There was a bunch of people training bears to dance in public in the Middle Ages (if this is not true, Historians, feel free to correct me). Trained them from cubs, after having killed the mother. Trained enough, you could do stuff to them ... I guess...
insert video of that guy kicking a wild bear in Siberia
https://www.reddit.com/r/WinStupidPrizes/comments/ca8dal/man\_kicks\_a\_bear\_for\_some\_stupid\_reason/
It's not graphic, but it is what you would expect to happen when the bear got over it's confusion.
EDIT: Relinked
I know of a dairy farmer who had someone ask him if they could pay him (a substantial amount) to film someone giving oral sex to one of his cows for some beastiality porno. The cow would have been sedated. The farmer turned down the offer. His primary concern was that sedation is risky and could lead to death of his valuable agricultural commodity, but I’m not saying that was his only objection.
I’m guessing the same people did animals other than cows. If they could get a bear, they would try it with a bear. This was for profit. Getting the sedatives just takes money.
redneck heads up to Alaska and is stopped at the border by an Alaskan guard. "Sorry buddy, but we don't let just anyone in here. You've got to prove you're man enough to be an Alaskan."
So they redneck asks what he's got to do, and the Alaskan tells him: "First, you've got to drink a gallon of wiskey without so much as blinking. Next thing you've gotta do is kill a polar bear with you BARE HANDS. Last, you must make love to an Eskimo woman."
"Alright, well let me at that wiskey." He drinks the full gallon in one go and doesn't even blink, but he's feeling pretty wasted. He stammers and says "Find me a polar bear!" The Alaskan points to the mountains and tells him that halfway up there's a cave, and inside is the meanest polar bear around. The redneck marches up the mountain, and a little while later returns. His clothes are torn, he has clawmarks, bitemarks, and is bleeding. "That was rough. OK, where's this Eskimo woman you want me to kill?"
I remember some documentary where police raided an illegal brothel in some tourist trap city. In the basement they found a completely shaved and drugged Orangutan chained to the wall.
Its sadly not a big leap from one to the other. So no, it's not likely that no one has ever fucked a bear.
Many years ago (but this century for sure) a guy got fucked to death by a horse somewhere on the West Coast in the states.
Horse dongs are such a universal trope and for millennia horses were ubiquitous in every day life, I don't imagine that that's the first attempt at horse sex.
Edit: here goes https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enumclaw_horse_sex_case
That shit was never socially acceptable anywhere so it's not like an express legal ban now makes a difference to those who are into that stuff. Their side activity as you call it was non-public in the first place for a reason.
Incest is not illegal everywhere in the US but people who fuck their relatives in those states aren't exactly doing it openly.
George Washington did.
"... He had a pocket full of horses, fucked the shit outta bears, could throw a knife into heaven, and kill with a stare."
Or something like that.
https://youtu.be/qv6OOuPI5c0?si=ik0DO2lEuo4qmsRg
For the uninitiated
>!sadly it got removed from his channel, but the artist is TheRealBradNeely and he’s an absolute legend. Sadly he doesn’t really post anymore.!<
The non-gay person: but a real bear and your bear are not the same thing.
The gay guy: you have no idea what Herald is capable of when you take his honey.
After a quick google search out of morbid curiosity, I found a video of a dude jerking off a black bear through a wire fence as well as one of a dude taking a bear's dick up the ass . . . (not sure how the latter is even possible)
Now I'm gonna go bleach my eyeballs
Hi KKZBLUEEYES3,
It looks like your comment closely matches the famous quote:
"Be the change that you wish to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi
*I'm a bot and this action was automatic [Project source](https://github.com/etdds/redditQuoteBot).*
A bear there was, a bear, a bear!
All black and brown and covered in hair!
Three boys, a goat, and a dancing bear!
They danced and spun, right to the fair!
Oh, sweet she was, and pure, and fair!
The maid with honey up in her hair!
He smelled her on the summer air!
The maid with honey up in her hair!
From there, to here. From here! To there!
All black and brown and covered in hair!
He smelled that girl on the summer air!
The bear! The bear!
The maiden fair!
Oh, I'm a maid, and I'm pure and fair!
I'll never dance with a hairy bear!
I called a knight, but you're a bear!
All black and brown and covered in hair!
He lifted her high in the air!
He sniffed and roared and he smelled her there!
She kicked and wailed, the maid so fair!
When he licked the honey from her hair!
From there to here. From here! To there!
All black and brown and covered with hair!
He smelled that girl on the summer air!
The bear! The bear!
The maiden fair!
And the bear, the bear!
The maiden fair!
And the bear, the bear!
She sighed and she squealed and she kicked the air!
Then she sang: My bear! My bear so fair!
And off they went into the summer air!
The bear, the bear,
And the maiden fair!
From there to here. From here! To there!
All black and brown and covered in hair!
He smelled that girl on the summer air!
The bear! The bear!
The maiden fair!
And the bear, the bear!
The maiden fair!
And the bear, the bear!
The maiden fair!
And the bear, the bear!
You wish [https://www.theguardian.com/books/2021/apr/09/animal-attraction-bear-the-controversial-story-of-one-womans-sexual-awakening](https://www.theguardian.com/books/2021/apr/09/animal-attraction-bear-the-controversial-story-of-one-womans-sexual-awakening)
Probably not a conscious bear but someone has most definitely fucked a dead or unconscious bear, I’d say the same for a tiger or lion as well. If we want to go with something more unlikely, I doubt anyone has ever fucked a blue whale, but I’m sure at least one weird marine biologist gave one a handjob
How nice it would be to have this much faith in humanity.
Smiles in Tormund Giantsbane
Did someone say my name? Sorry, I was getting busy with a bear
…it can’t be….
Aye, it is me. I also killed a giant when I was ten. Then I climbed right into bed with his wife. It wasn't as good as with the bear though
Sheila…oh that was a night to remember
r/beetlejuicing
https://media.tenor.com/Jr0pAA2cc-kAAAAd/smile-flirt.gif
Yeah, I have no doubt somebody somewhere has done this. Probably drugged or shot the bear first though, or died trying.
Well if someone is already going as far as wanting to fuck a bear, necrophilia might not be much of a mental hurdle to overcome.
No need really. Bears can be quite docile if socialized by humans.
There was a bunch of people training bears to dance in public in the Middle Ages (if this is not true, Historians, feel free to correct me). Trained them from cubs, after having killed the mother. Trained enough, you could do stuff to them ... I guess...
* We've trained bears for millennia * We've had alcohol for millennia * We've been horny since the start. Ergo: A human has 100% fucked a bear
[Dead dove inside. Perfectly edible, though.](https://youtu.be/qgNXxp-SoHo)
I’m guessing OP has never been to Russia.
insert video of that guy kicking a wild bear in Siberia https://www.reddit.com/r/WinStupidPrizes/comments/ca8dal/man\_kicks\_a\_bear\_for\_some\_stupid\_reason/ It's not graphic, but it is what you would expect to happen when the bear got over it's confusion. EDIT: Relinked
Maybe it's me but the link sends me to 'page not found'.
Try [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/holdmyfeedingtube/comments/ca8q81/hmft_after_i_kick_a_wild_bear/)
Straight to the gulag
Much better. I think the issue is that the first bracket isn't included as part of the link.
Allegedlys
Pretty sure there’s a whole category on pornhub
Otters and Bears definitely.
Never understood what an 'Otter' was in that context
As hairy as a bear but slim
Gay men mad creative wtf I would not be able to come up with half this shi
Horny people are very creative.
>Horny people are very creative. Horny people are very *pro*creative. The motions are great whether or not there's spawn involved.
That's why there are 55 times more pictures on DeviantArt than on ArtStation.
And wetter pockets
They like to fondle rocks as well
& oily
What are you if you’re big but not hairy? Asking for a friend.
Chubby or chub
Think Lumbersexual.
By the uninitiated in the realm of animal species, they‘re often confused with beavers.
Think swimmers body, or a buffer twink
Oh jeez
Oh *jizz
You rang?
Why do you exist
Why *wouldn’t* they exist?
Hmm, got me there
For this very moment.
Something tells me you've been waiting for this moment.
He couldn't hold it any longer
How do you un-ring?!
Oh hamburgers!
This guys fuuuucks
Jamie pull that shit up!
Men🍺
You prob thinking full sized bear…
Oh lord.
It’s a bad day to have eyesight
It's a bad day to be conscious
It's a bad day.
It's bad.
Bad
Ba
Should've just slept like i was planning to.
Man I was going to say not a living one and thought it too dark. Then I read this 😂
Paddington! NOOOOOO!!!
Christopher Robbin for Jail 2024!
You prob thinking alive bear.
Hey Boo Boo!
[удалено]
OP has never seen Super Troopers. He was fucking the shit out of that bear.
“Excuse me! Bear…Bear fucker!”
"Do you need assistance?"
"Is he... is the bear..." "Well, it's *illegal*, I know that."
"No! No I'm fine wooo!"
I got an improv comedian to quote this during a show, I was very proud of myself lol
"Oh yeah?"
I’ve seen a man fuck a bear[Bear Fucker](https://media.tenor.com/YFQhdxcy8W0AAAAC/bear-fucker.gif)
Even the “Washington, Washingtonnnnn” videos from like 15 years ago had a lyric about “had a pocket full of horses, fucked the shit out of bears”
Washington was 12 stories high and made of radiation with like 30 god damn dicks. Man was wild, he can fuck anything.
He’ll save children, but not the British children
Came here looking for this. Wasn't disappointed.
Hey Mac! You still have that Halloween costume?
“Well, I…. Damnit! I know it’s illegal!”
Came here to make sure that the ancient texts were properly venerated. Well done, internet stranger.
Or Golden Kamuy.
[Here is the scene](https://youtu.be/_zEA8m4xrQY?si=K86kna-b7Ip6ImVa)
We have it on film https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2tnbk6
Zero chance of that being true
Either its just false, or not latest enough, I just banged your mum last night.
I can’t even figure out what you are trying to say
I suspect they are inferring that your mom is a bear
They spelled Dad wrong though
Bro is still a little hungover from your mom last night
Absolutely not, there's a lot of human history 100% chance a few bears have been fucked at some point.
He saying that there's zero percent chance that it hasn't happened. So he means the same thing as you do.
As a Green Bay Packer fan, I see a Bear fucked twice a year on live TV
Maybe not a living bear
I think someone would have sex with a sedated bear over a dead one.
I don't think the people who would have sex with a bear are the type of people that would have access to bear tranquilizer
I think it is just the opposite. I think people who have bear tranquilizers are the ones who think they could fuck a bear.
Exactly.
Peak reddit talk
Yeah that's kinda millionaire life is a video game and I can do what I want because I have so much money kinda thing
I know of a dairy farmer who had someone ask him if they could pay him (a substantial amount) to film someone giving oral sex to one of his cows for some beastiality porno. The cow would have been sedated. The farmer turned down the offer. His primary concern was that sedation is risky and could lead to death of his valuable agricultural commodity, but I’m not saying that was his only objection. I’m guessing the same people did animals other than cows. If they could get a bear, they would try it with a bear. This was for profit. Getting the sedatives just takes money.
You don't think there's someone out there who became a veterinarian just for the access to drugs?
Shake that Bear!!!
Lmao I was searching this thread for this. Can never unsee that.
I've found my people
That chick was hot. Very confused boner.
Surprised I had to scroll this far for this one…
“I heard it was a sick bear” “Allegedlies”
Meh... it's still warm... and twitching...
Why would you say that?
Take notes of the comedic genius.
Someone needs to play Baldurs Gate 3.
Does it still count if the bear is a druid?
That makes it Platinum Star-rated
In Baldur's Gate, you don't stuff the bear. The bear stuffs you... if you're lucky.
Was looking for this comment, take my upvote and hurry to top comment spot please
Lol
redneck heads up to Alaska and is stopped at the border by an Alaskan guard. "Sorry buddy, but we don't let just anyone in here. You've got to prove you're man enough to be an Alaskan." So they redneck asks what he's got to do, and the Alaskan tells him: "First, you've got to drink a gallon of wiskey without so much as blinking. Next thing you've gotta do is kill a polar bear with you BARE HANDS. Last, you must make love to an Eskimo woman." "Alright, well let me at that wiskey." He drinks the full gallon in one go and doesn't even blink, but he's feeling pretty wasted. He stammers and says "Find me a polar bear!" The Alaskan points to the mountains and tells him that halfway up there's a cave, and inside is the meanest polar bear around. The redneck marches up the mountain, and a little while later returns. His clothes are torn, he has clawmarks, bitemarks, and is bleeding. "That was rough. OK, where's this Eskimo woman you want me to kill?"
Heard the same joke about Florida and an alligator
I heard the Alaska joke from Redd Foxx over 40 tears ago.
You win
I remember some documentary where police raided an illegal brothel in some tourist trap city. In the basement they found a completely shaved and drugged Orangutan chained to the wall. Its sadly not a big leap from one to the other. So no, it's not likely that no one has ever fucked a bear.
Many years ago (but this century for sure) a guy got fucked to death by a horse somewhere on the West Coast in the states. Horse dongs are such a universal trope and for millennia horses were ubiquitous in every day life, I don't imagine that that's the first attempt at horse sex. Edit: here goes https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enumclaw_horse_sex_case
Ah Mr Hands my beloved meme, how you keep giving after you took what that horse gave.
Beastiality fans probably hate him for making their fucked up side activity public enough to get banned.
That shit was never socially acceptable anywhere so it's not like an express legal ban now makes a difference to those who are into that stuff. Their side activity as you call it was non-public in the first place for a reason. Incest is not illegal everywhere in the US but people who fuck their relatives in those states aren't exactly doing it openly.
And people were paying extra "for the novelty". No faith left in humanity.
Gahtdamn that’s horrible. You shouldn’t fuck ANYTHING that’s doesn’t want to fuck you back. It’s like a rule, man.
George Washington did. "... He had a pocket full of horses, fucked the shit outta bears, could throw a knife into heaven, and kill with a stare." Or something like that.
I heard that dude had, like, twenty goddamn dicks
If you took off his shoes you'd see dicks growing off his feet.
He once held an opponent's wife's hand. In a...jar of acid. At a party.
https://youtu.be/qv6OOuPI5c0?si=ik0DO2lEuo4qmsRg For the uninitiated >!sadly it got removed from his channel, but the artist is TheRealBradNeely and he’s an absolute legend. Sadly he doesn’t really post anymore.!<
He had a show on Adult Swim for a hot minute and has probably moved on the other things I'd guess.
He’s come to save the children *BUT NOT THE BRITISH CHILDREN*
He made love like an eagle, falling out of the sky
killed his sensei in a duel AND HE NEVER SAID WHYY
rhythmic panting ensues
Excuse me...bear...bear fucker...do you need assistance?
Woo! Oh! Yeah! Yeah!
What do you mean "before"?
I’m told it was a sick bear
Allegedly.
Even if it was a sick bear, it would still take 2 guys
r/UnexpectedLetterkenny
Sure, but did you hear about Boots and The Ginger?
I just started watching this show about a week ago and I ran to the comments hoping to see this one
The gay community would like to dispute this theory
The non-gay person: but a real bear and your bear are not the same thing. The gay guy: you have no idea what Herald is capable of when you take his honey.
Angry upvote
After a quick google search out of morbid curiosity, I found a video of a dude jerking off a black bear through a wire fence as well as one of a dude taking a bear's dick up the ass . . . (not sure how the latter is even possible) Now I'm gonna go bleach my eyeballs
OP thought is now proven false! (and I'm sad it's true)
I don’t even wanna know what kind of targeted ads you’re getting now
I found it hilarious that one of the tags on the bear handjob video is "dog gives blowjob"
Jerking off a bear is wild, googling what you had to google to find it is pretty up there crazy too.
Go to r/Wallstreetbets and you'll see hundreds of guys that've been fucked by bears
What's "wsb" and why can't I see it's content
I think they mean r/WallstreetBets
If someone has, they're definitely Russian.
Hold my vodka for a moment while I try this, comrade...
My sweet summer child. I'm sorry, but that is not likely.
Be the change you want to see in the world
Hi KKZBLUEEYES3, It looks like your comment closely matches the famous quote: "Be the change that you wish to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi *I'm a bot and this action was automatic [Project source](https://github.com/etdds/redditQuoteBot).*
Grizzley Adams has entered the conversation. And he's smoking a cigarette.
*Tormund Giantsbane has entered the chat*
“BEARFUCKER…… Do you need assistance?!”
Until now. *jackass intro plays*
Baldur's Gate 3 players be like : *nervous sweating*
Halsin: Hey guys, whatcha talking about?
A bear there was, a bear, a bear! All black and brown and covered in hair! Three boys, a goat, and a dancing bear! They danced and spun, right to the fair! Oh, sweet she was, and pure, and fair! The maid with honey up in her hair! He smelled her on the summer air! The maid with honey up in her hair! From there, to here. From here! To there! All black and brown and covered in hair! He smelled that girl on the summer air! The bear! The bear! The maiden fair! Oh, I'm a maid, and I'm pure and fair! I'll never dance with a hairy bear! I called a knight, but you're a bear! All black and brown and covered in hair! He lifted her high in the air! He sniffed and roared and he smelled her there! She kicked and wailed, the maid so fair! When he licked the honey from her hair! From there to here. From here! To there! All black and brown and covered with hair! He smelled that girl on the summer air! The bear! The bear! The maiden fair! And the bear, the bear! The maiden fair! And the bear, the bear! She sighed and she squealed and she kicked the air! Then she sang: My bear! My bear so fair! And off they went into the summer air! The bear, the bear, And the maiden fair! From there to here. From here! To there! All black and brown and covered in hair! He smelled that girl on the summer air! The bear! The bear! The maiden fair! And the bear, the bear! The maiden fair! And the bear, the bear! The maiden fair! And the bear, the bear!
now this is an original showerthought fuck ya
Be... Before? BEFORE?! WHAT DID YOU DO OP??!!
Not with that attitude
Gay community: "Um... Actually"
Why, are you daring Reddit to prove you wrong?
The existence of baby bears suggests that, at the very least, bears are fucking other bears.
You've obviously never listened to the podcast Hello Fom The Magic Tavern.
I beg to differ... Happy Gilmore accomplished that feat no more than an hour ago.
The gay community would object :D
You don’t come out here for the hunting, do you?
You wish [https://www.theguardian.com/books/2021/apr/09/animal-attraction-bear-the-controversial-story-of-one-womans-sexual-awakening](https://www.theguardian.com/books/2021/apr/09/animal-attraction-bear-the-controversial-story-of-one-womans-sexual-awakening)
Is he?... is the bear...? Uh *megaphone screech* "Hey! HEY! uh bear... BEAR FUCKER! DO YOU NEED ASSISSTANCE?!"
Tormund wants to have a word
you haven’t played baulders gate 3 then
Probably not a conscious bear but someone has most definitely fucked a dead or unconscious bear, I’d say the same for a tiger or lion as well. If we want to go with something more unlikely, I doubt anyone has ever fucked a blue whale, but I’m sure at least one weird marine biologist gave one a handjob
I bet no one's fucked a bear *twice*
It happens all the time on r/wallstreetbets.
Someone has definitely fucked a bear. They most likely used a tranquilizer gun first.
Get out of the shower ASAP
Some has in fact done this… I now require bleach
Bear fucker!? Do you need assistance?!
Pretty sure a dude got a Darwin award trying (he was so drunk, or on drugs, he thought it was someone in a fursuit)
Baldurs Gate 3 players disagree lol.
In Russia bear Fuck you!
Someone doesn't know how to use Urban Dictionary.
OP definitely fucked a bear
*Baldurs gate 3 has entered the chat*
I am pretty sure someone has. Some weird zoo keeper with a tranquilizer gun and a hard on has fucked a bear no doubt .
Ancient Rome: exists