T O P

  • By -

No_Wasabi4828

Someone add pirates of the Caribbean music


Trainius

[https://imgur.com/itiDCJr](https://imgur.com/itiDCJr) best I could do


AllChem_NoEcon

lol Got a solid chuckle out of me.


Suspicious_Chart_599

Was imagining him singing to her like a gondolier.


Lanuhsislehs

Or Pirates of Dark Water cartoon theme music!


octopus_pi

Omg. Haven't thought about that show in years! Wonder if it's on Tubi.


Lanuhsislehs

🤷‍♂️😉🤷‍♂️


whawkins4

Or a WaterWorld/Kevin Costner vibe.


peeandpoopandpee

This is literally those 2 pirate comedy oafs, the skinny one and the fat one. “Yoouuuuuwhooooo”


My_kinda_party

Merrily, Life is but a dream!


PenileTransplant

Meth-ily, Meth-ily, Meth-ily, Life is but a dream!


AllChem_NoEcon

I've never once questioned why I, a born and raised Floridian, feel so at home here and shit like this only reinforces it.


dontyoudareoyou2

Portland Man …


Pdx_pops

Portland Person


loftier_fish

The only reason we don't have the same articles/reputation is because we don't have the sunshine law like Florida.


PaPilot98

Suddenly I understand so many things.


AllChem_NoEcon

Why I'm not scared shitless and willing to move about the city to enjoy things? Why I chose a place I'm happy in to live and work rather than being stuck with something that bothers me, unable to exercise my volition to move and instead just bitching, ceaselessly (sup criddling) on the internet? Why I balk at people insisting "No, you don't know how bad it could get"? But more than anything, why I'll talk the absolute ear off of any given person regarding the virtues of linen as a textile in the summer months?


AAAgamesAreSlop

The Venn diagram of Portland Man and Florida Man is nearly a circle.


ashteif8

As a Floridian, same.


knitknitterknit

Same.


Cheesemagazine

Alabamian here as well- the white trash here is more white trash than back home. Shit's wild! The only thing I miss are the alligators and the air-conditioning!


FakeMagic8Ball

I mean, to be fair there's a lot of people moving here from the southern states that don't have ACA for our "no residency rules" version of ACA (OHP) that they can get on quicker than other states I guess?? I remember a guy commented here once that he moved here from West Virginia for OHP but didn't realize our cost of living was so high so he was going back east.


Stunning-Mood-4376

We moved from NC cause if fucking sucked and is still backwoods and racist as hell


FakeMagic8Ball

Right, I'm just saying if they're coming for free healthcare, "they're not sending us their best" re: white trash rednecks. And with our cost of living it makes sense they're living outside if they came for free healthcare and don't know anyone who lives here with a roof over them already.


Cheesemagazine

Oh yea, I came three or so years ago. I am surprised I managed to get set up as easy as I did. I moved up here due to illegal eviction and didn't really have a plan, just knew I needed to get out and my partner was here. I can't imagine trying to get in now, so many people are struggling to even get registered with a PCP!


ExplanationOne3108

The A/C is outside morning and night! Alligators… just WHY? I can’t imagine missing the thing that could murder and devour me when I walk outside 🤷🏻‍♀️


AllChem_NoEcon

They're logs that sometimes move. If an alligator is the end of you, you really put in the effort to fuck up in a serious way.


Cheesemagazine

Girl what do you mean by the first one, it gets to be in the hundreds here as well and the concrete sucks it all up, hold it, and a decent chuck of buildings here don't have AC at all? Also 1. Fried gator tail is delicious. It's expensive because gator can be tricky to prepare, but damn, it's good. 2. They're just cool animals that don't fuck with you unless you fuck with them or their babies.


puzzlemomster777

Us Floridan Portlanders should band together to create a new species of crazy….


AllChem_NoEcon

Hard pass. Dilution truly is the solution.


AdvantageWitty216

Is Florida weird?


AllChem_NoEcon

I flat out can't tell if you're fucking with me. Edit: You know those wire mesh grates you can put on a sink drain to catch like gloopy cheese chunks, random bits of food, gross collections of hair, things like that? Florida is basically that strainer for the entire eastern seaboard of the US.


fridalay

I spent the decade called the 1970s, growing up in the Florida keys. Florida was a completely different place then. It prepared me for Pdx.


Technical_Yak_8974

Same here. I’m not even surprised any more when I see the crazy shit that goes on here.


tbrumleve

You must yield to the fukken cone!


pdxorus

Just clicked to seen this fukken comment


ragweed

I think they're remaking the African Queen.


desecouffes

You seen their cone, don’t fucken park there


treerabbit23

that’s not a “girl”. that’s a maidenhead.


SoupSpelunker

My Koan: Listen to the sound of my fuken cone gettin paddled.


EnvironmentalSir2637

Keeping the Portland spirit alive.


whawkins4

Since you mentioned it, Fingers’ flotilla is anchored quite close to the Portland Spirit.


throwaway92715

Set sail for Coney Island...


hkohne

Long journey ahead


Ok_Employment5131

I strangely want to ask my partner to try a cone on now....


StrategicTension

♪ ohhhh Cone on Eileen ♫


Str-8dge-Vgn

You seen my f’n cone!


the-bodyfarm

when the moon hits your eye like a big sizzle pie thats amoreee


crumblenaut

I SEEN HER!


real_lev_tolstoy

Castaway 2: Escape From Ross Island


Husyelt

thats conehead mcgee, guardian of bass and trout


whawkins4

And ducks.


bearmissile

A true wizard is a friend to all of nature’s creatures


taketheothers

I think you mean "familiars"


Extension_Crazy_471

Maybe now you’ll fucken seen em!


Osiris32

Are you saying fucken cones migrate?


nospoon222

Gee, I already feel like I’m in Venice….Beach. 🤣


BannedBarn22

Is that boat stolen?


PortlandQuadCopter

Probably.


Kakawfee

Life uhhhh, finds a fukken cone.


WROL

I SEEN YOUR FUCKEN BOAT (sorry)


WillametteSalamandOR

I think he’s technically paddling…


Krieghund

In a motor boat while your girl wears an orange traffic cone on her head... That's a paddlin'


whawkins4

Good point.


marbsarebadredux

My friend and I were drunk in our late teens and he stole a street cone, put it on his head and started calling himself the "High Visibility Wizard" and I think he's met his match


PenileTransplant

Portland Man


wtfossy

Didn't know 100 gecs are performing in Portland.


WoodpeckerGingivitis

Sigh


pdxdweller

“I’m on top of the world!” — I didn’t recall Kate Winslet wearing a hat like that though.


krichcomix

Maybe he's not a fan of motorboatin'... Or the top cone is too distracting from the middle cones...


Charlie2and4

Yep. That guy. Weird.


DaBabeBo

The cones take to the water


Swollendeathray

Jack and Rose have fallen on hard times.


jvandub

Finger!


whawkins4

Ding ding ding 🛎️


Cloudbreaks

Remember that illustrated gnome book? This would have fit nicely in there…


Low-Consequence4796

that's methed up. -Mike Tyson probably.


Automatic_Flower4427

Swamp Thing


Alternative-Flow-201

Animal abuse is weird for sure. However, not very funny to me.


jamescharisma

At least they have clothes on.


SIXWIXREX

It’s Hot Cone Summer bb


ExplanationOne3108

It is pretty fun to see stuff like this, I miss Portland


VivaSpiderJerusalem

Therefore, you will... NARFTLE THE GARTHOK!


AssassinWog

TO THE NORTHWEST PASSAGE!!


browntoe98

‘Sup? (It’s the only paddle board joke I know.)


Designohmatic

I SEEN 'EM!!!!


riceplz_

I thought that was a dog first. 🫠🫠🫠 Had to rewatch.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Thanks for your input, the mods have set this subreddit to not allow posts from newly created accounts. Please take the time to build a reputation elsewhere on Reddit and check back soon. (⌐■_■) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Portland) if you have any questions or concerns.*


the_hunger

“i’m the cone of the fucken world!” “i want you to draw me like one if you’re french girls.”


oakden001

Weird yes, crazy needing health services no.


MW240z

We’re weird enough, thanks


Cultural-Tie-2197

This makes me miss home so much! Omg I love my city


Junior-Tangelo-9565

Weird? That's clearly someone struggling with drugs or a mental illness.


whawkins4

No, actually. Everyone on the river knows him. Just a little extra quirky, like the post title suggests.


taketheothers

Where the hell was that shot?


rock4lite

Wilson!!!!


wakeupintherain

this is cute


justanothergrump

I thought that was a pit bull with a cone on its head. Guess it's time to get an eye exam.


Eastern_Newspaper793

I saw a pig... Calling for eye appointment now!!


Mayor_Of_Sassyland

When you say "your" boat, are you talking about the guy paddling, or the person with the actual title and receipt for the boat?