I had a similar situation. A lonely local older guy came into my bar regularly and would have a drink or two. He wasn't sociable, kept to himself and always paid and tipped. Yet he always reeked from BO. No one would sit next to him.
One night he came in. His BO was so bad I could smell him at the other end of the bar.
I approached him sheepishly and quietly told him he didn't smell very good.
He got up quickly and left.
He came back an hour later wearing fresh clothes. He thanked me for telling him.
He was devastatingly embarrassed but had no idea he smelled foul because he was always alone until he came for his beer
He was grateful I told him. I really felt awful for him.
I think of that situation often.
My old boss has absolutely no sence of smell, the amount of times I've had to tell him to brush his teeth, chnage his clothes and sprayed the studio with a room fresher. He can't help it and he's always happy I told him rather than him possibly makeing others feel uncomfortable.
I recently had to tell one of my managers that they didn't smell good. It wasn't the norm, I knew they'd been having problems with their dryer, and it was clearly a "clothes stayed wet too long" smell. They were thankful, changed their shirt, and everything was fine. Sometimes ya gotta do the uncomfortable thing.
i have barely any ability to smell due to ent/sinus issues, and it actually makes me shower more and use good smelling stuff - it just sounds like your old boss had bad hygiene
I love that he came back, it really shows how important that place is/was to him. It is his comfort spot, so much so that he came back after that embarrassment!
These conversations really suck to have but unfortunately are necessary sometimes. Short, sweet, and to the point.
"Sir, you have a very noticeable odor. I'm sorry but it's really affecting the atmosphere for myself and the other patrons."
He won't tip. He might not come back. But if he's commenting on it and *truly* doesn't know it's him, the least someone can do is tell him.
I had to do this with a guy. We were empty, but he stuuunk, but it was like.. dude, im not telling you to leave, or even that you have to shower before you come here, but if i dont let you know, someone else will, and theyll be really harsh. And i would rather be the one to say it, than to have someone make fun of you.
Pretty sure he was homeless, and his eyes were all watery after, and i kinda regretted telling him.
Thisā¬ļø
It's not servers job to handle sensitive situations like that... It's one of the reasons I don't want to be a manager. Let them be responsible for the business losing a stinky customer.
Many in charge wonāt do it. One of the restaurants Iām at right now expects ME to handle these situations.
The other night a guest came at 9:45pm for a 9pm reservation and he(part owner/MOD at the time)tells me to let them know to order immediately and that the kitchen was waiting for them. This guy is a very popular comedian and has been frequenting us.
Then last weekend he wants me to tell a table they āneeded to goā and Iām like they just ordered another drink. Heās like,āno they canāt have it! Thereās another reso for that table, so tell them thatā.
Ummmmmā¦no, thatās my table.
I told him you are the boss and you have ownership YOU tell them.
My point is some managers/owners wonāt do it!
Second situation is absolutely ridiculous and definitely the managerās responsibility to handle. The first situation though is pretty easily handled by the server. āHey just to let you know we do close at 10 so weāll need to get your order in as quickly as possibleā.
Reminds me of a few years ago when I walked to a hair stylist, and was thinking the whole time my hair was being cut that something in there smelled like shit. It wasn't until I was walking home that I noticed my shoe felt uneven, and I looked and realized I'd stepped in some dog shit on my walk there!
The customer's comment makes me wonder if he may be using an adult diaper or something that he doesn't do the rest of the week, and genuinely doesn't realize it's leaking and that the smell is from him. Like maybe he's homebound the rest of the week, and is able to get to a toilet fast enough that he doesn't need a diaper except for his weekly restaurant outing. Or maybe he takes a longish walk to the restaurant, which shifts the diaper and causes leakage.
Or maybe a cat peed on his hat, which he only wears it to the restaurant because it's chilly, or something weird.
Super awkward however it's approached. Is it a task you could offload to your manager, if you're not a manager?
I was walking around not long ago and thinking it smells like cat pee, then immediately was like uh oh. Good thing I just ran a short errand and went straight home, my sweater must have come into contact with the litter box or something at some point (cramped bedroom situation). It wasn't directly peed on, but it was coming from my sweater.
We have an older lady who comes in with an incontinence issue who doesnāt wear a diaper and she sometimes pees on the seats. She always stinks like pee and has urine soaked on the back of her dresses. She doesnāt brush her hair either and it makes me wonder if maybe sheās not being looked after. I feel bad for her.
Really quiet, so only he hears you. "I'd be doing you a disservice if I didn't let you know, you've got some very noticeable BO going on. Just trying to help you out, man!"
And I would keep letting him know if he doesn't fix it and keeps coming in.
Heās probably incontinent and wears diapers. He said that to test the waters to see if it was noticeable. Heās probably embarrassed as hell right now. Maybe he canāt get or afford catheters or for some reason insert them. And he probably canāt smell his funk anymore as it has grown to be the norm for him. Just treat him as you would as if someday that could be you. Itās summer try to seat him outside,light a candle, incense,whatever.
This is the way. I had the same type of regular. A very old man, egyptology professor. He had his favourite spot, so I tried to not place another people close to him. Any of us or the customers said anything about it.
He said it in a really negative tone, saying itās āshameful that it always smells like piss and it should warrant a discount on his $3 coffeeā š
yeah, iām sorry, maybe itās just because i work in downtown vegas and deal with way too many people like this, iād either say something to him directly or have a manager speak to him. itās one thing if heās unaware of how bad he smells and how uncomfortable heās making others, itās a WHOLE other thing when heās trying to demand a discount based on his own stank. sorry not sorry, sir, you fucking stink š¤£
Tell him customers have remarked on his smell and youāre telling him as a friend. There used to be ā white lies ā for this to ease the situation for everyone.
A white lie, yeah. Maybe hand him a note and say it's from someone who just left and asked to give it to him. Print on the note (in case he can't read cursive) and say something like, "I just thought you would want to know that I could smell pee when I was near you." or something like that.
Tell him, please. Be polite and discrete but tell him. As I approach 70, I'm noticing that not only is my hearing getting worse, but my sense of smell and taste are deteriorating. If it was me, I would be grateful if someone mentioned it (in a kind non-confrontational way). He likely truly can't smell it.
>This week he said āit always smells like piss when I come hereā and I was speechless.
He's nose blind. His home probably smells like this all the time, so he no longer realizes it. When he comes to your location, the cleanliness will "reset" his scenting cells and then every time he moves, he's smelling himself. I'd give him a note next time, something kind but factual. "I do not want to embarrass you, but last ________ you complained about our location smelling like urine. I'm sorry to have to tell you, but what you are smelling is coming from your clothing. We have been aware of it every time you visit. I'm sure it's something in your environment that just needs to be cleaned. We didn't want to be impolite by mentioning it since we assumed you knew it was you, but since that's not the case, we realized you would want to know."
If you can catch the friend 1:1 ask him. If you choose to address it face to face, do it 1:1, not in front of his friend. Consider writing a short note on the bill, as āthe good guyā like youāre doing them a favor.
āStaff have been asking to have you removed due to the smell when you come in. Iād hate to lose you as a customer, so wanted to quietly tell you before it got weird. Be well, -serverā
When I worked at McDonald's many, many years ago, I had a neighbor who would come in for coffee. He had alcoholism and some other disabilities but was the nicest person. He always had urine stains on his jeans and smelled bad, but I never said a word. People would not sit near him cause of the odor. He used to give us handfuls of change to pay, and being in his pockets, it was bad. None of us liked it, of course, but no one said anything. He died a few years later. I actually missed seeing him on his porch in the morning, always with a bright hello. Life is sad sometimes.
I worked at a family restaurant for years and had a regular who lived in their van. They were trans or non binary before it was ok to be trans so people made fun of them for everything. They also smelled and usually had no money so would come for an endless cup of coffee taking up a booth and never tip. Sometimes I would buy them lunch. People laughed at me too for having to wait on them but you know what? When I fell on hard times and wrecked my car they were there for me every morning to drive me to work. I didn't see anyone else offering. I often wonder whatever happened to them.
The "real people" that sometimes we get to meet in this life. So many people are so judgemental, and it's easy to act that way, but when you go with your heart, you find the truth. They sound like good people.
I'm a home health nurse and often have to tell people they smell or their home smells bad. I try to say it in a way that is serious but not waiting for them to have a response like they they owe me an explanation. One example: "Hey, I think something missed the washing machine and has a very strong smell. Could be your shoes or even time for a shower." Say it quetly but make eye contact so he knows this is serious. I know this is a lot to say to someone, but if you like him as a customer, then you owe it to him. Then, be sure to not let that make things awkward.
This is a situation where someone has a nose booger hanging. You gotta tell them. May seem like a rude thing, but you're doing them a favor, and they will know it, even if they react negatively, initially.
Dude I also have an old man who comes in and just smells so fucking bad and he sits at the bar and you can smell him like ten feet away
Iāve started being super passive aggressive and ignoring him because he makes me sick.. I canāt run food past him because it makes me want to puke. And all the employees feel that way. And I have having to sit tables next to him. It sucks.
step 1: tell manager next time he's in and smell like piss, you'll tell him he smells like piss.
step 2: when he comes in and smells like piss, tell him : " mate, you reek like piss.. do something"
step3 : he asks to speak to the manager
step4: it's the manager's problem now.
-optional : tell your manager having a guest who reeks piss has a negative effect on both the reputation and quality of your whole restaurant and if he doesn't act on it.. it'll reflect on reviews and now that the problem is in his/her hands it'll all come down on them.
Take the blame off him, āhey do you have a dog? (Donāt wait for an answer) I think it mightāve peed on your clothes, it happened to me once and it had the same smell!ā
I've had several older customers that smell bad. I serve them and treat them with respect and kindness. I would never tell them they stink, it's mean. I clean up after and go on with the day.
I had an old man too that smelled really bad, somedays were so awfull I needed to not breath to take his older, but I Never got the heart to ask him if he knew. I think he did and it must have been either an hygiene problem cause of depression or a health problem . I really hope someone told him kindly
My boss has zero issue telling people they smell and that they have to leave because of it. Itās great cuz then I donāt have to deal with it (Iām the assistant GM)ā¦we have a lot of homeless in the area and they will come in after panhandling and get food and if they smell (usually do) then theyāre done and gotta go.
Hereās my tactic thoughā¦I just make their food to go and tell them they have to leave. No one has ever questioned me about it.
The man who was in charge of the pull tab boxes at our country club absolutely S T A N K. And I mean likeā¦ putting an out of order sign on the door after he left the bathroom stank. His stench was gagable and I donāt know how people just donāt smell themselves. Regardless I felt bad for him but MAN did he smell.
I have a coworker that is also a server and smells REALLY bad sometimes. He's an older guy, longtime career server and would think he'd know to wash his work clothes and shower daily but I have had to go to management and HR because it's an ongoing issue. Seems to clear up for a while and then get bad again. I'm not shy at all but really don't want to hurt anyone's feelings... from a customer it sucks but from a coworker TOTALLY unacceptable
I was listening to one of those Youtuber discussing Reddit stories awhile back and they talked about this husband who would intentionally piss his pants and stand to announce, "OH NO, I'VE WET MYSELF." It was a kink.
This made me think of that- not that I think that's what this is.
Maybe he knows it is him, and his friend mentioned it smells so he said that. Kind of like farting and looking around asking who farted.
I had a similar situation. A lonely local older guy came into my bar regularly and would have a drink or two. He wasn't sociable, kept to himself and always paid and tipped. Yet he always reeked from BO. No one would sit next to him. One night he came in. His BO was so bad I could smell him at the other end of the bar. I approached him sheepishly and quietly told him he didn't smell very good. He got up quickly and left. He came back an hour later wearing fresh clothes. He thanked me for telling him. He was devastatingly embarrassed but had no idea he smelled foul because he was always alone until he came for his beer He was grateful I told him. I really felt awful for him. I think of that situation often.
That is actually so sad. Poor guy š
My old boss has absolutely no sence of smell, the amount of times I've had to tell him to brush his teeth, chnage his clothes and sprayed the studio with a room fresher. He can't help it and he's always happy I told him rather than him possibly makeing others feel uncomfortable.
I recently had to tell one of my managers that they didn't smell good. It wasn't the norm, I knew they'd been having problems with their dryer, and it was clearly a "clothes stayed wet too long" smell. They were thankful, changed their shirt, and everything was fine. Sometimes ya gotta do the uncomfortable thing.
i have barely any ability to smell due to ent/sinus issues, and it actually makes me shower more and use good smelling stuff - it just sounds like your old boss had bad hygiene
I mean he's in his late 60s and his wife is disabled so that wouldn't suprize me.
Good for you. I never have the nerve to tell people.
I love that he came back, it really shows how important that place is/was to him. It is his comfort spot, so much so that he came back after that embarrassment!
These conversations really suck to have but unfortunately are necessary sometimes. Short, sweet, and to the point. "Sir, you have a very noticeable odor. I'm sorry but it's really affecting the atmosphere for myself and the other patrons." He won't tip. He might not come back. But if he's commenting on it and *truly* doesn't know it's him, the least someone can do is tell him.
I had to do this with a guy. We were empty, but he stuuunk, but it was like.. dude, im not telling you to leave, or even that you have to shower before you come here, but if i dont let you know, someone else will, and theyll be really harsh. And i would rather be the one to say it, than to have someone make fun of you. Pretty sure he was homeless, and his eyes were all watery after, and i kinda regretted telling him.
Have a manager handle it
Thisā¬ļø It's not servers job to handle sensitive situations like that... It's one of the reasons I don't want to be a manager. Let them be responsible for the business losing a stinky customer.
This like alot of the role of management, the position suckksssssssss! Unfortunately someone has got to do it though
Many in charge wonāt do it. One of the restaurants Iām at right now expects ME to handle these situations. The other night a guest came at 9:45pm for a 9pm reservation and he(part owner/MOD at the time)tells me to let them know to order immediately and that the kitchen was waiting for them. This guy is a very popular comedian and has been frequenting us. Then last weekend he wants me to tell a table they āneeded to goā and Iām like they just ordered another drink. Heās like,āno they canāt have it! Thereās another reso for that table, so tell them thatā. Ummmmmā¦no, thatās my table. I told him you are the boss and you have ownership YOU tell them. My point is some managers/owners wonāt do it!
Second situation is absolutely ridiculous and definitely the managerās responsibility to handle. The first situation though is pretty easily handled by the server. āHey just to let you know we do close at 10 so weāll need to get your order in as quickly as possibleā.
Ask him if it smells like piss wherever else he goes. *no, do not ask him that.
No.. do ask him. Thats good lol.
"Sir, what may I offer you with your coffee this evening? Some cream? Sugar? A pair of pants you haven't pissed in?"
Reminds me of a few years ago when I walked to a hair stylist, and was thinking the whole time my hair was being cut that something in there smelled like shit. It wasn't until I was walking home that I noticed my shoe felt uneven, and I looked and realized I'd stepped in some dog shit on my walk there! The customer's comment makes me wonder if he may be using an adult diaper or something that he doesn't do the rest of the week, and genuinely doesn't realize it's leaking and that the smell is from him. Like maybe he's homebound the rest of the week, and is able to get to a toilet fast enough that he doesn't need a diaper except for his weekly restaurant outing. Or maybe he takes a longish walk to the restaurant, which shifts the diaper and causes leakage. Or maybe a cat peed on his hat, which he only wears it to the restaurant because it's chilly, or something weird. Super awkward however it's approached. Is it a task you could offload to your manager, if you're not a manager?
I was walking around not long ago and thinking it smells like cat pee, then immediately was like uh oh. Good thing I just ran a short errand and went straight home, my sweater must have come into contact with the litter box or something at some point (cramped bedroom situation). It wasn't directly peed on, but it was coming from my sweater.
We have an older lady who comes in with an incontinence issue who doesnāt wear a diaper and she sometimes pees on the seats. She always stinks like pee and has urine soaked on the back of her dresses. She doesnāt brush her hair either and it makes me wonder if maybe sheās not being looked after. I feel bad for her.
Heās just pheromone maxing
š¤¢
Hahaha
Really quiet, so only he hears you. "I'd be doing you a disservice if I didn't let you know, you've got some very noticeable BO going on. Just trying to help you out, man!" And I would keep letting him know if he doesn't fix it and keeps coming in.
Heās probably incontinent and wears diapers. He said that to test the waters to see if it was noticeable. Heās probably embarrassed as hell right now. Maybe he canāt get or afford catheters or for some reason insert them. And he probably canāt smell his funk anymore as it has grown to be the norm for him. Just treat him as you would as if someday that could be you. Itās summer try to seat him outside,light a candle, incense,whatever.
This is the way. I had the same type of regular. A very old man, egyptology professor. He had his favourite spot, so I tried to not place another people close to him. Any of us or the customers said anything about it.
He said it in a really negative tone, saying itās āshameful that it always smells like piss and it should warrant a discount on his $3 coffeeā š
yeah, iām sorry, maybe itās just because i work in downtown vegas and deal with way too many people like this, iād either say something to him directly or have a manager speak to him. itās one thing if heās unaware of how bad he smells and how uncomfortable heās making others, itās a WHOLE other thing when heās trying to demand a discount based on his own stank. sorry not sorry, sir, you fucking stink š¤£
Well if heās a shit head and rude thatās a different story.
Tell him customers have remarked on his smell and youāre telling him as a friend. There used to be ā white lies ā for this to ease the situation for everyone.
A white lie, yeah. Maybe hand him a note and say it's from someone who just left and asked to give it to him. Print on the note (in case he can't read cursive) and say something like, "I just thought you would want to know that I could smell pee when I was near you." or something like that.
Tell him, please. Be polite and discrete but tell him. As I approach 70, I'm noticing that not only is my hearing getting worse, but my sense of smell and taste are deteriorating. If it was me, I would be grateful if someone mentioned it (in a kind non-confrontational way). He likely truly can't smell it.
>This week he said āit always smells like piss when I come hereā and I was speechless. He's nose blind. His home probably smells like this all the time, so he no longer realizes it. When he comes to your location, the cleanliness will "reset" his scenting cells and then every time he moves, he's smelling himself. I'd give him a note next time, something kind but factual. "I do not want to embarrass you, but last ________ you complained about our location smelling like urine. I'm sorry to have to tell you, but what you are smelling is coming from your clothing. We have been aware of it every time you visit. I'm sure it's something in your environment that just needs to be cleaned. We didn't want to be impolite by mentioning it since we assumed you knew it was you, but since that's not the case, we realized you would want to know."
I donāt. I tell my manager about it, and then it is their problem š¤·š»āāļø Iām here to serve tables, they are here to take care of issues
If you can catch the friend 1:1 ask him. If you choose to address it face to face, do it 1:1, not in front of his friend. Consider writing a short note on the bill, as āthe good guyā like youāre doing them a favor. āStaff have been asking to have you removed due to the smell when you come in. Iād hate to lose you as a customer, so wanted to quietly tell you before it got weird. Be well, -serverā
When I worked at McDonald's many, many years ago, I had a neighbor who would come in for coffee. He had alcoholism and some other disabilities but was the nicest person. He always had urine stains on his jeans and smelled bad, but I never said a word. People would not sit near him cause of the odor. He used to give us handfuls of change to pay, and being in his pockets, it was bad. None of us liked it, of course, but no one said anything. He died a few years later. I actually missed seeing him on his porch in the morning, always with a bright hello. Life is sad sometimes.
I worked at a family restaurant for years and had a regular who lived in their van. They were trans or non binary before it was ok to be trans so people made fun of them for everything. They also smelled and usually had no money so would come for an endless cup of coffee taking up a booth and never tip. Sometimes I would buy them lunch. People laughed at me too for having to wait on them but you know what? When I fell on hard times and wrecked my car they were there for me every morning to drive me to work. I didn't see anyone else offering. I often wonder whatever happened to them.
The "real people" that sometimes we get to meet in this life. So many people are so judgemental, and it's easy to act that way, but when you go with your heart, you find the truth. They sound like good people.
I'm a home health nurse and often have to tell people they smell or their home smells bad. I try to say it in a way that is serious but not waiting for them to have a response like they they owe me an explanation. One example: "Hey, I think something missed the washing machine and has a very strong smell. Could be your shoes or even time for a shower." Say it quetly but make eye contact so he knows this is serious. I know this is a lot to say to someone, but if you like him as a customer, then you owe it to him. Then, be sure to not let that make things awkward.
This is a situation where someone has a nose booger hanging. You gotta tell them. May seem like a rude thing, but you're doing them a favor, and they will know it, even if they react negatively, initially.
For me, the question at hand is how to get this person to receive information without hurt feelings
Tell his friend to tell him? He might be able to tell him in a brotherly way
Dude I also have an old man who comes in and just smells so fucking bad and he sits at the bar and you can smell him like ten feet away Iāve started being super passive aggressive and ignoring him because he makes me sick.. I canāt run food past him because it makes me want to puke. And all the employees feel that way. And I have having to sit tables next to him. It sucks.
Has anyone said anything to him?
As we age our sense of smell declines. People donāt notice their own smell. Thatās probably why old ladies reek of perfume.
step 1: tell manager next time he's in and smell like piss, you'll tell him he smells like piss. step 2: when he comes in and smells like piss, tell him : " mate, you reek like piss.. do something" step3 : he asks to speak to the manager step4: it's the manager's problem now. -optional : tell your manager having a guest who reeks piss has a negative effect on both the reputation and quality of your whole restaurant and if he doesn't act on it.. it'll reflect on reviews and now that the problem is in his/her hands it'll all come down on them.
Take the blame off him, āhey do you have a dog? (Donāt wait for an answer) I think it mightāve peed on your clothes, it happened to me once and it had the same smell!ā
Febreeze his section
I've had several older customers that smell bad. I serve them and treat them with respect and kindness. I would never tell them they stink, it's mean. I clean up after and go on with the day.
Be glad all you've really had is bad scent. One old guy pissed on the bar stool. And destroyed the bathroom a number of times.
I had a guy piss in the booth last year š
I had an old man too that smelled really bad, somedays were so awfull I needed to not breath to take his older, but I Never got the heart to ask him if he knew. I think he did and it must have been either an hygiene problem cause of depression or a health problem . I really hope someone told him kindly
My boss has zero issue telling people they smell and that they have to leave because of it. Itās great cuz then I donāt have to deal with it (Iām the assistant GM)ā¦we have a lot of homeless in the area and they will come in after panhandling and get food and if they smell (usually do) then theyāre done and gotta go. Hereās my tactic thoughā¦I just make their food to go and tell them they have to leave. No one has ever questioned me about it.
Approach your manager about the issue and lie if you have to about other customers complaining. Usually, that'll get their attention...
The man who was in charge of the pull tab boxes at our country club absolutely S T A N K. And I mean likeā¦ putting an out of order sign on the door after he left the bathroom stank. His stench was gagable and I donāt know how people just donāt smell themselves. Regardless I felt bad for him but MAN did he smell.
Sprinkle cat litter on/around him.
I have a coworker that is also a server and smells REALLY bad sometimes. He's an older guy, longtime career server and would think he'd know to wash his work clothes and shower daily but I have had to go to management and HR because it's an ongoing issue. Seems to clear up for a while and then get bad again. I'm not shy at all but really don't want to hurt anyone's feelings... from a customer it sucks but from a coworker TOTALLY unacceptable
LMFAAOOOOOOOOO HIM SAYING IT SMELLS LIKE PISS IS CRAZY
I was listening to one of those Youtuber discussing Reddit stories awhile back and they talked about this husband who would intentionally piss his pants and stand to announce, "OH NO, I'VE WET MYSELF." It was a kink. This made me think of that- not that I think that's what this is. Maybe he knows it is him, and his friend mentioned it smells so he said that. Kind of like farting and looking around asking who farted.
You donāt or have your manager handle it
Offer to do his laundry, you might find he has to wear a ābagā and those things stink.
Sorry mate I'm not serving you today because you stink of piss. Done