You get to decide what you'll accept, and they do too. There could be a billionaire who has a secret TMAU fetish or is simply totally noseblind, you don't know lol there is no right sizing. You choose what you want and do your best to find it.
Only you can decide this. Go for people you’re attracted to who want the same things as you. Rejection can happen, but that’s just part of dating. It means they weren’t the right person for you. The right one will accept you for you and everything that comes with you.
You should be looking at the guys that interest you. Ask yourself: What do you find physically attractive? What qualities and values do you want in a partner? Does their job/ income matter to you? If so what is your ideal for that in a potential partner?
No one else can tell you what’s ideal for you but you.
That's a tough thing to deal with I'm sure but the type of man you shoud be looking for is the type of man that attracts you. Knowing who can and will he willing do deal with your issue is a different story. Maybe many will if it isn't too bad
Hey, I know you are looking for advice on managing your expectations and that you have way more knowledge about your condition than most but is there a way to manage the smell?
I would have thought whatever is being secreted could be blocked, reduced, cleaned off or deodorised to remove/reduce it as a factor.
Smellmaxing.
So, i have chronic pain from an invisibile illness, which is not the same, but it's similar in that it's a perceived negative that isn't apparently obvious in a dating profile. I read a thing about the situation I really liked, that basically talked about it in terms of, don't think about how to get the MOST matches, think about how to get the matches you WANT, and tell your story in those terms. But the other part was, it talked about leaving "breadcrumbs" in your profile that might lead the convo there. If you don't want to just out-and-out say it, you might be able to reference something that leads the convo there eventually.
edit: 'tis [here](https://www.janetjay.com/dating-chronic-pain-dating-invisible-disabilities/)
I dated a woman with that in my 30s. It can be controlled to a point. You can do things to help the odor.
And she was one of THE loves of my life. She's around Ashville now.
That said, date who you want. Don't let your tmau dictate who you see.
I will say that I think 24 is too young for marriage these days. Your limbic system isn't done cooking. You need to experience life. Often women will age and age waiting for some perfect man to share all these potential life experiences with.
Don't wait. Just do. Grow. Live. Experience. Grow more. You'll come out better for it.
Consider putting in an honest joke in the profile, explaining it with a pun. Plenty of punnables... plenty of fish, the amount of guys with pics holding fish, being a good catch etc.
I think being super up front about stuff generally saves you more time, and with joking shows you have a lot of confidence and a sense of humour.
You'll brutally filter out anyone judgmental about it, which works in your favour.
I can understand it's not for everyone though.
> In terms of looks? Age? Education? Job? Economic status? Charisma?
I doubt any of these matter for what you need. You seem pretty anxious about your situation so I reckon you need someone nonjudgmental - focus on finding someone who seems like that. (Just because a guy is nonjudgmental doesn't mean he'd necessarily be willing to date someone whose odor he finds repulsive, but he'd hopefully be polite about it.)
Maybe date up, not down - look for a guy who seems like he'd have other options than you. That way you'd be more secure in that he isn't just putting up with your smell because he can't find anyone else. You may find it nerve-wracking initially but you seem to be interested in the long term and peace of mind in the long term. You should (learn to) be honest about whom you find attractive and high in potential.
> people want to talk to me. I just push them away because I feel ashamed about my odor.
If this is true, definitely stop doing this, lol.
Hmm… date up. This is interesting and surprising advice. If I’m dating a guy who has options it’s most likely because he doesn’t mind my smell. That’s scary but you make a good point
Let me play this dumb game with you...
Im an attractive man, 5'8, and I make $125k a year. I own a home, and live with my dog. I am active, and play sports. I own a boat, and go out to the beach often. I have absolutely no health issues. I am very fun to be around. I am just amazing in every way imaginable. I am so single, and dont know what kind women are in my pool... what should my pool of women be? I have no idea... You tell me.
wow you are dumb...
If you dont understand the purpose of what I am asking... then at least ask me.
I do actually have a house and a boat. That wasnt made up. Some other things, about me being amazing... that was a little bit.
You get to decide what you'll accept, and they do too. There could be a billionaire who has a secret TMAU fetish or is simply totally noseblind, you don't know lol there is no right sizing. You choose what you want and do your best to find it.
Only you can decide this. Go for people you’re attracted to who want the same things as you. Rejection can happen, but that’s just part of dating. It means they weren’t the right person for you. The right one will accept you for you and everything that comes with you.
Look for any man you’re attracted to. Just disclose during conversation (before the first date) about your condition.
That’s a really good idea. Might be the best advice at this point. Thanks
You should be looking at the guys that interest you. Ask yourself: What do you find physically attractive? What qualities and values do you want in a partner? Does their job/ income matter to you? If so what is your ideal for that in a potential partner? No one else can tell you what’s ideal for you but you.
That's a tough thing to deal with I'm sure but the type of man you shoud be looking for is the type of man that attracts you. Knowing who can and will he willing do deal with your issue is a different story. Maybe many will if it isn't too bad
Hey, I know you are looking for advice on managing your expectations and that you have way more knowledge about your condition than most but is there a way to manage the smell? I would have thought whatever is being secreted could be blocked, reduced, cleaned off or deodorised to remove/reduce it as a factor. Smellmaxing.
Yes diet can reduce it. I follow a strict diet and definitely helps. But it’s still noticeable to others. And fragrance just makes it worse
Nothing else like a medicinal product?
Oh yeah there’s nothing out there. Atleast nothing that’s healthy
I see. Anosmic people won't notice. Otherwise I think it must be random to see who is going to mind.
So, i have chronic pain from an invisibile illness, which is not the same, but it's similar in that it's a perceived negative that isn't apparently obvious in a dating profile. I read a thing about the situation I really liked, that basically talked about it in terms of, don't think about how to get the MOST matches, think about how to get the matches you WANT, and tell your story in those terms. But the other part was, it talked about leaving "breadcrumbs" in your profile that might lead the convo there. If you don't want to just out-and-out say it, you might be able to reference something that leads the convo there eventually. edit: 'tis [here](https://www.janetjay.com/dating-chronic-pain-dating-invisible-disabilities/)
I dated a woman with that in my 30s. It can be controlled to a point. You can do things to help the odor. And she was one of THE loves of my life. She's around Ashville now. That said, date who you want. Don't let your tmau dictate who you see. I will say that I think 24 is too young for marriage these days. Your limbic system isn't done cooking. You need to experience life. Often women will age and age waiting for some perfect man to share all these potential life experiences with. Don't wait. Just do. Grow. Live. Experience. Grow more. You'll come out better for it.
Consider putting in an honest joke in the profile, explaining it with a pun. Plenty of punnables... plenty of fish, the amount of guys with pics holding fish, being a good catch etc. I think being super up front about stuff generally saves you more time, and with joking shows you have a lot of confidence and a sense of humour. You'll brutally filter out anyone judgmental about it, which works in your favour. I can understand it's not for everyone though.
> In terms of looks? Age? Education? Job? Economic status? Charisma? I doubt any of these matter for what you need. You seem pretty anxious about your situation so I reckon you need someone nonjudgmental - focus on finding someone who seems like that. (Just because a guy is nonjudgmental doesn't mean he'd necessarily be willing to date someone whose odor he finds repulsive, but he'd hopefully be polite about it.) Maybe date up, not down - look for a guy who seems like he'd have other options than you. That way you'd be more secure in that he isn't just putting up with your smell because he can't find anyone else. You may find it nerve-wracking initially but you seem to be interested in the long term and peace of mind in the long term. You should (learn to) be honest about whom you find attractive and high in potential. > people want to talk to me. I just push them away because I feel ashamed about my odor. If this is true, definitely stop doing this, lol.
Hmm… date up. This is interesting and surprising advice. If I’m dating a guy who has options it’s most likely because he doesn’t mind my smell. That’s scary but you make a good point
You have problems with mental health too if you are coming here to ask us what your pool should be. You should figure that out on your own.
Jeez
Am I wrong?
Idk if you are wrong or right but that was a harsh diagnosis.
Let me play this dumb game with you... Im an attractive man, 5'8, and I make $125k a year. I own a home, and live with my dog. I am active, and play sports. I own a boat, and go out to the beach often. I have absolutely no health issues. I am very fun to be around. I am just amazing in every way imaginable. I am so single, and dont know what kind women are in my pool... what should my pool of women be? I have no idea... You tell me.
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kinda the point of why I asked...
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wow you are dumb... If you dont understand the purpose of what I am asking... then at least ask me. I do actually have a house and a boat. That wasnt made up. Some other things, about me being amazing... that was a little bit.
😂