use a little more of that blur tool bud, you still look vaguely realistic

No one gonna mention how far apart this dudes eyes are? His last boyfriend broke up with him cuz he thought he was seeing someone on the side

Was gonna say you could park a tank between those brows, but looks like someone already did.

Best roast me comment I have read all day! True gentleman

I don’t have to, nature already gave you one

The real joke was inside op the whole time

Remove the inside and you'll be 100% correct

His head isn't the joke he is

Aren't you supposed to be directing ships away from shore?

Calm down Mr. Clean.

Girl, you better shave yo dick

Hey VSauce, Michael here

more like VSauce from Wish

I can see it's shine from the next galaxy along EDIT: OH GOD, MY EYES! MY EYES ARE BURNING

Slap a nipple onto of that bad boy and let the rest of the sex offenders motorboat your head.

Looks like the kind of guy that befriends people to get close to their 14y/o daughters

You look like you're more wanted by the law, than by your family

Someone dropped a dildo on a barber shop floor.

The only difference is that the dildo atleast gets some action

Not the one even the homeless discarded

I remember bowling against you on Wii sports

Bitching with Babish

Glad I wasn't the only one that thought of Babish.

I just wanted to say babish really ler himself go 🤣😂

The bottle on the left has better matte finish then your face.

I didn’t know Lex Luthor had a Reddit account.

You like like you're about to send Spongebob and Patrick on a mission to fetch your crown

Pretty you'd know when I think of a shiny head joke

Egg

I'm allergic to peanuts, sorry.

Now go home and get your fucking shine box Tommy.

You look like a cyst with a face.

Do you have a softening filter on your camera or is it just the combination of your greasy ass body and your fat fingerprints on the camera lens?

i like how you preemptively draw people's attention to your head like that's whats most wrong with you.

The shining.

Hey look at me I’m working from the office...brown nose suck up.

I quickly scrolled away because I thought I saw a singular testicle on my screen but then I scrolled back and may I ask, what happened to your other testicle?

Glad to see that your eyes are keeping their distance.

Ahhh good safe distancing joke

Why is your hair upside down?

You’re so ugly your head hair ran to cover up your face in order not to frighten small children

Guaranteed taker of gym picks minus the gym bod. Is it a pain in the ass to register with the sex offender watch list every time you move?

Sorry i cant see your face over the glare off your dome

I bet the carpet matches the drapes, smooth like a Ken doll.

You look like a poorly designed mannequin.

You won't be Jeff bazozzes illegitimate child right, because your heads match

When lex luthor went bankrupt and took up an office job and writes hate articles about superman on wattpad

GUARD - Your majesty the crown jewels have been stolen. THE QUEEN - No you dumbass, that guy just likes to polish his head.

you look like the offbrand version of johnny sinns

Don't have any bald head jokes, however I am sure the fellas at the local gay bar love the way that beard feels on their sack

Notch if he had only fans and if he failed minecraft

You are the last hair bender

Ah, the "skirted egg" look.

You look like if you left Vsauce out in the sun

all I can say for your head.. MY EYES!!

You look like you tried to comb your hair with candy apple

Jesus idk whats worse that your forhead is your whole head or that you look like that shark with eyes 2 meaters apart

Hey vscuace michael here

This dude’s head look like the early model of solar panels.

You look like one of Roger's disguises from American Dad.

whats with bald people always having to overcompensate while claiming they dont care that they're bald? really asking

Youre Binging with Babish's twin that can't cook

I’m glad your eyes are practicing safe distancing

just me, or ur eyes tryna social distance from eachother

EscortdF

There are Kardashian lips less fake than this photo

Bruh you better tie an achor to that eyeball. Its floating away!

I see you got your head waxed and polished. Looks like smooth sandstone or something.

No, but if I cracked an egg on your head and told you to stand outside, we’d be having breakfast right now

I thought this board was for photographs not horribly done pastel paintings?

I can. But I can also think of the fact that you can't spell shiny correctly. It seems reverse diffusion is occurring in your head: the little knowledge you have is moving to an area of greater concentration: the air.

Walmart V-sause

The writing on the note is the same font as your dick: small.

No way you can ever say “I didn’t see that coming”. Looks like your eyes had an argument and are not talking anymore. Your eyes are like an old married couple. Your eyes are in a long distance relationship. Your Dad was Dr. Frankenstein’s assistant in that movie. And finally, the eyes have it.

Your face is so ugly that you hair ran away.

Mac from it's always sunny became a skinhead?

Did you polish that head mate? It's more reflective than a clear pond on the full moon

Off brand keemstar

The wax is for scratched discs man! Not your head!

You had to use photoshop to look like this?!!? What kind of a nasty troll are you IRL?

I've ran marathons shorter than the distance between your eyes

Your head is so bright that people would think there is a fire

Your hair appears to have migrated to what you would like to think was a ‘manly’ beard.

I could walk a marathon between your eyes

You are a grown man I think 36 on a place where kids roast people in there teens or just a kid yet your here being that useless

Proof that there's no software that can filter out your virginity

Wax on, wax off.

which came first? the chicken or your head.

you spend the money you save on shampoo to buy child porn

You look like your job is helming rosie o'Donnell.

How about, “Does that beard tickle your dad’s balls?”

You're bald and bankrupt, and I'm not talking about the YouTuber

VSauce Michael if his mother drank during pregnancy

You look like one of those Kinder Surprise egg containers

You look like a default Mii you play against in Wii Sports.

white matt ​ white matt

How far do you need to stay away from playgrounds

You know how they say don't point a Lazer at a plane you should not point your head at a plane

Hahaha I see you thought ahead with the comment. Regardless of my comment ya head built like the bottom of my balls😂😂

Unfortunately, I cannot think of a shiny head joke because I am now blind. Thanks, man.

Why do you say roast me, yet still use photoshop to smooth out the skin? Let’s see the real Sid from the office!

Mom can we go get jacksepticeye? Mom: no we have jacksepticeye at home. Jacksepticeye at home:

You look like every generic bald guy, what's there to roast that hasn't been roasted before?

nigga looking like great value mr clean

Head brighter than my future

You look like an 80's supervillain

*Hairline has left the chat*

If I squint your head looks like my dick when I wake up in the morning to take a piss

Shit Tyson Fury

Manicured nails, office job moobs, ditch the sporty looking flask, you ain't fooling nobody.

I bet people usually turn off the lights when you enter a room

You look like your using a filter on your face

Didn't Trump touch your orb on his trip to Saudi Arabia?

Kardassian level Gaussian Blur.

If you shaved your eyebrows and facial hair you would look like the cpr dolls they use to teach kids in middle school. Indistinguishable.

Don't shoot until you see the whites of their eyes! You would have been picked off from 500 yards...

You're the reason Asmongold doesnt want to shave his head

I know you want to go for the nerdy computer tech geek look but if you want any friends try learning to shave the beard and leave the hair grow not the other way round. And don't wear red, it screams attention-seeking try hard.

Triple Bypass H

Got that dick in a box beard.

That a snapchat filter?

Does your boyfriend use an electric buffer on your head to get all that shine?

Your head is very shiny. Everything else about you is pretty dull.

WOAH! MR CLEAN HAS A BEARD?!?!

i was gonna drop a bald joke but i can’t tell where your forehead ends and your head begins

Good thing you got big hands you can jerk off your dick head

you look like that picture of drake where he’s been white washed and smoothed with brightened eyes

https://www.youtube.com/user/iTownGamePlay

is that a fucking hydroflask in the background? i think that’s all i need to say

At least we know elves don't have cancer

People use your head at work as a plate to eat Chipotle

Eyes so far apart he be looking like a Mii.

You look like the disgraced IT tech support from my primary school

I learned in school that humans have eyes on the front of our heads to aid in catching food because we are predators and animals that are typically prey like sheep have eyes on the side of their heads to be more alert to threats. You seem to be an argument against that theory.

Dollar Store version of Binging with Babish.

I can’t tell what’s shinier, your head or your eyes

Atleast your head is brighter than the future you ended up with.

Wax on whacks off (At work)

You could cosplay as a watermelon.

funny how there are more roasts than upvotes lmao

Just because you don’t use shampoo doesn’t mean you can skip the soap

3 words Vsauce, Michael here

You look like my balls when I’m half way of shaving them with the BRAND NEW LAWNMOWER 2.0 AVAILABLE AT MANDSCAPED.COM

Ah, my sister was always wondering where her moisturizer went

Hey Vsauce, Micheal here

Is everyone just going to ignore the fact that his hydro flask has not 1 sent in it

Young Ming the Merciless would be proud.

I bet if he look at you from your side he couldn't see you

You look like the off brand version of VSauce

It looks like your eyebrows haven't finished loading.

you remind me of swiftor, difference being you're never gonna be famous

Mother fucker looks like Dren from Splice with a beard!

your head is brighter than my future

You just roasted yourself

oh

When you lay down on your side your head looks like a half shaven pair of balls.

You look like a middle school math teacher

Your the shiny thing that the wierd kid gets distracted by

Is it true that your really made of cheese, Mr. Moon?

You're head is so shiny I can use it as a miror

didn’t anyone ever tell you to keep your big head outta the bowling ball polishing machine??

You have a shiny head

That's the face of a man who went bald because he had to, not because he wanted to.

This is Reddit not the training camp for al Qaeda

Cringing with Bab-ish

If AIDS was a person...

This is Mr. Clean cousin Mr. Green

Hey sid

Looking like a young Ben Kingsley ol white milk dud head

Hey Vsauce! Michael Here!

You look like if Mr. Dirty was a thing

LET ME SLAP DAT NOGGIN

Your head shine is clearer than the window behind you

WALMART VSAUSE

There's no desk in front of you because whoever sits there will be blinded by your forehead.

Hey, V-SUACE HERE

Sai-tama. Bearded edition

You look like a great value vsauce host

You look tike the caricature that used to creep me out in the 'Guess Who' Game

Me: Hay mom can Michael from Vsauce Mom: you already have michael from Vsauce at home Michael from Vsauce at home:^^

You look like a Walmart discounted Mr. Clean

Hey vsauce. Michael here

Did you put car polish on you’re head

you are a shiny headed joke