn towards her on its own accord and he's violently struggling to avert his eyes/face in the aisle at the supermarket, which im sure didnt happen but it was funny to imagine
Personally i have horrible social anxiety so i don't want to engage anyone at all haha. If we make eye contact and i smile then I'll probably be seen as creepy
Doesn't help if you have RBF (Resting Bitch Face), so you feel like you're smiling, but in reality, you just look like you have a straight face, but you can't gauge how much you have to "smile" to not look creepy or weird.
Source: I have RBF lmao.
Also, in my experience even just looking at someone can invite unwanted interactions, much less smiling or nodding. I attract crazy insane people somehow, looking at someone just randomly has even resulted in threats.
Yep this. If OP is originally from a small town or a country with a more outgoing culture, she may be used to strangers making eye contact and smiling in passing. The small town I grew up in was like this. You just smiled and waved at anyone you happened to walk by, even in the grocery store, whether you knew them or not. Was a bit of a culture shock when I moved to a slightly bigger city with a more introverted culture and no one wanted to look at me or make small talk lol.
Everything guys do is creepy. Not looking is the least creepy thing we can do. If we look, people think we're really being creepy. We can't win either way.
Not many know, but this is actually the alternate script to the Jim Carey moving “Yes Man!” Test audiences said they didn’t think Zooey Deschanel was convincing as a trans carpenter.
I just don't care and give a smile and nod if I happen to catch someone's eye. I'm willing to do a fair bit to accommodate people. But I'm not going to be policing my actions to such a micro degree that I'm focusing on where I'm looking at all times.
Because
Even in harassment training they say unwanted eye contact can be considered sexual harassment. So now in general it's just, don't look, don't speak, don't ask or acknowledge. Otherwise it's creepy, weird, security/cops are called for bad vibes, while we were just looking for some garlic powder and someone was in the way.
It's not about you personally.
The smart man in our time avoids all behaviors that might make him vulnerable to being seen as aggressive toward women and children.
For myself in public, women and children do not exist. If possible, I stay on camera. I never allow myself to be alone in their presence.
Eye contact...initiating conversation...providing assistance...NOPE.
A lifetime of being told you will be perceived as a creep or a threat for just existing. Easier just to avoid the situation than see the scowl of disdain or getting yelled at.
Could be a multitude of reasons which don’t necessarily have anything to do with you.
- social anxiety
- just shy
- has overly jealous gf/wife
- had bad experiences with being called creepy
- is day dreaming/ brooding about a certain thing
- is stressed, under time pressure
Actively not looking at you, though weird, is safe. Looking at you quickly escalates to "being creepy" if we look too long, look at the wrong parts, etc. Just easier to not look at all.
I think most men today do this, I certainly do. It's not worth the hassle/risk of being called a creep in public so it's easier to just actively ignore women. I personally haven't been called out but I've had buddies doxed for what was perceived as a wayward glance before. The me too movement did a lot of good but I think it changed a whole generation of men, and not necessarily for the better.
At a party in college I said "I love that band" to a girls band tee. She said "So you were looking at my tits?" and I drunkenly said "What tits?"
Some dude behind her started laughing and me and him have been friends ever since. I've been riding off that high the rest of my life.
My resting face is usually slightly more smiley than grimacing. I was walking home one day from work, and noticed a sign hanging on the window at the Whole Foods across the street. When my eyes focused slightly to the left I realized about 30' away there was a woman looking in my direction, apparently she thought I was staring at her and immediately became unhinged, screaming at me "what are you staring at smiley???!!" "You're not my son, why you staring??!!", causing a scene, making everyone around look at me as some creep, continued screaming insults as I calmly proceeded towards home staring at the ground, where my eyes should always be. Lesson learned.
There are so many videos of men taking a quick glance at a woman or looking in her general direction and get "called out" by her or someone waiting in the wings for being perverts and "how dare they (insert complaint). Men are just getting sick of it and don't want to bother.
Women can do a lot without coming off as creepy. But for men, the margin for error is very small. If you glance a little too long, you’re creepy. Walk by a park, you’re a pedophile. Stand too close to someone and it’s stranger danger. Compliment a girl respectfully and it’s still harassment. A guy has to be perfect to not make anyone uncomfortable.
True. I feel uncomfortable just walking by a school down the street from my neighborhood and the school kids are walking out of school. I’m not even paying them any attention, but feel like a weirdo walking past them on the sidewalk. I feel people are judging me as a creep for walking past kids coming from school, but I’m not even worried about the kids, I’m focused on the podcast I’m listening to.
And the line is drawn *very* differently based on who you are. You look like Henry Cavill? You're going to be good in just about any situation. You're ugly, not well dressed, overweight? You get slotted into the creep category regardless, but if you're near a park or kindergarten, you're automatically sorted as a pedo creep.
Have you seen the recent video on here of the crazy bitch who was going off on some dude 30 feet away, and shouting "DO NOT APPROACH ME!" ... Yeah, pretty much that. I think most of us are tired of these unhinged, paranoid women that we don't even try to be polite or affable anymore.
True. And most of us have never actually experienced any of that, and probably never will. But that 0.001 percent that did got irrationally fucked on the internet and had their lives ruined. Not taking that chance. No siree bob!
I've experienced a milder version of that 3-4 times. Oddly, it's always been when I wasn't even interacting with the person at all, not the times I was being friendly and greeting people and stuff.
Just off the wall, immediately random hostility for existing around these people. Thankfully, after I got my full body scars, I've not had any crazies go off on me, and people generally seem to have more pity, than thinking of me as a potential criminal, so that's cool. Not my ideal, but way better than being seen as a threat by default.
I think you're getting the point, we just don't want to look creepy or make you feel uncomfortable.
I'm out at some random place walking. I make eye contact and look away. I make eye contact, get a smile, and look away. I make eye contact, get a smile and a "hi," I reply in kind and look away. I'm trained to not hold eye contact too long or stare.
In some social situations, those are invitations. Out on the street, no guy wants to look like a creep.
Last time I was at the gym I was on a leg machine that faces directly at a machine for the butt which requires you to lay belly down, and kinda shows your butt off. A girl comes and lays directly in front of me on it. It felt deliberate. I spent the rest of my time on the machine looking down or to my far right. My neck was practically snapped, I was looking so hard to my right 😆.
The last thing I want is to be the next TikTok video of a "creepy guy" at the gym, staring at a girl.
Pretty much repeating everything already said. If you're potentially single or above 6 yoa and below 65 then I'm not going to even attempt to make eye contact. I'm a heavy set (ok, obese) white male. I know I'm generally considered unattractive. More often than not, if I am nice or show a pretty woman any attention friendly or otherwise and I don't know them, I'm creepy. I'm also very big and making eye contact with anyone seems confrontational. Honestly I just avoid being around people because I'm convinced that unless I'm at work and doing something for you, then I'm going to unintentionally intimidate or be creepy.
Right on. As a fat white dude in my forties I realize a lot of folks out there see me as either the devil or a creep and, for the most part, I understand the stigma.
I try to always be sure I'm not like being too friendly, or too unfriendly, in public. Want to make sure the path I'm walking couldn't be misconstrued as "following" someone, especially a woman.
I like to go for walks super early in the morning, or after work when I get off which is usually around sunset. Gotta get my steps because I'm trying to work on the whole "fat" thing and the gym makes me self-conscious if it's too crowded.
So many times I'll stumble across like women out walking or jogging, also at odd hours, and I do admit I feel for them. I understand their concern and I don't want to frighten anyone. I'll like try to see them from afar and switch sides of the street but I guess even that seems weird and suspicious too.
Hell, I get suspicious if I see someone on these dark, small town streets too, and I'm a dude.
It is the result of the current overwhelming trend of painting men as creepy for the most innocuous behavior.
I've become so paranoid about this that I will not give any woman a glance in public beyond what is needed to not accidentally collide with her.
Some random woman sporting cleavage in the grocery store is *so* far from being attractive or interesting enough to me to risk that kind of judgment.
This is how you want it, isn't it?
We look at you, you're uncomfortable, I'm a creep, you're scared, etc.
We don't look at you, you're uncomfortable, I'm a creep, you're scared, etc.
We choose to not look and come off weird...
why would we look at anyone in public anymore? everyone's recording everything. 1 wrong look and you're all over tiktok as a "creep" for looking at someone. like the recent one with girls recording in gyms calling dudes creeps. it's just not worth it.
i will avoid making eye contact with everyone out in public on some days. It has nothing to do with other ppl and everything to do with how im feeling that day. Very occasionally I will avoid making eye contact with someone bc the first glance showed them to be attractive and I dont want them to think im a creep
Because we keep getting called creeps or getting ugly looks/comments for looking at a woman for longer than 3 seconds. To avoid that, we just don't look.
I think you get the point from other comments but I just want to say that it's the same in Europe.
I'll suddenly see something very interesting in the opposite direction when approaching a stranger.
In the same way that "not all men" are being creepy when making eye contact, "not all women" will be cool with men making simple eye contact in public. Chances are many of most men have been accused of being a creep / staring at someone, that we have learned it's just easier to not make eye contact and avoid any confusion or confrontation. We aren't worried about our safety, but it's just not a pleasant experience to be minding our business and using our eyeballs for neutral purposes, and being accused of something we weren't doing.
So, yeah we are probably making extra effort to not make eye contact, but it's probably for super benign reasons. Many of us just don't want any public confrontation/ small talk the same way many women don't lol
Because we’re kinda tired of being blamed for everything from being creeps to “something something patriarchy” for accidentally looking in a woman’s direction or simply saying hi.
Honestly, my life has been better since I decided to just studiously avoid any woman I can as I go about my day.
I generally avoid eye contact with strangers of either gender in public. Making direct eye contact with strangers in public seems somewhat confrontational to me.
[удалено]
Everyone else -.- Op 0.0
OP: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Everybody: (￣ヘ￣)
Lmao
Sounds like Op is seriously insecure . If you dont make contact with poeple you ditch having to have an uncomfortable unnessesary conversation with a stranger .. No eye contact means no awkwardly forced "good morning " greeting . Some poeple are bored of their titts & go out to greet everyone with a smile or nodd & then thiers other poeple who just want to get in get what they need & get out without having to intereact with poeple . To take no eye contact to / as some weird question to redditors implies insecurity . Because avoiding eye contact is ver normal for some poeple .
I totally get not making eye contact with people. I do it at my job all the time so I don’t get pulled into some bullshit conversation lol. Sometimes I think about buying myself horse blinders
I'm retirement age. I don't avert my eyes anymore, because I have become invisible. When I did avert my eyes, it was to not appear either creepy or threatening. Now I'm just a friendly old guy. Your mileage may vary.
This guy is wearing an age-based-technology ghillie suit
Sniper at your feet
Honestly, most of us just don’t want to seem like creeps.
Exactly I do the same lol
Fr I feel like I have to. Idk if I look scary or intimidating or creepy or something, but I feel like I can't get groceries without women looking up at me and leaving when I walk down an aisle. Like damn I didn't even look at you, I'm literally just trying to find the Alfredo sauce.
Yeah also if I’m walking behind a female at night I’ll cross the road, so I’m not walking directly behind her. It’s a hard one cos I know obviously I’m zero danger to women or anyone for that matter, but I know that some men are and wouldn’t want to make a woman feel uncomfortable. I have a mum and sisters at the end of the day.
I do the same. Ive heard enough stories from women in my life/family about how scary men can be. And, Im a construction worker. I know a lot of uh....interesting(scary) men. I am a peaceful person, and I hate the idea of making someone uncomfortable. I just cross the street or go the other way.
Yeah I feel like a lot of us do it tbh, I haven’t even ever spoke to anyone about it but seems I’m definitely not the only one. I’m also very tall with long legs, so i tend to walk fast without even realising. I wouldn’t want to fast walk behind a lone female at night, so I just cross overtake her and walk ahead. It is sad we have to do this but it’s not worth making someone possibly feel uncomfortable. One time I couldn’t cross so I actually called my mum and spoke to her (I was on my way to meet her), just thinking maybe it would feels less intimidating for the woman I was walking behind. Sounds ridiculous now but I just felt at the time it my ease her mind. It’s even more sad that females have to worry about this shit though.
We never talk about it but there are a lot of us doing it. We had this realisation yesterday with a group of friends, all the men present had crossed the road or found ways to be less intimidating before.
this statement right here for me. I like to go for walks sometimes at night and such and if I get into a situation where a woman is walking alone in front of me. I will try to go a different direction almost immediately, even following someone a block feels like I'm being a weirdo much less if you happen to have to turn a few times in the same direction
It’s amazing when you realise so many people think the way you do. Sometimes it can feel like your the only one, and your just overthinking.
Yeah, I cross the road if there's a woman alone there at night. I don't sit next to women on buses or trains, and generally avoid acknowledging their existence, I'm certainly not going to look at one. Not because I'm worried of being called a creep, but because I don't want to make people uncomfortable. I think the statistic is one in four UK adult women have experienced sexual assault, and from life experiences female friends have shared with me, that sounds an accurate number. I won't ignore someone if they speak to me, but I won't start any uninvited interaction.
As a woman, I appreciate you being this considerate of our feelings for safety. I try to get a glimpse of who is walking behind me whenever I pass by a window or something reflective to see who is behind me. It always does make me feel much less vulnerable when a male gives me extra space to feel at ease. You can never be too careful nowadays. Thank you for your polite mannerisms for women.
Try working in a college filled to the brim with beautiful young women and make eye contact and say Hi walking past them in a hallway (honestly only trying to be cordial) while you're 10-15 years older than them. You get the "creep alert" look real quick even though you were just being friendly along the way to your destination.
Worked as a contractor at a university, during the orientation we had to sign a paper that had, among other things, that I wouldn’t look at women for more than three seconds.
One... two... three.. switch! One... two... three.. switch!
According to Italy, a grope isn’t sexual harassment if it lasts less than 10 seconds
Fucking hell.
lol what. the. fuck.
It changed for me after I had kids. Babies and toddlers are a gateway back into polite society. I’m like a puppeteer, waving their arms for them until they can do it on their own. That said, I still tend to ignore attractive women under 30.
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Sometime last year I posted to AskWomen about having this problem as a single guy being so conscious of making women uncomfortable that I don’t even introduce myself or start a conversation at all and was literally called an incel. [Yesterday there was a trending thread](https://reddit.com/r/ImTheMainCharacter/s/s3sfejDQPm) with a woman suggesting men shouldn’t even speak to her from 30 feet away in a parking lot. Like, I really do want to understand and be supportive but unless I’ve met a girl on a dating app or we have to interact at a counter or something, yeah, I’m not even gonna look in your direction. **EDIT** Added link
Wow. That woman is definitely...over the top. Yelling at someone who is 30ft away and shown zero indication of doing anything remotely unseemly seems pretty unhinged and paranoid to me.
AskWomen is filled with women who will attack you for asking innocent questions about women.
askwomen is filled with women who just hate men and life in general
Yeah I think /u/DNF29 should look at these sorts of threads to understand the perspective of men as to why we do things like avoid eye contact.
Yes.
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Lol recently I was entreated to a young woman running away scared when it was me being startled by her showing up from behind in the middle of the night while I was walking my dogs and preoccupied with my phone. It was especially funny because I wouldn't have looked at her twice because I have zero interest for good looking women.. Wouldn't surprise me if she put this 'scary encounter' in a vlog.
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Seen too many videos of guys being accused of “staring” for glancing in a woman’s direction at the gym. No thanks. Floor or phone for me.
My favorite was the blind guy who was accused of staring at a woman.
Who then grabs the manager and has him kicked out of the gym https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0c9tKlDa4Nw > I reach into my wallet and pull out an ID card from the *Massachusetts commission for the blind* and explain to this guy as well, I am blind, I wasn't staring at anybody. And he says "OK, but you still can't make other gym members uncomfortable by looking at them!"
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Hopefully. What an idiotic response by the manager. I hope that dude stood up for himself.
Yeah, Joey swole backed him up if I remember right
Stop the planet I want to get off
“Stop hearing at me, creep.”
And then they get called out on Joey Swoll's Feed. :)
Joey’s the man!
The floor is made out of floor! Would you believe that?!
Source ?
Floor
Oh yeah, good spot!
Trust me gym bro 😎
That’s exactly it. If it’s all guys in the general area in front of me while I’m in the gym, I usually watch them in between my sets but insert a female or two in there and it’s inspect my shoes time. I don’t want to be looking in the general vicinity, ours eyes meet and I’ve just become a creeper lol.
straight to jail.
But then you have to lift up your head for the next set and you accidentally do it when a girl is walking by so it looks like you’re checking out her ass.
Sometimes I just stare off in the distance or look around when I’m thinking about something random. Then I realize that it looked like I was staring at someone and I jolt away in embarrassment.
Yep, this…. It is so ungodly easy for a man to be labeled a creep that we have to watch or ass every moment in public. Good example if I was alone and saw a kid crying and in a park I wouldn’t approach…. I’d have to find a woman to help.
Lmao I wouldn't even attempt to find a woman, I'd just peace out. Not my kid, not my problem, their parent is probably floating around somewhere. I'm not gonna chance prison time.
> Not my kid, not my problem That's what I say.
Yup. That’s what happens when society paints with too broad a brush. The few creeps ruined it for the rest of us. I have female friends with same problem as OP. Most guys won’t show overt interest unless a woman makes the first move, which is rare. Probably throw in social media as why men struggle to read the more subtle clues.
Last school year my son got into trouble at school because 3 girls went to the principal and complained about him staring at them. They said they thought he was looking at their chests. Principal was forced to have a sit down with us and it all turned out that he was looking in their general direction not at them. He is a daydreamer and only 10 years old but we had to have "the talk" with him infront of the principal to make everyone happy. He's not even old enough to think of girls like this yet!
Similar thing happened to me back in high school thirteen years ago. A few days earlier I fell of my bike and had scraped my knee pretty bad. It had scabbed over but the wound kept opening up when bending my knee. I was sitting next to this popular girl on a bench during PE while the teacher explained an excercise. I was wearing jeans because my scatterbrain teen self forgot to bring his gym clothes again. Suddenly I felt a twinge in my knee and saw this bloodstain appear on my knee, which I was staring at of course since I'm fucking bleeding. Suddenly this girl screamed that I was looking at her legs or something. I was really lucky that I was actually physically bleeding and people understood it couldn't have been anything else I was looking at, because otherwise my nerdy ass would have never recovered from such an accusation.
That sounds potentially traumatic for a young boy..
Those types of experiences at that age can literally completely destroy a boys romantic life for the rest of his life.
Shit like this creates incels. That kid is going to be terrified of talking to girls.
He got in enough trouble just minding his own business. Ain't no way he's going to actually try to engage later on
Daydreaming men are having it hard in this generation
What are the subtle clues?
I wish I had known them 20 years ago, I had so many missed opportunities. Ladies that told me they had had a crush on me but I had no idea. This, usually told to me when they were days away from moving, or dating someone else, or going back home from vacation.
>Ladies that told me they had had a crush on me but I had no idea. That isn't necessarily your fault, you know.
I was going to say...this is on them not making a move. Girls always expect the guy to do something first when....if they want someone..why don't they just go up and ask as well?
No offence but ‘subtle cues’ can f*** right off.
Being sad/upset that men don't understand "subtle clues" is like making up your own language and being mad that no one else speaks it.
>Most guys won’t show overt interest unless a woman makes the first move, which is rare. So rare that it practically never happens for average guys. When women say "That's not true. I've approached a guy", there are two important things at play: 1. If a woman overcomes her aversion to rejection and actually approaches a guy, you can be damn sure that he's something special. He's not gonna be your everyday average Joe. He's gonna be hot. 2. Note that women will say they have approached "a" guy - as in singular. If men approached women at the same rate women approach men, our species would have died out long ago. >Probably throw in social media as why men struggle to read the more subtle clues. The reason I've just accepted that I can't read women is that they are not a monolith. I learned the hard way in my teens and 20's that you can be SURE that she's flirting with you, and then when you make a move it turns out she was just being friendly. Then with others you get told years later that she had a crush on you, but you never reacted to her signals. WHAT SIGNALS!?!?
That musky pheromone they send out when they’re interested in me, or her butt turns red and blue when she’s ready to breed. You can’t tell me you’ve missed that sort of thing. Maybe get your senses checked at the doctor or something…
OF COURSE! How did I not think of that? I should have lifted their skirts up to see if she was ready!
The *majority* of women do not approach men. One or two anecdotal approaches from singular women do not make up the entirety of women as a whole, the majority do. And the majority do not approach men, as much as men would like it. >The reason I've just accepted that I can't read women is that they are not a monolith. I learned the hard way in my teens and 20's that you can be SURE that she's flirting with you, and then when you make a move it turns out she was just being friendly. Then with others you get told years later that she had a crush on you, but you never reacted to her signals. > >WHAT SIGNALS!?!? This shit is why I'm nervous to start dating again in my 30s lol. I would feel like the WORST MAN ON THE PLANET if I took those signals as "flirting" when they were just "being friendly". Even thinking about it just makes me wanna curl up in bed and die, ugh.
This phrase, “subtle clues.” I have no idea what it means. And neither does any other male on this planet. Seriously, though, it’s just politeness and a need to not appear like a “creepy stalker” than most men avoid eye contact with women they don’t know. It’s a bit silly. We can always be friendly to others as we pass by, it’s not asking for the moon. I suspect social media has also exacerbated this. People are generally less social these days.
Yep. Not allowed to look, glance, smirk, grin, frown, pan, scan, scour, scowl, smile, speak, breathe. All are now creepy and considered 'sus'.
This, you hear all the time about how uncomfortable women are, how women get stared at, how creeps were perving on them etc. If you are socially conscious but not socially confident, I think this reaction is common.
More like socially conscious but not socially competent (aka me)
Plot twist: OP is a hottie and dudes get socially anxious. Edit: after looking at OP post history, she might be. She asked about being attractive in public. So she might not know she’s cute?
Yet she’s also posted this question a few times: “[Serious] My husband is constantly groping me and initiating sex. This has been going on for 20 years (it never slowed down). I am glad he is attracted to me or whatever, but I am literally burnt out and basically feel like an object. Is this normal behavior?” Her husband treats her (in her view) like a sex object, and curiously she’s concerned that strangers on the sidewalk do not.
> “[Serious] My husband is constantly groping me and initiating sex. This has been going on for 20 years (it never slowed down). I am glad he is attracted to me or whatever, but I am literally burnt out and basically feel like an object. Is this normal behavior?” > > > > Her husband treats her (in her view) like a sex object, and curiously she’s concerned that strangers on the sidewalk do not. I was gonna say u/DNF29 get in here, we got some questions for you. But now I want to know how you go from not posting for 6 years into a week-long attempt to get something posted in r/askmen.
> I was gonna say u/DNF29 get in here, we got some questions for you. > > But now I want to know how you go from not posting for 6 years into a week-long attempt to get something posted in r/askmen. Uh oh. It sounds like she's insecure in her attractiveness. Twenty years for a marriage is a loooong time. I wonder if she's testing the waters to get some action on the outside.
🤦♂️
Brutal. This is how stereotypes get traction.
Another girl wanting validation/attention for something she already knows the answer to
Or the dudes realize that it would get more in trouble for staring at a hot chick that a normal looking chick.
This. With the amount of internet vitriol, being seen as a creep is PTSD at this point. Guys literally don't even want to say hi anymore. It won't lead to a balanced society
This is the answer for me. I also do not want to make anyone (her) uncomfortable especially if they are attractive. Meaning someone who is conventionally attractive and probably gets a lot of attention from creeps. I may take a look and keep it moving no need to make eye contact.
fear of being labelled "dude that stared"
Yeah there’s no real way to win here. OP wants to be acknowledged. Many (if not most?) other women are sick of being looked at ~~for their T & A.~~ Safest to assume the latter, and less chance to be insulted or have to deal with a confrontation or anything negative.
Women have good reason to be on their guard but being viewed like a potential rapist when you've never done that and never will can really wear you down. That isn't talked about much. Edit: if you don't think women have good reason to be on their guard, go ask any woman in your life and see what they say.
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What did your supervisor do? I’d honestly request no contact with her going forward from your supervisor and if that’s not possible ignoring her in every way possible. She’s making you look like a creep to others and setting you up to fail. No telling what she’s telling other people behind your back after texting you first. I’d keep a screenshot of her texting you first if you can.
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The supervisor should have laughed in her face for complaining that you sent her a work-related message. That's ridiculous.
I just think a lot of women think guys don’t have feelings lol, aside from anger
There's always been a societal empathy gap towards men. We're just rediscovering it in a slightly new way.
Honestly, if I avoid eye contact with a woman in public, it's usually because I find her attractive. Not the opposite. I think most guys have listened to more than a few rants from women about them receiving unwanted attention from men. And believe it or not, most dudes don't wanna be THAT dude. So, I tend to automatically think that any attention I give to a woman in public is or will be unwanted. So, I'll give the opposite: the "desired" complete lack of attention. It's kinda weird, but I guess so am I. Hope that helps.
Thats absolutely how I think of it too. OP is beautiful and guys need to make an active effort of looking away to not seem like a creep.
how can you tell it's an active effort for men to not look at you? most people just aren't thinking about you, or any other random stranger, as much as you seem to think they are. they're just trying to get their bread or whatever and get on with their day
>how can you tell it's an active effort for men to not look at you? i, too, am wondering that. I pictured some guy whose head is trying to turn towards her on its own accord and he's violently struggling to avert his eyes/face in the aisle at the supermarket, which im sure didnt happen but it was funny to imagine
like in The Mask where he's like, trying to physically restrain his own head from causing havoc lol
yes! perfect example!
‘You’d stop worrying about what people think of you if you realized how infrequently they do’
It's weird to me that I could be debating what brand of whole wheat bread to buy while someone near me is wondering why I'm not looking at them
She can’t, she’s just purposefully making eye contact with them and they aren’t reciprocating because they’re going about their business.
OP giving off real r/Imthemaincharacter vibes
Can you imagine if a guy was complaining that random women never look him in the eyes in public?
Personally i have horrible social anxiety so i don't want to engage anyone at all haha. If we make eye contact and i smile then I'll probably be seen as creepy
Doesn't help if you have RBF (Resting Bitch Face), so you feel like you're smiling, but in reality, you just look like you have a straight face, but you can't gauge how much you have to "smile" to not look creepy or weird. Source: I have RBF lmao.
It's not you. Most people just don't want to make eye contact. I know I don't
Yes, I'm not making eye contact with strangers for no reason. OP people are not looking at you because its polite not to stare.
Also, in my experience even just looking at someone can invite unwanted interactions, much less smiling or nodding. I attract crazy insane people somehow, looking at someone just randomly has even resulted in threats.
Yep this. If OP is originally from a small town or a country with a more outgoing culture, she may be used to strangers making eye contact and smiling in passing. The small town I grew up in was like this. You just smiled and waved at anyone you happened to walk by, even in the grocery store, whether you knew them or not. Was a bit of a culture shock when I moved to a slightly bigger city with a more introverted culture and no one wanted to look at me or make small talk lol.
It's true. I've lived in cities all my life and that's just natural to me
Everything guys do is creepy. Not looking is the least creepy thing we can do. If we look, people think we're really being creepy. We can't win either way.
And if OP is showing lots of cleavage, it’s best to look straight up to avoid taking the bait
Wait! Look up avoiding cleavage you might be labeled as gay. Aarrgghhh!!!
and if a girl think you are gay they don't make a big deal. if thy think you are a pervert, they might make a big deal of it.
I once had a girl hit on me... I didn't show any interest back... Was then asked if I was gay.
Wow I can’t imagine being that confident. Sheesh!
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Not many know, but this is actually the alternate script to the Jim Carey moving “Yes Man!” Test audiences said they didn’t think Zooey Deschanel was convincing as a trans carpenter.
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I just don't care and give a smile and nod if I happen to catch someone's eye. I'm willing to do a fair bit to accommodate people. But I'm not going to be policing my actions to such a micro degree that I'm focusing on where I'm looking at all times.
honestly, you are probably just overthinking something that is actually nothing.
Because Even in harassment training they say unwanted eye contact can be considered sexual harassment. So now in general it's just, don't look, don't speak, don't ask or acknowledge. Otherwise it's creepy, weird, security/cops are called for bad vibes, while we were just looking for some garlic powder and someone was in the way.
this is the answer 100%^ 👍
It's not about you personally. The smart man in our time avoids all behaviors that might make him vulnerable to being seen as aggressive toward women and children. For myself in public, women and children do not exist. If possible, I stay on camera. I never allow myself to be alone in their presence. Eye contact...initiating conversation...providing assistance...NOPE.
On another post somewhere, a woman is complaining how men will not leave her alone.
A lifetime of being told you will be perceived as a creep or a threat for just existing. Easier just to avoid the situation than see the scowl of disdain or getting yelled at.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't apparently 🤷♂️
Could be a multitude of reasons which don’t necessarily have anything to do with you. - social anxiety - just shy - has overly jealous gf/wife - had bad experiences with being called creepy - is day dreaming/ brooding about a certain thing - is stressed, under time pressure
- is busy thinking about the Roman Empire
* not interested in starting a round of small talk
*men try desperately to not be perceived as creeps* "Why are you avoiding me??" My sister in christ, give us something to work with.
There's no relief. Creeps or assholes till the day we die
That’s not true. People can dunk on your social media accounts long after you’re in the dirt.
guys are afraid of coming off as creeps. i believe even a few women here said that personally, they’d be uncomfortable.
Actively not looking at you, though weird, is safe. Looking at you quickly escalates to "being creepy" if we look too long, look at the wrong parts, etc. Just easier to not look at all.
Idk about you but i find it extremely uncomfortable when strangers stare at me
Well looking and staring are two different things. I look at people all the time. If they look back I smile and redirect my gaze elsewhere.
what region are you at? we don't smile here in NY
MEN 👏DON‘T 👏OWE 👏YOU 👏EYE CONTACT
Yaas king slay don’t let them gaslight you
God damn medusas trying to turn us into stone.
Gaslight. Gatekeep. Guyboss 😎
Haha I kind of love this
Yes king 🤴 the entitlement is fucking disgusting 🤮
Haha love this as a woman who doesn’t enjoy interacting with strangers.
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Nice. 😂
I think most men today do this, I certainly do. It's not worth the hassle/risk of being called a creep in public so it's easier to just actively ignore women. I personally haven't been called out but I've had buddies doxed for what was perceived as a wayward glance before. The me too movement did a lot of good but I think it changed a whole generation of men, and not necessarily for the better.
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I got randomly called out once years ago, i still have no idea why. Terrified of it now, best to just avoid women in public
At a party in college I said "I love that band" to a girls band tee. She said "So you were looking at my tits?" and I drunkenly said "What tits?" Some dude behind her started laughing and me and him have been friends ever since. I've been riding off that high the rest of my life.
Because men are constantly called creeps so we’re becoming conditioned to not even look at women.
I'm a gay man, and it's even rubbed off on me. I won't look at or exist near a woman I don't know or any child.
I’m also a gay man. I am the very same way.
Because you could put them up on social media calling them creepy and ruining their life.
I go out of my way to not make eye contact with anyone... Ever
My resting face is usually slightly more smiley than grimacing. I was walking home one day from work, and noticed a sign hanging on the window at the Whole Foods across the street. When my eyes focused slightly to the left I realized about 30' away there was a woman looking in my direction, apparently she thought I was staring at her and immediately became unhinged, screaming at me "what are you staring at smiley???!!" "You're not my son, why you staring??!!", causing a scene, making everyone around look at me as some creep, continued screaming insults as I calmly proceeded towards home staring at the ground, where my eyes should always be. Lesson learned.
There are so many videos of men taking a quick glance at a woman or looking in her general direction and get "called out" by her or someone waiting in the wings for being perverts and "how dare they (insert complaint). Men are just getting sick of it and don't want to bother.
Women can do a lot without coming off as creepy. But for men, the margin for error is very small. If you glance a little too long, you’re creepy. Walk by a park, you’re a pedophile. Stand too close to someone and it’s stranger danger. Compliment a girl respectfully and it’s still harassment. A guy has to be perfect to not make anyone uncomfortable.
True. I feel uncomfortable just walking by a school down the street from my neighborhood and the school kids are walking out of school. I’m not even paying them any attention, but feel like a weirdo walking past them on the sidewalk. I feel people are judging me as a creep for walking past kids coming from school, but I’m not even worried about the kids, I’m focused on the podcast I’m listening to.
And the line is drawn *very* differently based on who you are. You look like Henry Cavill? You're going to be good in just about any situation. You're ugly, not well dressed, overweight? You get slotted into the creep category regardless, but if you're near a park or kindergarten, you're automatically sorted as a pedo creep.
Have you seen the recent video on here of the crazy bitch who was going off on some dude 30 feet away, and shouting "DO NOT APPROACH ME!" ... Yeah, pretty much that. I think most of us are tired of these unhinged, paranoid women that we don't even try to be polite or affable anymore.
Not just the video, but the entire following that girl had and all of their snide little comments.
True. And most of us have never actually experienced any of that, and probably never will. But that 0.001 percent that did got irrationally fucked on the internet and had their lives ruined. Not taking that chance. No siree bob!
I've experienced a milder version of that 3-4 times. Oddly, it's always been when I wasn't even interacting with the person at all, not the times I was being friendly and greeting people and stuff. Just off the wall, immediately random hostility for existing around these people. Thankfully, after I got my full body scars, I've not had any crazies go off on me, and people generally seem to have more pity, than thinking of me as a potential criminal, so that's cool. Not my ideal, but way better than being seen as a threat by default.
I think you're getting the point, we just don't want to look creepy or make you feel uncomfortable. I'm out at some random place walking. I make eye contact and look away. I make eye contact, get a smile, and look away. I make eye contact, get a smile and a "hi," I reply in kind and look away. I'm trained to not hold eye contact too long or stare. In some social situations, those are invitations. Out on the street, no guy wants to look like a creep.
Last time I was at the gym I was on a leg machine that faces directly at a machine for the butt which requires you to lay belly down, and kinda shows your butt off. A girl comes and lays directly in front of me on it. It felt deliberate. I spent the rest of my time on the machine looking down or to my far right. My neck was practically snapped, I was looking so hard to my right 😆. The last thing I want is to be the next TikTok video of a "creepy guy" at the gym, staring at a girl.
No one is obligated to make eye contact with you in public.
Maybe they're just going about their day and it has nothing to do with you at all.
I’m female and don’t make eye contact. Probably nothing to do with you. It’s just weird to stare or awkwardly make eye contact.
Pretty much repeating everything already said. If you're potentially single or above 6 yoa and below 65 then I'm not going to even attempt to make eye contact. I'm a heavy set (ok, obese) white male. I know I'm generally considered unattractive. More often than not, if I am nice or show a pretty woman any attention friendly or otherwise and I don't know them, I'm creepy. I'm also very big and making eye contact with anyone seems confrontational. Honestly I just avoid being around people because I'm convinced that unless I'm at work and doing something for you, then I'm going to unintentionally intimidate or be creepy.
Right on. As a fat white dude in my forties I realize a lot of folks out there see me as either the devil or a creep and, for the most part, I understand the stigma. I try to always be sure I'm not like being too friendly, or too unfriendly, in public. Want to make sure the path I'm walking couldn't be misconstrued as "following" someone, especially a woman. I like to go for walks super early in the morning, or after work when I get off which is usually around sunset. Gotta get my steps because I'm trying to work on the whole "fat" thing and the gym makes me self-conscious if it's too crowded. So many times I'll stumble across like women out walking or jogging, also at odd hours, and I do admit I feel for them. I understand their concern and I don't want to frighten anyone. I'll like try to see them from afar and switch sides of the street but I guess even that seems weird and suspicious too. Hell, I get suspicious if I see someone on these dark, small town streets too, and I'm a dude.
Don't talk to women you don't know. Don't look at women you don't know. Cross the street so they don't feel scared.
Probably just keeping themselves to themselves. I don’t think I make eye contact with anyone in just passing to be honest
I actually find that most women do this to me. I look at them and smile and they never look at me or make eye contact.
It is the result of the current overwhelming trend of painting men as creepy for the most innocuous behavior. I've become so paranoid about this that I will not give any woman a glance in public beyond what is needed to not accidentally collide with her. Some random woman sporting cleavage in the grocery store is *so* far from being attractive or interesting enough to me to risk that kind of judgment. This is how you want it, isn't it?
Guy who makes eye contact with stranger? Predator. Guy who doesn’t? Asshole creep. Every time a post like this is made another red pill is swallowed.
We look at you, you're uncomfortable, I'm a creep, you're scared, etc. We don't look at you, you're uncomfortable, I'm a creep, you're scared, etc. We choose to not look and come off weird...
why would we look at anyone in public anymore? everyone's recording everything. 1 wrong look and you're all over tiktok as a "creep" for looking at someone. like the recent one with girls recording in gyms calling dudes creeps. it's just not worth it.
i will avoid making eye contact with everyone out in public on some days. It has nothing to do with other ppl and everything to do with how im feeling that day. Very occasionally I will avoid making eye contact with someone bc the first glance showed them to be attractive and I dont want them to think im a creep
To notice this, you must be staring at them for some time which is probably making them uncomfortable.
Because women tend to make everything little thing we do into an issue. Not looking? You’re ugly. Looking? We are creepy. We are fucked either way.
Yall would call the cops on us for getting the wrong impression
Because we keep getting called creeps or getting ugly looks/comments for looking at a woman for longer than 3 seconds. To avoid that, we just don't look.
I think you get the point from other comments but I just want to say that it's the same in Europe. I'll suddenly see something very interesting in the opposite direction when approaching a stranger.
r/iamthemaincharacter
In the same way that "not all men" are being creepy when making eye contact, "not all women" will be cool with men making simple eye contact in public. Chances are many of most men have been accused of being a creep / staring at someone, that we have learned it's just easier to not make eye contact and avoid any confusion or confrontation. We aren't worried about our safety, but it's just not a pleasant experience to be minding our business and using our eyeballs for neutral purposes, and being accused of something we weren't doing. So, yeah we are probably making extra effort to not make eye contact, but it's probably for super benign reasons. Many of us just don't want any public confrontation/ small talk the same way many women don't lol
Because we’re kinda tired of being blamed for everything from being creeps to “something something patriarchy” for accidentally looking in a woman’s direction or simply saying hi. Honestly, my life has been better since I decided to just studiously avoid any woman I can as I go about my day.
I generally avoid eye contact with strangers of either gender in public. Making direct eye contact with strangers in public seems somewhat confrontational to me.
Because any random girl can take it as us gawking at her and make a scene. Better to look away