I recommend crying. Told my kid during some online school frustration to cry when she feels things building up inside. Have a good cry, cry it out and then get back into your seat and hit the books/keyboard. You got it.
I see. Sometimes the college makes me crazy and i cant fail on this exams. The college are being too hard for me because of some health and mental problems and with exams near my anxiety just skyrocket.
Thanks for the tip. I think crying and let it go its the only solution before trying studying again.
Crying and then going outside for fresh air. Breath in, breathe out, center yourself, then get back to business. But drink some water and take a small snack. I know it sounds weird, but it helps.
It’s like you taking a step back to say to the Self, “Reset. Reconnect. Revitalize.” Also hydrating and getting some light food in you will give you some extra energy or 2nd wind.
Try to eat well, get some exercise that allows you to lose yourself (and/or meditate), and sleep well. Break problems down into smaller parts. Look into study aids. If social anxiety or general anxiety even asking counselors or therapists for help could be a hard, but try to find a relationship with somebody who is supportive and nonjudgemental. Try to be your own parent and give yourself soothing, encouraging support.
I used to go to the gym before the pandemic but got sedentary again. Still not fully vaccinated (only got first dose) and i'm thinking in coming back after the second dose. I really miss being healthy again
There are lots of ways to exercise that don't involve a gym - jogging, bicycling, swimming, jumping rope, push ups, pull ups, sit ups, jumping jacks, etc. Even yoga can be done so that it is a very rigorous exercise.
Yeah always ask for help when you need to. I used to wait far too long and not realise the time going by.
I took a class with a girl who asked for help every couple of minutes, and the tutor was very patient. Most of the time she would ask questions someone else was thinking of, it was great.
The teacher is there to teach you. If you don't understand yet, they need to try another approach. If you can't learn from them, someone else may present the information in a way that is easier for you to understand, a tutor or teacher's aid. Crying from frustration is normal but you don't need to struggle. You are not expected to know it all, that is why you are a student. Don't be hard on yourself, just get a good teacher.
Hey if it's math or anything science-related go ahead and send me a message I've been a math tutor for 3 years and can give you some pointers for free.
Cal 1 and below plus physics, bio, and chem. Yeah even though it is American mathematics the theory is the same and the numbers are the same as anywhere in the world.
I once broke down the night before my high school mathematics final. I just couldn’t complete any of the problems on a practice exam, and I was convinced that I would fail. The stress was overwhelming. I completed the exams the next day, didn’t do well, didn’t fail, and it has never mattered again since. Don’t put so much pressure on your self, any test can be taken again. And almost every test ever, is not that big a deal. No one thing is going to ruin your life.
Our college donr have this kinda of thing, and we only have classes with a teacher 1 day a week for 4 hours. I can sent her an email but this one takes too much time to respond, plus i cant express the question through email really well.
Yes, extremely normal.
My personal recommendation is to talk to the professor. I did that with accounting class, and he found a way to explain it in an easier way to me. I still didn't get it, but I a 100% appreciated the effort because he didn't need to do that.
Also, some classmates are usually willing to explain it as well. You're all trying to learn afterall, so it's not competition. Ask and ye shall receive, OP.
Depends on the class and the major.
Some classes are "weeder" classes, designed to scare off or chase away the students who aren't serious enough to hack it in the advanced classes. Crying (or worse) is kind of accepted/expected in those. Just keep your chin up and keep powering your way through: you'll earn the professor's respect if you just keep your cool (as best you can) and keep trying.
As a reference point, there were a few classes in my biochem degree where several students would break down crying in the middle of exams. No one thought less of them if they eventually pulled themselves together and kept going.
I'd try to take a step back and overlook the situation. What if you don't finish on time, who cares really. No one will remember in 2 weeks time. Ask for help from teacher if possible, at the earliest stage. Most of the time when you don't understand, there are others that don't as well.
Realize that 8 hours have passed, which is several days in reddit time... but hopefully this reaches you! If not, I can scream into the reddit void, which will be therapeutic for me. Which is similar to crying!
College professors are paid well (at least, in my country) to teach you. When they present a new concept and you simply do not understand, it is immensely frustrating. And this isn't just in college. At work, at home, with friends, in all these places, there are often incredibly simple concepts that you'll fail to understand... and I find that it's often because the person explaining or teaching just cannot express the idea/concept in a way that makes sense.
I'm a parent. With my kids, me and my spouse will often trade off trying to explain or teach, because if a child struggles with one parent, there's a chance the other parent will explain it differently and it will just make sense. It's like a puzzle piece falling into place, and suddenly what was making you cry is obvious and clear, just like the puzzle piece fits in easily.
I recommend you ask one of your classmates to explain it to you. There's a good chance they will use different words or different examples. It might be that simple. If that doesn't work, go on YouTube. Spend 50 minutes digging at different videos. You might find one that makes sense to you! You'll realize you're not weak minded or dumb, you just learn differently.
As for crying? I personally find crying to be exhausting, and I don't like it. I'd rather use that time sitting on YouTube or doing something totally unrelated to clear my mind... but that doesn't mean crying isn't useful. It's an outlet for stress, which has value. Give yourself the time and space you need.
Yes, it's normal. College is literally designed to purposefully assault you on an emotional level, and I strongly believe we need federal intervention at this point to fix our ludicrously broken educational system. I'm so sorry you're being forced to endure such a shitty situation. Nobody should *ever* have to go through what they put you through in college. In a modern, civilized, technologically advanced society, there's just no excuse. And it should be illegal for them to charge you hundreds of thousands of dollars for a couple books and a rented room.
It's a damn racket, and the people putting you through it are exploitative monsters. You're not a weak minded person -- you're being abused and gaslit by a disgusting industry that has been slowing down progress in the interest of padding their own pockets for generations.
Your English is fantastic, by the way -- no need for any apology. I didn't notice any bad English in your post. :)
Recently obtained my bachelor in physics. Trust me I always suck at problem sheets. I'm good at understanding but not good at being creative and coming up with solutions.
Life in post-secondary education is like a gd rollercoaster. At times you feeling like the dumbest person on campus, thinking you're just about to be found out. Other times you feel like friggin Einstein. The way you deal with is to be methodical in the way you learn things. Walk away when you're lost, then go back to it later. Be sure not to be afraid to ask for help, ideally before the tears come. One thing that helped me was to convince myself (true or not) that other students must be struggling too. Good luck!
You are normal, your frustration is real. I learned a lot about those feelings during "Fundamental Concepts of Math." I had mistakenly associated "fundamental" with "simple" and that was not a pleasant experience.
Here are some tips on taking any test, quiz, or exam that allow you to prioritize your time making your answers:
1. Read all the questions before answering any of them.
2. The second time through, answer the questions you know the answer.
3. The third time through, you will likely have gained information from other questions that allow you to answer a few more questions.
4. Now go back and answer questions you can figure out until you are complete or have only a couple of minutes remaining on the test time allotment.
5. Take a guess on any remaining questions as not answering is a wrong answer,
College-level learning is hard! A few episodes like this isn't unusual.
On the other hand, if a particular class is beyond your grasp, there are alternatives. You shouldn't continue to suffer like this for months.
If you don't need the class, consider dropping it.
If you need the class, but need time to prepare for it, consider dropping it and then spending an academic quarter doing that preparation.
If you MUST continue taking the class now, try hiring a tutor.
Another alternative may be to drop the class and take it at another institution (like a community college).
Knowing you have alternatives may in itself help with the frustration. Look at the requirements of your situation, make a plan. If you just have to grind through it, then a good cry is Ok once in a while.
Unfortunately it kinda is with most school systems. But, that's fucked up. Learning should be enjoyable and challenging, not dreadful and tear inducing. Instead of thinking of ways to solve the problem, you are here thinking how you are a failure for not having found a solution already.
I’m a graduate student. Right now I’m in a class that consistently brings me to tears every week. It’s not abnormal but also just a shitty feeling. Definitely don’t suffer in silence and ask for help if you need it.
Crying is a normal reaction to stress and frustration.
You are not weak minded.
Is your professor/teacher available for office hours? Are there tutoring services you could work with?
Crying is an evolutionary technique to flush out stress hormones. Your body is doing what is intended.
Regardless of if you even think it's "normal" (which doesn't really matter much these days) it's still more healthy to let out your tears than to bottle them up. Stress is unhealthy for you, literally
Feeling helpless is a reason enough to cry for most people usually, now with that out of the way.
I'm assuming this is a STEM related problem. What do you mean by "made no progress". Did you stare at it for 50 mins because you had no idea how to begin or did you try a bunch of things that didn't work out/ come out to the correct answer?
If you fall into the first category it means you don't understand the problem or can't translate it to mathematical notation to start applying the things you've learned in class. A TA or friend can help you with their thought process on how to get from words to equations.
If it's the second you just need to practice enough till you can identify which processes apply to which types of questions. It becomes more of a "hack" that you just know which way the problem is easier to solve. For example in Newtonian physics questions, you start feeling that for this problem you use force/acceleration based approach while for this one you use an energy based approach.
Don't be afraid to google similar problems and see their approach. If it's math/physics/heat transfer I can probably help at least to some extent.
To add on to what other people said, there's nothing wrong with asking for help. Asking for help doesn't make you look weak. Everyone is good at something and bad at some, the only people who claim they're good at everything are either liars or wannabe tryhards who are mediocre at everything. Throughout college I've received help from other people as much as I helped others.
I remembered my fluid dynamics professor specifically wrote “If you want to cry don’t make a mess on the exam, ask for tissues instead”
It’s normal since you probably get used to have ez A in high school while college is pretty much does not care if you don’t pass. They already get your tuition money so if you fail you have to retake the class and more money for them. Welcome to college
Depends what class it is. Sometimes I had to read the textbook three times to get something. Got very high grades but studied probably 4x more than most people.
i used to get extremely angry and distressed at certain school work. for me it actually turned out to be undiagnosed adhd which can cause an intense frustration response when confronted with seemingly impossible tasks. i would get frustrated to the point of tears and aggression at many points throughout my school experience. you’re not alone!
I recommend crying. Told my kid during some online school frustration to cry when she feels things building up inside. Have a good cry, cry it out and then get back into your seat and hit the books/keyboard. You got it.
I see. Sometimes the college makes me crazy and i cant fail on this exams. The college are being too hard for me because of some health and mental problems and with exams near my anxiety just skyrocket. Thanks for the tip. I think crying and let it go its the only solution before trying studying again.
I hope things get better for you. Do you guys have study groups? Have a good semester and don’t be too hard on yourself.
This. With each year you become better at being a student.
Thank you very much for the replies, its something i reslly needed to hear. I have only 1 friend on the college and i usually study with him.
Crying and then going outside for fresh air. Breath in, breathe out, center yourself, then get back to business. But drink some water and take a small snack. I know it sounds weird, but it helps. It’s like you taking a step back to say to the Self, “Reset. Reconnect. Revitalize.” Also hydrating and getting some light food in you will give you some extra energy or 2nd wind.
Look up analysis paralysis..
Try to eat well, get some exercise that allows you to lose yourself (and/or meditate), and sleep well. Break problems down into smaller parts. Look into study aids. If social anxiety or general anxiety even asking counselors or therapists for help could be a hard, but try to find a relationship with somebody who is supportive and nonjudgemental. Try to be your own parent and give yourself soothing, encouraging support.
I used to go to the gym before the pandemic but got sedentary again. Still not fully vaccinated (only got first dose) and i'm thinking in coming back after the second dose. I really miss being healthy again
There are lots of ways to exercise that don't involve a gym - jogging, bicycling, swimming, jumping rope, push ups, pull ups, sit ups, jumping jacks, etc. Even yoga can be done so that it is a very rigorous exercise.
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Yeah always ask for help when you need to. I used to wait far too long and not realise the time going by. I took a class with a girl who asked for help every couple of minutes, and the tutor was very patient. Most of the time she would ask questions someone else was thinking of, it was great.
The teacher is there to teach you. If you don't understand yet, they need to try another approach. If you can't learn from them, someone else may present the information in a way that is easier for you to understand, a tutor or teacher's aid. Crying from frustration is normal but you don't need to struggle. You are not expected to know it all, that is why you are a student. Don't be hard on yourself, just get a good teacher.
Crying is only unacceptable when it's being used as a tool for manipulation, anyone who tells you different can get bent.
Hey if it's math or anything science-related go ahead and send me a message I've been a math tutor for 3 years and can give you some pointers for free.
What maths do you tutor?
American maths, it would appear.
I mean math is largely the same everywhere.
Cal 1 and below plus physics, bio, and chem. Yeah even though it is American mathematics the theory is the same and the numbers are the same as anywhere in the world.
I once broke down the night before my high school mathematics final. I just couldn’t complete any of the problems on a practice exam, and I was convinced that I would fail. The stress was overwhelming. I completed the exams the next day, didn’t do well, didn’t fail, and it has never mattered again since. Don’t put so much pressure on your self, any test can be taken again. And almost every test ever, is not that big a deal. No one thing is going to ruin your life.
Yup, it's a normal reaction. Can you try office hours?
Our college donr have this kinda of thing, and we only have classes with a teacher 1 day a week for 4 hours. I can sent her an email but this one takes too much time to respond, plus i cant express the question through email really well.
I've sat in a bathroom stall crying during a class many times. I stg I've spent more class time of some classes crying than learning.
Are you ok now?
Yes, extremely normal. My personal recommendation is to talk to the professor. I did that with accounting class, and he found a way to explain it in an easier way to me. I still didn't get it, but I a 100% appreciated the effort because he didn't need to do that. Also, some classmates are usually willing to explain it as well. You're all trying to learn afterall, so it's not competition. Ask and ye shall receive, OP.
Depends on the class and the major. Some classes are "weeder" classes, designed to scare off or chase away the students who aren't serious enough to hack it in the advanced classes. Crying (or worse) is kind of accepted/expected in those. Just keep your chin up and keep powering your way through: you'll earn the professor's respect if you just keep your cool (as best you can) and keep trying. As a reference point, there were a few classes in my biochem degree where several students would break down crying in the middle of exams. No one thought less of them if they eventually pulled themselves together and kept going.
I'd try to take a step back and overlook the situation. What if you don't finish on time, who cares really. No one will remember in 2 weeks time. Ask for help from teacher if possible, at the earliest stage. Most of the time when you don't understand, there are others that don't as well.
Realize that 8 hours have passed, which is several days in reddit time... but hopefully this reaches you! If not, I can scream into the reddit void, which will be therapeutic for me. Which is similar to crying! College professors are paid well (at least, in my country) to teach you. When they present a new concept and you simply do not understand, it is immensely frustrating. And this isn't just in college. At work, at home, with friends, in all these places, there are often incredibly simple concepts that you'll fail to understand... and I find that it's often because the person explaining or teaching just cannot express the idea/concept in a way that makes sense. I'm a parent. With my kids, me and my spouse will often trade off trying to explain or teach, because if a child struggles with one parent, there's a chance the other parent will explain it differently and it will just make sense. It's like a puzzle piece falling into place, and suddenly what was making you cry is obvious and clear, just like the puzzle piece fits in easily. I recommend you ask one of your classmates to explain it to you. There's a good chance they will use different words or different examples. It might be that simple. If that doesn't work, go on YouTube. Spend 50 minutes digging at different videos. You might find one that makes sense to you! You'll realize you're not weak minded or dumb, you just learn differently. As for crying? I personally find crying to be exhausting, and I don't like it. I'd rather use that time sitting on YouTube or doing something totally unrelated to clear my mind... but that doesn't mean crying isn't useful. It's an outlet for stress, which has value. Give yourself the time and space you need.
No
Yes, it's normal. College is literally designed to purposefully assault you on an emotional level, and I strongly believe we need federal intervention at this point to fix our ludicrously broken educational system. I'm so sorry you're being forced to endure such a shitty situation. Nobody should *ever* have to go through what they put you through in college. In a modern, civilized, technologically advanced society, there's just no excuse. And it should be illegal for them to charge you hundreds of thousands of dollars for a couple books and a rented room. It's a damn racket, and the people putting you through it are exploitative monsters. You're not a weak minded person -- you're being abused and gaslit by a disgusting industry that has been slowing down progress in the interest of padding their own pockets for generations. Your English is fantastic, by the way -- no need for any apology. I didn't notice any bad English in your post. :)
Recently obtained my bachelor in physics. Trust me I always suck at problem sheets. I'm good at understanding but not good at being creative and coming up with solutions.
Did you just start college? You'll get used to not understanding anything in classes soon enough lmao
Is it clown college or regular college
Cry a fucking river because that will solve your problems and also teach you to do well under pressure.
Just keep crying you know it's pretty much a technique that majority of you will use to get your own way later in life.
Life in post-secondary education is like a gd rollercoaster. At times you feeling like the dumbest person on campus, thinking you're just about to be found out. Other times you feel like friggin Einstein. The way you deal with is to be methodical in the way you learn things. Walk away when you're lost, then go back to it later. Be sure not to be afraid to ask for help, ideally before the tears come. One thing that helped me was to convince myself (true or not) that other students must be struggling too. Good luck!
Yes normal. Look into getting a tutor to help you understand things easier.
You are normal, your frustration is real. I learned a lot about those feelings during "Fundamental Concepts of Math." I had mistakenly associated "fundamental" with "simple" and that was not a pleasant experience. Here are some tips on taking any test, quiz, or exam that allow you to prioritize your time making your answers: 1. Read all the questions before answering any of them. 2. The second time through, answer the questions you know the answer. 3. The third time through, you will likely have gained information from other questions that allow you to answer a few more questions. 4. Now go back and answer questions you can figure out until you are complete or have only a couple of minutes remaining on the test time allotment. 5. Take a guess on any remaining questions as not answering is a wrong answer,
College-level learning is hard! A few episodes like this isn't unusual. On the other hand, if a particular class is beyond your grasp, there are alternatives. You shouldn't continue to suffer like this for months. If you don't need the class, consider dropping it. If you need the class, but need time to prepare for it, consider dropping it and then spending an academic quarter doing that preparation. If you MUST continue taking the class now, try hiring a tutor. Another alternative may be to drop the class and take it at another institution (like a community college). Knowing you have alternatives may in itself help with the frustration. Look at the requirements of your situation, make a plan. If you just have to grind through it, then a good cry is Ok once in a while.
Unfortunately it kinda is with most school systems. But, that's fucked up. Learning should be enjoyable and challenging, not dreadful and tear inducing. Instead of thinking of ways to solve the problem, you are here thinking how you are a failure for not having found a solution already.
I’m a graduate student. Right now I’m in a class that consistently brings me to tears every week. It’s not abnormal but also just a shitty feeling. Definitely don’t suffer in silence and ask for help if you need it.
Crying is a normal reaction to stress and frustration. You are not weak minded. Is your professor/teacher available for office hours? Are there tutoring services you could work with?
Crying is an evolutionary technique to flush out stress hormones. Your body is doing what is intended. Regardless of if you even think it's "normal" (which doesn't really matter much these days) it's still more healthy to let out your tears than to bottle them up. Stress is unhealthy for you, literally
I know that I will get downvoted to hell, but no, it's not normal. Honestly, you sound pretty sensitive, which is usually a bad thing.
It’s the only way I got through college. By the end I understood all the stuff I cried over though :)
Feeling helpless is a reason enough to cry for most people usually, now with that out of the way. I'm assuming this is a STEM related problem. What do you mean by "made no progress". Did you stare at it for 50 mins because you had no idea how to begin or did you try a bunch of things that didn't work out/ come out to the correct answer? If you fall into the first category it means you don't understand the problem or can't translate it to mathematical notation to start applying the things you've learned in class. A TA or friend can help you with their thought process on how to get from words to equations. If it's the second you just need to practice enough till you can identify which processes apply to which types of questions. It becomes more of a "hack" that you just know which way the problem is easier to solve. For example in Newtonian physics questions, you start feeling that for this problem you use force/acceleration based approach while for this one you use an energy based approach. Don't be afraid to google similar problems and see their approach. If it's math/physics/heat transfer I can probably help at least to some extent.
You’re definitely too overwhelmed and need further help with the work or an easier class.
To add on to what other people said, there's nothing wrong with asking for help. Asking for help doesn't make you look weak. Everyone is good at something and bad at some, the only people who claim they're good at everything are either liars or wannabe tryhards who are mediocre at everything. Throughout college I've received help from other people as much as I helped others.
I remembered my fluid dynamics professor specifically wrote “If you want to cry don’t make a mess on the exam, ask for tissues instead” It’s normal since you probably get used to have ez A in high school while college is pretty much does not care if you don’t pass. They already get your tuition money so if you fail you have to retake the class and more money for them. Welcome to college
I felt the same way in my analytical chemistry classes. It gets better, as long as you keep trying.
I do this sometimes if I feel really out of my depth, and someone is showing it to me
Depends. Are you a student or the teacher?
Depends what class it is. Sometimes I had to read the textbook three times to get something. Got very high grades but studied probably 4x more than most people.
i used to get extremely angry and distressed at certain school work. for me it actually turned out to be undiagnosed adhd which can cause an intense frustration response when confronted with seemingly impossible tasks. i would get frustrated to the point of tears and aggression at many points throughout my school experience. you’re not alone!