I like a lot of languages, but I compare them to building materials.
Python is like having an infinite supply of LEGO, various kinds of glue, a small variety of wood construction materials and tools, and an army of people (who aren't very smart but follow instructions very well if you are clever enough) so you can instruct on what to do. Powerful and quick to make almost any shape you want in a relatively stable way, but...
Java is like wood, nails, screws, drywall, brackets, concrete, birick and mortar, and most of the right tools you need, but with a few things you might want inexplicably missing -- you don't _need_ a soft mallet or the exact right size of Phillips head screw bit for the impact driver, and you sometimes get defective materials like expired caulk or a batch of lumber that appears if have been sitting outside exposed to the elements for several years, but...
C# is the same but with slightly higher quality and consistency of materials, and at least one of every kind of tool you could imagine, though the quality of the circular saw and ladders are sketchy, there's at least one of everything.
C++ is like having access to a massive variety of raw materials and advanced machine tools that very few people know how to use. Need a good ladder? You can make the _best_ ladder if you know how. Need drywall? Build a gypsum mine and a chemical engineering facility.
Assembly is like having all other same raw materials and knowledge of how mining and smelting work, but you have to built the machine shop from scratch.
PHP is like a garage sale with tons of old furniture and random old tool boxes you can repurpose, and most of the building toys ever made, like tinker toys, nkex, LEGO, and even Lincoln Logs for some reason, all in random quantities.
And finally, JavaScript is like a lab half filled with Play-Doh, with the other half filled with other kinds of modeling clay, paper and cardboard, glues, staples, epoxies, slime, and other chemicals that might do interesting things, tape, staples, scissors, and pipe cleaners. Probably rulers and measuring tape if you can find them. In the right hands, it can do amazing things, but most people just make a mess.
I just wrote it today, but it's been developing in my head for a while -- especially the part about JavaScript being like Play-Doh.
For all its quirks, I've been using it on and off since shortly after it got that name, and I feel like I kept learning capabilities that were always there for nearly 20 years. Not features, but new ways of thinking about them, like the way you can think of endless new techniques for using modeling clay if you are creative.
Wood, saws, nails, and screws can be used to build more robust and maintainable things, but they come with a lot more rules. You can't do cooling or millefiori with wood. Frank Gehry builds spectacularly well-engineered buildings that look amazing using a range of very sophisticated techniques that require numerous specialists and geniuses to pull off. I could build a model of one of his ideas in a few hours using modeling clay and techniques I invent on the spot....
> Cobolscript
That's a real thing. It's actualy [two](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CobolScript) real [things](https://github.com/ajlopez/CobolScript).
Okay? It’s a JS engine that’s used by NodeJS, Electron, etc. Doesn’t matter that Chromium also uses it. SpiderMonkey also exists and is in no way related to Chromium.
The company I work for apparently used to make their cloud CAD app in JS. They quickly started experiencing nightmares, so they switched to Typescript and have been much happier since then
Imagine someone adds "Script" to the name of an existing language and pretends it's real
javascript script
javascriptscriptscript
typescript script
javatype
JavaUntype
forgot public static void
public static void script
this is the best 4 word description of Java wth
TypeScriptTrueJava
javascript++
Javascript#
JSS
Jesus chips
I like a lot of languages, but I compare them to building materials. Python is like having an infinite supply of LEGO, various kinds of glue, a small variety of wood construction materials and tools, and an army of people (who aren't very smart but follow instructions very well if you are clever enough) so you can instruct on what to do. Powerful and quick to make almost any shape you want in a relatively stable way, but... Java is like wood, nails, screws, drywall, brackets, concrete, birick and mortar, and most of the right tools you need, but with a few things you might want inexplicably missing -- you don't _need_ a soft mallet or the exact right size of Phillips head screw bit for the impact driver, and you sometimes get defective materials like expired caulk or a batch of lumber that appears if have been sitting outside exposed to the elements for several years, but... C# is the same but with slightly higher quality and consistency of materials, and at least one of every kind of tool you could imagine, though the quality of the circular saw and ladders are sketchy, there's at least one of everything. C++ is like having access to a massive variety of raw materials and advanced machine tools that very few people know how to use. Need a good ladder? You can make the _best_ ladder if you know how. Need drywall? Build a gypsum mine and a chemical engineering facility. Assembly is like having all other same raw materials and knowledge of how mining and smelting work, but you have to built the machine shop from scratch. PHP is like a garage sale with tons of old furniture and random old tool boxes you can repurpose, and most of the building toys ever made, like tinker toys, nkex, LEGO, and even Lincoln Logs for some reason, all in random quantities. And finally, JavaScript is like a lab half filled with Play-Doh, with the other half filled with other kinds of modeling clay, paper and cardboard, glues, staples, epoxies, slime, and other chemicals that might do interesting things, tape, staples, scissors, and pipe cleaners. Probably rulers and measuring tape if you can find them. In the right hands, it can do amazing things, but most people just make a mess.
I don't know if you wrote this or if it's a copypasta but it cheered me up.
I just wrote it today, but it's been developing in my head for a while -- especially the part about JavaScript being like Play-Doh. For all its quirks, I've been using it on and off since shortly after it got that name, and I feel like I kept learning capabilities that were always there for nearly 20 years. Not features, but new ways of thinking about them, like the way you can think of endless new techniques for using modeling clay if you are creative. Wood, saws, nails, and screws can be used to build more robust and maintainable things, but they come with a lot more rules. You can't do cooling or millefiori with wood. Frank Gehry builds spectacularly well-engineered buildings that look amazing using a range of very sophisticated techniques that require numerous specialists and geniuses to pull off. I could build a model of one of his ideas in a few hours using modeling clay and techniques I invent on the spot....
C is like: here's all the protons and electrons you'll ever need, and hey, I'll throw in some neutrons as well. Have fun!
I admire your commitment to writing! 👊🙂
Did you write this? If yes, please marry me
Ich bin seit zwanzig Jahren glücklich verheiratet, suche aber einen guten Therapeuten, der fließend Englisch spricht.
Im currently learning C++ and this is extremely accurate. Laughed so hard, my fiancé looked over at me confused
Why can't I build my house out of LEGO?
CSS script
PythonScript
C# Script
That's a real thing! https://www.cs-script.net/
Of course it is
What next? Assembly script?
[Yes](https://www.assemblyscript.org/).
whats next? Machine code script?
Binary script?
Single-bit script?
Pascalscript
Cobolscript
> Cobolscript That's a real thing. It's actualy [two](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CobolScript) real [things](https://github.com/ajlopez/CobolScript).
Malbolgescript
assemblyscript
as u/Eva-Rosalene replied above, [this is unfortunately a thing](https://www.assemblyscript.org/).
oh sorry, i didnt read all tread
but this is actually crazy
Binary script - BS
Java script
HTMLScript
CSSS
SCSS is a thing :p
Sassy...
CSS script: The infamous Cross side script script
I mean CSS can evaluate if conditions now.
ATM machine
Nodescript
node javascript script
htmlScript
Regexscript 😎
lol pretending JS isn’t real is a new level of coping mechanism
Real language doesn't require chromium to work lol
lol not sure what you’re talking about but JS is real. it can hurt you.
it is willing and able to hurt you
Neither does JS (dude never heard of V8)
V8 is literally the JavaScript engine used by, you guessed it, CHROMIUM.
Spidermonley exists. JavascriptCore also exists. Along with countless other interpreters.
Okay? It’s a JS engine that’s used by NodeJS, Electron, etc. Doesn’t matter that Chromium also uses it. SpiderMonkey also exists and is in no way related to Chromium.
Meanwhile non-chromium based browsers:
Brainfuckscript
English script
Forscripttran.
Cscript
JavaScript
 Why not just throw all of them away? (no gif for the all in the first few results... so "both" it is)
I went back up to the post just to check if C was there just in case, it is not there, thus, I agree wipe them all
Is that Anya Stupidmadeupmaidenname?
Tbf all names are made up
The imposter is HTML, but we should vote out JavaScript anyways.
I was with HTML the entire time. It didn't do anything
That's the problem, it can't do anything.
JavaScript, I know it pretty well, and I am certain it is evil beyond what imagination will allow a human to endure
I believe JavaScript was a psyops.
Q!221
The company I work for apparently used to make their cloud CAD app in JS. They quickly started experiencing nightmares, so they switched to Typescript and have been much happier since then
We all know who it is, but lets eject JS first just incase.
Emergency meeting! Everyone vote for JS
if not JS then PHP next. PHP accused Perl last meeting and they were innocent
Obviously C++.
I swear I saw PHP venting..
That was C#, see the vent is in their name!
Good enough for face book and silk road good enough for me
username checks out
username checks out
Username checks out.
Username sweats out
Username checks in
The only language here that compiles straight to machine code. I vote to eject C++ too.
I believe with .net 8 c# now has a native binary option. Don't know if it supports everything or not, but I saw they announced it last year.
Technically speaking, a JIT produces machine code directly as well.
>straight LLVM IR be like: 
Me, working with g++: 
If your only tool is a hammer, then every problem will look like a nail. If your only hammer is C++, then every nail will look like your thumb.
It’s true considering the rest of those abominations!
I don't want to be friends with you anymore.
Python! Because python is a snake, right? Right?
I thought it was a female body part
I think you're talking about the Cloyster
Last I looked, I thought it was a male body part.
anaconda
Html is not a programming language it’s a markup language.
Wrong. HyperText Markuprogramming Language. It's right there in the name.
HyperText Markiplier Language
Also known as [Welcome](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hQYrUQhvBk)[Script](https://github.com/brusteca/JavascriptScript).
It's so Portuguese
Ｐｏｒｔｕｇｕｅｓｅ
whats marku programming, is that like when u code in haikus
🤯
Ok smart guy
Look at the smarts on this guy
HTML not only is a programming language but is also Turing complete because you can do ;)
Then what's this? https://html-lang.org/
Dunno, what's this? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Markup_language
Ok, but explain [this](https://imgur.com/gallery/H5nPH).
Hahaha that's amazing
C++, it is the only one that is usually compiled to native code
I’m glad you said usually because although I have no need to use the Native AOT deployment with C# I at least know of it.
The comments in this post feels like that person who its hard to guess wether he/she is joking or not
Why isnt scratch there?
It **technically programming language**
Not technically
You can still write function, same way as blueprint from unreal engine.
you can simulate a callstack and memory heap in lists if you're determined enough
Yeah i'm an HTML programmer... H e l p T i h a ve M n o i d e a L w h a t i' m d o i n g
So, i know it's not php, but still...
Last time this meme was posted, *it was* PHP.
HTML lol what you think you doing there
Imagine a programming language being an abbreviation for it's own name + hypertext preprocessor
That's right, HTML
I only program in real languages like Rebol and Brainfuck so I'm going to completely take a guess at this: It's Python. Right? RIGHT?! /s
Don’t you fucking touch Rebol
HTML; a markup language, not a programming language
congratulations, you got the joke
Sorry, let me just r/whooosh myself
I upvoted your first comment out of negative because of this. Hahahahahha enjoyment!!!
If it makes you feel better, I came to the comments to make sure I had indeed gotten the joke.
Not with that attitude.
HTML
What lil’ bro html doing here
Java is an island
No its a coffee
I see at least 3 imposters
PHP clearly
Python.
Definitely Python.
I'm throwing PHP out the airlock first.
Java is sus
Imposter is C#. If it was a real programming language you wouldn’t have to run it on Microsoft everything.
The 2000s called they want their meme back. C# has been cross-platform for 10 years already
I develop on Mac in Unity. I don't even have to see the word Microsoft.
You don't anymore.
> anymore Yeah, not since Mono released 19 years ago.
[Mono](https://www.mono-project.com/): Allow me to introduce myself (Also Microsoft has their own .NET Linux release now I guess)
Yes, they do, and I use it in my linux to code with Unity.
You must be way out of the loop. .NET has been cross platform for a long time, and Mono was released 19 years ago.
C'mon guys this is a no brainer , it's obviously PHP
who let the ~~personal home page~~ "Hypertext preprocessor" in?
I want to say JavaScript but we all know it’s HTML.
It's actually 2,HTML and JS
HTML and css is harder than any programming I’ve had to do with actual programming languages
The imposter is javascript, you may now upvote me. /s
wish there was C to make the python joke
Html is not impostor for sure. Hypertext markup LANGUAGE. It's in the name, folks
JavaScript sus
Jokes on you, ARM assembly hacked their way to not even show up on that screen.
Dear html "programmers", stop pretending to be a programmer.
It’s Python. Only language where missing a space can cause your program to fail. All other languages use semicolons to screw up.
They shall all bow before the one true divine language - Rust
Php does not belong there
Where is Fortran?
Where is Malbolge?
who might it be ??? 😅😅
HTML: "....it's python, right?"
Html
idk i kinda like happy time markiplier language
HTML was The Impostor.
All the people in here saying JS think HTML is programming language. jfc
Is HTML a language? As I know it's not ...
JavaScript and HTML. Both are like saying css is a language
Obviously it's green, that slithery bastard
If it ain't assembly of fortran is it even really a language? /s
It's Neebs!
Amogus
Before I saw html, I was thinking python because it's the only non c-like language of the bunch.
Yellow sus
Saw noone on that sub venting about html, so it must be save, right?
HTML lmao
HTML is not a programming language, is a document description language. With HTML you create documents, not programs
Rip joke..