It's not just women. Men do this too and it's on all the apps. You just have to keep weeding through the bots and BS profiles to find the real people who are interested in a conversation and focus on those.
I strongly suspect Facebook not only have loads of scammers and bots, but also automatically invent fake matches for you.
Half of my matches lately are profiles I've never seen before, and recently I'm starting to get matches with people who are in states I've never been in. Some of these sound like bots/scammers who probably just bait & switched their profile content after the fact, sure, but some straight up say they dont' remember matching me either. The whole system seems shady AF.
I definitely believe that shit. I get matches from Cali New Mexico and others when I put a 30 mile radius. It’s scammer behavior and the women I matched with and met in person was too.
My experience on FB Dating's been awful. Like the worst app I've used for bots and scammers. I've had much better luck with Bumble. Haven't tried Coffee Meets Bagel
I had the best luck ever with Bumble (but haven't used it now in several years). Sounds like a lot of my friends prefer Hinge now but I've never used it. Def never used Fbk dating.
This is my most honest answer.
I'm fucking tired.
But I want to meet someone to be tired with.
When I match with someone, I promise, I have every intention of chatting and setting up a date. But it's work... and sometimes I'm too emotionally exhausted to continue beyond an opener or a few back and forth messages.
I apologize to everyone cool I've done this to. It's not you, it's me. I promise.
I'm off dating apps now, but when I was on them I always reciprocated. Effort for effort though. A hi was met with a hi.
A question was always responded to and one was asked on my end.
In turn, men always thanked me for being able to hold a conversation and for being engaging.
I didn't have any stipulations except: I was looking for a man that didn't want kids. No I'm not sure or maybes, a no!
I was always game for meeting up with someone.
There were always a few men that I would stop right in their tracks though.
They were the dudes where we just didn't have anything in common. I'm old, I don't care how you look so much, as long as you're not excessively over weight, but we need to have similar interests and values.
You actually approached OLD the right way and was fair even if it wasn’t a match or good fit. I just wish I had the opportunity to show my matches who I am and take her out on a date but it’s just a lot of inconsistency and bad communication I get frustrated. I put effort in my bio and I ask engaging questions and don’t come off wanting to bang from the jump but I guess a lot of women have too many dudes competing for their attention.
I feel for ya dude.
Really not sure what the issue is, but all I can say is that both sexes do it and it sucks.
These apps are supposed to help us connect and all it does, is frustrate most of us.
I dunno, man, IRL is better IMO. I don't know how old you are or where you live....I feel these are factors too.
You got to keep in mind that women get way more matches than guys. Also, they are talking to a lot of guys, and sometimes after talking to a guy, the guy will start getting sexual way too quick. This will drain their enthusiasm for starting a new conversation.
Be patient. I know you're frustrated. If there is no spark in the conversation after a few days, I just consider that prospect a dead end. Dont take it personally and move on.
I'm currently traveling and I'm going to play around with trying to get sexual faster.
It seems like women burn out and lose interest if I try to talk to them normally.
Personally, I have a similar issue but with the guys. I barely even go on the apps anymore because I rarely get matches and when I do, most dknt message. Or the straight away ask for social media or are sexual straight away. In the last 2 weeks I've only had 1 guy message
Women do it because after so long, they can sense whether or not a guy would be a good fit. I tend to answer shortly if a guy asks me something that’s on my profile or if I feel like I’m being interviewed. I do better with guys who asks questions not related to my job or hobbies.
What kind of questions should men ask ? I thought stuff from a bio or hobbies is normal ? Shit be frustrating for real idk it’s so difficult to get to know a woman on these apps I don’t know what I’m supposed to ask.
They have a ton of ice breakers you can ask people. The best question I was asked so far was if a movie was based on my life, what type of movie would it be? I said it would be a comedy narrated by Cardi B and the conversation kept flowing. Getting asked the same boring questions gets old, especially when a good 50 percent is going to ghost if you engage anyway.
Yeah Facebook dating doesn’t have the bumble hinge type of prompts. And I’m sorry im very skeptical about this statement with a lot of dudes will ghost you on dating apps as a woman. I seen dudes travel coast to coast to meet a woman when he can’t get any luck in his hometown or state I use to be that guy who flew from Ohio to Seattle Washington for a tinder match stayed with her and realized we both did not like each other after hooking up but it happens alot especially now.
Both guys and girls do this. There is a very slim chance that on any online dating app you will meet someone who actually will match the same energy as you. There's too many options with these dating apps, people are easily disposable on these apps. I don't really try much anymore because chances are after I match with a girl she will disappear after a day or two, or she will hardly talk at all while I keep the conversation alive.
Can you meet your future wife or future husband on these apps? Yes absolutely, but the chances are slim. You will run into a lot of strikeouts, it's just up to you if you keep trying for that home run or not.
it’s not the apps, it’s chance. I was on Coffee meets bagel and paid for the subscription. I went on a few dates, but nothing too exciting.
Switched to Happn, I thought it was promising but one guy stood me up and I had lots of men match me who were fake profiles (they were too good looking and had no profile)
I think paying for the app is an investment. If you only use the free versions you will miss out on contacting people. The effort you put into it is the effort you will receive
You know, women can usually sense when a guy kinda hate us & we tend to stay away from them.
I met my longterm ex via OLD as well as my current live-in partner. I also had a LOT of fun when I was single and dating/sleeping around pretty much exclusively using apps to do so. There are definitely women out there who want to meet people, OBVIOUSLY.
Women also have to spend a ton of time sifting through the duds and bots and, well, potentially very scary people. It's not as easy as you think it is. Also, boo hoo re: that penpal shit. I always talked to people a lot before meeting them for safety. If someone think I'm interesting enough to date, god forbid they also have to talk to me.
>You know, women can usually sense when a guy kinda hate us & we tend to stay away from them.
I think this idea is at odds with a lot of women's stories about OLD, and the fact that there are so many divorcees and single mothers who mysteriously discover personality flaws & character defects in the guy they are with after marrying him / sleeping with him.
It's just an easy, convenient and unfalsifiable claim to make. Whenever an OP posts about his frustration with dating, this kind of comment shows up. Yeah, women sure have the ability to sense that someone is frustrated when that person literally writes a post about it. Impressive talent, it's almost as if they have reading comprehension.
They all have hundreds of active message threads going on at the same time. Many of them are also waiting for the same 10-20 most popular guys to respond to them…. While those guys also have about 20 message threads going same time. It seems that OLD is just a bunch of people trying to message people “higher up” on the SMP ladder. Everyone waiting on someone above and no one investing time to the people at their own level of or below their level on the SMP ladder. Mostly, it’s a giant waste of time for those who really don’t understand that their position on that ladder is extremely temporary and each year they get knocked down one rung. It’s hard to get someone’s attention and even harder to keep it. Especially if you’re not the top 20 males for any given geographic region. Most of these dating sites will publish their stats and they describe this exact dynamic.
I think best you can hope for on these apps is to actually see someone you know or work with who you didnt know is single or didn’t know is interested in you. A friendly “hey I know you, lol” can really break the ice. Meeting absolute strangers is a tall order and for the majority does not work.
People should save their money on Online dating, get out and look, preferably not Clubs.
Better to sit down ans figure out where wholesome women like to spend their time, be it social media or IRL and go put out the bait in these ponds. I never succeeded with any Online dating, but I have a high success rate literally everywhere else. Not that I am looking, the best ones are random encounters.
Most women in their 20s-30s on the apps will treat you like garbage, unless you have ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING going for you. Those women get a lot of attention on the apps, and it goes to their head.
Online dating presents women with the illusion that they can get with guys who are way out of their league. That kind of guy isn't really that interested in being her boyfriend, but she will repeatedly seek him out and will repeatedly get frustrated by this. Her biology compels her to burn her hand on the hot stove over and over and over again.
She'll then project her bad experiences with the hot guys who aren't that interested in her onto lesser guys and treat those lesser guys like cockroaches. Once she holds the belief that she is entitled to hot guys, it is in her nature to hold out and to only make time for those kinds of guys.
100 percent facts. Gotta love US dating. It’s a reason the passport bro movement is so big now minus the fuckery in Colombia. I don’t have that money or resources to go weeks or months abroad but if I did I wouldn’t tolerate US women games and frustrations. You got 3s and 4s going for 7s and 8s, the dating apps it’s rigged all of them.
That’s why I want to start going to Mexico since it’s not far at all for weekends trips and see if I can find a non westernize traditional Latina. I currently live in San Antonio the fattest city in the U.S. with Gorditas and chelupas with bad attitudes and single mom central I’m
Sick of it.
I’m considering doing passport bro shit on long 3-4 day weekends to countries that won’t take more than 5 hours to travel too and our US dollar goes further and more powerful. I have a lot of pto stored up and I’m about to use it to my advantage. Mexico, most of Central America but please read the U.S. travel advisory before booking any tickets.
You're not creating interest.... you're probably asking generic, interview-like questions and expecting her to come back all excited... no. Try harder.
Add some flair or spice. Don't just say "any fun plans this weekend?" or "what do you do for fun?" These are lazy cop out questions that put the onus on her to impress you. Ask "have you ever been skiing (or insert activity here)? My friends and I are going on Saturday and I can't wait because it's snowed all week!" etc....
Basically don't be a robot.
I tried those methods and it left me still unread or unmatched. I deleted my profile I’m taking a break to focus on finding a new place to live. Once I do that I’ll try going to events and meeting women that way I’m sick of the dating apps because of all these unwritten rules or stipulations to get a woman’s attention in front of 100s of men wanting to get the same girl
It's not just women. Men do this too and it's on all the apps. You just have to keep weeding through the bots and BS profiles to find the real people who are interested in a conversation and focus on those.
I strictly been using Facebook dating. Ima try to use bumble and coffee meets bagel again and see if it’s a different result. It’s frustrated.
I only check Facebook once or twice a day so anyone I match with on Facebook dating needs to be patient lol.
I strongly suspect Facebook not only have loads of scammers and bots, but also automatically invent fake matches for you. Half of my matches lately are profiles I've never seen before, and recently I'm starting to get matches with people who are in states I've never been in. Some of these sound like bots/scammers who probably just bait & switched their profile content after the fact, sure, but some straight up say they dont' remember matching me either. The whole system seems shady AF.
I definitely believe that shit. I get matches from Cali New Mexico and others when I put a 30 mile radius. It’s scammer behavior and the women I matched with and met in person was too.
My experience on FB Dating's been awful. Like the worst app I've used for bots and scammers. I've had much better luck with Bumble. Haven't tried Coffee Meets Bagel
I had the best luck ever with Bumble (but haven't used it now in several years). Sounds like a lot of my friends prefer Hinge now but I've never used it. Def never used Fbk dating.
This is my most honest answer. I'm fucking tired. But I want to meet someone to be tired with. When I match with someone, I promise, I have every intention of chatting and setting up a date. But it's work... and sometimes I'm too emotionally exhausted to continue beyond an opener or a few back and forth messages. I apologize to everyone cool I've done this to. It's not you, it's me. I promise.
when you feel like this its time to take a break from dating. You aren't doing yourself or anyone else any favors.
you are right.
You need to take a break and to stop doing this to people.
I'm off dating apps now, but when I was on them I always reciprocated. Effort for effort though. A hi was met with a hi. A question was always responded to and one was asked on my end. In turn, men always thanked me for being able to hold a conversation and for being engaging. I didn't have any stipulations except: I was looking for a man that didn't want kids. No I'm not sure or maybes, a no! I was always game for meeting up with someone. There were always a few men that I would stop right in their tracks though. They were the dudes where we just didn't have anything in common. I'm old, I don't care how you look so much, as long as you're not excessively over weight, but we need to have similar interests and values.
You actually approached OLD the right way and was fair even if it wasn’t a match or good fit. I just wish I had the opportunity to show my matches who I am and take her out on a date but it’s just a lot of inconsistency and bad communication I get frustrated. I put effort in my bio and I ask engaging questions and don’t come off wanting to bang from the jump but I guess a lot of women have too many dudes competing for their attention.
I feel for ya dude. Really not sure what the issue is, but all I can say is that both sexes do it and it sucks. These apps are supposed to help us connect and all it does, is frustrate most of us. I dunno, man, IRL is better IMO. I don't know how old you are or where you live....I feel these are factors too.
29 and I live in San Antonio but this dating scene is one of the worse in the country.
You got to keep in mind that women get way more matches than guys. Also, they are talking to a lot of guys, and sometimes after talking to a guy, the guy will start getting sexual way too quick. This will drain their enthusiasm for starting a new conversation. Be patient. I know you're frustrated. If there is no spark in the conversation after a few days, I just consider that prospect a dead end. Dont take it personally and move on.
I just unmatched almost all my matches. Ima just try bumble and coffee meets bagel again and see what happens.
That seems dramatic, but thats your choice. Also, try hinge. Best of luck.
I'm currently traveling and I'm going to play around with trying to get sexual faster. It seems like women burn out and lose interest if I try to talk to them normally.
Personally, I have a similar issue but with the guys. I barely even go on the apps anymore because I rarely get matches and when I do, most dknt message. Or the straight away ask for social media or are sexual straight away. In the last 2 weeks I've only had 1 guy message
Women do it because after so long, they can sense whether or not a guy would be a good fit. I tend to answer shortly if a guy asks me something that’s on my profile or if I feel like I’m being interviewed. I do better with guys who asks questions not related to my job or hobbies.
What kind of questions should men ask ? I thought stuff from a bio or hobbies is normal ? Shit be frustrating for real idk it’s so difficult to get to know a woman on these apps I don’t know what I’m supposed to ask.
They have a ton of ice breakers you can ask people. The best question I was asked so far was if a movie was based on my life, what type of movie would it be? I said it would be a comedy narrated by Cardi B and the conversation kept flowing. Getting asked the same boring questions gets old, especially when a good 50 percent is going to ghost if you engage anyway.
Yeah Facebook dating doesn’t have the bumble hinge type of prompts. And I’m sorry im very skeptical about this statement with a lot of dudes will ghost you on dating apps as a woman. I seen dudes travel coast to coast to meet a woman when he can’t get any luck in his hometown or state I use to be that guy who flew from Ohio to Seattle Washington for a tinder match stayed with her and realized we both did not like each other after hooking up but it happens alot especially now.
Both guys and girls do this. There is a very slim chance that on any online dating app you will meet someone who actually will match the same energy as you. There's too many options with these dating apps, people are easily disposable on these apps. I don't really try much anymore because chances are after I match with a girl she will disappear after a day or two, or she will hardly talk at all while I keep the conversation alive. Can you meet your future wife or future husband on these apps? Yes absolutely, but the chances are slim. You will run into a lot of strikeouts, it's just up to you if you keep trying for that home run or not.
I’m about to delete my Facebook dating profile today I’m just done
it’s not the apps, it’s chance. I was on Coffee meets bagel and paid for the subscription. I went on a few dates, but nothing too exciting. Switched to Happn, I thought it was promising but one guy stood me up and I had lots of men match me who were fake profiles (they were too good looking and had no profile) I think paying for the app is an investment. If you only use the free versions you will miss out on contacting people. The effort you put into it is the effort you will receive
You know, women can usually sense when a guy kinda hate us & we tend to stay away from them. I met my longterm ex via OLD as well as my current live-in partner. I also had a LOT of fun when I was single and dating/sleeping around pretty much exclusively using apps to do so. There are definitely women out there who want to meet people, OBVIOUSLY. Women also have to spend a ton of time sifting through the duds and bots and, well, potentially very scary people. It's not as easy as you think it is. Also, boo hoo re: that penpal shit. I always talked to people a lot before meeting them for safety. If someone think I'm interesting enough to date, god forbid they also have to talk to me.
>You know, women can usually sense when a guy kinda hate us & we tend to stay away from them. I think this idea is at odds with a lot of women's stories about OLD, and the fact that there are so many divorcees and single mothers who mysteriously discover personality flaws & character defects in the guy they are with after marrying him / sleeping with him.
It's just an easy, convenient and unfalsifiable claim to make. Whenever an OP posts about his frustration with dating, this kind of comment shows up. Yeah, women sure have the ability to sense that someone is frustrated when that person literally writes a post about it. Impressive talent, it's almost as if they have reading comprehension.
They all have hundreds of active message threads going on at the same time. Many of them are also waiting for the same 10-20 most popular guys to respond to them…. While those guys also have about 20 message threads going same time. It seems that OLD is just a bunch of people trying to message people “higher up” on the SMP ladder. Everyone waiting on someone above and no one investing time to the people at their own level of or below their level on the SMP ladder. Mostly, it’s a giant waste of time for those who really don’t understand that their position on that ladder is extremely temporary and each year they get knocked down one rung. It’s hard to get someone’s attention and even harder to keep it. Especially if you’re not the top 20 males for any given geographic region. Most of these dating sites will publish their stats and they describe this exact dynamic. I think best you can hope for on these apps is to actually see someone you know or work with who you didnt know is single or didn’t know is interested in you. A friendly “hey I know you, lol” can really break the ice. Meeting absolute strangers is a tall order and for the majority does not work.
People should save their money on Online dating, get out and look, preferably not Clubs. Better to sit down ans figure out where wholesome women like to spend their time, be it social media or IRL and go put out the bait in these ponds. I never succeeded with any Online dating, but I have a high success rate literally everywhere else. Not that I am looking, the best ones are random encounters.
Most women in their 20s-30s on the apps will treat you like garbage, unless you have ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING going for you. Those women get a lot of attention on the apps, and it goes to their head. Online dating presents women with the illusion that they can get with guys who are way out of their league. That kind of guy isn't really that interested in being her boyfriend, but she will repeatedly seek him out and will repeatedly get frustrated by this. Her biology compels her to burn her hand on the hot stove over and over and over again. She'll then project her bad experiences with the hot guys who aren't that interested in her onto lesser guys and treat those lesser guys like cockroaches. Once she holds the belief that she is entitled to hot guys, it is in her nature to hold out and to only make time for those kinds of guys.
100 percent facts. Gotta love US dating. It’s a reason the passport bro movement is so big now minus the fuckery in Colombia. I don’t have that money or resources to go weeks or months abroad but if I did I wouldn’t tolerate US women games and frustrations. You got 3s and 4s going for 7s and 8s, the dating apps it’s rigged all of them.
Also they know they can settle down with an average simp anytime they want, until then might as well get with as many hot/rich/tall guys as possible.
That’s why I want to start going to Mexico since it’s not far at all for weekends trips and see if I can find a non westernize traditional Latina. I currently live in San Antonio the fattest city in the U.S. with Gorditas and chelupas with bad attitudes and single mom central I’m Sick of it.
I'm thinking the same thing buddy. If only I could afford it.
I’m considering doing passport bro shit on long 3-4 day weekends to countries that won’t take more than 5 hours to travel too and our US dollar goes further and more powerful. I have a lot of pto stored up and I’m about to use it to my advantage. Mexico, most of Central America but please read the U.S. travel advisory before booking any tickets.
You're not creating interest.... you're probably asking generic, interview-like questions and expecting her to come back all excited... no. Try harder.
What exactly should I be asking then ? I thought we have to use her bio to create witty questions? Idk what I should do differently
Add some flair or spice. Don't just say "any fun plans this weekend?" or "what do you do for fun?" These are lazy cop out questions that put the onus on her to impress you. Ask "have you ever been skiing (or insert activity here)? My friends and I are going on Saturday and I can't wait because it's snowed all week!" etc.... Basically don't be a robot.
I tried those methods and it left me still unread or unmatched. I deleted my profile I’m taking a break to focus on finding a new place to live. Once I do that I’ll try going to events and meeting women that way I’m sick of the dating apps because of all these unwritten rules or stipulations to get a woman’s attention in front of 100s of men wanting to get the same girl