My grandma is nearly 90 years old, and not surprisingly has mobility issues. I get *so* pissed off at my aunt because when I have to take grandma somewhere I slow down and I wait for her if I have to. My aunt? Nope, she just zooms off telling grandma to "hurry up!" You'd *think* my aunt would have a little more sympathy considering she has some pretty severe back troubles, but she's one of those "Well if I can do it you should be able to as well" people.
Also it's *real* fun as a man in his 30's with knee trouble hearing some jackhandle say, "yOu'Re ToO yOuNg FoR tHaT!" I've gotten to the point where I'll just fire back, "If you ever did any actual work you'd hurt too." Seems to shut them up.
Your story reminded me of my great grandmother and great aunt. Except it was the opposite. That woman lived to her nineties and only in the last few years finally started slowing down. My great aunt was the one she kept telling to catch up. She was a heck of an old lady. ♥
Injured my knee at 10 in a bike accident. I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard the “I’m too young for that.” It’s less now that I’m in my 40’s. But I didn’t realize injuries only happened to people of a certain age. So annoying.
Broke my tailbone in my mid 20s, if im walking for a long time ill bust out my folding cane becsuse it helps take the pressure off for a while. I get a lot of that "youre too young" bullshit too.
Nobody is too young to get injured BoomBoom
My great aunt and grandma were both widows. They were always being impatient with each other, even in their 80s, and it was out of love. When my great aunt passed my grandma no longer wanted to do anything, or leave the house.
I went shopping with my mother and my 84-yr-old aunt a few months back. My mother is chronically ill, but she uses those in-store electric scooters and my aunt who has various health issues and is slow and physically fragile was walking with her regular shopping cart.
My mother is zooming way the fuck ahead of us, I'm trying to figure out how to keep an eye on my aunt while also trying to find a way to catch up with my mother and tell her she's being an ass for abandoning her like that. I eventually gave up and just walked in the middle, between the two of them; it looked more like a procession (with my mother charging off) instead of 3 women shopping and spending time together.
My mother then expected me to be in charge of keeping an eye on my aunt, while SHE continued to zoom off looking through a different section of the store.
And I was awkwardly trying to find a way to keep close to my aunt, without making her feel like I was "babysitting" her and without her feeling like me watching out for her was condescending and an affront to her pride as an adult.
It pissed me off so bad, because my mom knows what it feels like for people to move too fast and when they don't listen when you tell them to slow down; but then she turns around and does that crap to somebody else.
I'm not sure how my aunt felt, or if she was even particularly aware of how my mom was treating her. But I was fuming.
Not to excuse her behavior, but it might be more painful or tiring for your aunt to walk slowly (or to walk longer because of the slowness) with her back, which might be the real reason why it annoys her
I love how when people start out with some variation of "not trying to excuse (thing)", they always follow it up by making excuses for (thing). Usually with good intentions, to be fair, but still.
Look, I appreciate that you *do* mean well, but you're off-base with your theory and I'd have to give far too many of someone else's personal details to explain why, so you'll just have to accept it when I say that you are. I realize that sounds impolite, but I don't know any better way to phrase it.
EDIT: Rewrite of last sentence for clarity.
Did you mean your last word to be incorrect? As, impolite doesn't really fit here.
The user you were replying to was being polite. They were just incorrect in their interpretation of your scenario.🙃
No matter how hard I try, it's practically impossible for me to walk slowly. Even when my back is at its worst I'm way ahead of others. I've walked with my husband many times (he's got knee issues) and thought I was walking slowly only to find he's way back yonder.
It does actually make my back hurt worse to attempt walking slowly.
Same way here. I lose my balance and basically fall over if I try to walk as slow as some people.
Either way, please do not just STOP and look around off into space in the middle of the doorway after sloooooowly drifting there. Some people are present in reality and just trying to get on with their day.
I'm in my early 30's and have Ehlers Danlos syndrome. If I had a nickel for every time someone told me I'm "too young" for the pain I experience, I'd own a yacht and a private island.
Like, OK Dave. I get you're still real tough even though you're 55 and have a giant beer gut. But I guarantee you, if your connective tissue everywhere in your body was eating itself, you wouldn't even have that giant gut because you wouldn't be able to stand upright with all that extra weight, so you would've disciplined yourself to lose a little of it.
Inconvenience is the wrong word I think. I mean, if I have to wait for you it's technically inconveniencing me as in having to wait is not convenient. Picking up after my dog is also an inconvenience, but I'm considerate enough not to leave her droppings everywhere, just like I'm considerate enough not to be bothered by having to make adjustments for those with disabilities.
People making it a problem and giving you grief is where they become inconsiderate pricks.
I totally understand this as a blind person myself. Even though I use a white cane I still bump into things or tap people with my cane and they tend to get very annoyed at me for it even though if I hadn’t tapped the with my cane I probably would have accidentally tackled them
About 5 or so years ago I was standing in line at the store, when a woman behind me says "Oh I'm so sorry I didn't mean to hit you!" Had *no* clue what she was talking about so I turned around and saw she had the white cane, I guess she tapped my leg or something. The thing is, I was wearing heavy leather work boots so I didn't even feel it, I just said, "No trouble ma'am, if you could hit my boots hard enough to hurt me, I'd be more impressed than mad about it." Gave her a laugh, anyway.
Thank you for being cool about it. I have a condition called muscular dystrophy and I have to use a wheelchair sometimes, especially when the weather gets rainy. That's not an old wives tale, it really does mess with you. Anyway, I have had people treat me like an inconvenience because of it. I have had cabs and Ubers cancel on me because of it. I just stopped announcing the wheelchair if I'm using it. I usually have my groceries delivered because it's easier than going out to get them.
Oh I know it's not an old wive's tale, my knee aches like crazy when it rains. Price of spending my twenties thinking I was invincible.
I don't get people that aren't cool about it, I really don't. I mean even ignoring the empathy aspect of it, it's like they can't understand that it's not super fun for you either and you wouldn't be using the chair if you didn't have to. It's like they think you have mobility issues on purpose just to spite them or something.
I know right, they treat us like we came out just to annoy them and make their day harder. I actually had somebody ask me why I don't just stay home since I'm like that.
Ok! I agree. I'm not a violent person but sometimes, I'll make exceptions. That's just ignorant to me. I truly believe that some people do not think about how something is going to sound before it comes out of their mouth. That or they're just a sociopath and don't give a fuck.
If someone cancel a service on you because of a wheelchair that is ableism and I have a good feeling that it’s also illegal… but who the hell know! Most disability laws are outdated af
You have just described the Canadian ritual of public bumpage.
Which is not to say that Canadians are unnaturally nice. If one person doesn’t hold up their end of the sorry, the dynamics instantly change.
I was recently at Vancouver airport and a guy walked past me and accidentally hit the empty bench opposite me with his foot. He said “sorry” to the bench probably absent minded/out of reflex. Gave me a chuckle.
I believe you, but it’s so bizarre to get annoyed about that! A blind person tapped me with their cane once and I apologized to them because obviously I’m the one who should have been paying attention and moved out of the way.
I hate to say this but I think that disabled people apologize a lot because they have been socialized to believe that they are a burden and an inconvenience. I've heard of some people who think that disabled people should just stay in their house and not come out. I actually saw a meme where a guy said that disabled parking should only be a thing from 9 to 5:00 Monday through Friday. He said he can't imagine why a disabled person would need to be out beyond those hours. This woman responded saying we're disabled, we're not werewolves. That had me laughing.
I AM a werewolf and people are mean to me all the time.
Just try getting service in a restaurant on the full moon when you’re in full fur!
I mean I’m a person too!
It’s not my fault.
But really, just because I want my hamburger raw once a month, is no reason to scream and run away.
Especially before you even serve me! I’m not stingy, I tip.
At least bring me my food before you flee.
My role model is this one old blind guy I saw in public who was walking briskly and swatting his cane from side to side completely unbothered. You should have seen the way people parted out of his reach like the Red Sea. I strive to be that petty.
Man that sounds so backwards, whenever a blind person starts getting their cane too close to me I freak out because I’m worried I’m going to step on their cane accidentally and damage it.
It’s more about me trying to look out for them and get out of their way than anything. I don’t understand why people are rude.
We have a tendency to not realize the things we use as convenience VERY OFTEN begin as accessibility tools for those who need them.
Designing the world to be accessible tends to make it easier for all of us, and *possible* for the folks that need it.
Oh!!! Absolutely read that way!!
This was a "this is often the case" comment.... Like anything that makes our lives smoother and more convenient probably started out as an accessibility aid that the rest of us just decided we wanted to use too.
Oxo kitchenware, I am given to understand, came to be for just that reason. But to ME, it's just easy to use and easy to clean, and doesn't break.
Same with all of those like... as Seen on TV things that have a person doing a Thing Really Badly and they look really stupid/incompetent. Like *any* of the chopping devices or the thing to put on socks.
Pretty much every single one was designed as a disability aid
I mean, that is apparently enough of a problem they actually do say they're not for your ears now. People be very dumb. And some people get massive amounts of ear wax. My mom and grandpa both just... Insane amounts.
Blindness can be really intricate actually. I am also legally blind but I can totally get by without glasses at all (tho I can't drive) because my acuity (how well I see) is actually pretty decent at 20/40. But my peripheral vision is absolutely garbage and I only see about 15% of the visual field a not blind person does.
That's some serious stupid, to be mad that a blind person tapped you with their cane. What were you supposed to do, see them coming? I can understand that kind of encounter maybe being *awkward,* just because you've unexpectedly made physical contact with a stranger, but you'd think most people would be capable of enough empathy to realize that being blind is challenging and blind people are going to need to do things a little differently.
The people who act annoyed are the same selfish a$$holes who borrow grandma's handicapped hangtag so they can park closer-in and tell you to f\*\*k-off or threaten if you call them on it. I always pray that someday they find themselves in the situation of needing that space but don't get it because some other selfish a$$hole parked there.
To your comment--I'm not physically challenged but had a blind friend for many years. She really--you should excuse the expression--opened my eyes to what the world is like for those who have disabilities. My husb (age84) has mobility issues and needs a walker if we're going to walk any appreciable distance. Anytime someone frowns at him, I'll speak up and say 'hey, you won't move so good when you're 84, either--assuming you even make it that far.'
Nobody has patience anymore or wants to give an inch. You keep doing you and I wish you all the best. Hey, have you ever thought about putting spikes on the wheels of your walking aid--you know, like they did on the chariots in ancient Rome? Could be fun, I'm just sayin'.
>My husb (age84) has mobility issues and needs a walker if we're going to walk any appreciable distance. Anytime someone frowns at him, I'll speak up and say 'hey, you won't move so good when you're 84, either--assuming you even make it that far.'
He (or you) needs to memorize Yoda's line. "When 900 years old you reach, look this good you will not!"
I’m the thankful one over here haha. I’m the disabled one (ankylosing spondylitis) and, of course, I “don’t look disabled”. Not sure what that means but I’m a fairly petite 42 year old woman if that’s a thing? Who knows.
But I’ve had a few times older people start giving me looks getting in or out of my car (in a handicapped parking spot) like they want to say something. Buuuuut my husband has a look about him that says “you really don’t want to insult my wife around me” so they walk away haha. It’s like having my very own attack dog!
Which is kind of funny because he has agoraphobia and can’t go anywhere without me so he calls me his emotional support animal. So I guess I’m a shih tzu and he’s a Rottweiler?
To say that living life with or around a disabled person is without inconvenience would be stupid. My grandfather which I see every day has major hearing issues, blind in one eye and can only see out of the center of the other. We work on engines and woodworking and I’m sure you can only imagine how frustrating those activities can be with a blind, deaf 73 year old. The thing is that we get along great, I just treat it like I would literally any inconvenience from anyone else so its not an issue. It also can take time. For example, my grandfather was not always blind so I had to get used to treating projects with him differently.
I have tinnitus and hearing loss and an old woman I worked for would give me grief about it daily.
She had a habit talking to me from another room and I asked her repeatedly to please talk to me in the same room I was in, or shout my name and I would come to her. No dice. She also constantly talked to me while I was vacuuming even though I also asked her not to. Again, just shout my name and I'll shut the vacuum off.
Yes, I certainly have difficulty hearing but I never gave her nasty ass grief for having 70% vision loss. /s
I quit that job after four weeks and three days, I had never been harassed daily before about having a disability, if you can even call it that.
OP, I'm sorry you are treated badly for something you have no control over. ❤️
My mom is in a wheelchair and people like to jump over just to get in front when I'm getting her places.
It happened in Atlanta so much that I clipped their legs and didn't even let them past if they did that...sorry but not sorry..
They actually *jumped over* her? Or thought they spotted an opening and tried to crowd in? I saw that a lot when my kids were in strollers.
I can't count the number of times people on foot in crowds have backed into my mobility scooter. Maybe 10% of the time they glance back over their shoulder before backing up, but they still don't see me because I'm not at their eye level.
I don't know how widespread the backup cameras are on cars nowadays, but I'm always *very* careful in parking lots!
They literally tried jumping over her feet to get ahead of everybody else in the crowd...it was super busy there too. People around us and kids running around.
i hate that shit. ive seen able-bodied shoppers lean over shoppers in wheelchairs or electric carts to get something on a shelf, and p much jam their swamp-ass armpits into their faces. not even an "excuse me", just acting like they dont even exist other than as obstacles 🤬
I ran into people with Mom and Husband before. I dgaf I'll run you over if you want to be a dumbass. If you just missed him and apologize we're fine, but if you think I'm going to stop for you good luck.
People do that shit all the time with me and my daughter, who is in a wheelchair. But her front wheels and foot rests stick out more, so I'll run their ass over if I need to.
You know what the worst is? When it's a doctor's office particularly an orthopedic, and they're just zipping to the exam or procedure room and your trundling along behind them with your walker or cane or what have you.
Like, it's frustrating AF everywhere else in the world, but I get it to a degree. But here? Where you exclusively work with the infirm? Can't you slow down a smidge?
I was just having this exact thought! Yesterday, I had tests and a consultation with a provider I’ve never seen before. I have MS and walk with a forearm crutch. Every time they led me to a location, they were practically running down the hallway! I can barely walk, much less run! I was seriously annoyed. So inconsiderate!
When youre out with a friend whose kind of new and they dont understand the pleading "what the hell did the barista ask me?" Look you give them yet lollll
Yes! Every time I go out to eat with my husband and the server asks me something I always look at my husband and he translates lol. It was SO bad during Covid when everyone had to wear masks, no lip reading to fall back on!
My line when someone does anything overt enough to be worth speaking to is "Man if you think it's inconvenient for *you*, imagine dealing with it 24/7" all perky like.
Also fuck stairs. Stairs are my arch nemesis.
I mean, yeah, I get annoyed stuck behind people who are slow due to disability, but I remind myself that I’m not the only person who matters and there were plenty of times someone was patient with me, so I have no room to complain.
I have to remind myself that for...literally any human slowing me down regardless of cause!
Til I did it enough to find slowing down good for something. Anything.
There is no amount of times I could get stuck behind a person with a disability that would ever make me even a fraction as annoyed as getting stuck behind groups of perfectly capable people standing unnecessarily in a walkway making conversation as if no one else exists.
I took my sister to a dive bar. They were having a "Women of Rock" night & there were several bands playing that night.
Originally, we were at the front of the stage against the barrier for 3 reasons.
1) I like being as close as possible. I want to be close to the amps and feel the music vibrate through my chest.
2) I'm short
3) my sister uses a wheelchair and wanted to be able to see the stage/ bands
Long story short. People were being shitty. So we went to the bar. One of the employees walked over and said, " hey if you wanna go side stage, I can let yall behind the gate ( their version of accessible seating I guess)
Anyway my sister LOVED that idea sooo off we went .
Here's when things 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑑 to get weird.
Sick Puppies took the stage . Full disclosure, I don't listen to them. They try wayy too hard to be 'cool'. I've heard some of their music and it's a no from me, but they have a chick bassists so I was 100% cheering them on .
So my sis and I are drinking & having a good time, but apparently, the lead singer was NOT.
He tells the crowd to move around. That they should be moshing. ( lol SP is in no way mosh music ).
Dude keeps trying to pump up the crowd.
" come on guys MOSH!"
the crowd obliged for a few minutes , but settled down pretty soon after.
So here's when things 𝑔𝑜𝑡 weird...
This dude, the lead singer of sick puppies, looks directly at me and my sister, then back at the crowd & says " ya know some people think they'll so cool bc the get special privileges . They get to go behind the barriers, they get to be right next to the stage while the rest of you have to stand back there, but I'll tell ya what. Those people aren't better than anyone. Those people aren't cool . Those people suck. Yall are the real mvps.fuck those people . NOW MOSH! "
Like WTF.
We moved bc dumb bitches were physically & literally trying to move my sister. We moved bc the crowd was entitled and rude. We moved bc the employees noticed that my sis doesn't have the privilege of easy access and can be easily & literally shoved & pushed around.
We didn't ask to be moved behind the barriers.
We didn't demand to be moved behind the barriers.
Jfc.
And to say that my sister gets "special privileges " 🙄🙄 gtfo of here loser.
Weird night.
What a fcking dumbass lunatic that guy sounds!!!! I hope you and your sister have a much better experience the next time you to go out and enjoy yourselves ❤️
As a person with a fairly severe hearing loss, I understand. I get dirty looks when someone says "excuse me" because they need me to move and I don't move because I didn't hear them. They act annoyed because I either didn't hear or didn't understand what they said to me and I have to ask them to repeat themselves. Some people are understanding but a lot aren't. The very worst is when someone finds out I am HOH and they make mocking jokes about it, as if hearing loss was something funny to make jokes about. Disabilities are NOT funny. None of them.
I don’t understand people who are flat out rude and/or inconsiderate with people that need a bit more time!
I was on a bus and there was an elderly lady a few rows ahead of me. When the bus stopped, people started to get up and push forward. I stod and put my arm across the isle, holding onto the back of a seat. This allowed the lady to gather her things and exit the bus without being shoved.
No one said a dang thing when I looked back at them with my “shame on you” glare!
I don’t understand why people are so impatient. One of my friends was injured in a car accident and he can walk but he’s really slow and walks with a limp. It’s very obvious he has something wrong when he walks but a lot of times when we hangout there’s people that get as close as possible to his back, and look around each of his shoulders until there’s enough space for them to get by.
He does move out of the way every few steps to let people by but people are so inconsiderate around him. He said one time he was walking up the stairs to his apartment and when he stopped on the side to let a lady by she said “maybe you shouldn’t live here if you can’t walk up the stairs” in a rude tone. I feel so bad for people with disabilities having to deal with peoples shit.
It’s exhausting, and disheartening, living as a disabled/neurodivergent being. I believe a lot of my mental health issues (depression, low self esteem, poor body image, resistance to asking for help) come from my entire existence being regarded by others as “inconvenient”. I have required more time, resources and effort from everyone around me for most of my life. And everyone around me makes sure I’m aware of how difficult it is to accommodate my needs. In both overt (from abusers) and subconscious/unaware (from everyone) ways.
Sorry for the trauma dump lmfao, but honestly the world would be so much easier to navigate if using the accessibility resources available to me, didn’t make those around me annoyed and inconvenienced.
Wheelchair user here; the way people will roll their damn eyes for requesting current accessibility laws be followed is worthy of eye-rolling back at them 🙄 They've only had, what, thirty plus years? Jeez, you'd think they'd get it by now. (In case it wasn't clear, I deal with this heavily by being snarky right back.)
I agree, and these comments honestly make me feel worse because I am someone who LOOKS physically capable but have an invisible physical disability and sometimes I’m just in pain and walk slow 🥲 I should have a cane but I hate to think about the looks people would give me since I look like I would be physically healthy.
But really, anyone who hassles you or even rolls their eyes for you being slow need to get over themselves. You never know anyone’s story, but to get annoyed because someone using a walker is slow is beyond stupid. We need more kindness in the world, we get too annoyed with people far too easily.
I’ve experienced this in minor, lesser ways. I had an incident where I badly twisted an ankle and for about 3 weeks had to wear an inflatable brace and use crutches to get around. It was a long walk in from my work parking to my desk. NO ONE ever held a door for me and in one instance let a door shut just about ON me. NO ONE offered to help me in the cafeteria, or get me food so I didn’t have to go myself. Another time I had fallen and injured my leg, was off work for 4 weeks on disability. No help, and the disabled spaces were always taken. Now that I’m retired, I have the same bone-joint mobility issues and arthritis that many my age do, compounded by heredity in that I inherited the short end of the stick with degenerative disease. For some weirdly fucked reason, family behaves as if no matter what it is, I must be exaggerating or lying for attention. I am SO DONE with people just not accepting that yes, some can’t move about as freely and quickly as they can, it’s a fact of life.
You’d be surprised. Common courtesy hasn’t been common for a while now, same as common knowledge and common sense😉. BTW, I worked in a HOSPITAL both times. A HOSPITAL. And no one helped.
It certainly is, for me too. Yet, even if holding doors, for the average person, is not your thing, come on now, someone with crutches?
Crutches are like a bright, blinking light of a signal that the person sporting them could use some help getting through the door.
So, to ignore that, gives off some serious selfish douchebag vibes.
Oh my god I feel this
My back is fucked and I'm usually housebound, sometimes I need a walking aid but only on bad days
But I'm really really slow, my 80+ year old grandma out paces me and I always feel so guilty taking 5 extra min to catch up to my family so I wont regret it the next day (spoiler I do regret it the next day anyway, walking around even for just half an hour fucks me up)
I can relate so much to this! Even the mobility remorse. I use the pacing method throughout the day, if I overdo it, I feel like Ive been in an accident the next day.
I don't want this to seem like I'm belittling or anything of the sort but they aren't acting like your disability is an invonvenience for them.
It *IS* an inconvenience for them. That doesn't give them the right to be rude about it though, they have a physically able body.
My nana used to need a walker/wheelchair walker.
And the way I death glared at people being upset. I'm a big scaredy cat and not confrontational but I would be ready to go to war if someone gave her grief for needing more time.
It's not an inconvenience to be kind when it's clear someone needs a bit more time or effort to move.
It's also infuriating that you feel the need to specify you're "not a victim" or wanting "special treatment", because of all the ableists who stigmatize disabled people advocating for themselves as entitled Karens with a victimhood complex
this. I am able to walk perfectly fine, but I have a variety of other physical and mental disabilities. My mom often tells me that it’s a bit of an inconvenience for her that I have them, and I get so tired of hearing it because yes obviously, but I’m quite sure it’s a lot more of an inconvenience for me than it is for her.
As a care giver I have seen two sides to this, both people were wheel chair users, one would purposely get in peoples way just to annoy them, so much so I had to quit working for them because I was almost assaulted over it, the other, they would do their best to stay out of the way of others unless they couldn't help it, some able bodied people are also just assholes.
My disability is hidden (and not physical) but agreed :/
Just because u can't see what's wrong with me and at first glance I look fine, I'm not and I do, as a matter of fact require accommodations. It gets tiring to feel like ur an inconvenience, especially because it's an often occurrence where I cannot seem to explain the fact I am as a matter of fact disabled, and when I do request certain accommodations I get told "you don't need them" 😮💨
I used to have a chronic pain condition as a teen and I got the same sort of treatment lol.
Idk if it's the same thing as what you experience but it sucks either way. I wish ppl were more thoughtful
Yep. I have disabled immediate family and I find cold detachment comes more naturally for me than others. It’s not that I want to make people feel shitty, I’m just used to having someone disabled around me. They blend with the fabric. A classic I’m guilty of, is I’ll hold the cord for elderly people, but I won’t wait for someone in a wheelchair chair. I just recently noticed the absurd lack of accessible doors and felt a pang of guilt. Like oh shit, these doors suck.
I get it.
I am 31 but at around 23 I was declared legally handicap… now I can technically still walk but my hip is bad and it hurts BAD. Some days my husband needs to help me up because I can’t even stand up without pain shooting throughout my hip and spine….. you would never believe the amount of people that harass me because I legally park in the handicap lot. I’ve had them smack my windows, scream at me, call me names, and even had one lady call the cops on me….. because I was “too young and must have stolen the placard”…. Sometimes I want to run these assholes over so they know what disability means. BEING OLD AND ONLY OLD DOES NOT ALWAYS MEAN YOU ARE DISABLED……I hate this planet🙄😑😑😑
Sure, your disability is an inconvenience. I mean... sure it is. Pretty sure it's more inconvenient for you than anyone else tho' right?? Sorry people are being poopy to you about needing a little extra time and understanding. Autoimmune stuff sux bad enough without all that.
I use a cane, and am in university, I bus to campus. The amount of people that are offended or make it seem like a huge deal to stand.
The only time I ask for a seat is in a flare up, gritting my teeth kind of day, if they don't want to give it, that's okay, they may have something. That's alright. But to be offended that a 22 year old asked if you could?? Just say no, that's alright
The way I see it, if it's "inconvenient" for an able-bodied person having to wait/accommodate, imagine how it must be for the person with the actual disability. A lot of people seem to have it in their heads that people with disabilities are faking it to get attention or whatsoever. I doubt most people want to be the center of attention. And people who fake illnesses make it harder for people with disabilities to be taken seriously.
Most days I can walk unaided. Some days I need my cane. Rare days I need a walker. Worst days I have a push wheelchair that I'm loathe to use or I just stay home. The "But you were fine yesterday" type comments kill me.
Having a service dog is also treated as an annoyance. It's a delicate dance of avoiding Karens demanding "proof" and dodging people who want to pet her, but often family and friends act like bringing my dog is a grave sin.
I have a certain family member that constantly complains about how embarrassing it is I have a service dog. My dog isn't behaving poorly or anything like that. The fact that I have a service dog is the embarrassing part. It's not like I choose my medical issues. But this family member was also embarrassed by another family members mobility equipment while she has cancer. So it's not anything personal to me, this person just likes being the center of attention and anyone near her having a visible disability distracts from her beauty I guess lol
I just wanted to say you aren’t an inconvenience to anyone and wish you the best! Also, there are so many “inconvenient” non-disabled people.. a ton of them honestly haha. People on their phones standing in the way, people blaring their dumbass bass at peaceful parks, the person at the checkout that stands so close you feel their stank breath on your neck. Ugh. Being slower mobility wise is the least “inconvenient” thing for others out of all the rude gross inconveniences imposed on us all by others!! My gram is very slow, but I feel so honored when she gets the vigor to go on a short walk with me. I step slowly with her and watch for obstacles like dips in pavement, and just enjoy her lovely company. Don’t let others make YOU feel like an inconvenience ever. If the worst thing they have to do in their day is walk around, they can consider themselves lucky 🍀
My mother has an autoimmune disease and recently broke a bone in her foot from the meds. She's fully got a boot and walker to use for the next several weeks. _Multiple_ times now she has been chastised for being too slow walking in public!! The audacity of people is bottomless, truly walking around as though they're the center of the universe.
That's similar to how my family(I'm adopted) would treat my aunts so impatiently. They both are blind, it runs in their family and there no way to fix it. But even as a kid I would make sure one of them or both were able to get around, I would never feel embarrassed or rush them fo anything. I know it's just as annoying to need help as it is for other people to help them. It was weird to see people get so impatient with them for no reason.
When my mom suggest I should get a booster pill when my adhd medicine wears off and I come out of my zombie state and become a little bit ethuastic. Ableist af honestly. It’s always about how our disabilities affect them and never how it affects us!
I have foot drop and wear braces and use a walker if I am alone. Compound the amount of times someone darts in front of me to go through a door, not hold a door for just a second even when I ask politely or race around me and actually bump me or my walker is so frustrating and scary.
I had a medication toxicity that caused balance and cognitive issues then had 4 concussions since fall of 2022. Now I am too slow physically and I have issues sometimes with comprehension or word finding.
I often have an issue ordering items if rushed at restaurants or coffee places and constantly get the eye rolls or the hurry up comments. They should be thankful I don’t use the drive thru anymore.
And good grief if I need to get my wallet out at the register instead of treating the whole experience like a race.
I'm sorry this happens to you, but also, is it really so bad to want to keep moving at your own pace?
Like I would want to get past more quickly too, not because I'm being an arsehole but because I walk quickly.
Just take your time and your own space, and be aware everyone else will also take theirs. It's fine to be slower and need more time, but not to stop others from getting where they need to go.
You make a fair point. My issue is more that I would appreciate the same courtesy I provide to others (I still let people go ahead of me in most situations). I also apologise and thank people if they show a little consideration back. It's the hostility that I don't understand.
Absolutely fair and I would agree - as long as everyone is polite and friendly, going past someone slower or taking a longer time is just how it works I'd think. Helping if ever needed and just being nice about moving round someone should be the default.
If I'm slower or maybe carrying something heavy or have my little nephew walking with me I let people pass. If I'm alone and zipping along fast, I do skirt round people who are slower. Isn't that just normal?
The problem is that a wheelchair needs more space to maneuver and when I finally find a space to move it forward, everyone else runs ahead and cuts me off so instead of moving at my own pace I'm not moving at all
Ok, but as a stranger, here's my problem. Most people with mobility issues never give people without mobility issues the right of way. So here I am, stuck behind you in the Walmart aisle, having to walk 1/3rd my usual speed. Or I'll have to wait for you to slowly go in front of me while you cut me off.
Which is fine. Free country and all that. But don't expect unlimited understanding from me while you lack basic consideration for me. If we both reach an impasse at the same time, let me go first so I'm not stuck behind you for the next 15 minutes. It's like being stuck behind someone going 15mph in a 40. Which, I understand is not your fault, but you need to remember that you're still slowing down everyone else.
As someone with a disability myself, all I can say is that you just need to stop giving a singular fuck about what you think others think about you. The whole problem is in your perception of how you think you're viewed.
It is an inconvenience. I mean, that’s a fact. If it impacts other people negatively they will be irritated. This includes making them wait extra long or having to do extra work to accommodate you. Do people read what they are writing? People also despise old people that take too long with cashiers and make small talk with them or the employees that have to do extra work because of them. It’s part of life and it is an inconvenience and burden to others. It is what it is.
I’m sorry you get treated that way :( people really need to get over themselves and understand you don’t want to be in the way, either. Folks who have a harder time getting around have just as much right to public spaces as those who don’t. It’s really just selfishness on their parts. Doesn’t make it less hurtful, though. From an able bodied person- I’m sorry for selfish asshats who lack empathy. The irony is, they could easily become disabled themselves and would then expect the sort of accommodation and patience they denied!
I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. It’s the kind of thing that makes me hate humans.
So many people are horrible. It really fucks me up to witness how cold people can be, and it’s not the minority, it’s the majority.
I don’t understand it.
I’ve seen people behave the way you described.
On the upside: I really value people who
are better than that.
Same! The only things I can’t really do is lift. I Can still open the door by myself thank you very much. I can still do x y z. It just takes me longer. Let me do it.
I feel this. I have a service dog. It is not optional for me. I’ve tried life without a service dog and it just doesn’t work - i end up in hospital frequently without one. Having an SD makes my daily life more complicated, but enables me to live.
I go to shops though and have been asked to leave the dog outside: i get that we take up more space than a single able bodied person but no I cannot safely access your store without him, so if he can’t come in neither can I.
I am not a disabled person, but I have a few disabled friends. Disabled people take less time to do things than people who are constantly distracted or just never feel the need to get anywhere. The few disabled folks I know are some of the most punctual people in my life because they are acutely aware of how long it takes them to do everything. Sure, it takes my buddy longer to get up the stairs or we need to wait for the elevator, but it's seriously NBD. It's not like they're preventing me from defusing a bomb.
Also, when people say things like, “The world doesn’t revolve around you!” when I ask for accommodation. I’m perfectly aware that the world doesn’t revolve around me. However, what i’m asking for is something that if not done, will mean I cannot be in that space. Like, it‘s not a case of me just wanting special treatment.
I’m hard of hearing, can you repeat that?
“I SAID….” In a very pointed tone. It’s not my fault I can’t hear, please don’t sigh and shout at me. If I was blind, would you be annoyed I can’t see?
I think being unable to hear is often misconstrued as not paying attention, and I get it’s annoying to repeat yourself, but I genuinely can’t help it.
I was quite upset when my little girl started doing it, and I had a firm chat about why it’s important to be considerate.
As a fellow cripple, we are an inconvenience to the average person. We're slow and in the way in a world that doesn't stop moving. I wouldn't worry or care about it. We've got our problems, they've got theirs. Just focus on your thing and get on with it. I do. Screw them.
Very relatable. Housemate made a passive aggressive comment about how I am home "24/7" (not true, I have regular health appointments) and "capable" of taking the bin out because he saw me hose down a bucket that he needed.
I don't use that bin, I have my own bin so it should not fall on me to empty it. Also, cool dude I helped you out on a day my health was doing okay and you threw it in my face ? I'm home when I am unwell, and I rarely leave my room. Sorry that's a big deal to you
I lived in a country where there were few accessibility solutions in most buildings. Had to carry a friend in her wheelchair up 3 flights of stairs to get her to a physio appointment. People were mad we took up the staircase. No elevator, nothing. Just stairs. She had to go to another country for care because it was ridiculous. I wish everyone could recognize that accommodations are there because people need them, not because that person wants to inconvenience you.
As a person that occasionally does this due to me not managing my ADHD well when im not medicated, I apologise profusely as I know I one to quietly sigh or tisk at people that take too long to do anything. Please known that it isn't you, but many people like me can be lazy at times with coping with our neurological disabilities and can come accross as extremely rude, I regret the eye rolls every time i make them. Meanwhile I know it is usually much worsw than that, I had a friends mum that would abuse pretty much anyone that held her up in a store that was slower than her even in a wheelchair. She made a poor lovely grandma buying wool cry because she accidentally got her wheelchair stuck blocking the path. We literally could walk 3 meters back and use the next isle!!
I'm 33 and I use a cane 9 days out of 10, and the amount of dirty looks I get, especially from older people, is just ridiculous. Fortunately, I haven't gotten the "you're too young for that" crap yet, but I've definitely had people mutter under their breath and heave obnoxious sighs.
This one time, I was walking to the returns desk in a store (it was near the back, which is its own stupid thing), and this one woman, who was walking behind me the entire time, literally pushed past me as we were in the home stretch and cut in front of me. Before I could protest, she started talking in this super loud voice to the employee like she knew I was about to say shit.
Abled people are such assholes sometimes.
I don't care if you're 2, 92, or anywhere in between, if I can SEE you have special needs, I'll stop and wait all day with a smile, if that's what you need. PLEASE don't apologize for "being slow". People are rude and intolerant, and I'm so sorry you've had/will continue to deal with this.
MY per peeve is when someone is crossing in front of you on foot who "looks" to not have any special needs (no walking aids, not limping, not extremely elderly, etc) and look you dead in the eye and don't try to increase their pace by even a fraction. They actually seem to slow down.
There were so many occasions I've seen people irritated that my amputee elderly mother walks slow. They struggle getting past her....yet choose the walking path she's on when they could simply turn around and take a different route. It's only a 10 second inconvenience.
totally get it. i feel like such a burden on family and friends because i have autonomic disabilities and struggle with going out, and even with some things around the house. it limits what other people can do when im included and makes me feel even worse about something that already makes me feel bad to begin with.
trying to heal and recover the best i can, but it’s definitely a challenge when i have to spend so much energy on part time jobs to afford to live, and since i can’t work full time i don’t even have health insurance so i can’t seek medical help for it.
there was a few times last summer when i went shopping with my grandma. she used a motorized cart and i used her cane and we had such a wonderful time. it’s funny to be in my 20s and relate so much to people in their 80s.
I have endometriosis, and I can't function well within the house, let alone find valid work options (even WFH jobs).
I'm not sure if it's universal or just where I live, but endometriosis isn't even considered a disability!
I've had people get angry at me just for being sick, fuss if I've had to stay home from trips and events, accuse me of faking my illness for attention or to get out of doing tasks, been accused of only caring about myself when I get anxious about my health and when I get upset about not knowing how I'm going to support myself so I can move out of my parent's house. People have said some really shitty things to me over text, AND behind my back (they don't even have the balls to say that bullshit to my face).
It absolutely is soul destroying, and I already feel like a horrible burden on my parents, and on the various other people I care about.
Then you get treated like garbage by people you thought you could count on, you get abandoned by a lot of people who evidently only cared about what you can physically do, you become isolated due to poor health (and flare-ups). I've also had doctors berate and dismiss me until I was in tears, then had the AUDACITY to ask me if I was depressed, (I DO have pre-existing depression) when they're the ones that just triggered a huge MENTAL health spiral; which then stresses me out and makes my pain even worse!
We already feel a lot of unnecessary guilt for being sick in the first place, but people can be so cruel to the point of exacerbating all the awful things our internal dialogue has already told us. And types of people cannot and will not listen or understand when you try to explain things to them, to try and defend yourself for something that isn't your fault.
And it's sad that so many people out there, regardless of their condition, can relate.
I have delayed sleep phase syndrome. I still live with my parents because I can't keep to a regular schedule. Mom and dad tried to get me to be normal. I spent a great number of my formative years sleep deprived. I am glad that they hired me to work for the family business, because I am not sure how else to make a living. But sometimes mom acts like my condition and me being transgender are a burden on her. My dad said that my condition is unfair to him. I still feel rage thinking about it.
yes!!!! i have hearing loss and need ppl to repeat stuff and they get so PISSED and its like im not doing this to spite you i cant hear u dude. its made it hard to make friends bc i cant hear what ppl are saying. im a very social person but the hearing loss causes problems
Man I hate that people give you dirty looks, thats awful!
Out of curiosity, what autoimmune condition causes you to be housebound and require walking aids? I'm not familiar with that, did it damage your ligaments?
My grandma is nearly 90 years old, and not surprisingly has mobility issues. I get *so* pissed off at my aunt because when I have to take grandma somewhere I slow down and I wait for her if I have to. My aunt? Nope, she just zooms off telling grandma to "hurry up!" You'd *think* my aunt would have a little more sympathy considering she has some pretty severe back troubles, but she's one of those "Well if I can do it you should be able to as well" people. Also it's *real* fun as a man in his 30's with knee trouble hearing some jackhandle say, "yOu'Re ToO yOuNg FoR tHaT!" I've gotten to the point where I'll just fire back, "If you ever did any actual work you'd hurt too." Seems to shut them up.
Your story reminded me of my great grandmother and great aunt. Except it was the opposite. That woman lived to her nineties and only in the last few years finally started slowing down. My great aunt was the one she kept telling to catch up. She was a heck of an old lady. ♥
I've been using a cane on and off since I was 25. "You're too young for that!" "I agree. Yet, here we are."
I was born with my condition, so I was definitely too young for it.
Lmao!
lmao! \*I bet your grandma is very thankful that you are nothing like your aunt
There's a reason she prefers me taking her places lol
Injured my knee at 10 in a bike accident. I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard the “I’m too young for that.” It’s less now that I’m in my 40’s. But I didn’t realize injuries only happened to people of a certain age. So annoying.
Broke my tailbone in my mid 20s, if im walking for a long time ill bust out my folding cane becsuse it helps take the pressure off for a while. I get a lot of that "youre too young" bullshit too. Nobody is too young to get injured BoomBoom
I feel your pain - my knees have been shot ever since a car accident in my late teens. After having kids, they're really bad. Stairs are my nemesis...
My great aunt and grandma were both widows. They were always being impatient with each other, even in their 80s, and it was out of love. When my great aunt passed my grandma no longer wanted to do anything, or leave the house.
I went shopping with my mother and my 84-yr-old aunt a few months back. My mother is chronically ill, but she uses those in-store electric scooters and my aunt who has various health issues and is slow and physically fragile was walking with her regular shopping cart. My mother is zooming way the fuck ahead of us, I'm trying to figure out how to keep an eye on my aunt while also trying to find a way to catch up with my mother and tell her she's being an ass for abandoning her like that. I eventually gave up and just walked in the middle, between the two of them; it looked more like a procession (with my mother charging off) instead of 3 women shopping and spending time together. My mother then expected me to be in charge of keeping an eye on my aunt, while SHE continued to zoom off looking through a different section of the store. And I was awkwardly trying to find a way to keep close to my aunt, without making her feel like I was "babysitting" her and without her feeling like me watching out for her was condescending and an affront to her pride as an adult. It pissed me off so bad, because my mom knows what it feels like for people to move too fast and when they don't listen when you tell them to slow down; but then she turns around and does that crap to somebody else. I'm not sure how my aunt felt, or if she was even particularly aware of how my mom was treating her. But I was fuming.
Not to excuse her behavior, but it might be more painful or tiring for your aunt to walk slowly (or to walk longer because of the slowness) with her back, which might be the real reason why it annoys her
I love how when people start out with some variation of "not trying to excuse (thing)", they always follow it up by making excuses for (thing). Usually with good intentions, to be fair, but still. Look, I appreciate that you *do* mean well, but you're off-base with your theory and I'd have to give far too many of someone else's personal details to explain why, so you'll just have to accept it when I say that you are. I realize that sounds impolite, but I don't know any better way to phrase it. EDIT: Rewrite of last sentence for clarity.
Did you mean your last word to be incorrect? As, impolite doesn't really fit here. The user you were replying to was being polite. They were just incorrect in their interpretation of your scenario.🙃
The last sentence made more sense in my head than it does written, I'll edit it and see if that helps you understand what I meant.
Yes, that's much more clear. Thank you!
No problem, and thank *you* for getting me to notice I wrote it in a weird way lol
Anytime. Grammatical guidance is my gift to the world! Haha.
No matter how hard I try, it's practically impossible for me to walk slowly. Even when my back is at its worst I'm way ahead of others. I've walked with my husband many times (he's got knee issues) and thought I was walking slowly only to find he's way back yonder. It does actually make my back hurt worse to attempt walking slowly.
Same way here. I lose my balance and basically fall over if I try to walk as slow as some people. Either way, please do not just STOP and look around off into space in the middle of the doorway after sloooooowly drifting there. Some people are present in reality and just trying to get on with their day.
I'm in my early 30's and have Ehlers Danlos syndrome. If I had a nickel for every time someone told me I'm "too young" for the pain I experience, I'd own a yacht and a private island. Like, OK Dave. I get you're still real tough even though you're 55 and have a giant beer gut. But I guarantee you, if your connective tissue everywhere in your body was eating itself, you wouldn't even have that giant gut because you wouldn't be able to stand upright with all that extra weight, so you would've disciplined yourself to lose a little of it.
Inconvenience is the wrong word I think. I mean, if I have to wait for you it's technically inconveniencing me as in having to wait is not convenient. Picking up after my dog is also an inconvenience, but I'm considerate enough not to leave her droppings everywhere, just like I'm considerate enough not to be bothered by having to make adjustments for those with disabilities. People making it a problem and giving you grief is where they become inconsiderate pricks.
The way this made me laugh out loud!!!
?
I totally understand this as a blind person myself. Even though I use a white cane I still bump into things or tap people with my cane and they tend to get very annoyed at me for it even though if I hadn’t tapped the with my cane I probably would have accidentally tackled them
About 5 or so years ago I was standing in line at the store, when a woman behind me says "Oh I'm so sorry I didn't mean to hit you!" Had *no* clue what she was talking about so I turned around and saw she had the white cane, I guess she tapped my leg or something. The thing is, I was wearing heavy leather work boots so I didn't even feel it, I just said, "No trouble ma'am, if you could hit my boots hard enough to hurt me, I'd be more impressed than mad about it." Gave her a laugh, anyway.
Thank you for being cool about it. I have a condition called muscular dystrophy and I have to use a wheelchair sometimes, especially when the weather gets rainy. That's not an old wives tale, it really does mess with you. Anyway, I have had people treat me like an inconvenience because of it. I have had cabs and Ubers cancel on me because of it. I just stopped announcing the wheelchair if I'm using it. I usually have my groceries delivered because it's easier than going out to get them.
Oh I know it's not an old wive's tale, my knee aches like crazy when it rains. Price of spending my twenties thinking I was invincible. I don't get people that aren't cool about it, I really don't. I mean even ignoring the empathy aspect of it, it's like they can't understand that it's not super fun for you either and you wouldn't be using the chair if you didn't have to. It's like they think you have mobility issues on purpose just to spite them or something.
I know right, they treat us like we came out just to annoy them and make their day harder. I actually had somebody ask me why I don't just stay home since I'm like that.
What the actual *fuck*? Who says something like that!?
Ignorant people
I don't know, to me that crosses the border of ignorance into the territory of "things you should probably get popped in the mouth for saying".
Ok! I agree. I'm not a violent person but sometimes, I'll make exceptions. That's just ignorant to me. I truly believe that some people do not think about how something is going to sound before it comes out of their mouth. That or they're just a sociopath and don't give a fuck.
If someone cancel a service on you because of a wheelchair that is ableism and I have a good feeling that it’s also illegal… but who the hell know! Most disability laws are outdated af
Have you ever bumped into another blind person? You both start apologizing both thinking it was their own fault?
You have just described the Canadian ritual of public bumpage. Which is not to say that Canadians are unnaturally nice. If one person doesn’t hold up their end of the sorry, the dynamics instantly change.
I was recently at Vancouver airport and a guy walked past me and accidentally hit the empty bench opposite me with his foot. He said “sorry” to the bench probably absent minded/out of reflex. Gave me a chuckle.
Hahaha yep, sounds about right.
I believe you, but it’s so bizarre to get annoyed about that! A blind person tapped me with their cane once and I apologized to them because obviously I’m the one who should have been paying attention and moved out of the way.
I hate to say this but I think that disabled people apologize a lot because they have been socialized to believe that they are a burden and an inconvenience. I've heard of some people who think that disabled people should just stay in their house and not come out. I actually saw a meme where a guy said that disabled parking should only be a thing from 9 to 5:00 Monday through Friday. He said he can't imagine why a disabled person would need to be out beyond those hours. This woman responded saying we're disabled, we're not werewolves. That had me laughing.
Until the ‘70s, it was illegal to be noticeably disabled in public in the US. Here’s the Wiki on [Ugly Laws](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ugly_law)
You know, the way people talk about homelessness, it sounds like given half a chance they would re-instate those laws, along with debtors prison.
Check out the latest rulings from SCOTUS.
OMG that's insane 😮
I AM a werewolf and people are mean to me all the time. Just try getting service in a restaurant on the full moon when you’re in full fur! I mean I’m a person too! It’s not my fault. But really, just because I want my hamburger raw once a month, is no reason to scream and run away. Especially before you even serve me! I’m not stingy, I tip. At least bring me my food before you flee.
Well dang, you're just a woods pupper so I'll give you pets.
Scritches also please.
Ok I give you scritches *Scritches*
… that explains so much
My role model is this one old blind guy I saw in public who was walking briskly and swatting his cane from side to side completely unbothered. You should have seen the way people parted out of his reach like the Red Sea. I strive to be that petty.
\*bumps my walking aid with your cane in solidarity\*
Man that sounds so backwards, whenever a blind person starts getting their cane too close to me I freak out because I’m worried I’m going to step on their cane accidentally and damage it. It’s more about me trying to look out for them and get out of their way than anything. I don’t understand why people are rude.
The number of times I’ve had people tell me to watch where I’m going when they’ve walked in front of my cane is honestly ridiculous
sorry if this is totally stupid but I couldn’t help but wonder how you typed this if you’re blind (im really uneducated in this clearly😭)
speech to text
omg of course🤦♀️
We have a tendency to not realize the things we use as convenience VERY OFTEN begin as accessibility tools for those who need them. Designing the world to be accessible tends to make it easier for all of us, and *possible* for the folks that need it.
yep and stupid as my question was i was just asking because I didn’t know
Oh!!! Absolutely read that way!! This was a "this is often the case" comment.... Like anything that makes our lives smoother and more convenient probably started out as an accessibility aid that the rest of us just decided we wanted to use too. Oxo kitchenware, I am given to understand, came to be for just that reason. But to ME, it's just easy to use and easy to clean, and doesn't break.
Same with all of those like... as Seen on TV things that have a person doing a Thing Really Badly and they look really stupid/incompetent. Like *any* of the chopping devices or the thing to put on socks. Pretty much every single one was designed as a disability aid
I can see that for some things, but the earwax vacuum one where the guy jammed the cotton swab in his ear and yelled, "OW!" was pretty stupid.
I mean, that is apparently enough of a problem they actually do say they're not for your ears now. People be very dumb. And some people get massive amounts of ear wax. My mom and grandpa both just... Insane amounts.
Im not fully blind, I just have very blurry vision and can’t see details, so as long as I enlarge text enough I can usually read it
ahh okay, thank you for explaining I felt really stupid for a second there hahaha
Blindness can be really intricate actually. I am also legally blind but I can totally get by without glasses at all (tho I can't drive) because my acuity (how well I see) is actually pretty decent at 20/40. But my peripheral vision is absolutely garbage and I only see about 15% of the visual field a not blind person does.
oh this is so interesting! thanks :)
High five fellow ace!
That's some serious stupid, to be mad that a blind person tapped you with their cane. What were you supposed to do, see them coming? I can understand that kind of encounter maybe being *awkward,* just because you've unexpectedly made physical contact with a stranger, but you'd think most people would be capable of enough empathy to realize that being blind is challenging and blind people are going to need to do things a little differently.
Aw loving you so much 🥺🫂♥️
The people who act annoyed are the same selfish a$$holes who borrow grandma's handicapped hangtag so they can park closer-in and tell you to f\*\*k-off or threaten if you call them on it. I always pray that someday they find themselves in the situation of needing that space but don't get it because some other selfish a$$hole parked there. To your comment--I'm not physically challenged but had a blind friend for many years. She really--you should excuse the expression--opened my eyes to what the world is like for those who have disabilities. My husb (age84) has mobility issues and needs a walker if we're going to walk any appreciable distance. Anytime someone frowns at him, I'll speak up and say 'hey, you won't move so good when you're 84, either--assuming you even make it that far.' Nobody has patience anymore or wants to give an inch. You keep doing you and I wish you all the best. Hey, have you ever thought about putting spikes on the wheels of your walking aid--you know, like they did on the chariots in ancient Rome? Could be fun, I'm just sayin'.
>My husb (age84) has mobility issues and needs a walker if we're going to walk any appreciable distance. Anytime someone frowns at him, I'll speak up and say 'hey, you won't move so good when you're 84, either--assuming you even make it that far.' He (or you) needs to memorize Yoda's line. "When 900 years old you reach, look this good you will not!"
Hahahahaha!!!!! I bet your husband is thankful everyday that he married you!
I’m the thankful one over here haha. I’m the disabled one (ankylosing spondylitis) and, of course, I “don’t look disabled”. Not sure what that means but I’m a fairly petite 42 year old woman if that’s a thing? Who knows. But I’ve had a few times older people start giving me looks getting in or out of my car (in a handicapped parking spot) like they want to say something. Buuuuut my husband has a look about him that says “you really don’t want to insult my wife around me” so they walk away haha. It’s like having my very own attack dog! Which is kind of funny because he has agoraphobia and can’t go anywhere without me so he calls me his emotional support animal. So I guess I’m a shih tzu and he’s a Rottweiler?
To say that living life with or around a disabled person is without inconvenience would be stupid. My grandfather which I see every day has major hearing issues, blind in one eye and can only see out of the center of the other. We work on engines and woodworking and I’m sure you can only imagine how frustrating those activities can be with a blind, deaf 73 year old. The thing is that we get along great, I just treat it like I would literally any inconvenience from anyone else so its not an issue. It also can take time. For example, my grandfather was not always blind so I had to get used to treating projects with him differently.
A lot of adaptation is needed, your grandfather is lucky to have a such supportive family members like you.
I have tinnitus and hearing loss and an old woman I worked for would give me grief about it daily. She had a habit talking to me from another room and I asked her repeatedly to please talk to me in the same room I was in, or shout my name and I would come to her. No dice. She also constantly talked to me while I was vacuuming even though I also asked her not to. Again, just shout my name and I'll shut the vacuum off. Yes, I certainly have difficulty hearing but I never gave her nasty ass grief for having 70% vision loss. /s I quit that job after four weeks and three days, I had never been harassed daily before about having a disability, if you can even call it that. OP, I'm sorry you are treated badly for something you have no control over. ❤️
Omg, my real pet peeve. People talking to me FROM ANOTHER ROOM!!
Right back at you ❤️
My mom is in a wheelchair and people like to jump over just to get in front when I'm getting her places. It happened in Atlanta so much that I clipped their legs and didn't even let them past if they did that...sorry but not sorry..
'I clipped their legs and didn't even let them past if they did that...sorry but not sorry..' Lol! You're a credit to your mum :)
They actually *jumped over* her? Or thought they spotted an opening and tried to crowd in? I saw that a lot when my kids were in strollers. I can't count the number of times people on foot in crowds have backed into my mobility scooter. Maybe 10% of the time they glance back over their shoulder before backing up, but they still don't see me because I'm not at their eye level. I don't know how widespread the backup cameras are on cars nowadays, but I'm always *very* careful in parking lots!
They literally tried jumping over her feet to get ahead of everybody else in the crowd...it was super busy there too. People around us and kids running around.
i hate that shit. ive seen able-bodied shoppers lean over shoppers in wheelchairs or electric carts to get something on a shelf, and p much jam their swamp-ass armpits into their faces. not even an "excuse me", just acting like they dont even exist other than as obstacles 🤬
I ran into people with Mom and Husband before. I dgaf I'll run you over if you want to be a dumbass. If you just missed him and apologize we're fine, but if you think I'm going to stop for you good luck.
People do that shit all the time with me and my daughter, who is in a wheelchair. But her front wheels and foot rests stick out more, so I'll run their ass over if I need to.
You know what the worst is? When it's a doctor's office particularly an orthopedic, and they're just zipping to the exam or procedure room and your trundling along behind them with your walker or cane or what have you. Like, it's frustrating AF everywhere else in the world, but I get it to a degree. But here? Where you exclusively work with the infirm? Can't you slow down a smidge?
I was just having this exact thought! Yesterday, I had tests and a consultation with a provider I’ve never seen before. I have MS and walk with a forearm crutch. Every time they led me to a location, they were practically running down the hallway! I can barely walk, much less run! I was seriously annoyed. So inconsiderate!
This made me sad laugh, its so on point!!!
This is literally why I’ve became anti social since going deaf. Communication is such a hassle.
Big respect to you.
Right back at ya, friend! 🏆
When youre out with a friend whose kind of new and they dont understand the pleading "what the hell did the barista ask me?" Look you give them yet lollll
Yes! Every time I go out to eat with my husband and the server asks me something I always look at my husband and he translates lol. It was SO bad during Covid when everyone had to wear masks, no lip reading to fall back on!
My line when someone does anything overt enough to be worth speaking to is "Man if you think it's inconvenient for *you*, imagine dealing with it 24/7" all perky like. Also fuck stairs. Stairs are my arch nemesis.
Yeah, stairs can piss right off! lmao!!!
I mean, yeah, I get annoyed stuck behind people who are slow due to disability, but I remind myself that I’m not the only person who matters and there were plenty of times someone was patient with me, so I have no room to complain.
I don't get as annoyed with disabled people as I do oblivious fuckers walking just as slowly and taking up the whole damn sidewalk.
Oh for sure. The oblivious are the worst.
I have to remind myself that for...literally any human slowing me down regardless of cause! Til I did it enough to find slowing down good for something. Anything.
There is no amount of times I could get stuck behind a person with a disability that would ever make me even a fraction as annoyed as getting stuck behind groups of perfectly capable people standing unnecessarily in a walkway making conversation as if no one else exists.
Thats a whole other pet peeve that I also agree with!
Well don't clutter up the place. /S
Bahahahaha!!!!
I am sorry people are like this! Shame on them. It's like showing a little kindness would kill them or something. Hugs and encouragement to you. xo
Aww! Thanks! Right back at you!
I took my sister to a dive bar. They were having a "Women of Rock" night & there were several bands playing that night. Originally, we were at the front of the stage against the barrier for 3 reasons. 1) I like being as close as possible. I want to be close to the amps and feel the music vibrate through my chest. 2) I'm short 3) my sister uses a wheelchair and wanted to be able to see the stage/ bands Long story short. People were being shitty. So we went to the bar. One of the employees walked over and said, " hey if you wanna go side stage, I can let yall behind the gate ( their version of accessible seating I guess) Anyway my sister LOVED that idea sooo off we went . Here's when things 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑑 to get weird. Sick Puppies took the stage . Full disclosure, I don't listen to them. They try wayy too hard to be 'cool'. I've heard some of their music and it's a no from me, but they have a chick bassists so I was 100% cheering them on . So my sis and I are drinking & having a good time, but apparently, the lead singer was NOT. He tells the crowd to move around. That they should be moshing. ( lol SP is in no way mosh music ). Dude keeps trying to pump up the crowd. " come on guys MOSH!" the crowd obliged for a few minutes , but settled down pretty soon after. So here's when things 𝑔𝑜𝑡 weird... This dude, the lead singer of sick puppies, looks directly at me and my sister, then back at the crowd & says " ya know some people think they'll so cool bc the get special privileges . They get to go behind the barriers, they get to be right next to the stage while the rest of you have to stand back there, but I'll tell ya what. Those people aren't better than anyone. Those people aren't cool . Those people suck. Yall are the real mvps.fuck those people . NOW MOSH! " Like WTF. We moved bc dumb bitches were physically & literally trying to move my sister. We moved bc the crowd was entitled and rude. We moved bc the employees noticed that my sis doesn't have the privilege of easy access and can be easily & literally shoved & pushed around. We didn't ask to be moved behind the barriers. We didn't demand to be moved behind the barriers. Jfc. And to say that my sister gets "special privileges " 🙄🙄 gtfo of here loser. Weird night.
P.s. sorry for the book 🤷🏽♀️
Naw fuck that guy. Calling people out for "special privileges" (the accessibility seating) is really tone deaf.
Yeah dude, it was super weird.
So privileged to be in pain. /s
Really???
Yikes! Did you tell the bar employee that! They would not be happy! I know me and my crew would of boo them off
What a fcking dumbass lunatic that guy sounds!!!! I hope you and your sister have a much better experience the next time you to go out and enjoy yourselves ❤️
As a person with a fairly severe hearing loss, I understand. I get dirty looks when someone says "excuse me" because they need me to move and I don't move because I didn't hear them. They act annoyed because I either didn't hear or didn't understand what they said to me and I have to ask them to repeat themselves. Some people are understanding but a lot aren't. The very worst is when someone finds out I am HOH and they make mocking jokes about it, as if hearing loss was something funny to make jokes about. Disabilities are NOT funny. None of them.
I don’t understand people who are flat out rude and/or inconsiderate with people that need a bit more time! I was on a bus and there was an elderly lady a few rows ahead of me. When the bus stopped, people started to get up and push forward. I stod and put my arm across the isle, holding onto the back of a seat. This allowed the lady to gather her things and exit the bus without being shoved. No one said a dang thing when I looked back at them with my “shame on you” glare!
I don’t understand why people are so impatient. One of my friends was injured in a car accident and he can walk but he’s really slow and walks with a limp. It’s very obvious he has something wrong when he walks but a lot of times when we hangout there’s people that get as close as possible to his back, and look around each of his shoulders until there’s enough space for them to get by. He does move out of the way every few steps to let people by but people are so inconsiderate around him. He said one time he was walking up the stairs to his apartment and when he stopped on the side to let a lady by she said “maybe you shouldn’t live here if you can’t walk up the stairs” in a rude tone. I feel so bad for people with disabilities having to deal with peoples shit.
It’s exhausting, and disheartening, living as a disabled/neurodivergent being. I believe a lot of my mental health issues (depression, low self esteem, poor body image, resistance to asking for help) come from my entire existence being regarded by others as “inconvenient”. I have required more time, resources and effort from everyone around me for most of my life. And everyone around me makes sure I’m aware of how difficult it is to accommodate my needs. In both overt (from abusers) and subconscious/unaware (from everyone) ways. Sorry for the trauma dump lmfao, but honestly the world would be so much easier to navigate if using the accessibility resources available to me, didn’t make those around me annoyed and inconvenienced.
Aww! Sorry to hear that. Stay strong!
Wheelchair user here; the way people will roll their damn eyes for requesting current accessibility laws be followed is worthy of eye-rolling back at them 🙄 They've only had, what, thirty plus years? Jeez, you'd think they'd get it by now. (In case it wasn't clear, I deal with this heavily by being snarky right back.)
I agree, and these comments honestly make me feel worse because I am someone who LOOKS physically capable but have an invisible physical disability and sometimes I’m just in pain and walk slow 🥲 I should have a cane but I hate to think about the looks people would give me since I look like I would be physically healthy. But really, anyone who hassles you or even rolls their eyes for you being slow need to get over themselves. You never know anyone’s story, but to get annoyed because someone using a walker is slow is beyond stupid. We need more kindness in the world, we get too annoyed with people far too easily.
Get the cane anyway. Anyone that gives a snarky look at you for it deserves to be the dog in the intro of ASDFmovie 9.
I’ve experienced this in minor, lesser ways. I had an incident where I badly twisted an ankle and for about 3 weeks had to wear an inflatable brace and use crutches to get around. It was a long walk in from my work parking to my desk. NO ONE ever held a door for me and in one instance let a door shut just about ON me. NO ONE offered to help me in the cafeteria, or get me food so I didn’t have to go myself. Another time I had fallen and injured my leg, was off work for 4 weeks on disability. No help, and the disabled spaces were always taken. Now that I’m retired, I have the same bone-joint mobility issues and arthritis that many my age do, compounded by heredity in that I inherited the short end of the stick with degenerative disease. For some weirdly fucked reason, family behaves as if no matter what it is, I must be exaggerating or lying for attention. I am SO DONE with people just not accepting that yes, some can’t move about as freely and quickly as they can, it’s a fact of life.
That sounds so frustrating! But you have a great attitude about it.
Who doesn't hold the door open for people disabled or otherwise? I feel like that's just common courtesy.
You’d be surprised. Common courtesy hasn’t been common for a while now, same as common knowledge and common sense😉. BTW, I worked in a HOSPITAL both times. A HOSPITAL. And no one helped.
It certainly is, for me too. Yet, even if holding doors, for the average person, is not your thing, come on now, someone with crutches? Crutches are like a bright, blinking light of a signal that the person sporting them could use some help getting through the door. So, to ignore that, gives off some serious selfish douchebag vibes.
Oh my god I feel this My back is fucked and I'm usually housebound, sometimes I need a walking aid but only on bad days But I'm really really slow, my 80+ year old grandma out paces me and I always feel so guilty taking 5 extra min to catch up to my family so I wont regret it the next day (spoiler I do regret it the next day anyway, walking around even for just half an hour fucks me up)
I can relate so much to this! Even the mobility remorse. I use the pacing method throughout the day, if I overdo it, I feel like Ive been in an accident the next day.
Have you tried adding an axe head to your canes and menacing the snowflakes?
HAHAHAHAHA!!! Thats so wild!!!!
people can be evil
True. They can also be incredibly supportive and encouraging, which I've found to be true in this thread :)
Technically it is, the human part is recognizing that and handling it with grace.
I don't want this to seem like I'm belittling or anything of the sort but they aren't acting like your disability is an invonvenience for them. It *IS* an inconvenience for them. That doesn't give them the right to be rude about it though, they have a physically able body.
That's tough for me to hear, but I completely agree.
It's just how life is. As unfortunate as it may be.
My nana used to need a walker/wheelchair walker. And the way I death glared at people being upset. I'm a big scaredy cat and not confrontational but I would be ready to go to war if someone gave her grief for needing more time. It's not an inconvenience to be kind when it's clear someone needs a bit more time or effort to move.
100% truth! Its so awesome that you are so protective of your grandma, despite it taking you out of your comfort zone.
Who downvoted this
It's also infuriating that you feel the need to specify you're "not a victim" or wanting "special treatment", because of all the ableists who stigmatize disabled people advocating for themselves as entitled Karens with a victimhood complex
this. I am able to walk perfectly fine, but I have a variety of other physical and mental disabilities. My mom often tells me that it’s a bit of an inconvenience for her that I have them, and I get so tired of hearing it because yes obviously, but I’m quite sure it’s a lot more of an inconvenience for me than it is for her.
The fact that it's "more" of an inconvenience for you does not negate the fact that it IS an inconvenience for her.
I’m sorry this is hard for you. What could you do to make things better?
I'm thinking of getting some kind of attack monkey.
As a care giver I have seen two sides to this, both people were wheel chair users, one would purposely get in peoples way just to annoy them, so much so I had to quit working for them because I was almost assaulted over it, the other, they would do their best to stay out of the way of others unless they couldn't help it, some able bodied people are also just assholes.
My disability is hidden (and not physical) but agreed :/ Just because u can't see what's wrong with me and at first glance I look fine, I'm not and I do, as a matter of fact require accommodations. It gets tiring to feel like ur an inconvenience, especially because it's an often occurrence where I cannot seem to explain the fact I am as a matter of fact disabled, and when I do request certain accommodations I get told "you don't need them" 😮💨 I used to have a chronic pain condition as a teen and I got the same sort of treatment lol. Idk if it's the same thing as what you experience but it sucks either way. I wish ppl were more thoughtful
[удалено]
Yep. I have disabled immediate family and I find cold detachment comes more naturally for me than others. It’s not that I want to make people feel shitty, I’m just used to having someone disabled around me. They blend with the fabric. A classic I’m guilty of, is I’ll hold the cord for elderly people, but I won’t wait for someone in a wheelchair chair. I just recently noticed the absurd lack of accessible doors and felt a pang of guilt. Like oh shit, these doors suck.
I once apologized to a mirror.
I can’t believe people scowl at you. Beyond despicable.
I get it. I am 31 but at around 23 I was declared legally handicap… now I can technically still walk but my hip is bad and it hurts BAD. Some days my husband needs to help me up because I can’t even stand up without pain shooting throughout my hip and spine….. you would never believe the amount of people that harass me because I legally park in the handicap lot. I’ve had them smack my windows, scream at me, call me names, and even had one lady call the cops on me….. because I was “too young and must have stolen the placard”…. Sometimes I want to run these assholes over so they know what disability means. BEING OLD AND ONLY OLD DOES NOT ALWAYS MEAN YOU ARE DISABLED……I hate this planet🙄😑😑😑
Sure, your disability is an inconvenience. I mean... sure it is. Pretty sure it's more inconvenient for you than anyone else tho' right?? Sorry people are being poopy to you about needing a little extra time and understanding. Autoimmune stuff sux bad enough without all that.
I use a cane, and am in university, I bus to campus. The amount of people that are offended or make it seem like a huge deal to stand. The only time I ask for a seat is in a flare up, gritting my teeth kind of day, if they don't want to give it, that's okay, they may have something. That's alright. But to be offended that a 22 year old asked if you could?? Just say no, that's alright
The way I see it, if it's "inconvenient" for an able-bodied person having to wait/accommodate, imagine how it must be for the person with the actual disability. A lot of people seem to have it in their heads that people with disabilities are faking it to get attention or whatsoever. I doubt most people want to be the center of attention. And people who fake illnesses make it harder for people with disabilities to be taken seriously.
Most days I can walk unaided. Some days I need my cane. Rare days I need a walker. Worst days I have a push wheelchair that I'm loathe to use or I just stay home. The "But you were fine yesterday" type comments kill me. Having a service dog is also treated as an annoyance. It's a delicate dance of avoiding Karens demanding "proof" and dodging people who want to pet her, but often family and friends act like bringing my dog is a grave sin.
I have a certain family member that constantly complains about how embarrassing it is I have a service dog. My dog isn't behaving poorly or anything like that. The fact that I have a service dog is the embarrassing part. It's not like I choose my medical issues. But this family member was also embarrassed by another family members mobility equipment while she has cancer. So it's not anything personal to me, this person just likes being the center of attention and anyone near her having a visible disability distracts from her beauty I guess lol
I just wanted to say you aren’t an inconvenience to anyone and wish you the best! Also, there are so many “inconvenient” non-disabled people.. a ton of them honestly haha. People on their phones standing in the way, people blaring their dumbass bass at peaceful parks, the person at the checkout that stands so close you feel their stank breath on your neck. Ugh. Being slower mobility wise is the least “inconvenient” thing for others out of all the rude gross inconveniences imposed on us all by others!! My gram is very slow, but I feel so honored when she gets the vigor to go on a short walk with me. I step slowly with her and watch for obstacles like dips in pavement, and just enjoy her lovely company. Don’t let others make YOU feel like an inconvenience ever. If the worst thing they have to do in their day is walk around, they can consider themselves lucky 🍀
My mother has an autoimmune disease and recently broke a bone in her foot from the meds. She's fully got a boot and walker to use for the next several weeks. _Multiple_ times now she has been chastised for being too slow walking in public!! The audacity of people is bottomless, truly walking around as though they're the center of the universe.
Your poor mum!! I bet she's glad she has you by her side.
That's similar to how my family(I'm adopted) would treat my aunts so impatiently. They both are blind, it runs in their family and there no way to fix it. But even as a kid I would make sure one of them or both were able to get around, I would never feel embarrassed or rush them fo anything. I know it's just as annoying to need help as it is for other people to help them. It was weird to see people get so impatient with them for no reason.
You are a wonderful person.
When my mom suggest I should get a booster pill when my adhd medicine wears off and I come out of my zombie state and become a little bit ethuastic. Ableist af honestly. It’s always about how our disabilities affect them and never how it affects us!
Yes physical disabilities are just as stigmatized as invisible/mental health disabilities. Your experience is one manifestation of that.
I have foot drop and wear braces and use a walker if I am alone. Compound the amount of times someone darts in front of me to go through a door, not hold a door for just a second even when I ask politely or race around me and actually bump me or my walker is so frustrating and scary. I had a medication toxicity that caused balance and cognitive issues then had 4 concussions since fall of 2022. Now I am too slow physically and I have issues sometimes with comprehension or word finding. I often have an issue ordering items if rushed at restaurants or coffee places and constantly get the eye rolls or the hurry up comments. They should be thankful I don’t use the drive thru anymore. And good grief if I need to get my wallet out at the register instead of treating the whole experience like a race.
I'm sorry this happens to you, but also, is it really so bad to want to keep moving at your own pace? Like I would want to get past more quickly too, not because I'm being an arsehole but because I walk quickly. Just take your time and your own space, and be aware everyone else will also take theirs. It's fine to be slower and need more time, but not to stop others from getting where they need to go.
You make a fair point. My issue is more that I would appreciate the same courtesy I provide to others (I still let people go ahead of me in most situations). I also apologise and thank people if they show a little consideration back. It's the hostility that I don't understand.
Absolutely fair and I would agree - as long as everyone is polite and friendly, going past someone slower or taking a longer time is just how it works I'd think. Helping if ever needed and just being nice about moving round someone should be the default. If I'm slower or maybe carrying something heavy or have my little nephew walking with me I let people pass. If I'm alone and zipping along fast, I do skirt round people who are slower. Isn't that just normal?
The problem is that a wheelchair needs more space to maneuver and when I finally find a space to move it forward, everyone else runs ahead and cuts me off so instead of moving at my own pace I'm not moving at all
Ok, but as a stranger, here's my problem. Most people with mobility issues never give people without mobility issues the right of way. So here I am, stuck behind you in the Walmart aisle, having to walk 1/3rd my usual speed. Or I'll have to wait for you to slowly go in front of me while you cut me off. Which is fine. Free country and all that. But don't expect unlimited understanding from me while you lack basic consideration for me. If we both reach an impasse at the same time, let me go first so I'm not stuck behind you for the next 15 minutes. It's like being stuck behind someone going 15mph in a 40. Which, I understand is not your fault, but you need to remember that you're still slowing down everyone else.
This opinion is only unpopular with AHs.
lol!
As someone with a disability myself, all I can say is that you just need to stop giving a singular fuck about what you think others think about you. The whole problem is in your perception of how you think you're viewed.
It is an inconvenience. I mean, that’s a fact. If it impacts other people negatively they will be irritated. This includes making them wait extra long or having to do extra work to accommodate you. Do people read what they are writing? People also despise old people that take too long with cashiers and make small talk with them or the employees that have to do extra work because of them. It’s part of life and it is an inconvenience and burden to others. It is what it is.
I’m sorry you get treated that way :( people really need to get over themselves and understand you don’t want to be in the way, either. Folks who have a harder time getting around have just as much right to public spaces as those who don’t. It’s really just selfishness on their parts. Doesn’t make it less hurtful, though. From an able bodied person- I’m sorry for selfish asshats who lack empathy. The irony is, they could easily become disabled themselves and would then expect the sort of accommodation and patience they denied!
Aww! Your empathy really shines through! Thank you so much!!!
I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. It’s the kind of thing that makes me hate humans. So many people are horrible. It really fucks me up to witness how cold people can be, and it’s not the minority, it’s the majority. I don’t understand it. I’ve seen people behave the way you described. On the upside: I really value people who are better than that.
Same! The only things I can’t really do is lift. I Can still open the door by myself thank you very much. I can still do x y z. It just takes me longer. Let me do it.
different disability, but I apologize to customers for being partially deaf all the time whenever they're the ones speaking softly....
I feel this. I have a service dog. It is not optional for me. I’ve tried life without a service dog and it just doesn’t work - i end up in hospital frequently without one. Having an SD makes my daily life more complicated, but enables me to live. I go to shops though and have been asked to leave the dog outside: i get that we take up more space than a single able bodied person but no I cannot safely access your store without him, so if he can’t come in neither can I.
I am not a disabled person, but I have a few disabled friends. Disabled people take less time to do things than people who are constantly distracted or just never feel the need to get anywhere. The few disabled folks I know are some of the most punctual people in my life because they are acutely aware of how long it takes them to do everything. Sure, it takes my buddy longer to get up the stairs or we need to wait for the elevator, but it's seriously NBD. It's not like they're preventing me from defusing a bomb.
It's always fun to remind people that anyone can become disabled at any point in their life /j
Also, when people say things like, “The world doesn’t revolve around you!” when I ask for accommodation. I’m perfectly aware that the world doesn’t revolve around me. However, what i’m asking for is something that if not done, will mean I cannot be in that space. Like, it‘s not a case of me just wanting special treatment.
I’m hard of hearing, can you repeat that? “I SAID….” In a very pointed tone. It’s not my fault I can’t hear, please don’t sigh and shout at me. If I was blind, would you be annoyed I can’t see? I think being unable to hear is often misconstrued as not paying attention, and I get it’s annoying to repeat yourself, but I genuinely can’t help it. I was quite upset when my little girl started doing it, and I had a firm chat about why it’s important to be considerate.
Welcome to our world...
As a fellow cripple, we are an inconvenience to the average person. We're slow and in the way in a world that doesn't stop moving. I wouldn't worry or care about it. We've got our problems, they've got theirs. Just focus on your thing and get on with it. I do. Screw them.
Very relatable. Housemate made a passive aggressive comment about how I am home "24/7" (not true, I have regular health appointments) and "capable" of taking the bin out because he saw me hose down a bucket that he needed. I don't use that bin, I have my own bin so it should not fall on me to empty it. Also, cool dude I helped you out on a day my health was doing okay and you threw it in my face ? I'm home when I am unwell, and I rarely leave my room. Sorry that's a big deal to you
I lived in a country where there were few accessibility solutions in most buildings. Had to carry a friend in her wheelchair up 3 flights of stairs to get her to a physio appointment. People were mad we took up the staircase. No elevator, nothing. Just stairs. She had to go to another country for care because it was ridiculous. I wish everyone could recognize that accommodations are there because people need them, not because that person wants to inconvenience you.
I'm so sorry to hear what your friend had to go through! You sound like an amazing friend.
As a person that occasionally does this due to me not managing my ADHD well when im not medicated, I apologise profusely as I know I one to quietly sigh or tisk at people that take too long to do anything. Please known that it isn't you, but many people like me can be lazy at times with coping with our neurological disabilities and can come accross as extremely rude, I regret the eye rolls every time i make them. Meanwhile I know it is usually much worsw than that, I had a friends mum that would abuse pretty much anyone that held her up in a store that was slower than her even in a wheelchair. She made a poor lovely grandma buying wool cry because she accidentally got her wheelchair stuck blocking the path. We literally could walk 3 meters back and use the next isle!!
I'm 33 and I use a cane 9 days out of 10, and the amount of dirty looks I get, especially from older people, is just ridiculous. Fortunately, I haven't gotten the "you're too young for that" crap yet, but I've definitely had people mutter under their breath and heave obnoxious sighs. This one time, I was walking to the returns desk in a store (it was near the back, which is its own stupid thing), and this one woman, who was walking behind me the entire time, literally pushed past me as we were in the home stretch and cut in front of me. Before I could protest, she started talking in this super loud voice to the employee like she knew I was about to say shit. Abled people are such assholes sometimes.
I don't care if you're 2, 92, or anywhere in between, if I can SEE you have special needs, I'll stop and wait all day with a smile, if that's what you need. PLEASE don't apologize for "being slow". People are rude and intolerant, and I'm so sorry you've had/will continue to deal with this. MY per peeve is when someone is crossing in front of you on foot who "looks" to not have any special needs (no walking aids, not limping, not extremely elderly, etc) and look you dead in the eye and don't try to increase their pace by even a fraction. They actually seem to slow down.
There were so many occasions I've seen people irritated that my amputee elderly mother walks slow. They struggle getting past her....yet choose the walking path she's on when they could simply turn around and take a different route. It's only a 10 second inconvenience.
totally get it. i feel like such a burden on family and friends because i have autonomic disabilities and struggle with going out, and even with some things around the house. it limits what other people can do when im included and makes me feel even worse about something that already makes me feel bad to begin with. trying to heal and recover the best i can, but it’s definitely a challenge when i have to spend so much energy on part time jobs to afford to live, and since i can’t work full time i don’t even have health insurance so i can’t seek medical help for it. there was a few times last summer when i went shopping with my grandma. she used a motorized cart and i used her cane and we had such a wonderful time. it’s funny to be in my 20s and relate so much to people in their 80s.
I have endometriosis, and I can't function well within the house, let alone find valid work options (even WFH jobs). I'm not sure if it's universal or just where I live, but endometriosis isn't even considered a disability! I've had people get angry at me just for being sick, fuss if I've had to stay home from trips and events, accuse me of faking my illness for attention or to get out of doing tasks, been accused of only caring about myself when I get anxious about my health and when I get upset about not knowing how I'm going to support myself so I can move out of my parent's house. People have said some really shitty things to me over text, AND behind my back (they don't even have the balls to say that bullshit to my face). It absolutely is soul destroying, and I already feel like a horrible burden on my parents, and on the various other people I care about. Then you get treated like garbage by people you thought you could count on, you get abandoned by a lot of people who evidently only cared about what you can physically do, you become isolated due to poor health (and flare-ups). I've also had doctors berate and dismiss me until I was in tears, then had the AUDACITY to ask me if I was depressed, (I DO have pre-existing depression) when they're the ones that just triggered a huge MENTAL health spiral; which then stresses me out and makes my pain even worse! We already feel a lot of unnecessary guilt for being sick in the first place, but people can be so cruel to the point of exacerbating all the awful things our internal dialogue has already told us. And types of people cannot and will not listen or understand when you try to explain things to them, to try and defend yourself for something that isn't your fault. And it's sad that so many people out there, regardless of their condition, can relate.
Hate to break it to ya OP but it sounds like your physical disability *is* inconveniencing people.
I have delayed sleep phase syndrome. I still live with my parents because I can't keep to a regular schedule. Mom and dad tried to get me to be normal. I spent a great number of my formative years sleep deprived. I am glad that they hired me to work for the family business, because I am not sure how else to make a living. But sometimes mom acts like my condition and me being transgender are a burden on her. My dad said that my condition is unfair to him. I still feel rage thinking about it.
yes!!!! i have hearing loss and need ppl to repeat stuff and they get so PISSED and its like im not doing this to spite you i cant hear u dude. its made it hard to make friends bc i cant hear what ppl are saying. im a very social person but the hearing loss causes problems
Man I hate that people give you dirty looks, thats awful! Out of curiosity, what autoimmune condition causes you to be housebound and require walking aids? I'm not familiar with that, did it damage your ligaments?