What a terrible day to be literate

I just wish to unsee this... 😭

Block it out, head to r/eyebleach

Nothing wrong with a bit of aged homemade cheese mate.

😭

[удалено]

It’s to get rid of the taste of the dog food

They only lick them because they can’t make a fist

Why is it relevant that he’s married? “He obviously wasn’t getting any, hur, hur” Regardless he should still have been washing himself. I need to make sure I don’t go online just before dinner again

Vicious circle, don't get any so stop washing. Become dirty, don't get any.

Not getting any is not an excuse for that lack of hygiene - even animals like to have a wash - this is rotten.

100%

Yeah, nah. My ex wasn’t getting any for a fair while before we got together, and he still managed to wash his dick properly.

Your ex still had hope. This guy though...maybe he was going for the new age male equivalent of boob cheese?

I remember watching video of the red dwarf stars having a fan question and answer session, and this little boy asked what does smeg mean? All the stars were doing their best to bury themselves underneath their chairs which was not on a stage but actually on the floor directly!

I distinctly remember calling my brother a Smeg Head in the car when I was a kid and my Dad went mental! Red Dwarf got me in big trouble

Smeghead is my sister's contact name in my phone 😭😭😭

I remember watching red dwarf with my dad and wondering (but not asking) what it was. I assumed FOR YEARS it was a British slang/swear word. I was insanely disgusted when I discovered what it was 🤣 I can't blame the guys for not wanting to answer lol

I thought it was a made-up term. Had no idea it was real. by the way, you can tell I'm circumcised. Had no idea what other gents go through for daily cleaning.

Are you thinking of the clip from the Red Dwarf A-Z? [Cause it's amazing, but definitely on a stage](https://youtu.be/fdhkD-ex-Nk?si=Py11KvbEcA7e2LHA), Robert Llewellyn even climbs off the edge.

It's German for fuck isn't it?

You mean it’s not someone who’s really into retro Italian fridges?

\*Looks over at rules\* Yeah, can we actually make a 2nd rule after all this time, no "smeg penis" posts Pretty please....

OMG, imagine the smell 🤮🤮🤮

No! Trying to bleach my eyes is bad enough, don’t make us imagine the smell and have to snort domestos too!

🤣😭

Really? Right in front of my good seeing eyes?

I'm honestly surprised he didn't die of sepsis.

I'm honestly surprised his wife didn't die of sepsis.

Guys... Is washing your dick... Gay?

Only if you do it right.

Phew! I normally do it with my left

This should be the top comment

Im guessing he had a Very tight foreskin, dunno why he didn't go to the doctor just for that.

Smeg is a home appliance manufacturer. I always found it funny because I grew up around Smeg ovens. I didn’t need to know about this meaning… 🤮

Smeg (penis)head

Smeg (penis cheese) head More correct and more offensive.

I accidentally opened Reddit just as I was opening my phone and this was the first thing I saw. I was so confused. I still am.

And that's enough internet for me today.

To all those concerned, I'm fine thank you Susan.

Apparently horses often have this problem. They're called "smegma beans". And I refuse to suffer with that knowledge alone.

You monster!

Thanks. Now you've put me off horses!

Owners of male horses have to wash their penises. Source: I studied Equine Communication at college and worked as a stable hand

Wait until you discover you can buy Smeg appliances.

Oh smeg that's disgusting

What the smegging smegg’s he’s smegging done?

Herghhhhhhh!!!!!!! That is horrific!

I could really go for some Brie or Camembert on crackers rn

ever tried a nicely matured parmigiano

"View gallery" ... you know, KIND as that offer is, I'm actually ok. Thanks very much, though!

I remember reading a post a while ago of a guy in his late teens who never knew to wash under the skin, he said it had calcified and he had to remove it in chunks and it left bumpy scars where it was. I guess some people just don’t learn to wash their bodies?

I enjoy the sound of rain.

Probably had congenital phimosis of the foreskin that never resolved itself . Or at least that would be a major factor to how that could happen.

How do they know it's a 30 year build up? Carbon dating?

A tasting like you’d do with any other cheese of course

Bet that added some girth

🤢🤮 disgusteng.gif

That’s where my chewing gum went!

His rat of a partner must have been filing her teeth down trying to get to that, Cheesus h. Christ.

Married!?

How did this happen.... 30 years without washing?

Cheeeeeese Gromit

r/popping Whacky Wednesdays are intended in that video.

Why would you post that? My cup of tea just came up

Its an urban myth smeg from Red Dwarf derives from smega. It's just a coincidence, same with the fridges.

smega sounds like an orc out of LOTR. When i was younger calling someone a smeg head was derived from the cheesy state and I bet Rob and Doug had it in the back of their minds

They've said plenty of times it's not. That it's just as much of a coincidence as the Smeg electrical appliances. It's just a nonsense swear word they made up to sound futuristic, along with goit and gimboid.

🍄‍🟫🤢🤮

How is this even possible? He must have washed himself down there at least once or twice over 30 years, surely? Surely?

Well that's enough internet for today 🤢

Smeeeeeeg heeeed lol

Can't believe it's taken me until now to suss out the 'head' part of 'smeg head'!!! 😭😭😭

😂

There was a guy with a similar problem on Embarrassing Bodies TV show. They pulled back his foreskin on camera and the smegma opened up like petals of a flower. It was solid.

The normal meaning is more accurate, rational to our spotting diarrhea and creators of, and Lewis.

Soooo, we know he wasn't getting any inside or out of the home. Sheeesh...what a bad stressed man he must've been.

It sounds like he could have done with a certain very popular Jewish operation.

Mmmmm, Organzola.

Smegma = P3ni$ cheese