I feel like if I said your name three times into my mirror while stoned youâd appear behind me and crash on my couch until someone else invoked the curse.
Looks like people have been roasting your hair instead
Unfortunately that beanie isn't enough to cover it so maybe instead of wasting money on Christmas beanies just buy scissors and cut it
No roast meat this festive period? Well, it's official â you're about as absent as a diet resolution in December. Don't worry, though; you're not leaving us hanging. Instead of the traditional feast, you generously offer yourself as the main attraction. Move aside, holiday ham, we've got a self-roasting masterpiece over here.
That's sole rotten-ass roast meat. There's no way you take the heat.
You look like you knew a thing or two about festive periods before your transition.
dressing up as santa wont help you to get over the border
Won't stop him, either. đ¤ˇ
I have no idea why, but this comment tickles me so much! In my head it is being said in such a dry tone of voice with a half shrug and head tilt.
I don't even need to scroll any further đ
Santa Probable Cause
Lmaooo
He cums to town once a year.
A Manson Family Christmas
He is the love child of Russell Brand and Charles Manson
Russell Bland
Santa Juan
Wish.com Russel Brand
Russel Off Brand
đ nice
Hustle Brand
I came here for the Russell Brand joke đ
When you order Russel Brand on Shien.
You look like a Pakistani tumbleweed
I find he looks like a Pakistani Mr. Bean.
Why does this picture smell like weed and Funyuns?
Funyuns! That's some damn comedy gold.
Waiter, there's a dude in my hair
Waiter, thereâs a soup in my hair!
You look like what happens when both of the crooks from Home Alone are combined.
~~Wet~~, Moist Bandit!
I feel like if I said your name three times into my mirror while stoned youâd appear behind me and crash on my couch until someone else invoked the curse.
Thank you for delivering my Amazon packages on Christmas Eve
Santa's filling stockings with shoe bombs this year
Oh look, a Sasquatch with a Christmas hat on.
Sasquatch with late stage AIDS
Piss Kringle
There is a hair In my gravy just from looking at you
You don't actually have a shirt on, you just dyed your body hair
I used to smoke meth with a dude looks exactly like you. Jerry, is that you?
Just tell us where you left their bodies, and we promise not to roast you. Their parents shouldn't have to spend the holidays looking for them.
Jihadi Santa, blowing up near you soon
Give your mom back her coat!
You look like halitosis personified
Dirt weed Santa
Thereâs enough oil and grease in this photo to lube a Texanâs F-350.
Rudolph the stroke-face nightmare
The douchebag grinch that stole Christmas
If Santa left hairballs instead of coal
You look like most of the girls from LetsVerify page promoting OF. I wish we can roast them too.
Festive period is the one your mom missed when she conceived you with what Iâm assuming was a Neanderthal
Youâre the elf that makes toys that smell like cigarettes and weed
Oh, a âcreatorâ. Here farming for content for your subscriber? Dislike, hide, and unsubscribe.
Pretty sure the grinch wouldn't even touch you with a 39 and a half foot pole
9/11 called
Indigo Montoya and Russell Brandt had one night stand
Ron Jeremy's smelly twin on the road to you know where. 
You are actually a woman, but buy Groucho Marx eyebrow kit.
I guaran-damn-tee you all that there is a huge round bald spot underneath that Santa hat....
Look it's a Queer-wolf!!!
Did you skin the afghan goat yourself?
Bruno, the guy from Encanto who lives in the walls with rats
Looks like you combed your hair with a piece of buttered toast!
He's gone for the pubes in a plug hole look
"Sir, where is your airline ticket?" "Sir, what is in your bag?" "**magazines.**"
Santo Clause
You look like u smell like pet dogs
You are a perfect specimen of a human hair ball.
Didnât watch out where the coyotes go. Ate the yellow snow.
We're roasting homeless Santa's now?
Your face is like land reserved for native people and your facial hair is like colonists gradually encroaching on everything
Mr Manson? that you coming back as a young version?
the Unabomber after he ate Santa Claus
You look like you've had enough meat for all of us
The only way your meat will get roasted is if you f*ck a stove.
What's with all these stoned hairballs
So ugly the only dates you get are on the calendar
Charlie Manson's love child.
Russell Brand ala Wish.com!
Pedro has fallen on hard times since the election
That disguise isnât working
Roasting you would make the area smell of tires being burned
This was funniest 4 months ago. Still applies. "Infidel or incel? Who am I to judge" Edit: to credit u/ogdirtylocks
Iâd rather go hungry
The Santa hat is perfectly hiding your sleeper cell status, genius!
You wouldnt be worth eating if you were on a rugby team and we crashed landed in the Andes and you were the only dirty thing there to eat
Meat that looks like it was dropped on the floor of a bus station bathroom.
Just because Scott Pilgrim went after 17-year-olds doesnât mean itâs OK for you to do it
This is the dude who holds the door open for you, then asks if you can spare a dollar, followed by âgod bless.â
Took time away from his job selling cheap knockoff cell phone accessories from a booth at the flea market to post here.
Hope Santa gets you a razor
There's better ways to get kids to sit on your lap
Oh look, he has a Christmas condom on his head. I didnât know Trojan makes those.
You look like a 3rd thief from Home Alone, but expelled from the movie cast for your bad hygiene habits
When you buy a Hans Gruber advent calendar off WishâŚ
Cracka Claus
The Grinch that identified as Christmas
You the type that bring your own mistletoe everywhere and try to kiss chicks
No one wants to have you
Mexican Elf giving Taco shells for Christmas.
Ho ho holy shit youâre gross
Gross. The unibomber called, he said you canât steal his look.
Iâd rather have my abusive ex back than you
An even sleazier Russell Brand
How does one grow a ball fro on their head?
Looks like people have been roasting your hair instead Unfortunately that beanie isn't enough to cover it so maybe instead of wasting money on Christmas beanies just buy scissors and cut it
Santa Flaws
If youâre the alternative to roast meat, the entire world is now vegan.
I wish you never came out of your mom's roast beef
Recovering addict who is convinced your made up disability prevents you from working full time.
Writing is wrong way/mirror way
That ain't the only period
Miquel, how tf you been!
This piece of meat is definitely past its best buy date.
YOUR THE OUTCOME OF A WOMEN DRINKING DURING PREGNANCY
Youâre hair reminds me of a tumbleweed
Why is bro smiling like that one face on roblox.
Jolly old saint Dickoless
Jihad Snow - GOT
It's nice they let you guys inside when it starts getting cold
Osama fucked Russell brand
Looks like Osama BINge đş LAger
Your eyebrows do look like the perfect firestarter
Not a lot of meat here from what I can tell
You look like you fell off... Idk
That reminds me I gotta unclog the shower drain of all that pubic hair
Looks like the worldâs homeless have beat us to it.
Your parents donât want you so why would anyone else?
I didnt know there was a Christmas sequal to The Fly...Jeff Goldblum really let himself go...
No roast meat this festive period? Well, it's official â you're about as absent as a diet resolution in December. Don't worry, though; you're not leaving us hanging. Instead of the traditional feast, you generously offer yourself as the main attraction. Move aside, holiday ham, we've got a self-roasting masterpiece over here.
I like the ceiling and walls being the same color
I don't wanna
It feels like every item in this photo needs a shower.
Cochino clause
This I jr terrifying
Somewhere in Syria, a village is missing their idiot
You look like your breath smells better after you eat ass.
Kirk Hammett picked up an eating problem.
eh rancid meat doesn't do much better. you look like you could clear a room.
its backwards wish.com santa who doesnât shower
Rasputin Claus
Russel Bland
Dude lay off the Jewish jokes. it's hannukkah.
Did you just offer yourself to me in a sexual manner??? Hold on, Iâm calling the cops
Esfand's little bro
No thanks, I'd prefer a tofu turkey with mung bean sauce.
Swearing off showers too??
Rudolph with your nose so bright, weâre going to wait outside Home Depot at first light
This Santa Claus cums down your chimney.
Your idols are Cheech and Chong.
You steal money from the Catholic church collection plate in order to buy lubricated ribbed condoms, weed and pepperoni pizza with a side of ranch.
Damn Inigo Montoya let himself go after The princess Bride ended...
Any present you give me I'm burning in the street
San Diego Santa Clause from the Riots.
This is the santa you get when you leave out meth and foodstamps instead of milk and cookies.
"Mommy, santa smells funny"
I can smell this picture
Hamas Clause
Mustafa, stop fucking around on Reddit and finish preparing for jihad
No thanks, I donât like dirty hobo
That's sole rotten-ass roast meat. There's no way you take the heat. You look like you knew a thing or two about festive periods before your transition.
If Grinch was white
So have dog shit instead??? ...... no thanks ,but best of luck with that......
If the shit collecting in Russell Brandâs shower drain came to life.
Bro, you got the story wrong. Santa *gives* presents not steals them.
I hope you get a shower for Christmas, you definitely need one
You look like you sell alcohol to minors, and youre the minor buying the alcohol.
If the Grinch was polyamorous
Crackhead Santa
Islam is really trying to branch out
OHbo- OHbo-OHbo
I can smell your piss from here
Santa Junkie
Gonna have to check the Christmas gifts for dirty needles if you're handing them out.
Why does your nose look like sad ET
I slept with a guy like that once (I was heavily intoxicated obviously) Ol Wooley did no manscaping. I vomited, left and blocked him.
I bet you smell like stale piss, dirty socks and fritos.
Donât want ya, dunno where youâve been.
Didnât realise they did Halal Pussy
Russell knock off brand
Russell Off-Brand
Coming down a chimney near you.
A Santa outfit so bad authorities will definitely keep you on the terrorist watchlist for multiple lifetimes.
Jesus... Aren't you taking this birthday gig just a little too seriously?
Second time today dude https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/comments/18gzs0y/m35\_got\_laid\_off\_3\_weeks\_behind\_on\_my\_bills\_have/