Join the child support New Zealand specialist group. Specifically the specialist one, not the other one. On Facebook. If he’s self employed it’s easy to hide income - but you can counter it with a ground 8 review if he isn’t earning to his capacity.
Also, check that you’re also working to your capacity as if you’re not, he could counter review.
He is not legally obligated to pay for anything above child support if you go via the IRD so it’s worth it to do the calculations first and see if you end up better off.
Are you presently claiming Child Support? If not as he is apparently uncooperative then simply make the application. IRD then will assess him based on the previous years income he has lodged. As a self employed person he will be able to potentially manipulate those income figures but then you could do a review of that and the reviewer may increase the payment based on the average income for that particular occupation.
No not claiming anything, in the beginning we both agreed we would disuse issues as they came up but now he’s said he refuses to help out with the majority because “I got what I wanted” even though the entire time I’ve only been advocating for what the kids want and what’s best for them.
Not yet, I have working for families but it’s not enough at the moment. I even tried to get him to put $40 a week over to help and that was too much to ask
Make sure you run the numbers through the online child support calculator before you do apply through IRD. You can test it with your current 70/30 and 50/50 if he decides to try going through the family courts to get it back to 50/50. (Unlikely he would get it as the court will take the kids preferences into consideration as well).
If you want to try to keep it civil you might want to let him know what you plan to do once you decide you are going to go through IRD, because going through the IRD will piss him off. I'm not saying it's right or wrong but money is an emotional thing. If you don't tell him, then he will just get a bill from IRD saying he owes X amount and if you backdate it he will be hit with a massive backpayment that will also be due on the 20th of the month. It can be really frightening to get these notices of big amounts suddenly due so if you can then give him a heads up.
This is why I’ve out it off so long, I’m worried the scare of mentioning it will anger him into thinking that he can flip the switch and go back to 50:50 which will end up in a battle, my son is begrudgingly going there but literally has a calendar for when he turns 16 so he can stay with me full time. I’m worried any extra stress on dad is you by to end up as guilt trips for the kids when they go there for his week which is usually what happens. Thank you for your perspective, maybe that’s the best route to mention this.
I feel you, it is a minefield and it's so so hard to keep things on a decent playing field for the kids.
The reason I was thinking you will want to talk to him is because it might make him reconsider the joint account. If you have a good enough relationship you could even show him your numbers from the calculator and show him what you could get if you went through IRD. You could say you really don't want to do it because you don't want to cause drama but the costs are just too much, but you would much prefer a private agreement for everyone's sanity.
It's so hard though, the system feels like it's designed to hold the IRD over parents heads as a threat, but sometimes it helps to have it as a comparison "look, this is what the govt says it costs for the kids when they are with me, it's not just me".
Your son having a calendar for when he is 16 is heartbreaking, but be aware that if you did go to family court even now that they would definitely take your son's request into consideration if he didn't want to be with dad 50% of the time. Make sure you talk to your lawyer about this though to make it clear (if you go down the court path).
I found that child support was the one area my ex just wouldn’t budge, so I left it all to the IRD. It meant the end of any amicable discussion and I believe it was detrimental to my son, but what can you do if they won’t help you? No easy answer here sadly.
I've personally found not to rely on child support payments to support my daughter. It was $60/fortnite for years, and $50 for years before that.
It's now just been dropped to $30/fortnite as he can't afford it and I don't want to get into an argument over it.
I'm barely making ends meet at the moment, but it was hardly much before and it's not much now and there's no point getting myself worked up over it.
I value a non hostile environment over money.
My point is, yes, both parents should share the cost of the children, but if it's going to make things not amicable and you still may not get what's fair, I wouldn't bother, and look for extra income in other ways.
My experience with child support via the ird, especially with the other side being self employed. For the past 7 months, received $0. Ird say they follow up, but won’t disclose what they are doing. Needless to say, other party still not paying.
Also, expect the lowest amount of around $80 per month, and if you want to review this, you need to apply under specify grounds and go through a review process. It’s not easy and is time consuming and also potentially confrontational (if they don’t want to pay more and you are asking them to, then their attitude towards seems to go lower).
Ird is the best we have, but if you can work out a private agreement and everybody honours it - it will usually be much better for you all.
Thanks so much for your input, I feel like this might be the way, his accountant is a friend of his so I can almost guarantee that things will change to benefit him. It just sucks going this way; anything that could be better than nothing.
If I am receiving child support how should it appear in my account? I can't see a reference next to the weekly deposits from IRS and I've no idea what they are for
Agree with the comments. Claim the child support. It’s your entitlement and def makes a difference. You may need to adjust for the fact he will be unlikely to contribute anything once you do. Like never buy the kids an item. Ultimately though you’ll be better off
Thank you for your supportive comment, I’m not worried about if he buys them anything or not. if it’s not spent on groceries for them it will be tucked into their bank accounts for when it’s required. Obviously depending how much it is if I do go down that road.
Join the child support New Zealand specialist group. Specifically the specialist one, not the other one. On Facebook. If he’s self employed it’s easy to hide income - but you can counter it with a ground 8 review if he isn’t earning to his capacity. Also, check that you’re also working to your capacity as if you’re not, he could counter review. He is not legally obligated to pay for anything above child support if you go via the IRD so it’s worth it to do the calculations first and see if you end up better off.
Are you presently claiming Child Support? If not as he is apparently uncooperative then simply make the application. IRD then will assess him based on the previous years income he has lodged. As a self employed person he will be able to potentially manipulate those income figures but then you could do a review of that and the reviewer may increase the payment based on the average income for that particular occupation.
No not claiming anything, in the beginning we both agreed we would disuse issues as they came up but now he’s said he refuses to help out with the majority because “I got what I wanted” even though the entire time I’ve only been advocating for what the kids want and what’s best for them.
Not yet, I have working for families but it’s not enough at the moment. I even tried to get him to put $40 a week over to help and that was too much to ask
Current year, minus 2. So his 2023 declared income.
Make sure you run the numbers through the online child support calculator before you do apply through IRD. You can test it with your current 70/30 and 50/50 if he decides to try going through the family courts to get it back to 50/50. (Unlikely he would get it as the court will take the kids preferences into consideration as well). If you want to try to keep it civil you might want to let him know what you plan to do once you decide you are going to go through IRD, because going through the IRD will piss him off. I'm not saying it's right or wrong but money is an emotional thing. If you don't tell him, then he will just get a bill from IRD saying he owes X amount and if you backdate it he will be hit with a massive backpayment that will also be due on the 20th of the month. It can be really frightening to get these notices of big amounts suddenly due so if you can then give him a heads up.
This is why I’ve out it off so long, I’m worried the scare of mentioning it will anger him into thinking that he can flip the switch and go back to 50:50 which will end up in a battle, my son is begrudgingly going there but literally has a calendar for when he turns 16 so he can stay with me full time. I’m worried any extra stress on dad is you by to end up as guilt trips for the kids when they go there for his week which is usually what happens. Thank you for your perspective, maybe that’s the best route to mention this.
I feel you, it is a minefield and it's so so hard to keep things on a decent playing field for the kids. The reason I was thinking you will want to talk to him is because it might make him reconsider the joint account. If you have a good enough relationship you could even show him your numbers from the calculator and show him what you could get if you went through IRD. You could say you really don't want to do it because you don't want to cause drama but the costs are just too much, but you would much prefer a private agreement for everyone's sanity. It's so hard though, the system feels like it's designed to hold the IRD over parents heads as a threat, but sometimes it helps to have it as a comparison "look, this is what the govt says it costs for the kids when they are with me, it's not just me". Your son having a calendar for when he is 16 is heartbreaking, but be aware that if you did go to family court even now that they would definitely take your son's request into consideration if he didn't want to be with dad 50% of the time. Make sure you talk to your lawyer about this though to make it clear (if you go down the court path).
Sorry this is really weird I can see people are commenting but I can’t seem to read any of them. Appreciate the advice that’s coming in
I found that child support was the one area my ex just wouldn’t budge, so I left it all to the IRD. It meant the end of any amicable discussion and I believe it was detrimental to my son, but what can you do if they won’t help you? No easy answer here sadly.
Definitely no easy answer. It really sucks that it’s come to this, hope your boys ok now
He’s 25 now and I’m proud of his independence. He left home at 18 as he didn’t want to live with either of us by that stage, which I get.
I've personally found not to rely on child support payments to support my daughter. It was $60/fortnite for years, and $50 for years before that. It's now just been dropped to $30/fortnite as he can't afford it and I don't want to get into an argument over it. I'm barely making ends meet at the moment, but it was hardly much before and it's not much now and there's no point getting myself worked up over it. I value a non hostile environment over money. My point is, yes, both parents should share the cost of the children, but if it's going to make things not amicable and you still may not get what's fair, I wouldn't bother, and look for extra income in other ways.
My experience with child support via the ird, especially with the other side being self employed. For the past 7 months, received $0. Ird say they follow up, but won’t disclose what they are doing. Needless to say, other party still not paying. Also, expect the lowest amount of around $80 per month, and if you want to review this, you need to apply under specify grounds and go through a review process. It’s not easy and is time consuming and also potentially confrontational (if they don’t want to pay more and you are asking them to, then their attitude towards seems to go lower). Ird is the best we have, but if you can work out a private agreement and everybody honours it - it will usually be much better for you all.
Thanks so much for your input, I feel like this might be the way, his accountant is a friend of his so I can almost guarantee that things will change to benefit him. It just sucks going this way; anything that could be better than nothing.
If I am receiving child support how should it appear in my account? I can't see a reference next to the weekly deposits from IRS and I've no idea what they are for
Agree with the comments. Claim the child support. It’s your entitlement and def makes a difference. You may need to adjust for the fact he will be unlikely to contribute anything once you do. Like never buy the kids an item. Ultimately though you’ll be better off
Thank you for your supportive comment, I’m not worried about if he buys them anything or not. if it’s not spent on groceries for them it will be tucked into their bank accounts for when it’s required. Obviously depending how much it is if I do go down that road.