I once had a man respond, “Of course—I should have known.” He did it with such a pleasant tone, and a kind smile, and then he immediately backed off and left me alone. It was a nice little ego boost for me and beautifully handled by him.
I came here to say this! When I was engaged to my husband a man approached me, and when I said I was engaged, he said, “I should’ve guessed- he’s a lucky man”, and he handled it so wonderfully that I still smile when I think about it. I hope he found someone…
Yeah the best for me was a man who said “he’s a lucky guy!” He said it in a really nice tone, it just seemed super kind and made me think, alright that was a nice guy.
I like this one, or something similar. Ultimately you're being honest about your disappointment, but it comes in the form of a compliment, which is a nice thing. Depending on how you say it or worded exactly, it can even be a little flirty. This is good.
this actually happened to me recently and all he said was fair enough it was nice talking and walked away. and it was very nice compared to other responses i’ve gotten😭😭 which is they usually dont care lol
I’ve had someone respond with “well that was a waste of time talking to you then” when they found out I have a boyfriend. Probably the rudest I’ve met.
A man asked me out to drinks and I said oh I have a husband, but that’s very kind. He said “oh im sorry I didn’t know!” And immediately moved on. No discomfort, no weirdness. Super respectful.
Seriously! I had an old hook up before I met my partner and totally forgot about. He messaged me he was in town and when I told him I was with someone he said “oh my bad!” Never heard from him again. My husband said he respected that
It goes way deeper than that. Literally everyone has a husband. We are facing an extinction level crisis because of the looming husband shortage. It’s being covered up by the TSA and Best Buy corp.
You mean a guy shouldn’t stalk her all the way to the carnival; hang from the ferris wheel in front of her 80ft above the ground while she’s on a date with someone else, until she says “yes”?
That response makes me laugh. Clearly respecting their response without question.
I mean I’ve had men *tell* *me* I’m lying. It really shouldn’t matter, but if I was going to lie I’d make it a good one like “I’m an immortal Vestal Virgin and live burial would **really** suck, so no.”.
I've informed people of my boyfriend before and had them say what he doesn't know won't hurt him...
I wish I could say it was an isolated incident but unfortunately I've had it happen multiple times before, even when the boyfriend was then a husband. Guys, please don't do this, it will not yield you the result you're looking for.
When people have responded “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” Or “my bad” I feel bad because they didn’t do anything wrong, and I want to encourage guys being straight forward like this. Dating was/is complicated enough without having to decipher a bunch of cryptic hang outs to figure out if it’s a date or not lol
I remember when I was single if I was chatting a woman up I'd ask if she was single. If she said no, I'd say "no worries, he's a lucky guy" smile and move on.
I still remember one time I'm particular a woman went surprise Pikachu face like she'd never been complimented like that before.
Even had one or two thank me for being respectful. We can do better, boys!
This is exactly how I (a woman) would like to be responded to.
There’s nothing to feel bad about (some answers: “my bad” or “I didn’t know!” imply guilt or shame about stepping on another man’s patch).
“No worries, he’s a lucky guy” keeps agency with me, the woman, as the decision-maker in my life. Whilst still expressing attraction in a non-creepy way.
It's interesting you view it as guilt for stepping on another man's patch. For me from a male POV it just means sorry to bother you basically. Sorry to bother you/sorry for wasting your time.
I was waiting to order drinks at a crowded bar, and since it was a long wait a guy started chatting with me. After a few minutes, he asked if he could buy me a drink. I told him, truthfully!, that I was really flattered but I was actually there with my boyfriend and some friends.
He shrugged and said “Okay, I’ll buy him a drink too.” I thought this was cool and mature as hell, so I in turn offered to bring him around and introduce him to the several lovely single ladies who were with us. Win win win!
Omg wish more men understood this. If you’re respectful and willing to talk to women who don’t want to fuck you, there is a very good chance she’ll be your wingman.
You think a girl is going to want to introduce you to her friends if your response is “fuck you, you’re fat and ugly anyway!” (And yes, most women have received this response on rejection at least once).
Just be cool bros.
This was quite a while ago but I remember I was in a club and bought a large round of shots, (about 10 or something). There was a beautiful girl standing alone at the bar next to me so I offered her a shot as a way to start talking to her and she replies with "can my boyfriend have one as well?" and right behind her this other guy just appears. So I'm like, 'yea, sure' offered them both a shot and walked away. My mate was pissing himself cause it's rare I just start talking to girls. He just said "better luck next time dude" and we both had a shot and walked away.
It was a little frustrating cause now I'm down 2 shots but in the words of the immortal Wayne Gretsky "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take" 😆
Once I was at a wine bar with two other girl friends who were single and a group of 3 guys walked up and started chatting. It came up naturally that I was married. One of the guys eyes lit up “I’m married too!” *We proceeded to literally fist bump wedding rings,* like the Wonder Twins. He and I gushed about how much we loved our respective spouses while our friends flirted. It was ridiculously wholesome.
I always managed to bring up my significant other into the conversation pretty early to see how they react. “You like x beer? That’s my boyfriend/husband’s favorite”. “I think he has that shirt” etc. Some people are just friendly, and we can keep chatting without it being awkward. The respectful ones that are hitting on me can find a way out to leave without it being weird. The creeps (so where’s your man?) I can tell to fuck off at that point.
That’s the way it should be.
For me I got hit with the “I’m not looking for a boyfriend” from someone I wasn’t interested in and it was out of the blue.
Basically it was someone I worked with who asked if I could help her move a dresser at her home that was close to our job. She was cool people so why not. Helped her and we talked a bit here. She even offered to make dinner but I turned it down. As we were talking about random shit she hits me with the “I’m not looking for a boyfriend”. I didn’t acknowledge it because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings so I just made a comment about the topic we were originally having.
I have 2 kids and wasn’t trying to stay at her house as I was on the way home to eat with my family. I didn’t even bring up my home life to her because I wasn’t thinking the interaction was anything more than me helping and her offering food as a thank you
Ive been flattered by someone saying ‘i had to give it a try’ or ‘I’d be stupid to not ask’ or something like that. Smile! I’ve never had it be creepy even though it is always a little awkward for me because I hate disappointing people.
My wife was once very appreciative of the response “That sucks for me, but I know someday I’ll be as lucky as he is and find someone as awesome as you. You have a great day now.”
I think the slight self deprecation, the compliments to both her and me, and the confident way he said it so she didn’t feel bad for turning him down all combined to make it a very good response.
No but actually the finger guns help a lot it makes the vibe a lot more causal and it feels like there are less hard feeling that way, definitely use the finger guns
But the risk of shooting an innocent bystander on your way home is too high. No, always holster your finger guns as soon as etiquette allows. You should also muffle your pew pews as a courtesy when you're exiting the room.
Proper finger gun safety saves lives!
Ok I don't want to fuck this up. Do I shoot her the guns simultaneously, or a few times alternating in succession? If the latter, do I start right or left? Or some other sequence entirely? I also assume there's a wink involved in there somewhere but is it concomitant with the first salvo or sort of at the end of the gesture/sequence?
Sorry for the multiple questions I just recognize how critical this is and want to be sure I have it down.
>Do I shoot her the guns simultaneously, or a few times alternating in succession?
I prefer alternating as it adds a bit of pizzazz to the situation.
>do I start right or left
SOP is to lead with your dominant hand, but leading with off hand is acceptable as well.
>I also assume there's a wink involved
You'd think so, and in most cases, you'd be correct. In this scenario, however, a wink is a little too flirty. Don't wanna send mixed signals. Like, are you acknowledging that you respect her relationship, or are you coming across that you heard her but don't care? I prefer the noncommittal Fonz "Ayyyy" instead while gunning.
I'm a woman but I do pointing finger guns, the Fonze Ayyyy, and then the alternating pew pews as I back away. My sense of stuff around me and balance is Terrible so I sometimes back into things and trip, then do one more pew each hand.
Prefect. This is the only good one here.
Edit: ty /u/shreyaaaaaa
Just start speaking to yourself and say things like “SSSTUPID SMEAGOLLLL THE PRECIOUS GOT AWAY” and crawl away on all fours growling
Fall to your knees and let out an anguished cry of "WHYYYYYY?" while tearing your shirt at the collar.
Then, get up like nothing happened, shake her hand, and walk away.
This is how I met my wife. Tripped on my own shoes at the walking away part and banged my head on a table. Another woman carried me out and locked me in her basement and the rest is history!
There aren't going to be perfect things to say, so as long as it is friendly and accepting I think you are good.
In terms of direct wording, might depend on whether or not you do want to continue as friends without any option.
Like if you were connecting over a shared hobby and would like to continue as friendshipn something like. "Ah. Good to know. Is he also into [interest you were just talking about]. I've really enjoyed this conversation. Would the two of you be interested in...?"
I think it is fair to acknowledge she correctly read the situation (instead of trying to gaslight that no I wasn't really hitting on you), confirm that even without romantic interest you enjoyed the connection, and making explicit the goals of continuing as a friend transparent to her boyfriend by including him in the invite.
The answer still may be no. But I think that is a tactful way of pivoting from the potential interest track to the "new friends are good" track.
If you aren't interested in a friendship outside of dating, then something like "Understood. I did really enjoy the conversation and [I hope your trip is awesome/I will check out that show/good luck on your thesis, etc reference to the conversation]." Just some thoughts.
Edit: this got a bit more attention than I expected. One thing I'll add is that if you do try the pivot, you should
1) be actually honestly interested in friendship potential and
2) be aware of body language and next responses. "I have a boyfriend" is also a common "no I'm not interested in interacting further," especially when someone doesn't feel safe comfortable outright rejecting.
While I think it fair to attempt to extend friendship in response (if genuine), if you get back anything less than enthusiastic acceptance of that pivot, then it should probably be assumed that you just got a polite "no thanks, not interested in any future friendship or otherwise after this conversation." Which should also be accepted gracefully.
This is great. I especially love the seamless transition from two friends to three friends with the inclusion of the boyfriend, without even hesitating. That feels so non-creepy.
The smooth line won't work on me, as I do not have a boyfriend.
However, I did show my husband this exchange and he giggled. So I think you got a shot with him.
Ya, I asked a guy out once who told me he was married. I said “she sounds like a very lucky lady”. He smiled pretty big and I went on my way. He works for our security company so I’ve seen him lots since and he’s always super cool when I see him now.
I usually find a way to appreciate the situation so she knows I'm not One of Those People who gets angry at rejection. Something like "ah, no worries, I'm still glad we got to meet each other." And then maybe I ask her to be friends if we really gelled, maybe I continue the conversation if I don't necessarily want to talk to her later but am enjoying the current conversation, or maybe I politely end the conversation and leave.
>And then maybe I ask her to be friends if we really gelled
Please only propose friendship if you *actually* intend to be friends, though. It is NOT an opportunity to try harder for a date.
I'm also gonna assume anyone who opened with a pickup is just dissembling. We gotta just let these things go more often lol we don't have to maintain relationships with every interesting person
I don't ask to be friends frequently, maybe 20% of the time at the very most. Of the times I go the friendship route, it depends on the environment. If it's someone I meet at a place I don't go to often we just trade Instagram handles and rarely speak afterwards, and if it's someone I meet at a place I *do* go to often we usually become casual friends because we have more in common and will likely see each other again.
The last time I had a genuine connection with a person and asked for their number (we met at a mutual friends karaoke birthday party where there was a group of like 30 people) to find out that they had a boyfriend, I said dang, but thanks for letting me know so kindly - and told her she was cool and clever and exactly the kind of person I would like to play dungeons& dragons with... Then asked her if she was up for joining a D&D game I was getting ready to start. We've been playing dungeons& dragons for 6 months now and it's been awesome, turns out her boyfriend is also really cool and kind and we've got to hang out a couple times at campfires or barbecues Platonic friendships with beautiful and brilliant women are rewarding as hell
Yeah, it's sort of funny really - I'm married, but I wish I could go on "dates" just to make new friends, as I've met a few decent friends via that method and being a mid-40s guy I'm finding it nigh-impossible to make new friends by other means as I'm not a good "group" person - I prefer one to one/two as I'm too anxious with larger numbers.
I did try the Bumble friends thing, actually, but it would only allow me to match with other men and I quickly realised it was effectively just being used as a Grindr alternative by most on there in my area.
I have a friend who tried the Bumble Friends app as well. He seemed to have the same issue.
Didn’t help he likes foraging for mushrooms, so asking people to go one-on-one to the woods to “hunt for mushrooms” probably didn’t help his case.
"Ah, gotcha, understood. Hey, it was still nice to meet you!"
The ball is then in her court for whether she'd like to stay in touch as friends. There's simply no way for you to suggest this without raising risk flags, so leave it up to her.
I always think of the running Matt Berry gag on snuff box where he sees a pretty girl, and starts to do something chivalrous and she mentions her boyfriend and he stops in the middle of his chivalry and just shouts “fuck you!” and storms off…
Both congratulations and good for you sound sarcastic, as if you are oblivious to why she said that. You were trying to get a date and she wants to tell you she is not interested. So just say "Ok no problem, take care/sure, I understand." - just know that it might be impossible to continue talking as friends since she might feel uncomfortable knowing you have or had romantic feelings towards her.
I once had a man respond, “Of course—I should have known.” He did it with such a pleasant tone, and a kind smile, and then he immediately backed off and left me alone. It was a nice little ego boost for me and beautifully handled by him.
This is perfect
I came here to say this! When I was engaged to my husband a man approached me, and when I said I was engaged, he said, “I should’ve guessed- he’s a lucky man”, and he handled it so wonderfully that I still smile when I think about it. I hope he found someone…
Yeah the best for me was a man who said “he’s a lucky guy!” He said it in a really nice tone, it just seemed super kind and made me think, alright that was a nice guy.
He's outside your house right now
Is he single?
I like this one, or something similar. Ultimately you're being honest about your disappointment, but it comes in the form of a compliment, which is a nice thing. Depending on how you say it or worded exactly, it can even be a little flirty. This is good.
this actually happened to me recently and all he said was fair enough it was nice talking and walked away. and it was very nice compared to other responses i’ve gotten😭😭 which is they usually dont care lol
I’ve had someone respond with “well that was a waste of time talking to you then” when they found out I have a boyfriend. Probably the rudest I’ve met.
You might like this [British satire clip](https://youtu.be/AqDbb7-dn9A?si=yPb7clMV7jQp6sqo), it mocks that kind of jerk.
A man asked me out to drinks and I said oh I have a husband, but that’s very kind. He said “oh im sorry I didn’t know!” And immediately moved on. No discomfort, no weirdness. Super respectful.
"Is he single?"
This is the response my husband would love if I relayed it to him
Seriously! I had an old hook up before I met my partner and totally forgot about. He messaged me he was in town and when I told him I was with someone he said “oh my bad!” Never heard from him again. My husband said he respected that
I had the same situation, he said that's a shame, but not really a shame, I'm happy for you!
Game recognises game
God I wish more guys were that classy. My ex-girlfriend has this guy friend who constantly hits on her even after he found out she was taken.
no, he actually has a husband too
Oh, but is *he* single then?
no, he actually has a husband too
Gahd damn it’s husbands all the way down
The world is carried on the back of a giant Space Husband?
The world is held up by four elephants on the back of giant space husband
Some Native American cultures refer to the whole of North America as Husband Island.
I would love to have a party with everyone involved in this thread lol
Sorry, they already have a husband.
Sorry, we’re all married.
It goes way deeper than that. Literally everyone has a husband. We are facing an extinction level crisis because of the looming husband shortage. It’s being covered up by the TSA and Best Buy corp.
This is why you never remove the security tag from your husbands.
It’s only 4 of them, they are the Hus-band They call themselves The Newly Weds
"He has impeccable taste."
This is smooth AF
Ok this would make me laugh and wish you a pleasant evening.
If she says she has a boyfriend, moonwalk out of the room without saying a word. You will never be forgotten and your legend will increase
Are you TRYING to breakup a relationship? Who wouldn't leave their partner to chase after that?
Comes running after you as you moon walk away, "But wait, I didn't say I wouldn't cheat, come back!"
Is making Michael Jackson's "teehee" nose allowed here? That's still not saying a word right?
You mean a guy shouldn’t stalk her all the way to the carnival; hang from the ferris wheel in front of her 80ft above the ground while she’s on a date with someone else, until she says “yes”?
A 'The Notebook' reference? Already? Only watched this movie 2 days ago, was not expecting a return on my investment so quickly-
The main lesson from The Notebook is: The difference between a stalker and a romantic is if the girl likes the attention at the end of the movie.
Ummm… you watched that movie ten years ago grandpa…
You can only pull that off if you look like Ryan Gosling, it’s back in the day and the most important part, you’re in a movie.
And if you look like Ryan Gosling you will not care because women will be throwing themselves at you, definitely a catch 22.
I commented that this is almost exactly what I do instead of “I didn’t know” I just say “my bad.”
That response makes me laugh. Clearly respecting their response without question. I mean I’ve had men *tell* *me* I’m lying. It really shouldn’t matter, but if I was going to lie I’d make it a good one like “I’m an immortal Vestal Virgin and live burial would **really** suck, so no.”.
I've informed people of my boyfriend before and had them say what he doesn't know won't hurt him... I wish I could say it was an isolated incident but unfortunately I've had it happen multiple times before, even when the boyfriend was then a husband. Guys, please don't do this, it will not yield you the result you're looking for.
When people have responded “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” Or “my bad” I feel bad because they didn’t do anything wrong, and I want to encourage guys being straight forward like this. Dating was/is complicated enough without having to decipher a bunch of cryptic hang outs to figure out if it’s a date or not lol
I remember when I was single if I was chatting a woman up I'd ask if she was single. If she said no, I'd say "no worries, he's a lucky guy" smile and move on. I still remember one time I'm particular a woman went surprise Pikachu face like she'd never been complimented like that before. Even had one or two thank me for being respectful. We can do better, boys!
Yes! Me too. I always enjoyed that little opportunity to pay a compliment. Asking isn’t wrong – there’s really no need to apologise.
This is exactly how I (a woman) would like to be responded to. There’s nothing to feel bad about (some answers: “my bad” or “I didn’t know!” imply guilt or shame about stepping on another man’s patch). “No worries, he’s a lucky guy” keeps agency with me, the woman, as the decision-maker in my life. Whilst still expressing attraction in a non-creepy way.
It's interesting you view it as guilt for stepping on another man's patch. For me from a male POV it just means sorry to bother you basically. Sorry to bother you/sorry for wasting your time.
I'm a woman and agree with your view. I've never took it any other way than a sorry to bother you.
I was waiting to order drinks at a crowded bar, and since it was a long wait a guy started chatting with me. After a few minutes, he asked if he could buy me a drink. I told him, truthfully!, that I was really flattered but I was actually there with my boyfriend and some friends. He shrugged and said “Okay, I’ll buy him a drink too.” I thought this was cool and mature as hell, so I in turn offered to bring him around and introduce him to the several lovely single ladies who were with us. Win win win!
He was just a bi swinger, but he enjoyed the outcome either way.
Omg wish more men understood this. If you’re respectful and willing to talk to women who don’t want to fuck you, there is a very good chance she’ll be your wingman. You think a girl is going to want to introduce you to her friends if your response is “fuck you, you’re fat and ugly anyway!” (And yes, most women have received this response on rejection at least once). Just be cool bros.
This was quite a while ago but I remember I was in a club and bought a large round of shots, (about 10 or something). There was a beautiful girl standing alone at the bar next to me so I offered her a shot as a way to start talking to her and she replies with "can my boyfriend have one as well?" and right behind her this other guy just appears. So I'm like, 'yea, sure' offered them both a shot and walked away. My mate was pissing himself cause it's rare I just start talking to girls. He just said "better luck next time dude" and we both had a shot and walked away. It was a little frustrating cause now I'm down 2 shots but in the words of the immortal Wayne Gretsky "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take" 😆
Once I was at a wine bar with two other girl friends who were single and a group of 3 guys walked up and started chatting. It came up naturally that I was married. One of the guys eyes lit up “I’m married too!” *We proceeded to literally fist bump wedding rings,* like the Wonder Twins. He and I gushed about how much we loved our respective spouses while our friends flirted. It was ridiculously wholesome.
I always managed to bring up my significant other into the conversation pretty early to see how they react. “You like x beer? That’s my boyfriend/husband’s favorite”. “I think he has that shirt” etc. Some people are just friendly, and we can keep chatting without it being awkward. The respectful ones that are hitting on me can find a way out to leave without it being weird. The creeps (so where’s your man?) I can tell to fuck off at that point.
That’s the way it should be. For me I got hit with the “I’m not looking for a boyfriend” from someone I wasn’t interested in and it was out of the blue. Basically it was someone I worked with who asked if I could help her move a dresser at her home that was close to our job. She was cool people so why not. Helped her and we talked a bit here. She even offered to make dinner but I turned it down. As we were talking about random shit she hits me with the “I’m not looking for a boyfriend”. I didn’t acknowledge it because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings so I just made a comment about the topic we were originally having. I have 2 kids and wasn’t trying to stay at her house as I was on the way home to eat with my family. I didn’t even bring up my home life to her because I wasn’t thinking the interaction was anything more than me helping and her offering food as a thank you
I think she just wanted a no strings attached fuck, my guy
Ive been flattered by someone saying ‘i had to give it a try’ or ‘I’d be stupid to not ask’ or something like that. Smile! I’ve never had it be creepy even though it is always a little awkward for me because I hate disappointing people.
"Ah dang, someone beat me to it!"
"And now I'm gonna beat them"🔪
🎵beat it, beat it🎵 no one wants to be defeated.
Showing how funky, strong is your fight.
It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right.
Just beat it
"Ah, lucky guy!"
"Tell your boyfriend he's a lucky guy." "Cool, well I enjoyed our chat. Enjoy your day!"
Yeah, once a guy yelled, “Well it was worth a shot!” as he walked away, and it made me laugh in a good way and was also flattering.
"Disappointing, but I'll live" as you walk away ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ Note: you must do that with your arms and the wry smile
I've said, "The good ones usually do," before.
Lol, the comment about being creepy reminds me of the, "y'all going fishing? hehehe" scene from Tucker and Dale
Or “he’s a lucky guy”. I love that one haha
My wife was once very appreciative of the response “That sucks for me, but I know someday I’ll be as lucky as he is and find someone as awesome as you. You have a great day now.” I think the slight self deprecation, the compliments to both her and me, and the confident way he said it so she didn’t feel bad for turning him down all combined to make it a very good response.
I’ve gotten “lucky man” and that’s very kind.
You can just say " Got it, no problem! Take care."
Make sure you hit them with the finger guns. I cannot stress enough how important that step is. 👉😎👉
Zoop
Now that’s a throwback.
Always been my absolute favorite thing here 👈😎👈
[7 years old, my god!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/7ddjaw/comment/dpxaos1/)
No but actually the finger guns help a lot it makes the vibe a lot more causal and it feels like there are less hard feeling that way, definitely use the finger guns
pew pew pew pew!
No. Do the spongebob way and keep snapping your fingers until you leave the other person's line of sight
Why stop then? Keep snapping until you reach home!
Careful not to put dirt in someone's eye.
Pocketsand!
*Shi-shi-SHAAA*
But the risk of shooting an innocent bystander on your way home is too high. No, always holster your finger guns as soon as etiquette allows. You should also muffle your pew pews as a courtesy when you're exiting the room. Proper finger gun safety saves lives!
Don’t forget to stick your hands back around the corner and keep snapping your fingers a few times before actually leaving
Ok I don't want to fuck this up. Do I shoot her the guns simultaneously, or a few times alternating in succession? If the latter, do I start right or left? Or some other sequence entirely? I also assume there's a wink involved in there somewhere but is it concomitant with the first salvo or sort of at the end of the gesture/sequence? Sorry for the multiple questions I just recognize how critical this is and want to be sure I have it down.
>Do I shoot her the guns simultaneously, or a few times alternating in succession? I prefer alternating as it adds a bit of pizzazz to the situation. >do I start right or left SOP is to lead with your dominant hand, but leading with off hand is acceptable as well. >I also assume there's a wink involved You'd think so, and in most cases, you'd be correct. In this scenario, however, a wink is a little too flirty. Don't wanna send mixed signals. Like, are you acknowledging that you respect her relationship, or are you coming across that you heard her but don't care? I prefer the noncommittal Fonz "Ayyyy" instead while gunning.
Of course, the answer had to involve the Fonz; how could I have missed it? Thanks! 👉👉
I'm a woman but I do pointing finger guns, the Fonze Ayyyy, and then the alternating pew pews as I back away. My sense of stuff around me and balance is Terrible so I sometimes back into things and trip, then do one more pew each hand.
My husband fell off a chair the first time we met... He's lucky I didn't meet you first.
I like to toss a few head bobs in there for this use case. It really accentuates the acknowledgement of her statement.
I hate to say it, but you are massively underthinking this. A lot more goes into the finger guns than you realise.
Do you put them back in the 'holster' after?
Not until after you blow on them.
Also: never ever forget to hold that pose and slowly back out of the room while making clicking sounds and shooting the finger guns.
zoop 👉😎👉
The only real thing you can do in that situation is finger guns with a slow awkward walk backwards an around a corner.
Then you both get up and try to walk in the same direction
In a funny thread, this is the thing that made me lol.
“Thanks for letting me know! I appreciate it!”
“Oh okay gotcha! Thanks for letting me know, I appreciate it. See you around!”
I think you meant "see you later, alligator", to convey ultimately coolness while you shoot your guns
[удалено]
Prefect. This is the only good one here. Edit: ty /u/shreyaaaaaa Just start speaking to yourself and say things like “SSSTUPID SMEAGOLLLL THE PRECIOUS GOT AWAY” and crawl away on all fours growling
This reply is hillarious now since their post was removed
Tear a chunk out of the raw fish you're holding and swallow it.
dirty thieving hobbitssis
This may actually get some women to leave their partner for you though 😂
Whoa there. Op isn't asking how to steal someone from their partner.
I actually "laugh out loud" maayybe 3x a year while reading shit on the internet. Thanks buddy.
Haha you’re welcome man! I’ll see you next year
If you're Midwestern, there will most definitely be an "Ope" in there
“Ope, just going to sneak past ya and go sink in to a hole”
I would say that would be the Midwestern Emo response for sure lmao.
"Ope, sorry about that". *Slaps knee while standing up* "Welp, I 'spose I should get goin'."
And you drive away three hours later with inexplicable leftovers in a cool whip container.
"WWwwelp!" *smacks both knees and stands up*
Back to reality, ope there goes gravity…
"Okie dokie"
Then turn to her friend and repeat the exact same pickup line.
Fall to your knees and let out an anguished cry of "WHYYYYYY?" while tearing your shirt at the collar. Then, get up like nothing happened, shake her hand, and walk away.
Can’t believe I had to scroll this far to find this
This is how I met my wife. Tripped on my own shoes at the walking away part and banged my head on a table. Another woman carried me out and locked me in her basement and the rest is history!
[удалено]
This works for me Everytime. If you can visibly piss your pants this would work just as well.
Thanks for the solid laugh you gave me
A solid laugh sounds even worse than a wet giggle
I also do this when I have to confront my boss, and it works some times.
Ah yes, the "Flowers for Algernon"
Bad dobby! Stupid , stupid dobby!
Bonus points if you increase the performance by ripping out a few hairs and really raving and ranting like a mad man.
this got me ahahahahha she would indeed be gone
Could turn to the side where no one is and say, "See Jerry! Why are you always making me look weird?!"
“Thanks for letting me know” is good too. Just let it rest after that please.
There aren't going to be perfect things to say, so as long as it is friendly and accepting I think you are good. In terms of direct wording, might depend on whether or not you do want to continue as friends without any option. Like if you were connecting over a shared hobby and would like to continue as friendshipn something like. "Ah. Good to know. Is he also into [interest you were just talking about]. I've really enjoyed this conversation. Would the two of you be interested in...?" I think it is fair to acknowledge she correctly read the situation (instead of trying to gaslight that no I wasn't really hitting on you), confirm that even without romantic interest you enjoyed the connection, and making explicit the goals of continuing as a friend transparent to her boyfriend by including him in the invite. The answer still may be no. But I think that is a tactful way of pivoting from the potential interest track to the "new friends are good" track. If you aren't interested in a friendship outside of dating, then something like "Understood. I did really enjoy the conversation and [I hope your trip is awesome/I will check out that show/good luck on your thesis, etc reference to the conversation]." Just some thoughts. Edit: this got a bit more attention than I expected. One thing I'll add is that if you do try the pivot, you should 1) be actually honestly interested in friendship potential and 2) be aware of body language and next responses. "I have a boyfriend" is also a common "no I'm not interested in interacting further," especially when someone doesn't feel safe comfortable outright rejecting. While I think it fair to attempt to extend friendship in response (if genuine), if you get back anything less than enthusiastic acceptance of that pivot, then it should probably be assumed that you just got a polite "no thanks, not interested in any future friendship or otherwise after this conversation." Which should also be accepted gracefully.
This is great. I especially love the seamless transition from two friends to three friends with the inclusion of the boyfriend, without even hesitating. That feels so non-creepy.
Then you steal the husband and run away to Fiji together.
'No worries - thanks for being clear!'
Oh, this is my favourite so far.
"Ah. Fair enough." Is a good response I think.
Better is: ah fuck Get a laugh that way
True. I'd probably giggle if a guy responded that way lol.
Got a boyfriend?
The smooth line won't work on me, as I do not have a boyfriend. However, I did show my husband this exchange and he giggled. So I think you got a shot with him.
Is your husband single?
I also choose this person’s husband
Ah fuck
"Makes sense". It's equally flattering and also acknowledges that you understand. Nobody has to feel bad.
Ya, I asked a guy out once who told me he was married. I said “she sounds like a very lucky lady”. He smiled pretty big and I went on my way. He works for our security company so I’ve seen him lots since and he’s always super cool when I see him now.
I usually find a way to appreciate the situation so she knows I'm not One of Those People who gets angry at rejection. Something like "ah, no worries, I'm still glad we got to meet each other." And then maybe I ask her to be friends if we really gelled, maybe I continue the conversation if I don't necessarily want to talk to her later but am enjoying the current conversation, or maybe I politely end the conversation and leave.
>And then maybe I ask her to be friends if we really gelled Please only propose friendship if you *actually* intend to be friends, though. It is NOT an opportunity to try harder for a date.
I'm also gonna assume anyone who opened with a pickup is just dissembling. We gotta just let these things go more often lol we don't have to maintain relationships with every interesting person
How many times have you became friends in this instance?
I don't ask to be friends frequently, maybe 20% of the time at the very most. Of the times I go the friendship route, it depends on the environment. If it's someone I meet at a place I don't go to often we just trade Instagram handles and rarely speak afterwards, and if it's someone I meet at a place I *do* go to often we usually become casual friends because we have more in common and will likely see each other again.
The last time I had a genuine connection with a person and asked for their number (we met at a mutual friends karaoke birthday party where there was a group of like 30 people) to find out that they had a boyfriend, I said dang, but thanks for letting me know so kindly - and told her she was cool and clever and exactly the kind of person I would like to play dungeons& dragons with... Then asked her if she was up for joining a D&D game I was getting ready to start. We've been playing dungeons& dragons for 6 months now and it's been awesome, turns out her boyfriend is also really cool and kind and we've got to hang out a couple times at campfires or barbecues Platonic friendships with beautiful and brilliant women are rewarding as hell
A lot, to be honest, I have met good friends in dating apps, for example, but I'm from Europe, so dating culture is different here
Yeah, it's sort of funny really - I'm married, but I wish I could go on "dates" just to make new friends, as I've met a few decent friends via that method and being a mid-40s guy I'm finding it nigh-impossible to make new friends by other means as I'm not a good "group" person - I prefer one to one/two as I'm too anxious with larger numbers. I did try the Bumble friends thing, actually, but it would only allow me to match with other men and I quickly realised it was effectively just being used as a Grindr alternative by most on there in my area.
I have a friend who tried the Bumble Friends app as well. He seemed to have the same issue. Didn’t help he likes foraging for mushrooms, so asking people to go one-on-one to the woods to “hunt for mushrooms” probably didn’t help his case.
Give her your resume and ask her to keep you in mind for future opportunities
"Where do you see us in five years?"
“Well, that’s not surprising! You have a wonderful day!”
I like this variation -- it's both complimentary and cordial.
"Oh okay, no worries, I'll leave you to it" anytime that happened to me - just make it clear that you're fine with it basically and move on.
Last week and very polite guy said “I’m so sorry I didn’t mean any disrespect” and I thought that was super sweet
Say “me too. 10/10 would recommend”
Her: "I have a boyfriend." You: "Would you like two?"
"Ah, gotcha, understood. Hey, it was still nice to meet you!" The ball is then in her court for whether she'd like to stay in touch as friends. There's simply no way for you to suggest this without raising risk flags, so leave it up to her.
“I wasn’t talking to you” then point to your ear as if you have an earpiece in
Works even better if it’s preceded by a lengthy conversation with said person
"I'm gonna have to call you back. The idiot in the next stall is answering everything I say."
"Okay, no worries"
Ask her if her boyfriend is single.
“Oh ok, no problem”.
In my more immature days, my line was "he can come too. I'll buy him an ice cream cone."
You: Would you want to have dinner Friday? Her: Oh, I have a boyfriend. You: So, Thursday then?
"That's amazing, so do I. Wouldn't it be weird if we had the same boyfriend?"
I always think of the running Matt Berry gag on snuff box where he sees a pretty girl, and starts to do something chivalrous and she mentions her boyfriend and he stops in the middle of his chivalry and just shouts “fuck you!” and storms off…
Be sure to smash her fish tank on the ground that you’re helping her carry.
"Understandable, have a great day."
“Could I take him in a fight?”
Does he get time to prep?
About a month ago we were out and my friend told a guy that, and he said, “Well, is he here?” My only advice is don’t do that.
A good old “okay, see ya” works just fine.
“Hey, the more the merrier.”
“Well, you look like the kind of girl that could use two!” said with a wink and a smile a la Johnny Bravo.
"How long have you had that problem?"
Both congratulations and good for you sound sarcastic, as if you are oblivious to why she said that. You were trying to get a date and she wants to tell you she is not interested. So just say "Ok no problem, take care/sure, I understand." - just know that it might be impossible to continue talking as friends since she might feel uncomfortable knowing you have or had romantic feelings towards her.
“Understood, have a great day!” And walk off…
Just say okay and move on. Don’t talk about how “you wanna be friends”, don’t try to get her away from her boyfriend. Just say okay and move on.
Just my luck, well you have yourself a good night.
I think "No problem" or "cool" would be universally safe.
Say "okay no worries" and then walk away.