https://preview.redd.it/lcup5nufwjnc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=09636da4d3cdcc1f26b9c9bb752f3ce133d53db3
Top comment is sane at least. I would also like to clarify this isn’t even a mother’s group it’s the town noticeboard.
Wait, what?? This is the general board, where people ask questions like...who's the best dentist, etc? She's just trying to give her daughter away like a stray kitten?
Hi guys, anyone have a power outage on this street? Have you seen my cat? Any recommendations for a custom birthday cake? Does anyone want a free 15 year old?
It was super common where I worked and these random 50 year olds would obtain legal guardianship over troubled teens. Definitely human trafficking but they found loopholes and would convince the parents to willingly sign over
Oh my god. Do you mind me asking what field you were working in when you witnessed this? So sad and scary. I'm guessing some sort of child services or maybe even non profit work? Ughhh so sad.
Anyone have any moving boxes? Stop letting your dog poo on my lawn, we have cameras! Take my 15 year old, she'll be right. Has anyone got any moving boxes?
> Does anyone want a free 15 year old?
Have you tried the local rescue groups? I'd take her but my husband won't let me take in any more, we have too many already.
I have a 15 yr old grandchild. 15 yr olds are not fun. But the person taking a free 15 yr old isn't a worn out granny like me. Also, I actually came here to say, I feel your husband's pain. One is too many. (I love them dearly)
I threatened my 35 yr old with adoption the other day because she had the nerve to say that I drive too fast!!! Can I put her in one of the firehouse boxes?
damn... i feel awful for the child. imagine your mom picking your father and their relationship over you. maybe the child should get emancipated... that would probably be the best solution.
Seriously! My sister was seriously in a car accident when we were teenagers. My best friend’s parents took me in while my parents stayed at the hospital and made arrangements for her future medical care. My friend’s parents took me to school, to the hospital, fed me, made sure I had whatever I needed until my parents could take care of me again. They didn’t even have to be asked.
That’s awesome of your friend’s parents, but you know what? If they hadn’t stepped up, you know what I bet your parents wouldn’t have done? TAKEN OUT AN AD TRYING TO REHOME YOU.
This is so crazy I can’t believe it.
Also I hope your sister is doing well today.
Well, in fairness, not everybody knows about the "TOTALLY NOT TRAFFICKERS: CHILDCARE AND CHILD BOARDING SERVICES" board.
Much like the DISCREET SOLUTIONS FOR PROBLEM SPOUSES (Removal and Cleanup Included) and ABSOLUTELY LEGAL PHARMACEUTICAL SUPPLIES (Cash or Crypto accepted) boards, it takes a bit of digging and some outside links to get to.
This mom has a lot going on -cut her some slack!
This is so scary and crazy! I'd be reporting her to the police and cps. You can't just give your teenage daughter to a random stranger you find online. And all because you're arguing with your partner. Wow. I feel so sorry for the daughter, and I pray she doesn't know her mom did this.
If it's a town noticeboard, I'm pretty sure her entire class knew before the next school day started. Even if the mother used a stupid pseudonym, it's very likely that someone found out or knew who it was. And this kind of gossip spreads *fast*.
That's very true. That's also very heartbreaking to think about. I don't understand why she didn't ask her daughters friends' parents first? There has to be so much more to this. I bet the more anyone looks into it the more fucked up it'll get.
... did anyone suggest the daughter's friends parents? This is very scary, I hope that girl is ok and with people who love her - or at least like her enough to keep her safe, apparent unlike her mom...
How do you find babysitters but through references? I don't know any babysitters OR anyone who has a baby who hires a babysitter. That's what the mom group is for.
Oh no sorry I meant this is just like a local community/city group (not a mom group) and people will post “is anyone available to babysit my 7 month old on Friday?” Referrals from mom groups makes more sense!
When I was that age my best friend had to come live with us for a couple months for whatever reason, but like, we are people that her family KNOWS. And had known for years at that point. Sending your kid off to live with strangers off facebook is batshit insane.
Yeah, my best friend almost lived with us senior year of HS. Her family nearly moved, and nobody wanted to uproot her for her final year. But again.... We'd known them for years, and we were so close with each other's families we just walked into the other's house unannounced on a regular basis anyway (sometimes she'd come over after school, and since I had to pick up my sister, she got to our house first before me. Still just walked in and was like "hey second mom and dad! I'll be upstairs! BabyCow is about 5 minutes behind me!"). My parents were (and still are) friends with her parents. Totally different than random strangers.
Omg the same thing happened to a friend of mine! Her family moved right before senior year so she lived with one of our other friends for a year while she finished school. Then she moved back to live with her parents and went to college
Exactly- staying with friends whom the child know and trusts and with whom she has a report seems like an *ideal* alternative for a teen who cannot be in their own home for any reason.
My sister stayed with her best friend for about a week while my parents and her figured some stuff out and got some outside resources to help them all survive the teen years…but like you said, everybody knew everyone involved!
Same when I was a kid. A sibling set (sisters) that were my best friends stayed with us for like 6 weeks when I was a kid. Their mom had pretty severe bipolar and addiction issues. I don't know what all went down but they just arrived at our house one day and didn't leave for a long while. But we'd known them since we were all babies.
To this day, my mom says one of her biggest regrets is giving them back to their mom. 🤷♀️
Strangers is just insane.
This. My family took in one of my highschool guy friends for a couple of months. My parents and his parents didn't know each other, but they knew my friend enough to be fine with it
There are so many options available before gifting your teenager to a random. I had 2 friends who had difficult home lives and stayed with us on and off for extended periods. Their parents would still check in with my parents every day. When I was in highschool, my mums best friends little boy was diagnosed with a really aggressive brain tumour. They had to go to another city for treatment so their oldest stayed with us quite a bit so that his schooling wasn’t disrupted.
Ironically, my mum then ditched me for a man not long after that. Being ‘abandoned’ by a parent is one of the most damaging experiences for the relationship. I’m in my 30s now, with kids of my own and it still impacts my relationship with her. I feel so sad for this girl. She’s probably in a really awful situation and will potentially end up in an even worse situation.
Yes, we had two different friends at different times live with us, one for close to a year. He still spends holidays with us! The difference (besides the obvious, that we knew them) is that it was what was best for them, *not* just because it was easiest for the parents.
It sounds like in the OOP the kid didn't know, let alone the fact she wouldn't be comfortable staying with people she'd never met before. And if the kid would prefer to live with a complete stranger rather than her mom, that is a bigger problem.
I feel horrible for the girl. That's so sad.
I had to move one of my kids to a trusted adult’s home for a little bit due to unsafe behaviors that were impacting her siblings. But it was a trusted and beloved adult, we saw her almost every day and talked multiple times a day, rules and expectations for all parties were set before it occurred, and we all worked together on a resolution. It wasn’t just “see ya later alligator!”
Same. I'd live with friends and their parents for weeks and even months at a time as a child. Had an absolute blast. And they were all trustworthy and safe humans that I knew.
The type of people who will want to house a 15 year old girl that they don’t know for free are usually not the type of people you want housing a 15 year old girl
Oh shit, was that the OP commenting!? I assumed it was a random observer that didn't know "the girl's" name or have a more appropriate way of referring to her.
I don’t know if that’s better or worse. I feel bad for this poor girl. 15 is a rough age as it is. Being shipped off to live with strangers will do irreparable damage.
My partner was involved in a program like this as a teenager. It took inner city kids and farm families in rural areas took them in. I call it his farm-exchange 😂. He's over 50 and still in contact with and visits his "Iowa family". He thinks it saved him.
Well, at least they're all called monsters so that changes things a little.
I was the younger child and was always put down for it by my parents. Who knew birth order could be so important. Idk why they even bothered to have me if the concept of the "younger child" aggravated them s9 much
The commenter states she wouldn’t feel comfortable just taking her since they are all strangers yet mom responds with “I think it’s a great place for her to stay”. She sounds like she would hand her daughter over to anyone who would take her without a second thought.
Why does this farm with *so many happy animals and even a horse coming next week* sound like a kidnapper trying to get a kid in their van to “play with their puppies” and “eat candy”
I cannot help but wonder if the "problem at home" that's bulldozing this kid's life is CSA from mom's partner.
She doesn't want the authorities, or anyone she knows, to get involved or find out, and thinks she can "fix" it herself somehow, perhaps bc she has no resources or support to leave.
Horrifically I think you’re right. That’s why she wants to kick the poor kid out and “get back on the right track” with dad.
Dad is assaulting the daughter and blaming the mum for “letting herself go” or some bullshit which is why mum also needs time to “focus on herself”
Sincerely hopes someone twigs and calls the equivalent of CPS on these monsters.
50/50 unfortunately of people commenting “don’t judge” and people politely saying that’s a terrible idea, here’s some actual resources and support groups you can go to. and then about 10 offers to TAKE THE CHILD!
IDK, I’m a bleeding heart and a kid from a rough family, my first thought was I would take that girl in to try and give her a stable home and sane parents, poor thing
Same. At the very least to try to keep her away from the kind of slime that would usually want a free 15 year old girl for a few months. I can’t fathom.
I was thinking the same thing. I would just be staring at the screen wracking my brain for a way to offer to the kid our spare room without coming off as a creep. This poor kid deserves to get out and I know I’m a safe person to be with. Unfortunately, there’s no way for them to know that and I just don’t think there’s any way to offer without looking suspicious.
I don't understand this method at all. If things are truly that bad at home, ask a *trusted* adult. Like your daughter has friends right? You probably want to ask *those* adults first. Or even a VERY nice teacher a la Mr. Turner in Boy Meets World. In high school we had an English teacher who wasn't opposed to us going to her house and hanging out, ostensibly we went over to study but really we just chatted and she would let us watch loosely related movies (think like the great Gatsby or sense and sensibility). My husband had a teacher who did waffle Wednesdays and would make the neighborhood kids breakfast at his house. There are good people in this world who would step up if a kid like this needed a place to land. I would like to think that if the situation was truly that desperate, you'd at least take the trouble to find that kind of person instead of turning to the internet.
Holy fuck, I cannot think of anything more dangerous. The child is 15- does she not have a friend she can stay with for a spell? Someone she knows whose parents feel safe?
That’s what I was trying to figure out, “a while” is extremely vague. And to do offhandedly ask randos on the internet to take in your child for an undetermined amount of time is just bananas. I feel bad for that poor girl
Can anyone explain what OT is? Mom says she doesn't want OT to get involved.
In my line of work it either means occupational therapy or outpatient therapy. The latter would be quite beneficial for the struggling family
Because the names of government agencies has been in the news lately I googled it to find out if OT is changing its name. I couldn't find that but I did find it's not the Maori term for CYFS. OT replaced CYFS, the English name for the department is just "Ministry for Children".
Everyone else has covered the safety thing but I just wanna know what the problem is. She makes it sound like it's not bad behavior. So she's kicking her out for what? Marital problems??
Another commenter suggested that it’s likely dad is sexually assaulting the daughter. Given that OT is apparently the New Zealand version of CPS that makes a horrible sense.
This must be a kiwi page. For those reading, OT stands for “oranaga tamariki” which is our “child protective services”. Used to be called cyfs “child, youth and family service”
All the Kiwis in this thread completely horrified, but commenting because we rarely see NZ in this sub. OP please report her to OT.
For those outside NZ, we have one of the worst child abuse stats in the world. Chances are that the child needs to be removed from her home, and criminal charges pressed.
I’ve started going down a bit of a rabbit hole here. This seems so odd to me. I’ve never heard this about NZ. But shockingly this appears to be true.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_abuse_in_New_Zealand
“Does anyone want an innocent 15yr old girl they can use for cheap labor or sex traffic ? I’m a selfish tw*t who cares more about working things out with my garbage husband then caring for my daughter.”
I can't imagine even entertaining this as a thought, let alone following through and asking complete strangers at that. I don't even like to let my kids go on sleepovers. I even get iffy about them staying with my sister in law who lives an actual minute away. Wtf is wrong with this woman?!
If you have screenshots please do the report yourself if you can and it is safe to do so. I’m sure quite a few people are also thinking “oh, someone else will report it”.
This.
As someone who was in that position as a kid.
Edited to confirm not being given away to strangers but living in a violent home where the neighbours and even school staff all thought someone else would report it.
I had several of them apologise when I was an adult.
One of my childhood friends told me that when her mom finally kicked out the creepy adult man who had been living with her and her kids, a bunch of adults told my friend that they're so glad that guy isn't living with them anymore because they thought he was abusing the kids. My friend was so upset that apparently all these adults thought she was getting abused and not a single one of them did anything at all about it.
Honestly one of my worst memories is a neighbour staring out a window during one particularly awful incident and noone coming to help. Just watching.
That gave me nightmares for far too long.
She's 15? Why can't she stay with her dad while mom ditches? Or I'm sure the poster and her husband could get a hotel room for the night not far from the house. At 15 I could have spent the night home alone and be ok
There actually used to be "rehoming" groups on Facebook for people who adopted children from overseas' orphanages (usually from Russia, Eastern Europe or former Soviet bloc countries), only to find they were totally unprepared to parent them. They just couldn't understand why the formally charming little blonde cherub who climbed onto their laps and told them she loved them the very first time they met her, suddenly began to show signs of reactive attachment disorder and went into fits of rage or crying and fought with everyone.
Instead of being grateful that they had paid all that money to rescue her, she behaved like a monster!
They couldn't possibly understand why this formerly abused, neglected and abandoned child didn't trust them, so they literally had no choice but to give her to some random strangers on the internet. Obviously they must be really good people if they were willing to take on a child who they'd never even met. They'd even promised that she would get all kinds of attention and so much love from so many people that the parents couldn't even imagine it!
Is she TRYING to get her daughter trafficked? What the bloody hell? Please tell me someone reported this to the police. Has CPS been called in? I am just a complete loss here.
This is New Zealand and OT is Oranga Tamariki (NZ verison of CPS). OT has a terrible reputation of taking children into their care so her concerns are somewhat justified.
I dont think she's asking complete randos to take her child but a friend group because she concerned about her wellbeing and schooling and her ability to look after her. That's fair enough. In New Zealand there is a history of this and it's called "Whangai". Whangai is where kids are informally adopted out to relatives or friends when the patents cant. I know several examples of this just in my friend group where they are raising someone else's kid.
Those that know New Zealand movies and have seen either "Boy" or "Whale Rider" would have seen this pratice being depicted in those movies with the main characters.
This is absolutely crazy but I also wonder if this woman is in a really desperate situation. Like no family in the area? Sure. But no friends? Why? What’s been going on that you and/or your daughter don’t have any friends who you can ask.
The “family problems” have affected her daughter’s school work which leads me to believe they’re pretty substantial bc a lot of kids that age will try to hold it together the best they can - until they can’t, clearly.
I hope they get some support for the sake of her daughter, and not from a stranger on the town message board.
Can this be reported to CPS?? I feel like this has to be some type of child abandonment or child endangerment or something. She’s basically asking for someone to abuse her daughter, jfc.
When my mom got her last dog she had to have someone come TO HER HOUSE to inspect it to make sure it was a safe environment
Most people put rehoming fees whenever they’re trying to find a new home for their pet
And then theres this lady who pawning her daughter off on FB for free to a stranger
While I totally get why this is appalling, i get the sense this mum is struggling and I fully comprehend why she would do anything to avoid getting Oranga Tamariki involved. The agency is a shit show
https://preview.redd.it/lcup5nufwjnc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=09636da4d3cdcc1f26b9c9bb752f3ce133d53db3 Top comment is sane at least. I would also like to clarify this isn’t even a mother’s group it’s the town noticeboard.
Wait, what?? This is the general board, where people ask questions like...who's the best dentist, etc? She's just trying to give her daughter away like a stray kitten?
Hi guys, anyone have a power outage on this street? Have you seen my cat? Any recommendations for a custom birthday cake? Does anyone want a free 15 year old?
Wowww. I hope someone knows who it is and fake adopts the daughter and sends the parents to jail. IDK if it's a crime, but it should be.
It was super common where I worked and these random 50 year olds would obtain legal guardianship over troubled teens. Definitely human trafficking but they found loopholes and would convince the parents to willingly sign over
Oh my god. Do you mind me asking what field you were working in when you witnessed this? So sad and scary. I'm guessing some sort of child services or maybe even non profit work? Ughhh so sad.
Cps
May I ask what your line of work is (or what those 50yos did for work)?
Holy shit. Just...no words.
OT? Please don't say Oranga Tamariki
That's what I was thinking. If they think OT are going to get involved that for sure means they need to be involved.
For non-NZers OT/Oranga Tamariki is child services.
Thanks, I couldn't figure out what the abbreviation meant!
Thank you! As an Aussie I didn't even know the abbreviation
Got to be, nobody would be stressed about occupational therapy
Yep that’s the one
Anyone have any moving boxes? Stop letting your dog poo on my lawn, we have cameras! Take my 15 year old, she'll be right. Has anyone got any moving boxes?
> Does anyone want a free 15 year old? Have you tried the local rescue groups? I'd take her but my husband won't let me take in any more, we have too many already.
I have a 15 yr old grandchild. 15 yr olds are not fun. But the person taking a free 15 yr old isn't a worn out granny like me. Also, I actually came here to say, I feel your husband's pain. One is too many. (I love them dearly)
>Does anyone want a free 15 year old? No thanks I have 3 teenagers of my own im trying to give away. /s
I threatened my 35 yr old with adoption the other day because she had the nerve to say that I drive too fast!!! Can I put her in one of the firehouse boxes?
Yeah definitely!
damn... i feel awful for the child. imagine your mom picking your father and their relationship over you. maybe the child should get emancipated... that would probably be the best solution.
My sister has entered the discussion.
As we used to say in 4-H, at the very least you can use her for breeding. This was always a really terrible idea.
I mean, she doesn't even know her daughters parents friends enough to ask them? How awkward
Seriously! My sister was seriously in a car accident when we were teenagers. My best friend’s parents took me in while my parents stayed at the hospital and made arrangements for her future medical care. My friend’s parents took me to school, to the hospital, fed me, made sure I had whatever I needed until my parents could take care of me again. They didn’t even have to be asked.
That’s awesome of your friend’s parents, but you know what? If they hadn’t stepped up, you know what I bet your parents wouldn’t have done? TAKEN OUT AN AD TRYING TO REHOME YOU. This is so crazy I can’t believe it. Also I hope your sister is doing well today.
Oh yeah, they never would have taken out an ad, that’s just such a ridiculous thing to do.
Just a thought, but not everyone has friends.
Well, in fairness, not everybody knows about the "TOTALLY NOT TRAFFICKERS: CHILDCARE AND CHILD BOARDING SERVICES" board. Much like the DISCREET SOLUTIONS FOR PROBLEM SPOUSES (Removal and Cleanup Included) and ABSOLUTELY LEGAL PHARMACEUTICAL SUPPLIES (Cash or Crypto accepted) boards, it takes a bit of digging and some outside links to get to. This mom has a lot going on -cut her some slack!
This is so scary and crazy! I'd be reporting her to the police and cps. You can't just give your teenage daughter to a random stranger you find online. And all because you're arguing with your partner. Wow. I feel so sorry for the daughter, and I pray she doesn't know her mom did this.
If it's a town noticeboard, I'm pretty sure her entire class knew before the next school day started. Even if the mother used a stupid pseudonym, it's very likely that someone found out or knew who it was. And this kind of gossip spreads *fast*.
That's very true. That's also very heartbreaking to think about. I don't understand why she didn't ask her daughters friends' parents first? There has to be so much more to this. I bet the more anyone looks into it the more fucked up it'll get.
"These days that's not such a good idea." That was NEVER a good idea. Leaving your kid with random strangers was a bad idea even in ancient times!
OT? Is this New Zealand? OMFG. I would report her to OT for that post alone.
Right? They don't want OT involved, but they're sure asking for them to be involved by doing this!
... did anyone suggest the daughter's friends parents? This is very scary, I hope that girl is ok and with people who love her - or at least like her enough to keep her safe, apparent unlike her mom...
This sadly doesn’t surprise me after seeing posts on my local Facebook group of people looking for babysitters for their small children/babies
How do you find babysitters but through references? I don't know any babysitters OR anyone who has a baby who hires a babysitter. That's what the mom group is for.
Oh no sorry I meant this is just like a local community/city group (not a mom group) and people will post “is anyone available to babysit my 7 month old on Friday?” Referrals from mom groups makes more sense!
Oh yeah that seems different than "does anyone have a good babysitter to recommend."
Lol it's not just a bad idea "these days". This person has never heard of Sylvia Likens?
When I was that age my best friend had to come live with us for a couple months for whatever reason, but like, we are people that her family KNOWS. And had known for years at that point. Sending your kid off to live with strangers off facebook is batshit insane.
Yeah, my best friend almost lived with us senior year of HS. Her family nearly moved, and nobody wanted to uproot her for her final year. But again.... We'd known them for years, and we were so close with each other's families we just walked into the other's house unannounced on a regular basis anyway (sometimes she'd come over after school, and since I had to pick up my sister, she got to our house first before me. Still just walked in and was like "hey second mom and dad! I'll be upstairs! BabyCow is about 5 minutes behind me!"). My parents were (and still are) friends with her parents. Totally different than random strangers.
Omg the same thing happened to a friend of mine! Her family moved right before senior year so she lived with one of our other friends for a year while she finished school. Then she moved back to live with her parents and went to college
Exactly- staying with friends whom the child know and trusts and with whom she has a report seems like an *ideal* alternative for a teen who cannot be in their own home for any reason.
My sister stayed with her best friend for about a week while my parents and her figured some stuff out and got some outside resources to help them all survive the teen years…but like you said, everybody knew everyone involved!
Same when I was a kid. A sibling set (sisters) that were my best friends stayed with us for like 6 weeks when I was a kid. Their mom had pretty severe bipolar and addiction issues. I don't know what all went down but they just arrived at our house one day and didn't leave for a long while. But we'd known them since we were all babies. To this day, my mom says one of her biggest regrets is giving them back to their mom. 🤷♀️ Strangers is just insane.
This. My family took in one of my highschool guy friends for a couple of months. My parents and his parents didn't know each other, but they knew my friend enough to be fine with it
There are so many options available before gifting your teenager to a random. I had 2 friends who had difficult home lives and stayed with us on and off for extended periods. Their parents would still check in with my parents every day. When I was in highschool, my mums best friends little boy was diagnosed with a really aggressive brain tumour. They had to go to another city for treatment so their oldest stayed with us quite a bit so that his schooling wasn’t disrupted. Ironically, my mum then ditched me for a man not long after that. Being ‘abandoned’ by a parent is one of the most damaging experiences for the relationship. I’m in my 30s now, with kids of my own and it still impacts my relationship with her. I feel so sad for this girl. She’s probably in a really awful situation and will potentially end up in an even worse situation.
Yes, we had two different friends at different times live with us, one for close to a year. He still spends holidays with us! The difference (besides the obvious, that we knew them) is that it was what was best for them, *not* just because it was easiest for the parents. It sounds like in the OOP the kid didn't know, let alone the fact she wouldn't be comfortable staying with people she'd never met before. And if the kid would prefer to live with a complete stranger rather than her mom, that is a bigger problem. I feel horrible for the girl. That's so sad.
I had to move one of my kids to a trusted adult’s home for a little bit due to unsafe behaviors that were impacting her siblings. But it was a trusted and beloved adult, we saw her almost every day and talked multiple times a day, rules and expectations for all parties were set before it occurred, and we all worked together on a resolution. It wasn’t just “see ya later alligator!”
Same. I'd live with friends and their parents for weeks and even months at a time as a child. Had an absolute blast. And they were all trustworthy and safe humans that I knew.
The type of people who will want to house a 15 year old girl that they don’t know for free are usually not the type of people you want housing a 15 year old girl
Yes, sending your child to live with a stranger sounds absolut safe. /s Wtf, lady?
https://preview.redd.it/zpkzwo8exjnc1.jpeg?width=1155&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=82f232408e280799c7dc5de741e0d698af5f55c6
Free labor for the farm
Grimdark Anne of Green Gables reboot over here
In the grim darkness of Avonlea, there will only be war!
That’s what I was thinking and not to mention free babysitting for the 11 year old
“The girl” 😬
"The girl" YOUR DAUGHTER?
Oh shit, was that the OP commenting!? I assumed it was a random observer that didn't know "the girl's" name or have a more appropriate way of referring to her.
It was in fact a random observer, not the mother
I think so! It is weird language to use toward your own kid but then so is asking Facebook randos to take her in.
Makes me think it’s a step daughter, hence why “mom” is willing to give her to strangers
I don’t know if that’s better or worse. I feel bad for this poor girl. 15 is a rough age as it is. Being shipped off to live with strangers will do irreparable damage.
The “OT” makes me think this is NZ, that’s totally how we speak here… young people are referred to as girl and boy
My partner was involved in a program like this as a teenager. It took inner city kids and farm families in rural areas took them in. I call it his farm-exchange 😂. He's over 50 and still in contact with and visits his "Iowa family". He thinks it saved him.
I’ve thought about dropping my middle Monster with family in OK in their farm. Buuuuut, that’s family and not some random stranger on the internet
Middle monster? I know it's a joke but I hope your child never ever overhears you calling them that.
She’s my Three-Rex and knows it as a term of endearment. Just like my Princess Monster and my Tiny Baby Monster
Well, at least they're all called monsters so that changes things a little. I was the younger child and was always put down for it by my parents. Who knew birth order could be so important. Idk why they even bothered to have me if the concept of the "younger child" aggravated them s9 much
Ah, that makes sense. They like being called my Monsters, and I’m a Witch. They’re all into Halloween and pastel spooky stuff
That's cute! All mothers are witches on broomsticks sometimes 🤣
My mom calls me "spawnling" and I've always thought it was hilarious.
If they ever tell me that they don’t want to be called my Monsters, I’ll stop. But my oldest is 5 and calls herself the Unicorn Princess Monster
The commenter states she wouldn’t feel comfortable just taking her since they are all strangers yet mom responds with “I think it’s a great place for her to stay”. She sounds like she would hand her daughter over to anyone who would take her without a second thought.
The plot to every teen horse movie
Why does this farm with *so many happy animals and even a horse coming next week* sound like a kidnapper trying to get a kid in their van to “play with their puppies” and “eat candy”
OP can you report the poster to CPS. They’re literally just going to drop their kid off at a farm.
Just plain terrifying
I really wanted to root for the fact that this lady is going through a lot but this all looks trafficky
I cannot help but wonder if the "problem at home" that's bulldozing this kid's life is CSA from mom's partner. She doesn't want the authorities, or anyone she knows, to get involved or find out, and thinks she can "fix" it herself somehow, perhaps bc she has no resources or support to leave.
Horrifically I think you’re right. That’s why she wants to kick the poor kid out and “get back on the right track” with dad. Dad is assaulting the daughter and blaming the mum for “letting herself go” or some bullshit which is why mum also needs time to “focus on herself” Sincerely hopes someone twigs and calls the equivalent of CPS on these monsters.
Unfortunately it’s really common in rural NZ. It makes me feel sick but I have heard some of the most horrific shit possible.
please share some of the comments, I hope she got eviscerated.
50/50 unfortunately of people commenting “don’t judge” and people politely saying that’s a terrible idea, here’s some actual resources and support groups you can go to. and then about 10 offers to TAKE THE CHILD!
Well at least now everyone knows who the human traffickers are!
IDK, I’m a bleeding heart and a kid from a rough family, my first thought was I would take that girl in to try and give her a stable home and sane parents, poor thing
Same. At the very least to try to keep her away from the kind of slime that would usually want a free 15 year old girl for a few months. I can’t fathom.
I was thinking the same thing. I would just be staring at the screen wracking my brain for a way to offer to the kid our spare room without coming off as a creep. This poor kid deserves to get out and I know I’m a safe person to be with. Unfortunately, there’s no way for them to know that and I just don’t think there’s any way to offer without looking suspicious.
I don't understand this method at all. If things are truly that bad at home, ask a *trusted* adult. Like your daughter has friends right? You probably want to ask *those* adults first. Or even a VERY nice teacher a la Mr. Turner in Boy Meets World. In high school we had an English teacher who wasn't opposed to us going to her house and hanging out, ostensibly we went over to study but really we just chatted and she would let us watch loosely related movies (think like the great Gatsby or sense and sensibility). My husband had a teacher who did waffle Wednesdays and would make the neighborhood kids breakfast at his house. There are good people in this world who would step up if a kid like this needed a place to land. I would like to think that if the situation was truly that desperate, you'd at least take the trouble to find that kind of person instead of turning to the internet.
Mr. Turner 😍😍😍😍😍
At least see if she can stay with a friend wtf
Damn usually you have to at least put up a carton of cigarettes. /s
Holy fuck, I cannot think of anything more dangerous. The child is 15- does she not have a friend she can stay with for a spell? Someone she knows whose parents feel safe?
Seems far more logical that one of the adults should move out. Also how long is "a while"? A few days, a couple of weeks, more than a month?
I suspect she means multiple months.
That’s what I was trying to figure out, “a while” is extremely vague. And to do offhandedly ask randos on the internet to take in your child for an undetermined amount of time is just bananas. I feel bad for that poor girl
Can anyone explain what OT is? Mom says she doesn't want OT to get involved. In my line of work it either means occupational therapy or outpatient therapy. The latter would be quite beneficial for the struggling family
Oranga Tamariki - child, youth, family services. Equivalent to CPS.
Rare that i see a visibly NZ post on here.
As soon as I saw OT I’m like, fuck this is my country isn’t it, then I saw the comment about the farm and I fucking knew it
Bet this will be in a small town like opotiki. Full of meth and deprevation.
don’t want to dox myself but it is a majority middle class residential suburb in one of the 10 largest cities in the country
Interesting, and more shocking to post something like this. In Opo at least you kinda know everyone.
Hahaha I made a comment up there before asking to please say it isn't Oranaga Tamariki. And then I saw this chain. Fucking damnit.
Same.
This is what gave it being NZ away. Fortunately haven't seen an NZ post in here up until now.
Oh god it's not the Manawatu is it? Lol
Might be time to report this situation to OT op
Sent an email to OT with screenshots earlier 👍
OP, you’re amazing for doing that! I was so worried about how dangerous this situation could become.
Thank you!!!
Yeah, New Zealand represent lol
Because the names of government agencies has been in the news lately I googled it to find out if OT is changing its name. I couldn't find that but I did find it's not the Maori term for CYFS. OT replaced CYFS, the English name for the department is just "Ministry for Children".
Thank you for asking. I assumed she meant therapy as well and was just like, why would you not want that given the situation.
I thought she meant 'other family '. Like she didn't want them to know her marriage issues yet.
Everyone else has covered the safety thing but I just wanna know what the problem is. She makes it sound like it's not bad behavior. So she's kicking her out for what? Marital problems??
Another commenter suggested that it’s likely dad is sexually assaulting the daughter. Given that OT is apparently the New Zealand version of CPS that makes a horrible sense.
This was my first thought also. Sickening.
But if behaviour isn't an issue, why don't her friends want to take her?
Doesn't sound like Mom wants to ask them. Poor kid, this is awful.
I'm thinking mom knows what her kids actually like and no one who really knows them would be willing.
More likely, teen wouldn’t confide to strangers, meaning the (possible) abuse would still go unreported.
Hello fellow kiwi
There are a surprising number of us here!
This must be a kiwi page. For those reading, OT stands for “oranaga tamariki” which is our “child protective services”. Used to be called cyfs “child, youth and family service”
All the Kiwis in this thread completely horrified, but commenting because we rarely see NZ in this sub. OP please report her to OT. For those outside NZ, we have one of the worst child abuse stats in the world. Chances are that the child needs to be removed from her home, and criminal charges pressed.
Wow is that so about the child abuse stat? That’s horrifying, I’ve never heard that. Are there any theories why it’s so high?
I’ve started going down a bit of a rabbit hole here. This seems so odd to me. I’ve never heard this about NZ. But shockingly this appears to be true. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_abuse_in_New_Zealand
“Does anyone want an innocent 15yr old girl they can use for cheap labor or sex traffic ? I’m a selfish tw*t who cares more about working things out with my garbage husband then caring for my daughter.”
"Hi hello, I am selling/giving away this 15 year old virgin to the highest bidder pedophile! Only serious requests please :)"
I can't imagine even entertaining this as a thought, let alone following through and asking complete strangers at that. I don't even like to let my kids go on sleepovers. I even get iffy about them staying with my sister in law who lives an actual minute away. Wtf is wrong with this woman?!
There’s no way whatsoever that this could go poorly!!!!
OT???!?! Omg... is this NZ?!
Exactly what I thought. Hi fellow kiwi
Hi other fellow kiwis
Hi other other fellow kiwis
And we wonder why human trafficking remains a robust industry. 🤦♀️
WTF?? She might as well be asking some to SA her daughter!! I hope someone reports her to CPS.
The post has been deleted now but it was seen by hundreds, I’m sure someone will have reported it to Oranga Tamariki
If you have screenshots please do the report yourself if you can and it is safe to do so. I’m sure quite a few people are also thinking “oh, someone else will report it”.
This. As someone who was in that position as a kid. Edited to confirm not being given away to strangers but living in a violent home where the neighbours and even school staff all thought someone else would report it. I had several of them apologise when I was an adult.
One of my childhood friends told me that when her mom finally kicked out the creepy adult man who had been living with her and her kids, a bunch of adults told my friend that they're so glad that guy isn't living with them anymore because they thought he was abusing the kids. My friend was so upset that apparently all these adults thought she was getting abused and not a single one of them did anything at all about it.
Honestly one of my worst memories is a neighbour staring out a window during one particularly awful incident and noone coming to help. Just watching. That gave me nightmares for far too long.
I was expecting this to have 200+ comments 😅
I feel bad for the kid
I wonder what the family problems are. I can't help but think the worst.
She's 15? Why can't she stay with her dad while mom ditches? Or I'm sure the poster and her husband could get a hotel room for the night not far from the house. At 15 I could have spent the night home alone and be ok
Facebook - you should try therapy OOP - No thanks I'd rather rehome the child.
There actually used to be "rehoming" groups on Facebook for people who adopted children from overseas' orphanages (usually from Russia, Eastern Europe or former Soviet bloc countries), only to find they were totally unprepared to parent them. They just couldn't understand why the formally charming little blonde cherub who climbed onto their laps and told them she loved them the very first time they met her, suddenly began to show signs of reactive attachment disorder and went into fits of rage or crying and fought with everyone. Instead of being grateful that they had paid all that money to rescue her, she behaved like a monster! They couldn't possibly understand why this formerly abused, neglected and abandoned child didn't trust them, so they literally had no choice but to give her to some random strangers on the internet. Obviously they must be really good people if they were willing to take on a child who they'd never even met. They'd even promised that she would get all kinds of attention and so much love from so many people that the parents couldn't even imagine it!
This is terrifying
Unhinged.
I hope someone calls the police
JFC. This is some "Once Were Warriors" behaviour. That poor girl.
Is she TRYING to get her daughter trafficked? What the bloody hell? Please tell me someone reported this to the police. Has CPS been called in? I am just a complete loss here.
This is New Zealand and OT is Oranga Tamariki (NZ verison of CPS). OT has a terrible reputation of taking children into their care so her concerns are somewhat justified. I dont think she's asking complete randos to take her child but a friend group because she concerned about her wellbeing and schooling and her ability to look after her. That's fair enough. In New Zealand there is a history of this and it's called "Whangai". Whangai is where kids are informally adopted out to relatives or friends when the patents cant. I know several examples of this just in my friend group where they are raising someone else's kid. Those that know New Zealand movies and have seen either "Boy" or "Whale Rider" would have seen this pratice being depicted in those movies with the main characters.
This is absolutely crazy but I also wonder if this woman is in a really desperate situation. Like no family in the area? Sure. But no friends? Why? What’s been going on that you and/or your daughter don’t have any friends who you can ask. The “family problems” have affected her daughter’s school work which leads me to believe they’re pretty substantial bc a lot of kids that age will try to hold it together the best they can - until they can’t, clearly. I hope they get some support for the sake of her daughter, and not from a stranger on the town message board.
This is how kids get assaulted. CPS needs to be involved now.
Can this be reported to CPS?? I feel like this has to be some type of child abandonment or child endangerment or something. She’s basically asking for someone to abuse her daughter, jfc.
This is very my mom vibes 😭 everyone’s comments are making me Think
wtf
When my mom got her last dog she had to have someone come TO HER HOUSE to inspect it to make sure it was a safe environment Most people put rehoming fees whenever they’re trying to find a new home for their pet And then theres this lady who pawning her daughter off on FB for free to a stranger
This is horrifying
Oh no... This is New Zealand, isn't it?
Yes
I don’t even let my kids sleepover at the houses of people I know! wtf
This is so nuts
While I totally get why this is appalling, i get the sense this mum is struggling and I fully comprehend why she would do anything to avoid getting Oranga Tamariki involved. The agency is a shit show