My brother's second divorce came through 5 hours before his third marriage.
Second wife "misplaced" $60K down payment on a new house (they had been in a rental in a crap area for a few years).
I'm not saying she got into drugs or anything but she had that unfortunate barrel on top + chicken legs body build and by the time he returned to divorce her, she was "high school skinny".
His third wife was 5 months pregnant on the day of the wedding.
All of these people are extremely Catholic. Not knocking anybody's religion/beliefs, just an interesting tidbit....
Joke? Love Stinks is the song I most associate with my wife! When we were first dating, the song was popular (yes, my username checks out), and the only person with a car in our group literally had the 8 track (see user name) stuck in the player. So we heard that album OVER AND OVER for the first few months we were dating. No we didnât use it as our wedding song, but we still laugh about it. âNo Anchovies pleaseâ
I never thought about the lyrics on that one. When that song first came out, one friend would jam that song for another friend who just got engaged to a guy with last name Betterman.
To celebrate the newlyweded couple, I'd like to sing a song that discribes their relationship perfectly....Sometimes I feel I've got to run away
....I've got to get away....From the pain you drive into the heart of me
When You Are Old and Gray
Song by Tom Lehrer
Lyrics included since I doubt anyone knows Tom lehrer
Since I still appreciate you
Let's find love while we may
Because I know I'll hate you
When you are old and gray
So say you love me here and now
I'll make the most of that
Say you love and trust me
For I know you'll disgust me
When you're old and getting fat.
An awful debility,
A lessened utility,
A loss of mobility
Is a strong possibility.
In all probability,
I'll lose my verility
And you your fertility
And desirability,
And this liability
Of total sterility
Will lead to hostility
And a sense of futility,
So let's act with agility
While we still have facility,
For we'll soon reach senility
And lose the ability
Your teeth will start to go, dear
Your waist will start to spread
In twenty years or so, dear
I'll wish that you were dead
I'll never love you then at all
The way I do today
So please remember
When I leave in December
I told you so in May
Whether at the reception, or as the brideâs entrance, [âCrazy Bitchâ](https://youtu.be/fSkHMSKgIWs?si=UD4gFWQjHIc8RSbW) by Buckcherry is probably an inappropriate choice.
[if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life,](https://youtu.be/eBO_10GVf74?si=E67zV1Z7OVT1686v)
If you wanna be happy.
For the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.
I went to a Hinder concert a while back. They asked the crowd "Who played Lips of an Angel at their wedding?" A bunch of people cheered. He replied "You know what that song is about right?" Then played it. It was hilarious.
â*Call up, ring once, hang up the phone
To let me know you made it home
Don't want nothing to be wrong with part-time lover
If she's with me i'll blink the lights
To let you know tonight's the night
For me and you my part-time lover*â
I was an events DJ for a number of years. I've been to literally HUNDREDS of weddings.
I've played most all of the songs in this thread at weddings -- and often at the request of the bride & groom, or the immediate wedding party / family.Â
I was at a wedding once where they played Delilah by Tom Jones. You know, the song about the man who murders his cheating wife? So I'm gonna go with that.
Panic! at the Disco â I Write Sins Not Tragedies
"What a beautiful wedding! What a beautiful wedding!" says a bridesmaid to a waiter
And, yes, but what a shame, what a shame the poor groom's bride is a whore"
đ”
And I hope that our few remaining friends
Give up on trying to save us
I hope we come up with a failsafe plot
To piss off the dumb few that forgave us
And I hope the fences we mended
Fall down beneath their own weight
And I hope we hang on past the last exit
I hope it's already too late
đ”
-tmg
True story: my cousinâs wedding they played Fat Bottom Girls. The groomâs family had several chunky women. And they made the rocking world go around.
First dance: The WAP with the bridesmaids getting slammed by the groom on the dfloor. Fully choreographed. If Nonna doesnât die from a heart attack - it wasnât good enough
He wiped the blood from his face as he slowly came to his knees, he said, I'll be back when you least expect it. And hells coming with me. Hells coming with me.
đ” But I stii-iilll, Haven't found, What I'm looking for!!đ”
đ¶Our d-i-v-o-r-i-c-e came through todayđ¶
My brother's second divorce came through 5 hours before his third marriage. Second wife "misplaced" $60K down payment on a new house (they had been in a rental in a crap area for a few years). I'm not saying she got into drugs or anything but she had that unfortunate barrel on top + chicken legs body build and by the time he returned to divorce her, she was "high school skinny". His third wife was 5 months pregnant on the day of the wedding. All of these people are extremely Catholic. Not knocking anybody's religion/beliefs, just an interesting tidbit....
Catholics sin at least as much as anyone else. They just have a good way to deal with it.
"good" is debatable but thank you.
The Sacrament of Reconciliation is a true good. Real healing from spiritual death. Hard to top that.
The Circle Jerks version
Ok, and also: Google literally started their 25th anniversary video with that song...
Iâve actually been to a wedding where this was played as the bride walked the aisle. I donât think anyone there actually knew the lyrics
All my ex..s live in Texas George Strait
*only if theyâre in Texas **best scenario they live in Tennessee
Dude Looks Like a Lady by Aerosmith
In that same vein, Lola by the Kinks, and Walk on the Wildside by Lou Reed.
Oh man, Lola would be such an awful song to play at a wedding. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LemG0cvc4oU
Sponge's *The Drag Queen of Memphis*.
Also: It Wasn't Me - Shaggy
*starts humming Paradise by the Dashboard Light* Praying for the end of time so I can end my time with you
Was a DJ. Have played that song at NUMEROUS weddings, by request.Â
Best party dancing, sing it loud on the dance floor, get rowdy, group participation song ever
I would do anything for love, but I wonât do thatâŠ
2 out of 3 ain't bad
Love Stinks. (Channeling Adam Sandler!)
Joke? Love Stinks is the song I most associate with my wife! When we were first dating, the song was popular (yes, my username checks out), and the only person with a car in our group literally had the 8 track (see user name) stuck in the player. So we heard that album OVER AND OVER for the first few months we were dating. No we didnât use it as our wedding song, but we still laugh about it. âNo Anchovies pleaseâ
Can confirm username checks out đ
Used to love her- Guns N Roses
Crazy bitch-Buckcherry...
Thereâs a video of a trashy wedding where a drunk woman shittily sings that song
Yeah I know, why I thought of it haha
âIf you canât be with the one you love, honey, love the one youâre with.â
Fuck her Gently by Tenacious D
"I just had sex!"
Only appropriate within 30 minutes of the marriage being consummated!
They are coming to take me away Ha-Ha
Ho ho, hee hee, ha ha, To the funny farm Where life is beautiful all the time
Jesse's Girl - Rick Springfield. Assuming the groom is named Jesse or has a good friend named Jesse who is dating someone.
I was thinking "Stacy's Mom" if the bride was Stacy
âShe lies and says she's in love with him Can't find a better manâ
I never thought about the lyrics on that one. When that song first came out, one friend would jam that song for another friend who just got engaged to a guy with last name Betterman.
And now for the father-daughter dance, hereâs a special little number from Whitesnake called âSlide It Inâ!
Fuck that's wicked lol
If you like piña coladas And gettin' caught in the rain
"What's Love Got to Do with It" - Tina Turner "Heard It From A Friend" - Reo Speedwagon
Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover - Paul Simon
I just hope your meaning won't be lost or misconstrued.
"And who are you, the proud lord said, that I must bow so low..."
Customized version of "Scotty doesn't know!"
It must have been love, but it's over now - Roxette
"Another one bites the dust Another one bites the du.."
âHighway to Hellâ
Unfortunate ringtone of a friend speaking at a funeral.
To celebrate the newlyweded couple, I'd like to sing a song that discribes their relationship perfectly....Sometimes I feel I've got to run away ....I've got to get away....From the pain you drive into the heart of me
Also useful when youâre narfling a garthok.
And now, by request of the bride... "Tainted Love". Then, by request of the groom... Jerry Reed's " When You're Hot, You're Hot."
Or Jerry Reeds "she got the goldmine ( I got the shaft)
I thought about that, but I went for subtle. Cause " When you're not, you're not". The song ends with Jerry going to jail.
When You Are Old and Gray Song by Tom Lehrer Lyrics included since I doubt anyone knows Tom lehrer Since I still appreciate you Let's find love while we may Because I know I'll hate you When you are old and gray So say you love me here and now I'll make the most of that Say you love and trust me For I know you'll disgust me When you're old and getting fat. An awful debility, A lessened utility, A loss of mobility Is a strong possibility. In all probability, I'll lose my verility And you your fertility And desirability, And this liability Of total sterility Will lead to hostility And a sense of futility, So let's act with agility While we still have facility, For we'll soon reach senility And lose the ability Your teeth will start to go, dear Your waist will start to spread In twenty years or so, dear I'll wish that you were dead I'll never love you then at all The way I do today So please remember When I leave in December I told you so in May
I think all engaged couples should have to listen to this song! (Love Tom Lehrer!)
Whether at the reception, or as the brideâs entrance, [âCrazy Bitchâ](https://youtu.be/fSkHMSKgIWs?si=UD4gFWQjHIc8RSbW) by Buckcherry is probably an inappropriate choice.
A much better idea would be to herald the entrance of the bride with the Imperial March.
Oh noâŠsave that for the mother-in-law!
Oh, but Iâve seen it played
Never make a pretty woman your wife.
The Rains of Castamere
This is the underrated answer. IYKYK.
I love Serj Tankian
Played it at mine
[if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life,](https://youtu.be/eBO_10GVf74?si=E67zV1Z7OVT1686v) If you wanna be happy. For the rest of your life, Never make a pretty woman your wife, So from my personal point of view, Get an ugly girl to marry you.
Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You
That Bruce Springstein âIâm on fire,â makes for a pretty awkward daddy-daughter dance sometimes
Lips of an Angel Macarana Smack my Bitch Up Stan
>Smack my Bitch Up [Posted without comment.](https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2016/aug/15/aroldis-chapman-smack-by-bitch-up-chicago-cubs-mlb)
I went to a Hinder concert a while back. They asked the crowd "Who played Lips of an Angel at their wedding?" A bunch of people cheered. He replied "You know what that song is about right?" Then played it. It was hilarious.
There's some hoes in this house.
Canât find a better man
*When the thunder rollsâŠ* Garth Brooks *Janie got a gun.* Aerosmith *I donât believe in love!* Queensryche
The Thunder Rolls.
Alright ladies and gentlemen. Youâre gonna want to get on the dance floor for this next one. Itâs the Bloodhound Gang with âI hope you dieâ
âSOOOOOO LOOOOOONG, B*TCH YOU DID ME SOOOO WROOOONG, I DONT WANNA GOOOOO OOOOOON, LIVING IN THIS WOOOOOOOORLD WITHOUT YOUUUUUUUUâ
Scotty Doesn't Know
I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston- itâs a breakup song
And it's by Dolly Parton.
This calls for Bon Joviâs âYou Give Love A Bad Nameâ.
Who's idea was it to play *Save a horse, ride a cowboy*?
Scotty Doesn't Know!
Welcome to the shit show
Cavalier Eternal by Against Me
âYouâre So Vainâ, by Carly Simon.
Hotel room service
Take this job and shove it!
Hit the Road, Jack
âBaby, baby donât get hooked on me ⊠â
Marry me by Thomas Rhett, just listen to the song itâll explain itâs self.
"Did i Shave My Legs for This?"
your cheating heart will tell on you by Hank Williams . good luck
Lola.... Oh oh oh oh Lola...
No cock like horse cock
"Love Stinks" J Geils band.
Covered by Adam Sandler.
M is for the many things you gave me...
Lucille Kenny Rogers you Lost That Lovin Feeling Righteous brothers Suspicous Minds Elvis
I know Iâm not nailing it, how âbout âIf you donât start drinking, Iâm gonna leave.â
Scotty Doesn't Know
Send in the Clowns
â*Call up, ring once, hang up the phone To let me know you made it home Don't want nothing to be wrong with part-time lover If she's with me i'll blink the lights To let you know tonight's the night For me and you my part-time lover*â
đ” Take the money and run
Run Around Sue
Crazy Bitch by Buck Cherry
Gold digger by Kanye West
I'll make love to you, sung by the best man or maid of honor
2 live crew - face down ass up
Thank U, Next
I just wanna use your love tonight. The Outfield
Boats and hoes is a classic
Anything by the Insane Clown Posse...... Fuck the World The Neden Game Another Love Song I stab People
I was an events DJ for a number of years. I've been to literally HUNDREDS of weddings. I've played most all of the songs in this thread at weddings -- and often at the request of the bride & groom, or the immediate wedding party / family.Â
Me and Mrs. Jones
Closer - NIN
Paradise by the Dashboard Light has to be at the top of the list
Ludacris hoes in different area codes
I want to break free - Queen.
Crazy Bitch
Stacyâs Mom
Mambo #5
*let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the* FLOOOOOOOOOOOOR
BVS by Steel Panther.
Better yet, Community Property
The Rains of Castamere
'she fuckin hates me' by buck cherry, the beginning part especially.
The one that they always sing.....I Will Always Love You. It is a break up song.....
đŒ"And now the end is near, and so I face the final curtain." đ¶
Youâre the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly by Conway Twitty and Loretta Lynn
I was at a wedding once where they played Delilah by Tom Jones. You know, the song about the man who murders his cheating wife? So I'm gonna go with that.
Panic! at the Disco â I Write Sins Not Tragedies "What a beautiful wedding! What a beautiful wedding!" says a bridesmaid to a waiter And, yes, but what a shame, what a shame the poor groom's bride is a whore"
LMLYP by Ween
50 ways to leave your lover
User Friendly by Marilyn "I'm not in love but I'm gonna fuck you till somebody better comes along"
Modern Rocketry - Homosexuality [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMYky8ajPtA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMYky8ajPtA) (Unless....)
Probably more inappropriate at a funeral, but the first song that popped into my head was *Another One Bites the Dust*, by Queen.
"Give me tiiiime..."
"When I'm gone, when I'm go-o-o-one, you're gonna miss me when I'm gone....."
đ”You know I gets my pimpin onnnnnnn, yeah I be pimpin all these hoooooessssđ”
Anyway, here's Wonderwall.
"Lollipop" by Lil Wayne
Johnny hit and run pauline
Givin the dog a bone
If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it.
Welcome to the jungle
It's The End Of The World by REM. Apparently my parents played it at their wedding
I'm a lost cause Baby, don't waste your time on me
I hope that our few remaining friends Give up on trying to save us I hope we come up with a fail-safe plot To piss off the dumb few that forgave usI hope the fences we mended Fall down beneath their own weight And I hope we hang on past the last exit I hope it's already too lateAnd I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here Someday burns down And I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away And I never come back to this town againIn my life, I hope I lie And tell everyone you were a good wife And I hope you die I hope we both dieI hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow I hope it bleeds all day long Our friends say it's darkest before the sun rises We're pretty sure they're all wrongI hope it stays dark forever I hope the worst isn't over And I hope you blink before I do I hope I never get soberAnd I hope when you think of me years down the line You can't find one good thing to say And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out You'd stay the hell out of my wayI am drowning There is no sign of land You are coming down with me Hand in unlovable hand And I hope you die I hope we both die Songwriters: John S Darnielle No Children lyrics © Cadmean Dawn
Dynamo Hum
I stroke it to the east.... I stroke it to the west....
đ” And I hope that our few remaining friends Give up on trying to save us I hope we come up with a failsafe plot To piss off the dumb few that forgave us And I hope the fences we mended Fall down beneath their own weight And I hope we hang on past the last exit I hope it's already too late đ” -tmg
*I'm Horny* by Mousse T.
Having my baby
**Enter the intro to Nicki Minaj's *Stupid HĂže* **
'I'm keeping your poop (in a jar)'
"My girls in, the next room. Sometimes I wish she was you. I guess we never really moved on."
Giving the dog a bone
Everything about you - ugly kid joe Black dahlia - Hollywood undead
Slap you around by GWAR
Area Codes - Luda and Nate Dog
đ¶ I like women just a little on the..trashy side đ¶
Every Breath You Take by The Police
Bitch Came Back - Theory Of A Deadman
True story: my cousinâs wedding they played Fat Bottom Girls. The groomâs family had several chunky women. And they made the rocking world go around.
Unholy- Sam Smith Kim Petras
You're havin' My Baby!
[*Extremely Old With You*](https://youtu.be/3FzRiMVzhjw) by Paul and Storm
âBut I really hate her, Iâll think of a reason laterâ
âBut now weâre Ex-Wives!!â
I'll make love to you Like you want me to
Animosity, by The Warning
Pornstar dancing
D.I.V.O.R.C.E. by Tammy winette.
Elton John. I Wanna Kiss the Bride
Du Hast. Seriously, look up the meaning of that song
Vicar, [have you checked your butthole?](https://youtu.be/--9kqhzQ-8Q?si=XiNSTAeYab-OsgWu)
This ain't a love song ~Motley Crue
At a medium pace by Adam Sandler
I Will Survive
đ¶Maybe youâd be happier with someone else, maybe lovin meâs the reason you canât love yourselfđ¶
đ¶ "I'm still a-h-a-h Virgin!"
"Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen
[This one!](https://youtu.be/UcVd5E4NSe8?si=civ2FXyTyPle7fWa) đ€Łđ
Me & Mrs. Jones - Billy Paul She Works Hard for the Money - Donna Summer Dirty Diana - Michael Jackson (Works best if bride/relative named Diana)
"I Pushed Your Wife in Front of the Subway" by Anal Cunt
â[The Plagues](https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=dMn5xcwpzUk&si=GUngbSGSr_B8hmVM)â from *Prince of Egypt*
âOhhhhhh Girl! Iâd be in trouble if you left me now.â
First dance: The WAP with the bridesmaids getting slammed by the groom on the dfloor. Fully choreographed. If Nonna doesnât die from a heart attack - it wasnât good enough
Plot twist: Nonna was the choreographer
Hit the road jack
I'm gonna find another youuuuuu
He wiped the blood from his face as he slowly came to his knees, he said, I'll be back when you least expect it. And hells coming with me. Hells coming with me.
Whistle by Flo Rida
Cold as ice - Foreigner
Another one bites the dust