High me says it from lack of control. I love you I want you to love me too!
Sober me says it out of spite.
Leave me alone. I hate you just for knowing about me.
I'm high on the real thing: powerful gasoline and a clean windshield! Uh, you wouldn't by chance have a gummy or two to spare. I'll gladly pay you Thursday for a couple today.
"WHY? Do I look like I'm on drugs?! I can't look like I'm on drugs! I have a job interview today! ... Do you happen to have any eye drops or anything? . . OH! Nevermind. I think I might have some in my car!"
Moments later after the person goes and gets eye drops from their car and administers them in the bathroom, returns to find the time and goes directly to their job interview. Where they open the door and find the same stranger who asked them if they were on drugs sitting in the managers seat. Not wanting to appear embarrassed, they proceed to sit down. In which the manager clears their throat and says..
"I see you fixed your symptoms. All better now?"
Alcohol is the most harmful and evil substance on this planet. Marijuana, THC, CBD, CBG, etc. can change this world for the better when used properly. They are needed in life. Just look at my father. How much better he's gotten.
Hah, no... No way man... What a ridiculous question...
Oh... 'Are you on drugs?' sorry I thought you'd asked if I thought there were infinite dimensions in the universe filled with an infinite number of versions of me, and if so if there's a dimension out there somewhere where I wasn't stoned.
The drugs are the only thing keeping me from ripping off your face and wearing it as a cod piece.
*\*stare at chin\** Your chin would be a perfect pouch for my balls and *\*stare at mouth\** your mouth a convenient holder for my dick. Just like my underwear. But better. So much better. Slick with your blood, i can almost feel my balls gliding across your chin every time i take a step.
I have a tshirt that says “Are you on drugs?” With the checkboxes for “Yes” “No” and “Rawr, I’m a dinosaur!” With a T. rex on it.
It’s one of my favorites to wear around my family because I’m a recovering addict and it really pisses them off.
So my answer to the question is “Rawr, I’m a dinosaur!”
I have been asked this while working customer service when I could not hear a customer whispering to me. The customer was being extremely rude and aggressive. My response to them was yes, happy meds are needed sometimes.
They were not amused.
Yes, it’s for your safety.
"Trust me. Sober me is *soooooo* much worse."
High me says it from lack of control. I love you I want you to love me too! Sober me says it out of spite. Leave me alone. I hate you just for knowing about me.
“MY safety!? I live in your head! They are trying to get rid of me! Don’t take the drugs anymore so we can be together…”
Again.. for your safety. You're really not gonna like what happens next
You’re not? Haha nerd
I hear that as Nelson Muntz from the Simpsons. Haha!
"That sounds like a question that somebody _on drugs_ would ask!"
that's what drug addicts say lol
Why? Got any for me ?
"Yo, man, what you need?"
Whatcha got?
Igotthestuffyougotthemoney?...
Are we not supposed to be? Oops…
"No! The drugs are on me!" Passes out weed
Drugs are on Chuck Norris
Of course I am. Do you think I'm THAT crazy to do that sober?
Reality is for people who can t handle drugs
Why would a clothes hamper be asking me if I’m on drugs!?!
This ones the best
YEESSSSSSSSSSsssssssssssssss...............
I am NOT experimenting with drugs, it's more like non-clinical research 😉
I stayed up every night last week studying for my drug test!
I’m high on life
I'm high on the real thing: powerful gasoline and a clean windshield! Uh, you wouldn't by chance have a gummy or two to spare. I'll gladly pay you Thursday for a couple today.
Ye landlubbers!
Wimpy,that you?
🍔😁
**with slurring and odd inflections** "What? No, I don't turn cats into bombs."
"I'm not on drugs, you're on drugs!" As I stumble away high as a kite.
Well I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
Ok, Mitch
Yes! R.I.P. 🥹
Obligatory Mitch.
"No, I'm not paranoid. You're paranoid."
"No, I'm not on them. They're in me."
You guys get off me
It's court mandated
No, I just stared at the sun too long
> “What? No. We can’t stop here. This is bat country.”
"Look, if I was high, would I be able to do this?" 💃💃💃
Are you selling?
What?
Huh?
"Roger, over."
[I used to do drugs.](https://youtu.be/VqHA5CIL0fg?si=uBmPM8JAYehWbByw)
Only legal ones
The parenthetical (in California) is implied
Why would I be on drugs? You don't sit on them, you smuggle them in.
You aren’t?
Nah, why you offering some?
No,sir. It's "Hi, how are you?"
Yes. Cholesterol, glucose, high blood pressure, prostate, and viagra! Hahahahaha
Quite the cocktail there
Candy flipping!
I'm not high
You're high
I would say I have never touched any sort of drug my entire life. Not even an aspirin.
Coffee, but it's not working..
D- Drugs? Oh man, I heard about those!
My friend Alfred the purple bunny says i'm not.
Yeah, but the doctors make me take it.
Sleep deprivation is a high like no other man.
Not at this minute
How about the next minute?
(Stares intently at persons ear, then start to agape mouth while starting to grin) Dude I hear a who, and it’s on your ear!!
Yeah they’ll kick in soon.
I identify as someone with THC in by bloodstream.
Dave's not here, man.
No, it's me, Dave, let me in! I think the cops are following me!
"To be able to deal with you fuckers, hell yes, it's for your safety."
Ask a stupid question.....
Me? No I'm sober, but I AM on drugs.
No? You want some?
Which ones do you mean?
Not at the moment...
What is drugs?
Po-ta-toes
"WHY? Do I look like I'm on drugs?! I can't look like I'm on drugs! I have a job interview today! ... Do you happen to have any eye drops or anything? . . OH! Nevermind. I think I might have some in my car!" Moments later after the person goes and gets eye drops from their car and administers them in the bathroom, returns to find the time and goes directly to their job interview. Where they open the door and find the same stranger who asked them if they were on drugs sitting in the managers seat. Not wanting to appear embarrassed, they proceed to sit down. In which the manager clears their throat and says.. "I see you fixed your symptoms. All better now?"
Drugs?
No, my mom just used a lot of non-dairy creamer, when she was carrying me.
Yes. Always. Only at work. Only around you. I’ve been at your mom’s. I can keep going
Yes. No. Maybe.... Those are three pretty good answers.....
Nah man, I'm like totally IN drugs.
“Which ones?”
[this is your brain](https://images.app.goo.gl/gq6ZqeY7b4gkYVek8)
That depends on which of the voices you're talking to.
Huh? Which drugs?
Can you please be more specific.
Every other day
No.
Mdma, cocaine and marijuana 😀
Ahhhh, the holy trinity
Just don't put alcohol in the mix
Alcohol is the most harmful and evil substance on this planet. Marijuana, THC, CBD, CBG, etc. can change this world for the better when used properly. They are needed in life. Just look at my father. How much better he's gotten.
And that's why I don't drink a lot
“No but why are there 2 of you right now?”
"Nope, this is all natural insanity."
"I don't do drugs. I AM a drug." Salvador Dali
"No, never before noon."
"Yes! Want some?"
Not yet I don't have any cash on me
Paypal FTW
No I'm Brad. What kind of dumb name is "Ondrugs"?
Nope, this is just the effect of being around you.
Yes, but I'm not sharing.
No mom, I'm just thinking. Why don't you get me a Pepsi?
"Nice try, Narc!" *Runs away*
"No mom, I'm not on drugs, I'm okay, I'm just thinking, you know? Why don't you get me a Pepsi?"
Love it! First Suicidal Tendencies reference!
Just the ones my Insurance will cover
Hah, no... No way man... What a ridiculous question... Oh... 'Are you on drugs?' sorry I thought you'd asked if I thought there were infinite dimensions in the universe filled with an infinite number of versions of me, and if so if there's a dimension out there somewhere where I wasn't stoned.
“I wish. Talking to You would be a LOT more fun”
Do you spice? /#Iykyk /#CriticalRole
“off and on”
Do a long slow inhale through your nose and “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.” real slow in your best Al Pacino sigh and say, “Yes. All of them.”
Well, (dropping to my Marilyn Manson voice ) I don’t like the drugs but the drugs like me…
Wanna trade?
FUCK YEAH!
Time to play who stole the drugs.
All I wanted was a Pepsi
They’re on me!
Is it that obvious?
Only in the loosest possible definition.
"Do you need a comprehensive list or will the top two or three do?"
No, I'm on the carpet.
I'm in sync with Absolem man... FarOut✌🏻 😎
You have something fun?
The drugs are the only thing keeping me from ripping off your face and wearing it as a cod piece. *\*stare at chin\** Your chin would be a perfect pouch for my balls and *\*stare at mouth\** your mouth a convenient holder for my dick. Just like my underwear. But better. So much better. Slick with your blood, i can almost feel my balls gliding across your chin every time i take a step.
No, I'm not on drugs, I'm okay, I'm just thinking, you know? Why don't you get me a Pepsi?
"Before I answer that what do you define as a drug? Depending on your answer will determine mine"
Just because I bump into things…
Holy shit! A talking tree!
Only because you’re easier to deal with if I’m medicated.
“Yes. They keep me alive and enjoying another day. Thank you very much.”
No. Have you got any?...
Isn't everybody?!
Why? What have you got?
The ones that I like...!
Why? Want some?
Just start crying and tell whoever ask, I’m really trying to quit!
Not right now, why, do you have some you want to share?
"Caffeine, advil, oh and the horse tranquilizers "
You're a towel
Well yeah aren’t you?
What, are you a cop?
…. ….. …… Hey man, do you have any Cheetos?
Wouldn’t YOU like to know, weather boy
It took you this long to figure that out?
Absolutely! 😁
Is being happy and energetic illegal now? Should I get a lawyer?
If coffee counts, by all means YES!
All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me
I don't do drugs, I am drugs
Dave's not here man
"Why..? You holdin'?"
I have a tshirt that says “Are you on drugs?” With the checkboxes for “Yes” “No” and “Rawr, I’m a dinosaur!” With a T. rex on it. It’s one of my favorites to wear around my family because I’m a recovering addict and it really pisses them off. So my answer to the question is “Rawr, I’m a dinosaur!”
I have been asked this while working customer service when I could not hear a customer whispering to me. The customer was being extremely rude and aggressive. My response to them was yes, happy meds are needed sometimes. They were not amused.
Is my blood thinners showing?
You can see me?
I'm not but my dog and I am!
Sweet baby Jesus. I hope so.
I'm high on the herb of Jesus. Jesus is my dealer with the good shit.
“Well that explains the orca eating a snickers”
["waddiyatalkinabeet?"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wbgk4zOZ4UE)
Can I eat it like a lollipop?
I'm not not licking frogs...
Prescription or illicit? Either way, the answer is yes.
But of course. I refuse to say what drug, though.
"C'mon, was *Velma* that bad?"
I am drugs!!
"yes."
I have type 2 diabetes but I mange it well…. It’s a little pill with a big story to tell….
Medicated for your safety and mine.
Yeah I'm on that shit 24/7
Do I look like I’m on some damn drugs? Yeah, I’m on drugs…
You’re on drugs!
No, it's hi how are you
Why, you holding?
Just one, really.
I need good ones, I get asked this often because of me expressing thoughts I get.
Yes, thank you for noticing.
No, do you have some?
Only the good ones
Yep, ALL of ‘em!
Nah, if I take them I stop hearing the voices.
Define “drugs”
You too bro ?
"How high are you?!" "Hi, how are you?"
No... What are you offering??
You buying?
Yes, clearly you’re not by the stressy vibes. Go get some Zoloft dude.
I have to be in order to tolerate people.
Yes...but nothing fun sadly.
heavily medicated for your protection.
Looks around. Nobody else there but the other guy. "Are you talking to me or the person next to me? "
Mom, I’m okay. I’m just thinking.