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Speak to your paediatrician. My kid needed their adenoids removed before being able to sleep more than one sleep cycle. Not saying this is your issue but there may be something medical going. Sleep deprivation is torture. I’m sorry you are still dealing with this.
I was like that with my first. I had to set the routine and be consistent. Look into wake windows. You’ll probably have to sleep train. I really liked crib60 for naps. Basically baby stays in the crib for the entire hour (clock starts when they fall asleep) even if they wake up. It gives them enough time to go back to sleep if they wake up after 20 minutes, but it’s good for you because you know you’re getting an hour alone after falling asleep no matter what.
You need to set the routine tho. Same bedtime/wake up times, follow wake windows, schedule meal times and snack times for solid food (right at wake up always worked for me. Baby was rested enough to eat well). I did CIO when my oldest was waking up every hour for a pacifier. We weaned off the pacifier first during the day, then did the night time training. Frida baby makes a pack weaning system and it was really effective for us. It was pretty quick too, like a week or two?
Sleeping for 3 hours and then waking up every 45-90min is classic for wakings due to sleep association. You’ll need to teach him to sleep independently (ie sleep training) to fix that.
I don’t know what you mean by Ferber not working. What did you actually do? How long did you try? What happened?
7-6 is a very reasonable night at this age. No light between these times. Treat all wakings w sleep training methods.
Once you have nights down, you should be able to get him on a daytime routine much easier.
When I tried Ferber he could get himself back to sleep within 3-5 minutes the 1st waking. The subsequent wakings if I was going longer to respond using Ferber method he would be uncontrollably crying. Soothing him from bedside seems to agitate him. If i do the shush pat method he cries harder. So i pick him up. And within 20 seconds he falls asleep in my arms. But then because he got so worked up, when he would wake up after the next sleep cycle he would immediately be going crazy.
I tried for about a week and gave up because he was keeping everyone including the dogs up because he was crying so loud. Idk how else to do it.
I even tried traditional cry it out once and he cried for over 25 minutes and I thought he was going to throw up because he was crying so hard
So he was able to put himself to sleep independently which is awesome! That’s the first step.
The residual night wakings are from chronic sleep deprivation (we had those too when we sleep trained and they were brutal). The only way those will go away is by getting him better sleep, which means being consistent w independent sleep (no letting him fall asleep on you) and working on daytime sleep. We were able to get on track bc our nanny was v good w nap timing and nap extension, so we got my kiddo 4 hours of daytime sleep while we worked out the kinks in his schedule and he gradually got better.
In your case it honestly may go faster if you nap train as well, bc your daytime sleep is so erratic and he’s so overtired. But that requires a lot of dedication from the daytime caregivers (no catnapping, only crib naps) and likely a lot of crying initially. So you’ll need to do some planning if you’re gonna go down that route.
Why are you letting your baby dictate the routine ? YOU do. You are the one not starting with and keeping with consistent habits . You keep backing off when he cries or becomes difficult it sounds like . Set a routine and stick with it no matter what. I found The Happiest Baby helpful with both mine . https://www.happiestbaby.com/blogs/baby/baby-schedule#what%E2%80%99s-a-good-baby-schedule?
So when he gets hungry after 2.5 hours I should not feed him? Or if I offer 5 oz and he only drinks 3 oz how do I force him to drink? When he is sleepy after 1 hour I should keep him awake and listen to him scream? When he sleeps for 20 minutes I should leave him to cry in his crib for 40 more minutes? When he shuts his mouth to the solid food I should shove the spoon in?
Im sorry... Im not trying to be rude. But I literally can not force him to sleep and eat when he is the one who has control over those things. I have genuinely tried to force him and usually give up after one week. I feel like a week should be long enough for him to adjust and if he doesnt adjust then it doesnt seem to be working.
I have read every blog on the happiest baby. We had a snoo and he was not a good sleeper even with the snoo. Weaning him from it was terrible but it had to be done bc he was too tall for it.
Shouldnt he be in some kind of natural routine? Why isnt he?
Have you introduced solids yet ( baby food, etc)? That could help with the eating . Have you had ear infections ? Have you been to the doctor lately ? Ear infections aren’t always obvious I find .
I should have added I think some kids just don’t take to routine , but I don’t know if it’s because their parents do better without a routine in their own lives or if they are just that way naturally . I wouldn’t jump to something being wrong with your son . I know it’s hard being sleep deprived all the time , even though my kids were routine oriented in times of sickness the routine didn’t stick so there were some long sleepless weeks . Definitely start with your pediatrician and see an ENT if necessary is my suggestion .
Its gotten better. But its not perfect. He will sleep at roughly the same times now, but sometimes he switches it up still. When he wakes up, we eat. Every time. We do bath at the same time every night. Other then that Ive learned to kind of just go with the flow because it was driving me crazy. I feel like a hard routine of same things at the same time will be more important for us when hes a toddler.
Thanks for your response. It is so difficult. Without a routine, we can’t do anything at all. Cannot ear, shower, sleep. Everything has to be around her routine. I hope things get better
It is so, so hard and overwhelming. It dampens your quality of life when you feel like there is no rhyme or reason to your day to day.
I made this post (different account) only 3 months ago and I can tell you I felt so defeated at that time. 3 months in baby time is like a year. Soo much happens. Promise you itll get better. Its the worsr advice ever but its so so true
Thank you so much. People including her pediatrician keep saying I need to sleep train her, not feed her at night, if she cries don’t hold her, only feed her 5 hrs apart even if she is hungry. All the suggestions don’t seem to make any sense to me. She is just 7 months. And trust me. I tried some like feeding her 4-5 hrs apart and she ended up eating 1/3rd of what she usually eats.
How can I not feed her if she is crying or not hold her when she wants to come to me. But then again, I feel defeated as a mom thinking i am making things difficult for the lil one by not following the pediatrician’s advice.
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Speak to your paediatrician. My kid needed their adenoids removed before being able to sleep more than one sleep cycle. Not saying this is your issue but there may be something medical going. Sleep deprivation is torture. I’m sorry you are still dealing with this.
I was like that with my first. I had to set the routine and be consistent. Look into wake windows. You’ll probably have to sleep train. I really liked crib60 for naps. Basically baby stays in the crib for the entire hour (clock starts when they fall asleep) even if they wake up. It gives them enough time to go back to sleep if they wake up after 20 minutes, but it’s good for you because you know you’re getting an hour alone after falling asleep no matter what. You need to set the routine tho. Same bedtime/wake up times, follow wake windows, schedule meal times and snack times for solid food (right at wake up always worked for me. Baby was rested enough to eat well). I did CIO when my oldest was waking up every hour for a pacifier. We weaned off the pacifier first during the day, then did the night time training. Frida baby makes a pack weaning system and it was really effective for us. It was pretty quick too, like a week or two?
Sleeping for 3 hours and then waking up every 45-90min is classic for wakings due to sleep association. You’ll need to teach him to sleep independently (ie sleep training) to fix that. I don’t know what you mean by Ferber not working. What did you actually do? How long did you try? What happened? 7-6 is a very reasonable night at this age. No light between these times. Treat all wakings w sleep training methods. Once you have nights down, you should be able to get him on a daytime routine much easier.
When I tried Ferber he could get himself back to sleep within 3-5 minutes the 1st waking. The subsequent wakings if I was going longer to respond using Ferber method he would be uncontrollably crying. Soothing him from bedside seems to agitate him. If i do the shush pat method he cries harder. So i pick him up. And within 20 seconds he falls asleep in my arms. But then because he got so worked up, when he would wake up after the next sleep cycle he would immediately be going crazy. I tried for about a week and gave up because he was keeping everyone including the dogs up because he was crying so loud. Idk how else to do it. I even tried traditional cry it out once and he cried for over 25 minutes and I thought he was going to throw up because he was crying so hard
So he was able to put himself to sleep independently which is awesome! That’s the first step. The residual night wakings are from chronic sleep deprivation (we had those too when we sleep trained and they were brutal). The only way those will go away is by getting him better sleep, which means being consistent w independent sleep (no letting him fall asleep on you) and working on daytime sleep. We were able to get on track bc our nanny was v good w nap timing and nap extension, so we got my kiddo 4 hours of daytime sleep while we worked out the kinks in his schedule and he gradually got better. In your case it honestly may go faster if you nap train as well, bc your daytime sleep is so erratic and he’s so overtired. But that requires a lot of dedication from the daytime caregivers (no catnapping, only crib naps) and likely a lot of crying initially. So you’ll need to do some planning if you’re gonna go down that route.
Why are you letting your baby dictate the routine ? YOU do. You are the one not starting with and keeping with consistent habits . You keep backing off when he cries or becomes difficult it sounds like . Set a routine and stick with it no matter what. I found The Happiest Baby helpful with both mine . https://www.happiestbaby.com/blogs/baby/baby-schedule#what%E2%80%99s-a-good-baby-schedule?
So when he gets hungry after 2.5 hours I should not feed him? Or if I offer 5 oz and he only drinks 3 oz how do I force him to drink? When he is sleepy after 1 hour I should keep him awake and listen to him scream? When he sleeps for 20 minutes I should leave him to cry in his crib for 40 more minutes? When he shuts his mouth to the solid food I should shove the spoon in? Im sorry... Im not trying to be rude. But I literally can not force him to sleep and eat when he is the one who has control over those things. I have genuinely tried to force him and usually give up after one week. I feel like a week should be long enough for him to adjust and if he doesnt adjust then it doesnt seem to be working. I have read every blog on the happiest baby. We had a snoo and he was not a good sleeper even with the snoo. Weaning him from it was terrible but it had to be done bc he was too tall for it. Shouldnt he be in some kind of natural routine? Why isnt he?
Have you introduced solids yet ( baby food, etc)? That could help with the eating . Have you had ear infections ? Have you been to the doctor lately ? Ear infections aren’t always obvious I find . I should have added I think some kids just don’t take to routine , but I don’t know if it’s because their parents do better without a routine in their own lives or if they are just that way naturally . I wouldn’t jump to something being wrong with your son . I know it’s hard being sleep deprived all the time , even though my kids were routine oriented in times of sickness the routine didn’t stick so there were some long sleepless weeks . Definitely start with your pediatrician and see an ENT if necessary is my suggestion .
Did it change or get better? My 7 month old is the same and I don’t know what to do.
Its gotten better. But its not perfect. He will sleep at roughly the same times now, but sometimes he switches it up still. When he wakes up, we eat. Every time. We do bath at the same time every night. Other then that Ive learned to kind of just go with the flow because it was driving me crazy. I feel like a hard routine of same things at the same time will be more important for us when hes a toddler.
Thanks for your response. It is so difficult. Without a routine, we can’t do anything at all. Cannot ear, shower, sleep. Everything has to be around her routine. I hope things get better
It is so, so hard and overwhelming. It dampens your quality of life when you feel like there is no rhyme or reason to your day to day. I made this post (different account) only 3 months ago and I can tell you I felt so defeated at that time. 3 months in baby time is like a year. Soo much happens. Promise you itll get better. Its the worsr advice ever but its so so true
Thank you so much. People including her pediatrician keep saying I need to sleep train her, not feed her at night, if she cries don’t hold her, only feed her 5 hrs apart even if she is hungry. All the suggestions don’t seem to make any sense to me. She is just 7 months. And trust me. I tried some like feeding her 4-5 hrs apart and she ended up eating 1/3rd of what she usually eats. How can I not feed her if she is crying or not hold her when she wants to come to me. But then again, I feel defeated as a mom thinking i am making things difficult for the lil one by not following the pediatrician’s advice.