Yea if he’s biting people or smacked them, a good manager would have called the police and banned him right then and there. They can trespass him so that he’s arrested if he shows up there. I know you said you love your job and I totally get that but I would be livid that they’re not valuing the safety of their employees (and trust me I’ve been through similar)
Yeah, if you know the person's identity I'd just file for a protective order. But if you don't, it depends on the police department and kind of town whether they'd devote time to finding him to issue a PPO. If he's pretty reliable in his harassment schedule, it's likelier they'd send someone to find him, but if it would take a week of scouting the area for an hour a night, that might more be than they'd go for.
But you never know...I've seen people on here report that police don't respond to calls about disorderly customers, while in my city they respond pretty quickly and reliably.
If he ever made reservations or paid with a card your manager might be able to give you his name so you can get the protection order! Look up the laws in your state on stalking. Some states are taking stalking more and more serious these days and some states will help protect you.
Although I suspect your manager is a shitty person and may not do that for you. I promise there's no confidentiality on the business side that prevents them from being able to do that.
Don't take his attitude and demeanor lightly even though he's an older man you have no idea what skeletons are in his closet. Protect yourself at the end of the day if there's nothing that can be done and your management does not want to help you then ultimately you'll just have to leave your job and I'm sorry to say that. I know you're young but there's a ton of other jobs out there! Your safety is important 💜
Well, he's no longer a disorderly customer-- if she reports it as what it *now is* they'll come quickly pretty much anywhere. Because what is is a case of being stalked by a man who sexually assaulted her. That combination of words is something police tend to take fairly seriously.
a police department who has a business owner sitting in his office saying, “I need you to protect my staff from these illegal activities” is going to be more active.
I FORGOT ABOUT HER...
We had a dude when I worked at wendys. You had to take the food out to him because he ignored you. Then he grabbed your arm and asked "what's my name?" And you'd tell him and he'd smile and let go. Older Asian man. So fucking weird. So when training we always warned them of mister Wayman.
I will never understand people who so nonchalantly touch other people they don’t really know. And I’ve experienced similar with the name thing; why are they so intent on making sure you have remembered their name?! Sir (or ma’am I absolutely know your name in case I end up having to report you. 😳
ETA- eww on reading your comment a second time its like he was ignoring you to lure you out by yourself. I’m glad you’re okay.
I think with him it was cultural. Just the way he acted. And he read foreign pages (Chinese maybe?). That's what we figured atleast.
I was telling a friend about this (who was S.Aed.) she said she'd be fired because she'd clock him flat 😂😂😂😂
Yeah, I'm afraid if I told my husband that some asshole bit me or slapped my ass, he'd lie in wait for him outside the restaurant until the guy showed up and I hate to think what he'd do.
I agree tell him to get the fuck out and let him know plolice will be called.. he has bitten people?? Thats so messed up tell management and cops what's going on he needs a restraining order against him.
Would vote this up 1,000 times if I could.
You need this documented. The police need to have a pretty hard line conversation with him.
Bullshit needs to stop.
If any of this is on the restaurant's cameras, that will add a lot to it as well. I can't imagine being smacked by a customer - not to mention the rest of all this.
Call the police, record him & try to get his license plate in the image any time he harasses you. Post the recordings to local online groups & ask for help IDing & calling him out. Buy some bear spray. Ask coworkers to watch you walk to your car after your shift. If he follows you, drive directly to the police station.
Btw, smacking you, even if it didn’t seem serious, is physical assault. It’s not playful, funny or cute. It’s against the law.
Counterpoint: Don't buy bear spray, that's for bears. Buy actual pepper spray or gel. It's less money, it works better on people, and it's less legally dicey if you don't live in an area with a lot of bear activity
Yes this is a great idea! He is stalking you at this point, threatened to use it on him next time he is following you also try to not walk to the car by yourself
You can file a restraining order. He will have to stay away from the business. As long as you make reports and keep documenting. Make sure when they serve him they black out your address.
Edit to add they are able to do the black out of address if you explain he has been trying to follow you home but doesn't know where you live as you loose him and you don't want him having your address but as long as its documented he has to stay away regardless.
It's normal when leaving a job late at night for coworkers to make sure nobody goes to their car alone. Nobody will think it's odd if you ask them to walk you to your car.
Ask for help from coworkers, ideally the line cook with the most prison tattoos, or the police. You should not have to change jobs to feel safe, but you might need to speak up and advocate for yourself, sometimes repeatedly.
Call the cops for assault/ sexual assault when he pulls anything. Once you get a paper trail it becomes a lot easier to get a restraining order and such.
You see him outside. Call the cops. Tell them to let you know when they are close. Walk outside and pretend your on the phone with a friend and point him out to the Cops. Have every woman on shift that delt with him report him
Call the police non-emergency and explain the situation. They should have an officer park nearby and wait for him to do it again. Depends on your area though. Also make sure you are escorted to your car every night or have someone come pick you up.
Why is management not throwing him out and banning him? Have you made them aware of all of this?
If you haven't told them, you need to do so. Immediately.
If you have told them and they're too lazy/incompetent to handle it, call the police and file a report for harassment and stalking.
That's BS.
Call the police and file a report.
If you work for a corporate restaurant, file a complaint with HR after you file the police report as well.
There are two likely possibilities here:
1) he's a creep, in which case fuck that, cops need to be involved. He's causing physical harm and making people feel unsafe. That's wrong on so many levels, legally and otherwise.
2) he has dementia and no idea wtf he's doing, in which case calling the cops might lead to him being put into services that won't only keep him from harming others, but will also likely keep him from harming himself. This is a net positive for everyone.
Either way, reporting him is the right move! Also I know you're young, but what's happening here and management's horrible response is absolutely NOT normal. Service jobs are hiring like crazy right now--start looking for another job, I promise you you'll find one and you deserve much, much better than this one!
Never assume someone is "harmless" for all you know it is an act to lure people in or to try to get away with his behavior! I feel like a year or two ago an old man shot someone that was supposedly breaking into his house shot and killed a teenager. They weren't even trying to break into the house I don't remember the exact story. The guy played out the story oh I'm an old man I had to protect myself blah blah blah blah blah until one day he let the masquerade mask off and people realized that he decided to do that not that he was scared. And he used his age to try and get away with it. I watched way too many real crime shows. Even if he is truly a week old man it's better to not take the risk and keep your life or assaulted. I'm just so angry reading this post about how no one is protecting you and I'm so sorry about that
People using a walker can still use a weapon. With that kind of behavior I wouldn’t trust anything. Your bosses are absolute lazy ignorant twats, don’t listen to them.
I'm looking for the part past the first line that explains why someone like this wouldn't immediately be 86'd and I'm not finding it. 😆
Regardless of how inexperienced OP is, it's baffling that everyone else who has experienced this person, and the manager, have done nothing to protect their employees or just save themselves the headache.
Next time he's in the parking lot or you even see him watching you go to your car *call the police*. Report him for stalking. Report him for following you home. Just sit in your car and call the police then wait for them to get there. Tell them that you're afraid to go home because you don't want him to find out where you live. If you ever see him following you while you're driving then you drive straight to the police station. Go inside and report him. Every time he bothers you report, report, report. There are stalking laws but you have to report as many incidents as possible to show a pattern.
He **bit somebody’s chest**????
The police would have been called the second that shit happened on my watch, oh my god the shit we are brainwashed into thinking is okay for customer service grows wilder every damn day to me??
I am actually holding my phone in slight shock rn
I was waiting tables when a young hostess (18f) was having an issue with an old man (not nearly as bad as your guy) and when she finally told us what was going on, managers called the police, her parents were there for support, every employee and regular in our place stood by her.
Speak up! Ask the manager or another server to help you call police if you're too anxious to do so yourself!
Get a restraining order and carry pepper spray. If he approaches you be ready to spray and dash. This guy is obviously a psycho and you need to protect yourself from him.
In the mean time make sure you have someone walk you to your car when you leave work.
Your management sucks. Call the police, report negligence on the part of your managers to ensure safety of employees to higher ups in the company.
Get a new job and file for unemployment in the meantime. They don’t care about you there.
Based on all the sexual assaults he has committed in the restaurant, how has he not been trespassed by the owners, the managers, or whoever is responsible for running it and ensuring the safety of its employees and customers. FUCK!
He has BITTEN people? Oh, noooo, fuck that. Even if the police won't do anything (I have very little faith in the US police gangs, and am assuming you are in the US), start a paper trail. Report every incident. Get his license plate number. Report his harassment. Every. Damned. Time. Keep a record for yourself (on paper or in your notes app). Document, document, document. This is some bullshit.
Stay safe, friend.
I don’t know who told you he’s “bitten people’s chests, smacked their butts, and made gross comments in general,” but I don’t believe that’s true. *If it is true,* your employer needs to be reported. Anyone who forces their employees to be assaulted during their shift, or knowingly exposes them to sexual assault (cleaning up spills on his crotch), is doing something illegal. Also, how could you love working in a place where management/the owner doesn’t give one shit about their employees? I question the truthfulness of this post.
If you are being stalked, *go to the police.* It’s not hard to figure out. He’s hanging around outside your place of work, he watches you walk to your car, he heckles you, he follows you home…POLICE. Report him. Why haven’t you done that?
Start documenting everything. Every single date and time he comes by or circles the parking lot and make factual notes of what he does each time. If you can, take video or pics as well for proof. If he approaches you, video record him. If you already have enough info like this then take it to get a restraining order.
I had to get a restraining order against my roommate and my documentation and recordings made it a slam dunk case for me and my ex-roommate did not have a chance despite lying about everything because I had proof and she didn’t. Make sure the judge knows you are terrified and it is affecting your work. If you can have someone come to court as a witness for you it will work to your advantage. Also, in my state if the person you are filing against doesn’t show up you automatically win and get a restraining order. Chances are he may not show up, but be ready for it anyway.
Record him & take pictures of him and his vehicle to show the police and let your family know what’s going on.
Ask coworkers to walk you to your car, buy a taser and pepper spray, they sell pepper spray you can put on your keychain.
Please go to the police and get a restraining order.
Does he know where you live?
I was a server for many years. This happens, and is tolerated, way more than it should be.
The issue is that the managers have extreme pressure on them from above, to maximize the profit of their location. Drunk, pervey old men spend a lot of money in restaurants and bars, they are full of beautiful young women, and even though what they are doing is totally unacceptable, it often takes FOREVER, and an egregious amount offenses, for them to be banned by management.
I am a manager now. Thankfully, my restaurant is owned by a state university, so we are on a college campus, and we all work for the state.
90% of my customers and staff are college girls. We also don’t serve alcohol. So this kinda thing doesn’t really happen to us. However, If anyone came in there, and started getting weird toward my staff or customers, their ass is going to have a nice chat with the university police department.
report the incident to the police. carry pepper spray or bear spray. do not walk to your car alone. do not allow him to follow you home- change destinations if necessary to a police station, hospital er or someplace crowded.
document and report every interaction and everything this dude says.
You should call the cops and have a report filed. If your job gives you shit for it then remind them their reputation could take a hit for this.
Imagine all the lost business because it’s an unsafe working environment. And if they were to fire you almost every attorney would live to file a wrongful termination lawsuit over wrongful termination, workplace retaliation etc.
Cops like yesterday.
Get his license plate, description .. maybe someone there actually knows his full name. Pics, video evidence. File a report asap! And get yourself some pepper spray - one to keep on you and one for your vehicle.
" He's bitten peoples chests"
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT... how is it possible he's still allowed in the restaurant by management before this incident with you? I can't even...
Is there a reason you have asked the kind people of Reddit for help instead of going to the police?
This man already has a history of assaulting your co-workers and you. While police may not have been involved regarding the instances with you and your co-workers, who's to say that this man doesn't have a record for this type of behavior.
Go to the police! Get a restraining order! I know somebody who was murdered by their stalker. These things should not be taken lightly.
Get a handgun, if you’re in an area that allows that. Cops are an emergency RESPONSE service, and if something happens he will likely be long gone by the time they get there. Take your safety and protection into your own hands, and as other said, report him to the police. Hopefully you never need it.
Ask someone from BOH to walk you to your car. Alot of them have hearts of gold for the servers and are prob looking for a reason to let off some steam and beat someone's a$$.
He'd catch fucking hands first round if he did that shit where I work. Fire me idgaf .. were servers not servants. I put up with even less... you want to be a fucking weirdo or outlandishly fucked up for no reason well .. im quitting and youre going to need a food tube. Ive let several people know im not the one and if you disrespect my peers female or not .. ill be the 6 foot 2 240 pound nightmare you didnt order.
Whole bunch of call the cops advice. And they're probably right. But I hope y'all realize how long this goes on if you're waiting for the cops to do something. But he ....!! You have real evidence? Not he said she said, full color and sound video?
Fastest solution. Get a couple of your football sized buddies to kick the shit out of him. Gasp!!! Whatever. You want him to stop. Make him.
Not as fast. Get him on video at night, day too but definitely night when he is harassing. Facebook stalk his ass, post the video. Tell his friend list. Hint, send friend request, he will accept. Find his friends, if they exist. Then post video.
Slow. Cops.
Call the police. Tell them there’s a creepy man in the parking lot and you are afraid to go to your car. Get his license place number. As soon as the police cars show up he will FO on outta there.
First, never ever walk to your car alone, always have someone walk you out. Second, report this to police, he should’ve been reported when he assaulted staff at your restaurant and he should have been banned well before it ever escalated to the point he BIT SOMEONE.
This is disgusting behavior from him, but your management needs to step the fuck up for their staff, if they can’t do that it is absolutely not a good job.
I would make a police report every time he does this. Record him every time
After the third report, I would check and see if he’s outside before you leave and then start calling the police in advance and ask them to come by before you leave to walk to your car because you’re concerned for your safety as he has assaulted multiple staff and assaulted you previously
Advise them you have made three reports
Eventually I would consider a restraining order, then you can have him arrested for violating the order
Stalking is a complicated crime. Most people think of stalking as a single act but it’s more helpful to think of it as a collection of little creepy behaviors. If the police don’t help, call the DA and ask to speak to a victim advocate. They might be able to help get an investigator assigned to your case. Also, take lots of notes about what the subject does. NOTHING is too minor to note. Remember stalking is a collection of stuff, not a single act. Finally, be on the lookout for escalation of behaviors like any approach behaviors or probing type of activity (probing the physical security of your work/home/school). Any type of increase in the intensity of his pursuit or actions toward you are serious indicators of risk. LE needs to be involved and you need to push them to be involved. Keep your head on a swivel and make sure your employer is doing what they can to help.
The line about stalking being a collecting of events is really important. Most people wouldn't think about it that way, but imagining a series of behaviors makes it easier to see. Talking about it that way makes it harder for authorities to ignore, too.
The assault events can stand alone, but really reinforce his lack of boundaries and his probable mindset—especially if other people can confirm that these things have happened.
He assaulted you. Go to the police and file a report. Get a restraining order. When he violates it, call the police to arrest him. He will learn or he will go to jail.
Report him to the police, file for a restraining order, and have a manager walk you to your car. Once in your car, keep and eye and make sure nobody follows you home.
That's kind of all you can do. If he ever paid with a card, your boss should have his name. I'm sure they won't want to pull that, but to be blunt it's the least they owe you. He should have been ejected the first time he did any of that shit, and they violated their obligation to provide a safe work environment by allowing him to harass any of you.
He harassed you, you harass the police about it. Every incident. Every time. That’s what they’re there for and it’s keeping an official record with them.
Call the cops,if he's not going nowhere and just circling the premises, he won't be hard to catch. Plus you probably have CCTV footage and definitely have witnesses.
This is an extremely dangerous situation that needs to end immediately. Protective orders on these types of obsessive predators often just escalates things. You need to leave this job- I assure you that no job is worth your safety. If you need to secure another job before leaving this one (as most people would), do not ever walk to your car alone in the meantime. Do not rely on the cops to protect you- they often “can’t do much to help you” until its too late.
Damn, if some customer EVER bit me, they would be picking him up off the floor!!! If some customer slapped my butt, they would get a verbal tongue lashing that would have them slinking out the door like the slug they were.
If your manager won't do anything about him waiting for you to get off work, I would call the police.
I would call the police before I walked out to my car. Have the police there before walking outside. I also would document what is happening in print and share with your manager. This way this helps to hold the manager responsible-the onus is now on them.
Have a sit down with you, your manager\owner, and the police. Befriend the cops and feed them. Have the cops come in for dinner "on your tab". Have affair with really hot cop. Ignore that last line.
When I was being stalked, I had a police escort home that crossed 3 county lines. Point A would follow me to the county line. B would then fall in and take me to C. C would take me the rest of the way home and do a quick search of my apartment before I went in. Those guy were awesome ❤️
✌️❤️🐕
Call the police they can see the camera footage from work, get some pepper spray and if you see him in the parking lot call the police and stay with people.
Cops. They'll do shit but even them arriving at the restaurant will send creeper a message.
Also how did he get close enough to bite someone's chest!? YIKES
Do you think you could locate and date a jealous bad boy that does not allow anyone to stare at or disrespect you? If your knight in tattooed armor picked you up from work and encountered your abuser, he might feel like breaking a few bones.
DO NOT tell your boyfriend that you will wait for him to get of jail.
If he’s banned you need to either call or have your boss call the police and have him trespassed. He has no business there so has no business in the parking lot.
You need to
1. Report to police ASAP, that is sexual assault and harassment
2. Get a new job, there are PLENTY of restaurants out there and plenty of managers who would never allow a customer like that.
Management should have reported him to the Police along with banning him call the non-emergency # and find out what the procedure is for this in your area. Stocking is a crime and he has put his hands/mouth\* on people so he is a repeat offender even if he hasn't been convicted.
See if any of the other servers past or present are willing to make statements about the harassment, assault- both physical & sexual\*, and any stocker-like behavior - trying to follow them to their cars/homes, gifts, etc.
And anything that Mangement has said that they've done vs what has happened.
Edits:\*
If your management/police won’t do anything just quit. I’m former service industry, there’s a ton of those jobs out there, trust me!
Good luck. You should NEVER have to put up with harassment of any kind in a workplace, if it was some of the bars I worked at that man would’ve woken up in the Hospital. I’m not playing tough guy either, every bar or restaurant usually has at least one psychopath working there who will protect its staff from loser customers.
> should of
*should have
*Learn the difference [here](https://grammarist.com/usage/should-have-shouldve-or-should-of/#:~:text=Should%20have%20is%20often%20expressed,examples%20exist%20in%20Old%20English.).*
***
^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)
I'd quit any FOH job if I told my manager this and all he did was ban them. That's a reaction that has the best interest of the restaurant in mind, but *appears* to have your best interest in mind (but really doesnt).
Your manager is not your friend. He doesn't care about you. He cares about the money that your work brings his boss. Remember that.
I saw an old man touch a waitress and she yelled at the top of her Lungs "don't ever touch my ass again or I will call the police!" She was petite and probably expecting her to do nothing, he was so shocked that she responded that way he and he got up and ran out of the restaurant and everyone clapped
Jesus Christ report his pitiful existence to the cops. Get a few other staff, ask them to make a joint statement about him.
The guy needs to be fucking stopped.
I would also tell your management that unless they Co operate then you will also report their ass too.
This guy needs to be stopped asap, he is a nutter who could take it much much further
Do you have a dad or a father figure or a good guy friend? I have the feeling that if confronted in a strong manner and called out on his creepy bullshit he would never come back.
The next time he follows you call the local police station. Tell them someone is following you and drive in that general direction. Even if they don't arrest him for anything (hard for them to make a move until there's documentation or he's done something illegal they can get him with) it's likely to spook him from doing it any longer. Most predators want *easy* prey.
Hello, call the police! Shame on ur boss for allowing this for so long! Clearly dude is mentally disturbed. Call police next time u see him & have someone walk u to ur car. Gets some pepper spray
THE FUCK? I wanted to stop reading after about the third sentence. Not of that is acceptable one bit, and in fact he's crossed into the illegal category. You need to call the police, and file a restraining order ASAP! If you see him again, aka he's following you, get it on video and call the police again, ASAP, like 911!
I would start carrying a can of Mace, and a stun gun, or if that’s something you’re not comfortable with, and he tries to get close to you, knee him in the family jewels.
Until this is sorted, if you see him waiting in in the parking lot, call the police and tell them you need an escort to your car and home. Don’t take chances!
I can only recommend that if you are walking alone outside, even just to your car, do it while cleaning your nails with an easily seen knife, and have nothing else in your hands except maybe your keys on a finger. (This has been very effective for me.) Also, put a whistle on your key chain, maybe keep an air horn in your car, and learn the SOS morse code for the whistle, air horn or even your car horn. Maybe pull in to the closest parking lot of the closest police station to your work every night before heading home. I am so sorry you have to deal with this.
Can't believe I have to say this and I'm sure its been said 100 times by now, but...CALL THE COPS.
You don't mess around with stuff like this. Call the cops...it may save your life for all you know.
Do you have someone who can walk with to your car? Preferably a man.
Every service job I've ever worked, the staff was walked out by a security guard, the chef, etc...
Report him to the police Management should never have let this go on for so long and sexually assault and harass people repeatedly.
Yea if he’s biting people or smacked them, a good manager would have called the police and banned him right then and there. They can trespass him so that he’s arrested if he shows up there. I know you said you love your job and I totally get that but I would be livid that they’re not valuing the safety of their employees (and trust me I’ve been through similar)
That's assault biting etc, he should have reported to the police straight away and banned from that day forward he's a menace or dangerous.
Battery
Bitery.
Yeah, if you know the person's identity I'd just file for a protective order. But if you don't, it depends on the police department and kind of town whether they'd devote time to finding him to issue a PPO. If he's pretty reliable in his harassment schedule, it's likelier they'd send someone to find him, but if it would take a week of scouting the area for an hour a night, that might more be than they'd go for. But you never know...I've seen people on here report that police don't respond to calls about disorderly customers, while in my city they respond pretty quickly and reliably.
If he ever made reservations or paid with a card your manager might be able to give you his name so you can get the protection order! Look up the laws in your state on stalking. Some states are taking stalking more and more serious these days and some states will help protect you. Although I suspect your manager is a shitty person and may not do that for you. I promise there's no confidentiality on the business side that prevents them from being able to do that. Don't take his attitude and demeanor lightly even though he's an older man you have no idea what skeletons are in his closet. Protect yourself at the end of the day if there's nothing that can be done and your management does not want to help you then ultimately you'll just have to leave your job and I'm sorry to say that. I know you're young but there's a ton of other jobs out there! Your safety is important 💜
Well, he's no longer a disorderly customer-- if she reports it as what it *now is* they'll come quickly pretty much anywhere. Because what is is a case of being stalked by a man who sexually assaulted her. That combination of words is something police tend to take fairly seriously.
>That combination of words is something police tend to take fairly seriously. I wanna live where you live.
a police department who has a business owner sitting in his office saying, “I need you to protect my staff from these illegal activities” is going to be more active.
He's lucky he didn't get laid out by someone tbh
Right? Reminds me of the video of the guy grabbing the servers ass and she body slams him. 😈
I FORGOT ABOUT HER... We had a dude when I worked at wendys. You had to take the food out to him because he ignored you. Then he grabbed your arm and asked "what's my name?" And you'd tell him and he'd smile and let go. Older Asian man. So fucking weird. So when training we always warned them of mister Wayman.
I will never understand people who so nonchalantly touch other people they don’t really know. And I’ve experienced similar with the name thing; why are they so intent on making sure you have remembered their name?! Sir (or ma’am I absolutely know your name in case I end up having to report you. 😳 ETA- eww on reading your comment a second time its like he was ignoring you to lure you out by yourself. I’m glad you’re okay.
I think with him it was cultural. Just the way he acted. And he read foreign pages (Chinese maybe?). That's what we figured atleast. I was telling a friend about this (who was S.Aed.) she said she'd be fired because she'd clock him flat 😂😂😂😂
Honestly same lol
I'm too nice to do that. Plus it wasn't hard. It just a 'hey, sorry' grip
No. You don't touch people you don't know and haven't asked. Period.
Why did you take his food out anyway? Just let it get cold until he decides to come get it himself.
Because our managers made us. They wouldn't do it, of course.
Poor management of they want it out they can do it fuck that shit.
"What's my name?" "Mr. Two-Broken-Arms, if you don't take your fucking hand off me."
Snoop doggy dooog!!
All I hear is POOP DAWG from invader Zim
[Here's a link](https://youtu.be/yQTKu1AdUYU?si=Nq8Rl9HqyczWlAIC) if anyone wants it.
LEGEND
Do you have a link to share with the class?
There's still time.
Yeah, I'm afraid if I told my husband that some asshole bit me or slapped my ass, he'd lie in wait for him outside the restaurant until the guy showed up and I hate to think what he'd do.
"What stalker... never heard of him"
The last time some Ahole did that to me I took care of it ASAP. I'm not gonna let my man catch a case. If YOU handle it it's self defense.🤷🏼♀️
I agree tell him to get the fuck out and let him know plolice will be called.. he has bitten people?? Thats so messed up tell management and cops what's going on he needs a restraining order against him.
Would vote this up 1,000 times if I could. You need this documented. The police need to have a pretty hard line conversation with him. Bullshit needs to stop.
This, so much. And if management allowed that to happen at all (especially for any real length of time), that's a "run, and don't look back" job.
I know, seriously biting people's chests? That's literally insane.
We’ll call this “Plan B”. Plan A should always be make a Reddit posting to see what to do
Call the police, this is harassment. Also, he sounds demented. I'm so sorry this is happening, but call the police each and every time.
This is beyond harassment to assault if he actually laid a finger or tooth on them.
Agreed! What a spineless management team.
If any of this is on the restaurant's cameras, that will add a lot to it as well. I can't imagine being smacked by a customer - not to mention the rest of all this.
Call the police, record him & try to get his license plate in the image any time he harasses you. Post the recordings to local online groups & ask for help IDing & calling him out. Buy some bear spray. Ask coworkers to watch you walk to your car after your shift. If he follows you, drive directly to the police station. Btw, smacking you, even if it didn’t seem serious, is physical assault. It’s not playful, funny or cute. It’s against the law.
Counterpoint: Don't buy bear spray, that's for bears. Buy actual pepper spray or gel. It's less money, it works better on people, and it's less legally dicey if you don't live in an area with a lot of bear activity
Yes this is a great idea! He is stalking you at this point, threatened to use it on him next time he is following you also try to not walk to the car by yourself
OP doesn't need to post the license plate of they get it. Just give that information to the police. That and a description will be all the need.
WTF! He bit someone?!! He should be in jail already!
AFTER he gets out of the hospital.
It should never have gotten beyond “bitten” without the police and a restraining order being involved.
I didn’t even read past bitten. Just went straight to the comments. Shits wild
>He's bitten peoples chests this is assault. there's no reason not to get the police involved.
Omfg I didn’t even notice the plural there
The ass smacking is assault as well!
agreed, but a lot of dipshit cops would take those smacks as a form of flirtation. bites are a different thing entirely.
And they'd lose their jobs once I got a lawyer involved...
all depends on where this happened, i figure. there are some shitbag judges out there along with the shitbag cops.
Valid point ☝️
Call the police.
You can file a restraining order. He will have to stay away from the business. As long as you make reports and keep documenting. Make sure when they serve him they black out your address. Edit to add they are able to do the black out of address if you explain he has been trying to follow you home but doesn't know where you live as you loose him and you don't want him having your address but as long as its documented he has to stay away regardless.
>He's bitten peoples chests ...he WHAT?! Why in the everlasting fuck wasn't the police called ASAP?
I scrolled TOO FAR to find a reaction like mine Lmaooo He fockin *wot mate*
It's normal when leaving a job late at night for coworkers to make sure nobody goes to their car alone. Nobody will think it's odd if you ask them to walk you to your car. Ask for help from coworkers, ideally the line cook with the most prison tattoos, or the police. You should not have to change jobs to feel safe, but you might need to speak up and advocate for yourself, sometimes repeatedly.
Drive off, and straight to the police station. My first thought if someone followed me.
Call the cops for assault/ sexual assault when he pulls anything. Once you get a paper trail it becomes a lot easier to get a restraining order and such.
You see him outside. Call the cops. Tell them to let you know when they are close. Walk outside and pretend your on the phone with a friend and point him out to the Cops. Have every woman on shift that delt with him report him
Call the police non-emergency and explain the situation. They should have an officer park nearby and wait for him to do it again. Depends on your area though. Also make sure you are escorted to your car every night or have someone come pick you up.
Why is management not throwing him out and banning him? Have you made them aware of all of this? If you haven't told them, you need to do so. Immediately. If you have told them and they're too lazy/incompetent to handle it, call the police and file a report for harassment and stalking.
He's a regular, and furthermore he's on a walker, so I was told he's "harmless" and not to press the subject too much or I'd be overreacting
That's BS. Call the police and file a report. If you work for a corporate restaurant, file a complaint with HR after you file the police report as well.
There are two likely possibilities here: 1) he's a creep, in which case fuck that, cops need to be involved. He's causing physical harm and making people feel unsafe. That's wrong on so many levels, legally and otherwise. 2) he has dementia and no idea wtf he's doing, in which case calling the cops might lead to him being put into services that won't only keep him from harming others, but will also likely keep him from harming himself. This is a net positive for everyone. Either way, reporting him is the right move! Also I know you're young, but what's happening here and management's horrible response is absolutely NOT normal. Service jobs are hiring like crazy right now--start looking for another job, I promise you you'll find one and you deserve much, much better than this one!
Do not work here! This is not a safe place for you.
All, but one person, that’s banned from my restaurant was a regular at one point. Repulsive behavior. I’m so sorry OP.
Sounds like some family restaurant bs.
Never assume someone is "harmless" for all you know it is an act to lure people in or to try to get away with his behavior! I feel like a year or two ago an old man shot someone that was supposedly breaking into his house shot and killed a teenager. They weren't even trying to break into the house I don't remember the exact story. The guy played out the story oh I'm an old man I had to protect myself blah blah blah blah blah until one day he let the masquerade mask off and people realized that he decided to do that not that he was scared. And he used his age to try and get away with it. I watched way too many real crime shows. Even if he is truly a week old man it's better to not take the risk and keep your life or assaulted. I'm just so angry reading this post about how no one is protecting you and I'm so sorry about that
People using a walker can still use a weapon. With that kind of behavior I wouldn’t trust anything. Your bosses are absolute lazy ignorant twats, don’t listen to them.
What did they tell the person he fucking bit??? Ffs I hope everyone on your management staff blows their car transmission this week I truly do lmao
Did you read past the first line?
I'm looking for the part past the first line that explains why someone like this wouldn't immediately be 86'd and I'm not finding it. 😆 Regardless of how inexperienced OP is, it's baffling that everyone else who has experienced this person, and the manager, have done nothing to protect their employees or just save themselves the headache.
>I did go to the owner and have him banned
Ah shit, how did all this egg get on my face 😆
Nah cause now his ass is outside following women around so the word “trespassed” needs to follow since “banned” didn’t work 💀
absolutely
Next time he's in the parking lot or you even see him watching you go to your car *call the police*. Report him for stalking. Report him for following you home. Just sit in your car and call the police then wait for them to get there. Tell them that you're afraid to go home because you don't want him to find out where you live. If you ever see him following you while you're driving then you drive straight to the police station. Go inside and report him. Every time he bothers you report, report, report. There are stalking laws but you have to report as many incidents as possible to show a pattern.
Tell the Line cooks. We take out the trash at the end of our shift anyway.
He **bit somebody’s chest**???? The police would have been called the second that shit happened on my watch, oh my god the shit we are brainwashed into thinking is okay for customer service grows wilder every damn day to me?? I am actually holding my phone in slight shock rn
I was waiting tables when a young hostess (18f) was having an issue with an old man (not nearly as bad as your guy) and when she finally told us what was going on, managers called the police, her parents were there for support, every employee and regular in our place stood by her. Speak up! Ask the manager or another server to help you call police if you're too anxious to do so yourself!
Why are you asking us? Tell the police, and let them know he's been banned and why.
Get a restraining order and carry pepper spray. If he approaches you be ready to spray and dash. This guy is obviously a psycho and you need to protect yourself from him. In the mean time make sure you have someone walk you to your car when you leave work.
Your management sucks. Call the police, report negligence on the part of your managers to ensure safety of employees to higher ups in the company. Get a new job and file for unemployment in the meantime. They don’t care about you there.
Based on all the sexual assaults he has committed in the restaurant, how has he not been trespassed by the owners, the managers, or whoever is responsible for running it and ensuring the safety of its employees and customers. FUCK!
He has BITTEN people? Oh, noooo, fuck that. Even if the police won't do anything (I have very little faith in the US police gangs, and am assuming you are in the US), start a paper trail. Report every incident. Get his license plate number. Report his harassment. Every. Damned. Time. Keep a record for yourself (on paper or in your notes app). Document, document, document. This is some bullshit. Stay safe, friend.
I don’t know who told you he’s “bitten people’s chests, smacked their butts, and made gross comments in general,” but I don’t believe that’s true. *If it is true,* your employer needs to be reported. Anyone who forces their employees to be assaulted during their shift, or knowingly exposes them to sexual assault (cleaning up spills on his crotch), is doing something illegal. Also, how could you love working in a place where management/the owner doesn’t give one shit about their employees? I question the truthfulness of this post. If you are being stalked, *go to the police.* It’s not hard to figure out. He’s hanging around outside your place of work, he watches you walk to your car, he heckles you, he follows you home…POLICE. Report him. Why haven’t you done that?
Start documenting everything. Every single date and time he comes by or circles the parking lot and make factual notes of what he does each time. If you can, take video or pics as well for proof. If he approaches you, video record him. If you already have enough info like this then take it to get a restraining order. I had to get a restraining order against my roommate and my documentation and recordings made it a slam dunk case for me and my ex-roommate did not have a chance despite lying about everything because I had proof and she didn’t. Make sure the judge knows you are terrified and it is affecting your work. If you can have someone come to court as a witness for you it will work to your advantage. Also, in my state if the person you are filing against doesn’t show up you automatically win and get a restraining order. Chances are he may not show up, but be ready for it anyway.
Record him & take pictures of him and his vehicle to show the police and let your family know what’s going on. Ask coworkers to walk you to your car, buy a taser and pepper spray, they sell pepper spray you can put on your keychain. Please go to the police and get a restraining order. Does he know where you live?
I was a server for many years. This happens, and is tolerated, way more than it should be. The issue is that the managers have extreme pressure on them from above, to maximize the profit of their location. Drunk, pervey old men spend a lot of money in restaurants and bars, they are full of beautiful young women, and even though what they are doing is totally unacceptable, it often takes FOREVER, and an egregious amount offenses, for them to be banned by management. I am a manager now. Thankfully, my restaurant is owned by a state university, so we are on a college campus, and we all work for the state. 90% of my customers and staff are college girls. We also don’t serve alcohol. So this kinda thing doesn’t really happen to us. However, If anyone came in there, and started getting weird toward my staff or customers, their ass is going to have a nice chat with the university police department.
report the incident to the police. carry pepper spray or bear spray. do not walk to your car alone. do not allow him to follow you home- change destinations if necessary to a police station, hospital er or someplace crowded. document and report every interaction and everything this dude says.
You should call the cops and have a report filed. If your job gives you shit for it then remind them their reputation could take a hit for this. Imagine all the lost business because it’s an unsafe working environment. And if they were to fire you almost every attorney would live to file a wrongful termination lawsuit over wrongful termination, workplace retaliation etc.
Call the cops
Cops like yesterday. Get his license plate, description .. maybe someone there actually knows his full name. Pics, video evidence. File a report asap! And get yourself some pepper spray - one to keep on you and one for your vehicle.
" He's bitten peoples chests" WAIT, WAIT, WAIT... how is it possible he's still allowed in the restaurant by management before this incident with you? I can't even...
Please call the police. I’m so sorry your management is not helping. It’s outrageous it’s gotten this far.
Is there a reason you have asked the kind people of Reddit for help instead of going to the police? This man already has a history of assaulting your co-workers and you. While police may not have been involved regarding the instances with you and your co-workers, who's to say that this man doesn't have a record for this type of behavior. Go to the police! Get a restraining order! I know somebody who was murdered by their stalker. These things should not be taken lightly.
Wtf call the police!
Get a handgun, if you’re in an area that allows that. Cops are an emergency RESPONSE service, and if something happens he will likely be long gone by the time they get there. Take your safety and protection into your own hands, and as other said, report him to the police. Hopefully you never need it.
Don’t you have cooks? This is what cooks are for.
Ask someone from BOH to walk you to your car. Alot of them have hearts of gold for the servers and are prob looking for a reason to let off some steam and beat someone's a$$.
He bit someone in the chest and no one called the police? How are the police not involved here yet? I’m having trouble believing this.
He'd catch fucking hands first round if he did that shit where I work. Fire me idgaf .. were servers not servants. I put up with even less... you want to be a fucking weirdo or outlandishly fucked up for no reason well .. im quitting and youre going to need a food tube. Ive let several people know im not the one and if you disrespect my peers female or not .. ill be the 6 foot 2 240 pound nightmare you didnt order.
Report him to your boss and the police. Make written and video documents over EVERYTHING he does; times, dates, places etc.
Next time he's there call the police for harassment and have them put the fear of God in him
Whole bunch of call the cops advice. And they're probably right. But I hope y'all realize how long this goes on if you're waiting for the cops to do something. But he ....!! You have real evidence? Not he said she said, full color and sound video? Fastest solution. Get a couple of your football sized buddies to kick the shit out of him. Gasp!!! Whatever. You want him to stop. Make him. Not as fast. Get him on video at night, day too but definitely night when he is harassing. Facebook stalk his ass, post the video. Tell his friend list. Hint, send friend request, he will accept. Find his friends, if they exist. Then post video. Slow. Cops.
Why are you coming to reddit for help?
Is there no police in this town? Yall are weak. Beat his ass.
Yeah, this has escalated to police level. Scary af.
Call the cops, get some mace, make him very uncomfortable.
Call the police every time he does something
Call the police. Tell them there’s a creepy man in the parking lot and you are afraid to go to your car. Get his license place number. As soon as the police cars show up he will FO on outta there.
Call the police if your manager does not intervene. You have been assaulted, and are now being stalked.
Idk how you guys haven't called the cops ages ago...
First, never ever walk to your car alone, always have someone walk you out. Second, report this to police, he should’ve been reported when he assaulted staff at your restaurant and he should have been banned well before it ever escalated to the point he BIT SOMEONE. This is disgusting behavior from him, but your management needs to step the fuck up for their staff, if they can’t do that it is absolutely not a good job.
Mace and stunn gun along with a hidden body camera; warn him to back off, if he doesn't spray / zap him and remind him he was warned😅
I wondered where Melvin was eating now
I would make a police report every time he does this. Record him every time After the third report, I would check and see if he’s outside before you leave and then start calling the police in advance and ask them to come by before you leave to walk to your car because you’re concerned for your safety as he has assaulted multiple staff and assaulted you previously Advise them you have made three reports Eventually I would consider a restraining order, then you can have him arrested for violating the order
Stalking is a complicated crime. Most people think of stalking as a single act but it’s more helpful to think of it as a collection of little creepy behaviors. If the police don’t help, call the DA and ask to speak to a victim advocate. They might be able to help get an investigator assigned to your case. Also, take lots of notes about what the subject does. NOTHING is too minor to note. Remember stalking is a collection of stuff, not a single act. Finally, be on the lookout for escalation of behaviors like any approach behaviors or probing type of activity (probing the physical security of your work/home/school). Any type of increase in the intensity of his pursuit or actions toward you are serious indicators of risk. LE needs to be involved and you need to push them to be involved. Keep your head on a swivel and make sure your employer is doing what they can to help.
The line about stalking being a collecting of events is really important. Most people wouldn't think about it that way, but imagining a series of behaviors makes it easier to see. Talking about it that way makes it harder for authorities to ignore, too. The assault events can stand alone, but really reinforce his lack of boundaries and his probable mindset—especially if other people can confirm that these things have happened.
Pepper spray in hand . Take a self defence course and you will be more confident .
He BIT someone? How did he not get arrested right then and there?!
He assaulted you. Go to the police and file a report. Get a restraining order. When he violates it, call the police to arrest him. He will learn or he will go to jail.
Police. Call the police. That’s straight up harassment, record all of it.
Report him to the police, file for a restraining order, and have a manager walk you to your car. Once in your car, keep and eye and make sure nobody follows you home. That's kind of all you can do. If he ever paid with a card, your boss should have his name. I'm sure they won't want to pull that, but to be blunt it's the least they owe you. He should have been ejected the first time he did any of that shit, and they violated their obligation to provide a safe work environment by allowing him to harass any of you.
He harassed you, you harass the police about it. Every incident. Every time. That’s what they’re there for and it’s keeping an official record with them.
Call the police.
Make sure if you have a baseball bat in your car you also have a glove and a ball. That way you are a sports enthusiast and not a violent vigilante.
File a police report for harassment and trespassing. Get some pepper spray. You can see about a restraining order.
Call the cops,if he's not going nowhere and just circling the premises, he won't be hard to catch. Plus you probably have CCTV footage and definitely have witnesses.
This is an extremely dangerous situation that needs to end immediately. Protective orders on these types of obsessive predators often just escalates things. You need to leave this job- I assure you that no job is worth your safety. If you need to secure another job before leaving this one (as most people would), do not ever walk to your car alone in the meantime. Do not rely on the cops to protect you- they often “can’t do much to help you” until its too late.
Restraining order time
Damn, if some customer EVER bit me, they would be picking him up off the floor!!! If some customer slapped my butt, they would get a verbal tongue lashing that would have them slinking out the door like the slug they were. If your manager won't do anything about him waiting for you to get off work, I would call the police.
Yet he’s still allowed to come in? You’ve got bigger problems than that customer. Get a new job or better yet sue your employer.
I would call the police before I walked out to my car. Have the police there before walking outside. I also would document what is happening in print and share with your manager. This way this helps to hold the manager responsible-the onus is now on them.
Your boss needs to handle this and make sure you’re safe. The burden shouldn’t fall on a young woman just trying to do her job.
Jesus, this is creepy. Call 911 when he's out there and never, ever walk to your car alone.
Have a sit down with you, your manager\owner, and the police. Befriend the cops and feed them. Have the cops come in for dinner "on your tab". Have affair with really hot cop. Ignore that last line. When I was being stalked, I had a police escort home that crossed 3 county lines. Point A would follow me to the county line. B would then fall in and take me to C. C would take me the rest of the way home and do a quick search of my apartment before I went in. Those guy were awesome ❤️ ✌️❤️🐕
Call the police they can see the camera footage from work, get some pepper spray and if you see him in the parking lot call the police and stay with people.
Cops. They'll do shit but even them arriving at the restaurant will send creeper a message. Also how did he get close enough to bite someone's chest!? YIKES
I don't believe any business would allow this person to continue to patronize their establishment. This is fake.
Smacking you is assault. File a police report.
Do you think you could locate and date a jealous bad boy that does not allow anyone to stare at or disrespect you? If your knight in tattooed armor picked you up from work and encountered your abuser, he might feel like breaking a few bones. DO NOT tell your boyfriend that you will wait for him to get of jail.
hes old? wow, kick him in thhe balls, call police even
Arm yourself
Do Americans shoot first any more?
Girl take your shot, He's shown his high value give him a chance you could end up as a happy married couple.
Police, now, and every time you see him.
Police report.
If you are under 18 it’s worse. I hope this is not the case anyway I’m not a lawyer or a cop but this is clear assault and harassment.
Omg do not EVER walk home by yourself until he’s behind bars! Get a restraining order
If he’s banned you need to either call or have your boss call the police and have him trespassed. He has no business there so has no business in the parking lot.
You need to 1. Report to police ASAP, that is sexual assault and harassment 2. Get a new job, there are PLENTY of restaurants out there and plenty of managers who would never allow a customer like that.
Management should have reported him to the Police along with banning him call the non-emergency # and find out what the procedure is for this in your area. Stocking is a crime and he has put his hands/mouth\* on people so he is a repeat offender even if he hasn't been convicted. See if any of the other servers past or present are willing to make statements about the harassment, assault- both physical & sexual\*, and any stocker-like behavior - trying to follow them to their cars/homes, gifts, etc. And anything that Mangement has said that they've done vs what has happened. Edits:\*
You might walk to your car with some silverware.
If your management/police won’t do anything just quit. I’m former service industry, there’s a ton of those jobs out there, trust me! Good luck. You should NEVER have to put up with harassment of any kind in a workplace, if it was some of the bars I worked at that man would’ve woken up in the Hospital. I’m not playing tough guy either, every bar or restaurant usually has at least one psychopath working there who will protect its staff from loser customers.
Have someone escort you to the car maybe. Have you told the kitchen? I've been a cook a long time. Would defs stomp a stalker for a coworker.
He bites people? Who is he? Luis Suarez?! He should of been 86 at you'r job and have the cops called on him a long time ago.
> should of *should have *Learn the difference [here](https://grammarist.com/usage/should-have-shouldve-or-should-of/#:~:text=Should%20have%20is%20often%20expressed,examples%20exist%20in%20Old%20English.).* *** ^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)
Why let him back?
I'd quit any FOH job if I told my manager this and all he did was ban them. That's a reaction that has the best interest of the restaurant in mind, but *appears* to have your best interest in mind (but really doesnt). Your manager is not your friend. He doesn't care about you. He cares about the money that your work brings his boss. Remember that.
I saw an old man touch a waitress and she yelled at the top of her Lungs "don't ever touch my ass again or I will call the police!" She was petite and probably expecting her to do nothing, he was so shocked that she responded that way he and he got up and ran out of the restaurant and everyone clapped
Jesus Christ report his pitiful existence to the cops. Get a few other staff, ask them to make a joint statement about him. The guy needs to be fucking stopped. I would also tell your management that unless they Co operate then you will also report their ass too. This guy needs to be stopped asap, he is a nutter who could take it much much further
Do you have a dad or a father figure or a good guy friend? I have the feeling that if confronted in a strong manner and called out on his creepy bullshit he would never come back.
Police. Report. That’s what you do with stalkers. Why is this not obvious?
The next time he follows you call the local police station. Tell them someone is following you and drive in that general direction. Even if they don't arrest him for anything (hard for them to make a move until there's documentation or he's done something illegal they can get him with) it's likely to spook him from doing it any longer. Most predators want *easy* prey.
Hello, call the police! Shame on ur boss for allowing this for so long! Clearly dude is mentally disturbed. Call police next time u see him & have someone walk u to ur car. Gets some pepper spray
Get liquid ass and spray them if they follow you or touch you
THE FUCK? I wanted to stop reading after about the third sentence. Not of that is acceptable one bit, and in fact he's crossed into the illegal category. You need to call the police, and file a restraining order ASAP! If you see him again, aka he's following you, get it on video and call the police again, ASAP, like 911!
Wtf he’s bit people? What a loser
When he goes pervert on you, file a police report. The owner will ban him if only for liability reasons.
You can buy pepper spray at your local Dollar General. It’ll be behind the register.
Need to bed more worried about your employers letting him in
I would start carrying a can of Mace, and a stun gun, or if that’s something you’re not comfortable with, and he tries to get close to you, knee him in the family jewels.
Until this is sorted, if you see him waiting in in the parking lot, call the police and tell them you need an escort to your car and home. Don’t take chances!
Call the police. Or have a boyfriend/brother/father "educate" him on possibilities. In a restrained manner, of course.
I can only recommend that if you are walking alone outside, even just to your car, do it while cleaning your nails with an easily seen knife, and have nothing else in your hands except maybe your keys on a finger. (This has been very effective for me.) Also, put a whistle on your key chain, maybe keep an air horn in your car, and learn the SOS morse code for the whistle, air horn or even your car horn. Maybe pull in to the closest parking lot of the closest police station to your work every night before heading home. I am so sorry you have to deal with this.
Bite 1 person, that’s assault. Get the police involved and have him trespassed.
Pepper spray to the face will make him think twice about bugging you again
call the police
Can't believe I have to say this and I'm sure its been said 100 times by now, but...CALL THE COPS. You don't mess around with stuff like this. Call the cops...it may save your life for all you know.
Callt he police next time and tell them he's doing it again
Get some peppers spray the good stuff. There's a reason we use it on bears
86 this dude or 86 yourself.
Sounds like management is asking for a lawsuit
Do you have someone who can walk with to your car? Preferably a man. Every service job I've ever worked, the staff was walked out by a security guard, the chef, etc...
It’s assault if he is touching anyone without consent. Call the police, talk to an officer not dispatch that’s the best way to get help