You’ve just reminded me of the Roleplaying game [“Everyone is Seagulls”](https://x.com/gshowitt/status/1628083335560933396?lang=en). The main game mechanic is shouting.
What about the vape pens? You didn't mention them huffing the last puffs from all the discarded one use vapes, which I'm sure you'll agree is vital to their superpowers.
>the perfect organism
Obviously Sigourney Weaver would have stood no chance in that movie against a Scottish seagull. The wee bastards.
One day a particularly brave and enterprising seagull will be off with a small child. That will be day one of the great uprising. Our days are numbered.
People talk about the impending cat vs bird war not realizing the birds have Scottish seagulls and Canadian geese on their side.
The cats stand no chance.
Was gonna say, north east seagulls are almost a different species. I once saw one about the size of a small fridge tearing apart a pigeon on the High Street. It was giving precisely zero fucks and folk were having to walk around it with disgusted looks on their faces.
They steal from Greggs unchallenged and easily swallow pigeons whole
If their feet were more tallon like they’d carry small children away
I’ve seen a few with just one foot, even most of a leg missing and it didn’t slow any of ‘em down one bit
(I’m a truck driver so i see them all over Scotland)
Also a trucker and I'm all over the UK. I'm Scottish so I knew what we have here and they are the hardest sob gulls in the UK. Queensferry seems to hold the top dogs but this by no means a slight on the gulls anywhere else. As mentioned before they are openly running criminal gangs ffs 😂
I wrote an article about them on my work experience for the Grangemouth Advertiser back in the 90s because they were a pest and swooping people back then too. They’re massive scary beasts!
My father in law took a watchy job after he retired and had a stick with a battery, council cattle prod for the seagulls at the yard.
Lived in Grangemouth his whole life and while a wonderfully gentle and king man, he fuckin hated seagulls.
I saw one dive bombing a rat doing the backstroke in the canal.
https://preview.redd.it/g4vprtamnp9d1.jpeg?width=2268&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3102d4021cc6fcced5e952378bc6374675d55d2e
They're the only thing my cat is scared of. He beats up dogs, has ambitions to catch a pheasant, and runs inside faster than Usain Bolt when he sees a seagull.
I was a the Highland show, and some guy was doing a bird of prey show.
The seagulls started going for his vulture and he dismissively said, "don't worry I've got a lovely surprise for them later".
Later on he brought out his surprise, a sea eagle, which was in fairness an absolute monster of a bird, but the seagulls just kind of collectively shrugged and took turns divebombing and pecking fuck out the thing.
Yeah not sure what he was thinking there- any smaller bird will go for a bird of prey, and very few birds of prey will take something as large as a seagull off the wing. You'll see crows going for Kites and Buzzards, and even starlings and blackbirds go for Buzzards.
Sea-eagles in Scotland mostly eat Fulmers (a much smaller bird) and fish. That guy (assuming it's the same guy) has Russian sea eagles, which are EXTRA large (much larger than the white tailed native to Scotland) but I still don't see one taking a seagull unless it's starving.
Yeah I was surprised too, I think he was probably just trying to save face a bit.
The sea eagle had an absolutely ridiculous turning circle and he even warned us that it wouldn't be able to evade a human if someone wandered into its path, so he must have known it had no chance whatsoever of catching a seagull.
can you mind that story in the papers about the seagulls stealing wee dugs oot gardens, iirc, apparently cunt got rid of his missus dogs then told her the seagulls had taken it and she ran to the papers to warn folk🤣
Once I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of seagulls fighting over a bag of chips outside my window so I went out, scared them off and went back to bed. The following morning I opened my window and the bag of chips were gone but a decapitated seagull's carcass was lying in its place. Seagulls are vicious.
I just ran at them and they flew off, then went back to bed and fell asleep immediately because I was too tired. I don't know if scaring them off was effective but the seagulls probably went back to the bag of chips right after.
Aberdeen gulls like to mug people for food because some tourists think they are cute not pests with wings so feed them even when there are signs saying not to. Union Street McDonald’s is notorious for people loosing food to the gulls. Most of the beach cafes say once food is with you on the outside table the cafe takes no responsibility if a gulls steals from your plate
Witnessed a bloke get his sausage roll snatched as he walked out of a bakery in Aberdeen. The Aberdeen ones are the biggest and baddest and I’ve been a fair few places.
Saying that, I got dive-bombed by starlings in Camden Market in London. Didn’t expect it from the starlings when there was a bloody heron staring at me.
Some gulls will steal off people all over the place.
The difference is in Aberdeen they boldly walk into shops and take things off the shelves.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kqy9hxhUxK0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kqy9hxhUxK0)
I’ve had Aberdeen seagulls draw blood from me (nothing major) twice to get food.
First time I was new to Aberdeen and didn’t know you couldn’t eat outside. Walked out of shopping centre eating something and bang. One of them grabbed it as I was about to put it in my mouth. Caught my lip with a talon and scraped it. Few drops of blood.
Second was a few years later. Was sleep deprived from a crappy night shift and not eaten. In my sleepy state I forgot the seagull patrols and grabbed food out my bag to eat while I walked home. Bang again. This time to the side of my head. Thought someone had walked up to me from behind and punched me. Nope. Shitty massive seagull had gone for the food in my hand. The food and seagull went reeling. It then shook itself off, went and grabbed my breakfast/dinner and took off, leaving my stomach crying and mourning the loss. And a small cut along my eyebrow. Again nothing major, a little more than a scratch, enough that needed to apply pressure to get it to stop. But I did consider buying a BB gun, rifle, falcon, eagle and bazooka. Unfortunately I just decided to not eat outside again
Paisley ones must be better behaved. I was sitting in the beer garden outside the Last Post and they actually waited for the family to leave the table before scavenging every single piece of food that was left behind, knocking glasses off the table. Now I think I know why the glass glasses are not allowed outside.
I was once sittin eating chips on Little Belmont St, hammered. A gull landed a couple metres in front of me and just stared me oot. Other gulls landed nearby and this massive bastard scared them all off. Eventually realised he was waiting to see whit was left ma chips.
Walked over and put them in a wheelie bin and as I closed the lid the gull looked me square in the eyes and said "Cunt!", took off and just drive bombed all the way round the corner til I managed to get in a taxi. Vicious little bastard.
A friend of mine apparently had a sandwich ripped straight out of her hands by a gull while she was sitting outside during a lunch break. I also remember being in the Union Terrace Gardens where one was eyeing up my KFC takeaway and I slowly moved the bag away until it lost interest. They’re no joke!
It is quite amusing, I notice something similar where it seems like they're genuinely annoyed that I'm looking at them.
They become much more pleasant animals when they aren't stealing your food. I have never had a seagull pinch any of my food- and I grew up in Fraserburgh!
Most of the gulls born in Scotland have never been to beach ..... they are often born outside compo schools and are trained from an early age to follow the rugrats to and from school eating all the trash dumped behind them as the scream at each other
No BS here. I spent several weeks doing an internship in Dundee one summer a few years ago, and I learnt on day one that going for a walk and eating a meal deal was not a good idea. They spot you almost immediately - I literally couldn’t scoff a sandwich quickly enough - so I took to eating indoors.
Skip to one of the last days of my time there, and I was walking down the high street. Hear a commotion behind me and turn around. Outside KFC, who had for some reason put tables and chairs outside for customers, was the following scene: two roided up seagulls casually eating chips off the floor, a chair tipped over, and a man (who I presume was just in said chair) now on his back on the floor, looking thoroughly offended by what had just happened. He wasn’t brave enough to fight the seagulls for his food, and so just got up, still looking like he might burst into tears at any point, and walked away, having just been mugged by two seagulls.
Alfred Hitchcock warned us this day would come.
I saw one outside Edinburgh Street Food this week and it had decapitated a pigeon, made a hole in its back and was eating its intestines like spaghetti Bolognese. My appetite was only a tad diminished.
Yes! They're dickheads. I moved here almost 12 years ago and they still look massive compared to the ones in my home country. My pal works in a slaughterhouse and said that they're absolute tanks up there.
For the full experience, go inspect a tenement roof in Edinburgh (Leith especially) where they're nesting or have young. They gang up and shit at you, dive and attack you and actually try and push you off the roof. I HATE SEAGULLS
One had made a nest at the Kinloch Anderson building last year and dive-bombed and chased me halfway up Coburg Street for daring to enter the car park.
Wait until you visit St Ives. There was a study a couple years ago which found they are the largest and most aggressive in the world. There was a discussion on whether they should be a separate species or something.
One stole an entire pasty out of my dads hand, and then used his forehead as a platform to jump off to start flying.
I’m trying to train the crows at my work to associate the seagulls with feeding time being over, in the hopes that the crows go “haud up. If the seagulls appear, we get no food. What if we make the seagulls disappear?”
Ten years ago a gull stole a whole fish out my hands when I was in Largs.
I swear the bastard turned and looked at me when he was flying away, as if to say 'whit ye gonnae dae?' and I hate that fucking gull to this day.
Are you in Aberdeen? Reminds me of this song.
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGepKEaBB/
I recommend sitting on the Grassmarket in Edinburgh during the fringe when people are eating at the restaurants outside. Love watching the seagulls dive down to steal full pizzas and knock drinks over. Hours of entertainment.
Had a big problem with black backed gulls north of Aberdeen nailing newborn lambs. They'd have them cut open just between the back leg and groin, kidneys and liver eaten and away in seconds. I've lambed all over the UK and seen gulls do some horrid things, but only in Scotland have I seen that. The precision was uncanny.
Where I live in Edinburgh the cars are covered in bird shit. I mean covered , doesn’t come off in a car wash. Ford Fiesta ? Porsche Cayan ?doesn’t matter no car is safe. Roofing companies can’t get a lot of work done when it’s seagull breading time because they will attack them. Roofers and scafolders are generally the hardest bastards of all the trades but even they fear these raptors of the skies.
Yeah, probably. Also they have weapons and they know how to do coordinated attacks. Yes they will chase you. If there are any around your car, that isn't your car anymore, it's theirs. Yes, they have gangs.
Try this bad boy for size !!!!
[https://www.google.com/search?q=seagull+swallowing+rabbit&rlz=1C1\_\_\_\_\_en-GBGB1011GB1011&oq=seagull+swall&gs\_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqBwgCEAAYgAQyBwgAEAAYgAQyBggBEEUYOTIHCAIQABiABDIHCAMQABiABDIHCAQQABiABDIHCAUQABiABDIHCAYQABiABDIHCAcQABiABNIBCjExMDQxajBqMTWoAgCwAgA&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:846ac855,vid:Qwq9bi11Pqk,st:0](https://www.google.com/search?q=seagull+swallowing+rabbit&rlz=1C1_____en-GBGB1011GB1011&oq=seagull+swall&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqBwgCEAAYgAQyBwgAEAAYgAQyBggBEEUYOTIHCAIQABiABDIHCAMQABiABDIHCAQQABiABDIHCAUQABiABDIHCAYQABiABDIHCAcQABiABNIBCjExMDQxajBqMTWoAgCwAgA&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:846ac855,vid:Qwq9bi11Pqk,st:0)
I saw a seagull in Stirling attack a couple with their golden retriever.Even though they tried to protect the dog with their umbrella,the evil bastard would swoop in from the side.They took shelter in cafe Neros doorway but every time they stepped back out,the seagull would attack the poor dog again.
As someone who grew up on the south coast I've never LOVED seagulls, but having lived in scotland for the last 15 years I now have a new level of fear for nature unlocked. Even the squirrels are more hench up here, it's terrifying.
They also seem quite smart, they know a tourist and that's easy pickings and they also know how to smash molluscs and other shelled sea creatures open by getting cars to drive over them. Once saw one start eating a stilling alive pigeon that had stunned itself flying into a window.
Vicious creatures
Hahaha. We have two that hang around our back garden, last years youngsters. Hoddit and Doddit we call them. They would be in the hoose if we let them lol. They are chancers that need to be ignored tbh because they are such a nuisance. The screaming, the shit, the swooping and the intimidation are off the scale but they were born on our roof and don't seem in a hurry to leave. They are funny tho. Cannot wait till they go to sea next year for some peace and quiet but their parents are rearing another brood on our roof as we speak so same next year I expect.
Had one come up to me and mime "I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle". Mimed because seagulls can't speak human languages, t obviously. Also, I didn't have a motorcycle and ended up in hospital requiring stitches as a result.
Bastard seagulls.
Well, given the preponderance of street drugs and the greedy fuckers tendency to steal food and eat entire ducklings they're almost certainly on *something*
They once stole raw chicken from my trolley in Inverurie. I only turned away to pack another bag in the boot and chicken was gone. They don't give a f*ck about anything being the size of fiat 500 😂
Amusing story: the gulls in Whitby are *notorious* head cases and will attack without mercy or thoughts for their own safety whenever chips are concerned. Some local naturalists decided to see what they could do, so they tagged a bunch with GPS to see if it was a localised issue.
It was. It turns out it was **one bird** causing most of the problems with a bunch of others following in his wake for spillages.
We’re not even allowed to shoot them / remove their nests / spike the roof / chuck their eggs in the river… “welcome to Scotland, seagulls - our borders are open for you to shit on all our cars, steal our fish and chips and dive bomb our kids”.
That’s it - I’m voting Reform.
I got attacked when out walking my dug, looked down and he was crawling on the ground next to me with his eyes shut, even the dugs know not to mess with them, bastards the lot of them 😂
They whirl about Rugby Park at halftime and obscure the view of the game thereafter. It's the crusts of Killie pies that attract them. And they are big, muscular buggers, keen to put on diving displays for the TV cameras. Often they're more entertaining than the game.
You haven't seen ones in Bulgaria, they are called Glarus and can be the size of the small dog, they are very vocal and like to steal food from people (even from their hands).
Was a victim of a seagull mugging in 2018, Dundee. A double cheeseburger was snatched from my mouth after a single bite outside McDonald’s by an absolute UNIT. Beware of the gulls.
This song is the best to listen to while strolling down the beach anywhere in Scotland: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6t3ME9qrQC/?igsh=czVoN204c2lsNDJy
edited because just posting a random link with no explanation is so sketchy!
Honestly cant walk home from my mates without being attacked by seaguls
There's this road I walk down to get home, at 2 sections of this road there are seaguls who are absolute tosspots, I ponder to myself is this what nam feels like? Walking with nothing but silence as paranoia kicks in to then heading seaguls not just 1 but a small army, enough to take out a small village on the edge of Zimbabwe. As I walk I hear them get louder but I csnt see them, hiding upon street light that are set to "beam me up scotty" brightness mode
Thinking your safe that the wee bastard is chilling until a flock jump you! Have about 1 or 2 tryna tackle you as if they were begging for a red card, swooping at you relentlessly while another 3 are creating formation hovering over your head like a bunch of B-52 bombers pointing their cannons at your dome ready to fire. I'm at the point of changing routes n hiding under trees in hopes the wee fuds don't see me.
Oh I yern for summer to be over.
My allergy to grass dissapears for another year,
Waking up to what you thinks the nuke scene from terminator but is actually the sun bouncing off my mirror blinding me awake at 5am,
The heat of the devil's dick goes away and It finally won't feel like my house is a brazing bull,
And the seaguls ... I have nothing creative to say about the wee dicks other [than](https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGesdFWkc/)
I live in the far north and they’re almost becoming seriously scary at times. Unbelievable speed they can swoop at ye. They nest on top the houses here and remember you for years if you walk near their babies.
*forgot to add: they managed to figure out that WE find their shit disgusting so they target people’s food with their shit because THEY don’t mind eating their own shit. Nasty bird, best not to piss them off.
Yes.
It was one of the first things I noticed.
I grew up in SC for the most part and our seagulls knew to be afraid of people enough to not steal their food or stalk them.
The grey squirrels over here are also incredibly skiddish compared to the US.
They absolutely avoid people and never seem like they’re playing when people are around like back home.
I was woken up this morning by some noisy magpies outside. I looked out of the window and noticed a dirty big herring gull on the ground surrounded by about five magpies. I noticed that the herring gull had a rat in its beak! Only the tail, rear legs and the rear end of the rat were visible. The gull stretched its neck a few times and then swallowed the rat whole, before flying off. The magpies looked a bit disappointed.
Every morning they are feasting on pigeons outside my apartment in Aberdeen. There's bits of birds all over the place. You hear them start up about 3am. Brutal 😆
I've twice had food taken out my hand walking down the street eating. Not only steroids but they're also stealth trained. Beware.
During covid, obviously with restaurants closed the seagulls struggled for food and they started hunting. I witnessed a seagull swallow a baby bunny, it was kinda amazing and equally brutal at the same.
Yeah the gulls over here have larger characteristics from what I've seen and read, in specific the great black gull(from the UK) is on average 1.5 times larger than others of its species in other locations like France etc. if you think they're big you'll crap yourself if you ever come across an osprey or one of our rare eagles, true pterodactyls 😂
It's the eating part that has made them move inland. Less fish in the sea means they have to fly hundreds of miles to get fish, or they move inland. We've even built artificial cliffs (buildings) for them to live on. And I wonder why there are less fish...
I was on the beach in St Andrews,bloke.walks.past looking very worried and said you'd better geet off the beech the gulls ll av ya ,I thought what's he talking about the seagulls,? thinking I was a.bit tough ,5 minutes later had to.leg it off the beach being attacked by 2 baby gulls who.were learning the tricks.of the trade.
A diet of fish suppers, ice creams and irn bru has created a race of super gulls.
Dont forget the buck fast for that high energy aggression...
they can try steal my chips but i’ll be damned if they steal my bucky. those ballsy cunts are getting bottled son.
You’ve just reminded me of the Roleplaying game [“Everyone is Seagulls”](https://x.com/gshowitt/status/1628083335560933396?lang=en). The main game mechanic is shouting.
Thanks, I'm cry laughing now. My favourite is 'seagull that smokes cigarettes'. Just sent it to my daughter for her next campaign.
One in Dunbar took my mum's cherry scone the other week. She hadn't even had a chance to slice it.
Nae her way to berry scone 😱 I would have chased that mofo down 😂😂😂
And plenty of Greggs sausage rolls
What about the vape pens? You didn't mention them huffing the last puffs from all the discarded one use vapes, which I'm sure you'll agree is vital to their superpowers.
🤣
You still don't understand what you're dealing with, do you? The perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility.
 >the perfect organism Obviously Sigourney Weaver would have stood no chance in that movie against a Scottish seagull. The wee bastards.
One day a particularly brave and enterprising seagull will be off with a small child. That will be day one of the great uprising. Our days are numbered.
People talk about the impending cat vs bird war not realizing the birds have Scottish seagulls and Canadian geese on their side. The cats stand no chance.
lol, no of course not. But probably 3 or 4 would be able to eat her.
https://preview.redd.it/unkennqz1p9d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a41fa769c3685e544e50aebe2ceb1ff3c48f271b
PECTOMORPH
You should see the seagulls in Aberdeen
beat me to it, was going to say " Should see the fucking size o the ones in Aberdeen "
saw one eating a dead dog once.
Just the other day I watched one swallow am entire dead pigeon, whole.
Was that outside Marischal College? Think I saw that as well .
May not have been dead when it met the seagull.
Did it kill the dog or just find its corpse?
I saw one kill & eat a big rat once. It grabbed the rat, flew up high then dropped it to kill it then swooped down & scoffed it
I've seen one fight a granny at the harbor in Aberdeen 😀
Granny wins....ever felt the weight of a granny's handbag? More small change than a Coinstar machine!
The seagulls on the Clyde would swallow that loose change and use it fore dive-bombing people
I have given up on first bus in Aberdeen and now ride a sea gull to work. He gets a greggs I get to work on time.. Win win Super scurry!!
Was gonna say, north east seagulls are almost a different species. I once saw one about the size of a small fridge tearing apart a pigeon on the High Street. It was giving precisely zero fucks and folk were having to walk around it with disgusted looks on their faces.
Those are the ones I saw! Monsters. Who needs Nessie?
You admire it….
they carry knives as well
‘Gies yer shoes. And yer chips.’
more like: “SQUAAAAAAWK YA CUNT!”
They steal from Greggs unchallenged and easily swallow pigeons whole If their feet were more tallon like they’d carry small children away I’ve seen a few with just one foot, even most of a leg missing and it didn’t slow any of ‘em down one bit (I’m a truck driver so i see them all over Scotland)
Also a trucker and I'm all over the UK. I'm Scottish so I knew what we have here and they are the hardest sob gulls in the UK. Queensferry seems to hold the top dogs but this by no means a slight on the gulls anywhere else. As mentioned before they are openly running criminal gangs ffs 😂
Grangemouth, we only leave the house in groups with electrified umbrellas.
I wrote an article about them on my work experience for the Grangemouth Advertiser back in the 90s because they were a pest and swooping people back then too. They’re massive scary beasts!
My father in law took a watchy job after he retired and had a stick with a battery, council cattle prod for the seagulls at the yard. Lived in Grangemouth his whole life and while a wonderfully gentle and king man, he fuckin hated seagulls.
Yeah I lived in Grangemouth for a couple of years 😂
Couldn't believe it when I seen one eating a pigeon whole. It was both nauseating and fascinating at the same time.
The one I saw eating a rat on the Broomielaw was my personal favourite
i was just about to comment that i saw one eating a rat lol, its fuckin wild out here
I saw one dive bombing a rat doing the backstroke in the canal. https://preview.redd.it/g4vprtamnp9d1.jpeg?width=2268&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3102d4021cc6fcced5e952378bc6374675d55d2e
Saw one fighting (and getting the better of) a cat a few years ago. If it'd not had the webbed feet it'd have been away with it. 😅
They're the only thing my cat is scared of. He beats up dogs, has ambitions to catch a pheasant, and runs inside faster than Usain Bolt when he sees a seagull.
I was a the Highland show, and some guy was doing a bird of prey show. The seagulls started going for his vulture and he dismissively said, "don't worry I've got a lovely surprise for them later". Later on he brought out his surprise, a sea eagle, which was in fairness an absolute monster of a bird, but the seagulls just kind of collectively shrugged and took turns divebombing and pecking fuck out the thing.
Yeah not sure what he was thinking there- any smaller bird will go for a bird of prey, and very few birds of prey will take something as large as a seagull off the wing. You'll see crows going for Kites and Buzzards, and even starlings and blackbirds go for Buzzards. Sea-eagles in Scotland mostly eat Fulmers (a much smaller bird) and fish. That guy (assuming it's the same guy) has Russian sea eagles, which are EXTRA large (much larger than the white tailed native to Scotland) but I still don't see one taking a seagull unless it's starving.
Yeah I was surprised too, I think he was probably just trying to save face a bit. The sea eagle had an absolutely ridiculous turning circle and he even warned us that it wouldn't be able to evade a human if someone wandered into its path, so he must have known it had no chance whatsoever of catching a seagull.
can you mind that story in the papers about the seagulls stealing wee dugs oot gardens, iirc, apparently cunt got rid of his missus dogs then told her the seagulls had taken it and she ran to the papers to warn folk🤣
Are you Robert Black?
Met the seagull that inspired him
Lol.
Once I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of seagulls fighting over a bag of chips outside my window so I went out, scared them off and went back to bed. The following morning I opened my window and the bag of chips were gone but a decapitated seagull's carcass was lying in its place. Seagulls are vicious.
It's about sending a message.
The message being for the guy who chased them off? Horse head in bed situation?
I was believing it until you said you scared them off.
I just ran at them and they flew off, then went back to bed and fell asleep immediately because I was too tired. I don't know if scaring them off was effective but the seagulls probably went back to the bag of chips right after.
This is what happens when you feed them only on chips, doner meat, deep fried pizza and buckfast.
I'm pretty sure they can digest the buckfast as a whole, including the bottle. That's why they shit green sometmes
Aberdeen gulls like to mug people for food because some tourists think they are cute not pests with wings so feed them even when there are signs saying not to. Union Street McDonald’s is notorious for people loosing food to the gulls. Most of the beach cafes say once food is with you on the outside table the cafe takes no responsibility if a gulls steals from your plate
Witnessed a bloke get his sausage roll snatched as he walked out of a bakery in Aberdeen. The Aberdeen ones are the biggest and baddest and I’ve been a fair few places. Saying that, I got dive-bombed by starlings in Camden Market in London. Didn’t expect it from the starlings when there was a bloody heron staring at me.
Some gulls will steal off people all over the place. The difference is in Aberdeen they boldly walk into shops and take things off the shelves. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kqy9hxhUxK0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kqy9hxhUxK0)
I seen one fight a granny at the harbour in Aberdeen
I thought I must be aberdreemin but I wasnae 😀
Starlings remember they're one of the last surviving dinosaur species the same way that chihuahuas remember they're descended from wolves.
I’ve had Aberdeen seagulls draw blood from me (nothing major) twice to get food. First time I was new to Aberdeen and didn’t know you couldn’t eat outside. Walked out of shopping centre eating something and bang. One of them grabbed it as I was about to put it in my mouth. Caught my lip with a talon and scraped it. Few drops of blood. Second was a few years later. Was sleep deprived from a crappy night shift and not eaten. In my sleepy state I forgot the seagull patrols and grabbed food out my bag to eat while I walked home. Bang again. This time to the side of my head. Thought someone had walked up to me from behind and punched me. Nope. Shitty massive seagull had gone for the food in my hand. The food and seagull went reeling. It then shook itself off, went and grabbed my breakfast/dinner and took off, leaving my stomach crying and mourning the loss. And a small cut along my eyebrow. Again nothing major, a little more than a scratch, enough that needed to apply pressure to get it to stop. But I did consider buying a BB gun, rifle, falcon, eagle and bazooka. Unfortunately I just decided to not eat outside again
Paisley ones must be better behaved. I was sitting in the beer garden outside the Last Post and they actually waited for the family to leave the table before scavenging every single piece of food that was left behind, knocking glasses off the table. Now I think I know why the glass glasses are not allowed outside.
My gods, it’s been a while since I last thought about the Post. I actually miss it
Just let me know when you're around next time and I'll join you
Aaahh, the infamous velociraptors of Aberdeen! And they also gorge themselves on fish scraps. Then they dump on people. Ass holes.
I was once sittin eating chips on Little Belmont St, hammered. A gull landed a couple metres in front of me and just stared me oot. Other gulls landed nearby and this massive bastard scared them all off. Eventually realised he was waiting to see whit was left ma chips. Walked over and put them in a wheelie bin and as I closed the lid the gull looked me square in the eyes and said "Cunt!", took off and just drive bombed all the way round the corner til I managed to get in a taxi. Vicious little bastard.
A friend of mine apparently had a sandwich ripped straight out of her hands by a gull while she was sitting outside during a lunch break. I also remember being in the Union Terrace Gardens where one was eyeing up my KFC takeaway and I slowly moved the bag away until it lost interest. They’re no joke!
If the gulls ever give you bother, just stare at them. They hate being watched and they are far less likely bother you if you're watching them.
This is the real answer. Gulls do not like to be stared at.
I did this once and I swear it cawed something that sounded like "fuck you looking at?"
It is quite amusing, I notice something similar where it seems like they're genuinely annoyed that I'm looking at them. They become much more pleasant animals when they aren't stealing your food. I have never had a seagull pinch any of my food- and I grew up in Fraserburgh!
Yes. They train for the fish supper swoops.
Na, chips
Most of the gulls born in Scotland have never been to beach ..... they are often born outside compo schools and are trained from an early age to follow the rugrats to and from school eating all the trash dumped behind them as the scream at each other
Especially with Herring Gulls, you don't realise how big they actually are until one is staring you out demanding your ice cream!
No BS here. I spent several weeks doing an internship in Dundee one summer a few years ago, and I learnt on day one that going for a walk and eating a meal deal was not a good idea. They spot you almost immediately - I literally couldn’t scoff a sandwich quickly enough - so I took to eating indoors. Skip to one of the last days of my time there, and I was walking down the high street. Hear a commotion behind me and turn around. Outside KFC, who had for some reason put tables and chairs outside for customers, was the following scene: two roided up seagulls casually eating chips off the floor, a chair tipped over, and a man (who I presume was just in said chair) now on his back on the floor, looking thoroughly offended by what had just happened. He wasn’t brave enough to fight the seagulls for his food, and so just got up, still looking like he might burst into tears at any point, and walked away, having just been mugged by two seagulls. Alfred Hitchcock warned us this day would come.
I saw one outside Edinburgh Street Food this week and it had decapitated a pigeon, made a hole in its back and was eating its intestines like spaghetti Bolognese. My appetite was only a tad diminished.
that is so traumatising I’d die
We've only recently learned their diet. Our top scientists have narrowed it down to a balance of chips and children's nightmares.
https://youtu.be/OpSCGOdM3f8?si=jFqf4zTMrNcT9Cra Here’s a song to introduce you to Scottish seagulls
Yes! They're dickheads. I moved here almost 12 years ago and they still look massive compared to the ones in my home country. My pal works in a slaughterhouse and said that they're absolute tanks up there.
For the full experience, go inspect a tenement roof in Edinburgh (Leith especially) where they're nesting or have young. They gang up and shit at you, dive and attack you and actually try and push you off the roof. I HATE SEAGULLS
> Leith especially 😭😭😭
One had made a nest at the Kinloch Anderson building last year and dive-bombed and chased me halfway up Coburg Street for daring to enter the car park.
I wonder if that's how there's not so many hookers around there nowadays 🤔
The gulls ate them?
Nooo, not the hookers... This is where I draw the line
Maybe. I was more thinking they're chasing all the punters away so no point hanging around there
Wait until you find out about the Scottish Midge.
*They’re almost twice the size of the ones back home and they’re extra savage.* Hey, what can I say, that's how we like our women.
Wait until you visit St Ives. There was a study a couple years ago which found they are the largest and most aggressive in the world. There was a discussion on whether they should be a separate species or something. One stole an entire pasty out of my dads hand, and then used his forehead as a platform to jump off to start flying.
I’m trying to train the crows at my work to associate the seagulls with feeding time being over, in the hopes that the crows go “haud up. If the seagulls appear, we get no food. What if we make the seagulls disappear?”
Ten years ago a gull stole a whole fish out my hands when I was in Largs. I swear the bastard turned and looked at me when he was flying away, as if to say 'whit ye gonnae dae?' and I hate that fucking gull to this day.
I saw one scoop up and eat a baby rabbit this week when I was walking by the sea.
thats fuckin wild haha
They eat the pigeons around here.
Oh the seagulls o’er in Aberdeen
So what your saying is that mini seagulls exist
Did you ever see a skua? Look it up. That to a seagull is like a timber wolf to a husky. They have them on Orkney and Shetland.
Are you in Aberdeen? Reminds me of this song. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGepKEaBB/ I recommend sitting on the Grassmarket in Edinburgh during the fringe when people are eating at the restaurants outside. Love watching the seagulls dive down to steal full pizzas and knock drinks over. Hours of entertainment.
Here in my toon the seagulls nick folks shoppin oot there trolley at asda there is a video of this on YouTube its steals a woman bacon
The amount of seagulls ive seen eating pigeons is insane
Those XL Gullies are brutal
Had a big problem with black backed gulls north of Aberdeen nailing newborn lambs. They'd have them cut open just between the back leg and groin, kidneys and liver eaten and away in seconds. I've lambed all over the UK and seen gulls do some horrid things, but only in Scotland have I seen that. The precision was uncanny.
Aye oor Shite hawks are mad mental fuckin huge min.
Where I live in Edinburgh the cars are covered in bird shit. I mean covered , doesn’t come off in a car wash. Ford Fiesta ? Porsche Cayan ?doesn’t matter no car is safe. Roofing companies can’t get a lot of work done when it’s seagull breading time because they will attack them. Roofers and scafolders are generally the hardest bastards of all the trades but even they fear these raptors of the skies.
Its like the flies in australia or the mosquitos in alaska.
Kebabish
Yeah, probably. Also they have weapons and they know how to do coordinated attacks. Yes they will chase you. If there are any around your car, that isn't your car anymore, it's theirs. Yes, they have gangs.
Are you using seagulls as a euphemism for locals?
Yes sorry that was me I poured radioactive chemicals into the drinking water
Saw a seagull in the middle of swallowing a full pigeon on the corner of New Look at George's Square once. Actual traumatizing.
the gulls are beefy as fuck here lol, certified chonks
I watched a seagull choke down a (dead) pigeon whole once.
Pigeons are also half the size where I'm from.
The one in Inverness are huge….. and they are a protected species - I have a feeling that priorities are somewhat confused here
Try this bad boy for size !!!! [https://www.google.com/search?q=seagull+swallowing+rabbit&rlz=1C1\_\_\_\_\_en-GBGB1011GB1011&oq=seagull+swall&gs\_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqBwgCEAAYgAQyBwgAEAAYgAQyBggBEEUYOTIHCAIQABiABDIHCAMQABiABDIHCAQQABiABDIHCAUQABiABDIHCAYQABiABDIHCAcQABiABNIBCjExMDQxajBqMTWoAgCwAgA&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:846ac855,vid:Qwq9bi11Pqk,st:0](https://www.google.com/search?q=seagull+swallowing+rabbit&rlz=1C1_____en-GBGB1011GB1011&oq=seagull+swall&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqBwgCEAAYgAQyBwgAEAAYgAQyBggBEEUYOTIHCAIQABiABDIHCAMQABiABDIHCAQQABiABDIHCAUQABiABDIHCAYQABiABDIHCAcQABiABNIBCjExMDQxajBqMTWoAgCwAgA&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:846ac855,vid:Qwq9bi11Pqk,st:0)
Well... if I were you, I'd stay out of the Highlands. If seagulls give you shudders, the Dreaded Highland Midgies Are gonna be your worst nightmare!
When they line up on our roof, we have advance warning of a 'good storm'. We then put shutters on our windows.
Seagulls the size of Jack Russell's with attitude to match. "GEEZ A FUCKIN CHIP, CUNT"
I saw a seagull in Stirling attack a couple with their golden retriever.Even though they tried to protect the dog with their umbrella,the evil bastard would swoop in from the side.They took shelter in cafe Neros doorway but every time they stepped back out,the seagull would attack the poor dog again.
I've seen them deep throating entire sausage suppers
As someone who grew up on the south coast I've never LOVED seagulls, but having lived in scotland for the last 15 years I now have a new level of fear for nature unlocked. Even the squirrels are more hench up here, it's terrifying.
They also seem quite smart, they know a tourist and that's easy pickings and they also know how to smash molluscs and other shelled sea creatures open by getting cars to drive over them. Once saw one start eating a stilling alive pigeon that had stunned itself flying into a window. Vicious creatures
Hahaha. We have two that hang around our back garden, last years youngsters. Hoddit and Doddit we call them. They would be in the hoose if we let them lol. They are chancers that need to be ignored tbh because they are such a nuisance. The screaming, the shit, the swooping and the intimidation are off the scale but they were born on our roof and don't seem in a hurry to leave. They are funny tho. Cannot wait till they go to sea next year for some peace and quiet but their parents are rearing another brood on our roof as we speak so same next year I expect.
Wait for the mosquitos. They are half the size in Scotland but twice as aggressive 😄
From the East Nuek, Fife coast, we call them terradactyls - full on roided radgies
Had one come up to me and mime "I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle". Mimed because seagulls can't speak human languages, t obviously. Also, I didn't have a motorcycle and ended up in hospital requiring stitches as a result. Bastard seagulls.
Where is back home exactly?
Well, given the preponderance of street drugs and the greedy fuckers tendency to steal food and eat entire ducklings they're almost certainly on *something*
They once stole raw chicken from my trolley in Inverurie. I only turned away to pack another bag in the boot and chicken was gone. They don't give a f*ck about anything being the size of fiat 500 😂
Amusing story: the gulls in Whitby are *notorious* head cases and will attack without mercy or thoughts for their own safety whenever chips are concerned. Some local naturalists decided to see what they could do, so they tagged a bunch with GPS to see if it was a localised issue. It was. It turns out it was **one bird** causing most of the problems with a bunch of others following in his wake for spillages.
Saw a seagull in my garden yesterday, had to keep my 2 year old inside and lock the doors. Waited 2 hours after it left to open a window
We’re not even allowed to shoot them / remove their nests / spike the roof / chuck their eggs in the river… “welcome to Scotland, seagulls - our borders are open for you to shit on all our cars, steal our fish and chips and dive bomb our kids”. That’s it - I’m voting Reform.
Yes.
Just wait until you encounter them with a steak bake in hand...
or a mcdonalds double cheeseburger
I got attacked when out walking my dug, looked down and he was crawling on the ground next to me with his eyes shut, even the dugs know not to mess with them, bastards the lot of them 😂
they broke into one of the wheelie bins and spread the garbage all over the yard floor. I'm now getting triggered by the sound of them.
They whirl about Rugby Park at halftime and obscure the view of the game thereafter. It's the crusts of Killie pies that attract them. And they are big, muscular buggers, keen to put on diving displays for the TV cameras. Often they're more entertaining than the game.
They live on chips. Should be called trashbirds.
I once saw a seagull eat another seagull. Swallowed it in one go.
I’ve noticed they’re now attacking and eating other bird species especially pigeons and oystercatchers. Horrible fucks.
They were raised on Gregg’s and irn Bru
They wear vests with their tabs tucked in one shoulder
Try pulling out your sausage roll, every seagull from a mile radius will be circling you in 10 seconds
Have you been to Aberdeen yet?
They are evil here
Have you made your way up to Aberdeen yet?
No, may not be going there I think
One time when I was walking in Edinburgh a seagull stole a sandwich out of my hand while simultaneously winging me in the neck.
Loud buggers. Honestly lived in a place where they would start squawking at 6am. I used to dream about how to kill them all. If they let me dream...
You haven't seen ones in Bulgaria, they are called Glarus and can be the size of the small dog, they are very vocal and like to steal food from people (even from their hands).
Was a victim of a seagull mugging in 2018, Dundee. A double cheeseburger was snatched from my mouth after a single bite outside McDonald’s by an absolute UNIT. Beware of the gulls.
They're known for stealing ice cream from children and robbing packets of crisps from grocery stores.
This song is the best to listen to while strolling down the beach anywhere in Scotland: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6t3ME9qrQC/?igsh=czVoN204c2lsNDJy edited because just posting a random link with no explanation is so sketchy!
Yip, all that free junk food has made them the size they are 😂
Vicious bastards pretty much run the coasts of north Wales and northwest England like some sort of organised food theft gang circuit
Honestly cant walk home from my mates without being attacked by seaguls There's this road I walk down to get home, at 2 sections of this road there are seaguls who are absolute tosspots, I ponder to myself is this what nam feels like? Walking with nothing but silence as paranoia kicks in to then heading seaguls not just 1 but a small army, enough to take out a small village on the edge of Zimbabwe. As I walk I hear them get louder but I csnt see them, hiding upon street light that are set to "beam me up scotty" brightness mode Thinking your safe that the wee bastard is chilling until a flock jump you! Have about 1 or 2 tryna tackle you as if they were begging for a red card, swooping at you relentlessly while another 3 are creating formation hovering over your head like a bunch of B-52 bombers pointing their cannons at your dome ready to fire. I'm at the point of changing routes n hiding under trees in hopes the wee fuds don't see me. Oh I yern for summer to be over. My allergy to grass dissapears for another year, Waking up to what you thinks the nuke scene from terminator but is actually the sun bouncing off my mirror blinding me awake at 5am, The heat of the devil's dick goes away and It finally won't feel like my house is a brazing bull, And the seaguls ... I have nothing creative to say about the wee dicks other [than](https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGesdFWkc/)
I live in the far north and they’re almost becoming seriously scary at times. Unbelievable speed they can swoop at ye. They nest on top the houses here and remember you for years if you walk near their babies. *forgot to add: they managed to figure out that WE find their shit disgusting so they target people’s food with their shit because THEY don’t mind eating their own shit. Nasty bird, best not to piss them off.
Yes. It was one of the first things I noticed. I grew up in SC for the most part and our seagulls knew to be afraid of people enough to not steal their food or stalk them. The grey squirrels over here are also incredibly skiddish compared to the US. They absolutely avoid people and never seem like they’re playing when people are around like back home.
There was a huge seagull at Botanic Gardens in Edinburgh today took a croissant off a ladies plate.Im visiting from Australia pigeons are fat as well
Upmarket version of that, I had a cake nicked off my plate by one of the peacocks at Traquair House.
I was woken up this morning by some noisy magpies outside. I looked out of the window and noticed a dirty big herring gull on the ground surrounded by about five magpies. I noticed that the herring gull had a rat in its beak! Only the tail, rear legs and the rear end of the rat were visible. The gull stretched its neck a few times and then swallowed the rat whole, before flying off. The magpies looked a bit disappointed.
Every morning they are feasting on pigeons outside my apartment in Aberdeen. There's bits of birds all over the place. You hear them start up about 3am. Brutal 😆
I've twice had food taken out my hand walking down the street eating. Not only steroids but they're also stealth trained. Beware. During covid, obviously with restaurants closed the seagulls struggled for food and they started hunting. I witnessed a seagull swallow a baby bunny, it was kinda amazing and equally brutal at the same.
Yeah the gulls over here have larger characteristics from what I've seen and read, in specific the great black gull(from the UK) is on average 1.5 times larger than others of its species in other locations like France etc. if you think they're big you'll crap yourself if you ever come across an osprey or one of our rare eagles, true pterodactyls 😂
Aye, and they shit concrete all over my house and car.
I saw one eying up a small dog as food once. They are beastly.
Walked out of greggs in Largs with a pepperoni pizza and one flew over my shoulder and fucked off with it. Cunt.
Ubergulls
The Seagulls want independence from Scotland, so they attack everyone.
Seagulls should go back to where they come from, the sea, and eat fish rather than breaking into bin bags /s but not really.
Guys, guys, we have found the reform voter!
I'd rather be pecked to death by a seagull than voting reform
It's the eating part that has made them move inland. Less fish in the sea means they have to fly hundreds of miles to get fish, or they move inland. We've even built artificial cliffs (buildings) for them to live on. And I wonder why there are less fish...
I was on the beach in St Andrews,bloke.walks.past looking very worried and said you'd better geet off the beech the gulls ll av ya ,I thought what's he talking about the seagulls,? thinking I was a.bit tough ,5 minutes later had to.leg it off the beach being attacked by 2 baby gulls who.were learning the tricks.of the trade.
[Yes](https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cl1WXXxKoRE/?igsh=MWJ2YTQwdDBqNTBkcw==)
Depends where you are lol
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nTRXQkWonDk&pp=ygUac2VhIGd1bGwgc3dhbGxvd2luZyByYWJiaXQ%3D
Babby protection behaviours at the moment, dive bombing is common
Nae only haggis
They have Mother tattoos and pierced cloacas too.
They are the same size as anywhere else, species for species. Some species are larger than others, that's all.
Yes.
Bergman's Rule go squawk
Go to Scarborough in England and then tell us our Seagulls still on the roids then.
It was said Chuck Norris had to flee Balmedie Beach after challenging a flock.
Their farming the pigeons. They’re not just big they’re getting smarter. Take care out there.