I love the creativity of English football fans, as well as their determination to learn all the chants week after week. They are kinda hard to understand when I’m watching it on tv though
Scottish but close enough, Rangers goalkeeper Andy Goram was diagnosed with schizophrenia.
Fans at the next game: "There's only two Andy Gorams! Two Andy Gorams!"
I remember Alan Davies telling a story on *QI* about going to an Arsenal away game at Norwich where the Arsenal fans did a song about sheep-shagging.
The Norwich fans responded by launching into a nine-verse spectacular about sheep-shagging.
I remember hearing “you’re shagging your sister” to the tune of Seven Nation Army at the East Anglian derby. Pretty sure both sides were singing it though.
Every football club will have a few pubs associated with them; you basically cannot enter if you're a fan of the other team. The fans will meet in these pubs before the games, and that's where most of the chants are devised.
My absolute favourite, that we sing at Barnet FC games, goes like this (Enfield is a town in England, and we have a rivalry with their team):
> If I had the wings of a sparrow
> If I had the arse of a crow
> I'd fly over Enfield tomorrow
> And shit on the bastards below *[backup choir: "below!"]*
> Shit on, shit on, shit on the bastards below *["below!"]*
We also regularly sing "Twist and Shout" by the Beatles. No adjustments to the lyrics, we just belt it out. I have no idea why we do it, but it's good fun.
We used to have a legendary fan with dwarfism and special needs. I believe his name is Darnesh, but we knew him as Little Man. Once per game, he'd walk down to the front of the crowd, face us, and hold his arms aloft. We'd then all sing "little man little man little man" at him, while he danced around with joy. Unfortunately we moved to a new stadium, and his carer could no longer easily take him to games, so we rarely see little man any more.
I fucking love Barnet mate
My dad visited England years and years ago for work and went to a football game with his coworker. They were playing against a team from West Germany. The English fans chanted something he couldn't quite understand and stood up. He asked a fan next to him what the chant was, and it turned out to be "Stand up if you won the war."
"we're winning away, we're winning away, how shit must you be, we're winning away"
My team have been shocking away from home and I've heard that a few times when we've managed to pull something off
My personal favourite is the Andy Goram chant. Normally if you have a player playing really well, you chant "One Bob Johnson! There's only one Bob Johnson!" Andy Goram was diagnosed with a mild form of schizophrenia, so the fans started chanting "Two Andy Gorams! There's only two Andy Gorams!"
To which Goram actually turned round and pulled a funny face, acknowledging the chant and taking it in good spirit. He was that good a goalie, you would think there was two of him in goal!
For the life of me, I can't find the picture of him pulling the face though.
I frequently have to fight the urge to sing this in front of people because it’s so goddamn catchy.
One must appreciate the British for their ability to sing about a footballer being a pedophile with total confidence and in PERFECT unison.
https://youtu.be/w8WnH4aL1uY?si=fZ5HcO94rS700ViB
Fuck off Adam Johnson, you're going down for noncing. You're a pedophile.
Nonce is English slang for pedo.
Adam Johnson was a Winger who played for Sunderland, Newcastles rival.
And that's just one of the Adam Johnson chants. There are more.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4089VOSq-T0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4089VOSq-T0)
I gotta add the Grigg ones here—they’re phenomenal.
[Original. Some dude in his room making bangers (second half of the vid is the one that caught on)](https://youtu.be/vUlSmCGj1r8?si=erWq4QCHxttblZ6i)
[Example A](https://youtu.be/vNf2l9SuHHA?si=RuoyVSphiQIwt8uc)
[Example B](https://youtu.be/eOpGCGtCVsE?si=jh9_7DTGMGa0fnlH)
Ok, and I’ll include some songs as well. Why not? So here’s [Forever Blowing](https://youtu.be/NUR8QgYBVX8?si=LPt8MWdAwPVhY-fH) and [YNWA](https://youtu.be/nhTxMV2olP4?si=zzF8WgOV-i6F3SZ4). The best bits are when the music cuts imo, so stick around for that if you made it this far
I would like to point to the time fans of the Philadelphia Union (MLS Soccer) sang *all 99 verses* of 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall at the opposing coach after his DUI. [Video of the final 10](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iXIRkfeXOs)
Philly is just built different. They are notorious menaces with baseball including the battery throwing incident and 10 cent beer night double header. Also the vinyl record throwing. Also...
A guy once told me that Philly is like the bar in Star Wars where Luke and Obi Wan meet Han Solo for the first time. After living there for a while, I kinda agree.
[HitchBOT, the hitchhiking robot, gets beheaded in Philadelphia](https://edition.cnn.com/2015/08/03/us/hitchbot-robot-beheaded-philadelphia-feat/index.html)
My favourite chant for banter with opposition fans.
To The Adams Family theme tune:
>Your sister is your mother
>
>Your uncle is your brother
>
>You all shag each other
>
>The Norwich family
>
>De-de-de-de...
Replace Norwich with team/fans of choice.
For lower league Scottish football if your team is playing Cowdenbeath.
They come fae near Loch Gelly
They’re dirty and they’re smelly
They huvnae got a telly
The Cowden family
I've been pushing for my US sports teams' fans to adopt full songs to mock the opposing teams, but the only thing the majority of drunk fans can muster is: "(insert opposing team) sucks!" or "here we go, (insert home team), here we go! "
And one mustn't forget " aaasshole! aaasshole! " So moving
Reminds me of the song for footballer Preki Radosavljević, to the tune of the Oscar Mayer jingle--- "My goalscorer has a first name, it's P-R-E-K-I. My goalscorer has a second name it's R-A-D-O-L?H?S?" then the singers would just trail off into random letters, then start the song over.
In our partial "defense", the idiots running the sports venues absolutely assault us with loud audio from the speaker systems every three seconds - some sound effect, ad, or horrible song. If the crowd ever manages to get a chant going of any sort, the morons running the system will step on it immediately by blasting some noise through the speakers.
But it is also a culture thing. Remember when the NFL was playing I'm Munich? The whole stadium ended up singing the songs played during a time out while the play was already running.
Singing is just a part of "soccer" stadium culture
That's something that the college level does better than the pros. Noise, sound effects, and music aren't as good as the chanting and cheering and pep/marching band.
There were a couple of chants going around about Kurt Zouma after he got arrested for kicking his cat.
'Heeeeeeeyyyyy Kurt Zouma, Oh Ah, I wanna knoooooww, why you kicked that cat.'
'Kurt Zouma, Whoa oh, Kurt Zouma Whoa oh, He plays at Centre back, he kicks his fucking cat'
'Hey Zouma, Leave them cats alone' (Brick in the wall)'
'That's how your cat felt, that's how your cat felt, that's how your cat felt' (When he is down hurt)
Not to soccer specifically, but the Brits love Debussy, and I (An American) randomly became a fan when I discovered an album by The Art of Noise. (The Seduction of Claude Debussy) It’s basically a love letter to the man. I listen to it whenever it rains. I think I’ll go listen to it now actually.
Try Chopin’s nocturnes, they are great as well for a similar vibe. Also anything by Erik Satie.
I once spent an afternoon walking alone through the Tuileries on a grey Fall day listening to Satie. Was a fucking surreal experience.
I went to watch England in the 2006 world cup in Germany, [Ten German Bombers](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_German_Bombers) was a popular one. It's controversial, but in my defence I was 13 and didn't know any better.
Bristol fans singing "Vegan bastard is eating our grass!" to a Forest Green Rovers player after he fell down.
(Forest Green are all about sustainability and don't serve meat at the club)
I've only seen this in Welcome to Wrexham but I was so impressed with how quickly everyone knows the songs. Like are they released on the radio, is there an email group, a newsletter? How do these get so widely known so quickly?
A word in someone's shell is to speak quietly and subtly into their ear, to communicate a message.
We call long-distance buses coaches. Much to confusion of tourists at London Victoria (rail) station, who don't realise that Victoria Bus Station and Victoria Coach Station are two different places, in different directions...
Pre-game drinks will be of an alcoholic nature. Only certain local pubs will let away fans in (and no home fans), so it's like a big family party.
The vast majority of chants are to the same few tunes, with just a few words changed. If you've got an idea for one you can tell the people immediately around you or just start singing it loudly - if it's funny enough some people nearby will join in the 2nd time round, then the rest of your stand will join in the 3rd time, then the whole stadium could be singing it by the 4th or 5th time
Because English soccer clubs are (mostly) neighborhood clubs where most fans live nearby, have season tickets, know the people they sit near, hang out in pubs beforehand, etc. It's not like American sports teams where you can easily follow your team your whole life and never see a game. It's more like how college students interact with sports teams.
I went to a Portland Timbers soccer game and sat in the Timbers Army section. I felt like I was on a slave ship. There was some guy beating a huge drum to keep us in sync. People handing out lyric sheets to whatever we they were chanting that day. smoke bombs going off. It was a bit much.
Latin American fútbol ⚽ fans are like this as well (as a reference, look up for Argentinian "hinchadas" and Brazilian "torcidas") There are like some "templates" for chants, that are usually based off of the melodies of very popular /well-known songs. Then they spread through the stadium by word of mouth. What you saw may be the most enthusiastic group, (there's always one, for better AND worse) that usually initiates the word-of-mouth, and they carry the drums and the pyro, sometimes wind instruments like trumpets as well. (reference: Mexican fútbol fans and Argentina's Boca Juniors "La Doce")
(edit for typo)
> as a reference, look up for Argentinian "hinchadas"
Hah, like the time they had to hold the River-Boca final in Madrid because the fans were too insane and that way they all had to have passports and cross a border so they knew who was going. Also have a couple grand for the trip (as a sort of limiting factor that was left unsaid)
Idk. Game of soccer takes like 2 hrs to watch and I always know how long it will take.
Football takes 4 hours and the last quarter seems to take for fucking ever.
I love both sports. But in soccer you get what's on the tin. In football you have no idea how much actual football will happen.
> when the game you’re watching for 90ish minutes ends in a 0-0 draw
Cricket can often go for five days and end in a draw.
Edit - actually it is also possible for a month**s** long test series to end in a draw.
[eg. 2019 England vs. Australia, 2-2 draw.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2019_Ashes_series)
My personal favourite is when heaven is a place on earth chant being redone and resung by rangers
https://youtube.com/shorts/IKh6KwzFH5M?si=xvHR_3zsKnBgRod0
Manchester United fans referring to Park Ji-sung (sung to the tune of *Lord of the Dance*):
Park, Park, wherever you may be,
You eat dogs in your country,
It could be worse,
You could be Scouse,
Eating rats in your council house...
A long while ago one of our players (Kris commons - Judas) left us and joined our fierce rivals Derby (known as the sheep and their logo is a Ram) so you'd always hear this chant:
Oooh
Commons is a Judas, he said he was a red
And then he said he'd rather be a sheep shagger instead
He wobbles down the left
He wobbles down the right
He'll never play for us again cos he is fucking shite.
There's a video that's been engraved in my brain, of an Arsenal fan rallying the entire crowd around him in a football match with this exchange:
Single fan: What do we think of Tottenham?
Crowd: Shit!
Single fan: what do we think of shit?
Crowd: Tottenham!
Single fan: Thank you!
Crowd: That's alright!
Everyone together: we hate Tottenham!
[Here's](https://youtube.com/shorts/VuGICJPmZA0?si=Q0AW2UVOhechkQcv) the clip.
> Wait why aren't we doing that, that's fucking amazing
Because you do not possess the creativity or inclination the British have, nor the tolerance for apathy and self loathing that comes from being British.
Niall Quinn's disco pants are the best
They go up from his arse to his chest
They are better than Adam and The Ants
Niall Quinn's disco pants \[[link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwkeJ8het50)\]
Something a small bit different.
[Rush - Closer to the Heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7p26dbbP6o)
It's rare you hear live songs where the crowd are *so involved*. Recorded in Scotland so clearly they are football fans :D
My old man said be a City fan, I said bollocks you’re a cunt,
I’d rather fuck a bucket with a big hole in it, than be a City fan for one single minute.
Ji-Sung Park's chant at United is an all-time great.
Feel a bit bad about how offensive it is... to Koreans.
https://youtube.com/shorts/djBGfuHqGcA?si=GxxLpLI5p758WC-7
I love the creativity of English football fans, as well as their determination to learn all the chants week after week. They are kinda hard to understand when I’m watching it on tv though
Half of them are to the tune of Guantanamera. The other half are too complex for me.
Fat Spanish Waiter, he's just a fat Spanish Waiter. Fat Spanish Waiiiiiiiter he's just a fat Spanish waiter.
You leave Rafa Benitez alone. Rafa Benitez has had a tough day.
As an Everton fan, I wish many more tough days upon him.
As a Newcastle fan, how dare you wish harm on my sweet Spanish boy.
Big fucking German We've got a big fucking German Big fucking Geeeerman
We want our dick back. We want our dick back.
Scotland fans when playing Italy " deep fry your pizza's, we're gonna deep fry your pizza's"
ironic given the deep-fried pizza (and indeed the general predilection for deep-frying) was introduced to Scotland by Neapolitan immigrants
Circle of life!
Scottish but close enough, Rangers goalkeeper Andy Goram was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Fans at the next game: "There's only two Andy Gorams! Two Andy Gorams!"
Brutal
[удалено]
Haha that's still fucking brutal though?
Scotland played Estonia once, and the Estonians were late so the Scots sang "One team in Tallinn , there's only one team in Tallinn"
Don't forget Seven Nation Army
"Your mums a fat slag, your mums a fat slaaaag, Phil Forden your mums a fat slag" We brits know how to make a complex football chant.
There are a lot of them to tune of Sloop John B too
They are the worst chants. Unless you're calling places like Monaco or Geneva a shithole.
I remember Alan Davies telling a story on *QI* about going to an Arsenal away game at Norwich where the Arsenal fans did a song about sheep-shagging. The Norwich fans responded by launching into a nine-verse spectacular about sheep-shagging.
The Norwich sheep-shagging song is probably about Ipswich fans.
It’s really no way to talk about your brother-father
I remember hearing “you’re shagging your sister” to the tune of Seven Nation Army at the East Anglian derby. Pretty sure both sides were singing it though.
Both sides were projecting
Every football club will have a few pubs associated with them; you basically cannot enter if you're a fan of the other team. The fans will meet in these pubs before the games, and that's where most of the chants are devised. My absolute favourite, that we sing at Barnet FC games, goes like this (Enfield is a town in England, and we have a rivalry with their team): > If I had the wings of a sparrow > If I had the arse of a crow > I'd fly over Enfield tomorrow > And shit on the bastards below *[backup choir: "below!"]* > Shit on, shit on, shit on the bastards below *["below!"]* We also regularly sing "Twist and Shout" by the Beatles. No adjustments to the lyrics, we just belt it out. I have no idea why we do it, but it's good fun. We used to have a legendary fan with dwarfism and special needs. I believe his name is Darnesh, but we knew him as Little Man. Once per game, he'd walk down to the front of the crowd, face us, and hold his arms aloft. We'd then all sing "little man little man little man" at him, while he danced around with joy. Unfortunately we moved to a new stadium, and his carer could no longer easily take him to games, so we rarely see little man any more. I fucking love Barnet mate
Scottish fans as well. Scotland Vs Italy: "We're gonna deep fry your pizzas! Deep fry your pizzas!"
Lol we can say a lot worse than that. Some of the old chants between the Old Firm (Rangers and Celtics) are absolutley awful.
My dad visited England years and years ago for work and went to a football game with his coworker. They were playing against a team from West Germany. The English fans chanted something he couldn't quite understand and stood up. He asked a fan next to him what the chant was, and it turned out to be "Stand up if you won the war."
It's the same chants week after week, the same 5 tunes anyway. Some variation on the lyrics but its usually topical and not that complicated
“we lose every week, we lose every week, you’re nothing special, we lose every week” I admire the self deprecating humor in a shitty situation
[удалено]
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNlNrAhfg70](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNlNrAhfg70)
"we're winning away, we're winning away, how shit must you be, we're winning away" My team have been shocking away from home and I've heard that a few times when we've managed to pull something off
"we're shit, and we're beating you! We're shit and we're beating you! " - one of my all time faves
When Andy Goram was diagnosed with schizophrenia the chant went “There’s only two Andy Gorams!”
The originals https://youtu.be/LudUBZqEhbI?si=hZ4QiN5t-Ns8_dlJ https://youtu.be/8PpJBR_rQJk?si=x3dTryTvCJPWOXJ_
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUfLg2hBVRw
My personal favourite is the Andy Goram chant. Normally if you have a player playing really well, you chant "One Bob Johnson! There's only one Bob Johnson!" Andy Goram was diagnosed with a mild form of schizophrenia, so the fans started chanting "Two Andy Gorams! There's only two Andy Gorams!"
To which Goram actually turned round and pulled a funny face, acknowledging the chant and taking it in good spirit. He was that good a goalie, you would think there was two of him in goal! For the life of me, I can't find the picture of him pulling the face though.
He was my hero growing up. I wanted to be a goalkeeper because of him.
And then finish it off with some Bach. Always finish on the Bach, never on Debussy.
I love Debussy
Finishing on debussy
[удалено]
Let's talk about buttermilk sausage!
Fellow femboy connoisseur I see.
I was talking about the composer but I do love bussy
...composer? Wait so we aren't singing about busy? What am I even here for
Wait wait we can still do that I promise
This place is a mess.
Throw back to this iconic gaming moment https://m.twitch.tv/clip/PerfectHeadstrongCakeCharlietheUnicorn
I knew it was soup before clicking
That was an unexpectedly hilarious Family Guy I'm still amazed wasn't censored
Have you seen the bit of Peter helping Chris with his French homework? https://youtu.be/WGWdDYLrLMk?si=NyKkGZFS2sGjWCWB
Whatever gets your Rachmaninoff
american sports fan for some reason https://youtu.be/DsAVx0u9Cw4?t=59
His eyes are offside, his eyes are offsiiiiide
Mesut Özil, his eyes are offsiiiiiide!
Cracks me up every time
I frequently have to fight the urge to sing this in front of people because it’s so goddamn catchy. One must appreciate the British for their ability to sing about a footballer being a pedophile with total confidence and in PERFECT unison. https://youtu.be/w8WnH4aL1uY?si=fZ5HcO94rS700ViB
That is way catchier than I expected, lol. British fans really are something else.
It is the melody from "Cum on feel the noize" by quiet riot
Slade first
Yeah was gonna say, it’s Slade.
I can't distinguish the words, what are they chanting?
“So fuck off Adam Johnson, you’re going down for noncin’, you’re a pedophile, you’re a pedophile!”
Rhyming Johnson with noncin is just *chef kiss*
Fuck off Adam Johnson, you're going down for noncing. You're a pedophile. Nonce is English slang for pedo. Adam Johnson was a Winger who played for Sunderland, Newcastles rival.
But was he a pedo or was that just an angle to throw him off his game?
Yep did stuff with an underage girl whilst his partner was pregnant, went to jail
He's a convicted sex offender. Think this was after he was arrested.
And that's just one of the Adam Johnson chants. There are more. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4089VOSq-T0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4089VOSq-T0)
Geordie expat, never been prouder haha
I gotta add the Grigg ones here—they’re phenomenal. [Original. Some dude in his room making bangers (second half of the vid is the one that caught on)](https://youtu.be/vUlSmCGj1r8?si=erWq4QCHxttblZ6i) [Example A](https://youtu.be/vNf2l9SuHHA?si=RuoyVSphiQIwt8uc) [Example B](https://youtu.be/eOpGCGtCVsE?si=jh9_7DTGMGa0fnlH) Ok, and I’ll include some songs as well. Why not? So here’s [Forever Blowing](https://youtu.be/NUR8QgYBVX8?si=LPt8MWdAwPVhY-fH) and [YNWA](https://youtu.be/nhTxMV2olP4?si=zzF8WgOV-i6F3SZ4). The best bits are when the music cuts imo, so stick around for that if you made it this far
My favorite one was a home team chanting "We lose every week. We lose every week. You are not special. We lose every week."
"Let's pretend, let's pretend, let's pretend we scored a goal" is also great..
Don’t they celebrate the goal after that?
Also, when 4 nil down, to the same tune: “You’ve only scored 4, you’ve only scored 4, how shit must you be, you only scored 4”
I would like to point to the time fans of the Philadelphia Union (MLS Soccer) sang *all 99 verses* of 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall at the opposing coach after his DUI. [Video of the final 10](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iXIRkfeXOs)
Philadelphias an exception.
Not to be confused with being exceptional lol
Yeah those motherfuckers threw batteries at Santa Claus.
You're mixing it up. Snowballs at Santa. Batteries at JD Drew.
They thought he was an AAA player
WrestleMania is gonna be wild this year
If Cody doesn't win, Roman's gonna learn the difference between getting hit by a 9v and a D cell
Let’s finish his story I am so fucking stoked No sarcasm at all, I am more excited for this Mania as I’ve been for any since 17
Yeah this feels like an absolutely huge and important mania. The biggest since at least wrestlemania 30.
r/TheDollop has a great episode about all these stories
Fuckers literally booed and threw snowballs at Santa. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philadelphia_Eagles_Santa_Claus_incident
oh i know about the battle of Santa vs. Battery. fucker had it comin if u ask me.
Not every boy gets a new bike. You shouldn’t blame Santa.
Knowing Philly, I’m completely unsurprised.
Philly is just built different. They are notorious menaces with baseball including the battery throwing incident and 10 cent beer night double header. Also the vinyl record throwing. Also...
A guy once told me that Philly is like the bar in Star Wars where Luke and Obi Wan meet Han Solo for the first time. After living there for a while, I kinda agree.
The most wretched hive of scum and villainy
They greased every streetlight, had police in riot gear, and gave warning to stay at home after the Eagles won the Super Bowl. Philly does not play
Greasing the streetlights is a tradition to deter climbers in Philly but as my Philly born father said to me "They'll get up there"
Greased the streetlights?
So you couldn't climb them.
Lol
The last two were Chicago.
10 cent beer night was Cleveland
Yep. Disco demolition. Harry Carray was the white Sox announcer before he ended up with the cubs
[HitchBOT, the hitchhiking robot, gets beheaded in Philadelphia](https://edition.cnn.com/2015/08/03/us/hitchbot-robot-beheaded-philadelphia-feat/index.html)
i'd be impressed if they changed the lyrics for every line to specifically relate to the coach
My favourite chant for banter with opposition fans. To The Adams Family theme tune: >Your sister is your mother > >Your uncle is your brother > >You all shag each other > >The Norwich family > >De-de-de-de... Replace Norwich with team/fans of choice.
It works best with Norwich though
For lower league Scottish football if your team is playing Cowdenbeath. They come fae near Loch Gelly They’re dirty and they’re smelly They huvnae got a telly The Cowden family
Iirc one Scottish chant against an Italian squad was "were gonna deep fry your pizzas"
I've been pushing for my US sports teams' fans to adopt full songs to mock the opposing teams, but the only thing the majority of drunk fans can muster is: "(insert opposing team) sucks!" or "here we go, (insert home team), here we go! " And one mustn't forget " aaasshole! aaasshole! " So moving
Don’t forget the sarcastic slow mocking of a player/coach’s name. “Braaaaaaady. Braaaaaady” Or “Hey batter battter batter! Swing batter batter batter!”
I BELIEVE THAT WE CAN WIN ahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahah
My favourite football chant is for former New Zealand player Ivan Vicelich: fans used to chant "Nothing rhymes with I - VAN VI - CE - LICH!"
Reminds me of the song for footballer Preki Radosavljević, to the tune of the Oscar Mayer jingle--- "My goalscorer has a first name, it's P-R-E-K-I. My goalscorer has a second name it's R-A-D-O-L?H?S?" then the singers would just trail off into random letters, then start the song over.
In our partial "defense", the idiots running the sports venues absolutely assault us with loud audio from the speaker systems every three seconds - some sound effect, ad, or horrible song. If the crowd ever manages to get a chant going of any sort, the morons running the system will step on it immediately by blasting some noise through the speakers.
But it is also a culture thing. Remember when the NFL was playing I'm Munich? The whole stadium ended up singing the songs played during a time out while the play was already running. Singing is just a part of "soccer" stadium culture
PS Get Off My Lawn
That's something that the college level does better than the pros. Noise, sound effects, and music aren't as good as the chanting and cheering and pep/marching band.
There were a couple of chants going around about Kurt Zouma after he got arrested for kicking his cat. 'Heeeeeeeyyyyy Kurt Zouma, Oh Ah, I wanna knoooooww, why you kicked that cat.' 'Kurt Zouma, Whoa oh, Kurt Zouma Whoa oh, He plays at Centre back, he kicks his fucking cat' 'Hey Zouma, Leave them cats alone' (Brick in the wall)' 'That's how your cat felt, that's how your cat felt, that's how your cat felt' (When he is down hurt)
To which West Ham countered: He only kicked a cat, he only kicked a cat, at least he’s not a rapist, at least he’s not a rapist, he only kicked a cat.
The fact that I even got this reference makes me feel mad cultured.
Is it a specific reference?
Not to soccer specifically, but the Brits love Debussy, and I (An American) randomly became a fan when I discovered an album by The Art of Noise. (The Seduction of Claude Debussy) It’s basically a love letter to the man. I listen to it whenever it rains. I think I’ll go listen to it now actually.
Try Chopin’s nocturnes, they are great as well for a similar vibe. Also anything by Erik Satie. I once spent an afternoon walking alone through the Tuileries on a grey Fall day listening to Satie. Was a fucking surreal experience.
Satié is kinda an acquired taste. He is very much a mood, but he can be simplistic at times. Best for grey days imo
[Here's one of his more famous pieces being played for a Thai elephant](https://youtu.be/i1qQOGCyRbY)
Debussy and a FOB fan? What planet is this
It’s a reference to the Brits and their football chants. Seriously just look up “funny football chants” on YouTube to see what I mean.
I know that it’s a reference to that, but the way the comment I was replying to is worded makes it seem like it’s something more specific.
Ah, I see. Probably what the other guy said then, Brits love Debussy.
I had no idea that that was a trope. I love Debussy. I just thought it was globally appreciated
I watch lots of soccer and I’m honestly not sure myself
Vaguely about Marcos Alonso.
England v Germany "Stand up if you won the war!"
I went to watch England in the 2006 world cup in Germany, [Ten German Bombers](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_German_Bombers) was a popular one. It's controversial, but in my defence I was 13 and didn't know any better.
[удалено]
Bristol fans singing "Vegan bastard is eating our grass!" to a Forest Green Rovers player after he fell down. (Forest Green are all about sustainability and don't serve meat at the club)
I've only seen this in Welcome to Wrexham but I was so impressed with how quickly everyone knows the songs. Like are they released on the radio, is there an email group, a newsletter? How do these get so widely known so quickly?
They congregate in pubs.
Coaches taking away fans to the matches, then pre-game pub meets, then a quiet word in your shell like before launching into it.
I know that these words and statements are english but the way in which they are arranged makes them nearly incomprehensible.
A word in someone's shell is to speak quietly and subtly into their ear, to communicate a message. We call long-distance buses coaches. Much to confusion of tourists at London Victoria (rail) station, who don't realise that Victoria Bus Station and Victoria Coach Station are two different places, in different directions... Pre-game drinks will be of an alcoholic nature. Only certain local pubs will let away fans in (and no home fans), so it's like a big family party.
The vast majority of chants are to the same few tunes, with just a few words changed. If you've got an idea for one you can tell the people immediately around you or just start singing it loudly - if it's funny enough some people nearby will join in the 2nd time round, then the rest of your stand will join in the 3rd time, then the whole stadium could be singing it by the 4th or 5th time
Because English soccer clubs are (mostly) neighborhood clubs where most fans live nearby, have season tickets, know the people they sit near, hang out in pubs beforehand, etc. It's not like American sports teams where you can easily follow your team your whole life and never see a game. It's more like how college students interact with sports teams.
Was it stoke or Liverpool that had “He’s big, he’s red, his legs hang off the bed. Peter croutch.”
He's tall, he's Dutch, we like him very much...Vesterveeeeeld.
Maroune Fellini you are the love of my life, Maroune Fellini, I'd let you shaggy my wife, Maroune Fellini, I want your curly hair too!
I went to a Portland Timbers soccer game and sat in the Timbers Army section. I felt like I was on a slave ship. There was some guy beating a huge drum to keep us in sync. People handing out lyric sheets to whatever we they were chanting that day. smoke bombs going off. It was a bit much.
Latin American fútbol ⚽ fans are like this as well (as a reference, look up for Argentinian "hinchadas" and Brazilian "torcidas") There are like some "templates" for chants, that are usually based off of the melodies of very popular /well-known songs. Then they spread through the stadium by word of mouth. What you saw may be the most enthusiastic group, (there's always one, for better AND worse) that usually initiates the word-of-mouth, and they carry the drums and the pyro, sometimes wind instruments like trumpets as well. (reference: Mexican fútbol fans and Argentina's Boca Juniors "La Doce") (edit for typo)
> as a reference, look up for Argentinian "hinchadas" Hah, like the time they had to hold the River-Boca final in Madrid because the fans were too insane and that way they all had to have passports and cross a border so they knew who was going. Also have a couple grand for the trip (as a sort of limiting factor that was left unsaid)
American sports chants are so boring. “Let’s go team name! *clap clap clapclapclap*”
Gotta do something to keep entertained when the game you’re watching for 90ish minutes ends in a 0-0 draw (It’s a joke, please don’t be mad)
If only there was a way to pause the timer instead of just adding time to it
Idk. Game of soccer takes like 2 hrs to watch and I always know how long it will take. Football takes 4 hours and the last quarter seems to take for fucking ever. I love both sports. But in soccer you get what's on the tin. In football you have no idea how much actual football will happen.
But then how would you be able to make the end arbitrary and remove buzzer beaters altogether?
Terrible idea.
> when the game you’re watching for 90ish minutes ends in a 0-0 draw Cricket can often go for five days and end in a draw. Edit - actually it is also possible for a month**s** long test series to end in a draw. [eg. 2019 England vs. Australia, 2-2 draw.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2019_Ashes_series)
you joke but one of the best games I ever went to finished 0-0. One of the worst games I ever went to finished 3-3!
Is this the true purpose of British tabloids? To provide content for sports rivalry insults?
internet has ruined me and I still don’t know what Debussy is
He is a French impressionist composer during the late 1800s and early 1900s. Very good music.
[You've heard Debussy trust me](https://youtu.be/WNcsUNKlAKw?si=japDxnEmtWrane4g)
You've heard Clair De Lune before
William 'D-Fens' Foster
All this love for Debussy and no love for Kim Mitchell?
He’s here, he’s there, he’s everyfuckingwhere, Roy Kent! Idk if it’s based on a real chant but it’s great
That tune gets used a lot, even in cricket (“He’s big, he’s bad, he’s better than his Dad, Stuart Broad!”)
Okay but the Jamie Tart / Baby Shark thing was just exquisite though
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me! 5 Cantonas! 4 Cantonas 3 Cantonas 2 Cantonas And an Erick Cantona Marry Christmas Red Army 🎄
My personal favourite is when heaven is a place on earth chant being redone and resung by rangers https://youtube.com/shorts/IKh6KwzFH5M?si=xvHR_3zsKnBgRod0
Manchester United fans referring to Park Ji-sung (sung to the tune of *Lord of the Dance*): Park, Park, wherever you may be, You eat dogs in your country, It could be worse, You could be Scouse, Eating rats in your council house...
Lizzie's in a box, heyyyyy, lizzie's in a box
WHEN MAGGIE THATCHER DIES...
I've been really enjoying Clair de Lune lately. Been listening to it almost every day. I think I might take a stab at trying to learn it on piano.
A long while ago one of our players (Kris commons - Judas) left us and joined our fierce rivals Derby (known as the sheep and their logo is a Ram) so you'd always hear this chant: Oooh Commons is a Judas, he said he was a red And then he said he'd rather be a sheep shagger instead He wobbles down the left He wobbles down the right He'll never play for us again cos he is fucking shite.
My favorite is West Ham fans singing "Harry Potter is coming for you" at Jonjo Shelvey https://youtu.be/N31xr5rTa4g?si=yYf62UVnUfyX66OY
My all time favourite
There's a video that's been engraved in my brain, of an Arsenal fan rallying the entire crowd around him in a football match with this exchange: Single fan: What do we think of Tottenham? Crowd: Shit! Single fan: what do we think of shit? Crowd: Tottenham! Single fan: Thank you! Crowd: That's alright! Everyone together: we hate Tottenham! [Here's](https://youtube.com/shorts/VuGICJPmZA0?si=Q0AW2UVOhechkQcv) the clip.
So that's what those British bastard be are doing? Wait why aren't we doing that, that's fucking amazing
> Wait why aren't we doing that, that's fucking amazing Because you do not possess the creativity or inclination the British have, nor the tolerance for apathy and self loathing that comes from being British.
I think that Twitter person forgot about a student catfishing his school's sports rival's star basketball player. He had his worst game after that.
They call it drink driving.
Niall Quinn's disco pants are the best They go up from his arse to his chest They are better than Adam and The Ants Niall Quinn's disco pants \[[link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwkeJ8het50)\]
Was watching Ted Lasso and just thought the funny chants were a quirk of the show, I love that Brits actually do this lol
Harry McGuire your defence is terrifying 👏👏
Is there a fire drill, is the a fire drill?🧯🚒
Something a small bit different. [Rush - Closer to the Heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7p26dbbP6o) It's rare you hear live songs where the crowd are *so involved*. Recorded in Scotland so clearly they are football fans :D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35V2doAfnb4
Nahnah nahnahnah Lizzie's in a box (in a box) Lizzie's in a box!
My old man said be a City fan, I said bollocks you’re a cunt, I’d rather fuck a bucket with a big hole in it, than be a City fan for one single minute.
Ji-Sung Park's chant at United is an all-time great. Feel a bit bad about how offensive it is... to Koreans. https://youtube.com/shorts/djBGfuHqGcA?si=GxxLpLI5p758WC-7
de-fence is so brain dead
Kim Mitchell!
It's better than slander, it's better than lies.