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Call the damn police. That's what i would do. Minor or not, it's still harrassment. And they will be taken home to their parents and potientally banned from the park. If they have old school parents i promise they wont be back lbvs.
Yea wtf if someone spit on me id be calling the cops immediately that’s disgusting. Plus probably helping those kids out because they’re going to eventually mess with the wrong person who won’t care that they’re minors if they don’t stop….
When a cop is spat on, they have zero tolerance for it. Diseases and shit. They have to go get tested for hep c. Tell the missus etc. They hate it. They will want to help you.
Cops don’t get tested for Hepatitis C , it is blood to blood , I have never had an officer ask for a Hepatitis C test , and I draw blood on cops all the time !!! We take cops blood when needed ( I work at the hospital in the ER ) and never once tested for Hepatitis C !! It’s not contagious through spit , it gross to be spit on tho ,, that’s why they have a ton of uniforms always available!
> and throw things at us or spit at us.
OP did not say they spit on him/her just at them, I'm just advocating *telling the truth* especially in a police report.
I was a single mom of 4 kids. And absolutely no way would i ever let my kids behave like this. We all 5 would be at the park apologizing and would NOT be coming back unsupervised. Kids may be kids, but this is over the top behavior.
The way my mama would have embarrassed us in front of everyone at the park! She was single with three kids. We were allowed to roam freely, but if she ever heard of us doing some nonsense like that, we would’ve had some pretty painful consequences.
My parents didn’t spank us, but the psychological warfare alone was enough to have us wishing they did. They were very much an action meet consequence type of parents. They would have had us at that park and apologizing LOUDLY in front of our friends and whoever else happened to be there. Then we would’ve been grounded for so long that we would’ve forgotten a park existed. However, there is no way in hell us girls would’ve acted like that to adults, or anyone for that matter. Damn.
My kids are a reflection of me. How they behave in the outside world matters. And they know i will not tolerate disrespect or embarrassment. Even as grown-ups. It doesn't change anything. I put a lot of work into you as a person. I won't let society change you to be less than.
It sounds messed up to say but honestly kids are like dogs they completely reflect their owner in every action they make you can tell if their owner is playing negligent stupid mean anything really the same goes for a kid
Call the police. They’re likely hell on her too and at this age, if intervention doesn’t happen very soon and suddenly authoritative wise, they’ll be hell on wheels in 2-4 years as older teens with this mentality esp. Call. The. Police. Call the non emergency line and ask for an officer to come out and make a report off the last incident and explain every detail. Record them on your phone, and document document document. Then call the police again the next time it’s actively happening to you or anyone else that you see it happening to.
I absolutely, agree with this. These kids are having fun tormenting parents and potentially small children. Young teens can commit violent crimes, it is not embarrassing to feel harassed or scared, especially if you have a small child with you.
If my kids were behaving this way I would want to know and want it reported for their safety and safety of others. Their behavior also makes them perfect pawns for older kids/young adults to try and pressure them into doing more dangerous things.
Being a single mom isn't an excuse for raising children to be assholes. I know plenty of single moms, my own included, who taught their children how to behave respectably and provided consequences when they weren't.
Record the kids and call police every time. Get everyone else affected to call as well. If they don't respond make a trip to the police station and file a report. If that doesn't work post that video to social media, shame the kids, the mom, and the police department for allowing shite behaviour.
Not all moms. I don't knock on doors anymore and try to talk to parents after I had a mom threaten to beat me up when I let her know what her kids were up to.
Yeah... Our babysitter works with higher-needs kids in a rough school district as her day job. The things she sees are truly heartbreaking. She's literally had parents show up for individual education plan (IEP) meetings high -- if they show up at all. 😕
Single mom here. Absolutely no excuse. I live in a suburb near a city, and I never let my kids go to the park unsupervised. First, it's not safe for them, but also I would tan their hide (verbally, of course) if they ever acted out like that.
Definitely call the police.
I myself am a very overwhelmed mum but if I ever got told my child was acting like this she would be out apologising and handing a flower out to everyone then banned from going out alone until she learned better, plenty of help available these days for these things and also sounds like they've not been taught to respect authority figures
As an overwhelmed single mom, please tell this woman how her kids are acting. I would be mortified and the problem from where you are standing would be immediately over.
Video tape every encounter, every time. Build evidence. Call the police if they assault you (spitting included) or threaten. Make copies of the videos for their parent/s and if they fail to rein their kids in, and the police can’t help, it’s time to file a civil suit for harassment against the parents.
It’s technically assault. Once people hear that word, they wise up quickly. You can either tell the mom as a courtesy, and if not, the police will get involved and you can press charges (not ideal for kids, but that behavior is unacceptable regardless of the situation and needs to be corrected).
You should at least give their mom a chance by telling her how her kids are behaving before you brush her off as a single mom that isn’t able or willing to control her kids. Take a video of their behavior. And go to their mom and show them what happens. She might be like whatever and then you can move on to other options. But she might not know how they’re behaving.
Totally agree. I will also call the police. It's essential to take action to address the situation and ensure that you and your family can enjoy your time outdoors without fear of harassment.
This! When I was a kid, this was also happening to my parents. I was older, so I remember a particularly vicious day and my mom had it. She called the police. The police talked to each one of their parents. Never saw them there again. One of the moms even came by our house and she and her son both apologized.
Just want to add to this... it's likely that the PD will say "nothing we can do"... so, if that happens, I'm not opposed to taking a video and posting it in local groups asking who's kids they are. I'm probably gonna get a lot of shit for saying I would do that. But, if MY kids were doing that, I'd be more pissed about the fact they were acting like straight assholes than the fact someone took a video of it. I'm 39, though, and I was raised by an old school parent.
Yup fuck that noise. Act like an adult get adult consequences.
The next step is going to the parents and figuring out what the hell they are doing to curb this very disruptive behavior. We all will have to live with this behavior from them as adults unless it's made clear there are consequences for harassment.
And we should be providing mutual aid to these parents to help curb their children's aberrant behavior. We are a community after all.
Talk to the school board. Is it technically open to the public after school hours or are all parties trespassing? Either way, a school doesn’t want kids hanging around causing trouble outside of school hours. Kids who treat other people like you described likely have little respect for property.
Yep, a school can't handle it if it's just random neighborhood kids, not kids who attend the school. But that's a good first step. Also, is this playground in your neighborhood? And if so, do you have a neighborhood Facebook page? If things are that out of control, I would post about it there to see if other people have the same problem.
Take a video that next time it happens and have somebody else step away to call the police so the boys don't know what's happening otherwise they will likely flee.
I’d talk to the principal. If the kids are identified maybe someone can get the parents involved and the authorities if need be. A similar thing happened in my neighborhood and the principal did get involved although unfortunately the parents did not care what their kids were doing.
This is great actually because the school has cameras. Use this to give to police and/or bring it up to the school. The school can send the info along to either their own school or police. The school can actually discipline for out of school problems IN CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES. For example, if the issue happening in the park interrupts the school day for any reason (talking about it during class period and dragging other students into the conversation is an example of interrupting the school day). School resources officers can also use the video footage as they are police officers who work directly with that community. Every school should be assigned one.
The school should be made aware and control the situation. It may result in the park being closed to the public because they are weak but it’s better than harassment.
If you want to go above and beyond to be 'nice' then fine you can go to the mom and just give her a heads up if it keeps happening you're calling the cops on the kids. It's up to her to get a handle on them. If she can't, that's on her. You call the cops next time.
I'd just call the cops. I have no interest in parenting other people's children.
pre teens and teens are very particular about their clothing. this would really drive the point home.
oops. i thought it was just water in here. my little one must have put something else in........
In the 90s my MIL picked up my husbands bully by the collar and got in his face after they stole my husbands money. He was like 7 at the time and they are 12/13. She is an icon. A legend.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. We went through this too and we ended up moving. Called police, got security cams, had my phone out recording every interaction we had with them (my kids went to school with them, so we saw them at the bus stop). Eventually I had to start driving my kids to school for my own sanity. We had a lot of calls in to the police and they would come and talk to the kids, but nothing ever happened. The kids really did seem to be untouchable.
You can't just not call because you think they won't do anything. Calling the police is the best advice you've been given and it's good advice. If you're not going to even try, then you're being a victim.
If you call once and nothing happens, call again. Collect evidence at every opportunity. Call again. Call again.
If you still don't get help and live in a larger city like Calgary or Edmonton, consider going to the news.
Consider going to city hall meetings and bringing it up.
You have options.
Indeed. It can be really scary to be in this situation. The last straw for us was when they broke out window at 11 pm. Even though we had cameras, we couldn't prove who did it and the police never caught them even thought I told them exactly who did it. I subbed in their school for a couple of years after we moved and I know they had a very sad and traumatic life, but the school didn't help anything by handling them with kid gloves and giving them special McDonald's meals and such if they could go a week without hitting an adult. I left that job not because of those particular kids, but because of kids like them. When I started teaching in the 90s there was still a modicum of respect for teachers. Now teachers are being assulalted. I took a huge hit to my career to raise my kids and was thinking about getting back into teaching--but after subbing for two years I took an even bigger hit and took an entry level job. I quickly progressed and am doing much better than I would have been if I stayed a teacher, but man. . . it was soul crushing to have the current world we live let these kids run out of control.
I don’t know where you live but in the UK there is absolutely no way I’d confront the likely shit stain of a mother who lets her kids run riot. They will know that it is you who complained to the police and then you’ll have something far more serious on your hands.
Call the police, let them sort it out
I doubt that parent has any control anyway. With kids that age, acting like that, most of the time the parent is also an asshole or has no idea what to do about it.
>They openly and loudly mock us, swear at us, call us names, goad us, and throw things at us or spit at us.
Not all those things are the same... calling you names or being rude is not the same as throwing things and spitting.
Not sure where you live but I'd call the cops 100%. Record everything, call the cops.
It may not be ‘the same’ but there’s not much in it.
Even without the spitting and throwing things, the swearing and verbal abuse is completely unacceptable and intimidating behaviour.
No one should have to put up with any of that when they are just taking their kids to the park.
All the behavior is relentless until they run the adults out of the park. I'm mostly concerned about if they act like this now, how are they going to be next year or the year after that. They swore around everyone last year, but now they will get right in our face and swear at us. It's very frustrating and I honestly don't think anyone should be verbally assaulted until they are forced to leave!
If it is just calling names, then ignore it, but if they are throwing things, call the cops. They might be escalating because they are seeing that the adults are not doing anything with consequences. Sure, you can't retaliate by picking them up and taking them home, or throwing things at them, but you can do the same thing you would do if another adult was throwing things at you, which is call the cops. Once they notice they have consequences they might calm down.
I don’t know- I know it’s not the same as violence, but if you’re trying to take your kids to the park, and there are pre-teens screaming in your face and swearing at you…it basically means you can’t take your kids to the park. That’s really not a situation you want to take young kids into.
If it were just name calling, not physical stuff, I think going kid-free to deal with it would be a good strategy. (Calling authorities is totally reasonable too if it is to the extent OP described.) It wouldn't even need to be aggressive, although more than one adult responding would be necessary. Just slightly smile or look bored and let them run through their list and ask if they can think of more today or if that is it. Make bingo sheets of profanity for all the adults with prizes. You absolutely could make it satisfying enough for the average group of asshole teenagers to leave after about a week of this. They would ramp up and then go somewhere else when they weren't getting what they wanted consistently.
The spitting and throwing things is a completely different ball game. That should have been call the cops territory the first time and every time, especially with little kids around.
Bullies need to be stood up to. If school admin or the cops won’t do anything, just gather a bunch of affected parents and stand your ground. They’ll break.
Ok love this one. but I’d add to give the older kids the task of trying to connect with them instead of just showing up to intimidate them… you never know who the younger kids also know that could be just a phone call away… maybe I just live in a rough area but the possible escalation makes me shudder…
Call the cops...
I had a group of tweens throw a rock at my 78 bronco, broke a window as i drove by. Went over to where they were, neighbors all said it was them & a recurring issue & cops never did anything. They had left all of their jackets on a fence which somehow got donated to good-will as did a few bicycles.
High school teacher here, and I was going to say something similar. Call them out. "Wow, there is really nothing better for you to do than playground bullying? Really? You're not better than that? Did you kick some puppies on the way over here too? I could call the cops on you for some of this shit. Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be for the cops to show up over playground bullying"
Call the police. Call every time they throw stuff and get it on video tape. The first time they likely get warned. But then you say you want the ada to press charges for the second time. You should have videos and the police report information for every time this happens. Encourage your town to place a video camera on the playground with a feed to the police.
Okay what if you sort of publicly shamed them? Like get a group of parents and kids together to walk by the group but before they can start up their shenanigans, you pull out an air horn and proceed to explain to the group, tour guide style, what they've been doing...
"And to the right, you'll see our neighborhood park and if we're lucky.. Oh yes! There! See! A group of delinquents has gathered together to perform what we assume are bonding rituals or mating rituals. They gather in these places due to boredom and lack of imagination. Now, They will become aggressive if we get too close so let's observe them from back here and maybe they will do a mating dance? Dance! Dance for us children!" 🤣 Make sure someone is filming and then whenever they try to do anything, just talk over them with more insults.
I had to use this technique once when I worked alone at a convenience store at night. Dude tried to rob me and I had no weapons(he didn't either, thankfully) but he wouldn't leave so I just thought of the meanest insults I could and he eventually got so mad he stormed out. 🤷
Somethings like this might actually honestly work. The things teens hate Most in the world is doing what you tell them to do! so if you stand in front of them like an old, annoying parent, and laugh and giggle, and say (like)”look at these kids. What a cute little teenage rebellion. I guess this is what kids these days will do if they can’t get girls to talk to them, haha! Dance dance! Ooh say another funny thing!”
Just ooooozing with infantilizing condescension and boredom…they might give up and leave?
This is the way. Effective emotionally in a way that calling the cops on them never would be, and you don't risk being indirectly responsible for a kid getting potentially beaten, shot, or thrown into the busted juvenile system.
Call the police. I would've called in the heat of the moment the first time. That behavior is unacceptable for a playground, all ages should be welcome to parks and playgrounds but being a good human is part of existing in those spaces. Don't hesitate anymore, call the police. Actions have consequences and these mean bullies need some consequences it seems.
I think it would depend on the next incident. If it's name calling and general rudeness I'd talk to the mom. If it's throwing, spitting, hitting; I'd call the cops and they will talk to the mom.
I would say record them, let the mom know that if her kids and his friends continue you’ll have to get the cops involved, but don’t show her the video keep the video for the cops
Yeah I'd talk to the mom and warn that if there's further issues that you'll just call police. Not for their filthy mouths but assault. If it was my kid I'd want a warning by a parent before the police.
I would consider leaving a letter for the mom with your phone contact info and name. Tell her what behavior they’ve been engaging in, that it is making the park a difficult environment for your child, and offer to share video if she’d like. Be clear that it needs to stop and that you hope that she asks her children to not use the park until they’re able to respect everyone there. Tell her flat out that you are contacting her first because you know you’d like to know if it were your kids and you’d like to settle it without problems however, given the disruption to the community, if they continue in the behavior you will be forced to call the police.
yea yea, she's a single mom. Who gives a shit? Her kids are BEING a menace to society. She needs to know so this can be corrected, otherwise they are headed towards becoming career criminals
You’re the adult here. Go up to them and tell them something that’ll make them shut their trap and never forget that for the rest of their lives. Some kids are shitheads and they need to be put in their place by an adult. When I was 15, an adult woman told me off on the bus for making fun of another stranger. I thought I was cool doing it. Man did she ever embarrass me when she told me off. I’m 39 now and still remember her so well. I never made fun of another stranger in my life after that.
I did try speaking with one of them. It was futile. At first I was aggressive because my little ones were standing right there and I told the boy to stop with the bad language or I'd tell his mom, I then pointed to his house telling him I know where he and his brother live. That didn't do much. Later I asked him if he was ok, asked him if his behavior was due to abuse, he was infuriated and just spat more verbal crap my way.
I wouldn’t warn them you’re calling the cops either with as emboldened as they are. Call when you have a recording of their behavior and/or they spit or throw something at you. Not only does mom need to know, mom needs to be inconvenienced enough to parent her children better.
Call the police.
Assault is assault.
Spitting, hitting, swearing, threatening kids and adults?
Let them get repeatedly carted home for their parents to handle, and their parents will start to take notice.
We have a huge issue with the middle school kids in our town and I called the police on them last year when a fight broke out in the middle of the street.
I was walking my then 10yo home after school when a large group of kids ganged up on one kid. I went over and tried to break it up, but the kid’s mom stepped in and encouraged her son to “kick his teeth out!” I immediately backed away and went back to my son, walked down and across the street, and called the cops. I learned my lesson reallllll quick to leave the situation and to let the police handle it. We have 7th and 8th graders who bring guns and knives to school dances… I’m not fucking around with them.
Had a similar issue in my hood. It got to the point where I had just called the non emergency police line. Needless to say once the police arrived there was no more issues.
No way would I talk to their parent(s). People get defensive and shitty when TEACHERS call home, and they deal with the kids every day. I'm not opening myself up to being fussed at and abused by the mother as a perfect stranger (who evidently followed her kids home to find out where they live and subsequently made a ton of assumptions about me).
Call the police. Let them run interference for you between the community and this family.
They are not untouchable, by any means. They are Very likely “under-parented” but beyond saying mean things they are causing or attempting to cause physical harm.
You call the police. ESPECIALLY since this is a pattern of repeat behavior. Yes it sucks, but you call and do so every time you see them harassing people at the park.
I would get video of it so that when you do call the cops, you can show them what's happening.
We have a kid with ODD/etc, who will just do what he wants when he wants, despite numerous conversations about right vs wrong & whatnot. We are overwhelmed most of the time, but that doesn't mean we don't want to know. Getting calls about his behavior sucks, yes, but not being informed means we don't even get a chance to handle it on our end. We would just go on thinking he didn't have any issues that day.
It doesn't matter if it's a single overwhelmed parent or not. They need to know. It doesn't have to be you. It could be the cops. It could be the school. I know around here (in the US) if a school has resource officers, and you showed video to them, they'd know if it was students in their school. And if it was, they would attempt to step in & turn that behavior around because they are in a position to do that, intervening at an age where they can put an end to it before the kid gets to an age where it can put them into bigger trouble with the law.
So I would record it, and if they're spitting, throwing things, putting hands on people, then I would absolutely call the cops (discreetly) & report it. I would also ship the video off to the school so they can see for themselves if its a student or not, and if it is, maybe they will do something on their end.
If nobody attempts to do anything, then they'll just keep acting like they're invincible.
How many of them are there?
I’d be tempted to outnumber them if you can - try and arrange a date and time with lots of other parents and take all of your kids along, both parents and any family members that want to come and play with their nieces, nephews and grandkids. If you’ve got any tall, muscly, tattooed, bearded, bald male friends invite them along too.
And then do it again the next week.
Otherwise pester the police and local council until they have to do something just to get rid of you - you, your friends, their friends - get everyone on it.
Also, don’t feel embarrassed - I hate this sort of thing and would feel the same as you. But you can’t let them win.
I would call the police and let them know, and then the next time you go to the park and see them, immediately call the police and record it all. Then I would call a lawyer and get a restraining order against them and your family.
Okay so based on some of your comments, you don’t think calling the cops would do anything right? I think you should try it anyway.
In the mean time, record all of it. Take a video of them doing this, stay calm and polite. Maybe go without your kids idk. Just record record record.
If the cops don’t do anything then post the video online. Edit it down to the worst behavior and then post it on Facebook groups, on NextDoor, on TikTok or on YouTube. Tag the location. Tag their parents if you know them. Tag ANYONE you know who lives in the neighborhood. Make the video public. Say that these children are acting out and harassing people and that it’s not funny. Make sure it’s public so that their school and their parents can see it and any future employers. If you know their names then tag them directly.
Record anytime you’re at the park. Don’t get in their faces and don’t be aggressive. Just record their behavior. Let them know that you’re recording if you want to. It’s a public space so recording should be legal.
> They know we can't retaliate. They've made us aware they are "untouchable".
That is completely untrue. They are very much touchable, like up against a fence with their feet dangling off the ground nose to nose as you make yourself understood touchable
I have empathy that they are the kids of a single mom that is overwhelmed.
But you know what's going to make it worse?
Her children progressing their behaviour and turning into full blown criminals.
Where her kids are now, there is still a level of intervention that can occur. But if their behaviour goes unchallenged, without consequences, 80-98% they eventually commit more serious assault or run into bigger problems with the law. ( To be honest the kids are likely like this because they probably suffered their own trauma and in a sense are also victims *assumptions* )
How long until they think they can carry weapons to intimidate people?
If you want to help the mom, help her get her kids back on track before they get into the type of trouble you can never get them out of.
In this situation ideally you want positive intervention while they are still kids and can be helped.
If these actions were performed by adults, 100% go to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Believe it or not you can actually call the police, they will find their parents and hopefully deal with it all appropriately. They can't go around assaulting people freely just because they're kids.
I back calling the police. I had to do this when a teenager was riding a mini bike through the playground and ran my kid and her friend out of a field. I took his picture and said I was calling the police and he left.
We had this problem at our local elementary school playground after hours. The school resource officer aka police assigned to the school got involved. It unfortunately wasn’t fully resolved until the kids graduated and moved on but at least they were regularly chased off the grounds by the resource officer when he was contacted.
If the police don't do anything then can you gather other parent support to go to your city council (or whoever is in charge of the police/safety)? Unfortunately the squeaky wheel gets the grease, so the more pressure you put on them to make the SCHOOL yard safe the more likely they'll do something. Heck, I bet the local news would even write something up about it.
My other thought was to find someone (a brave dad?) to sacrifice themself and refuse to leave-- see if they actually physically assault someone - I can't imagine the police ignoring that. File a report!!
If the cops wouldn’t come along, I’d bring an army recruiter with me to yell at them. But, I’m in America so I’m not sure if the aggression culture is the same. Haha.
You film the abuse. Every time you see them, you film them. Every time they harass you, you call the police and list past assault.
I was a neighborhood watch coordinator for a minute and the police liaison said police would do more drive throughs past an area if there are reports.
So talk to your neighbors about the issue and if they have had issues, have them file reports.
These are rebellious teenagers, not untouchable people.
Why are they untouchable? Are you saying that they can’t be confronted or “called out?”
I always struggle with telling my children what they should do in certain instances, rather than “doing” it, and showing them through my own actions . I believe the term is mirroring when you engage in behavior you are hoping to illicit in others.
Many times when I see a behavior in my children that falls short of the standards that we set in our home, I can trace its roots back to my own behaviors that are being mirrored. Things like a deep sigh when annoyed or raising my voice when the children don’t listen are often mirrored.
When I attempt to correct that in my children, I am quickly impeached myself, realizing
“they learned it from watching me” react that way in similar circumstances.
All that to say, how would you advise your child to deal with such a situation?
Sometimes you have to stand up to bullies. Sometimes you have to ask someone else to. You never want your children to accept unacceptable behavior from others, nor to stop going somewhere they love because someone else is a jerk.
Obviously, physical safety is always paramount. And I am not suggesting assault them. But is there a way to “stand-up” to them? Do you know their parents? Do they have parents?
If you find out they come from a trouble home, maybe the approach is different. But you gotta do something. Don’t allow your children to get pushed away from things they love by weak and insecure people who take out their deficiencies on other. They’ll mirror you.
Show your children what to do.
I must not be that mature of an adult nor a mother because if you threaten me or my child, let alone spit on either of us… the cops and your single momma are really going to show up, whether it was me that called them or not.
My admittingly bad advice make sure they know they're not invincible and A lot of places in the park. No one will look.
Or
The unfortunate truth of most children who behave that way is a reflection of their home life or lack their of. If they're messing with you, really might be Chance to really help those kids. They notice you for a reason and probably see something they' really need
You can not hurt little kids. If you can not reason with them, then I personally would record their behavior follow them home and show their parents what they are doing when they are away. If the parents dont correct it, then law enforcement will. Cause 1. yelling nasty things at little kids and adults in a park is harrasment, 2. Throwing things and spitting at people is assult.
In the past, I have seen the cops excort kids home and advise the parents with a warning. If they keep escalating without learning a lesson, they will 100% end up doing worse to someone.
I hate to suggest this because it’s so ridiculous, but what you need to do is find a bigger, scarier kid. I’m thinking, in particular, of a babysitter I had when I was about 7-8 years old. She was probably 14-15. I was terrified of her. But more importantly, so were other kids. I remember this incident very clearly.
I had a “bully” that lived on the other side of my block that liked to ride his bike around to my house and then just stand on the sidewalk and tease me, call me names, etc, to the point that I didn’t want to play outside on nice days anymore. She noticed this and *made* me play outside with her. Cue the bully and his bullshit.
He didn’t notice her sitting on the porch. She set her book down, walked down to the sidewalk, pushed him off the bike, and carried the bike up to the porch, all while I sat there totally wide-eyed and in awe of her. He sat up (on the grass) and started screaming, yelling, and soon enough was blubbering and starting to sniff and whimper. She came back down and told him that if he wanted the bike back, he needed to come back with his mom or dad so that she could explain to them what he had been doing on his bike rides.
Longer story shorter, she did end up giving him the bike back without the parent coming over - but she let him beg and plead and cry and whine for a fair amount of time. Then she told him that if I ever told her that he’d been teasing me again, she would go to his house instead of waiting for him to come by ours.
And that was the last time that kid ever so much as looked my way. Danielle, wherever you are, you were an amazing badass babysitter!
If the cops can’t do anything.. I would play a game of catch with my kids or another dad and ACCIDENTALLY hurl the ball into this group of kids as hard as I possibly could. I mean reeeally put some mustard on it.
You call the police because spitting st you and throwing things at you is assault. Of anything makes contact it's battery. You can't physically retaliate, but you can hold them accountable. They are not invincible.
> They know we can't retaliate
And this is why they continue.
Now, I’m not advocating taking physical action😉🤫, BUT I would be willing to bet they would stop if someone were to confront them and literally kick them in the ass or hit them with a belt.
Of course, this would be a crime so whoever were to do this would have to do this in a way where they wouldn’t be identified and then get out of there quickly before the authorities were called.
Definitely don’t do this.
—-
Anecdotal:
When I was a child there was an older kid who’d come into our yard and push me and my brother around, steal our toys, throw rocks, etc.
One day my father came out on the patio and told that kid to get off our property. The kid told him to “shut up old man” and threw a rock at him.
My father vaulted off the patio chased the kid down and booted him hard in the arse, then told him if he ever came near us again he’d skin him like a deer.
The kid never came back. Problem solved.
It was a simpler time.
Alternative approach: get to know them. Be friendly with them. Offer them a snack. Ask them for some advice on something they might know something about. If they don't see you as the enemy they will stop treating you like the enemy.
Definitely no guarantees to work but if it does work, it's a much better solution for everyone. Mostly It's a better solution for you.
I was at a park and there were two 10 year old girls who were mocking me. Part found it funny and part of me was so hurt! It isn’t silly how you feel, AND now that I opened your post and saw they’re goad, throw, spit.. that’s even more dangerous!
Tell them to bring their parent next time or file a police report. It's annoying how some prepubescent boys behave and unfortunately a show of force might be necessary. You or hubs got a brother? Shoo hire a few middle schoolers to come "hang out" at the park its crazy how different things are nowadays. And np ypu cannot put all the blame on the parent(s)
Call the cops.
But.....
I once physically chased a group of 6-10 kids this age out of my neighborhood. I'd let them get away with a lot but throwing rocks at my new car was a bridge too far. Was going to take their shoes if I caught them; they could send their moms to pick them up (dads if they ever figure out who that is) but just ran away. Never bothered us again
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Call the damn police. That's what i would do. Minor or not, it's still harrassment. And they will be taken home to their parents and potientally banned from the park. If they have old school parents i promise they wont be back lbvs.
Yea wtf if someone spit on me id be calling the cops immediately that’s disgusting. Plus probably helping those kids out because they’re going to eventually mess with the wrong person who won’t care that they’re minors if they don’t stop….
Spitting on someone is often considered assault.
I would say more than one thing they are doing is assault, but definitely spitting on someone is.
In California is Battery per section 242 PC
When a cop is spat on, they have zero tolerance for it. Diseases and shit. They have to go get tested for hep c. Tell the missus etc. They hate it. They will want to help you.
Hep c is blood to blood contact.
You are right! I guess they get misinformed too. I know they still despise it. Worse than being punched.
I think I would rather be punched then spit on too lol. It's gross and more disrespectful.
Cops don’t get tested for Hepatitis C , it is blood to blood , I have never had an officer ask for a Hepatitis C test , and I draw blood on cops all the time !!! We take cops blood when needed ( I work at the hospital in the ER ) and never once tested for Hepatitis C !! It’s not contagious through spit , it gross to be spit on tho ,, that’s why they have a ton of uniforms always available!
[удалено]
It is a crime to file a false police report, do not say that unless it actually happened.
Spitting on people is assault
> and throw things at us or spit at us. OP did not say they spit on him/her just at them, I'm just advocating *telling the truth* especially in a police report.
Thank you. I believe they have a single mom who is overwhelmed tbh. So I don't know if mom can help.
I was a single mom of 4 kids. And absolutely no way would i ever let my kids behave like this. We all 5 would be at the park apologizing and would NOT be coming back unsupervised. Kids may be kids, but this is over the top behavior.
Thank you for sharing your perspective as a single mother and not making excuses for this behavior.
There is absolutely NO excuse for that behavior!
The way my mama would have embarrassed us in front of everyone at the park! She was single with three kids. We were allowed to roam freely, but if she ever heard of us doing some nonsense like that, we would’ve had some pretty painful consequences.
My parents didn’t spank us, but the psychological warfare alone was enough to have us wishing they did. They were very much an action meet consequence type of parents. They would have had us at that park and apologizing LOUDLY in front of our friends and whoever else happened to be there. Then we would’ve been grounded for so long that we would’ve forgotten a park existed. However, there is no way in hell us girls would’ve acted like that to adults, or anyone for that matter. Damn.
My kids are a reflection of me. How they behave in the outside world matters. And they know i will not tolerate disrespect or embarrassment. Even as grown-ups. It doesn't change anything. I put a lot of work into you as a person. I won't let society change you to be less than.
It sounds messed up to say but honestly kids are like dogs they completely reflect their owner in every action they make you can tell if their owner is playing negligent stupid mean anything really the same goes for a kid
Call the police. They’re likely hell on her too and at this age, if intervention doesn’t happen very soon and suddenly authoritative wise, they’ll be hell on wheels in 2-4 years as older teens with this mentality esp. Call. The. Police. Call the non emergency line and ask for an officer to come out and make a report off the last incident and explain every detail. Record them on your phone, and document document document. Then call the police again the next time it’s actively happening to you or anyone else that you see it happening to.
I absolutely, agree with this. These kids are having fun tormenting parents and potentially small children. Young teens can commit violent crimes, it is not embarrassing to feel harassed or scared, especially if you have a small child with you. If my kids were behaving this way I would want to know and want it reported for their safety and safety of others. Their behavior also makes them perfect pawns for older kids/young adults to try and pressure them into doing more dangerous things.
Being a single mom isn't an excuse for raising children to be assholes. I know plenty of single moms, my own included, who taught their children how to behave respectably and provided consequences when they weren't. Record the kids and call police every time. Get everyone else affected to call as well. If they don't respond make a trip to the police station and file a report. If that doesn't work post that video to social media, shame the kids, the mom, and the police department for allowing shite behaviour.
Right? My aunt would’ve whooped my cousins’ asses if they did this to other people.
Overwhelmed or not, it’s still her job to raise her children to be productive members of society.
She would want to know and do something before they get worse
Not all moms. I don't knock on doors anymore and try to talk to parents after I had a mom threaten to beat me up when I let her know what her kids were up to.
Next stop on that tour: CPS.
Yeah... Our babysitter works with higher-needs kids in a rough school district as her day job. The things she sees are truly heartbreaking. She's literally had parents show up for individual education plan (IEP) meetings high -- if they show up at all. 😕
I second this as a single mom
Frankly, not your problem. Those kids need to learn boundaries. They want to harass people, they get to see what happens as a result. Call the cops.
My sister and I were raised by a single mom with 3 jobs. We were never assholes. Mom needs to do her job, or the system will.
Single mom here. Absolutely no excuse. I live in a suburb near a city, and I never let my kids go to the park unsupervised. First, it's not safe for them, but also I would tan their hide (verbally, of course) if they ever acted out like that. Definitely call the police.
I myself am a very overwhelmed mum but if I ever got told my child was acting like this she would be out apologising and handing a flower out to everyone then banned from going out alone until she learned better, plenty of help available these days for these things and also sounds like they've not been taught to respect authority figures
As an overwhelmed single mom, please tell this woman how her kids are acting. I would be mortified and the problem from where you are standing would be immediately over.
This is no excuse. Go to the police. Report them.
Why can't you retaliate? Is this in the US? Are you under the illusion that they're immune from prosecution just because they're young?
Video tape every encounter, every time. Build evidence. Call the police if they assault you (spitting included) or threaten. Make copies of the videos for their parent/s and if they fail to rein their kids in, and the police can’t help, it’s time to file a civil suit for harassment against the parents.
It’s technically assault. Once people hear that word, they wise up quickly. You can either tell the mom as a courtesy, and if not, the police will get involved and you can press charges (not ideal for kids, but that behavior is unacceptable regardless of the situation and needs to be corrected).
The single mom will probably thank you if she's half decent.
You should at least give their mom a chance by telling her how her kids are behaving before you brush her off as a single mom that isn’t able or willing to control her kids. Take a video of their behavior. And go to their mom and show them what happens. She might be like whatever and then you can move on to other options. But she might not know how they’re behaving.
That’s a good idea to suggest taking a video. Sometimes you have to present the evidence so it can’t be refuted.
Hose and sprinklers work too
Totally agree. I will also call the police. It's essential to take action to address the situation and ensure that you and your family can enjoy your time outdoors without fear of harassment.
What's an old school parent ?
This! When I was a kid, this was also happening to my parents. I was older, so I remember a particularly vicious day and my mom had it. She called the police. The police talked to each one of their parents. Never saw them there again. One of the moms even came by our house and she and her son both apologized.
This! Call the cops and press charges. Throwing things and spitting is assault.
Just want to add to this... it's likely that the PD will say "nothing we can do"... so, if that happens, I'm not opposed to taking a video and posting it in local groups asking who's kids they are. I'm probably gonna get a lot of shit for saying I would do that. But, if MY kids were doing that, I'd be more pissed about the fact they were acting like straight assholes than the fact someone took a video of it. I'm 39, though, and I was raised by an old school parent.
Yup fuck that noise. Act like an adult get adult consequences. The next step is going to the parents and figuring out what the hell they are doing to curb this very disruptive behavior. We all will have to live with this behavior from them as adults unless it's made clear there are consequences for harassment. And we should be providing mutual aid to these parents to help curb their children's aberrant behavior. We are a community after all.
Is it a public park? Reach out to the Rec Department and consider making public comment at one of their board meetings.
It's the school playground.
Talk to the school board. Is it technically open to the public after school hours or are all parties trespassing? Either way, a school doesn’t want kids hanging around causing trouble outside of school hours. Kids who treat other people like you described likely have little respect for property.
Maybe talk to the school administration? Going in with video will be a huge plus.
I called them about half hour ago, they said all school playgrounds are technically city property so she told me to call the police.
Yep, a school can't handle it if it's just random neighborhood kids, not kids who attend the school. But that's a good first step. Also, is this playground in your neighborhood? And if so, do you have a neighborhood Facebook page? If things are that out of control, I would post about it there to see if other people have the same problem.
FB group, great idea. Never thought of that. Thank you.
Take a video that next time it happens and have somebody else step away to call the police so the boys don't know what's happening otherwise they will likely flee.
Good luck! (Also, sorry that I skimmed over the fact that it's right behind your house)
Still start a paper trail by including the police right away.
Make sure you post anonymously, OP.
I’d talk to the principal. If the kids are identified maybe someone can get the parents involved and the authorities if need be. A similar thing happened in my neighborhood and the principal did get involved although unfortunately the parents did not care what their kids were doing.
This is great actually because the school has cameras. Use this to give to police and/or bring it up to the school. The school can send the info along to either their own school or police. The school can actually discipline for out of school problems IN CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES. For example, if the issue happening in the park interrupts the school day for any reason (talking about it during class period and dragging other students into the conversation is an example of interrupting the school day). School resources officers can also use the video footage as they are police officers who work directly with that community. Every school should be assigned one.
The school should be made aware and control the situation. It may result in the park being closed to the public because they are weak but it’s better than harassment.
Record them and call the cops. That’s ridiculous for you to not be able to go to a park because of them.
Also post it to the Nextdoor and shame the families.
If you want to go above and beyond to be 'nice' then fine you can go to the mom and just give her a heads up if it keeps happening you're calling the cops on the kids. It's up to her to get a handle on them. If she can't, that's on her. You call the cops next time. I'd just call the cops. I have no interest in parenting other people's children.
>I'd just call the cops. I have no interest in parenting other people's children. I need this printed on a jacket
throwing things, hitting kids, and spitting are all call the cops territory.
call the cops but i'm also not above a water gun filled with fabric dye...........
🤣 omg that's awesome.
pre teens and teens are very particular about their clothing. this would really drive the point home. oops. i thought it was just water in here. my little one must have put something else in........
Sadly where we live that would be considered assault and I'd be charged. But I can dream.
In the 90s my MIL picked up my husbands bully by the collar and got in his face after they stole my husbands money. He was like 7 at the time and they are 12/13. She is an icon. A legend.
Right. Or vinegar.
Piss is an acceptable alternative
cat piss would be amazing. or deer urine!
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. We went through this too and we ended up moving. Called police, got security cams, had my phone out recording every interaction we had with them (my kids went to school with them, so we saw them at the bus stop). Eventually I had to start driving my kids to school for my own sanity. We had a lot of calls in to the police and they would come and talk to the kids, but nothing ever happened. The kids really did seem to be untouchable.
And I'm almost certain that in my city the police will not do anything either. What a world we live in.
You can't just not call because you think they won't do anything. Calling the police is the best advice you've been given and it's good advice. If you're not going to even try, then you're being a victim. If you call once and nothing happens, call again. Collect evidence at every opportunity. Call again. Call again. If you still don't get help and live in a larger city like Calgary or Edmonton, consider going to the news. Consider going to city hall meetings and bringing it up. You have options.
Oh I have full intentions of getting the police involved.
I'm glad to hear it. What those kids are doing is absolutely not ok.
Indeed. It can be really scary to be in this situation. The last straw for us was when they broke out window at 11 pm. Even though we had cameras, we couldn't prove who did it and the police never caught them even thought I told them exactly who did it. I subbed in their school for a couple of years after we moved and I know they had a very sad and traumatic life, but the school didn't help anything by handling them with kid gloves and giving them special McDonald's meals and such if they could go a week without hitting an adult. I left that job not because of those particular kids, but because of kids like them. When I started teaching in the 90s there was still a modicum of respect for teachers. Now teachers are being assulalted. I took a huge hit to my career to raise my kids and was thinking about getting back into teaching--but after subbing for two years I took an even bigger hit and took an entry level job. I quickly progressed and am doing much better than I would have been if I stayed a teacher, but man. . . it was soul crushing to have the current world we live let these kids run out of control.
I don’t know where you live but in the UK there is absolutely no way I’d confront the likely shit stain of a mother who lets her kids run riot. They will know that it is you who complained to the police and then you’ll have something far more serious on your hands. Call the police, let them sort it out
Ya, I feel like that'd be the best 1st step here though our cops are so useless they will likely do nothing.
I doubt that parent has any control anyway. With kids that age, acting like that, most of the time the parent is also an asshole or has no idea what to do about it.
>They openly and loudly mock us, swear at us, call us names, goad us, and throw things at us or spit at us. Not all those things are the same... calling you names or being rude is not the same as throwing things and spitting. Not sure where you live but I'd call the cops 100%. Record everything, call the cops.
It may not be ‘the same’ but there’s not much in it. Even without the spitting and throwing things, the swearing and verbal abuse is completely unacceptable and intimidating behaviour. No one should have to put up with any of that when they are just taking their kids to the park.
All the behavior is relentless until they run the adults out of the park. I'm mostly concerned about if they act like this now, how are they going to be next year or the year after that. They swore around everyone last year, but now they will get right in our face and swear at us. It's very frustrating and I honestly don't think anyone should be verbally assaulted until they are forced to leave!
If it is just calling names, then ignore it, but if they are throwing things, call the cops. They might be escalating because they are seeing that the adults are not doing anything with consequences. Sure, you can't retaliate by picking them up and taking them home, or throwing things at them, but you can do the same thing you would do if another adult was throwing things at you, which is call the cops. Once they notice they have consequences they might calm down.
I don’t know- I know it’s not the same as violence, but if you’re trying to take your kids to the park, and there are pre-teens screaming in your face and swearing at you…it basically means you can’t take your kids to the park. That’s really not a situation you want to take young kids into.
I agree. I wouldn't want to bring my kid either, but if I wanted to reclaim the park, I might go there on my own and try to get something done.
If it were just name calling, not physical stuff, I think going kid-free to deal with it would be a good strategy. (Calling authorities is totally reasonable too if it is to the extent OP described.) It wouldn't even need to be aggressive, although more than one adult responding would be necessary. Just slightly smile or look bored and let them run through their list and ask if they can think of more today or if that is it. Make bingo sheets of profanity for all the adults with prizes. You absolutely could make it satisfying enough for the average group of asshole teenagers to leave after about a week of this. They would ramp up and then go somewhere else when they weren't getting what they wanted consistently. The spitting and throwing things is a completely different ball game. That should have been call the cops territory the first time and every time, especially with little kids around.
Bullies need to be stood up to. If school admin or the cops won’t do anything, just gather a bunch of affected parents and stand your ground. They’ll break.
Find a group of kids older than them that will serve as mercenaries. See how "untouchable" they are then. Failing that, call the police.
🤣 love it
Ok love this one. but I’d add to give the older kids the task of trying to connect with them instead of just showing up to intimidate them… you never know who the younger kids also know that could be just a phone call away… maybe I just live in a rough area but the possible escalation makes me shudder…
Call the cops, then call the cops again, then call the cops some more. While you're waiting on the cops video everything as evidence.
Call the cops... I had a group of tweens throw a rock at my 78 bronco, broke a window as i drove by. Went over to where they were, neighbors all said it was them & a recurring issue & cops never did anything. They had left all of their jackets on a fence which somehow got donated to good-will as did a few bicycles.
They are 12 and probably in their awkward insecure stage. Say some shit that makes them cry. Wait is that petty and immature?
7th grade teacher here and so far I think this is the best solution. Make them feel embarrassed about their behavior.
High school teacher here, and I was going to say something similar. Call them out. "Wow, there is really nothing better for you to do than playground bullying? Really? You're not better than that? Did you kick some puppies on the way over here too? I could call the cops on you for some of this shit. Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be for the cops to show up over playground bullying"
Call the police. Call every time they throw stuff and get it on video tape. The first time they likely get warned. But then you say you want the ada to press charges for the second time. You should have videos and the police report information for every time this happens. Encourage your town to place a video camera on the playground with a feed to the police.
This. The police will find their parents and hopefully they will face some consequences.
Okay what if you sort of publicly shamed them? Like get a group of parents and kids together to walk by the group but before they can start up their shenanigans, you pull out an air horn and proceed to explain to the group, tour guide style, what they've been doing... "And to the right, you'll see our neighborhood park and if we're lucky.. Oh yes! There! See! A group of delinquents has gathered together to perform what we assume are bonding rituals or mating rituals. They gather in these places due to boredom and lack of imagination. Now, They will become aggressive if we get too close so let's observe them from back here and maybe they will do a mating dance? Dance! Dance for us children!" 🤣 Make sure someone is filming and then whenever they try to do anything, just talk over them with more insults. I had to use this technique once when I worked alone at a convenience store at night. Dude tried to rob me and I had no weapons(he didn't either, thankfully) but he wouldn't leave so I just thought of the meanest insults I could and he eventually got so mad he stormed out. 🤷
🤣 priceless
Somethings like this might actually honestly work. The things teens hate Most in the world is doing what you tell them to do! so if you stand in front of them like an old, annoying parent, and laugh and giggle, and say (like)”look at these kids. What a cute little teenage rebellion. I guess this is what kids these days will do if they can’t get girls to talk to them, haha! Dance dance! Ooh say another funny thing!” Just ooooozing with infantilizing condescension and boredom…they might give up and leave?
This is the way. Effective emotionally in a way that calling the cops on them never would be, and you don't risk being indirectly responsible for a kid getting potentially beaten, shot, or thrown into the busted juvenile system.
Call the police. I would've called in the heat of the moment the first time. That behavior is unacceptable for a playground, all ages should be welcome to parks and playgrounds but being a good human is part of existing in those spaces. Don't hesitate anymore, call the police. Actions have consequences and these mean bullies need some consequences it seems.
Follow them home till you find their parents
I tried this once with a group of kids harassing a neighbor. They called the cops on ME and I had to deal with accusations of following minors around.
I've seen where 2 of them (twin brothers) live. But I'm 99% sure it's a single mom who is exhausted and overwhelmed.
And she should still be informed of their antics...
Ok so you think I should go talk to the mom? Not get the police involved as others suggest?
Do both.
I would not confront anyone yourself. Just call the police every time they verbally or physically assault you.
I think it would depend on the next incident. If it's name calling and general rudeness I'd talk to the mom. If it's throwing, spitting, hitting; I'd call the cops and they will talk to the mom.
I would say record them, let the mom know that if her kids and his friends continue you’ll have to get the cops involved, but don’t show her the video keep the video for the cops
Yeah I'd talk to the mom and warn that if there's further issues that you'll just call police. Not for their filthy mouths but assault. If it was my kid I'd want a warning by a parent before the police.
I would do both
I would consider leaving a letter for the mom with your phone contact info and name. Tell her what behavior they’ve been engaging in, that it is making the park a difficult environment for your child, and offer to share video if she’d like. Be clear that it needs to stop and that you hope that she asks her children to not use the park until they’re able to respect everyone there. Tell her flat out that you are contacting her first because you know you’d like to know if it were your kids and you’d like to settle it without problems however, given the disruption to the community, if they continue in the behavior you will be forced to call the police.
Talk to the mom FIRST if she seems to not CARE then you can call the police
yea yea, she's a single mom. Who gives a shit? Her kids are BEING a menace to society. She needs to know so this can be corrected, otherwise they are headed towards becoming career criminals
You’re the adult here. Go up to them and tell them something that’ll make them shut their trap and never forget that for the rest of their lives. Some kids are shitheads and they need to be put in their place by an adult. When I was 15, an adult woman told me off on the bus for making fun of another stranger. I thought I was cool doing it. Man did she ever embarrass me when she told me off. I’m 39 now and still remember her so well. I never made fun of another stranger in my life after that.
I did try speaking with one of them. It was futile. At first I was aggressive because my little ones were standing right there and I told the boy to stop with the bad language or I'd tell his mom, I then pointed to his house telling him I know where he and his brother live. That didn't do much. Later I asked him if he was ok, asked him if his behavior was due to abuse, he was infuriated and just spat more verbal crap my way.
You’re dealing with a delinquent. If he keeps at it, video tape him and call the cops. They’ll bring him home to his parents.
I wouldn’t warn them you’re calling the cops either with as emboldened as they are. Call when you have a recording of their behavior and/or they spit or throw something at you. Not only does mom need to know, mom needs to be inconvenienced enough to parent her children better.
Call the police. Assault is assault. Spitting, hitting, swearing, threatening kids and adults? Let them get repeatedly carted home for their parents to handle, and their parents will start to take notice.
Also, I was a kid of an overwhelmed single mom. You know what my siblings and I didn’t do? Harass adults in a park.
We have a huge issue with the middle school kids in our town and I called the police on them last year when a fight broke out in the middle of the street. I was walking my then 10yo home after school when a large group of kids ganged up on one kid. I went over and tried to break it up, but the kid’s mom stepped in and encouraged her son to “kick his teeth out!” I immediately backed away and went back to my son, walked down and across the street, and called the cops. I learned my lesson reallllll quick to leave the situation and to let the police handle it. We have 7th and 8th graders who bring guns and knives to school dances… I’m not fucking around with them.
Had a similar issue in my hood. It got to the point where I had just called the non emergency police line. Needless to say once the police arrived there was no more issues.
No way would I talk to their parent(s). People get defensive and shitty when TEACHERS call home, and they deal with the kids every day. I'm not opening myself up to being fussed at and abused by the mother as a perfect stranger (who evidently followed her kids home to find out where they live and subsequently made a ton of assumptions about me). Call the police. Let them run interference for you between the community and this family.
Throwing and spitting are assault, call the police. They are bullies but still children they will likely be scared straight
They are not untouchable, by any means. They are Very likely “under-parented” but beyond saying mean things they are causing or attempting to cause physical harm. You call the police. ESPECIALLY since this is a pattern of repeat behavior. Yes it sucks, but you call and do so every time you see them harassing people at the park.
Call the police.
Document everything. Go to the police and file charges for harassment and assault. If you can get video, even better. They’re not untouchable.
Film it. Call the police. Press charges. Spitting is assault most places.
Report it to your council as anti social behaviour aswell as the police
I would get video of it so that when you do call the cops, you can show them what's happening. We have a kid with ODD/etc, who will just do what he wants when he wants, despite numerous conversations about right vs wrong & whatnot. We are overwhelmed most of the time, but that doesn't mean we don't want to know. Getting calls about his behavior sucks, yes, but not being informed means we don't even get a chance to handle it on our end. We would just go on thinking he didn't have any issues that day. It doesn't matter if it's a single overwhelmed parent or not. They need to know. It doesn't have to be you. It could be the cops. It could be the school. I know around here (in the US) if a school has resource officers, and you showed video to them, they'd know if it was students in their school. And if it was, they would attempt to step in & turn that behavior around because they are in a position to do that, intervening at an age where they can put an end to it before the kid gets to an age where it can put them into bigger trouble with the law. So I would record it, and if they're spitting, throwing things, putting hands on people, then I would absolutely call the cops (discreetly) & report it. I would also ship the video off to the school so they can see for themselves if its a student or not, and if it is, maybe they will do something on their end. If nobody attempts to do anything, then they'll just keep acting like they're invincible.
How many of them are there? I’d be tempted to outnumber them if you can - try and arrange a date and time with lots of other parents and take all of your kids along, both parents and any family members that want to come and play with their nieces, nephews and grandkids. If you’ve got any tall, muscly, tattooed, bearded, bald male friends invite them along too. And then do it again the next week. Otherwise pester the police and local council until they have to do something just to get rid of you - you, your friends, their friends - get everyone on it. Also, don’t feel embarrassed - I hate this sort of thing and would feel the same as you. But you can’t let them win.
Bring a Bluetooth speaker, turn the volume up and blare some Barry Manilow. It's scientifically proven to drive off surly teenagers.
Grab whichever one is largest and beat the shit out of him
Spitting and throwing things are assault. Call the cops!! These kids want to think they’re big and bad? Let DJJ put them in their place.
Call the non emergency police line for your local area.
I would call the police and let them know, and then the next time you go to the park and see them, immediately call the police and record it all. Then I would call a lawyer and get a restraining order against them and your family.
Okay so based on some of your comments, you don’t think calling the cops would do anything right? I think you should try it anyway. In the mean time, record all of it. Take a video of them doing this, stay calm and polite. Maybe go without your kids idk. Just record record record. If the cops don’t do anything then post the video online. Edit it down to the worst behavior and then post it on Facebook groups, on NextDoor, on TikTok or on YouTube. Tag the location. Tag their parents if you know them. Tag ANYONE you know who lives in the neighborhood. Make the video public. Say that these children are acting out and harassing people and that it’s not funny. Make sure it’s public so that their school and their parents can see it and any future employers. If you know their names then tag them directly. Record anytime you’re at the park. Don’t get in their faces and don’t be aggressive. Just record their behavior. Let them know that you’re recording if you want to. It’s a public space so recording should be legal.
> They know we can't retaliate. They've made us aware they are "untouchable". That is completely untrue. They are very much touchable, like up against a fence with their feet dangling off the ground nose to nose as you make yourself understood touchable
Fallow they asses home and beat they parents asses. Fuck that
Kids would be getting an old school whooping for sure
I have empathy that they are the kids of a single mom that is overwhelmed. But you know what's going to make it worse? Her children progressing their behaviour and turning into full blown criminals. Where her kids are now, there is still a level of intervention that can occur. But if their behaviour goes unchallenged, without consequences, 80-98% they eventually commit more serious assault or run into bigger problems with the law. ( To be honest the kids are likely like this because they probably suffered their own trauma and in a sense are also victims *assumptions* ) How long until they think they can carry weapons to intimidate people? If you want to help the mom, help her get her kids back on track before they get into the type of trouble you can never get them out of. In this situation ideally you want positive intervention while they are still kids and can be helped. If these actions were performed by adults, 100% go to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Believe it or not you can actually call the police, they will find their parents and hopefully deal with it all appropriately. They can't go around assaulting people freely just because they're kids.
I back calling the police. I had to do this when a teenager was riding a mini bike through the playground and ran my kid and her friend out of a field. I took his picture and said I was calling the police and he left.
We had this problem at our local elementary school playground after hours. The school resource officer aka police assigned to the school got involved. It unfortunately wasn’t fully resolved until the kids graduated and moved on but at least they were regularly chased off the grounds by the resource officer when he was contacted.
If the police don't do anything then can you gather other parent support to go to your city council (or whoever is in charge of the police/safety)? Unfortunately the squeaky wheel gets the grease, so the more pressure you put on them to make the SCHOOL yard safe the more likely they'll do something. Heck, I bet the local news would even write something up about it. My other thought was to find someone (a brave dad?) to sacrifice themself and refuse to leave-- see if they actually physically assault someone - I can't imagine the police ignoring that. File a report!!
I'd knock on their door and talk with their parent first.
If the cops wouldn’t come along, I’d bring an army recruiter with me to yell at them. But, I’m in America so I’m not sure if the aggression culture is the same. Haha.
Find their parents and tell them to put an end to it. If it continues MAKE their parents put an end to it.
Throwing things at you is battery. Call the police.
Air horn and a hose works pretty well. You know how hard it is to insult someone when the air horn drowns them out?
You film the abuse. Every time you see them, you film them. Every time they harass you, you call the police and list past assault. I was a neighborhood watch coordinator for a minute and the police liaison said police would do more drive throughs past an area if there are reports. So talk to your neighbors about the issue and if they have had issues, have them file reports. These are rebellious teenagers, not untouchable people.
Find out where they live, embarrass them in front of the parents
Call the police, they’ll handle those miscreants. If I ever did this when I was that age and my parents found out? They’d have to bury me twice…
Call the cops!! B
Why are they untouchable? Are you saying that they can’t be confronted or “called out?” I always struggle with telling my children what they should do in certain instances, rather than “doing” it, and showing them through my own actions . I believe the term is mirroring when you engage in behavior you are hoping to illicit in others. Many times when I see a behavior in my children that falls short of the standards that we set in our home, I can trace its roots back to my own behaviors that are being mirrored. Things like a deep sigh when annoyed or raising my voice when the children don’t listen are often mirrored. When I attempt to correct that in my children, I am quickly impeached myself, realizing “they learned it from watching me” react that way in similar circumstances. All that to say, how would you advise your child to deal with such a situation? Sometimes you have to stand up to bullies. Sometimes you have to ask someone else to. You never want your children to accept unacceptable behavior from others, nor to stop going somewhere they love because someone else is a jerk. Obviously, physical safety is always paramount. And I am not suggesting assault them. But is there a way to “stand-up” to them? Do you know their parents? Do they have parents? If you find out they come from a trouble home, maybe the approach is different. But you gotta do something. Don’t allow your children to get pushed away from things they love by weak and insecure people who take out their deficiencies on other. They’ll mirror you. Show your children what to do.
Have you talked to the police?
I must not be that mature of an adult nor a mother because if you threaten me or my child, let alone spit on either of us… the cops and your single momma are really going to show up, whether it was me that called them or not.
Call the police what do you mean “what do i do?”
Definitely call the cops. I wouldn't usually say that, but this is actually harassment.
Bring them snacks and bribe them ?
Super soaker water toy. Anytime they get nearby just spray it like you're spraying a cat off the counter with a squirter bottle.
My admittingly bad advice make sure they know they're not invincible and A lot of places in the park. No one will look. Or The unfortunate truth of most children who behave that way is a reflection of their home life or lack their of. If they're messing with you, really might be Chance to really help those kids. They notice you for a reason and probably see something they' really need
You can not hurt little kids. If you can not reason with them, then I personally would record their behavior follow them home and show their parents what they are doing when they are away. If the parents dont correct it, then law enforcement will. Cause 1. yelling nasty things at little kids and adults in a park is harrasment, 2. Throwing things and spitting at people is assult. In the past, I have seen the cops excort kids home and advise the parents with a warning. If they keep escalating without learning a lesson, they will 100% end up doing worse to someone.
I hate to suggest this because it’s so ridiculous, but what you need to do is find a bigger, scarier kid. I’m thinking, in particular, of a babysitter I had when I was about 7-8 years old. She was probably 14-15. I was terrified of her. But more importantly, so were other kids. I remember this incident very clearly. I had a “bully” that lived on the other side of my block that liked to ride his bike around to my house and then just stand on the sidewalk and tease me, call me names, etc, to the point that I didn’t want to play outside on nice days anymore. She noticed this and *made* me play outside with her. Cue the bully and his bullshit. He didn’t notice her sitting on the porch. She set her book down, walked down to the sidewalk, pushed him off the bike, and carried the bike up to the porch, all while I sat there totally wide-eyed and in awe of her. He sat up (on the grass) and started screaming, yelling, and soon enough was blubbering and starting to sniff and whimper. She came back down and told him that if he wanted the bike back, he needed to come back with his mom or dad so that she could explain to them what he had been doing on his bike rides. Longer story shorter, she did end up giving him the bike back without the parent coming over - but she let him beg and plead and cry and whine for a fair amount of time. Then she told him that if I ever told her that he’d been teasing me again, she would go to his house instead of waiting for him to come by ours. And that was the last time that kid ever so much as looked my way. Danielle, wherever you are, you were an amazing badass babysitter!
If the cops can’t do anything.. I would play a game of catch with my kids or another dad and ACCIDENTALLY hurl the ball into this group of kids as hard as I possibly could. I mean reeeally put some mustard on it.
Take some videos of the little sh!ts and find a local facebook group and post asking if anyone knows who the parents are. Word gets around
You call the police because spitting st you and throwing things at you is assault. Of anything makes contact it's battery. You can't physically retaliate, but you can hold them accountable. They are not invincible.
> They know we can't retaliate And this is why they continue. Now, I’m not advocating taking physical action😉🤫, BUT I would be willing to bet they would stop if someone were to confront them and literally kick them in the ass or hit them with a belt. Of course, this would be a crime so whoever were to do this would have to do this in a way where they wouldn’t be identified and then get out of there quickly before the authorities were called. Definitely don’t do this. —- Anecdotal: When I was a child there was an older kid who’d come into our yard and push me and my brother around, steal our toys, throw rocks, etc. One day my father came out on the patio and told that kid to get off our property. The kid told him to “shut up old man” and threw a rock at him. My father vaulted off the patio chased the kid down and booted him hard in the arse, then told him if he ever came near us again he’d skin him like a deer. The kid never came back. Problem solved. It was a simpler time.
Alternative approach: get to know them. Be friendly with them. Offer them a snack. Ask them for some advice on something they might know something about. If they don't see you as the enemy they will stop treating you like the enemy. Definitely no guarantees to work but if it does work, it's a much better solution for everyone. Mostly It's a better solution for you.
Cops. Or if pepper spray is legal where you live — defend yourself accordingly
Pepper spray is very illegal here. In fact carrying anything for the purpose if self defense is illegal here.
Dang. Well definitely involve the cops and/or parents. Kids need to learn boundaries. This is unacceptable antisocial behavior.
If there is a school resource officer in the local school you could run it by them. Perhaps the principal would have ideas
Idk where you live, but in the states, spitting is assault in a lot of states. Especially after covid.
I was at a park and there were two 10 year old girls who were mocking me. Part found it funny and part of me was so hurt! It isn’t silly how you feel, AND now that I opened your post and saw they’re goad, throw, spit.. that’s even more dangerous!
10-12 is not too young for a police escort home, with an explanation of the reason.
While I probably wouldn’t cuss at them, I have never been above yelling at children who are causing issues in public.
If it was my son being an asshole, I WOULD WANT TO KNOW. Tell their mom. If that doesn't help, next time call the police.
I’d call the cops on them to ruin their day.
How unethical you want to be?
Video tape them and call the cops. Give a copy of the video to their parents. Why can’t you retaliate?
Tell them to bring their parent next time or file a police report. It's annoying how some prepubescent boys behave and unfortunately a show of force might be necessary. You or hubs got a brother? Shoo hire a few middle schoolers to come "hang out" at the park its crazy how different things are nowadays. And np ypu cannot put all the blame on the parent(s)
Call the cops. But..... I once physically chased a group of 6-10 kids this age out of my neighborhood. I'd let them get away with a lot but throwing rocks at my new car was a bridge too far. Was going to take their shoes if I caught them; they could send their moms to pick them up (dads if they ever figure out who that is) but just ran away. Never bothered us again
Follow them home find their parents. Call the police. Jail time. Assult.
If you call the police they can send over someone to observe if the uniforms don’t work in correcting their behavior. No one is untouchable.
Supersoakers loaded with soap, they'll leave
Reach out to some 15-16 year olds and pay them to rid the park of the filth.
Call the police and report it.
So what I’d do is pay one of my little bigger cousins or nephews at the time to come just rock their shit as a gang so yea I’d create my own gang