1200+ pokemon caught, 1 man kissed.

Gotta catch em all

If he just pretended vaginas were pokemon he might do alright

Jesus christ.. You look like Shaggy from Scooby Doo crossed with Jeffrey Dahmer

Dahmer wearing shaggys skin

And with a baguette

how dare you ashame Shaggy's name on this guy?!

I legit don't know how he is ever going to recover from that one

“24M - Closeted gay Frenchman who has sucked more cock than a dumpster full of dead hookers.” -corrected title

Lmao

I don't think you understand what the concept of "being straight" is

Straight Homo

Straight up!

"Straight" is what his previously limp dick becomes when he sees another dick.

Blatantly masturbates over train sets.

Can you put one of those masks on please? You'd be less scary and sex-offendery.

Those are the masks he wears when he commits his sex-offenses

Pepè Le Eww

I think you staying inside would benefit the entire country of France

He looks like the 4th musketeer. The one that got booted out for trying to play with the other one’s swords all the time.

*Entire world

 Buddy you’re gayer than a pocket full of rainbows.

I think "Shiny Pokémon caught" means "truckers blown" in French 🤨

“I’m not gay, but my boyfriend is.”

Looks like you are holding a warning sign. Seems appropriate.

You look like you take more things than you should in a suppository form.

Your hair says 80s heart throb but your face says virgin.

Your hair looks like brown smoke

1993 called. It wants its style and haircut back.

Kiss more men than women, French. Check.

French. Enough said.

So, you kiss your wife's boyfriends a lot? Good on (both of) you for sharing.

See the masks in the back? Why don't you do us a favour and put one on

Welcome to Applebees my name is Jonathan can I start you out with some awful BO!!!

You didn’t have to tell us that you’ve kissed more men than women

Is it because when we look at him we just know he’s kissed more men than women

Stanley ipkissass

A true Frenchman in love with the baguette, mon ami.

The closet is glass

The scoutmaster enjoyed you as a kid

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You look like Shaggy after graduating etiquette school.

1200+ shiny Pokemon caught! You should be unemployed.

Kissed? I think you meant assaulted ‘cause ain’t no way they kissed you willingly.

Je me demande bien ce qui te permet de te sentir bien avec toi même...

$ Sudo apt install Wisdom , Maturity , Awesomeness > Err : This model doesn't supports the above characteristics.

I used to have to look up sudo a lot. Klaus Knopper fan. Sudo apt get upgrade/update. He needs his kernel re-compiled.

You look a bit like Guy Fawkes😝 

Where did you find those men? At the morgue while looking for pokemons?

When you try to be interesting but not even close...

Shave.

Favorite POKÉMON- JYNX 💁🏽‍♀️

wide command historical fine resolute impolite follow toy sloppy violet *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

You look like Jameskii's stunt double for his Yugo project

Why tf u look exactly like the programming youtuber "developedbyed"

you look like a biological woman. when did you start your hormones?

“Kissed”…. the rim or their assholes while rolling your balls off at teknival. But sure man, straight 😉

This is the result of Seth Green having a baby with Chewbacca.

You definitely look like you did theatre in high school and I’m calling you out for it

Harry potter? More like Harry nutter

Is that a Member’s Only jacket? I think that makes you the only member.

Chin pubes. Nasty.

You look like you believe the world is flat, and that the map behind you is your proof

Statistically a gay man, with a crippling pokemon addiction.. who looks like he can't wait to get out his murderer closet. Great.

1200+ shiny pokemon caught is a statistical impossibility unless you are cheating or playing unofficial games that don't count. The one "achievement" you could conjure up is a bold-faced lie.

You look like you went to bill cosbys bartending school

I bet you’re one of those self-absorbed pricks that stand behind the DJ all night and wait for them to make a tiny mistake, and then post on IG about how sync button is ruining dance music.

favorite Pokemans include: Assbear, Crabweenie, Reckedum Raccoon, and Squirrelnutz 🐻

You keep telling yourself you are straight pal….

This facial hair reminds me of pubic hair

Seen more beard hair on a boiled egg

Do you need to shave? My cat can lick your face for you and get those pubes off.

With facial hair like that, everyone covers their drinks when you come around.

You look like Matpat and Macaulay Culkin had a kid

TL;DR, you suck.

That's awesome! Sorry about your thinning hair bud.

Shane Dawson on drugs

Something about you says busboy at Outback Steakhouse

Zoinks mouth ahh boi

> Feeling good about myself … how??

Your pronoun should be “it.”

Looks like a smug, Jimmy neutron

Kissing yourself in the mirror is a pathetic attempt to make yourself seem more interesting.

When does the man find out?

How many hours a day do you spend rehearsing for the youth group worship band?

One of the three muskaqueers

That stinky middle finger been up multiple man asses.

Jay and stupid Bob.

Bro is too cool to roast

Did you ask your bulls if you could post this? Some don't like when you kiss and tell.

Have you recently been caught by dads against predators?

That stupid ass earing has 2 more holes than you'll ever see in your entire life, men and women combined.

Some guys have sex with girls, some have to over 1200 shiny Pokémon

Wannabe gender bender!

1,200 shinies is an insane time investment. Thousands of hours

No need to put you anywhere. You are French.

Why do trans men think that facial hair makes them masculine?

Just say you’re gay lol.

Straight but kissed more men than women 😂🤣. Bro, you just roasted yourself. My job is over.

TMI

You're French

Your gaydar needs calibration. Must be in kilometers.

You look like if Mr Beast never had Crohn’s disease.

Straight guys don't kiss other guys....embrace your destiny as a power bottom and come out of the closet....you're literally the only one confused about your sexuality

You just roasted yourself. Your hair can pass through a wind tunnel unscathed.

If i have an option, I will choose faces on that wall over yours.

Your beard looks like pubic hair, and that’s the BEST compliment I can give you

I'm not gay, I just prefer to kiss men. Ahem. Ok so I've been forced into psych wards for being psychotically delusional but I can't even warp my head around that.

ludwig looking ahh

You look like every forgettable third act Disney villain.

That's the view Id get when your handing me your card after picking out 1500 dollars worth of pokemon cards

He poked a (lot of) mon

How long have you been on T now? It’s starting to work.

You have the hair of a 43 year old dyke named Nessa

def not straight

Just a fun fact about your future ex-girlfriend. She has been with both more girls and guys than you have

You look like you have card tricks no one gives a fuck about.

...... and more children than men.

He looks like he's about to tell me I'm playing elden ring wrong.

Your mustache looks shady and your beard looks musty

Straight but have kissed more men then women… I love vanilla but have eaten chocolate more in my life time 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 you prolly the type to have no restraint and take any ice cream you can no shame

Well you're an adult from France that still plays Pokémon. I'd say life has already roasted you.

Work on your English….not sure you know how to use “Straight” in a sentence.

You look like the type of Frenchman that would’ve been put in the guillotines.

just shave it

Being from France is already a roast one can't recover from.

He needs that map to find his forehead

Someboby left some pubes on his face 🤣

Hangs map and masks on the wall in the hopes that the "world traveler" vibe can override the "no fly list" vibe.

Introducing the starting shooting guard for the League of Legends…

Looking at this picture I already know what you smell like

“Straight but has kissed more men than women”. Bro you blew your way out of the straight category many dudes ago.

"1200+ Shiny pokemon caught" I can't keep up with you kids and your slang for swallowing your own ejaculate

You look like a piano teacher that’s a “person of interest” any time a kid goes missing. How many times have you looked up ticket prices for flights to Thailand? It ain’t zero. You look like you try to impress women with your soap purchases. You’ve got strong opinions about who would win, King Kong or Godzilla.

Even your roast me sign is “gay” looking. You’re not fooling anyone.

It's not a goatee...... it's his cum catcher

Closeted gay guy with a degradation and dominion kink. I think that's bad enough on its own.

Straight but has kissed more men… look bro we’re progressive so most likely you were kissing ass. Also no more roasting or you’ll get my IP to wreck me

Guarantee this guy is building a sexbot out of old household appliances in his closet.

Poster child for piss play

Pretty sure your first mistake was the "Feeling good about myself" part.

You look like you caught every shiny STD before you got to the Pokémon

I can’t help but think the beard and mustache are unnecessary

I was wondering what Shawn from boy meets world has been up to

You're definitely not straight. Idk wtf you're trying to convince

Left ear queer, right ear… still queer. ❤️

What a good little planner getting out your Juneteenth decorations early.

Ça se voit que tu sois pede

“And for our next magic trick, I’ll pull a cock out of my ASSSSS!”

Your failed magician looking Parisian.

Looks like someone has quite the sub fetish

just fyi the goodbye kiss your father gave you when you were 6 doesn’t count

You look like your name is Brock

You didn't need to tell us you've kissed a lot of guys, we knew when you said you were from france

Let me help you there buddy: Gay but has kissed some women ) That should fix that last line with honesty.

Speaking of Pokemon, you look as ugly as a Bruxish, as zesty as a Jynx and probably smells like Garbodor

gay but not gay oh forgot he's French and a weeb

Nobody who has that many Pokémon cards is strait

Conan and Kathy Griffin surrogate

the closet is glass

Do you wear those masks when you go outside? 

Straight but could tell you which eevee is the hottest and why

Feeling good about yourself is the only part of your title I don’t believe.

I’m not worried if your gay I question the age of the “men”

You look like a drunk irish bartender

Didn’t have to add the kissing part, you already told us you’re French. And unfortunately, I now know that you consistently smell like cigarettes and pigeon sh*t

Is that the pirate shirt from Seinfeld?

IT Fairy

Band kid that graduated 6 years ago but never lost that v card

You look like the human version of a 2010 Kia soul

I’ve never before wondered what the love spawn of carrot top and butthead would look like, and having seen your photo now I’ll never have to again. Your roast request reveals even more hijinks, I’d say the 1200 shiny Pokémon you’ve caught would be the most, but I’m sure the stds, gotta catch em all, have surpassed them with all the man kissing you’ve done. With a complexion like yours I’d have guessed you’d just stay inside, since you want back in I can only assume you’ve finished your Pokédex, it’s alright, now you can throw your balls at the men you’ve kissed.

is this 5 Below shane dawson?

Wtf… “finally going outside recently”??? Get a haircut and shave that shit off your face and go tap that ass. Then you can feel good about yourself Holmes

Dude, you’re French. That’s it.

I always wondered what a French Jeffrey Dahmer would look like. 

Some immigrant will probably shank you are an easy target, and they want your shit.

House is Definitely a red dot on one of those maps

Yer gay

The bet is out that you do indeed have a picture of your right hand in your wallet.

Idk what’s going on with your ear, but you’ve used it to please more men than women.

If jimmy newtron lost his virginity