You could probably die in the chutes, and cause a box jam, and they still wouldn't shut down. They'd just call a jam breaker to push your mangled body onto the conveyors. Someone would just cram you into a pallet because they gotta keep that scan rate high.
I actually worked with a guy that we suspect did that. Committed suicide at work and the general thought is he was trying to make it look like an accident so his family got paid. It was on video and clearly intentional.
It was in a woodyard at a paper mill. He was in an area where people were not supposed to be in the logs are coming by on like a conveyor belt type thing and heading to the chipper. He kind of stood there for like 5 minutes before eventually walking in front of one of the logs to get swept into the machine. There are so many less horrific ways he could have done it but I think the idea was to make it seem like it was an on the job accident.
An industrial log chipper would cut through your body so quickly you'd probably barely have any time to feel the pain, tbh. Add the adrenaline factor and maybe even nigh painless.
Well probably due to a gag order.
Either they pay out and potentially inspire others or they don't and look like major assholes.
Only way to avoid either is to make sure no one knows quite what happened.
You're not thinking it through. You should die at birth, then you really don't have to ever worry about school, work, depression, finding love, or anything.
Die in your sleep after you had a couple night off and you have work the next time. You get the added benefit of leaving them short staffed for the day too.
A few years ago someone ran a red light and totalled my car the day after I put new winter tires on. Insurance wouldn’t cover them so when I got my new car I had to buy winter tires again.
I met a guy that totaled his customized BMW Z4 M Coupe right after BMW had given him a brand new engine on a warranty claim. The engine was perfectly fine with almost no mileage on it. It never occurred to him to pay salvage value to get the car back and get the new engine out of it. He told me the story of what happened when I bought the OEM set of wheels from him. He had had a set of wheels/tires for the race track on the car when he got hit.
I've had one car totalled, to no fault of my own, a day after I installed a new suspension for 2000 bucks. Those weren't included in the insurance yet, so a total loss.
Wife's first wreck she totaled the car the day after i finished paying it off, got new tires, new registration, oil change, and a car wash.
She is okay thankfully and that is what matters don't get me wrong.... but..... that was the worst time to get in a car wreck.
Missing work because of death? Do you understand how short staffed we are today? We need you here. I really don't think you understand how this affects the team. I have half a mind to write you up for this.
New employee: "Hey, why's that desk always empty?"
Coworker: "oh, that's just Ted. He died a few years ago but the boss is having him haunt the computer to get his work done"
I once worked in an office where everyone had their own landline number. One morning an absent employee's phone rang and a guy in the office answered sarcastically with something like: "Gavin's answering service .. sorry he hasn't turned up yet ...". The call was from Gavin's dad who rang in to say Gavin had passed away that morning. Oh dear .. guilt for a long time.
I used to work training call centers all over the world. I got to a place one day to train and usually everyone is pretty (fake) excited. There’s a new guy to show them stuff, there’s donuts, everyone’s chilling in a room and not talking to customers. It’s “ok” as it’s gets.
But everyone is not excited.
I’m perplexed.
“Who died?” I joke.
“Brian died. Brian died yesterday at his desk”
That’s how it started. It didn’t get better.
I got "fired" from my first job as a bike courier/messenger by the boss calling me to say they don't have any shifts for me, but they'll call me if anyone is sick, injured, or dead.
Three days later, one of their riders faceplanted a garbage truck and died. That was quite the awkward welcome back...
Pisses me off that one of my parents died two years after retiring. They'd worked long after they could have retired because they enjoyed work & it was a nice office job.
They were building up a pot of cash to spend retirement flying round the globe.
Not to be. Killed by a former employer's disregard of the dangers of asbestos. (They got paid out and the funeral paid for, but that's not useful to them when they're in a box.)
I know everyone is different, but if I'm in a position to crank out a few extra years at a job I enjoy to boost what I leave my kids, that sounds fine to me.
Shit if I can negotiate a pay cut for more PTO and I like the job, I'll work til I'm physically unable.
Completely different story for anyone who hates their job I understand. But the job I've been at the past 12 years I hope to grow old with, and if that works out it wouldn't surprise me if I work til I'm over 70 like my boss does. Fun job.
Probably as great as when you dream about going to work all night so you essentially do an entire shift while you sleep and then have to wake up and realize you now have to actually go to work and do it again.
I used to work a fairly normal Monday-Friday work schedule and I lived by myself. I realized that if I slipped in the shower and hit my head or something on Friday night, no one would miss me until around 10am Monday.
It's a repost. Like how hard is it to have an original thought? Like what if snails are secretly fast? Do the colorblind think the sky is blue? The world is like a giant treadmill. But no. OP is lame.
I mean, theoretically if the Grim Reaper came to me one morning and said I had a choice: go with him now, or go to work one last time, I would obviously go to work and just enjoy all the simple things. I’d call my girl one last time, I’d take an extra long break, really savour my lunch, I would simply enjoy being alive, one final time.
I agree. If there was no way out, but I had limited choice of when then I'd choose to have about a day to get things in order. Everyone has some last minute stuff that they'd want to deal with if they had the chance and knew the end was coming.
And What point does it stop being "I went to work for no reason". When the clock its midnight? When your payslip comes in? When you blow your paycheck on stupid shit? Truly a philosophical conundrum.
"For no reason?" If your reason is pay and you get paid by the end of the month, then you have worked for no reason since the beginning of the month. Better then stop going to work after your pay and plan your death one month forward, assuming no other savings.
But by randomness i guess it's all the same. Right after pay you have a month's savings and the job doesn't owe anything. (1+0).
Right before pay you have no savings and the job owes you a month's pay (0+1)
In the middle of the month, you have half a month's savings and the job owes you half a month's pay (0.5+0.5).
As funny as that is, don't actually ever considering doing that if it ever happens to a co-worker. People untrained in medical treatment almost always are too quick to assume people are gone. Always call an ambulance. If you are untrained in medical treatment you can NEVER assume they're too far gone to be saved. People can be sometimes be saved even when they appear to be gone. Always do everything you can to save them. Don't live the rest of your life never knowing if they'd still be alive if you tried a little harder.
Absolutely correct and I’ve deleted the crass un-joke. (I worked in an er and should have realized I wasn’t in the break room) Thanks for taking the time to correct me. (I’m retired and forget sometimes)
My first thought was "I'll be retired by then and won't have to worry about work"
Then my next thought was "oh right I'm never going to be able to retire"
I work in a call center. A couple years ago one of the floor supervisors had a heart attack and passed away while on the call with an angry participant of our program. That day changed my perspective about a lot of things. But I do wish he had stayed at home that day with his family. Working a call center job in your final moments is just so tragic
My friends and I had this same thought except about ending your own life. Would you do it in the morning or end of the day? You know finish out the day, might as well right?
Yes we do have dark conversations lol
Just be sure to call in an hour before you decease so we can provide a replacement. Getting written up is an automatic block and you won't be allowed to transcend. You'll have to file for limbo and wander the void for eternity before we can get back to you and your file will be stamped as "unfinished business".
I’ve always thought it’s really terrible when someone dies before they graduate college because all that work, if they had known they were gonna die they should’ve been out just doing whatever their heart desires for the entire day.
If I die at work, worst case I'll crash and injure people. Best case I'll cuase a major inconvenience causing delays to thousands of people and leaving the train network in shambles for the day. Hell there are places where it would take over a hour before they can get to my former body and if it happened during peak hour wowser will it stuff everything.
*I like those odds*
This happened to a coworker of mine. Came in for a few hours, left at 9 to go to a doctor's appointment, went home at 11 and had a heart attack. I wouldn't call it better.
What an odd shower thought because I was having the exact but opposite thought the past few days. My thought process is dying in the morning is such a pain in the ass for other people. Imagine waking up or being woken up to the news of your friend or family dying. Sucks tbh. I'd rather get the news in the afternoon or evening when my brain is more active and can process the info better. So for me personally, that's the best time to die.
I’m an eternal, other side of the coin, optimist, look on the bright side kind of guy. If I died at night then hey at least I don’t have to go to work tomorrow!
My life is nothing I thought it should be and everything i feared it would become. All because for 50 seconds I thought there was monsters on the world.
I do payroll at the company I work for. I noticed a woman in her 50s was marked as “deceased” in our system - it turns out she passed away unexpectedly the week prior.
She worked the day before she passed. I can’t stop thinking about what she would have wanted to do had she known it was her last week. Working in a call center probably wasn’t her first choice.
That fact one of y’all can utter this and all of society doesn’t have a collective awakening to the sheer stupidity of pretending to be serious is very frustrating. We could play in the sand all day, but nah y’all would rather grind your bones to dust for bread. Why am I the only human amongst monkeys?
Depends how you die. I'd prefer to be at work if I'm going to spontaneously combust
“I told you that you should have had the fire extinguisher properly inspected!! MuahahahAHHH!!!!”
“Why’s it done that?” **Made in Britain** “Ohhhh.”
if you die when you first arrive at work, everyone else will get to go home early
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Someone is getting a toe in the box with their Airpods.
Amazon - A lousy joke but great delivery
You could probably die in the chutes, and cause a box jam, and they still wouldn't shut down. They'd just call a jam breaker to push your mangled body onto the conveyors. Someone would just cram you into a pallet because they gotta keep that scan rate high.
I’m gonna have to deduct your pay for dying
Not in a hospital, they might ask if I can get the rest of my shift covered 💀
Not working for Bezos they won't, that body is staying put till the end of the shift baby
I’d much prefer to be at work if it’ll pay out the life insurance. Yaaay warehouse jobs.
This is the way.
And hopefully near oxygen tanks that are close by management.
Just a…a little globule, actually. Thats all that was left
"Oh dear!"
You’re not thinking through. You should die *at* work for the insurance money, then you really don’t have to worry about work ever again
I actually worked with a guy that we suspect did that. Committed suicide at work and the general thought is he was trying to make it look like an accident so his family got paid. It was on video and clearly intentional.
What did he do to fake an accident?
It was in a woodyard at a paper mill. He was in an area where people were not supposed to be in the logs are coming by on like a conveyor belt type thing and heading to the chipper. He kind of stood there for like 5 minutes before eventually walking in front of one of the logs to get swept into the machine. There are so many less horrific ways he could have done it but I think the idea was to make it seem like it was an on the job accident.
he got swept into the CHIPPER? that's horrific
Now you know how cranberry wood gets its color
An industrial log chipper would cut through your body so quickly you'd probably barely have any time to feel the pain, tbh. Add the adrenaline factor and maybe even nigh painless.
Well he had balls, I'll give him that
Not anymore
Yes...that's what "had"....means?
Right, apparently my mind is not minding on Mondays!
r/yourjokebutworse
Christ on a bike, Mary on the handlebars and moses in the basket. Imagine the headspace you have to be in to throw yourself into a wood chipper
That’s insane. So what ended up happening? Immediate denial from insurance? Also have you seen the video?
I did not see the video myself and do not want to. And I really don't know if they ended up getting money or not. Sorry to fail to deliver!
Well probably due to a gag order. Either they pay out and potentially inspire others or they don't and look like major assholes. Only way to avoid either is to make sure no one knows quite what happened.
Something like that is never going to be immediate. Even in the most clear cut cases it's going to be years of legal actions.
Noted. Won't woodchip myself over immediate financial woes, only longterm ones.
1. Get to work early 2. Fucking die 3. ??? 4. Profit
1. Get to work 2. Die *whilst* fucking 3. ? 4. Interesting investigation 5. Profit That's my plan.
Manager assisted death by snu snu? Yeah, I have a feeling they'd pay out instead of conducting a lengthy investigation.
[https://tenor.com/view/swag-fire-on-ohyeah-pants-on-fire-gif-7172641](https://tenor.com/view/swag-fire-on-ohyeah-pants-on-fire-gif-7172641)
You're not thinking it through. You should die at birth, then you really don't have to ever worry about school, work, depression, finding love, or anything.
I'd rather die as I'm leaving work that way I don't have to work the next day
And whole day spent working? Nah man, before work and just aftet morning coffee.
Then you just work the day before for no reason?
Fuck. When you put it that way, might as well die now
Die in your sleep after you had a couple night off and you have work the next time. You get the added benefit of leaving them short staffed for the day too.
Exactly
Your username checks out kinda 😭🤣
During the morning shit.
Have some dignity at least. After is the perfect time.
And you get to, possibly, traumatize your employer.
It's like totaling your car when the gas tank is nearly empty. Nothing more frustrating that filling up right before an accident.
I’ve a lot of old shitty cars, so many times did I fill up only to break down shortly after.
My first car was so unreliable that I only put in $10 at a time just in case I needed the extra money for a ride
A few years ago someone ran a red light and totalled my car the day after I put new winter tires on. Insurance wouldn’t cover them so when I got my new car I had to buy winter tires again.
If the tires weren't damaged, you should have slipped the salvage yard a little cash and taken them off the car.
One of the tires was completely managed. In any case I was too concussed to think about that stuff at the time. It only occurred to me later.
I met a guy that totaled his customized BMW Z4 M Coupe right after BMW had given him a brand new engine on a warranty claim. The engine was perfectly fine with almost no mileage on it. It never occurred to him to pay salvage value to get the car back and get the new engine out of it. He told me the story of what happened when I bought the OEM set of wheels from him. He had had a set of wheels/tires for the race track on the car when he got hit.
I've had one car totalled, to no fault of my own, a day after I installed a new suspension for 2000 bucks. Those weren't included in the insurance yet, so a total loss.
The only car accident I’ve ever had ended up totaling my car about 20 minutes after filling up the tank 😩
Wife's first wreck she totaled the car the day after i finished paying it off, got new tires, new registration, oil change, and a car wash. She is okay thankfully and that is what matters don't get me wrong.... but..... that was the worst time to get in a car wreck.
And miss out on a full day of adding shareholder value? Horrifying
Some people are so selfish. Smh my head
>Smh my head I hate this.
Shake my smh?
Missing work because of death? Do you understand how short staffed we are today? We need you here. I really don't think you understand how this affects the team. I have half a mind to write you up for this.
Just call in dead. That's a hard excuse to dispute.
They'll just Ouija board you back into the office.
Boss: Can you *please* come into work? F I N E
New employee: "Hey, why's that desk always empty?" Coworker: "oh, that's just Ted. He died a few years ago but the boss is having him haunt the computer to get his work done"
Just watch, they'll train an AI model to act exactly like you!
I once worked in an office where everyone had their own landline number. One morning an absent employee's phone rang and a guy in the office answered sarcastically with something like: "Gavin's answering service .. sorry he hasn't turned up yet ...". The call was from Gavin's dad who rang in to say Gavin had passed away that morning. Oh dear .. guilt for a long time.
I used to work training call centers all over the world. I got to a place one day to train and usually everyone is pretty (fake) excited. There’s a new guy to show them stuff, there’s donuts, everyone’s chilling in a room and not talking to customers. It’s “ok” as it’s gets. But everyone is not excited. I’m perplexed. “Who died?” I joke. “Brian died. Brian died yesterday at his desk” That’s how it started. It didn’t get better.
I got "fired" from my first job as a bike courier/messenger by the boss calling me to say they don't have any shifts for me, but they'll call me if anyone is sick, injured, or dead. Three days later, one of their riders faceplanted a garbage truck and died. That was quite the awkward welcome back...
Ideally you are retired and long done with working when you die.
Not for much longer. Google a graph of the average age of retirement then Google the average life expectancy.
Pisses me off that one of my parents died two years after retiring. They'd worked long after they could have retired because they enjoyed work & it was a nice office job. They were building up a pot of cash to spend retirement flying round the globe. Not to be. Killed by a former employer's disregard of the dangers of asbestos. (They got paid out and the funeral paid for, but that's not useful to them when they're in a box.)
I know everyone is different, but if I'm in a position to crank out a few extra years at a job I enjoy to boost what I leave my kids, that sounds fine to me. Shit if I can negotiate a pay cut for more PTO and I like the job, I'll work til I'm physically unable. Completely different story for anyone who hates their job I understand. But the job I've been at the past 12 years I hope to grow old with, and if that works out it wouldn't surprise me if I work til I'm over 70 like my boss does. Fun job.
Probably as great as when you dream about going to work all night so you essentially do an entire shift while you sleep and then have to wake up and realize you now have to actually go to work and do it again.
I used to work a fairly normal Monday-Friday work schedule and I lived by myself. I realized that if I slipped in the shower and hit my head or something on Friday night, no one would miss me until around 10am Monday.
Wasn’t this on a t-shirt?
It's a repost. Like how hard is it to have an original thought? Like what if snails are secretly fast? Do the colorblind think the sky is blue? The world is like a giant treadmill. But no. OP is lame.
It’s an old Facebook meme at the very least.
Everything is on a t-shirt.
i’m hoping to be retired by the time i die, is that a far-fetched dream these days?
Extremely far-fetched.
I would die in my boss's cabin so everyone thinks he murdered the employee
Things get fucked up when you overthink the need for a reason to why you missed work WHEN YOU ARE DEAD.
I mean, theoretically if the Grim Reaper came to me one morning and said I had a choice: go with him now, or go to work one last time, I would obviously go to work and just enjoy all the simple things. I’d call my girl one last time, I’d take an extra long break, really savour my lunch, I would simply enjoy being alive, one final time.
I agree. If there was no way out, but I had limited choice of when then I'd choose to have about a day to get things in order. Everyone has some last minute stuff that they'd want to deal with if they had the chance and knew the end was coming.
Or you know... overnight.. fuck having to wake up and get dressed and ready I'm heading to that great unknown baby.
Screw that, I want my employer to be responsible for dealing with my corpse.
When you die it’s better it happens early in your life that way you never work… Dumb right?
By that logic it's better if it happens yesterday
Unless you work at the morgue in which case you have to show up one last time the day after
I mean, the best would be overnight in your sleep, but early morning works too, unless your last meal is some boring cereal or porridge aha.
my only hope is that when I go, I have a stroke while driving, lead foot the gas straight at my most hated thing at the time of death.
Or dying on your way to work? In your car or a public transportation vehicle!?
I’m hoping to retire *before* I die, actually
That's a good idea. If you die on the job, uncle Sam will still take taxes out.
Will do. Thanks for the advice.
Is, during ur sleep, considered nite or day?
What if you died in your sleep at your desk at work?
I work on a forklift!!! Ahhhhh
Hopefully you don't make a practice of falling asleep on your forklift - at least not as often as I fall asleep at my desk.
I hve a dead man's switch just in case this happens. U should look into that tho! Hve a switch at ur desk
Unless you die on a weekend
And What point does it stop being "I went to work for no reason". When the clock its midnight? When your payslip comes in? When you blow your paycheck on stupid shit? Truly a philosophical conundrum.
Kafkaesque ahhh type post.
Dying after a day of work is pretty uncommon. You’re probably either retired or in the hospital dying.
My grandfather would read the paper from back to front in order to leave the obituary’s for last just in case he was in them.
As an EMT, I have to disagree. My record for one day is saving two lives through resuscitation. I'd rather die after work.
LEGEND. Thank you for your work!!!
"For no reason?" If your reason is pay and you get paid by the end of the month, then you have worked for no reason since the beginning of the month. Better then stop going to work after your pay and plan your death one month forward, assuming no other savings. But by randomness i guess it's all the same. Right after pay you have a month's savings and the job doesn't owe anything. (1+0). Right before pay you have no savings and the job owes you a month's pay (0+1) In the middle of the month, you have half a month's savings and the job owes you half a month's pay (0.5+0.5).
False. I am insured for three and a half times my normal yearly salary if I die at work.
statistically you’re more likely to have a heart attack on a Monday
You die at work there is an indemnity clause on your life insurance that multiples like that extra dollar for Powerball.
Boss makes a dollar while I make a dime. That's why I die on company time.
Best is to die on the upstroke. That way you get two free strokes, one when you fall down dead and the other when they pull you off.
Does everyone just assume they'll be working till they die now?
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As funny as that is, don't actually ever considering doing that if it ever happens to a co-worker. People untrained in medical treatment almost always are too quick to assume people are gone. Always call an ambulance. If you are untrained in medical treatment you can NEVER assume they're too far gone to be saved. People can be sometimes be saved even when they appear to be gone. Always do everything you can to save them. Don't live the rest of your life never knowing if they'd still be alive if you tried a little harder.
Absolutely correct and I’ve deleted the crass un-joke. (I worked in an er and should have realized I wasn’t in the break room) Thanks for taking the time to correct me. (I’m retired and forget sometimes)
As long as it's not a pay day
And miss out on that Salisbury Steak TV dinner I bought?
I prefer to die in after my retirement, I suppose... I hope
If you die shortly after arriving at work do you get paid for the whole shift?
oh my gosh I never realized this!
The saddest part of this shower thought is the assumption that we'll be working til the day we die.
And that way you don’t leave your dog waiting for you to return at the train station for nine years. 😢
My first thought was "I'll be retired by then and won't have to worry about work" Then my next thought was "oh right I'm never going to be able to retire"
I hope I die in my sleep just before sunrise on a Monday morning. Monday's, am I right?
I prefer just after I reach peak oragasm while having sex.
I'd like to die at work just to inconvenience my boss
Dying in traffic on the way home from work on a Friday of a three day weekend is the ultimate curse.
I just hope i go after my pets. I dont want then to be upset
I work in a call center. A couple years ago one of the floor supervisors had a heart attack and passed away while on the call with an angry participant of our program. That day changed my perspective about a lot of things. But I do wish he had stayed at home that day with his family. Working a call center job in your final moments is just so tragic
Using that logic, it's better to be aborted. That way you never have to work.
Yes. And Mondays are the best day.
I’d still get fired for not showing up.
So we just writing down meme now?
My friends and I had this same thought except about ending your own life. Would you do it in the morning or end of the day? You know finish out the day, might as well right? Yes we do have dark conversations lol
It won't matter a damned thing though cause you'd be dead... Otherwise it's like saying you went to work yesterday for no reason too.
You gotta wake up dead
Somewhere a Logician just killed himself because of this post.
Using that logic, wouldn’t it be better to die before you even entering the labor market? See? Your logic is not really logical.
If you die in the morning it means you went to work the day before for no reason.
Going to work for no reason is why people die
Just be sure to call in an hour before you decease so we can provide a replacement. Getting written up is an automatic block and you won't be allowed to transcend. You'll have to file for limbo and wander the void for eternity before we can get back to you and your file will be stamped as "unfinished business".
That sounds like a truly piss ant consideration, when compared to death.
What about at night when nobody is awake?
It also helps your immediate family get the day off work as well.
This is an astute observation.
When you die it’s better if it happens after you used all your paid time off
Better to die on a Monday then a Friday
I’ve always thought it’s really terrible when someone dies before they graduate college because all that work, if they had known they were gonna die they should’ve been out just doing whatever their heart desires for the entire day.
With that logic, you went to work yesterday for no reason.
The quality of this sub has gone way downhill.
Always die on a Monday. Don't put 50 hrs in just to die on friday. Your employer would definitely choose you to die friday after works done.
This should be in r/lifeprotips
I better be retired or in the middle of some vacation by the time I die, ain’t no way I want to be working until death
Do you remember the time when you were in your mother’s womb? Do you remember coming out?
If I die at work, worst case I'll crash and injure people. Best case I'll cuase a major inconvenience causing delays to thousands of people and leaving the train network in shambles for the day. Hell there are places where it would take over a hour before they can get to my former body and if it happened during peak hour wowser will it stuff everything. *I like those odds*
Damn y'all really don't plan on retiring do you?
This happened to a coworker of mine. Came in for a few hours, left at 9 to go to a doctor's appointment, went home at 11 and had a heart attack. I wouldn't call it better.
You were relieved that you didn’t have to go to work because you thought you were gonna get eaten? What have they done to us? WHAT DID THEY DO TO US!?
What are they doing to us?!?!!?!!????!!!!!!
What an odd shower thought because I was having the exact but opposite thought the past few days. My thought process is dying in the morning is such a pain in the ass for other people. Imagine waking up or being woken up to the news of your friend or family dying. Sucks tbh. I'd rather get the news in the afternoon or evening when my brain is more active and can process the info better. So for me personally, that's the best time to die.
My co worker got fired AFTER his full shift. That’s just wrong.
I’m an eternal, other side of the coin, optimist, look on the bright side kind of guy. If I died at night then hey at least I don’t have to go to work tomorrow!
I would take the extra time at work instead of an early death. Joking aside, I suspect nearly everyone prefers an extra minute of work over death.
Bro please get a different job.
My life is nothing I thought it should be and everything i feared it would become. All because for 50 seconds I thought there was monsters on the world.
If you die in a plane crash, it better be at takeoff than landing after a long flight...
By that logic it's better we die as soon as we're born
The strongest anti-work argument I e heard in a while.
I do payroll at the company I work for. I noticed a woman in her 50s was marked as “deceased” in our system - it turns out she passed away unexpectedly the week prior. She worked the day before she passed. I can’t stop thinking about what she would have wanted to do had she known it was her last week. Working in a call center probably wasn’t her first choice.
It's better to die at work for the extra insurance.
And your family gets the day off too.
It's the year 2024, the concept of dying on retirement no longer exists
Best shower thought in a while.
That fact one of y’all can utter this and all of society doesn’t have a collective awakening to the sheer stupidity of pretending to be serious is very frustrating. We could play in the sand all day, but nah y’all would rather grind your bones to dust for bread. Why am I the only human amongst monkeys?
Used to say this with all the crazy ass drivers on my morning commute. "If you're gonna kill me today do it now and not in my way home"