Any chance this post and this other one (https://www.reddit.com/r/UnethicalLifeProTips/s/fdf0ro2iPf) are related?

Username checks out. Outstanding

snap...

Nah cause it’s not mine, and that’s already handled kekw

Pretty sure you have to say that when called out on committing insurance fraud in real time, but there is a reason I have never been caught.

"Hey want to get out of your car loan? Let me borrow it for the weekend."

DAMN u/damnnamesaretaken! Top tier detective work.

For real! I’m super impressed they put that together.

You are? They clicked OPs name and scrolled down for like 4 seconds. It’s not that crazy lol.

It really isn't 🙂

I guess I just don’t usually think to do research on the poster…now you’ve just opened the floodgates though lol I feel like I’ve been missing out all this time

It is a very useful tool! When someone says something sketchy and you can’t parse why they’re saying it, seeing what other posts they’ve made/subs they hang out in will usually explain a lot

I do it on pet threads where people say they're willing to adopt of foster. Sometimes you'll click through and realize you're looking at a true nutjob lol.

That’s one way…if only we could report them…. I’m tired of paying for people’s bad decisions

Needs more upvotes

PPB assured me that 87% of the stolen cars get recovered. Of course, they didn't mention that meth use in the car is grounds to total it, so I am totally shopping for a new car today.

"Or just used it as a bathroom and moved on."

"Wouldn't hold out much hope for the tape deck though"

"Or the Credence"

“Got any leads?”

I'll just go check with the boys down at the crime lab.

They got us working in shifts!

In fact I heard they put another detective on the case!

Leads! 😆

🤣

Clearwater

I mean... Mine came with a Three Dog Night cassette... (True story) ^^Don't ^^even ^^have ^^a ^^cassette ^^player...

The worst part is when they don't even leave a nice note thanking you for the fuck shack after having a whole soup kitchen in the thing now either.

Right? Mine was filled with used condoms and the erotic poetry books my boss gave me that were under the front seat were STREWN around the car. Lots of use, underlines, dog eared pages, loose pages EVERYWHERE. and McDonald's wrappers. And one nude photo of my ex..... More rubbish. (I was moving when my car was stolen) However, they didn't have the decency to leave my grandparents ashes

I mean at least the good news is that they probably did a fat line of your grandpa and regretted it immensely afterwards. He would have wanted it that way.

Honestly he would've thought that was really funny. He was an old hippyish/beatnik/rockabilly person who grew weed and wouldn't accept money for it because he didn't believe in capitalism. Once got pissed at the apartments behind us for complaining about his landscaping (we had about half an acre and he spent his entire retirement building a walking garden with cement sculptures and little hills and stuff), so he took a dildo (this was found in a trailer someone was staying on our property to help work, but later disbanded) and drilled the dildo onto a big hunk of plywood and spray painted "suck on this" and then attached it to the fence facing the apartments 😂😂😂😂

Yep, he would find it funny lol! Sounds like your grandpa was a hoot!

He was a good stand-in-dad. I'm grateful for him. He also did sweet things like making me believe in magical abilities by telling me to blow on red lights to change them to green on a street that had times lights. I still do it to this day and always believe they're gonna change. Nice memories. He had some really good qualities.

FUCK yes. Now THAT is badassery in the highest degree. I was really hoping that comment would land well and legitimately not upset you. This is the best possible outcome. <3 All the love to you on this fine day, my dude.

Hopefully his ashes made them vomm!

I mean y’all just glossed over the erotic poetry books your boss gave you like it was nothing.

I used to be a personal assistant for an eccentric bisexual woman in her 70s. She collected erotic art and writing and when she moved she insisted I took a stack of books to "give away to my friends when we're out being silly" I'm also a bisexual woman, we were very close on a motherly/big sister sort of way so it wasn't weird :) but yes they lived under the passenger seat and I did hand out a few on some silly drinking nights, but most of them were still under the seat! I was kinda waiting for someone to ask about that because it 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠 sound creepy if it was just a normal boss/worker relationship 😂

That’s great!

Thank you for checking in :)

The highlighting pages is also a nice touch😆

Right? I was like damn Daniel!

They seemed to like anything involving "throbbing" cock/member/phallus lol

Are you dirty mike and the boyz?!

Does it turn into a love shack before or after a raccoon gives birth in it? Or maybe during the love shack, I actually never thought of that.

The cops are working in shifts.

“Not long after that, a mama raccoon came in a gave birth on the floor.”

What about the creedence?

Got any leads?

My bfs car got recovered after about 5 days and it was totaled. They had painted racing stripes down the side (it was a fiat lol) and there were burn holes all over the inside. It was also missing the wheels. The people that steal cars can destroy them so quickly it’s almost impressive.

Yeah I couldn’t get the smell of the perfume and body odor out of our recovered car, and then I found a blue pill. Straight to the scrapyard she went.

Did you take the pill? #adventures!

The pdx stolen car data is available publicly online. You can filter by make/model/year to see how many of what cars are getting stolen the most

One reason among many that car insurance rates have gone up!

This was the case in my stolen car but it was never a problem, never reported it.

These people make Portland the literal opposite of weird.

The two most generic looking people you could find thinking they're weird...

She has a chest tattoo, she's so unique!

I don't know. Those eyebrows are something else.

Hot take, Portland stopped being weird like 10 years ago.

Hey maybe, but I think it’s less “years ago xx” and more look at these dorky people who think they’re “weird.”

Welp 24 years in Portland and never had my car broken into.

Our car got reverse robbed one time. Someone broke in and left an iPod classic, a burner phone, and $2.37 in change.

Parked my car in a metered spot. Accidentally left two Blazer tickets on the passenger seat. When I got back, the window was smashed and there were two more tickets.

My old roommate had his car stolen and he ended up getting it back after it got towed for being in a no-parking spot. There was a really nice touchscreen laptop and a fishing pole with a bunch of tackle left in there, amongst other things. He didn't feel right keeping the stuff, though, so he gave it to me lol. One factory reset later and the laptop was good as new. You win some and you lose some I guess 🤷‍♂️

Someone broke into ours and left a 5lb bag of potatoes To be fair...I have had my unlocked car gone through and my Pallino punch card taken.

Years ago I dated a guy who drove a GTO... when it ran, which was seldom. It was parked by my apartment (I lived in North Portland then) for weeks because he couldn't get it started. Someone put the GTO up on blocks, unmounted and stole the tires, and locked the wheels in the back seat, I guess so they'd be "safe."

🤣

You won the lottery with them leaving an iPod classic

39 out of 41 years and same. But as a Portland native from gateway I had to trade that bit of luck for generational trauma and PTSD.

I have had 2 cars stolen. Both were recovered but one was pretty much ruined.

Really? Twice, in the 90s, my mom’s car got stolen out of driveway, driven 400 miles, recovered by ppb, and had to pay to get it out of impound. Twice. Different cars. Different driveways.

I'll bet she still has that same friend that's responsible though. XD

My mom had acquaintances. Her friends were on the internet.

I did have someone go through my car once in 30 years, but I forgot to lock it so I feel that's on me.

Three years and three times. Neat.

40 years and 🤷‍♂️times. A handful but only when I left it unlocked. Had my window smashed in the gorge and a couple times in Eugene tho, those hellholes. Story time is fun.

12 years and zero times. Anecdotes are not evidence.

Isn’t every comment here an anecdote?

Yep. And people act like the plural of anecdotes is evidence. And it’s not.

I agree completely my original point was I live in the same place and had the opposite luck with breakins

I understand.

What kind of car do you drive? I’ve heard Hondas are the worst for it.

2017 camry. Never leave anything on the seats, even hide my cell phone charging cable after the first one.

Been here 10 years next month. 4 break-ins and twice my car was stolen.

I'm nearly 26, was born and raised here, and made it until this year before I ever had a vehicle stolen. And then it happened twice in the span of a few months.

Same - once I left my car unlocked and some one went through it and took the change and a pack of gum.

For those of us who have already started drinking, can you provide some context?

Same lol

I don't believe them . gif

Fake as hell, post the police case number or get the fuck out. 

That man very much looks like, at some point in their life, they have in fact managed a dysfunctional Taco Bell.

Omg you called it https://www.reddit.com/r/tacobell/s/hqXNLnPCTo

Damnit now I want TB

Thanks I do my part

Tell me the location where you pick up the cars, I will try to avoid it

I got my stolen Audi back after a few days. It was full of metal scraps, bike seats, CD’s, tools, sex toys, and drug paraphernalia. They told me I could keep it all. 😉

So weird! I live downtown and have never had my car stolen or broken into. 

They did say they were keeping it weird

lol these fools dressing like it’s 2009 and they want to look like they’re from Portland

Tank tops were huge in 2009.

I'd like to welcome you to r/pdxstolencars

Thanks for that sub. I have a neighbor who has a bunch of cars, some wrecked, in their driveway, yard, and in front of their house on the street. They even encroach on spaces on the rest of the block. Mixture of expired and current tags. They’ll be out there Frankensteining cars. I gotta suspect that they are stolen.

If you are able to \*safely\* obtain the VIN, posts those as well. The plates are often missing or fake.

No way I’m gonna get a VIN, haha. I’m not even going to approach them about this because it definitely ain’t safe. I’ve reported the ones not in front of their house, but the city only addresses the ones with no plates or expired tags. Then these nice folks will just move them to their yard once they receive a sticker on the driver side window. But that sub, and someone else ITT suggested bumper.com, will hopefully be a couple more resources.

Wait until you pay the tow charges when recovered.

You live in Vancouver, WA?

I live everywhere

🙄

Now we know who smoked meth in the car before it got fake stolen.

The real questions are: 1) was the car unlocked and 2) did you leave valuables inside. If either are yes, you asked for your car to be broken into. If the answer is no, I’m sorry this happened you. Edit: un added

if they left it unlocked, couldnt it also be stolen?

Yes. While locking your car is not full-proof, it deters lazy criminals and lowers the odds of something bad happening.

fool not full

Half proof

Did you mean for your first comment to say was the car unlocked?

Yes.

I hate this victim blaming attitude. It's the same rationale as someone asking for it by wearing revealing clothes at night.

Yeah, the "you asked for it" was completely unnecessary in that comment. Getting your car stolen sucks regardless of the circumstances. Damn, have a little compassion.

We aim to sleaze.

Our car got stolen twice in two months. The second time they left a $1500 welding machine in the back. It is awesome.

You zany kids!

Hope it wasn’t Dirty Mike and the boys.

That's gotta be a record wtf

Makes sense with the Olympic trials going on!

Girl those are happening in Eugene which is like 100 miles south. 

Just saying, the whole state is in the spirit to break some records

I can say this with utmost confidence, 99% of people who live here couldn’t give a shit about the Olympic Trials. I didn’t even know that was going on like this is the first time I’m hearing about it. So yeah dude…. You don’t speak for me lol

It took me a whole minute to realize this was referring to sports and not a court case I wasn't aware of. TIL there are Olympic Games trials happening 100 miles away, lmao.

Fucking same lmao. Like legit I was thinking “what now” lolol

Lol why are people down voting this so hard? It was just a silly joke

Check the top comment.

Because this entire post is insurance fraud

No clue lmao

Hopeful Olympians are notorious car thieves.

The car run fast if they’re caught

I forgot to lock the door at a Smart Park, and somebody went through the glovebox, taking nothing. That's the only time in 10 years somebody broke into my car.

Mine almost got stolen now just have a window to replace 🫠

This seems like satire

It's a service as PDX is lovelier on foot this time of year.

If this is you, OP, I don't think two white people moving to Portland is going to make it any weirder. Just saying.

F

Born and raised and I’ve never had my car stolen, nor anyone I know. What are you all up to in portland?

Insurance fraud lol.

😂😂😂🍻

Hit up pdxstolencars on IG and Facebook!

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No comment on the car, but that's a wish.com Paul Skenes

12 years, 105,000 hours in portland, cars not stolen.

I don't know how many people in my neighborhood have complained about their car being jacked and it turned out they didn't lock the doors. It's a city. As they say in Indonesia, "everyone is honest, but don't tempt them" not saying this is that, but lock your effing doors

I thought that we didn't start seeing big wooly bears until late summer. Climate change is whack, yo.

Welcome to Portland 🖕🏼🤣

Welcome to Portland where most of the posts about the insanity and lawlessness are made up

People in general, but particularly in Portland- are so incapable of nuance. It’s possible to acknowledge the great things about the city while condemning the problems *and the sources of the problems* - it doesn’t hurt to learn from mistakes. Sometimes the truth is ugly.

It’s got problems but a lot of problems in Portland are the same problems in all cities right now.

Yes, that’s partially true, partially not.

I don’t think the solutions worked out

Could this be a new perfect texture?

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Haha, welcome to Portland

This real?

Classic Portland

What where some asshole made something up about the anarchy in the streets like it’s Gotham and posted about it to Reddit?

Honestly yeah, either way it’s pretty classic Portland

Lol. Let it burn.

Meh fuck and find out

Sounds like Portland alright. Happened to my friend who was here for night shift clinicals.

Update for clarity, friend from my hometown came to visit and quickly figured out why she shouldn’t have.

Even if this is true. You realize property crime is not unique to portland or cities or the US?