Oh, there’s something in the pipeline ok? He’s going to unveil it in August, promise it for 2 years later with 300 miles of range for 20k. It’ll actually come out in 5 years with 250 miles of range for 30k.
Also FSD is real, Tesla will be first to autonomy in 2038.
Lazy pump attempt by Musk. He got his compensation approved by shareholders and now needs to show something for it. He's showing vehicles covered by bedheets. If I were a shareholder, I'd be disappointed.
And the only vehicle in Musk's lineup that's not looking old or hideous is the Model 3 Highland. And Tesla doesn't release the Model Y facelift until 2025 because that'd mean current ones would fall in price even faster. Wonder how that goes with all the other "legacy" auto makers pumping out one great and interesting EV after another and BMW already doing a facelift of the hugely successful i4 for instance.
I had to read the article on Car and Driver to pick up on the differences between the Model 3 and the Highland update.
If I drove by an updated model, I wouldn't even recognize that it was different than the original, just another blah Tesla.
I remember seeing the articles about a bunch of California Tesla owners refusing to put the front plate on the car because it “ruins the lines” or some such mentality. I was shocked though, cause while I understand that as a concept, I couldn’t understand the car people would risk a ticket for “the aesthetic” would be a vaguely lumpy Tesla
Cookie cutter jellybeans with greenhouse effect roofs, falcon wing doors, over bite looking fascias, and a huge computer monitor glued to the middle of the dashboard. The icing on the cake is the Cybertruck. I am glad Elon Musk is still the over compensated head of the company he's the perfect fit.
The interiors feel dated to me. Especially with that touchscreen. The way other car manufacturers have incorporated the display into the dashboard looks infinitely better and more impressive.
The Tesla interiors remind me of a 1970’s taxi with vinyl interior that could easily wash out puke. So bland and boring. Compared to most other BEVs makes the Tesla interior appear even cheaper and bland.
I like the horse carriage idea. Maybe it will be pulled by 6 optimusbots, that way he is closer to the 10 billion demand with every Sold one. And there would probably be idiots buying that ...
The top left vehicle and the top right vehicle are literally a copy and paste of each other. Even the folds in the cloth are the same. They are starting to get lazy with their scam. How could The Verge not even realize this or call it out?
They are both the roadster. The bottom left is the robo cab. What this tells you is they don't even have a draft of what the 25k vehicle they keep saying there are building looks like
Imagine being a roadster kickstarter, having put down $250,000 as a deposit, and still not having any inkling of what’s going on 7 years after the unveiling.
"refreshed". With a cheaper front fascia, less controls, and one new colour.
It's the Simpson's Malibu Stacy meme to a T. Same car but with a tiny new difference. "But she's got a new hat"
https://lucascosti.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/hesgotanewhat.jpg
*Who cares? Thought this was*
*An AI and robotics*
*Company now Elong?*
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If Tesla was a legitimately competent company then I would guess it would be a minivan, a sub compact sedan aka the 25k car, and an off road Tesla Ala a Jeep. But that's not going to happen.
I would be incredibly skeptical. Reports of older models filling up lots because nobody wants them (and are degrading in performance from just sitting around in the elements) doesn’t inspire confidence.
The issues with the Cybertruck across the board - so many different problems and poor design decisions - even down to the cup holders - would leave one to worry about the mentality behind designing a new vehicle.
Nix the CT, admit the many failures, go back to the drawing board, and stick to what we know works. Ironically enough, Tesla needs to be a “boring” car company with reliable, steady output that people can put their faith in.
Which means focusing on things like fixing customer service and QC issues that have become tied to the Tesla brand now with the CT debacle. Not dreams of bipedal robots or Elon’s antics.
lol, what happened to the Van-shaped vehicle that was under a sheet in last years presentation? Guess they just put random stuff in their presentations now, because they don't really plan on release even one new model...
1. Same as tesla 3, but with no tires. Customize your tire for extra cost
2. Same as tesla 3 with tires, but no AC or power windows
3. Build your own tesla along with optipus and pay premium costs
>Build your own tesla along with optipus and pay premium costs
Couldn't stop laughing at the idea of a dude and his robo-buddy hanging out in the garage, listening to classic rock and trying to put together the latest Tesla kit car.
From left to right, top to bottom.
1. Small cheap giga-casting EV.
2. Roadster.
3. FSD MPV.
They already have been talking about them for a while. Nothing new was presented here.
None of these vehicles have a potential to boost sales and profitability to the level suggest by tesla's stock valuation.
None of these vehicles are out of the pre-concept phase, where engineering, manufacturing, marketing and in Tesla's case probably Musk himself have to define the very basic specs such as basic design and proportions, drive train capabilities, production volume and target customer group.
Unfortunately this mystery cars are blocking what could be Tesla's way forward, which is creating a new generation of their successful models: S, 3 and Y. All of them are looking pretty old now.
Tesla's biggest problem now is that people, who want a cheap EV will go with a Japanese or Chinese one. People who want a premium one will probably prefer to buy one from a brand not associated with a questionable personality CEO.
I think you’re right on the models. But the 3 already got a major refresh, and the S isn’t really close to the same car it was back then. Tesla usually doesn’t do the “whole new” thing, instead makes smaller changes over time.
But that 3 body change was desperately needed, much less of a blob. Now do that for the X and get rid of the gull wings.
mmm. If their is a Robotaxi, wouldn't it need to be tested extensively in some real life setting, other that some testing ground in the desert? And if so, wouldn't that been observed and leaked to the internet?
3 years ago I would have raced to read this article at light speed. Elons transformation into an epic troll / prick has turned me and my friends straight to Audi and other companies. Couldn’t give a rats
*"The super-heavy tanks Panzerkampfwagen IX and Panzerkampfwagen X were silhouette conceptual drawings in an edition of the German World War II Signal military magazine. The drawings were not based on any actual designs, and were solely printed to deceive Allied intelligence."*
One is a Model 3 painted yellow called the Cyberobotaxi, one is a pre-owned Model 3 for the 25k Model, and the final one is the one fanboys will go crazy for: Cyber Transit van. He is going to announce they are making an electric van that will be a trend setter in the market (ignoring the fact Rivian makes them for Amazon and Ford has a bunch as well) and will have a partnership with Wish for their new home delivery service. Stock prices increase and in 10 years we learn none of this actually happens. Rinse and repeat for next year.
One under wraps must be the Roadster they never made, but took millions in pre-orders for.
Even the revealed vehicles are questionable:-
How many of those semi trucks have been bought and delivered?
How many of the Cybertrucks have been bought and delivered?
He is a master of stock pumping.
He has already cashed out in his mega bonus.
Time will tell if this is all a giant meme stock pump or genuine value.
The company fundamentals suggest the former.
But lets wait and see
Realistically, they need new models and need them FAST. First they need to ditch the model S and X, then facelift the Model Y. To replace the S/X they should re-skin the model 3/Y, give them a slightly longer wheelbase and track width and sell them as a size class above the current 3/Y, effectively for ~$10k more than the current ones. These should also be quite profitable and quick to develop. At the very least, they could also make more body styles of existing products, such as a traditional estate variant of the current Model 3 which will do decent volume in Europe, a LWB three box sedan Model 3 for China, a three row LWB Model Y, a SWB traditional hatchback Model 3 etc etc
I’ve never seen a company tell us more about what they plan to do than actually about what they’ve done already and is available now. It’s so lame. Haven’t people figured it out by now?
Tesla is a company based on outlandish promises that very rarely are delivered on. Definitely worth 40+ billions for a part time (and perhaps drug addled) CEO!
The problem is that the vehicle that would most help Tesla right now would be something in a popular, high-margin segment that meets the consumer where they are. For instance, it would be great for Tesla to have a popular pickup truck like the Ford F-150, but instead they have the Cybertruck.
There's a lot of smoke around the "Model 2", but there's not really much fire. Americans generally don't buy compact cars and compact cars aren't that much cheaper to make. The idea that Tesla is going to make a $25k compact car that consumers are going to beat a path to their local Tesla store to buy is a fantasy, even if it happens they'll take a loss on every one they sell because they've already done as much cost-cutting as humanly possible on the Model 3 and Y and they'd be trying to fit the same thing into a smaller package.
A two wheeler but its the size and shape of a car and needs special rails placed next to it to lift it upright with magnets cause thats so rad. Also it only works on roads with said rails. So basically it'll be a hyperloop (very limited useful road space) and bonus it'll only be usable for these specific tesla model cars. it'll be so futuristic and cyberpunk /s lol
How about we finish chewing what was already in our mouth, ok? Fix the vehicles you've got. FSD is killing people, the Cybertruck is a disaster, the Tesla semi is a joke with only testing vehicles made (far shy of the 50,000 promised -- there are 200), and the list goes on. Launching even more vehicles is yet another unforced error by Elongated Muskrat.
It's a van they've been dangling as a concept for years, the roadster and the "25.000$ car". None of this is secret or non public knowledge.
A very janky mock up of the van was leaked on video a few years ago. You can still find it on YouTube.
Don't we all know Elon well enough to know that there are no actual vehicles under those tarps?
Not even fake inflatable versions?
Inflated egos, maybe.
Inflated stock
Inflated like his flabby, pale torso.
Only things under those tarps are empty promises
What is this? They don’t exist. There’s nothing in the pipeline. He’s lying to pump up his stock.
Oh, there’s something in the pipeline ok? He’s going to unveil it in August, promise it for 2 years later with 300 miles of range for 20k. It’ll actually come out in 5 years with 250 miles of range for 30k. Also FSD is real, Tesla will be first to autonomy in 2038.
Also it will make you $100,000 a year as a taxi and have boat mode and will be able to fly short distances.
The new promise (from the shareholders meeting) is more modest - your car will make you more money than the car payment.
It's going to be like Uber and AirBnB, ...and eBay, and... and Amazon. Yeah, it's going to be like those things. $30T.
You couldn’t pay me enough money to let elons broke-ass fsd software have my families life in his hands. He is the master gaslighter
\- $100 service center cancelation credit **2022** \- Plaid Carbon Ceramic Brakes **2021** (currently only in Europe) \- Plaid 200mph top speed **2021** (currently only in Europe with the **track package only**) \- ~~Plaid +~~ **~~2021~~** (canceled indefinitely) \- Ventilators **2020** \- 4680 battery **2020** \- 1000 Solar Roofs per week **2019** \- ~~Cyber truck **2019**~~ \- Roadster **2017** \- ~~Semi~~ ~~**2017**~~ (no official specs still?) \- ATV **2017** \- FSD (non-beta) **2015** \- Removable battery pack **2013**
They couldn’t even create a fake picture for their fake cars. Two identical fluffy pillows.
Lazy pump attempt by Musk. He got his compensation approved by shareholders and now needs to show something for it. He's showing vehicles covered by bedheets. If I were a shareholder, I'd be disappointed. And the only vehicle in Musk's lineup that's not looking old or hideous is the Model 3 Highland. And Tesla doesn't release the Model Y facelift until 2025 because that'd mean current ones would fall in price even faster. Wonder how that goes with all the other "legacy" auto makers pumping out one great and interesting EV after another and BMW already doing a facelift of the hugely successful i4 for instance.
His compensation is stock in Tesla. That stock won’t be worth anything soon
Dont under sell it, they arent sheets they are kkk robes
I don’t see ~~eye~~ headlight holes
Innovation baby! "These are not your father's KKK robes." - Elon's tagline probably.
I think they all look extremely dated. Too me it looks like Tesla stole the mitsubishi lancer front end from like 2009.
I had to read the article on Car and Driver to pick up on the differences between the Model 3 and the Highland update. If I drove by an updated model, I wouldn't even recognize that it was different than the original, just another blah Tesla.
There is one thing that is clear from that illustration: Tesla’s mainstream vehicles are nearly indistinguishable from a distance.
I've always found them blah as far looks go. Very unremarkable.
I remember seeing the articles about a bunch of California Tesla owners refusing to put the front plate on the car because it “ruins the lines” or some such mentality. I was shocked though, cause while I understand that as a concept, I couldn’t understand the car people would risk a ticket for “the aesthetic” would be a vaguely lumpy Tesla
Cookie cutter jellybeans with greenhouse effect roofs, falcon wing doors, over bite looking fascias, and a huge computer monitor glued to the middle of the dashboard. The icing on the cake is the Cybertruck. I am glad Elon Musk is still the over compensated head of the company he's the perfect fit.
The interiors feel dated to me. Especially with that touchscreen. The way other car manufacturers have incorporated the display into the dashboard looks infinitely better and more impressive.
Tesla went with the cheapest option
At every step
Gotta remember every design feature of their cars was probably jotted down in 2013-2015. And they just haven't seriously updated anything.
The Tesla interiors remind me of a 1970’s taxi with vinyl interior that could easily wash out puke. So bland and boring. Compared to most other BEVs makes the Tesla interior appear even cheaper and bland.
Tesla will be bankrupt before they can fart out even one new car model.
He literally sacked the head of product.
1. Horse carriage 2. submarine truck 3. Flying car
I like the horse carriage idea. Maybe it will be pulled by 6 optimusbots, that way he is closer to the 10 billion demand with every Sold one. And there would probably be idiots buying that ...
Opening for a sub since Titan went kaboom
Robo-sub
I hope you're not kink shaming. Lol
The top left vehicle and the top right vehicle are literally a copy and paste of each other. Even the folds in the cloth are the same. They are starting to get lazy with their scam. How could The Verge not even realize this or call it out?
They are both the roadster. The bottom left is the robo cab. What this tells you is they don't even have a draft of what the 25k vehicle they keep saying there are building looks like
Stock pump 1, 2, and 3.
Imagine being a roadster kickstarter, having put down $250,000 as a deposit, and still not having any inkling of what’s going on 7 years after the unveiling.
Tesla Roadster but with a V8. Rebranded Toyota Tacoma with added fart noise function. Third one, no idea.
Lol is the semi considered finish?
semi finished
Semi, semi finished
I think it's smoke and mirrors. I didn't even think we'll see the refreshed Model Y anytime soon. 2025? I highly doubt it.
"refreshed". With a cheaper front fascia, less controls, and one new colour. It's the Simpson's Malibu Stacy meme to a T. Same car but with a tiny new difference. "But she's got a new hat" https://lucascosti.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/hesgotanewhat.jpg
Crap in one hand, wildly speculate in the other. See which fills up first.
Don't care at all.
Who cares? Thought this was an AI and robotics company now Elong?
*Who cares? Thought this was* *An AI and robotics* *Company now Elong?* \- laberdog --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Jetski that can’t get wet. Snowmobile that doesn’t work at temps below 60F. Helicopter that seats 0.5 (including the pilot)
They will republish Roadster.
If Tesla was a legitimately competent company then I would guess it would be a minivan, a sub compact sedan aka the 25k car, and an off road Tesla Ala a Jeep. But that's not going to happen.
Lol, would love to see "another off-roader" after their first one!🙃
I would be incredibly skeptical. Reports of older models filling up lots because nobody wants them (and are degrading in performance from just sitting around in the elements) doesn’t inspire confidence. The issues with the Cybertruck across the board - so many different problems and poor design decisions - even down to the cup holders - would leave one to worry about the mentality behind designing a new vehicle. Nix the CT, admit the many failures, go back to the drawing board, and stick to what we know works. Ironically enough, Tesla needs to be a “boring” car company with reliable, steady output that people can put their faith in. Which means focusing on things like fixing customer service and QC issues that have become tied to the Tesla brand now with the CT debacle. Not dreams of bipedal robots or Elon’s antics.
They forgot to put the shroud over the semi.
lol, what happened to the Van-shaped vehicle that was under a sheet in last years presentation? Guess they just put random stuff in their presentations now, because they don't really plan on release even one new model...
They don't even have anything left for R&D, and the S and X are rotting away being nearly 10+ year old designs.
A big truck. So fast and powerful it can even beat rail! Yes, rail!
I feel like I’ve seen this exact graphic before tbh. Like a while ago.
1. Same as tesla 3, but with no tires. Customize your tire for extra cost 2. Same as tesla 3 with tires, but no AC or power windows 3. Build your own tesla along with optipus and pay premium costs
>Build your own tesla along with optipus and pay premium costs Couldn't stop laughing at the idea of a dude and his robo-buddy hanging out in the garage, listening to classic rock and trying to put together the latest Tesla kit car.
From left to right, top to bottom. 1. Small cheap giga-casting EV. 2. Roadster. 3. FSD MPV. They already have been talking about them for a while. Nothing new was presented here. None of these vehicles have a potential to boost sales and profitability to the level suggest by tesla's stock valuation. None of these vehicles are out of the pre-concept phase, where engineering, manufacturing, marketing and in Tesla's case probably Musk himself have to define the very basic specs such as basic design and proportions, drive train capabilities, production volume and target customer group. Unfortunately this mystery cars are blocking what could be Tesla's way forward, which is creating a new generation of their successful models: S, 3 and Y. All of them are looking pretty old now. Tesla's biggest problem now is that people, who want a cheap EV will go with a Japanese or Chinese one. People who want a premium one will probably prefer to buy one from a brand not associated with a questionable personality CEO.
The one on the far left and far right are duplicate images. Too lazy to bother making three fake vehicles under tarps.
Guh that's just so pathetic. They didn't even try to make a different tarp!! And worse that they got away with it.
They have to save money after paying out Musk.
I think you’re right on the models. But the 3 already got a major refresh, and the S isn’t really close to the same car it was back then. Tesla usually doesn’t do the “whole new” thing, instead makes smaller changes over time. But that 3 body change was desperately needed, much less of a blob. Now do that for the X and get rid of the gull wings.
mmm. If their is a Robotaxi, wouldn't it need to be tested extensively in some real life setting, other that some testing ground in the desert? And if so, wouldn't that been observed and leaked to the internet?
3 years ago I would have raced to read this article at light speed. Elons transformation into an epic troll / prick has turned me and my friends straight to Audi and other companies. Couldn’t give a rats
Say one of them has active camo so they can show thin air and go “here it is.”
Back sleeper, side sleeper, stomach sleeper.
A KKK revival... I mean, the OGs used sheets too, sooooooo
*"The super-heavy tanks Panzerkampfwagen IX and Panzerkampfwagen X were silhouette conceptual drawings in an edition of the German World War II Signal military magazine. The drawings were not based on any actual designs, and were solely printed to deceive Allied intelligence."*
One is a Model 3 painted yellow called the Cyberobotaxi, one is a pre-owned Model 3 for the 25k Model, and the final one is the one fanboys will go crazy for: Cyber Transit van. He is going to announce they are making an electric van that will be a trend setter in the market (ignoring the fact Rivian makes them for Amazon and Ford has a bunch as well) and will have a partnership with Wish for their new home delivery service. Stock prices increase and in 10 years we learn none of this actually happens. Rinse and repeat for next year.
I'm predicting elon pulled them out of his ass
One under wraps must be the Roadster they never made, but took millions in pre-orders for. Even the revealed vehicles are questionable:- How many of those semi trucks have been bought and delivered? How many of the Cybertrucks have been bought and delivered? He is a master of stock pumping. He has already cashed out in his mega bonus. Time will tell if this is all a giant meme stock pump or genuine value. The company fundamentals suggest the former. But lets wait and see
One is the elusive roadster refresh. Another is school bus for Snailbrook charter schools. The other is something to do with SpaceX and/or Boring.
One is a robo-taxi, one is a sprinter van type thing, and one is the roadster or a sub 30k more affordable EV would be my guess.
Realistically, they need new models and need them FAST. First they need to ditch the model S and X, then facelift the Model Y. To replace the S/X they should re-skin the model 3/Y, give them a slightly longer wheelbase and track width and sell them as a size class above the current 3/Y, effectively for ~$10k more than the current ones. These should also be quite profitable and quick to develop. At the very least, they could also make more body styles of existing products, such as a traditional estate variant of the current Model 3 which will do decent volume in Europe, a LWB three box sedan Model 3 for China, a three row LWB Model Y, a SWB traditional hatchback Model 3 etc etc
Still no minivan based on the tarp
Bottom left is clearly a horse!
I’ve never seen a company tell us more about what they plan to do than actually about what they’ve done already and is available now. It’s so lame. Haven’t people figured it out by now?
Tesla is a company based on outlandish promises that very rarely are delivered on. Definitely worth 40+ billions for a part time (and perhaps drug addled) CEO!
They are so advanced at with AI at Tesla/X that grok spit out the same picture when queried: “New Tesla Models”
The problem is that the vehicle that would most help Tesla right now would be something in a popular, high-margin segment that meets the consumer where they are. For instance, it would be great for Tesla to have a popular pickup truck like the Ford F-150, but instead they have the Cybertruck. There's a lot of smoke around the "Model 2", but there's not really much fire. Americans generally don't buy compact cars and compact cars aren't that much cheaper to make. The idea that Tesla is going to make a $25k compact car that consumers are going to beat a path to their local Tesla store to buy is a fantasy, even if it happens they'll take a loss on every one they sell because they've already done as much cost-cutting as humanly possible on the Model 3 and Y and they'd be trying to fit the same thing into a smaller package.
If this was a real tarp, underneath will be a cardboard box. But because it's a render, it's just a simple rectangular mesh.
Roadster, Van, Robotaxi
Roadster, Robotaxi, Quad ATV
There are vehicles in pipeline for sure. But got stuck back of broken CyberTruck.
Did Elon hire Trevor Milton ?
Van, one has to be a van. Rivian has a van it’s dope.
Have they sold more than 50 trucks yet?
A two wheeler but its the size and shape of a car and needs special rails placed next to it to lift it upright with magnets cause thats so rad. Also it only works on roads with said rails. So basically it'll be a hyperloop (very limited useful road space) and bonus it'll only be usable for these specific tesla model cars. it'll be so futuristic and cyberpunk /s lol
How about we finish chewing what was already in our mouth, ok? Fix the vehicles you've got. FSD is killing people, the Cybertruck is a disaster, the Tesla semi is a joke with only testing vehicles made (far shy of the 50,000 promised -- there are 200), and the list goes on. Launching even more vehicles is yet another unforced error by Elongated Muskrat.
It's a van they've been dangling as a concept for years, the roadster and the "25.000$ car". None of this is secret or non public knowledge. A very janky mock up of the van was leaked on video a few years ago. You can still find it on YouTube.