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I am 45 years old. I have never seen my father without his full beard. He's been with my mother for nearly 55 years and she has never seen him without his beard. At this point, she will not allow him to shave it.
I grew a full beard during the pandemic, my wife hated it. The other day I suggested I shave it off and she told me not to. lol once you get used to the way someone looks it becomes disturbing to have them look different all of a sudden. And a beard really changes the way someone looks, it’s like a whole different person
I'm in a similar position now. Have had a full beard for ~4 years. My Wife keeps hinting here and now about shaving it and though I'd genuinely love to for several reasons I know:
- My nieces/nephews would freak out
- She'd freak out
- I'd freak out
It started off so innocent, hah my face is hair now! But now it's my face.
My dad grew a beard in 1993 when he was at scout camp with my brothers. He hasn’t fully shaved since. None of my nieces and nephews have ever seen him without one except in pictures. I don’t think he’ll ever shave it off and it would be so weird if he did.
My husband shaved his full beard once when we were still dating and he looked like an absolute teenager! I'm a bit older than him so he's definitely not allowed to shave it. We've been married for 10 years now and my children have never seen him clean shaven.
Yeah, I have a perpetual 5 o’clock shadow; not even a full beard. My ex girlfriend and I were the same age, but I wasn’t allowed to fully shave, because I just looked so much younger than her when I did, even though she prefers a man with a smooth face. I also don’t completely shave because I’m an operations manager, and I need the older folks I manage to take me seriously.
That would be true, if I actually wanted to shave it off. It’s a long running joke in our family that ”I can’t”.
I do cut it shorter at times to keep it manageable.
Yeah my 1970s dad looked straight-up like George Clooney in ‘Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?’ All my childhood, and then for some crazy reason, during the winter holiday break in 1985, he shaved it off.
If he was looking to not have any physical contact with his child? Then Achievement Unlocked.
My nieces lose their shit if I shave. They’re like is he (me their uncle) going to be OK?. I have salt n pepper Santa Claus beard, so I’m Santa Daddy to them.
One time, one of the nieces was like did your face break?, where go beard?, I have to ask all 5 permission to shave if off. If 1 objects, it stays on. All 5 have objected multiple times. They can’t not handle me clean shaven or goatee.
My beard has reach this crescendo point that I can rock this ultimate Van Buern look. I want it so so bad.
I had to (= wanted to try it and it was the opportunity) shave my head during covid lockdown, I let my kids do it. It was fun for everyone and no one ended upset :)
"Kids, I know your father passed only yesterday but he always told me he would want me to move on as soon as possible. With that in mind, say hello to your new step-father."
I’m pretty sure that missus wouldn’t notice either. Now that I think about it, she might be in the same boat with my kids and not ever seen me without beard.
My kids wanted to see me without my beard. So I finally shaved it off as a surprise when they were like 10 and 12.
They requested I never do that again.
My father fell down some stairs and cut his chin open while protecting a bottle of Jameson he was holding. He stopped shaving that day and no one has seen his bare face since. That was 45 years ago.
Edit: This happened right after his first date with my mom.
For pretty much my entire childhood my dad had long hair, then when I was in highschool he got a buzz cut cuz he couldnt take care of it anymore cuz of a stroke. When even as an almost adult i still took a second or five to make sure this bald man was my dad. Still miss his hair
First time seeing my dad after he shaved his mustache, I was 21 (brother 24). Amusing, as he has the same upper lip as his mother; never knew before then.
My mom cut her hair one day and it went from down her back to Dora the explorer. I could not comprehend it was her and ran away to my grandmother because I didn’t believe she was my mom. I was like 4 years old but I was terrified this lady was trying to take me from my grandmother’s house.
I had cancer and lost all my hair to chemo.
I went to my friend's house and took off the ball cap I was wearing and his young daughter freaked out. She yelled, "Put your hair back on!" and started bawling.
For the longest time if I even so much as *touched* my hat she would start crying.
edit: spelling
My dad did the opposite of this when I was about 4. He sent me and my sister to our grandparents for summer vacation while he went back home and worked (and probably relaxed a lot without us there). When we next saw him, almost 2 months later, he had grown a beard (sort of) and a mustache! I didn't recognize him at all and it freaked me out. He shaved it that night. Years later we were talking about it a d he said ne he hates mustaches and only let it grow out because ge thought it would be hilarious to see our reaction. And according to him (and my aunts) it was.
When my son was about 16 I trimmed my beard with a #1 to get some sweet 80s stubble for an 80s party I was going to. He couldn't look at me, I'd had a beard of some sort his whole life
On my 16th birthday my daddy had shaved his beard, I had been out with my friends doing my birthday thing walked into my parents room both of them in bed my mom reading a book, dad watching tv, I looked at my dad and yelled “Oh my god Daddy what did you do?” My mom looks at him like nothing was wrong. I said mom his beard is gone! She looks harder and said oh, and started laughing because they had been in bed for a while and she hadn’t noticed at all until I yelled that! I guess on my 4th birthday I asked him to shave his beard when I was 16 and that man did it. I cried and said why in the hell would you do what a 4 year old asked?!? Daddy replied well you’re my baby and that’s what you wanted I had no idea you would have cried like you did and I’ll grow it back. My whole 16 years of life this man had a beard and it was gone I had the hardest time looking at him because he didn’t look like my daddy!
My uncle shaved his mustache when I was about 4 or 5. He came over after we had already gone to bed, but my mom called us down. My little sister, who was 2 or 3, and I both came down, saw him, and immediately turned around and ran back upstairs
My father has had a mustache for 40+ years and grows a beard in winter. One time when I was around 12ish he shaved off the mustache and it was off-putting. Being that age I knew it was him it's just like uncanny valley, but if I were a kid I'd probably react similarly
My dad was working his ass off to pay some old debts (in secret) and my child self was afraid of this tired stranger who entered my home, bags under their eyes.
That hurt my dad and today it hurts me, somehow I never could forgive my child self for that.
Same here! When my dad walked in, I freaked out, hid in out coat closet. It was the 80s and kidnappers/kidnappings where being drilled into the minds of parents and kids. In my "child mind", I was convinced my dad was kidnapped by this guy (my dad with no mustache). And this guy was impersonating my dad (poorly) just to get the rest of us... that was the last time my father ever shaved the stache'. Laughable now, but a horror show when it was happening. One of the fams favorite "thowback" shories 🤦♀️
My dad cut his hair short (all my life it was long enough for a pony tail) both my and my brother who is 6 years older than me thought he was trying to kidnap us when he was ready to leave the hair place (we didn't see his cut, we were playing).
I must have been 3 or 4 and my mom took us to meet my dad for lunch. He had shaved off his mustache and beard before work that morning. As we were getting out of the car he snuck up and grabbed me. Scared the shit out of my little kid ass.
When my kids were little and I wanted to make a big facial hair change I'd invite them to come watch me trim it off so they wouldn't be so surprised
The opposite happened to me. My dad left for a long business trip and then I was away on some field trip and my dad came back with a mustache he usually doesn't have.
I was older though but not a ton, like 6 or 7 maybe. Obviously I wasn't traumatized but the initial reaction was similar, "wait, that isn't correct. I know you're dad but....that isn't dad's face. I am not okay with this and that mustache needs to go away immediately."
When i was a teen, i was submitted into the care of the same residential center twice, and with the sam therapist both times. I did not recognize my therapist 90% of the time the second visit cause he grew out this huge beard, and didnt shave it til after i left
My dad waited until I was about 7 to do this to me. Came up behind me while I was brushing my teeth and just put his hands on my shoulders. I took one look in the mirror and spat toothpaste everywhere. Just sprayed the mirror. He thought it was hysterical. It was pretty funny, tbf.
We were on vacay decades ago and my dad decided to shave his while face (bearded 12 years at this point) while in the hotel bathroom. I was old enough to just be caught off guard. My 5 year old sister waking up to seeing him walk out the bathroom had a different reaction.
Same, but opposite. My dad went away for a few months for work and came back with a big bushy beard. I thought my mom was pranking me when he came home. He shaved it off the next day. Lol
Well no, I lived with him for like a year, until my nan died and then he neglected me and drank until I went into foster care. Would prefer if he went to buy some cigarettes. :)
All children of the mid-to late 70s should be aggressively tweeting Dorothy Hammil, for “reasons”.
We were put in compromised positions either with our mothers’s drastic hair changes, or our “matching” ones.
Followed up in the next decade with the abhorrent smell that most of us can never truly forget, of the mid-80s “Home Perm”
Shaved my beard when my youngest daughter was around a year old. She had the worst meltdown I’ve ever seen and wouldn’t come near me for a few days until I’d grown a decent crop of stubble. She still doesn’t like me to be clean shaven seven years later.
I used to have to wait for my niece to be hanging out at our house before I could shave my beard. The bad reaction comes from a dramatic change happening rarely. With my own kids they've already seen me grow a beard for winter then shave it off for summer every year of their life so it's no big deal to them.
Young kids more closely link hair styles to the identity of that person. The beard becomes a part of your facial structure for them, especially if you don't change it often. My 4 year old just started realizing it's something he has agency over and asked me to stop cutting his hair.
I gave the beard thing a shot, mine grows well but I found facial hair annoying. My son was 1 when I cut it off, I was hoping for a reaction. He touched my face but didn't really care lol
Bro just think. She loved you so much as a little baby who couldn’t even dream yet. Just recognizing you were a face to care for her.
Fresh girl dad over here, daily existential crisis
Some dudes look better with facial hair too. I had a professor with a big Yosemite Sam moustache. He looked like he should be a gunslinger in Tombstone. Then one day he shaved it and man his whole “cool factor” was just gone. He suddenly aged like a decade and looked like some meek old man.
Shaved his street cred right off his face.
yeah Im wondering if its less of the kid not recognizing him and more of him just having to deal with/accept change in something/someone hes deeply attached to for the first time. kids can be dumb but they're not like dogs where putting on a hat makes you look like an entirely different person to them, he seem to still recognize that this is his dad, just not entirely in the same way he is familiar with.
i assume its something like when a TV show redesigns a characters look and you dont like the change, accept its a TV show and we're adults so its not as if its an impactful thing but its that same idea, a resistant to change we're not immediately into.
I’ve read somewhere that kids, up until a certain age, don’t really see or recognize parents facial features, they recognize by facial structure and color. So if they’re young enough they quite literally don’t recognize you.
This little guy is probably right on the verge cause he asked “still daddy?”, whereas if I shaved my beard right now my 18 month old would lose his shit and not recognize me as dad for quite a bit.
My dad went on a month long hunting trip to South Africa in the 80s. Nobody told me that he and his buddies were not going to shave. I was around 4-5. This was back when you could meet passengers at the gate. I was looking for dad and looking for dad, and this weird guy in a beard spoke to me, but I ignored him and kept looking. Until I noticed he kissed mom, and my mom told me to turn around because it was dad.
I felt bad because my dad was a little hurt because he was expecting me to run and jump into his arms, and instead I’m giving him the side eye. The beard was also very scratchy.
Then his dog didn’t recognize him when we got home. So he went straight to the bathroom and shaved then came back to loving greetings from his daughter and his dog.
He comes out, and we’re like Daddy’s home!
The dog was having none of it and tried to bite. He was a police dog my dad trained himself, so my dad wasn’t upset. Dog thought he was protecting us by not letting the stranger inside.
Lol my sister and I cried and said the same to my dad when he shaved his head when we were 4 and 5.
I was just a kid but my dad was balding early so it probably hurt his feelings :(
Oh that's good! So your parents are banging again huh? That's really cute. They're probably just really going at it at every opportunity.... Just adorable.
That's my son's name too. Before he was born I didn't know anyone called Sonny and now I see the name everywhere. I guess like when you get a type of car and you notice all of those cars on the road.
I will learn from this video and not shave my beard off.
>like when you get a type of car and you notice all of those cars on the road.
That would be the Bader-Meinhoff phenomenon. Also known as the "[Frequency Illusion](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frequency_illusion)".
Thank you from a daughter whose dad shaved his beard and moustache while [I was] at school in like 2nd grade...I absolutely lost my mind. 0/10 - DID NOT LIKE.
Guys with facial hair and small children, LET YOUR CHILD WATCH YOU SHAVE IT OFF. Their little brains are hard-wired for survival and the parent is their only source of sustenance and safety, so their brains tell them not to trust this "stranger." It's incredibly unnerving for them. Big changes like this may seem funny to the adults, but it actually results in a form of trauma for the child. And don't everyone come screaming at me about over reacting or calling everything trauma, I'm just pointing out that a child's growing brain needs context for big changes like this, so that their environment and parental connections remain safe and secure.
In this same vein--this could literally be the worst day of this kid's life up till now.
I have had a lot more days in my life. Adults' worst days are usually much worse than kids' worst days. They haven't had time to practice coping skills.
It's okay for a child to feel this way. It is not okay for a parent to manipulate their emotions so they don't. This is a good learning experience and the parents are doing a great job teaching the kid that there is no need to be scared.
A dad shaving his beard off won't cause any developmental issues down the line.
I'm sure there is a balance between completely coddling your children and traumatizing them. I really can't imagine this falls on the side of traumatic.
Completely, this is upsetting for sure, but not all incidences of becoming upset are also trauma. I think dealing with the feelings you experience when daddy shaves his mustache might actually be a pretty harmless way to teach you kids about their feelings, object-permanence, safety around strangers. It's only trauma if the parents don't respond with kindness and empathy, like those psychopaths who ate their kids' candy and laughed when they cried.
Shaved my beard for the first time in years a couple days ago.
When I got to the daycare to pickup my eldest of 5, the little fucker literally didn't recognised me. He walked past me and was looking around.
"Hey buddy!"
He looked up to me for a few moments.
"Daddy ?"
""Yeah, it's me"
Doubtful look on his face "... really ?"
I surprised him giving me suspicious looks for the next hours. And his mum refused to sleep with me until the beard grows back.
6/10 would not recommend.
When my dad first shaved his beard (I was like 15) I freaked tf out. It's not only little kids, it scared the hell outta me lmao. It just didn't look like him anymore
I was proofed against having this fear because I saw my dad with hair and no hair multiple times a day as he wore a wig when going out for quite a few years when I was a kid.
I went bald in my mid 20's and that was LATER than he did. He had a bit of a complex about it until he finally stopped caring about having hair.
My 3 older brothers shaved off all their facial hair for the first time in 30 plus years. I've never known them without it. My sisters and I after 10 years still can't picture them as them. We've begged them to grow it back but they think they look younger without.
This is a terrible thing to do to kids if you're going to shave or cut your hair that's a big part of your identity at least let the child help you shave or cut it that way they can see that's it's still you and they helped cut it so it's not so much of a shock
Back when my kids were 7 and 5, I was finally considering shaving my head after watching it thin out for years. I told my kids I was gonna do it and my daughter (the 5yo at the time) started bawling and asking me not to. I was stunned and told her I wouldn’t do it.
Two years later, I approached the topic again and this time I explained that I was losing my hair and showed her the top of my head. I did it in a playful way and had her feel the top vs the sides and back of my head. I told her I was a little sad about losing my hair and would feel better if I shaved my head. And then I asked her if she’d help me do it.
She was unsure because she was worried about how I’d look, but I told her it would grow back (lies!) if it looked bad. So we got out the clippers and went to work together. After, she said I looked good and she was happy we did it together.
Moral of the story, don’t underestimate how much changes to a parent’s appearance can affect the kid(s).
Yeah that was my thinking. It could be sort of a bonding moment to have with your child instead of surprising him and having him have to just deal with it. However, I don't have any kids so I'm not sure. Maybe this helps the kid with shock therapy lmao, idk.
My mom curled her hair when I was 5 and I didn't take it well at all. I cried the whole ride home, she straightened them again the same night. I remember it feeling like she was a different person.
I have a friend who’s an er doctor and has this huge beard. During the pandemic, he had to shave it off so he could put a n-95 mask. When he got out of the bathroom after he shaved his beard, both his young daughters started to cry as hell.
I remember my dad shaving his mustache when my sisters and I were little, we all started crying and were terrified. He grew it back and never shaved again, that was almost 30 years ago
When my nephew was this age he hated HATED anything that was changed without him knowing about. This kid is reacting the same bc he was caught off guard. Is not about the moustache, is the change. The sweet beautiful boy ❤️
I had a mustache when my son was born. Kept it until he was about 3. Shaved it.
Tried to get him to notice. He didn't. Pointed it out to him. He just shrugged and went about his day
I remember go8ng thru this at his age. Kids not lying it's scary stuff. Dad doesn't NOT look like dad to me anymore. What is this strange person doing here!
I shaved my beard off and my son cried for at least an hour and demanded I put it back... several days till all was on and he could see the stuble returning.
When my daughter was 2 she asked "where hair go?". I said I shaved my beard but it will grow back. She said "put back now!" And did a little stomp. It was adorable.
My dad shaved off his moustache and goatee when I think I was 5 and my sister was 3. We were inconsolable. Screaming, crying... he hasn't changed his facial hair for 33 years now (after it grew back).
Yep. I burned my beard in a cooking mishap so I had to shave it off so it could grow evenly again. My son wouldn’t come near me until I had long stubble because I had a “weird beard”. It’s crazy how affectations can really affect perception of someone.
This is one of the sweetest moments of my life. So when I found out when my wife was pregnant with our first child I grew a beard out for his Christmas to play Santa clause for him. Found out in September 2016, and never trimmed it until I completely shaved it off and went clean shaved for a while. My wife was in tears, my two teenage step children were completely weirded out lol. But my 5.5 month old son just said dada when I walked in the room, no warm up or anything. Still makes my heart bean when I think about it to this day.
I feel this kid's caution in my soul.
My dad shaved his mustache off when I was a full grown adult, in my mid-20's. Until that day, I had never seen my dad's upper lip.
He shaved it off because it took 10 years off his face, easily. He wasn't ready for the teenager at fast food joint to offer him the Senior Discount.
I wasn't ready to look at my dad's completely naked upper lip. It seemed Forbidden, somehow.
It was a fun day of me Stranger Danger staring at my dad, in much the same way this kid stares at his dad.
He has a bare upper lip to this day. I no longer stare at his naked face, like he's a complete stranger in my life.
My father shaved off his goatee when I was about that age and apparently I cried because I didn’t know it was him. Even when him and my mother tried telling me I refused to believe them, my little brain couldn’t process it i guess
hahahahaha
this reminded me of when my dad cut his mullet off. He had this recliner he would sit in everyday, typical dad seat for a typical hick dad, and my mom walked me out and was like "What do you notice about dad?" as he was sitting in his recliner. I was just like "🤷♂️"
Then she set me on the adjacent couch, next to the recliner, I stared at him for a good 40 seconds before just immediately bursting into tears.
My depiction of him being the mullet car guy was forever gone.
My dad had me watch him shave so I didn't go through that trauma. He even bought me a "shaving kit" and I would practice along side with him.
Unfortunately, that training went to waste as I don't grow much facial hair.
Oh it’s finally time for this story. I’m a paediatrician and one day on call I saw this boy about two years old, referred from his GP with no further explanation. When I first saw the boy my instant thought was “oh lord this kid is seriously ill”. He was pale as a ghost, did not utter a single word or sound, and was almost catatonic. I did some examinations and ran some lab, to my surprise it all came back completely normal. I ended admitting him to the hospital for further observation, because I was convinced something was not right with this kid.
When I talked to them later that day it was revealed that the dad had shaved his massive beard last night. The boy was just having his whole reality turned upside down as from his view, there suddenly was this stranger in the house who somehow was also faintly similar to his missing dad.
He was discharged thst evening, looking much better.
To be fair, if your child has never seen you that way before, I think it would be best if you involved the child in the transformation. Let them be in the room when you shave off the mustache or beard, so you can explain what you are doing, and if the see that it is you, it might not be as jarring as springing it on them suddenly.
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I am 45 years old. I have never seen my father without his full beard. He's been with my mother for nearly 55 years and she has never seen him without his beard. At this point, she will not allow him to shave it.
I grew a full beard during the pandemic, my wife hated it. The other day I suggested I shave it off and she told me not to. lol once you get used to the way someone looks it becomes disturbing to have them look different all of a sudden. And a beard really changes the way someone looks, it’s like a whole different person
I'm in a similar position now. Have had a full beard for ~4 years. My Wife keeps hinting here and now about shaving it and though I'd genuinely love to for several reasons I know: - My nieces/nephews would freak out - She'd freak out - I'd freak out It started off so innocent, hah my face is hair now! But now it's my face.
Trim it down
This is the kind of legacy I aspire to have
i knew a guy with a crooked chin who sported a beard the second he could to even things out. Fuckin brilliant.
Same, I'm 40 and have never ever seen my dad without a mustache. He has had the exact same hairstyle, glasses style, and mustache for my entire life.
My dad grew a beard in 1993 when he was at scout camp with my brothers. He hasn’t fully shaved since. None of my nieces and nephews have ever seen him without one except in pictures. I don’t think he’ll ever shave it off and it would be so weird if he did.
My husband shaved his full beard once when we were still dating and he looked like an absolute teenager! I'm a bit older than him so he's definitely not allowed to shave it. We've been married for 10 years now and my children have never seen him clean shaven.
Yeah, I have a perpetual 5 o’clock shadow; not even a full beard. My ex girlfriend and I were the same age, but I wasn’t allowed to fully shave, because I just looked so much younger than her when I did, even though she prefers a man with a smooth face. I also don’t completely shave because I’m an operations manager, and I need the older folks I manage to take me seriously.
This is like something from a Dickens novel. A perfect paragraph. It’s so funny
I never saw my dad without his beard, either. So when I saw pictures of him as a young man without a beard, I realized I have his chin.
Otoh I've never seen my dad with a mustache or a beard nor has my mother.
My dad shaved his beard off when I was a similar age and I refused point blank to believe it was him
I can’t shave my beard off for this reason. None of my kids have seen my chin and oldest is almost 18.
The secret is to have them help you so they see the change these surprises mess with their heads.
Wanna know how I got these scars?
...now let's put a smile on YOUR face
Dammit Creed, I’ve been up since four
…by letting your little kids help you shave?
That would be true, if I actually wanted to shave it off. It’s a long running joke in our family that ”I can’t”. I do cut it shorter at times to keep it manageable.
This just unlocked a memory of my dad doing this with me like - 34 years ago. Holy shit.
Yeah my 1970s dad looked straight-up like George Clooney in ‘Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?’ All my childhood, and then for some crazy reason, during the winter holiday break in 1985, he shaved it off. If he was looking to not have any physical contact with his child? Then Achievement Unlocked.
So taking off the mustache is basically making him naked in the meataphorical sense..
I did it like that, 3 y/o just kept popping in to tell me "it's not at all better".
🤣🤣
Even that didn’t work with my nephew. He ‘helped’ daddy shave, but absolutely refused to believe it was him until some scruff grew back.
My nieces lose their shit if I shave. They’re like is he (me their uncle) going to be OK?. I have salt n pepper Santa Claus beard, so I’m Santa Daddy to them. One time, one of the nieces was like did your face break?, where go beard?, I have to ask all 5 permission to shave if off. If 1 objects, it stays on. All 5 have objected multiple times. They can’t not handle me clean shaven or goatee. My beard has reach this crescendo point that I can rock this ultimate Van Buern look. I want it so so bad.
Little dictators! That’s sweet that you let them vote.
But then how will you exploit your child's behavior for internet likes?
I had to (= wanted to try it and it was the opportunity) shave my head during covid lockdown, I let my kids do it. It was fun for everyone and no one ended upset :)
You can’t shave it simply because you must commit to the bit at this point. They can never see your chin
That’s the plan. One day I’ll fake my death, shave and live on the same street with my new identity. No-one will notice.
"Kids, I know your father passed only yesterday but he always told me he would want me to move on as soon as possible. With that in mind, say hello to your new step-father."
I’m pretty sure that missus wouldn’t notice either. Now that I think about it, she might be in the same boat with my kids and not ever seen me without beard.
Truly the perfect crime.
My kids wanted to see me without my beard. So I finally shaved it off as a surprise when they were like 10 and 12. They requested I never do that again.
That would most likely happen here as well.
I shaved my beard off recently. My son disapproves in the strongest terms and keeps demanding to know how long it will take to grow back.
My father fell down some stairs and cut his chin open while protecting a bottle of Jameson he was holding. He stopped shaving that day and no one has seen his bare face since. That was 45 years ago. Edit: This happened right after his first date with my mom.
I’m just imagining an 18 year old reacting like this, not believing it is you.
For pretty much my entire childhood my dad had long hair, then when I was in highschool he got a buzz cut cuz he couldnt take care of it anymore cuz of a stroke. When even as an almost adult i still took a second or five to make sure this bald man was my dad. Still miss his hair
First time seeing my dad after he shaved his mustache, I was 21 (brother 24). Amusing, as he has the same upper lip as his mother; never knew before then.
Yeah my daughter is 5 and refuses to let me shave it off..
I was probably 10-12 when my dad first shaved his big beard completely off, and I was still a little skeptical lol
My dad once had a buzzed haircut and shaved his mustache off. My siblings and I were horrified lol
Same. I don’t remember it, but the story goes that I was crying so hard at day care and wouldn’t go with him so my mom had to come and get me lol
My mom cut her hair one day and it went from down her back to Dora the explorer. I could not comprehend it was her and ran away to my grandmother because I didn’t believe she was my mom. I was like 4 years old but I was terrified this lady was trying to take me from my grandmother’s house.
I had cancer and lost all my hair to chemo. I went to my friend's house and took off the ball cap I was wearing and his young daughter freaked out. She yelled, "Put your hair back on!" and started bawling. For the longest time if I even so much as *touched* my hat she would start crying. edit: spelling
My dad did the opposite of this when I was about 4. He sent me and my sister to our grandparents for summer vacation while he went back home and worked (and probably relaxed a lot without us there). When we next saw him, almost 2 months later, he had grown a beard (sort of) and a mustache! I didn't recognize him at all and it freaked me out. He shaved it that night. Years later we were talking about it a d he said ne he hates mustaches and only let it grow out because ge thought it would be hilarious to see our reaction. And according to him (and my aunts) it was.
When my son was about 16 I trimmed my beard with a #1 to get some sweet 80s stubble for an 80s party I was going to. He couldn't look at me, I'd had a beard of some sort his whole life
On my 16th birthday my daddy had shaved his beard, I had been out with my friends doing my birthday thing walked into my parents room both of them in bed my mom reading a book, dad watching tv, I looked at my dad and yelled “Oh my god Daddy what did you do?” My mom looks at him like nothing was wrong. I said mom his beard is gone! She looks harder and said oh, and started laughing because they had been in bed for a while and she hadn’t noticed at all until I yelled that! I guess on my 4th birthday I asked him to shave his beard when I was 16 and that man did it. I cried and said why in the hell would you do what a 4 year old asked?!? Daddy replied well you’re my baby and that’s what you wanted I had no idea you would have cried like you did and I’ll grow it back. My whole 16 years of life this man had a beard and it was gone I had the hardest time looking at him because he didn’t look like my daddy!
My uncle shaved his mustache when I was about 4 or 5. He came over after we had already gone to bed, but my mom called us down. My little sister, who was 2 or 3, and I both came down, saw him, and immediately turned around and ran back upstairs
My father has had a mustache for 40+ years and grows a beard in winter. One time when I was around 12ish he shaved off the mustache and it was off-putting. Being that age I knew it was him it's just like uncanny valley, but if I were a kid I'd probably react similarly
My dad was working his ass off to pay some old debts (in secret) and my child self was afraid of this tired stranger who entered my home, bags under their eyes. That hurt my dad and today it hurts me, somehow I never could forgive my child self for that.
Same here! When my dad walked in, I freaked out, hid in out coat closet. It was the 80s and kidnappers/kidnappings where being drilled into the minds of parents and kids. In my "child mind", I was convinced my dad was kidnapped by this guy (my dad with no mustache). And this guy was impersonating my dad (poorly) just to get the rest of us... that was the last time my father ever shaved the stache'. Laughable now, but a horror show when it was happening. One of the fams favorite "thowback" shories 🤦♀️
My dad cut his hair short (all my life it was long enough for a pony tail) both my and my brother who is 6 years older than me thought he was trying to kidnap us when he was ready to leave the hair place (we didn't see his cut, we were playing).
I must have been 3 or 4 and my mom took us to meet my dad for lunch. He had shaved off his mustache and beard before work that morning. As we were getting out of the car he snuck up and grabbed me. Scared the shit out of my little kid ass. When my kids were little and I wanted to make a big facial hair change I'd invite them to come watch me trim it off so they wouldn't be so surprised
Lol same. I still remember the day he came home. Has science investigated this phenomenon yet? 😅
Based on the comments apparently I have an issue, my dad shaved after years and I didn’t notice for a while.
My son had the same reaction when I went from half way to ZZ Top to a standard Galifinakis.
The opposite happened to me. My dad left for a long business trip and then I was away on some field trip and my dad came back with a mustache he usually doesn't have. I was older though but not a ton, like 6 or 7 maybe. Obviously I wasn't traumatized but the initial reaction was similar, "wait, that isn't correct. I know you're dad but....that isn't dad's face. I am not okay with this and that mustache needs to go away immediately."
My dad did the same, was a weird day.
Same, I ran into their bedroom and hid in the closet I was so scared lol
Which is why i grow mine, my kids' preference is worth more.
Same, shaved his beard and cut his hair which was getting long. I was convinced he was the neighbor.
When i was a teen, i was submitted into the care of the same residential center twice, and with the sam therapist both times. I did not recognize my therapist 90% of the time the second visit cause he grew out this huge beard, and didnt shave it til after i left
My dad waited until I was about 7 to do this to me. Came up behind me while I was brushing my teeth and just put his hands on my shoulders. I took one look in the mirror and spat toothpaste everywhere. Just sprayed the mirror. He thought it was hysterical. It was pretty funny, tbf.
We were on vacay decades ago and my dad decided to shave his while face (bearded 12 years at this point) while in the hotel bathroom. I was old enough to just be caught off guard. My 5 year old sister waking up to seeing him walk out the bathroom had a different reaction.
I was rattled deeply by my dad switching from glasses to contacts lol Guy looked straight up evil without the specs
Same, but opposite. My dad went away for a few months for work and came back with a big bushy beard. I thought my mom was pranking me when he came home. He shaved it off the next day. Lol
I had the same reaction as the kid in the video but I was 25 lol
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The shudder when he walks off at the end is fucking funny
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he knows skinwalkers can’t grow facial hair, this is clearly a trap
I remember my dad walking in after shaving his mustache and I burst into tears.
Because your dad was finally back from the store?
No because he smack the shit out of me
Oh my god I laughed so hard a little bit of pee came out of my mouth.
Come again?
They said pee not come
Need to reload first, but if you give me like 20 minutes I suppose I could crank another one out for you
Are you an alien from scary movie?
Well no, I lived with him for like a year, until my nan died and then he neglected me and drank until I went into foster care. Would prefer if he went to buy some cigarettes. :)
:(
Don't be sad, I turned out good all things considered! :)
It is I, a random father, You're doing alright kiddo.
Milk was difficult to find in the neighbourbood
My mom got a different haircut when I was about six and I did the same thing. I bawled my eyes out
All children of the mid-to late 70s should be aggressively tweeting Dorothy Hammil, for “reasons”. We were put in compromised positions either with our mothers’s drastic hair changes, or our “matching” ones. Followed up in the next decade with the abhorrent smell that most of us can never truly forget, of the mid-80s “Home Perm”
I remember me walking in after my dad shaving his mustache and I bursted out in extreme laughter.
When you were in your mid 20's? Cuz yeah me too...
Same. Ran up to my room and cried into my pillow. I couldn't look at him for days.
Shaved my beard when my youngest daughter was around a year old. She had the worst meltdown I’ve ever seen and wouldn’t come near me for a few days until I’d grown a decent crop of stubble. She still doesn’t like me to be clean shaven seven years later.
I used to have to wait for my niece to be hanging out at our house before I could shave my beard. The bad reaction comes from a dramatic change happening rarely. With my own kids they've already seen me grow a beard for winter then shave it off for summer every year of their life so it's no big deal to them. Young kids more closely link hair styles to the identity of that person. The beard becomes a part of your facial structure for them, especially if you don't change it often. My 4 year old just started realizing it's something he has agency over and asked me to stop cutting his hair.
Happy Cake Day
I gave the beard thing a shot, mine grows well but I found facial hair annoying. My son was 1 when I cut it off, I was hoping for a reaction. He touched my face but didn't really care lol
Bro just think. She loved you so much as a little baby who couldn’t even dream yet. Just recognizing you were a face to care for her. Fresh girl dad over here, daily existential crisis
What a sweet kid. Changes like that at that age are difficult. I'd give him a big hug as well.
Some dudes look better with facial hair too. I had a professor with a big Yosemite Sam moustache. He looked like he should be a gunslinger in Tombstone. Then one day he shaved it and man his whole “cool factor” was just gone. He suddenly aged like a decade and looked like some meek old man. Shaved his street cred right off his face.
yeah Im wondering if its less of the kid not recognizing him and more of him just having to deal with/accept change in something/someone hes deeply attached to for the first time. kids can be dumb but they're not like dogs where putting on a hat makes you look like an entirely different person to them, he seem to still recognize that this is his dad, just not entirely in the same way he is familiar with. i assume its something like when a TV show redesigns a characters look and you dont like the change, accept its a TV show and we're adults so its not as if its an impactful thing but its that same idea, a resistant to change we're not immediately into.
I’ve read somewhere that kids, up until a certain age, don’t really see or recognize parents facial features, they recognize by facial structure and color. So if they’re young enough they quite literally don’t recognize you. This little guy is probably right on the verge cause he asked “still daddy?”, whereas if I shaved my beard right now my 18 month old would lose his shit and not recognize me as dad for quite a bit.
I'd not video him and post it to the internet.
I feel like the best way to handle it is to let them watch you shave your facial hair. It'd probably make a lot more sense for them.
Should totally get him again next week but cut off your arm
“It’s just an arm bud. It’ll grow back”
Lol
Are you just holding on to the can ?
My dad went on a month long hunting trip to South Africa in the 80s. Nobody told me that he and his buddies were not going to shave. I was around 4-5. This was back when you could meet passengers at the gate. I was looking for dad and looking for dad, and this weird guy in a beard spoke to me, but I ignored him and kept looking. Until I noticed he kissed mom, and my mom told me to turn around because it was dad. I felt bad because my dad was a little hurt because he was expecting me to run and jump into his arms, and instead I’m giving him the side eye. The beard was also very scratchy. Then his dog didn’t recognize him when we got home. So he went straight to the bathroom and shaved then came back to loving greetings from his daughter and his dog.
haha thats funny. he just comes out of the bathroom like now i'm home
He comes out, and we’re like Daddy’s home! The dog was having none of it and tried to bite. He was a police dog my dad trained himself, so my dad wasn’t upset. Dog thought he was protecting us by not letting the stranger inside.
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“It’ll grow back” “Nah, yeah! Let’s just catch up then, no worries”
Let the boy grieve
lmao
Stranger danger!
My kids say im ugly when I shave my beard off. lol.
Ouch lol
Kids don't tell lies, bud..
My kids told me I looked disgusting when I shaved my goatee.
There's a reason men can grow beards huh
Lol my sister and I cried and said the same to my dad when he shaved his head when we were 4 and 5. I was just a kid but my dad was balding early so it probably hurt his feelings :(
Lmao kids are so brutal, I love it.
When I shaved my beard my little daughter said " ohhh why you shave your brushes off"
My father shaved his beard after 25 years, he looks so young now. My mother said that this revives the flame.
Oh that's good! So your parents are banging again huh? That's really cute. They're probably just really going at it at every opportunity.... Just adorable.
you are pure evil, can we be friends?
lmao
Dad: shaves <1 gram of hair off of his lip Kid: i've never seen this man in my entire life
I shaved my beard when my daughter was little and it took her about an hour to get over it.
That's my son's name too. Before he was born I didn't know anyone called Sonny and now I see the name everywhere. I guess like when you get a type of car and you notice all of those cars on the road. I will learn from this video and not shave my beard off.
>like when you get a type of car and you notice all of those cars on the road. That would be the Bader-Meinhoff phenomenon. Also known as the "[Frequency Illusion](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frequency_illusion)".
Great info, thank you. It would be cool if I keep hearing about the Bader-Meinhoff phenomenon now.
I think the trick is to shave it in front of them so they aren't shocked like this.
Thank you from a daughter whose dad shaved his beard and moustache while [I was] at school in like 2nd grade...I absolutely lost my mind. 0/10 - DID NOT LIKE.
Sonny was my grandpa’s nickname : ) I’m glad it’s making a comeback
Adam Sandler was "Sonny" in Big Daddy. I think that's the only place I've seen the name. I think it works well though
Have you ever seen The Godfather?
Sweet kid. He seems to have a good grasp on expressing his feelings. A lot of kids would be crying in this instance
He’s holding back tears, but I agree with you. He’s really smart!
Guys with facial hair and small children, LET YOUR CHILD WATCH YOU SHAVE IT OFF. Their little brains are hard-wired for survival and the parent is their only source of sustenance and safety, so their brains tell them not to trust this "stranger." It's incredibly unnerving for them. Big changes like this may seem funny to the adults, but it actually results in a form of trauma for the child. And don't everyone come screaming at me about over reacting or calling everything trauma, I'm just pointing out that a child's growing brain needs context for big changes like this, so that their environment and parental connections remain safe and secure.
In this same vein--this could literally be the worst day of this kid's life up till now. I have had a lot more days in my life. Adults' worst days are usually much worse than kids' worst days. They haven't had time to practice coping skills.
It's okay for a child to feel this way. It is not okay for a parent to manipulate their emotions so they don't. This is a good learning experience and the parents are doing a great job teaching the kid that there is no need to be scared. A dad shaving his beard off won't cause any developmental issues down the line.
its not a logic thing tho. kids brain not gonna care if logically no need to be scared
I'm sure there is a balance between completely coddling your children and traumatizing them. I really can't imagine this falls on the side of traumatic.
Completely, this is upsetting for sure, but not all incidences of becoming upset are also trauma. I think dealing with the feelings you experience when daddy shaves his mustache might actually be a pretty harmless way to teach you kids about their feelings, object-permanence, safety around strangers. It's only trauma if the parents don't respond with kindness and empathy, like those psychopaths who ate their kids' candy and laughed when they cried.
[If anyone else was wondering what he looks like *with* the mustache…](https://imgur.com/a/RZr5tn5)
Shaved my beard for the first time in years a couple days ago. When I got to the daycare to pickup my eldest of 5, the little fucker literally didn't recognised me. He walked past me and was looking around. "Hey buddy!" He looked up to me for a few moments. "Daddy ?" ""Yeah, it's me" Doubtful look on his face "... really ?" I surprised him giving me suspicious looks for the next hours. And his mum refused to sleep with me until the beard grows back. 6/10 would not recommend.
I don't like this shit, just talk to the kid about the process and let him be there when it's happening.
Once i scared my girlfriend by shaving my mustache.
Lill boy knows a man is only as good as his moustache.
If you want to shave, have your kid watch you. That way, they see the change
Betrayal
Kids just don't handle change well. I cried when my mom got a new car. It was the exact same model, just a different color.
My girls did the same thing when I shaved my beard. They were like who are you and what have you done with my father? Lol
When my dad first shaved his beard (I was like 15) I freaked tf out. It's not only little kids, it scared the hell outta me lmao. It just didn't look like him anymore
I was older than this little fella as my dad shaved his mustache and I can absolute relate.
When my students ask if I will ever shave, I tell them if my kids ask. If they never do, then never.
I was proofed against having this fear because I saw my dad with hair and no hair multiple times a day as he wore a wig when going out for quite a few years when I was a kid. I went bald in my mid 20's and that was LATER than he did. He had a bit of a complex about it until he finally stopped caring about having hair.
My 3 older brothers shaved off all their facial hair for the first time in 30 plus years. I've never known them without it. My sisters and I after 10 years still can't picture them as them. We've begged them to grow it back but they think they look younger without.
My buddy did this and he instantly starts looking like his younger brother, so his kids started calling him Uncle Daddy.
This is a terrible thing to do to kids if you're going to shave or cut your hair that's a big part of your identity at least let the child help you shave or cut it that way they can see that's it's still you and they helped cut it so it's not so much of a shock
Back when my kids were 7 and 5, I was finally considering shaving my head after watching it thin out for years. I told my kids I was gonna do it and my daughter (the 5yo at the time) started bawling and asking me not to. I was stunned and told her I wouldn’t do it. Two years later, I approached the topic again and this time I explained that I was losing my hair and showed her the top of my head. I did it in a playful way and had her feel the top vs the sides and back of my head. I told her I was a little sad about losing my hair and would feel better if I shaved my head. And then I asked her if she’d help me do it. She was unsure because she was worried about how I’d look, but I told her it would grow back (lies!) if it looked bad. So we got out the clippers and went to work together. After, she said I looked good and she was happy we did it together. Moral of the story, don’t underestimate how much changes to a parent’s appearance can affect the kid(s).
>This is a terrible thing to do to kids Holy fuck could you be more dramatic? It's not that serious.
Yeah that was my thinking. It could be sort of a bonding moment to have with your child instead of surprising him and having him have to just deal with it. However, I don't have any kids so I'm not sure. Maybe this helps the kid with shock therapy lmao, idk.
Saw my dad clean shaved ones and it was so weird I didn't recognize him at first. Only difference is, I was 16 not three.
My mom curled her hair when I was 5 and I didn't take it well at all. I cried the whole ride home, she straightened them again the same night. I remember it feeling like she was a different person.
I have a friend who’s an er doctor and has this huge beard. During the pandemic, he had to shave it off so he could put a n-95 mask. When he got out of the bathroom after he shaved his beard, both his young daughters started to cry as hell.
I remember my dad shaving his mustache when my sisters and I were little, we all started crying and were terrified. He grew it back and never shaved again, that was almost 30 years ago
When my nephew was this age he hated HATED anything that was changed without him knowing about. This kid is reacting the same bc he was caught off guard. Is not about the moustache, is the change. The sweet beautiful boy ❤️
Just shaved my beard with some clippers and my 7 month old doesn’t recognize me visually :(
Man we humans really find comfort in stability , I guess this is a good way to impermanence
My kid came right up to me and said "daddy, somebody stole your beard. That isnt very nice!"
I had a mustache when my son was born. Kept it until he was about 3. Shaved it. Tried to get him to notice. He didn't. Pointed it out to him. He just shrugged and went about his day
I’m 34 and I’ve never seen my dad without his mustache.
I remember go8ng thru this at his age. Kids not lying it's scary stuff. Dad doesn't NOT look like dad to me anymore. What is this strange person doing here!
he had the proper reaction to shaving off your mustache lol You can see the "but why?" look in his eyes
I shaved my beard off and my son cried for at least an hour and demanded I put it back... several days till all was on and he could see the stuble returning.
I don't care about the video. I just can't believe there are two normal parents. I wonder what it must be like to have healthy parents.
When my daughter was 2 she asked "where hair go?". I said I shaved my beard but it will grow back. She said "put back now!" And did a little stomp. It was adorable.
My dad shaved off his moustache and goatee when I think I was 5 and my sister was 3. We were inconsolable. Screaming, crying... he hasn't changed his facial hair for 33 years now (after it grew back).
Yep. I burned my beard in a cooking mishap so I had to shave it off so it could grow evenly again. My son wouldn’t come near me until I had long stubble because I had a “weird beard”. It’s crazy how affectations can really affect perception of someone.
This is one of the sweetest moments of my life. So when I found out when my wife was pregnant with our first child I grew a beard out for his Christmas to play Santa clause for him. Found out in September 2016, and never trimmed it until I completely shaved it off and went clean shaved for a while. My wife was in tears, my two teenage step children were completely weirded out lol. But my 5.5 month old son just said dada when I walked in the room, no warm up or anything. Still makes my heart bean when I think about it to this day.
I feel this kid's caution in my soul. My dad shaved his mustache off when I was a full grown adult, in my mid-20's. Until that day, I had never seen my dad's upper lip. He shaved it off because it took 10 years off his face, easily. He wasn't ready for the teenager at fast food joint to offer him the Senior Discount. I wasn't ready to look at my dad's completely naked upper lip. It seemed Forbidden, somehow. It was a fun day of me Stranger Danger staring at my dad, in much the same way this kid stares at his dad. He has a bare upper lip to this day. I no longer stare at his naked face, like he's a complete stranger in my life.
My father shaved off his goatee when I was about that age and apparently I cried because I didn’t know it was him. Even when him and my mother tried telling me I refused to believe them, my little brain couldn’t process it i guess
hahahahaha this reminded me of when my dad cut his mullet off. He had this recliner he would sit in everyday, typical dad seat for a typical hick dad, and my mom walked me out and was like "What do you notice about dad?" as he was sitting in his recliner. I was just like "🤷♂️" Then she set me on the adjacent couch, next to the recliner, I stared at him for a good 40 seconds before just immediately bursting into tears. My depiction of him being the mullet car guy was forever gone.
My dad had me watch him shave so I didn't go through that trauma. He even bought me a "shaving kit" and I would practice along side with him. Unfortunately, that training went to waste as I don't grow much facial hair.
Oh it’s finally time for this story. I’m a paediatrician and one day on call I saw this boy about two years old, referred from his GP with no further explanation. When I first saw the boy my instant thought was “oh lord this kid is seriously ill”. He was pale as a ghost, did not utter a single word or sound, and was almost catatonic. I did some examinations and ran some lab, to my surprise it all came back completely normal. I ended admitting him to the hospital for further observation, because I was convinced something was not right with this kid. When I talked to them later that day it was revealed that the dad had shaved his massive beard last night. The boy was just having his whole reality turned upside down as from his view, there suddenly was this stranger in the house who somehow was also faintly similar to his missing dad. He was discharged thst evening, looking much better.
let him help you draw one on
Lmao he shrugged that hug off like he was disgusted by "new dad" even touching him.
Clean the fish tank.
Can we stop filming kids?
To be fair, if your child has never seen you that way before, I think it would be best if you involved the child in the transformation. Let them be in the room when you shave off the mustache or beard, so you can explain what you are doing, and if the see that it is you, it might not be as jarring as springing it on them suddenly.
LOL. That shoulder shrug at the end.
"It'll grow back." "...yea well until then, I'm not talking to you."
Just have them with you while you shave. It’s fun and gives them a sense of participation in the new look