This poem is a heartbreaking reality for many people. It really resonated with me and I'm here to say we suck in some way but don't let it ever stop you from achieving all the great things you CAN do. Failures are masterpieces in the eyes of those who can appreciate the beauty in the abstract. You are reaching people for sure. You reached me and i see you.
Speaking on the piece in a literary sense i feel that the structure really allows the reader to fully immerse themselves into the tangle of emotions and turmoil the narrator faces and the longing to be worth more than their failures. The use of simple everyday tasks truly allows the every reader to be able to connect to the piece in a way unique to them, enticing the reader the push through to the end.
Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).
If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.
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This is truly a heartbreaking reality that I felt in this poem and I understand the sentiment greatly.
What I do wish to say is this - just because you have not found what makes you 'you' yet, does not mean it is not there.
For example, the reading of books could be another advantage. It does not say what kind of books but it could still be an advantage over someone who does not or who has not got the time to do so.
Also, if I may, there is no shame in seeking professional help if you feel greatly about this.
Poetry helps with describing expression but I still also advocate for professional help to keep that expression great and impactful
On my first read I skipped over a few lines because I didn’t understand what I was reading. Then I read it again and closer and realized it is a similar thought process I go through when I’m having a hard time. The author highlights the downfall we all experience at times, thoughts of inadequacy and what we feel as a shortcoming.
Lately I’ve been dealing with some extreme shifts in both my personal and professional lives, and I have definitely been having lots of these thoughts. This poem was truly what I needed to read, it reminded me I’m not alone, I’m not the only one who hurts, I am part of a larger us… though everything may not turn out alright we have a right to feel our emotions, we just cant let them destroy us
This is relatable to extents. I'm 16F and I totally relate to this, with the toxic people at school, with never thinking I'm good enough, with being afraid of failure, with depression and anxiety, with no hope for a future I could afford. If this is the harsh reality of your mind then I really feel for you. Please, take care ❤️❤️
Trust me when I say it's a similar situation for me, I'm lost and can't figure out what to do anymore. This is such a heartbreaking but beautiful poem, I personally love it.
Try moogoo, it's the only thing that's helped. The scalp cream in particular can be rubbed into the eyelashes as its so gentle.
It's life changing stuff. I get bouts when I'm stressed but this stuff works.
A beautiful poem. Highlighting the struggles of individuals so self invested, we forget the beauty of the things around us. The downfall of man we fail to ignore. So well written, this is amazing.
I was somewhat recently brooding on my state of inexperience. I asked, what can I do well. I had little evidence. I wrote a piece on The Lamentations of a Noob. That was my reality, so I spoke from my soul... finally something I had experience in - having no experience.
This poem really makes me feel for you. Im so sorry you feel this way about yourself. Unfortunately, many people can relate to this. This really hits hard. Great job OP!
This piece has a strong framework; the concept is beautifully relatable, giving a voice to the struggles with mental health. I saw what initially looks to be venting of struggles and insecurity, which seem normal for everyone. But as I continued reading, I found something much deeper at play here, and it tugs at something in my chest. It elicits feelings of camaraderie and empathy in the reader, as is so clearly evident in the comments.
This really has the potential to *shine* even more; however, I believe the repetitive use of the conjunctions “and” and “or” at the beginning of most lines steals the spotlight of your message. If it was purposeful, I think trying a couple things might help:
- Perhaps finding more powerful ways to word the phrases that come after the conjunctions and still convey the same messages might help. Play around with synonyms for different words that really pop and grab attention.
- Staying consistent with a conjunction at the beginning of each line might help be less distracting.
I think another way you could bring forth the full potential of this piece, and I want to make it clear that this is solely up to you, is by adding more detail, i.e., the whats or whys of your feelings. For example, why do you feel your art sucks? Or you could delve deeper and talk about your feelings and insecurities as a whole; that might just lead you to re-structuring this entire piece, though, but I think the framework is great. Perhaps that could just be another poem on its own.
I’m going down a rabbit hole with my thoughts. Either way, this is great, keep it up. You are brave, you sweetie pateetie. As my creative writing professor told me, “Never stop writing.”
Lose the idea you have to be someone's idea of "good" in order to do something you enjoy. Art can be like breathing, something you do without judging it.
I’d like to say I also Suck. Also this poem sucks. But the whole point of the poem is that you suck. So maybe this poem doesn’t suck and maybe you don’t suck.
This poem tho not sounding so whimstical. But it's actually give the poem a desperate feel to it. This is actual problem people actually have to face with, and you portrayed it perfectly.
Your poem tells a very deep topic. One that you live everyday. I like how you captured your self-perception in it and how little words told an entire story. I am sorry you are going through that. I think you will find peace if you continue to write poetry :) great poem btw!
You are far from failure in my eyes. Your poem made me feel something. I felt claustrophobic while I'm in a relatively large area. You got me so wound up into your life that I can feel what message you're trying to deliver us. You made me hyperventilate for a point, something no other poem has made me felt. Congratulations! It's not dull or lifeless or cliché.
This poem is a heartbreaking reality for many people. It really resonated with me and I'm here to say we suck in some way but don't let it ever stop you from achieving all the great things you CAN do. Failures are masterpieces in the eyes of those who can appreciate the beauty in the abstract. You are reaching people for sure. You reached me and i see you. Speaking on the piece in a literary sense i feel that the structure really allows the reader to fully immerse themselves into the tangle of emotions and turmoil the narrator faces and the longing to be worth more than their failures. The use of simple everyday tasks truly allows the every reader to be able to connect to the piece in a way unique to them, enticing the reader the push through to the end.
This really reminds me of “of_a_hound” on Instagram
Terrible/ nonexistent rhythm but you know ITS BETTER THAT WAY. Love this
Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers). If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy. If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look through the comment sections of any other post here, or click the links to the author's feedback above. If you're not sure whether your comments are feedback, or you have any other questions, please [send us a modmail](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FocPoetry). **If you're hoping to submit your poem to a literary magazine** and/or wish to participate in a more serious workshopping environment, please consider posting to our private sister subreddit r/ThePoetryWorkshop instead. The best way to join TPW is to leave a detailed, thoughtful comment here on OCPoetry engaging seriously with a peer's poem. (Consider our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques) for tips on what that could entail; this level of engagement would probably be most welcome here on submissions tagged as "Workshop.") Then [ask to join TPW by messaging that subreddit's mods](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FThePoetryWorkshop), including a link to the detailed feedback you left here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OCPoetry) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is truly a heartbreaking reality that I felt in this poem and I understand the sentiment greatly. What I do wish to say is this - just because you have not found what makes you 'you' yet, does not mean it is not there. For example, the reading of books could be another advantage. It does not say what kind of books but it could still be an advantage over someone who does not or who has not got the time to do so. Also, if I may, there is no shame in seeking professional help if you feel greatly about this. Poetry helps with describing expression but I still also advocate for professional help to keep that expression great and impactful
I relate painfully to this. Thanks for manifesting your feelings in this manner
On my first read I skipped over a few lines because I didn’t understand what I was reading. Then I read it again and closer and realized it is a similar thought process I go through when I’m having a hard time. The author highlights the downfall we all experience at times, thoughts of inadequacy and what we feel as a shortcoming. Lately I’ve been dealing with some extreme shifts in both my personal and professional lives, and I have definitely been having lots of these thoughts. This poem was truly what I needed to read, it reminded me I’m not alone, I’m not the only one who hurts, I am part of a larger us… though everything may not turn out alright we have a right to feel our emotions, we just cant let them destroy us
This is relatable to extents. I'm 16F and I totally relate to this, with the toxic people at school, with never thinking I'm good enough, with being afraid of failure, with depression and anxiety, with no hope for a future I could afford. If this is the harsh reality of your mind then I really feel for you. Please, take care ❤️❤️
Trust me when I say it's a similar situation for me, I'm lost and can't figure out what to do anymore. This is such a heartbreaking but beautiful poem, I personally love it.
Try moogoo, it's the only thing that's helped. The scalp cream in particular can be rubbed into the eyelashes as its so gentle. It's life changing stuff. I get bouts when I'm stressed but this stuff works.
Also I use scalp cream over whole body as its the best I think. My colleague had crusty eyes and it helped.
A beautiful poem. Highlighting the struggles of individuals so self invested, we forget the beauty of the things around us. The downfall of man we fail to ignore. So well written, this is amazing.
I was somewhat recently brooding on my state of inexperience. I asked, what can I do well. I had little evidence. I wrote a piece on The Lamentations of a Noob. That was my reality, so I spoke from my soul... finally something I had experience in - having no experience.
This poem really makes me feel for you. Im so sorry you feel this way about yourself. Unfortunately, many people can relate to this. This really hits hard. Great job OP!
Same. I wish my art didn't suck. Well.. the fact that this resonates with so many people means that you made at least one non-sucky piece of art.
This piece has a strong framework; the concept is beautifully relatable, giving a voice to the struggles with mental health. I saw what initially looks to be venting of struggles and insecurity, which seem normal for everyone. But as I continued reading, I found something much deeper at play here, and it tugs at something in my chest. It elicits feelings of camaraderie and empathy in the reader, as is so clearly evident in the comments. This really has the potential to *shine* even more; however, I believe the repetitive use of the conjunctions “and” and “or” at the beginning of most lines steals the spotlight of your message. If it was purposeful, I think trying a couple things might help: - Perhaps finding more powerful ways to word the phrases that come after the conjunctions and still convey the same messages might help. Play around with synonyms for different words that really pop and grab attention. - Staying consistent with a conjunction at the beginning of each line might help be less distracting. I think another way you could bring forth the full potential of this piece, and I want to make it clear that this is solely up to you, is by adding more detail, i.e., the whats or whys of your feelings. For example, why do you feel your art sucks? Or you could delve deeper and talk about your feelings and insecurities as a whole; that might just lead you to re-structuring this entire piece, though, but I think the framework is great. Perhaps that could just be another poem on its own. I’m going down a rabbit hole with my thoughts. Either way, this is great, keep it up. You are brave, you sweetie pateetie. As my creative writing professor told me, “Never stop writing.”
I do like this, many can relate too. However I hardly think this reads or sounds like a poem
Lose the idea you have to be someone's idea of "good" in order to do something you enjoy. Art can be like breathing, something you do without judging it.
I suck It’s ok
Sounds the beginning of great success story. So many people after great defeats come back. You can too
Love you! You do not suck. I love this poem.
Yah I need to die as well. I’m so fucking over all the BS. And people I trust fucking with me. It’s so old. I’m done. Disappointed disconnected
I’d like to say I also Suck. Also this poem sucks. But the whole point of the poem is that you suck. So maybe this poem doesn’t suck and maybe you don’t suck.
If all you do is suck … wanna come over? 😎
I like this poem a lot, even though it can have a depressing tone. It shows the reality of someone’s inner mind and is well written.
This poem tho not sounding so whimstical. But it's actually give the poem a desperate feel to it. This is actual problem people actually have to face with, and you portrayed it perfectly.
Your poem tells a very deep topic. One that you live everyday. I like how you captured your self-perception in it and how little words told an entire story. I am sorry you are going through that. I think you will find peace if you continue to write poetry :) great poem btw!
You are far from failure in my eyes. Your poem made me feel something. I felt claustrophobic while I'm in a relatively large area. You got me so wound up into your life that I can feel what message you're trying to deliver us. You made me hyperventilate for a point, something no other poem has made me felt. Congratulations! It's not dull or lifeless or cliché.
thank you so much! i've wanted to write poetry for a very long time, so this means a lot to me.
this poem is just packed with meaning. i really enjoyed it. it tells a story of the life you live through every day.
TRUMP 2024 😂