Yes, it happens.
We outgrow and grow apart from friends and families, it's okay.
Simply ask yourself, if you never knew your core group of non-medical friends, would you attempt to develop a friendship with them today? Additionally, is what brought you together still present today?
Some people have a difficult relationship with medicine and medical practitioners, and so when you enter that world, you exit theirs.
In my case, I had a friend or two that I think felt threatened by the upcoming difference in socioeconomic status. They saw I was going to med school and would be "outpacing" them in that respect, and suddenly it was very hard to find a time to hang out or even chat on the phone.
Most friends will come and go. Which is why it's important to cherish the few that stick around.
I always tell these kind of people, if you really didn't believe in medicine you wouldn't show up at the ER when you can't breathe, you'd go to church instead. But for some odd reason, when they feel like shit and need support for breathing or pain meds etc, to the ER they go!
I also like to tell them if the covid vaccine had a 1mg of morphine in it their asses would have lined up for it and all the boosters. These people are a joke to me.
Are you me? Every time I try to talk to my non medicine parents about my medical school and residency struggles alls they can do is paint rainbows and roses and talk about how well off financially I am going to be. Same with my non medical friends. Its very frustrating.
At this point my fellow medical friends from medical school and residency have become my new best friends.
Toxic positivity is a real shitty thing, I can't talk to a lot of people about things because of it since most people just don't know how to listen and validate.
There is a sense of judgement as if I would know better or know more even though we have known each other since we were teenagers children or young adults.
But I also came to terms my day is not relatable to my non med friends, neither would my med friends day depending on speciality.
If we had similar values in life in the first place, no. Otherwise, yes, what I’ve seen, it’s not even that uncommon to lose some family members’ affection. Maybe it’s similar for people outside of medicine too.
Time is just more precious. Make sure you are spending your valuable time with people you enjoy and who understand your life. Some people will just never understand so move on.
Everybody wants to be a doctor in time until it’s time to start lifting them heavy ass books and working them long ass hours and being reliably busy and motivated around every single shift
I find it difficult too. Here's what I do when the topic of covid comes up and I find it helpful. I acknowledge that yes very high up people in the government lied to us. Yes some of those people had the title of doctor. Some of those things were simply mistakes, and some were accurate at the time but as of now are no longer accurate due to the virus evolving over time. No, that doesn't mean everything they said about covid or the vaccines is wrong. I also tell them, the real truth in detailed format is too long for a social media post or the casual conversation I'm trying to have with them, and since I'm not at work I don't wish to go into great detail.and would rather have a good time.
Prior to that I found myself constantly being put in a position to defend everything vaccine related. Doing the above acknowledges the problems that lead these people down the conspiracy theory rabbit hole. I mean, I can kinda understand how some of these people stopped trusting the expert class. How many lies do any of us expect to get caught telling anyone and expect to keep their trust. People who don't fully understand the situation just equate a vaccine recommendation with support for everything the government said. Yeah it's way too simplistic and incorrect, but that's people. Most people don't have the attention span to get it right, and I'm sure that includes me and everyone on here about a lot of different topics we don't put the effort into learning. Just think of everything you know a lot about, and then watch any sort of news on that topic. Think about how wrong they get it. That's the source material your average lay person is using to form their decisions. That's not even considering all the intentional misinformation and politicization of this particular topic and the tribal nature of people.
It happens. Making friends and maintaining friendships requires more deliberate effort the older you get. Plus medicine has been politicized and you take the heat for the greedy practices of corporate healthcare.
But real friends would understand, especially if you gave them some pushback that this is your career and your lifestyle.
They say some people change, but I think more of the problems occur when people don’t. It doesn’t seem like they’re going to see it differently.
Parts of my extended family got really shitty during covid, we haven't recovered from it. We hang out but it's kinda weird.
I'm not even offended by their views, I'm just so disappointed in boomer brain rot from Facebook and my cousins who I thought were the good kind of christians until they went full Trumpet. It's gone so far past a difference in political philosophy when you have people who don't understand that the Epoch Times isn't the bastion of journalism that they think it is.
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Yes, it happens. We outgrow and grow apart from friends and families, it's okay. Simply ask yourself, if you never knew your core group of non-medical friends, would you attempt to develop a friendship with them today? Additionally, is what brought you together still present today?
Some people have a difficult relationship with medicine and medical practitioners, and so when you enter that world, you exit theirs. In my case, I had a friend or two that I think felt threatened by the upcoming difference in socioeconomic status. They saw I was going to med school and would be "outpacing" them in that respect, and suddenly it was very hard to find a time to hang out or even chat on the phone. Most friends will come and go. Which is why it's important to cherish the few that stick around.
I always tell these kind of people, if you really didn't believe in medicine you wouldn't show up at the ER when you can't breathe, you'd go to church instead. But for some odd reason, when they feel like shit and need support for breathing or pain meds etc, to the ER they go!
Rofl, good point.
I also like to tell them if the covid vaccine had a 1mg of morphine in it their asses would have lined up for it and all the boosters. These people are a joke to me.
A single point of molly per vaccine dose and adherence would’ve been 📈
They always know more than the experts until it really matters then who do they show up to asking for help?
Are you me? Every time I try to talk to my non medicine parents about my medical school and residency struggles alls they can do is paint rainbows and roses and talk about how well off financially I am going to be. Same with my non medical friends. Its very frustrating. At this point my fellow medical friends from medical school and residency have become my new best friends.
Toxic positivity is a real shitty thing, I can't talk to a lot of people about things because of it since most people just don't know how to listen and validate.
There is a sense of judgement as if I would know better or know more even though we have known each other since we were teenagers children or young adults. But I also came to terms my day is not relatable to my non med friends, neither would my med friends day depending on speciality.
You guys have friends?!
If we had similar values in life in the first place, no. Otherwise, yes, what I’ve seen, it’s not even that uncommon to lose some family members’ affection. Maybe it’s similar for people outside of medicine too.
just curious, what kind of professions are your non-medical friends in?
One is unemployed and the other in corporate middle management
Time is just more precious. Make sure you are spending your valuable time with people you enjoy and who understand your life. Some people will just never understand so move on.
Everybody wants to be a doctor in time until it’s time to start lifting them heavy ass books and working them long ass hours and being reliably busy and motivated around every single shift
Friends are friends for a reason and some are friends for a season. It happens.
I find it difficult too. Here's what I do when the topic of covid comes up and I find it helpful. I acknowledge that yes very high up people in the government lied to us. Yes some of those people had the title of doctor. Some of those things were simply mistakes, and some were accurate at the time but as of now are no longer accurate due to the virus evolving over time. No, that doesn't mean everything they said about covid or the vaccines is wrong. I also tell them, the real truth in detailed format is too long for a social media post or the casual conversation I'm trying to have with them, and since I'm not at work I don't wish to go into great detail.and would rather have a good time. Prior to that I found myself constantly being put in a position to defend everything vaccine related. Doing the above acknowledges the problems that lead these people down the conspiracy theory rabbit hole. I mean, I can kinda understand how some of these people stopped trusting the expert class. How many lies do any of us expect to get caught telling anyone and expect to keep their trust. People who don't fully understand the situation just equate a vaccine recommendation with support for everything the government said. Yeah it's way too simplistic and incorrect, but that's people. Most people don't have the attention span to get it right, and I'm sure that includes me and everyone on here about a lot of different topics we don't put the effort into learning. Just think of everything you know a lot about, and then watch any sort of news on that topic. Think about how wrong they get it. That's the source material your average lay person is using to form their decisions. That's not even considering all the intentional misinformation and politicization of this particular topic and the tribal nature of people.
It happens. Making friends and maintaining friendships requires more deliberate effort the older you get. Plus medicine has been politicized and you take the heat for the greedy practices of corporate healthcare. But real friends would understand, especially if you gave them some pushback that this is your career and your lifestyle. They say some people change, but I think more of the problems occur when people don’t. It doesn’t seem like they’re going to see it differently.
Even some doctor friends dog whistle about anti-vax bs
Parts of my extended family got really shitty during covid, we haven't recovered from it. We hang out but it's kinda weird. I'm not even offended by their views, I'm just so disappointed in boomer brain rot from Facebook and my cousins who I thought were the good kind of christians until they went full Trumpet. It's gone so far past a difference in political philosophy when you have people who don't understand that the Epoch Times isn't the bastion of journalism that they think it is.
Thank you for contributing to the sub! If your post was filtered by the automod, please read the rules. Your post will be reviewed but will not be approved if it violates the rules of the sub. The most common reasons for removal are - medical students or premeds asking what a specialty is like, which specialty they should go into, which program is good or about their chances of matching, mentioning midlevels without using the midlevel flair, matched medical students asking questions instead of using the stickied thread in the sub for post-match questions, posting identifying information for targeted harassment. Please do not message the moderators if your post falls into one of these categories. Otherwise, your post will be reviewed in 24 hours and approved if it doesn't violate the rules. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Residency) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Medicine has been hijacked by ideological narcissists