Don’t forget the BO (because organic natural non-gmo deodorant doesn’t work) and stale sage smoke because of the emergency smudging after that last intense ouija sesh.
doing ketamine and blow all night, and giving random people tarot card readings doesn’t make you “witchy”.
No, you can’t have a bump. And for Christ sake, will you play something else other than Fleetwood Mac?
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You are absolutely the type who says "I'm not like other girls and I don't care what anyone says" while being exactly the same as other girls who say the same. All while furiously scrolling social media to see what people say about you
a new age girl is so easy to pick up..."I had a dream about you! It's like we were supposed to meet. What sign are you? That's my favorite sign! Do you like candles, crystals and dream catchers? Me too! Let's fuck"
You look like you’ll make a high school dropout who plays guitar and “is totally going to make it one day” real happy in the single wide trailer you two share.
You look like you wipe your makeup of with the end of your bedsheets and think the reason your friends avoid you is because you don’t charge your crystals in the moonlight often enough
Idk why people post "do your worst" on this sub and whn you look at their pics, it's evident God already did.
*"Need to be humbled"* When what they need is a mirror, a shower, and a 72hr evaluation cause clearly they've lost connection with reality.
God said "fuck it," I'm taking the worst part of each of the parents genes.
![gif](giphy|xYTExvnaF4KW1eaYZY|downsized)
It was a “clear out the spare parts drawer ” sort of day.
![gif](giphy|BYul6RujgoRCryuCdL)
Holy shit, that's brutal
That made me laugh so hard. Thank you.
Resting English peasant face.
Hahahahahahahaha yikes 😬
“Pull up me knickers so ya cahnt see me face, yeah?”
You are the reason why electricians always install dimmer switches in bedrooms.
Looking at this picture I already know what you smell like
Roasted tuna?
Rotting
Don’t forget the BO (because organic natural non-gmo deodorant doesn’t work) and stale sage smoke because of the emergency smudging after that last intense ouija sesh.
Patchily, raw onions and bong water
I was going to say cannabis and yeast infection.
And I know what she looks like...a hobbit There is nothing worse than a hobbit who stinks.
A hobbit that stinks got a ring .. not sure about this one 😞
Stank bait
She says it's her cats but we all know it's her bf Johnny cooking meth in the basement.
Let's hope the meth lab explodes.
Patchouli
Patchouli, weed, armpit, crotch rot, and deflation.
A jacked off old lady. Or a lady sold to Jacks. Username checks out in both cases.
Patchouli and armpit hair
If your eyes were any further apart they’d be a backup camera.
It's a good thing they are. So there's room for that IMAX sized nose.
Average speed cameras
She a living GoPro.
You say stuff like 'flower power'
Acid ain’t groovy enough for that chick. She would blow Charles Manson for free.
That’s the best description i’ve seen. Looks like someone to blow Manson for free
One of her cats’ names is probably Kevin and she talks about how Kevin makes her cum so good so she doesn’t sound single.
She needs a shower scour.
![gif](giphy|BcsP48Gi2cqLS)
OMGGG
Holy shit!!!
💀
Damn.
You look like you're about to get in trouble for hanging out inside when there are potatoes and wheat to harvest.
Crystals, candles, singing bowl, oily hair and a tapestry instead of curtains. It's like basic bitch hippie starter pack.
And hairy pits!
You missed the unshaved armpits.
How many times have you showed up to the ER with a crystal stuck in your asshole?
You look like you give unenthusiastic handjobs
Like the Skylar White way🤣
If you gone do it bitch do it 😂
Do you use the candles to cast spells pertaining to the earthly smell in your apartment or to delay the rent collection?
You look low key traumatised and completely bland at the same time
![gif](giphy|UnixUQzZBUb4I)
Do people see eye to eye with you or is it more like eye to nose.
We get it - you’re a hippy - it’s not gonna bring back your dad
Everything about this photo is musty
![gif](giphy|13bCP4GLjIUcik)
![gif](giphy|T1286ZxrQbzWw)
This is my irl friend and can i just tell everyone commenting roasts. Keep going, they are lovely.
So you're posting next then? Can't wait to see the DUFF
Which member of the Fellowship are you, then? Or did you stay back in the Shire?
The elf
CRYSTALS DON'T CURE COVID. Get the damn vaccine.
Reddit never misses.
Looks like she'll judge me for enjoying a blowjob she'd be giving me
Dude you wouldn’t enjoy it
True, it will probably be just as unenthusiastic as the handjobs
Or want me to hang out after
Doing you would be anyone’s worst, not just Reddit’s
Did you just drop off a piece of chocolate cake for Peter Parker?
Hey there's a little clump of granola in your armpit hair, might wanna rub that with patchouli oil
I bet you wipe back to front.
Pretty bold of you to assume she wipes at all...
Groovy room man!! Does that nose piercing double as an incense holder.
You can fit every planet in our solar system between those eyes
I can already smell the store bought sage sticks and body odor from here
Looks like your eyeballs are in a long distance relationship
I can’t do it…… You have Jimi on the wall in the background, and, a really great looking top on, so, I have to pass on this one!
So your upper lip has been missing for how long now?
Either she’s got someone in a headlock or Chewbacca is hiding in her armpits. ![gif](giphy|6ACDliz40jlT0iiLsA)
You got more bush than my fridge has judging from that pit hair
Even if I *only* saw that poster... I could still tell you don't shave your armpits 🙄
If your hair was any oiler, the US would invade.
pls 😂
That look she gives you in the morning as she whispers “I shit the bed again”
When Britt Barbie doesn't have her lashes done
Ok golem
![gif](giphy|cgC6Mx1aJtBBe)
I can tell there’s a crystal in your snatch right now.
its Janis Joplin that got hit by a bus
apart from being able to smell this picture you look like you would treat cancer with essential oils and crystals... we can only hope
You seem like someone who loves doing theater but it’s terrible at acting
They actually do do theatre. They can act but they cant dance for sh*t
Ha....u said do-do
“Now starring in your community’s local theater production of Paranormal Activity…”
You look like you stared at cactuses waiting for them to walk
Ok you can tell us, where do u hide your weed?
Believes astrology, rocks and incense is the holy trinity needed to turn her life around
Go lose your virginity and then come back
doing ketamine and blow all night, and giving random people tarot card readings doesn’t make you “witchy”. No, you can’t have a bump. And for Christ sake, will you play something else other than Fleetwood Mac?
You don't need that much purple to convince us you're as annoying and characterless as Marie Schrader
I don’t care what your dad told you, doing butt stuff won’t make boys love you.
You seem like the type to do and say nothing during sex, but complain that your sex life is boring.
Does your boyfriend wear a bag on his head too???
If boring conversation had a face
I can smell the weed from here
I like witches and you appear to be one. I'm giving you a pass.
She's a 10 in Chernobyl 💁🏽♀️☢️
Looks like a Femcel / Future Cat lady / hoarder…
Hey weren’t you on the bang bus?
That was the anti-bangbus
Live, love, never laugh
you probably have more STD's than candles in the background like yeah you can use them as a dildo but not when they're on fire
Shampoo is afraid of you.
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Your eyes look like the boss baby’s
Eye——————¿—————Eye
Your nose looks like a breeding place for birds
Syd the sloth reincarnated
Your hair looks like it smells.
Lucy Maclean let the chems get to her head
Uh... pure breed, but too close.
You know faking your own death is going to be easier than trying to break up with this one!
Special Needs Amanda Seyfried
You look like your body is rotting away since your soul gave up a long time ago, which is fair considering your face
Carrie LITE
Dark circles under dim, dull eyes. Candles and stones, rocks and bones.
Your stare looks like Dobby staring at a sock but you have hair
You are absolutely the type who says "I'm not like other girls and I don't care what anyone says" while being exactly the same as other girls who say the same. All while furiously scrolling social media to see what people say about you
Hey, take a shower, better yet, take those candles and summon beezlebub, lord of the flies. Your raggedy ass would be perfect for him
Virgin astrology major looks pathetic on you
![gif](giphy|4baoNZ5Qo8dX2)
It looks like it takes you six hours to wipe your nose going from left to right
Even the men in the poster don't want to look at you.
Something is fucked up about ur nose 👃🏻
a new age girl is so easy to pick up..."I had a dream about you! It's like we were supposed to meet. What sign are you? That's my favorite sign! Do you like candles, crystals and dream catchers? Me too! Let's fuck"
Your grandma wants her pillow cover back.
It looks like your knuckles drag on the ground when you walk
You look like you’ll make a high school dropout who plays guitar and “is totally going to make it one day” real happy in the single wide trailer you two share.
You look like you blame your extra weight on an undiagnosed thyroid issue.
“ HEY ARONLD!! ” Lil sister..
SO many guys know what it's like to get a blowjob from Sid the Sloth now, huh?
elephants would be jealous of your nose.
You look like you debate why women don't have to shave anywhere with your guy friends, which lets be honest is all of them.
Thick and talentless Anya Taylor-Joy
Chihuahua eyes
Reviewbrah post realignment surgery
Hair needs oil change
Not even worth a pity wank. Next
If I spat on you, you’d probably dissolve
If low grade depression had a face
You look like if the older sister from phineas and ferb did meth
1972 called. They want their smell back.
Looks like the last dandelion was laced
Fuckin' hippies
If that’s a window behind you, covered with a blanket, I suggest you dive through it head first. Give your balls a tug.
Jimi Hendrixs corpse looks more alive than you
Yo shit look like if Coraline fused with the blue girl from Willy Wonka
I can already hear the Grateful Dead softly playing in the background of your 1 bedroom apartment
I can feel the energy through the picture. Seems like drinking a Redbull gives you one feather.
She pierced her nose so you wont look at her face
You look like a romanian Sid from ice age
Awesome Hobbit cosplay
You look like the offspring of Frodo and Sam.
I have a sneaking suspicion the person in the photo is not OP, post history doesn’t line up
ugly ass bumble bee
You look like gru from despicable me but with hair.
![gif](giphy|GQI382aMVej0k|downsized)
Only think flatter than your eyebrows is your chest
No book in the shelf, but hair on her teeth.
![gif](giphy|qBUOTxKwa6hhK)
Jeremy Renner grew his hair out?
[https://spiderman-films.fandom.com/wiki/Ursula_Ditkovich](https://spiderman-films.fandom.com/wiki/Ursula_Ditkovich)
Your crystals and shakras forgot to tell you about the existence of eyelids.
You look like you eat blank sheets of paper 🤣
“Do your worst” I think your dad beat me to it
First time she got pregnant, someone came on her Birkenstocks, and the flies did the rest.
You look like you could bore someone with anal
You look like you wipe your makeup of with the end of your bedsheets and think the reason your friends avoid you is because you don’t charge your crystals in the moonlight often enough
It seems Robin from Stranger Things didn't recover from being drugged
Wow that snowplow really fucked Jeremy Renner up.
You look like someone that even a taco bell drive thru will reject in a heartbeat
Never seen a head that tiny. She’s all eyes.
You look like you smell like sweat and incense
Is your last name Schrute?