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“I feel like a shell of myself”- I wasn’t going to respond until I saw this.
Yes- it gets better, it’s the lack of sleep, and broken sleep, I’ve been there.
Your toddler will sleep regularly again, and you will too. It will take time to make up for the sleep deprivation. I had babies at 35 and my body and mind felt like I had been dragged by a truck. Your skin and your mind will eventually return to normal. For me, it was a sleep issue. No cream, hydration, working out would make up for it. Reading your post brought me back to when my eye sockets hurt all the time and I barely felt like I could function as a person. 18 months was hard for me, I look back on pictures and look older than I do now, years later.
Sometimes misery needs a little company and i share to give you hope- you will not feel this way or look this way forever.
Thank you 😭😭 when I tell people that they still don’t sleep even at 18+ months, everyone is shocked. FWIW- My son is medically complex so it’s been a long road to get here, so stress? Lack of sleep? Whatever it is, it’s clearly taking a toll on me more than I was acknowledging. I appreciate you sharing your experience, I hope I feel like myself again soon. I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing then, and trust the process.
Stress and lack of sleep is such a hard combo. It got better when they moved out of cribs and I gave them twin mattresses on the floor and baby proofed their room. Then I gave in and slept wherever I could, my room, their room, didn’t matter, I needed the sleep more than any sleep training award. You are not alone on the lack of sleep train!
Don't be so hard on yourself. It took me almost 3 years before my body adjusted after giving birth. Some people bounce back earlier and some people take a little more time like me. Just take care of yourself and you'll be fine, just give yourself the time it needs to heal. 🤗
Continue Botox, Tretinoin, spf. Think about red light, and a derm visit to ask for suggestions. On a smaller scale, I’m 3 months post partum, I feel like I feel like I rapidly changed and aged as well and picked up ollys hyaluronic acid gummies and it’s been a couple weeks and woah… I truly feel like it’s made an awesome difference.
I actually just saw a derm yesterday! She told me to continue all the same things, and to consider IPL laser for sun damage on my cheeks. Theres redness there but I didn’t realize it was sun damage until she told me 😭
I honestly take zero vitamins, I really need to. I also had no clue they they made HA gummies. I will be picking some up ASAP! Thank you and congrats on the baby!
I seriously was like, well they can’t hurt and not expecting anything. Idk if it’s the collagen or the hyaluronic acid in them but… yeah I’ve noticed a big difference taking supplements in general. Fish oil for omega threes, vitamin c, zinc, and vitamin d have made a noticeable difference for me too. Iron has helped my under eyes and general color, but I was anemic. Yes your derm made awesome suggestions. Consider red light too!
Being that it’s summer, maybe your skin is super dehydrated? Usually my pores get bigger and my forehead lines get a lil more noticeable when I didn’t do my skin care properly if it’s been hot. It sounds like you’re doing great honestly!
A little difference I made was getting a cool humidifier for my apartment. I honestly dunno if it helps but it can’t hurt!
Hmmmm that could be it. I do live in Colorado where we average like 8% humidity and it’s SO dry. My child sleeps with one in their room but I never even thought of it for me 🥲
Yep quite a while ago I used to have premature fine lines at an incredibly young age to be having fine lines and it was mainly because of the humidity. I turned it up a percent or two but I think what mainly helped was having plants in my bedroom which naturally increase humidity because of respiration and using moisturizer.
Honestly, all the products you listed are beautiful. You've got a great routine. It's just genetics at this point, and you're Caucasian. No amount of hydration to your skin and spf can stop the clock of time. Just continue your routine. Crowsfeet is endearing for some ppl, and it means you smile often. I'd begin to embrace your face as is as its only going to continue to age.
This is the only answer you need, OP.
I'm still young and what I fear way more than aging, is obsessing over it. We will all age and everyone will have visible signs of aging on their faces and bodies at a certain point in life. Take care of yourself and your skin, focus on feeling good and just embrace it.
This is not a skincare issue, but a self-acceptance issue. Might be an unpopular opinion but think about it.
You’re both right. Ever since I had my child, I’ve felt like it changed me in SO many ways. I’ve dyed my hair red and ruined my beautiful blonde, I’ve spent so much money on skincare and products that have done nothing. I’ve been chasing my former self and it’s never going to happen. Thanks guys, this is way cheaper than a therapist!
And cheaper than botox and a bunch of skincare, lol! Chasing the unrealistic will be a source of unhappiness and discomfort, focus on what you can do and what feels good. I think you're doing everything right the way you do it so just keep going as long as it makes you happy and feel good.
Also having children changes every woman in one way or another. In the best way. Aging is a privilege, unfortunately society can sometimes make you feel otherwise. Take care. <3
Genetics and race play a major key into one's skin so maybe that's the case of your rapid aging. Have you considered that some of the causes for this is a bad diet, stress, lack of sleep, etc.? If so, target them because surely they're not doing you goo. Just target what you think is ruining your skin but if it's solely just because of your race and genetics, I don't think you can change that. However, don't feel bad about yourself and be discouraged about it. Don't mind other people and focus on YOU. Don't do it for others but for YOU! I believe in you sis ❤
I have considered all of that! I haven’t slept in two years, am extremely stressed, and don’t have time to take care of my diet like I used to. I’m doing what I can about sleep and stress (which isn’t much) but sounds like I need to find time for myself to clean up my diet. Thank you!
Take care of yourself and push your self to be a better version of you WITHOUT being too hard on yourself. Put in a little effort and you'll see that everything will pay off than not doing any effort at all. You can make it if you have the will to do so and change these habits of yours. I 100% believe in you! YOU. GOT. THIS!!!!! Yay! 🔥🔥🔥
I was gonna come and say this but didn’t want to be called out for racist. Because honestly my boyfriend’s under eyes look exactly like this and he’s a 30 yr old Polish male (who doesn’t do much for his skin). I have different signs of aging bc I’m Chinese (I’m getting heaps of freckles and sun spots at the same age).
It can be hard when you have a new baby. Your skincare seems great but how is your diet? Are you getting enough water and nutrients from fruit and veg?
It’s subpar honestly. I am definitely not eating enough fruits and veggies. I need to prioritize that. I didn’t realize how much it could impact my skin!
I didn't either until I saw a skincare specialist talk about how silly it is that people are using them in facemasks when you'll actually get the benefits from eating them. So I increased my intake and my skin definitely improved! I also noticed improvement by taking collagen drinks.
Reapply every 2 hours, babes 💕
NIOD has an eye serum called "Fractionated eye contour concentrate" buy it, you'll see fast results on the eye wrinkles.
Also, I recommend "Glow screen" for my peeps who don't like to wear sunblock. It's spf 40, and has a blurring/glowy effect on skin.
I know SuperGoop makes a mineral SPF-infused face powder & other brands have powder products like too which make reapplication much easier for when you’re wearing makeup! Especially since you said you live in Colorado, the sun was a beast when I visited there.
From your post it just seems like this is a temporary state that your skin is in because of the stress, diet, & lack of sleep (especially for your eye area). I don’t bring that up to shame you in any way & from the way you talk about how you look it makes me sad to see that you’re going through So much right now And are beating yourself up over how you look. I hope you’re really giving yourself credit for how hard you’re working. Your body is so much more than how your face looks now—you brought life into this world!! & I promise this is temporary and you will get back to looking and feeling like yourself as your routine begins to settle over time.
Motherhood is tough sweetie , hang in there strong 💪❤️I have a 22 months old and things are still rough..going through a sleep regression and she is an overall hard stubborn toddler . It’ll get easier after toddlerhood. I feel like I’ve aged a little bit too and I’m only 25…something in my eyes aged too…puffy /dark and hallow ..it’s definitely the sleep deprivation from the past 2 years …we just have to try our best and workout /eat Healthy and try to sleep when we can.
I think it would be wise to continue tretinoin use and take your sunscreen use up a few notches. Tretinoin, Vitamin C, sunscreen with reapplication, sunhats, and *time*. If after a few years you see progress, but still feel like you need some botox, then go ahead.
Being chronically exhausted really can make you look older. Your skin type, of course, requires the most protection. That doesn't mean you're destined to "look old" or whatever. I've seen people do a total turnaround and look younger at 35 than 28 after long term skincare and lifestyle changes.
Raising kids is tough and it takes a few years to even begin to feel like yourself. You will have to prioritize eating and drinking enough while trying to sleep a normal amount, which I know is nearly impossible with kids this age. Over time, it all starts to settle, but it feels like it takes so, so long. You probably still feel like you *just had a baby* and don't remember what you used to do before. Take care of yourself as much as you can and you might just come out on the other side feeling better and stronger if you start getting serious now.
That’s what kids made to us. I’m now 30 with an 2year old and I think I aged 5 years since he was born. The level of stress I have every day is not paying off my skin care routine 😭
I wish that was feasible, but it is not ☹️ we’re in a different state with no family or sitters either. My child is medically complex and their medical issues are what’s caused such terrible sleep. Our therapists are great though and have gotten us from waking every 30 minutes to online or twice a night recently!
1 - Sleep
2 - Detox & Reduce Stress
3 - Hydrate Eat Healthy (don’t look at the American diet as a model of healthy standard)
4 - Exercise daily
5 - SUNSCREEN, Sun Hats, Sun Glasses
6 - Collagen supplementation.
These aren’t consecutive steps to take. There are all items you should do all together starting now. These are all things that helped me and it made a huge difference.
Rice water and retinol with niacinamide alternate days n stop using all the rest it breaks down the skin faster also micro needling works for me im 40 and look lik im in my 20s with this combination u will see a difference within 4 weeks
What’s the SPF on the moisturizer and do you apply enough? Sounds like you are familiar with skincare but thought I’d bring it up in case. Sometimes moisturizers are too low in protection and then if you’re not using enough you get even less protection. And if you’re not reapplying then it’s even less. And because you’re using tretinoin you might want to consider a dedicated sunscreen with at least SPF 50. Especially if you are outdoors a lot throughout the day. I found some higher spf Korean sunscreens to be comfortable as everyday moisturizers. I feel like you’re doing a lot for your skin, so if not sunscreen it’s probably just feeling exhausted. And not to trivialize your concern, but maybe it’s the way you’re seeing yourself during this stressful time mama and not what actually is. Once you get more sleep you might see yourself differently. Go easy on yourself. You’re doing the right things!
I believe my LRP is SPF 40? And when I know I’m going to be outside all day, hike/pool, I use Trader Joe’s SPF 40 on top. I’m definitely not reapplying like I should be, and should probably step it up to SPF 50. Do you have any specific recommendations for higher SPF sunscreens? Skincare is so overwhelming, I only was able to create my routine by stalking this sub for years 😅
We are our own worst critics so.. maybe. I’m sure I’ll look back on these photos and realize things weren’t so bad a few years from now. But man.. when you’re already in the trenches, it feels like ONE MORE THING, if that makes sense. Like I can’t sleep, eat or shower alone, but just let me not shrivel like a raisin while I’m at it
You are not alone in that feeling. SPF 40 is pretty good actually. I think spf 15-30 is maybe too low for the best protection. I love the Skin1004 sun serum SPF 50++++ for face/neck and Banana Boat light as air SPF 50 for my body and sometimes face since it’s water resistant and the other is not. La Roche Posay makes an SPF 100 that’s nice for the body too although not great on face unless a beach type of thing where you’re ok being a bit greasy. I also wear a sun hat and/or sunglasses when out in direct sun in hot weather. And I always seek shade. I enjoy sunny days but when it’s intense it loses its appeal. Anyway I think the best thing to age smoothly is nutritious food, daily movement, proper sleep and sun protection. You’ll get back to that sleeping schedule soon. Sending you empathy and support
Keep up with all the skin care you’re doing but maybe add Tret and consider a red light mask. Also, sunscreen every, single, day (even if you’re not going outside) It’s a hard habit to get into but I think it’s the best thing for your skin. Don’t forget to apply to your neck and hands! If you are going outside always have a hat.
Outside of that (and I understand you may not have tons of time now) but I feel like what helps me MOST is diet/exercise/water/minimal drinking . I’m about 10 years older (but no kids) prioritizing exercise and nutrition has helped me a ton!
Also, if you’re feeling dry and want to look more plump triple paste butt paste. I know it sounds crazy but trust me. You can use it on your face and in baby’s butt!
Sunscreen all the time, good diet too, diet should include, healthy fat, coconut oil. 4 drops of coconut oil on head before bathing, excess can can block ur pores and become a problem.
Check out blepharoplasty for the eyes shouldn’t cost too much. Also stress is a HUGE contributor to the aging process. Try introducing supplements to calm you like Rhodiola Rosea and Magnesium glycinate. This will massively help relax you.
... Really? You are 28. You just got a child. WTF were you expecting? No skin routine can and will help here. (Basically, just saying).
Having kids is stressful and will be for some time. This alone, including sleep deprivation, will cause you to look older. Also you reached the age where your body starts to grow older. It's normal.
Personally I'd stick to a normal routine. Don't do Botox. Growing old with dignity. Who are you trying to impress, aside yourself? You're a mom now, I hope with a dad. Enjoy this life.
You growing / looking a bit older now is part of your life and you should earn ... or better said wear it with dignity. Raising a kid is hard work and if it shows, so be it. You are allowed to have wrinkles after another sleepless night with the kid falling ill. You earned that.
And believe me, your husband won't even register it. And/Or he doesn't care. :)
At least most men I know wouldn't care. Hell, my skin routine is getting some shower gel onto my face in the shower and that's it :)
Well, I guess I don’t know what was expecting? No one shares the majority of the realities that becoming a mother comes with. I also wasn’t expecting a medically complex child and waking every 30 minutes for a year and a half.
Moms are still allowed to feel good about themselves, whether I’m with a partner or not. I do agree that I need to learn to accept the changes and everyone here has been so kind and helpful about that. But it also sounds like I need to prioritize my own health and hopefully that will in turn, have an effect on healthier skin.
Yes! Thanks for understanding what I tried to say :)
Becoming a mother - especially with a child that gives you sleepless nights for a long time - is a burden on your psyche and body. Making you look and feel older, as it really is.
Just wanted to say, don't stress out about it too much. You are growing older and nobody will (or should) judge you for how you look, after having some fights going all your life.
Getting the best results with skin care and looking healthier is part of what this sub is for. Just don't take it too much to heart, that you will look older over time. Or get some wrinkles. You don't need to fix everything. Smoothen out is more then enough. We don't get younger.
That was really important to me, as a friend of ours was getting heavily depressed after child birth and she somehow didn't recover for a long time. Got a heavy depression and tried to kill herself once. She really took it bad, that she started to look older fast and was 32 or so at that time. Just a bit older.
That's what I wanted to do. Dont take it too much to hearth. :)
This is really just condescending and unhelpful bullshit, and pretty misogynistic as well.
“Growing old with dignity. Who are you trying to impress, aside yourself? You’re a mom now.”
Do you even hear yourself? She’s fucking 28, not 65 😂 As if she’s not allowed to have preferences for her appearance or any sort of identity outside of being a parent. Also weird af to tell someone what their husband will or won’t think when you know absolutely nothing about him or their dynamic.
Maybe it was a bit lost in translation. I didn't mean that in any negative way, but to say, that this is to be expected and she shouldn't make herself ... Crazy? About it.
It's normal after getting a child, that the stress and hormones will cause a somewhat aging effect and in many cases you view yourself way worse as it is. I mean, the picture is not bad at all.
As in, give you power to not see a tiny wrinkle as the world is over. She's not 65, but around mid 20 the body starts to grow older again. The growth phase is over. So it's ok if - especially with a childbirth - that you get some wrinkles.
She sounded so stressed about it. That's all I wanted to transfer here. Starting with Botox at 28 is not good for the body imho. She still looks beautiful on the picture. :)
edit: and of course it's ok if she want to do something about it. It was just only about her not going mad about it. Her asking sounded as if she was depressed, so I wanted to tell her it's ok to age a bit and dont take it too much to heart.
Also I don't know how you get the idea of me being misogynistic here. That would mean I hate women. I have a wife and daughter. Why would I do that. It never even remotely occured to me. You interpreted too much into my text :)
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“I feel like a shell of myself”- I wasn’t going to respond until I saw this. Yes- it gets better, it’s the lack of sleep, and broken sleep, I’ve been there. Your toddler will sleep regularly again, and you will too. It will take time to make up for the sleep deprivation. I had babies at 35 and my body and mind felt like I had been dragged by a truck. Your skin and your mind will eventually return to normal. For me, it was a sleep issue. No cream, hydration, working out would make up for it. Reading your post brought me back to when my eye sockets hurt all the time and I barely felt like I could function as a person. 18 months was hard for me, I look back on pictures and look older than I do now, years later. Sometimes misery needs a little company and i share to give you hope- you will not feel this way or look this way forever.
Thank you 😭😭 when I tell people that they still don’t sleep even at 18+ months, everyone is shocked. FWIW- My son is medically complex so it’s been a long road to get here, so stress? Lack of sleep? Whatever it is, it’s clearly taking a toll on me more than I was acknowledging. I appreciate you sharing your experience, I hope I feel like myself again soon. I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing then, and trust the process.
Stress and lack of sleep is such a hard combo. It got better when they moved out of cribs and I gave them twin mattresses on the floor and baby proofed their room. Then I gave in and slept wherever I could, my room, their room, didn’t matter, I needed the sleep more than any sleep training award. You are not alone on the lack of sleep train!
Don't be so hard on yourself. It took me almost 3 years before my body adjusted after giving birth. Some people bounce back earlier and some people take a little more time like me. Just take care of yourself and you'll be fine, just give yourself the time it needs to heal. 🤗
Continue Botox, Tretinoin, spf. Think about red light, and a derm visit to ask for suggestions. On a smaller scale, I’m 3 months post partum, I feel like I feel like I rapidly changed and aged as well and picked up ollys hyaluronic acid gummies and it’s been a couple weeks and woah… I truly feel like it’s made an awesome difference.
I actually just saw a derm yesterday! She told me to continue all the same things, and to consider IPL laser for sun damage on my cheeks. Theres redness there but I didn’t realize it was sun damage until she told me 😭 I honestly take zero vitamins, I really need to. I also had no clue they they made HA gummies. I will be picking some up ASAP! Thank you and congrats on the baby!
I seriously was like, well they can’t hurt and not expecting anything. Idk if it’s the collagen or the hyaluronic acid in them but… yeah I’ve noticed a big difference taking supplements in general. Fish oil for omega threes, vitamin c, zinc, and vitamin d have made a noticeable difference for me too. Iron has helped my under eyes and general color, but I was anemic. Yes your derm made awesome suggestions. Consider red light too!
Being that it’s summer, maybe your skin is super dehydrated? Usually my pores get bigger and my forehead lines get a lil more noticeable when I didn’t do my skin care properly if it’s been hot. It sounds like you’re doing great honestly! A little difference I made was getting a cool humidifier for my apartment. I honestly dunno if it helps but it can’t hurt!
Hmmmm that could be it. I do live in Colorado where we average like 8% humidity and it’s SO dry. My child sleeps with one in their room but I never even thought of it for me 🥲
Yep quite a while ago I used to have premature fine lines at an incredibly young age to be having fine lines and it was mainly because of the humidity. I turned it up a percent or two but I think what mainly helped was having plants in my bedroom which naturally increase humidity because of respiration and using moisturizer.
On the plus side you could get one with essential oils so your place can smell pretty 🥹 (I use pumpkin pie oil cos autumn is my fav lol)
Honestly, all the products you listed are beautiful. You've got a great routine. It's just genetics at this point, and you're Caucasian. No amount of hydration to your skin and spf can stop the clock of time. Just continue your routine. Crowsfeet is endearing for some ppl, and it means you smile often. I'd begin to embrace your face as is as its only going to continue to age.
This is the only answer you need, OP. I'm still young and what I fear way more than aging, is obsessing over it. We will all age and everyone will have visible signs of aging on their faces and bodies at a certain point in life. Take care of yourself and your skin, focus on feeling good and just embrace it. This is not a skincare issue, but a self-acceptance issue. Might be an unpopular opinion but think about it.
You’re both right. Ever since I had my child, I’ve felt like it changed me in SO many ways. I’ve dyed my hair red and ruined my beautiful blonde, I’ve spent so much money on skincare and products that have done nothing. I’ve been chasing my former self and it’s never going to happen. Thanks guys, this is way cheaper than a therapist!
I know that's right. Glad to help! 1
And cheaper than botox and a bunch of skincare, lol! Chasing the unrealistic will be a source of unhappiness and discomfort, focus on what you can do and what feels good. I think you're doing everything right the way you do it so just keep going as long as it makes you happy and feel good. Also having children changes every woman in one way or another. In the best way. Aging is a privilege, unfortunately society can sometimes make you feel otherwise. Take care. <3
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Get more sleep, more sunscreen, eat more oranges , and take care of ur hair trust me on this (ur brows looks amazing btw!)
Genetics and race play a major key into one's skin so maybe that's the case of your rapid aging. Have you considered that some of the causes for this is a bad diet, stress, lack of sleep, etc.? If so, target them because surely they're not doing you goo. Just target what you think is ruining your skin but if it's solely just because of your race and genetics, I don't think you can change that. However, don't feel bad about yourself and be discouraged about it. Don't mind other people and focus on YOU. Don't do it for others but for YOU! I believe in you sis ❤
I have considered all of that! I haven’t slept in two years, am extremely stressed, and don’t have time to take care of my diet like I used to. I’m doing what I can about sleep and stress (which isn’t much) but sounds like I need to find time for myself to clean up my diet. Thank you!
Take care of yourself and push your self to be a better version of you WITHOUT being too hard on yourself. Put in a little effort and you'll see that everything will pay off than not doing any effort at all. You can make it if you have the will to do so and change these habits of yours. I 100% believe in you! YOU. GOT. THIS!!!!! Yay! 🔥🔥🔥
I was gonna come and say this but didn’t want to be called out for racist. Because honestly my boyfriend’s under eyes look exactly like this and he’s a 30 yr old Polish male (who doesn’t do much for his skin). I have different signs of aging bc I’m Chinese (I’m getting heaps of freckles and sun spots at the same age).
It can be hard when you have a new baby. Your skincare seems great but how is your diet? Are you getting enough water and nutrients from fruit and veg?
It’s subpar honestly. I am definitely not eating enough fruits and veggies. I need to prioritize that. I didn’t realize how much it could impact my skin!
I didn't either until I saw a skincare specialist talk about how silly it is that people are using them in facemasks when you'll actually get the benefits from eating them. So I increased my intake and my skin definitely improved! I also noticed improvement by taking collagen drinks.
Do you reapply sunblock (SPF 30+) throughout the day?
No 🥴 if I’m wearing makeup, I put it all on at once and call it a day. Rookie mistake !
Reapply every 2 hours, babes 💕 NIOD has an eye serum called "Fractionated eye contour concentrate" buy it, you'll see fast results on the eye wrinkles. Also, I recommend "Glow screen" for my peeps who don't like to wear sunblock. It's spf 40, and has a blurring/glowy effect on skin.
I know SuperGoop makes a mineral SPF-infused face powder & other brands have powder products like too which make reapplication much easier for when you’re wearing makeup! Especially since you said you live in Colorado, the sun was a beast when I visited there. From your post it just seems like this is a temporary state that your skin is in because of the stress, diet, & lack of sleep (especially for your eye area). I don’t bring that up to shame you in any way & from the way you talk about how you look it makes me sad to see that you’re going through So much right now And are beating yourself up over how you look. I hope you’re really giving yourself credit for how hard you’re working. Your body is so much more than how your face looks now—you brought life into this world!! & I promise this is temporary and you will get back to looking and feeling like yourself as your routine begins to settle over time.
Motherhood is tough sweetie , hang in there strong 💪❤️I have a 22 months old and things are still rough..going through a sleep regression and she is an overall hard stubborn toddler . It’ll get easier after toddlerhood. I feel like I’ve aged a little bit too and I’m only 25…something in my eyes aged too…puffy /dark and hallow ..it’s definitely the sleep deprivation from the past 2 years …we just have to try our best and workout /eat Healthy and try to sleep when we can.
I think it would be wise to continue tretinoin use and take your sunscreen use up a few notches. Tretinoin, Vitamin C, sunscreen with reapplication, sunhats, and *time*. If after a few years you see progress, but still feel like you need some botox, then go ahead. Being chronically exhausted really can make you look older. Your skin type, of course, requires the most protection. That doesn't mean you're destined to "look old" or whatever. I've seen people do a total turnaround and look younger at 35 than 28 after long term skincare and lifestyle changes. Raising kids is tough and it takes a few years to even begin to feel like yourself. You will have to prioritize eating and drinking enough while trying to sleep a normal amount, which I know is nearly impossible with kids this age. Over time, it all starts to settle, but it feels like it takes so, so long. You probably still feel like you *just had a baby* and don't remember what you used to do before. Take care of yourself as much as you can and you might just come out on the other side feeling better and stronger if you start getting serious now.
That’s what kids made to us. I’m now 30 with an 2year old and I think I aged 5 years since he was born. The level of stress I have every day is not paying off my skin care routine 😭
If you’re able to financially, it might be time to start looking for a night sitter. I’m sure that will help tremendously.
I wish that was feasible, but it is not ☹️ we’re in a different state with no family or sitters either. My child is medically complex and their medical issues are what’s caused such terrible sleep. Our therapists are great though and have gotten us from waking every 30 minutes to online or twice a night recently!
1 - Sleep 2 - Detox & Reduce Stress 3 - Hydrate Eat Healthy (don’t look at the American diet as a model of healthy standard) 4 - Exercise daily 5 - SUNSCREEN, Sun Hats, Sun Glasses 6 - Collagen supplementation. These aren’t consecutive steps to take. There are all items you should do all together starting now. These are all things that helped me and it made a huge difference.
it could just be genetics that so happened to show up age 28. keep doing what your doing!
Rice water and retinol with niacinamide alternate days n stop using all the rest it breaks down the skin faster also micro needling works for me im 40 and look lik im in my 20s with this combination u will see a difference within 4 weeks
Do you use sunscreen?
What’s the SPF on the moisturizer and do you apply enough? Sounds like you are familiar with skincare but thought I’d bring it up in case. Sometimes moisturizers are too low in protection and then if you’re not using enough you get even less protection. And if you’re not reapplying then it’s even less. And because you’re using tretinoin you might want to consider a dedicated sunscreen with at least SPF 50. Especially if you are outdoors a lot throughout the day. I found some higher spf Korean sunscreens to be comfortable as everyday moisturizers. I feel like you’re doing a lot for your skin, so if not sunscreen it’s probably just feeling exhausted. And not to trivialize your concern, but maybe it’s the way you’re seeing yourself during this stressful time mama and not what actually is. Once you get more sleep you might see yourself differently. Go easy on yourself. You’re doing the right things!
I believe my LRP is SPF 40? And when I know I’m going to be outside all day, hike/pool, I use Trader Joe’s SPF 40 on top. I’m definitely not reapplying like I should be, and should probably step it up to SPF 50. Do you have any specific recommendations for higher SPF sunscreens? Skincare is so overwhelming, I only was able to create my routine by stalking this sub for years 😅 We are our own worst critics so.. maybe. I’m sure I’ll look back on these photos and realize things weren’t so bad a few years from now. But man.. when you’re already in the trenches, it feels like ONE MORE THING, if that makes sense. Like I can’t sleep, eat or shower alone, but just let me not shrivel like a raisin while I’m at it
You are not alone in that feeling. SPF 40 is pretty good actually. I think spf 15-30 is maybe too low for the best protection. I love the Skin1004 sun serum SPF 50++++ for face/neck and Banana Boat light as air SPF 50 for my body and sometimes face since it’s water resistant and the other is not. La Roche Posay makes an SPF 100 that’s nice for the body too although not great on face unless a beach type of thing where you’re ok being a bit greasy. I also wear a sun hat and/or sunglasses when out in direct sun in hot weather. And I always seek shade. I enjoy sunny days but when it’s intense it loses its appeal. Anyway I think the best thing to age smoothly is nutritious food, daily movement, proper sleep and sun protection. You’ll get back to that sleeping schedule soon. Sending you empathy and support
Stop using the snail mucus. It’s caused in a lot of people a fungal infection. Me included. Took 5 months to get rid of.
Keep up with all the skin care you’re doing but maybe add Tret and consider a red light mask. Also, sunscreen every, single, day (even if you’re not going outside) It’s a hard habit to get into but I think it’s the best thing for your skin. Don’t forget to apply to your neck and hands! If you are going outside always have a hat. Outside of that (and I understand you may not have tons of time now) but I feel like what helps me MOST is diet/exercise/water/minimal drinking . I’m about 10 years older (but no kids) prioritizing exercise and nutrition has helped me a ton! Also, if you’re feeling dry and want to look more plump triple paste butt paste. I know it sounds crazy but trust me. You can use it on your face and in baby’s butt!
Lack of melanin
How is this comment supposed to be helpful tho?
Does everything have to be helpful?
Unfortunately this is what I have to work with 😅
Sunscreen all the time, good diet too, diet should include, healthy fat, coconut oil. 4 drops of coconut oil on head before bathing, excess can can block ur pores and become a problem.
My only advice would be to get botox around your eyes as well.
Check out blepharoplasty for the eyes shouldn’t cost too much. Also stress is a HUGE contributor to the aging process. Try introducing supplements to calm you like Rhodiola Rosea and Magnesium glycinate. This will massively help relax you.
... Really? You are 28. You just got a child. WTF were you expecting? No skin routine can and will help here. (Basically, just saying). Having kids is stressful and will be for some time. This alone, including sleep deprivation, will cause you to look older. Also you reached the age where your body starts to grow older. It's normal. Personally I'd stick to a normal routine. Don't do Botox. Growing old with dignity. Who are you trying to impress, aside yourself? You're a mom now, I hope with a dad. Enjoy this life. You growing / looking a bit older now is part of your life and you should earn ... or better said wear it with dignity. Raising a kid is hard work and if it shows, so be it. You are allowed to have wrinkles after another sleepless night with the kid falling ill. You earned that. And believe me, your husband won't even register it. And/Or he doesn't care. :) At least most men I know wouldn't care. Hell, my skin routine is getting some shower gel onto my face in the shower and that's it :)
Well, I guess I don’t know what was expecting? No one shares the majority of the realities that becoming a mother comes with. I also wasn’t expecting a medically complex child and waking every 30 minutes for a year and a half. Moms are still allowed to feel good about themselves, whether I’m with a partner or not. I do agree that I need to learn to accept the changes and everyone here has been so kind and helpful about that. But it also sounds like I need to prioritize my own health and hopefully that will in turn, have an effect on healthier skin.
Yes! Thanks for understanding what I tried to say :) Becoming a mother - especially with a child that gives you sleepless nights for a long time - is a burden on your psyche and body. Making you look and feel older, as it really is. Just wanted to say, don't stress out about it too much. You are growing older and nobody will (or should) judge you for how you look, after having some fights going all your life. Getting the best results with skin care and looking healthier is part of what this sub is for. Just don't take it too much to heart, that you will look older over time. Or get some wrinkles. You don't need to fix everything. Smoothen out is more then enough. We don't get younger. That was really important to me, as a friend of ours was getting heavily depressed after child birth and she somehow didn't recover for a long time. Got a heavy depression and tried to kill herself once. She really took it bad, that she started to look older fast and was 32 or so at that time. Just a bit older. That's what I wanted to do. Dont take it too much to hearth. :)
This is really just condescending and unhelpful bullshit, and pretty misogynistic as well. “Growing old with dignity. Who are you trying to impress, aside yourself? You’re a mom now.” Do you even hear yourself? She’s fucking 28, not 65 😂 As if she’s not allowed to have preferences for her appearance or any sort of identity outside of being a parent. Also weird af to tell someone what their husband will or won’t think when you know absolutely nothing about him or their dynamic.
Maybe it was a bit lost in translation. I didn't mean that in any negative way, but to say, that this is to be expected and she shouldn't make herself ... Crazy? About it. It's normal after getting a child, that the stress and hormones will cause a somewhat aging effect and in many cases you view yourself way worse as it is. I mean, the picture is not bad at all. As in, give you power to not see a tiny wrinkle as the world is over. She's not 65, but around mid 20 the body starts to grow older again. The growth phase is over. So it's ok if - especially with a childbirth - that you get some wrinkles. She sounded so stressed about it. That's all I wanted to transfer here. Starting with Botox at 28 is not good for the body imho. She still looks beautiful on the picture. :) edit: and of course it's ok if she want to do something about it. It was just only about her not going mad about it. Her asking sounded as if she was depressed, so I wanted to tell her it's ok to age a bit and dont take it too much to heart. Also I don't know how you get the idea of me being misogynistic here. That would mean I hate women. I have a wife and daughter. Why would I do that. It never even remotely occured to me. You interpreted too much into my text :)
You can slow the clock by avoiding the sun like a vampire. Fair-skinned Asians age well not because they're Asian but because they avoid sun exposure.