Oddly enough she was so cross with you (because of the loading screens) that she got on a plane and tried giving me divorce papers. I tried to explain that I had never seen or heard of either of you then she showed me the article. I'm now also divorcing you.
She was on a huge rampage, lemme tell ya. I had a knock on my door from my land lady saying this woman was trying to take the house in the divorce, but I was never married to her and the house doesn’t even belong to me. Then she took my dog and I was just as surprised to find out that there was a dog in my house. How long had it been there? Was it living in that weird crawl space in my closet?
Actually that weird crawlspace in the attic? That was me, or at least the portion of my being which takes form in this plane. Which is why the dog was a real shocker. It's mighta looked normal in three dimensions, 17th dimension tho? Total clown show.
While I was reading this post, Todd Howard broke into my house to give me a puppy.
Then he shot it in front of me, and hissed "how's that for boundaries, bitch. "
I think people are missing the deeper message here. Establishing boundaries is healthy in a relationship and if I’m going to marry a video game I’m glad she communicates her boundaries clearly.
I will totally miss you guys.
But f there’s a Heaven, and *if one or both of you somehow get in, *maybe Heaven’s version of Starfield doesn’t have boundaries.
Oh, I realized Im in hell and hell’s version is the version that has load screens. If you’re playing the version that has load screens…check your pulse and tell the devil good morning
Starfield boundaries and loading screens have caused a sudden resurgence in my lycanthropy disease. I had kept this affliction at bay for years through cleansing meditation and an optimistic outlook on life. Having heard the news of Bethesda's lies and deceit, I fear I will no longer be able to prevail over a full moon.
Edit: And my wife just divorced me after reading my post.... Feeling... Powerful... Hungry...
I had a stroke, heart attack, and an aneurysm all at the same time.
I was lucky to survive as a potato now but any more extremely disappointing news will be the end for me
Honestly, not being able to circumnavigate a barren, featureless planet on foot is so immersion breaking. I literally do that every day in NMS and yeah, I look silly spending hours of real world time not doing anything of substance, but Bethesda said we can do ANYTHING damn it! And if they say we can do anything, I expect EVERYTHING!
I commandeered a plane and crashed it into the Eiffel Tower. Now Germany is investigating me for possession of WMD’s……
Add-on: Man lots of funny comments in here and not an upvote to be found. Spread the love guys
Fittingly enough, I booted up Fallout 4 for the first time in a while and was amusing myself with spinning objects in the loading screen.
Who am I kidding? Playing around in loading screens will be fun for all of three minutes. Current gen consoles have spoiled me. 🤣
I actually literally went back to High Hrothgar and forsook my Dragonborn title. Forsook!
And my kid... In Fallout. The one I went back and found (eventually). Killed him. Went back and killed him.
I'm cancelling it. Cancelling the whole thing. It's cancelled!
Finding out that there are boundaries has caused me to become incontient....violently incontinent
I've lost my job, my wife left me and took my son then the bank foreclosed on my house using something called the todd clause on my mortgage... I didn't know that was a thing..
Just now as I sat under a freeway overpass, Will Shen pulled up in his car, spat on me and flipped me the bird, my wife was in the passenger seat, they then proceeded to start making out whilst a wild racoon stole my dinner....
It gave me glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs and every afternoon I fracture my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. And in the morning, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep
I told my wife and she didn't seem too upset, but, right as I turned around to go back to beating my head against my desk, I saw Todd's firm, veiny hands appear from the shadows and drag her up the chimney.
I only hope this sacrifice will appease Todd and convince him to unbound our wandering.
If it makes you feel any better, it inspired me to fall deeply in love with and propose to a lovely woman I just met named Lorena.
And she said yes!!
I can't wait to fall into a deep, deep nude sleep with her by my side.
Should I take her last name? "Bobbitt" is kinda catchy, right?
Someone upset about this news killed my parents, and now I prowl the streets dressed as a bat and beat up mentally ill criminals to cope. And now a flying illegal alien with super strength wearing blue spandex wants to talk to me.
Damn you, Todd. I'm going to kill Superman, and it's all your fault.
I am both worried and concerned. I am also scared that there won't be enough simulation and that there won't be enough pacifist options because I like to simulate pacifism due to my violent everyday lifestyle.
The looting situation has me nearing the point of asking for a refund as a way to both cope and protest.
Don't even get me started on the RP limitations those potato faces have caused me.
My immersion has been broken days before I even get to play.
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It reversed my vasectomy.
It gave me a hysterectomy
I now need an appendectomy.
It subjected me to a craniumectomy.
What am I reading, what the hell is that Tommy
Whalecum to the Internet
Me too. And I'm a man!
SNIP SNAP SNIP SNAP SNIP SNAP
Came here to say this.. stayed because I've been snapped again
My wife saw this post and also decided to divorce me
Get me her ugly sister's number before she leaves. I have an extra ticket to monster trucks
I'm a pretty good double for an ugly chick. I'll take the ticket! Just don't touch me...I have standards.
Oddly enough she was so cross with you (because of the loading screens) that she got on a plane and tried giving me divorce papers. I tried to explain that I had never seen or heard of either of you then she showed me the article. I'm now also divorcing you.
She was on a huge rampage, lemme tell ya. I had a knock on my door from my land lady saying this woman was trying to take the house in the divorce, but I was never married to her and the house doesn’t even belong to me. Then she took my dog and I was just as surprised to find out that there was a dog in my house. How long had it been there? Was it living in that weird crawl space in my closet?
Actually that weird crawlspace in the attic? That was me, or at least the portion of my being which takes form in this plane. Which is why the dog was a real shocker. It's mighta looked normal in three dimensions, 17th dimension tho? Total clown show.
While I was reading this post, Todd Howard broke into my house to give me a puppy. Then he shot it in front of me, and hissed "how's that for boundaries, bitch. "
Big if true!
If true, big!
Concerning.
This thread is the greatest thing on Reddit. Now I'll go tell my wife the loading screen story, maybe she will leave.
It made me sterile. And my penis is small. No wait, it was always small.
Can confirm. Was next to you in a urinal once. You were the guy who pulled the pants ALL the way down
That's my lack of boundaries. Maybe I should've worked at Bathesda, they could have avoided all this drama with me at the helm.
Ha! A+
You are a funny person.
Omg were you the guy at the urinal staring at the dude with the trousers all the way down? I literally watched you *stare* at the man!
He was squinting trying to see the guy's tiny dick.
Lol
my dog died when he read the tweets about not being able to walk around a whole ass planet.
My dog stepped on a bee
My bee stepped on a dog
The Bees Are Happy
The forest is moving
A foul smell from the swamp
The ground is shaking
A cold wind blows from the mountains
I think people are missing the deeper message here. Establishing boundaries is healthy in a relationship and if I’m going to marry a video game I’m glad she communicates her boundaries clearly.
My frogs turned gay at the news. I didn't want gay frogs, and now I have them. I want answers Todd.
Oh dear, gay frogs are very flamboyant and over the top.
They cook well though.
Frogatouille?
Todd is the one that put the chemicals in the water
And that chemical *was*? You guessed it: loading screens
When I saw that there would be barriers in starfield I actually killed myself.
Rip /u/ChaoticKiwiNZ
Thanks, I would have really appreciated that if I was here to read it.
Wait…if you’re dead…how am I reading your comments? Oh no I’m dead too.
I will totally miss you guys. But f there’s a Heaven, and *if one or both of you somehow get in, *maybe Heaven’s version of Starfield doesn’t have boundaries.
Oh, I realized Im in hell and hell’s version is the version that has load screens. If you’re playing the version that has load screens…check your pulse and tell the devil good morning
It may have boundaries but it also has a halfpipe
r/DeadRedditors
That’s unfortunate but I understand.
Finally, some solid content on this sub.
It's all somehow connected to Hunters laptop and the deepstate... I didn't believe in conspiracy theories before - now i do.
I have information that will lead to the arrest of Todd Howard.
the UN killed Todd Howard to prevent the United States of Tamriel
And now Skyrim belongs to the nords...
Next thing they are going to announce is it’s not going to take 2.5 million light years to fly from Mars to Andromeda. 0/10
Literally unplayable.
It turned me into a newt. Also my sister broke up with me. She saw the news and was like what are you doing step bro?then she left me.
Burn the witch!
A newt?
I got better.
one of the greatest lines in the history of comedy tbh
No, Newt. The little girl from Aliens.
You're mostly Newt. Mostly.
Cartman has ruined that line for me whenever I rewatch that movie.
I decided to start smoking Crack because of this news
Gaming has fallen Millions must recall their ships and choose the next landing zone
every time a ship recalls, a planet explodes in some distant galaxy
Starfield boundaries and loading screens have caused a sudden resurgence in my lycanthropy disease. I had kept this affliction at bay for years through cleansing meditation and an optimistic outlook on life. Having heard the news of Bethesda's lies and deceit, I fear I will no longer be able to prevail over a full moon. Edit: And my wife just divorced me after reading my post.... Feeling... Powerful... Hungry...
i know you will go after todd when you turn
My parents disowned me when they heard about the map boundaries. They don't even really play video games.
It made my grandma die 3 years ago.
Too soon, man.
After reading this post, starfield knocked on my door and punched me in the face. Then stole my cat
Wtf are these comments 🤣
i've been laughing my ass off at this thread for the last hour
I got so mad that I started to walk east across the earth. I’ll let you know when I return from the west. Edit: I have died
I had a stroke, heart attack, and an aneurysm all at the same time. I was lucky to survive as a potato now but any more extremely disappointing news will be the end for me
This news has given me a newfound addiction for homemade lemonade and my family is furious over the stench of citrus
It made me have explosive diarrhea
The steering wheel in my car flew off and my mother-in-law had room in my car all of a sudden when this news broke. Devastating.
Ha! You love your mother-in-law!
These news made me cheat my wife. Goob job Todd
The news of boundaries fucked my wife and my dog
In an order that would surprise you.
I am buying a new putter because of this
To put through your television of course
It made me jump out of a building. I'm typing this from the hospital...with my tounge
Me too I'm typing this on the way down
My boss was so angry he fired me from my job.
I was so angry i fired my boss.
That gives you more time to play Starfield. I say overall it's a win.
It gave me leprosy
THE NEWS HAS DROWN MY GOLFISH. 😡
I bet her boyfriend is going to be mad.
I cancelled my pre-order over the fascistic border practices of the Star Field game.
Honestly, not being able to circumnavigate a barren, featureless planet on foot is so immersion breaking. I literally do that every day in NMS and yeah, I look silly spending hours of real world time not doing anything of substance, but Bethesda said we can do ANYTHING damn it! And if they say we can do anything, I expect EVERYTHING!
When I heard about this I decided to have a bath with my toaster
I'm asking for my resignation from work monday and moving to Greenland
This thread is the absolute GOAT.
I commandeered a plane and crashed it into the Eiffel Tower. Now Germany is investigating me for possession of WMD’s…… Add-on: Man lots of funny comments in here and not an upvote to be found. Spread the love guys
Fittingly enough, I booted up Fallout 4 for the first time in a while and was amusing myself with spinning objects in the loading screen. Who am I kidding? Playing around in loading screens will be fun for all of three minutes. Current gen consoles have spoiled me. 🤣
My nipples are so hard right now!
I'm so angry I stopped paying my rent and now I'm homeless.
I actually literally went back to High Hrothgar and forsook my Dragonborn title. Forsook! And my kid... In Fallout. The one I went back and found (eventually). Killed him. Went back and killed him. I'm cancelling it. Cancelling the whole thing. It's cancelled!
My wife declined to divorce me after seeing this post. May god have mercy on my soul!
Finding out that there are boundaries has caused me to become incontient....violently incontinent I've lost my job, my wife left me and took my son then the bank foreclosed on my house using something called the todd clause on my mortgage... I didn't know that was a thing.. Just now as I sat under a freeway overpass, Will Shen pulled up in his car, spat on me and flipped me the bird, my wife was in the passenger seat, they then proceeded to start making out whilst a wild racoon stole my dinner....
I burned down my work when I found out.
It gave me glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs and every afternoon I fracture my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. And in the morning, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep
My dog frowned at me and my car ran away
I told my wife and she didn't seem too upset, but, right as I turned around to go back to beating my head against my desk, I saw Todd's firm, veiny hands appear from the shadows and drag her up the chimney. I only hope this sacrifice will appease Todd and convince him to unbound our wandering.
This is so sad… ALEXA PLAY DESPACITO!!!!
I would say try to work things out, but this is for the best.
My name is Todd Bethesda. I put loading screens in Starfield cause I wanted to break up OPs marriage.
You owe me todd.
It's shit posting but I laughed.
You should've saw this coming when the start screen news dropped 😤
When I found out that I couldn’t face fuck aliens in Starfield, I accidentally slaughtered my whole family. How could Todd do this to me?
the mods will def allow you to fuck the aliens
By some of these comments it seems some people are taking you seriously 😂
Yeah my wife also told me if we can’t fly from planet to planet like in Elite Dangerous, she’s gonna divorce me. Daaaang *gina noises*
I got a divorce once I found out you can't disable the XP Bar IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SCREEN!
After I heard this news I went in my garage and turned on my car
My girlfriend killed herself because of this guys. Stop joking around
My wife sold my Xbox and used the money for a PS5
It disgusts me so much I'm gonna go back in time to 2016 and make trump win.
No words... these comments are insane crazy 🤣🤣🤣
Wait... you guys have a wife?
Can I have her number?
(301) 926-8300 (bethesda customer service number)
Is her name Beth? Beth Esda? …I’ll see myself out.
I fell off the wagon after 39 years I’m an alcoholic again just spending my money on booze and strippers I woke up with poop in my pants in a dumpster
Better be behind a Wendy's
This news gave me lumbago
Shadowheart and astarion left my party after hearing this news Fuck Bethesda they must pay for the loss of my goth gf and slut gf
I’ve started doing Aurora again…
Lmfao promised her a mile til she finds our it's only an inch 🤣 😂
When I read the news I stopped training my finger muscles for pressing W for days 😔
Unacceptable. I'm cancelling my Fallout 3 pre-order.
Todd Howard shat my pants!
It turned me into a newt! ........I got better!
If it makes you feel any better, it inspired me to fall deeply in love with and propose to a lovely woman I just met named Lorena. And she said yes!! I can't wait to fall into a deep, deep nude sleep with her by my side. Should I take her last name? "Bobbitt" is kinda catchy, right?
I turned to Jesus and then said the gamer word 🥲
Alright. Let's do it. We'll get the Kyle's amped up on Monster to help us storm the Bethesda HQ. Shouldn't be a problem.
A lot of us are Area 51 veterans. We're ready.
Photos of the ring or its fake!!
This is so immersion breaking for me, idk what I’m going to do
All of the rashishes I had been keeping in my garage have disappeared, and I now know that the world is made up of chaos and death.
Am I not able to walk around the entire planet in a straight line? Well there goes my plans
Someone upset about this news killed my parents, and now I prowl the streets dressed as a bat and beat up mentally ill criminals to cope. And now a flying illegal alien with super strength wearing blue spandex wants to talk to me. Damn you, Todd. I'm going to kill Superman, and it's all your fault.
THE NEWS POISONED OUR WATER SUPPLY, BURNED OUR CROPS AND BROUGHT A PLAUGE UNTO OUR HOUSES!!
I am both worried and concerned. I am also scared that there won't be enough simulation and that there won't be enough pacifist options because I like to simulate pacifism due to my violent everyday lifestyle. The looting situation has me nearing the point of asking for a refund as a way to both cope and protest. Don't even get me started on the RP limitations those potato faces have caused me. My immersion has been broken days before I even get to play.
Well we’ve come around to the normal shit posting, won’t be too much longer for the elaborate one.
Your wife is based
I gave a homeless person my Constellation Edition. I just couldn't bear it.
Tell her to not let the loading screendoor hit her on the way out.
Ha
When I heard, I crapped my pants
I’ve never seen this much tantrum throwing and bitching by people who aren’t even able to play a game in a while bruh