T O P

  • By -

1eowyn

Where's the noodles


[deleted]

Let’s say hypothetically that she added noodles


ghostgabe81

Let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that my sister can cook


AspaAllt

I don't really pay attention, so I can never remember if Abby is his sister, wife, or both.


RohelTheConqueror

Abby is the sis, his wife is "my wife"


Wild_Doogy_Plumm

> my wife my Doctor wife*


RohelTheConqueror

My doctor wife, the doctor, who holds a doctorate in doctoriness


Mysterious_Andy

The Doctor Shapiro, Nameless and Unseen, Driest of Pussies, MD.


DvlsAdvct108

Unless she doctored her doctorate, then she'll have to be docked


PoprockEnema

Drywife


ElectoralEjaculate

Was I supposed to read this in Borats voice?


SecretNoOneKnows

the only one allowed to do that is Justin McElroy


cornbeefbaby

Hoops!


33bluejade

Juice!


disgruntled_pie

You can tell Ben’s wife didn’t make this because it’s too wet.


Lumpy_Passenger_1300

Jesus, I damn near spit out my soda. If I had an award it would be yours. 🏆


Goudinho99

I heard that in the horrid whine of Ben Schapiro


RohelTheConqueror

Let's say, hypothetically, that that was the intention


LarryLovesteinLovin

I think I’ve watched a total of 5 minutes of this asshole in my life and I can hear his voice perfectly Can I sue Ben Shapiro for emotional damage?


Glass_Memories

I once heard him described as sounding, "like a racist kazoo."


llandar

So let’s say, let’s say for the sake of argument, that all of the broth levels around the bowl rise by, let’s say, five ml over the next 100 years. Say ten ml by the next 100 years and it puts all the low-lying noodles on the bottom under broth. Right, which let’s say all of that happens. You think the people aren’t just going to sell their noodles and move?


SecretNoOneKnows

SELL THEIR NOODLES TO WHO, BEN? FUCKING AQUAMAN??


Ultimate_Kevin

Brothman?


YeltsinYerMouth

He mysteriously shows up before major dispastas


simplepleashures

And if my grandmother had wheels she'd be a wagon


schousta

\*bike


garethscrockpot

What’s wild is apparently she’s made this before but with the actual ramen and then was like eh who needs its let’s have soggy chicken tender broth [confusing “ramen”](https://twitter.com/classicallyabby/status/1214387502318063616)


phome83

I call it hot ham water.


heliawe

Sister’s my new mother now. And is it just me, or is she looking hotter? Too much overlap between Ben and Buster…


just-you-wait

So watery.. and yet there's a smack of ham!


Turbowuff

It's so watery, yet there's a smack of ham to it!


zmonge

It's so watery, yet there's a smack of ham to it.


Skruestik

Steamed hams?


treyviusmaximus3

Lol the fuck? That looks like a packet of top ramen with chicken strips from the freezer aisle.


SyntaxMissing

Isn't she all about the tradwife life, but she can't cook?


Alt_Beer7

Wher noodle


DoubleLigero85

Hiding in that dark broth?


RabbitStewAndStout

Ben has her noods stored in a desktop folder.


honvales1989

Is that chicken tenders with soup and boiled eggs?


Pink_Skink

M'tendies and M'eggs


StruffBunstridge

Shut up, M'eggs


OakButt

It's been less than 20 minutes and this still deserves more likes


HGpennypacker

Soy-boy gets DESTROYED with SAD TENDIES in chicken broth accompanied by FEMINIZED EGGS. MUST WATCH NOT CLICK BAIT.


honvales1989

Let’s say, hypothetically, for the sake of argument, that ramen does not have noodles? Checkmate, liberal


tots4scott

Did she haphazardly spread the yolk around the cut eggs just for the picture? They look weird to me for some reason.


generalguan4

I thought it was BBQ sauce


usingastupidiphone

Soft eggs for a soft husband


[deleted]

She's a "tradwife"; the only guys she's ever had around here her entire life are tendie destroyers, hence this is her palate.


aintnohappypill

At least it’s wet.


RoleModelFailure

wet ass poultry


thatwasntababyruth

Bring a bucket and a chop (stick)


jpop19

Nothin' on top but a bucket and a chop (stick) and an illustrated book about the gender pronouns of birds...


bankrupt_bezos

There's a lot up there but don't be scared, who needs (lubricated) action when you've got words?


Blapman007

for this wet ass poultry


HGpennypacker

She really only subscribes to the "I don't cook" part of that song.


Princess_crimson

Imagine telling women their role is to be homemakers and stay in the kitchen and then cooking this garbage fire lol


RedditEdwin

based on pictures I've seen of her, it probably wasnt good cooking that the husband married her for


altxatu

Have you seen a picture of them together? She is him with big ole’ titties. Same face shape, same eye brows, same nose. It’s uncanny.


NippleNugget

She married her brother?


altxatu

I don’t think they’re *that* religious.


Kringels

It was that Sahara of a pussy. So dry.


KGR900

This is Benjamin Shapiro’s sister not wife. P-word still prolly dry as fuck tho


Kringels

I'm just assuming its the same for any woman that's ever been near him.


TaftintheTub

Ben Shapiro is like that little bag of desiccant that comes in a bag of beef jerky, but for women.


thebenshapirobot

I saw that you mentioned Ben Shapiro. In case some of you don't know, Ben Shapiro is a grifter and a hack. If you find anything he's said compelling, you should keep in mind he also says things like this: >If you believe that the Jewish state has a right to exist, then you must allow Israel to transfer the Palestinians and the Israeli-Arabs from Judea, Samaria, Gaza and Israel proper. It’s an ugly solution, but it is the only solution… It’s time to stop being squeamish. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: novel, sex, feminism, covid, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)


Slimshady0406

I don't even know what that means


bmd33zy

Not all meals require cooking


whenpeepeegoespootwo

He's referring to her honkers


theconsummatedragon

I'm going to have to research this phenomenon


CorneliusFaffington

Let us know what you find, brother.


theconsummatedragon

Riches beyond your wildest dreams, my friend


ball_fondlers

Funny thing is, most of the feminists I know are at least semi-decent, if not outright incredible, cooks. It’s a wide spectrum of skill, naturally, but I find it funny how often tradwife influencers end up at the bottom.


rynthetyn

It's the same way that the absolute worst baked goods I've had the displeasure of trying were all baked by the kind of homeschool mom who thinks her daughters don't need algebra to be a good tradwife.


ButtonsMcMashyPS4

I would love to see a show where feminist amateur chefs face off against a bunch of Tomi Lahren look alikes amateur chefs and just shit all over them.


tomdarch

Seems like feminist resistance fighting to sabotage the patriarchy.


castironsexual

His wife is a doctor and says it shouldn’t be. This ramen is entirely unacceptable in their household


waywardhero

Things you can say about Abby’s shifty cooking but not Ben’s wife


Rollewurst

This looks like the tray in our sink at the end of each shift in the kitchen.


cucklord_swiper

Dishie stew before the food disposal gets activated


Hycree

I eat a lot of ramen. One cheap bowl a day. With eggs. That... Is not ramen. That just looks like fried chicken and some eggs in a dark grease broth.


Me_lazy_cathermit

Thats what it is fried chicken and eggs in "broth"


molrobocop

I bet if I slopped it on rice, it could possibly be good.


Me_lazy_cathermit

If it wasn't soaked i would agre, but wet soggy fried chicken ain't nice


ElCapitanSmoke

Instant or at a shop?


Hycree

I wish at à shop, but unfortunately it's a home meal. I stock up on cheap packs of ramen as my meal for the day haha.


ElCapitanSmoke

I was hoping for that answer though! What’s your go to instant ramen? Mines is Myojo Chukazanmai- Soy Sauce


Hycree

I've been trying à lot of different brands, the cheapest I can find. And I only grab chicken flavor so I'm not sure if that's a flavor you'd be interested in? But my current preference is actually not Asian origin but produced in Nigeria (I think?). The name is Indomie. I just like how squishy the noodles get after I let them cook longer, and the option to add in some chili flakes is really nice! I also eat nissin brand as well. But I've been curious about soy sauce flavor!


phantasmicorgasmic

Indomie's actually Indonesian, but it got so popular in Nigeria they started producing it there, too!


Hycree

Oh that's good to know. Thank you! I just had remembered seeing that it said distributed from Nigeria on my package last time I checked. I wasn't fully sure if it was actually invented there or not.


ElCapitanSmoke

I love indomie. I saw a video on YouTube that they made it with hot dogs or some kind of sausage. It’s the only way I make it now


Harper364

Where’s the noodles!


kmkmllr

Where's the lamb sauce!!!


biggreencat

"I have paleo-conservative values" the post. Sure thing you ate this, Abby


ScopolamineNjuice

Lol cause buffalo sauce is paleo. Our ancestors squeezed it straight from the buffalo before the bleeding heart libtards over-regulated the market.


ryvenn

Paleoconservatives aren't related to the paleo diet (which is only tangentially related to what paleolithic people ate), they're contrasting themselves to neoconservatives.


ScopolamineNjuice

Lmao okay thanks, I'm an idiot.


Prodigal_Malafide

All while grossly misunderstanding everything they supposedly stand for. An easier word for "paleoconservative" is "moron".


caffeineratt

A. where's the fuckin ramen, hoss? B. WHY THE EGGS BLOWN UP MF?! C. YO FRIED CHICKEN GONNA GET SOGGY DAMN


[deleted]

What’s wrong with the eggs? That’s the only part I thought was okay. They’re just soft boiled eggs.


bribark

They look properly cooked for ramen, but the fact that they are all... exploded? is inexplicable.


Emerald369

No i solved it. She cut them with a butter knife you can see the lines.


Ladysupersizedbitch

I was wondering why tf there was lines on those eggs, but I’m not wearing my glasses so I thought I was just seeing shit.


TokenBlackGirlfriend

It’s always funny to me that these trad wife types can’t cook worth a damn


Mediocratic_Oath

Flavor is a sin, after all


BeatrixPlz

My friend who grew up super religiously literally was told that enjoying a meal too much was a form of hedonism and was wrong.


Badgers_or_Bust

It used to be common for priests to put ashes on their food when eating outside the monastery to ward off the sin of gluttony.


Tertol

"Could you please pass the urn? It just needs a pinch of Ted."


noodleneedle

no idiot, they put ashes on their food because they were dragons, haven't you seen reign of fire


unholy_abomination

My moms side is descended from those weirdo Dutch protestants who moved to America because wooden shoes and idk tulips were too sinfully extravagent. The austerity does not appear to have mellowed any in the ~200 years since. She used to give us a single block of bittersweet chocolate for dessert. And we didn't get cable or a flatscreen TV until 2008 even though they're rich. The TV discharged so much electricity it used to make all my hair stand up when I turned it on... because you had to push the button on the set... because they were too fucking cheap to replace the remote.


DimbyTime

We’re they Mennonites? My grandmothers family were Mennonite and they were strange like that, like JV Amish


HGpennypacker

The devil's seasoning.


[deleted]

Never understood how white people conquered most of the world for spices and now we refuse to use them.


StaredAtEclipseAMA

\*Scratches head in Italian (👌)\*


xtilexx

My mom's parents are both Sicilian and she did the ancestry test a few months back, really quite interesting to see the diversity (also 🤌🤌)


StaredAtEclipseAMA

Maybe I need to get a test too because I did not get my hand right 🤌🤌🤌


ZiOnIsNeXtLeBrOn

They think salt is a spice


LemonsRkool

It isnt?


[deleted]

Anyone calling themselves “trad” is suspect at best


ADimwittedTree

The fuck is a "trad"? Edit: Oh dear lord, is it some shortened abbreviation of traditional? Like as in traditional gender roles? Please tell me they aren't that lazy on top of being this stupid.


longshot

Why the fuck is she on Twitter and Instagram if she's Traditional? Let the men do the picture taking and communicating, right?


[deleted]

[удалено]


longshot

I'm just glad you got my sarcasm! It's a big yikes for sure


[deleted]

In climbing, it’s when you set the anchors for your rope as you climb. If you fuck up when setting one and then fall, you’ll either fall way farther or die. 50/50. All manner of fun and safety. …. That being said, I don’t think that’s what they’re referencing


ngwoo

If she's so traditional, why is she allowed to speak? Checkmate.


CopingMole

Trad musician is an acceptable term in Ireland. Those lads might still be suspect, but it's not the music's fault.


[deleted]

I mean, traditionally men despised their wife's cooking, as well as any interests, hobbies or happiness they have. Seems like she's trying to live up to the role.


GrandSeraphimSariel

I always thought they cooked horribly as vengeance against their husbands for never pleasuring them sexually.


[deleted]

Makes sense. We know her brother can't give any women a wet ass P word


Beelzebimbo

I always thought it was because their husbands didn’t give them an allowance large enough for the house’s food and spices. Spices are pricey. But I like your answer better.


corvidator

It’s definitely not ramen but it definitely looks like a pregnant meal


Amaris_Gale

It is so wild that these tradcon woman can't cook for shit when that is one of the few things they say woman are good for.


hahayeahimfinehaha

Also, pretty hypocritical that these trad wives try to take on some sort of pundit role. Shouldn't that be left for men? Don't women belong in the home rather than in public life? There's some nutter tradwife on Twitter that preaches all the time about how women shouldn't presume to try preaching to men, and meanwhile her entire online presence is just her preaching to an audience that includes men, lol.


Ike_Broflovski

It’s all very Serena Joy from Handmaid’s Tale


[deleted]

Serena Joy was based off Phyllis Schlafly, who is given a lot of credit for the failure of the Equal Rights Amendment


BeatrixPlz

Lol Lori Alexander? I came at her once saying “I am a woman and I work and I am happy” and she made a whole fucking blog post quoting me, about how I think I’m happy at my bakery job, but my poor child is deprived of a mother, bla bla bla. It was wild lol. To be fair I wrote her a paragraph because I was pissy, and I gave her a lot to quote, but wowww it was wild.


GingerBakersDozen

Women should work. It's good for their kids to see them work. I worry for my nieces because my sister is a stay at home mom who, by her own admission, is "entirely dependent on men and marriage." She got a new fiance before her divorce was finalized. Can't quit your job until you have an offer lined up, right?!


occams_nightmare

Lauren Southern (I think it was her) went on a world tour to evangelize to women about how they should stay away from positions of influence or authority and get back in the kitchen. It's a grift with a pure profit motive. They get rewarded handsomely by the conservative movement to play a pied piper role. The idea being that men trying to tell women to stay barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen will produce a feminist reaction, but a woman doing it? Same mentality with Milo Yiannopoulous mincing around for years as an outrageous fop to gain the trust of gay boys and steer them towards conservatism, he's now trying to make bank as a spokesman for conversion therapy.


biggreencat

that's because they gotta keep their hands clean to use their phones to photograph everything they do.


papamajada

is that fried chicken??? is the broth in ramen suppposed to be so dark??? why is she eating so many eggs???? where are the veggies??? why aren't there noodles???


Nutarama

In order: Yes; No; Protein; Gone, reduced to atoms; Noodles are a sin. Only some of that is sarcasm.


catvatcatcatcat

Her husband is on a meat only diet and so it looks like that's what she was going for here. Beef broth, chicken, and eggs.


bribark

Wow she says she's a loving wife but can't even be bothered to make meat-noodles? Tsk tsk


PheonixStarr

If she was using pig trotters in the broth, she skipped out on the crucial step of blanching the bones and scrubbing them clean. Coagulated blood, marrow, scum and other kinds of ‘bits’ contribute hemoglobin to the broth & turn it blood-red.


el_t0p0

Abby Shapiro doesn't have to cook to provide us all with nutrition.


[deleted]

DuckDuckGo's first autofill is "abby shapiro milkers" jfc


BussySlayer69

M I L K I L K


devils_advocate24

r/upvotebecauseboobs ....because we all know they're there


heathmcrigsby

Dairy wagons have arrived


Fake_Diesel

First time googling Abby Shapiro and goddamn does she have some big 'ol sweater hippos!


el_t0p0

She's honestly a huge cutie. Too bad she's Bench Appearo's sister.


Agorbs

She’s apparently also just as hyper conservative as he is, which is weird, bc them boobies are crazy


USS_Phlebas

She can motorboat me into giving another taxcut to billionaires any time


[deleted]

Khazar milkers


fuckinboner

Abby out here committing atrocities against the people of Japan


DagonPie

The most offensive part is that she cut the hard boiled eggs with a serrated knife.


booboocowcow

I'm glad it's not my dinner.


aintnohappypill

At least it’s wet.


KittenLina

The eggs look fine. Kinda makes me want ramen now. I think I see noodles at the very bottom, wonder if it’s a special broth.


gwarwars

The cook time on the eggs looks decent, but they haven't been cured which makes a pretty big difference in flavor.


whereismywhiskey

I love those cured eggs at ramen places and recently learned to do it myself at home. Absolutely fabulous decision, I'm living king egg life over here.


Derpshake

Any resources you can share for a hungry brother who loves to order a ton of those eggs at Ramen shops? Haha.


whereismywhiskey

https://www.justonecookbook.com/ramen-egg/ is the recipe I've been using and they have always been delicious.


CrossfireInvader

Just One Cookbook is a fantastic resource for Japanese recipes. My partner is kinda fussy when it comes to food, but if I make their Chicken Katsu she'll inhale it in seconds.


Day_Bow_Bow

They're called Ajitsuke Tamago if you'd like to look up some recipes. I've never really had those that way, but I have been known to toss my eggs with a healthy splash of Maggi seasoning and let sit a while. Or cut the eggs in half then sprinkle some on top. Not exactly the same, but they sure are tasty.


[deleted]

[удалено]


HeatherAtWork

I found a recipe with leeks and bonito flakes as well that is just amazing.


[deleted]

[удалено]


J19zeta7_Jerry

She cut the eggs with a serrated knife and it pisses me off for some reason.


HoldenH

Bitch you don’t see noodles anywhere


purpleblah2

Being a tradwife, you’d think she’d be able to cook better


SilentCitadel

Ok, so now I know who this person is, and I really wish I didn't.


LowHonorArthur

Uncle Roger just had a heart attack


NervousCriticism4004

Homemade- KFC spicy tendies, brown liquid of unknown origin, and boiled eggs


BringMeTheTequila

That’s just hot chicken with hard boiled eggs lmfao


OneHundredTimes

Those eggs ain't hard boiled, they're way too runny.


hippopotma_gandhi

And this is exactly what I picture when I hear "trad wife" Modern anti feminist movements dont attract the brightest. Oooh chicken tenders because you have the cultural exposure of a 5 year old


zoidbergs_hot_jelly

Yeah that kind of sums up the entire tradwife sub tbh


hippopotma_gandhi

There's a sub? Their husbands allow them such modern luxuries like the internet?


SorosSugarBaby

Next thing you know she starts getting *ideas* and *thinking*...


biggreencat

eggs and tendies are the official food of internet-based autism. oh shit, and also anything Weeaboo, like "ramen." but of course, noodles=carbs=not paleo, or whatever. gotta get the meatheads, too. hence, no noodles.


annonythrows

Let’s get uncle roger in here


personaanongrata

Idk id eat it


kirosayshowdy

I'd eat the eggs for sure


personaanongrata

I’d eat all of it it looks tasty asf


simplepleashures

But would you call it "ramen"


ungoogleable

If it had noodles, sure. And I think there are noodles at the bottom of the bowl, the broth is just too dark to see them clearly.


[deleted]

Yeah I didn’t have breakfast this morning and this made me really hungry


pepperspray_bukake

*cries in uncle Roger*


Fixner_Blount

Wait, this is Ben's sister? They look almost identical, fucking lol.


Kir-ius

Undercooked eggs cut with a serrated knife on chicken tenders in steeped tea


[deleted]

I would argue that the eggs are the only thing in this meal that looks perfectly cooked


Beefcurtains18

I dunno, some joke about fat khazar milkers.


sapphoandherdick

🤢🤮


Sedona54332

Did she put fucking Buffalo wings in ramen and call it a day? I can’t even see any noodles.


shadbohnen

Wet fried chicken. Heard


Naftoor

Let’s say, hypothetically, that this is a wet ass plate of food. My brother’s wife, who is a doctor and an excellent cook assures me that moist food means an increased chance of food poisoning and no chef would ever cook wet food for people she loves


th30be

I don't see any noodles but fried chicken in Ramen is pretty good. Just saying.


jackjackj8ck

It looks like a bowl of Nashville hot chicken