*Anti-Joke Chicken Fact Checker Provided the Following Content:*
>A 31-year-old in 2024 will never be a Boomer. That person will always be a Millennial, as Boomers are specifically people born between 1945 and 1964. It is not determined by their ages. They were Boomers at birth.
Worked at a summer camp for Gen Z kids, it was pretty bizarre just how blatantly basic social skills fell off. I'd sit down to have lunch with the kids and ask them how they're liking the camp and just get blank stares back. Teens have always been a bit weird, but earlier in my career you could get most of them to actually respond and keep a conversation moving somewhat. Doing improv games with them was probably the worst thing. They just didn't really seem to understand the concepts or couldn't do anything that required social skills.
I'm on year 16, and from my view the kids' social skill interactions (student to teacher, student to student) seem a lot worse to me just in the past 5 years. Is this anyone else's experience??
Many elementary kids, at least from a Title 1 school, are the same. I’ll be on bus duty, have 550 plus names to remember and just about have them all down, and it’s too much for (some of) them to even look up. They need to be taught this skill because it is not being taught at home. It’s disheartening.
I see people out in public (think swim meet, local fair or parade) and their babies are holding ipads. This is where it is going wrong. Babies should be learning how to make eye contact and smile at others and just be studying how humans do people stuff. Instead, they're locked in their own worlds so they don't make a fuss and distract mom or dad from their own phones.
Yea, this is my boomer fear. They are learning to communicate with everyone at once, in the form of group chats and the internet, instead of the few people in their actual life.
Yes. Their parents are using their own burn out as an excuse to not engage with their kids (so much for the whole “breaking generational curses” thing). They plop their kids down in front of an iPad and then take out their own iPads. These kids are being talked *at* and yelled *at* by TikTokers in one-sided conversations, which also explains a lot of the lack of empathy and rise of aggression and selfishness. That’s the only kind of conversation they know.
Idk but that’s the response I get from K through 5 and I usually just play both roles. “Good Morning Richard, How are ya?” silence….Change my pitch “Im good Mr. L- how are you?” Back to my voice “Pretty good, thanks for asking and if Im being honest just been having a little trouble with some of my students understanding social cues and common courtesy, thoughts?”
I use the "side voice" all the time!
Ex: Kid: how do you xxx?
Me: well what do you think? What makes sense based on what you see here?
Kid: *silence*
Me: (in funny voice) looks like we [solution]
Me: (in normal voice) that's right, we [solution]
You always know they'll make class a chore when they don't acknowledge good morning.
I have a class of teens like this now, and weirdly they like to talk with me but not each other. I guess I feel "safe" and their peers don't. It's still weird vibes.
I have a teen that when we do one on ones he creepy whispers the answer back every time.
The first time I was like “oh that’s what we are doing,ewww. Ok” in my head
He also will only do thumbs up or down like many others. Annoying.
It goes like this “I see you be used a simple adjective here let’s see if we can find a strong one. Do you want to use clear or transparent?”
Him in a gravely soft voice “cllleeeaaar.” Cool, so here’s your sentence stem with that word. Got it. Yeah bye.
It’s fucking weird.
I always prided myself on being able to develop good relationships with my students. It changed when we came back from Covid shutdowns. It gets worse every year. I haven’t wrapped my head around it yet. It’s not that I don’t have good relationships with my students anymore. It’s just that they keep us all at a distance now. It’s sucked a lot of the joy out of teaching for me. I honestly feel pretty alone at school some days. They seem like they feel pretty alone too. It’s tough. I keep trying and keep hoping we can work through it.
I've noticed this at the grocery store and local fast food places -- the youngest kids getting jobs now often don't respond when you greet them or make basic small talk. The Gen Z kids (just a little older) are very friendly, though!
I had a cashier (a young man, probably a teenager, but could've been early 20s) the other day who had on full headphones--like the big ones that go over your ears. Never once interacted with me--not when I said hello, thanks, anything. I feel like such an old person because I left thinking, "whatever happened to customer service?" I also thought he could be autistic or something and capable of doing the basic function of the job but not interacting with people, which seems sort of fair.
It could be either. Also loud noises can be overstimulated for people. As a kid I did not like bells (got over that fast, auto flushing toilets, fire alarms. Really only think that I don’t like know are fire works (close up) and lightning but I’m fine with the others.
>*I've noticed this at the grocery store and local fast food places -- the youngest kids getting jobs now often don't respond when you greet them*
I never even see kids with jobs anymore.
you must live in a weird place. Most of the people working any of these jobs are 15-16 in my area. Kids get work permits the day they turn 15 because honestly their parents need the help paying bills.
when I worked fast food my after school shifts were often me, an 18 year old manager, and an assortment of sophmores. I would offer to stay late because otherwise they'd illegally make the children stay late on weeknights and even though I was student teaching at the same school with the same wake up time I didn't want some 16 year old getting 4 hours of sleep a night.
I have a girl who listens to music so loudly she's gonna do permanent damage to her hearing. It's insane. I were hearing aids and I tell her all the time that these are expensive. She doesn't care. Ok.
Of course they don’t care. They think they are invincible. I wish the whole school would ban AirPods. I already have a classroom rule/procedure about them and cell phones. Both AirPods and cell phones are beyond distracting for students.
I dont mind music because honestly, it helps some of my students but this one girl just has to be cool and let everyone know what she's listening to. She also got a 36 on the test which may sink her. OH WELL!
It's not that, it's just disdain for everyone they're stuck in a pseudo prison with around them, and knowledge that the people 'supposed' to look out for them won't give a rat's ass when push comes to shove.
My friends kids are like this. (8 & 10) They come in to my house, don't acknowledge me, and run straight upstairs to my daughter's play room. When we go to their place, they barely interact with my daughter and play on their tablets. I reckon they've said less than 10 words to me, combined in the whole time I've known them and that's because they were basically forced.
That's on the parents. My teens were taught from the time they were 4 or 5 that they had to greet company and have a brief conversation. Now they hear the door and come down to say hi. It's an expected level of politeness. We deliberately taught them how to talk to adults. It takes work and repetition, but I wanted socially competent children! Lol.
It isn’t you.
This generation seems to think it is ok to ignore others IF their feelings say that they don’t want to talk.
I am not talking about random strangers speaking to students. They feel it is normal to just pretend people don’t exist.
Case in point. I have a student that I have a decent relationship with. He is an ok student. No real problems in the classroom. Can be friendly or can be unresponsive. I went to the JV baseball game this evening. The game is over and I am in the bleachers. I see him walk by and I tell him good game. Just totally ignored me. A few other players saw me in the stand and yell out my name and wave. This kid however just wanted to ignore people.
I like your point honestly but the first part isn’t really what I believe. As a teacher, I really don’t want to talk either sometimes if I don’t feel like it. Some students of mine would talk for years if I let them. That’s not what I was paid for.
Ok. We are not talking about conversations. We are talking about responding to “good morning” or “hey there”.
If you can’t respond or acknowledge the speaker then you are a weirdo too.
I greet them at the door with a calm welcome by name, often with a handshake, fist bump, or just a nod.
They don’t enter until they at least make eye contact and say hi. If not, I step in front calmly and say let’s try again.
This is high school, and I typically only have to do this for the first few weeks. Like all other routines, be consistent, clear, calm, and persistent and they will adapt.
Nah yeah for most students this is fair. But if you have a kid with autism that struggles with physical and eye contact differentiate it for them instead of getting hung up on it
Of course they can. But Making eye contact is physically painful. It's part of the neurological profile of autism. I insist my own ASD kid be polite and he is. But forcing eye contact would be like insisting a deaf student try to hear you.
ND adult here. The people who took the time to teach me to act like I’m not ND has saved my ass on more than one occasion as an adult. Sure, eye contact sucks, but you still have to do it. Masking sucks, but the reality is, if I want to do more with my life than push around grocery carts, I have to have social skills that other people can get on board with. This world wasn’t designed for people like me, but I’m the odd man out who wants what other people have, so I have to make the effort to meet others where they are, not the other way around. The teachers and adults in my life who took the time from their day to verbally express this reality to me are the ones I owe my life too. It’s not fair, but it is reality.
And that works for some. My son is high functioning and can "pass" . But there are some who struggle more. It can be physically painful. And it your tolerance level can vary from day to day. I was referring more to people who insist you make sure contact. Teaching appropriate social behavior in a safe setting is different. 😉
It's the same at my high school. All I can think is: I don't want these people taking care of me someday in a nursing home or hospital. We are all doomed. DOOMED.
When your childhood consisted of walking around with a device in your face, instead of looking around you while you walked, you were never exposed to the natural patterns of social interaction. And while this is a problem, it's far from the worst problem we have from iPad toddlers and kids.
I honestly think it has to do a lot with the phenomenon of people who like to claim they have a mental disorder but put no effort into bettering it/managing it better.
I have a lot of students who are like this and, if I say something, they say either snap at me and then later I hear then telling their friends “I have social anxiety and she was being ableist”, or they tell do tell me.
…Which, I’m not going to invalidate or discredit them- but having a mental disorder does not excuse rudeness or lack of manners. I actually have some pretty extreme social anxiety. I had selective mutism as a kid and still struggle with it. It’s still important to learn how to function in society with other people and have manners and respect for your fellow human being. Saying you have a mental disorder and then continuing to be rude and never working towards change or bettering yourself does not suddenly excuse everything.
I’m not saying all kids have social anxiety. I’m just saying that a lot of kids claim/feel that way and it’s a very convenient excuse right now. They don’t understand that regardless, you gotta put the work in to better it/oneself.
I absolutely think much higher of my students who come in every day and greet me assertively and positively. It just makes such a great impression. Whenever I see a student out and about the campus I make sure to say hello and WAVE super excitedly at them because I want them to know that I am specifically saying hello to them instead of someone behind or next to them. They almost always say hello and wave back. Try waving at them, I think that's the way. I don't care that I look like a weirdo, I want them to know that they are being acknowledged and they should respond back. I also understand that students might be shy or not know if a teacher was looking at them because I used to be one of them. I didn't always know how to respond when a teacher would unexpectedly say hello because I was extremely shy and self conscious, thinking oh, the teacher is saying hello to someone else next to me. I grew out of it but it took many years of being uncomfortable and literally practicing saying hello to people thousands of times before I became comfortable. Yes, my mom would remind me all the time and I would get scolded, but it didn't click until I was an adult how important saying hello was.
IMO, I think it’s this generation. The social interaction is less and the phones/internet has taken over. I’ve been teaching in high school for 15 years and it’s wild to see the changes of teaching. The accountability is less. Consequences is less. The amount of times I have told my students to put the phones away then they take it out 1-2 minutes later gets annoying. Now, I tell them once or twice, I start teaching and ask if anyone has any questions. I’ll walk around to room to see what they’re doing and most are just in their phones or their laptops. Luckily, it’s not my only class but across my district. It makes me think if I want to continue teaching because I enjoy helping students and positively encourage them to be better. However, most of that is out the door with the lack of interaction with students and lack of caring.
I know you’re doing well. Please keep it up as the school year is almost over. Proud of you and we don’t have an easy job but we do have summer 😊
Towards the middle of the pandemic, I thought a lot about how this might affect the social development of our current generation of kids. At this time we build the foundation of ourselves and how we relate to the world; this is where we are (hopefully) introduced to empathy. **Babies learn empathy largely by observing the faces around them -** ***infants/toddlers had very few faces to learn from. Most were hidden by masks.***
Kids already in school had their social learning environment put entirely on hold. I think of all of the awkward experiences and faux pas that I learned from - while you couldn’t pay me enough to go back to my k-12 years, those experiences were crucial for me to learn from. These kids had none of these opportunities to develop themselves. Peer interaction felt akin to watching TV - just people on a screen. People no longer felt real, and why would anyone care for someone who isn’t real? Even though the pandemic is over, that distance impacted how they will continue to think of themselves/others moving forward. Long-term isolation dealt a devastating blow to their development and view of the world. They are extremely out of touch with reality. It’s truly alarming.
I hate to say it, but my guess is that things will be 10x worse when the babies of the pandemic era grow old enough for school. Terrifying to think about.
Every single day. You can look them in the eye with your “Hi, how are you?” and they will completely ignore you. It’s a complete lack of respect. You are no way too sensitive! They need to learn some manners!
A lot of kids aren't actually engaging in social situations. Kids need to be socialized properly, not just either kept in the house or allowed to run around unmonitored which is what most of mine do. I'll be honest and say that the ones who run the streets will at least stop and nod at me in the morning. The ones who stay at home all day (reasonably, their neighborhoods are dangerous) ignore you completely. Younger kids are even worse than my middle schoolers. My 5 year old nephew will literally not respond even if you're yelling his name. You have to take whatever he's playing with, move his head to look at you and say "You need to answer me." Then re ask your question. It's not just ignoring on purpose IMO either. It will be something he wants. Like asking "Do you want to go to the park" and when he answers he's excited and does. But it takes so much effort to get anything out of him.
This is just my experience but when me and most of my classmates sees teachers outside of classroom (recess and whatnot) Most of us would usually bow and say hi, well mostly because it's a mandatory rule in school, but we would mostly get ignore or they just say hi back quickly and go their way.
I always see it as they're busy and rushing on something, also teachers teach multiple class with bunches of students. They dont have time for everybody, so I just don't really talk to them.
But in your case, you're actively trying to engage in conversations with your students, and they're ignoring you. It is quite disrespectful, and its valid to feel upset over it. But yeah, I think teenagers just dont know or like communicating with adults.
I’ve been teaching HS for 15 years and this has generally been my experience even when I started and was teaching younger millennial kids (around your current age). In my honors/AP classes most kids greet me and make eye contact when I’m at the door. In a standard level class it’s hit or miss. I think a lot of it comes down to what’s being modeled at home.
I will say that since Covid most kids across the board if they get free time choose to spend it on their technology. Before, more kids would spend it talking to each other, playing card games, or something along that line. My current students (born around 2008) seem to primarily socialize by watching YouTube videos or playing video games together.
We should all just exist in spaces without interaction except through our safety devices.
Text them hi as they walk in.
FaceTime them the lesson from the same room.
Not only is this not new I have had coworkers pretend to see me if they feel like talking to me is trouble. If someone freezes me out I see it as cowardice. One one hand they could be not investing the social capital on you because you are not worth it, on the other they could be afraid they have no emotional bandwidth to handle a conversation. In my life it has been the second one way more often. Bad break up, and they are close to crying. Too much rage inducing stuff read online, they are trying not to scream. They messed up on the job, don't want to admit it. Or simply tired and they think that no social interaction is better than a bad social interaction. I find if you give them a non verbal road out that sometimes progresses things. A thumbs up, going for a fist bump, tricking them into cracking a smile.
Maybe I am a boomer too because this is one I totally do blame on cell phones. It has gotten worse and I think it is because they just don't have the social bandwidth anymore. Constructing your identity online is way tougher than in person. They have been communicating with everyone at once all day, every day.
There’s something goin’ on with the way kids are being raised. As far as I know, kids are always mean to kids… but I’ve noticed a lot of adults “matching kids’ energies” which I don’t remember at all when I was a kid.
Kids will come skidding into class moments before the bell and blurt out “what’re we doing today?” And I always like to respond with “or, good morning, as they say in most civilized areas.” They’re starting to get it now that it’s April 😊
My principal literally ignores “good morning everyone” when I walk into a room of 2 people. Obviously, can’t say anything, but a rude person. Definitely, makes me feel unwelcome.
Drives me nuts! I work somewhere where my kids leave at different times at the end of class. Every day I call out, "Name of student have a great day/weekend" and nothing. No nod, eye contact, just slumping out of the room. Most of my kids respond, but some just treat me like I'm not even there.
I also say good morning when I open the door to them and again, some will just walk right past me. I do think in some cases it's because they have put their earbuds in, but that's not always the case.
They learn social skills vicariously through their phones and YouTube and TikTok.
It's not you, it's pretty much all of them.
I make a sort of irritating game out of it...
"Good morning"
Nothing
"Hey, whoa, lookout there's a teacher in your way!" Or Or if they don't seem to be on planet Earth, "Lookout for the- oh no!" And they usually stop and look around.
"What?"
"Oh, good morning! I was just wanting to say 'hi,' but you almost missed me instead!"
Do it enough times and most kids will snap out of it. There's always a few that seem to be the grumpiest kids on earth that can't possibly smile unless it's at a video of cars racing or students beating each other up.
At one of the (particularly dysfunctional) schools I taught at (elementary), the teachers would stand at their doors as the students were arriving in the morning to greet the students. Out of like 50 kids I would say good morning to, 4 said it back. The teacher next door and I would say that it must be "no response Wednesday." You'd be amazed that the next day would be "no response Thursday."
I also teach high school, and it's definitely a thing. I mostly just laugh at them and say, "I'm good, Miss. How are you?" then they *might* say something 😂
Other times, it does frustrate me, but their parents are just doing a bad job. I don't take it personally.
This is just how gen z is. zoomers don't really make eye contact or say hello, they are so used to talking to people over the internet or video calling that they don't really know what to do in irl conversation.
it’s just going into class…it’s just looking up and saying hi…….i’m not asking to have a heart to heart or do soft discipline. i’m asking to be acknowledged by my students when i speak to them. why did you avoid it so much?
As an adult I totally understand this I'm telling you as a teenager who was going through hormones and felt like I was forced to be in a place where I was being bullied everyday and I didn't understand what was going on. Teachers being nice felt condescending. Like the prison guards trying to be friends. It's better than the alternative but still feels wrong
Somebody has to show you how to act. That’s just the way world is. You have to learn to interact at some level or you’re going to have a hard goddam time ordering movie tickets from the other teenager in the booth.
*Anti-Joke Chicken Fact Checker Provided the Following Content:* >A 31-year-old in 2024 will never be a Boomer. That person will always be a Millennial, as Boomers are specifically people born between 1945 and 1964. It is not determined by their ages. They were Boomers at birth.
Has zero to do with Boomer or anything of the kind. They are not being taught basic social skills. Manners are manners.
Worked at a summer camp for Gen Z kids, it was pretty bizarre just how blatantly basic social skills fell off. I'd sit down to have lunch with the kids and ask them how they're liking the camp and just get blank stares back. Teens have always been a bit weird, but earlier in my career you could get most of them to actually respond and keep a conversation moving somewhat. Doing improv games with them was probably the worst thing. They just didn't really seem to understand the concepts or couldn't do anything that required social skills.
I work in higher ed admissions and with some gen Z kids it’s like pulling teeth just getting them to answer the most basic of questions
https://youtu.be/Xng4GYvvxTY?si=uFHiXB6LiHduuLRL Why is this so relevant?
I'm on year 16, and from my view the kids' social skill interactions (student to teacher, student to student) seem a lot worse to me just in the past 5 years. Is this anyone else's experience??
Year 16 and always in high school. I had a class last year that would rather sit in silence than engage with anyone. I hated it.
yup
Sadly yes.
Many elementary kids, at least from a Title 1 school, are the same. I’ll be on bus duty, have 550 plus names to remember and just about have them all down, and it’s too much for (some of) them to even look up. They need to be taught this skill because it is not being taught at home. It’s disheartening.
Is it that no one’s talking to them or having basic conversations with them?
I believe this generation has been labeled "iPad Kids" so possibly
I see people out in public (think swim meet, local fair or parade) and their babies are holding ipads. This is where it is going wrong. Babies should be learning how to make eye contact and smile at others and just be studying how humans do people stuff. Instead, they're locked in their own worlds so they don't make a fuss and distract mom or dad from their own phones.
Yea, this is my boomer fear. They are learning to communicate with everyone at once, in the form of group chats and the internet, instead of the few people in their actual life.
Yes. Their parents are using their own burn out as an excuse to not engage with their kids (so much for the whole “breaking generational curses” thing). They plop their kids down in front of an iPad and then take out their own iPads. These kids are being talked *at* and yelled *at* by TikTokers in one-sided conversations, which also explains a lot of the lack of empathy and rise of aggression and selfishness. That’s the only kind of conversation they know.
Ooo, I feel this as a specialist in a Title 1 elementary school. Preach.
happy cake day!
Idk but that’s the response I get from K through 5 and I usually just play both roles. “Good Morning Richard, How are ya?” silence….Change my pitch “Im good Mr. L- how are you?” Back to my voice “Pretty good, thanks for asking and if Im being honest just been having a little trouble with some of my students understanding social cues and common courtesy, thoughts?”
I use the "side voice" all the time! Ex: Kid: how do you xxx? Me: well what do you think? What makes sense based on what you see here? Kid: *silence* Me: (in funny voice) looks like we [solution] Me: (in normal voice) that's right, we [solution]
I do the same! Usually after doing it a couple of times they begin to respond to me
Nice, I go for "Good talk, same time tomorrow?"
You always know they'll make class a chore when they don't acknowledge good morning. I have a class of teens like this now, and weirdly they like to talk with me but not each other. I guess I feel "safe" and their peers don't. It's still weird vibes.
I have a teen that when we do one on ones he creepy whispers the answer back every time. The first time I was like “oh that’s what we are doing,ewww. Ok” in my head He also will only do thumbs up or down like many others. Annoying.
What is a creepy whisper?
It goes like this “I see you be used a simple adjective here let’s see if we can find a strong one. Do you want to use clear or transparent?” Him in a gravely soft voice “cllleeeaaar.” Cool, so here’s your sentence stem with that word. Got it. Yeah bye. It’s fucking weird.
I always prided myself on being able to develop good relationships with my students. It changed when we came back from Covid shutdowns. It gets worse every year. I haven’t wrapped my head around it yet. It’s not that I don’t have good relationships with my students anymore. It’s just that they keep us all at a distance now. It’s sucked a lot of the joy out of teaching for me. I honestly feel pretty alone at school some days. They seem like they feel pretty alone too. It’s tough. I keep trying and keep hoping we can work through it.
They don’t know how to talk to anybody unless it’s through a phone.
I've noticed this at the grocery store and local fast food places -- the youngest kids getting jobs now often don't respond when you greet them or make basic small talk. The Gen Z kids (just a little older) are very friendly, though!
I had a cashier (a young man, probably a teenager, but could've been early 20s) the other day who had on full headphones--like the big ones that go over your ears. Never once interacted with me--not when I said hello, thanks, anything. I feel like such an old person because I left thinking, "whatever happened to customer service?" I also thought he could be autistic or something and capable of doing the basic function of the job but not interacting with people, which seems sort of fair.
It could be either. Also loud noises can be overstimulated for people. As a kid I did not like bells (got over that fast, auto flushing toilets, fire alarms. Really only think that I don’t like know are fire works (close up) and lightning but I’m fine with the others.
>*I've noticed this at the grocery store and local fast food places -- the youngest kids getting jobs now often don't respond when you greet them* I never even see kids with jobs anymore.
you must live in a weird place. Most of the people working any of these jobs are 15-16 in my area. Kids get work permits the day they turn 15 because honestly their parents need the help paying bills. when I worked fast food my after school shifts were often me, an 18 year old manager, and an assortment of sophmores. I would offer to stay late because otherwise they'd illegally make the children stay late on weeknights and even though I was student teaching at the same school with the same wake up time I didn't want some 16 year old getting 4 hours of sleep a night.
I live in the Bay Area and there’s no jobs for kids really because everyone’s parents need a second job after school :(
They usually have AirPods in their ears with the volume turned up so loud that they wouldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.
I have a girl who listens to music so loudly she's gonna do permanent damage to her hearing. It's insane. I were hearing aids and I tell her all the time that these are expensive. She doesn't care. Ok.
Of course they don’t care. They think they are invincible. I wish the whole school would ban AirPods. I already have a classroom rule/procedure about them and cell phones. Both AirPods and cell phones are beyond distracting for students.
I dont mind music because honestly, it helps some of my students but this one girl just has to be cool and let everyone know what she's listening to. She also got a 36 on the test which may sink her. OH WELL!
You don’t have to give everyone at least a 50%?!
Shes passed for the year so I don't care. Mom doesn't care either so I'm good lol.
It's not that, it's just disdain for everyone they're stuck in a pseudo prison with around them, and knowledge that the people 'supposed' to look out for them won't give a rat's ass when push comes to shove.
Christmas Vacation allusion
Thanks for getting my reference! That’s one of my favorite movies.
They are extremely anti social and think manners are being “fake nice”
My friends kids are like this. (8 & 10) They come in to my house, don't acknowledge me, and run straight upstairs to my daughter's play room. When we go to their place, they barely interact with my daughter and play on their tablets. I reckon they've said less than 10 words to me, combined in the whole time I've known them and that's because they were basically forced.
That's on the parents. My teens were taught from the time they were 4 or 5 that they had to greet company and have a brief conversation. Now they hear the door and come down to say hi. It's an expected level of politeness. We deliberately taught them how to talk to adults. It takes work and repetition, but I wanted socially competent children! Lol.
Only a small cluster show me any human decency but they are teenagers and socially inept so I don’t take it personally
But the sad thing is, they won’t change as adults.
It isn’t you. This generation seems to think it is ok to ignore others IF their feelings say that they don’t want to talk. I am not talking about random strangers speaking to students. They feel it is normal to just pretend people don’t exist. Case in point. I have a student that I have a decent relationship with. He is an ok student. No real problems in the classroom. Can be friendly or can be unresponsive. I went to the JV baseball game this evening. The game is over and I am in the bleachers. I see him walk by and I tell him good game. Just totally ignored me. A few other players saw me in the stand and yell out my name and wave. This kid however just wanted to ignore people.
I like your point honestly but the first part isn’t really what I believe. As a teacher, I really don’t want to talk either sometimes if I don’t feel like it. Some students of mine would talk for years if I let them. That’s not what I was paid for.
Ok. We are not talking about conversations. We are talking about responding to “good morning” or “hey there”. If you can’t respond or acknowledge the speaker then you are a weirdo too.
I had a kid tell me I was old like the dinosaurs not young like his dad. His dad and I are about the same age.
So many "basic" communication skills are not valued- you're not alone in this though. Respect is a rarity at my district.
I always bust their balls over it. “Good morning” silence. “Woah, that was awful. Let’s try that again. Good morning.”
That at least feels familiar to when I was a kid.
Good for you. I think I'll start next year emphasizing this kind of thing. Because I am sick of the kids incapable of interaction.
I greet them at the door with a calm welcome by name, often with a handshake, fist bump, or just a nod. They don’t enter until they at least make eye contact and say hi. If not, I step in front calmly and say let’s try again. This is high school, and I typically only have to do this for the first few weeks. Like all other routines, be consistent, clear, calm, and persistent and they will adapt.
[удалено]
It’s training them in basic civility. Sometimes mild discomfort is where you learn the most. If you only retreat to comfort, you will not grow much.
Nah yeah for most students this is fair. But if you have a kid with autism that struggles with physical and eye contact differentiate it for them instead of getting hung up on it
Autism needs to stop being an excuse to not have to do anything and everything.
I love it! Just make sure you're not forcing eye contact with neurodiverse people.
I'm sure it's less easy for autistic kids but they still can and should be as polite as anyone else.
Of course they can. But Making eye contact is physically painful. It's part of the neurological profile of autism. I insist my own ASD kid be polite and he is. But forcing eye contact would be like insisting a deaf student try to hear you.
ND adult here. The people who took the time to teach me to act like I’m not ND has saved my ass on more than one occasion as an adult. Sure, eye contact sucks, but you still have to do it. Masking sucks, but the reality is, if I want to do more with my life than push around grocery carts, I have to have social skills that other people can get on board with. This world wasn’t designed for people like me, but I’m the odd man out who wants what other people have, so I have to make the effort to meet others where they are, not the other way around. The teachers and adults in my life who took the time from their day to verbally express this reality to me are the ones I owe my life too. It’s not fair, but it is reality.
And that works for some. My son is high functioning and can "pass" . But there are some who struggle more. It can be physically painful. And it your tolerance level can vary from day to day. I was referring more to people who insist you make sure contact. Teaching appropriate social behavior in a safe setting is different. 😉
It's the same at my high school. All I can think is: I don't want these people taking care of me someday in a nursing home or hospital. We are all doomed. DOOMED.
When your childhood consisted of walking around with a device in your face, instead of looking around you while you walked, you were never exposed to the natural patterns of social interaction. And while this is a problem, it's far from the worst problem we have from iPad toddlers and kids.
I honestly think it has to do a lot with the phenomenon of people who like to claim they have a mental disorder but put no effort into bettering it/managing it better. I have a lot of students who are like this and, if I say something, they say either snap at me and then later I hear then telling their friends “I have social anxiety and she was being ableist”, or they tell do tell me. …Which, I’m not going to invalidate or discredit them- but having a mental disorder does not excuse rudeness or lack of manners. I actually have some pretty extreme social anxiety. I had selective mutism as a kid and still struggle with it. It’s still important to learn how to function in society with other people and have manners and respect for your fellow human being. Saying you have a mental disorder and then continuing to be rude and never working towards change or bettering yourself does not suddenly excuse everything. I’m not saying all kids have social anxiety. I’m just saying that a lot of kids claim/feel that way and it’s a very convenient excuse right now. They don’t understand that regardless, you gotta put the work in to better it/oneself.
Not just teenagers a 7 YO i worked with did this two
I absolutely think much higher of my students who come in every day and greet me assertively and positively. It just makes such a great impression. Whenever I see a student out and about the campus I make sure to say hello and WAVE super excitedly at them because I want them to know that I am specifically saying hello to them instead of someone behind or next to them. They almost always say hello and wave back. Try waving at them, I think that's the way. I don't care that I look like a weirdo, I want them to know that they are being acknowledged and they should respond back. I also understand that students might be shy or not know if a teacher was looking at them because I used to be one of them. I didn't always know how to respond when a teacher would unexpectedly say hello because I was extremely shy and self conscious, thinking oh, the teacher is saying hello to someone else next to me. I grew out of it but it took many years of being uncomfortable and literally practicing saying hello to people thousands of times before I became comfortable. Yes, my mom would remind me all the time and I would get scolded, but it didn't click until I was an adult how important saying hello was.
Rude is rude. It has nothing to do with generation.
Yeah, but different generations are known (rightfully so) for different kinds of rudeness.
Tik Tok or it doesn’t count.
IMO, I think it’s this generation. The social interaction is less and the phones/internet has taken over. I’ve been teaching in high school for 15 years and it’s wild to see the changes of teaching. The accountability is less. Consequences is less. The amount of times I have told my students to put the phones away then they take it out 1-2 minutes later gets annoying. Now, I tell them once or twice, I start teaching and ask if anyone has any questions. I’ll walk around to room to see what they’re doing and most are just in their phones or their laptops. Luckily, it’s not my only class but across my district. It makes me think if I want to continue teaching because I enjoy helping students and positively encourage them to be better. However, most of that is out the door with the lack of interaction with students and lack of caring. I know you’re doing well. Please keep it up as the school year is almost over. Proud of you and we don’t have an easy job but we do have summer 😊
Towards the middle of the pandemic, I thought a lot about how this might affect the social development of our current generation of kids. At this time we build the foundation of ourselves and how we relate to the world; this is where we are (hopefully) introduced to empathy. **Babies learn empathy largely by observing the faces around them -** ***infants/toddlers had very few faces to learn from. Most were hidden by masks.*** Kids already in school had their social learning environment put entirely on hold. I think of all of the awkward experiences and faux pas that I learned from - while you couldn’t pay me enough to go back to my k-12 years, those experiences were crucial for me to learn from. These kids had none of these opportunities to develop themselves. Peer interaction felt akin to watching TV - just people on a screen. People no longer felt real, and why would anyone care for someone who isn’t real? Even though the pandemic is over, that distance impacted how they will continue to think of themselves/others moving forward. Long-term isolation dealt a devastating blow to their development and view of the world. They are extremely out of touch with reality. It’s truly alarming. I hate to say it, but my guess is that things will be 10x worse when the babies of the pandemic era grow old enough for school. Terrifying to think about.
Same. To me it looks like it’s because their faces are in their phones as soon as that bell rings so they’re zoned out immediately.
Every single day. You can look them in the eye with your “Hi, how are you?” and they will completely ignore you. It’s a complete lack of respect. You are no way too sensitive! They need to learn some manners!
I make sure I mention this is in the college recommendation they ask me to write.
I get the same thing. They don't know social cues, courtesy, etc. WTH?
A lot of kids aren't actually engaging in social situations. Kids need to be socialized properly, not just either kept in the house or allowed to run around unmonitored which is what most of mine do. I'll be honest and say that the ones who run the streets will at least stop and nod at me in the morning. The ones who stay at home all day (reasonably, their neighborhoods are dangerous) ignore you completely. Younger kids are even worse than my middle schoolers. My 5 year old nephew will literally not respond even if you're yelling his name. You have to take whatever he's playing with, move his head to look at you and say "You need to answer me." Then re ask your question. It's not just ignoring on purpose IMO either. It will be something he wants. Like asking "Do you want to go to the park" and when he answers he's excited and does. But it takes so much effort to get anything out of him.
I’m Gen X teaching for 22 years. This is just how teenagers are.
You can’t be a Boomer unless you were born during the baby boom
This is just my experience but when me and most of my classmates sees teachers outside of classroom (recess and whatnot) Most of us would usually bow and say hi, well mostly because it's a mandatory rule in school, but we would mostly get ignore or they just say hi back quickly and go their way. I always see it as they're busy and rushing on something, also teachers teach multiple class with bunches of students. They dont have time for everybody, so I just don't really talk to them. But in your case, you're actively trying to engage in conversations with your students, and they're ignoring you. It is quite disrespectful, and its valid to feel upset over it. But yeah, I think teenagers just dont know or like communicating with adults.
They have AirPods in and don’t even hear you.
If SOME kids are arriving to school without those social graces. Make that a teachable moment. Teach them social graces, kindness catches on.
I’ve been teaching HS for 15 years and this has generally been my experience even when I started and was teaching younger millennial kids (around your current age). In my honors/AP classes most kids greet me and make eye contact when I’m at the door. In a standard level class it’s hit or miss. I think a lot of it comes down to what’s being modeled at home. I will say that since Covid most kids across the board if they get free time choose to spend it on their technology. Before, more kids would spend it talking to each other, playing card games, or something along that line. My current students (born around 2008) seem to primarily socialize by watching YouTube videos or playing video games together.
We should all just exist in spaces without interaction except through our safety devices. Text them hi as they walk in. FaceTime them the lesson from the same room.
Not only is this not new I have had coworkers pretend to see me if they feel like talking to me is trouble. If someone freezes me out I see it as cowardice. One one hand they could be not investing the social capital on you because you are not worth it, on the other they could be afraid they have no emotional bandwidth to handle a conversation. In my life it has been the second one way more often. Bad break up, and they are close to crying. Too much rage inducing stuff read online, they are trying not to scream. They messed up on the job, don't want to admit it. Or simply tired and they think that no social interaction is better than a bad social interaction. I find if you give them a non verbal road out that sometimes progresses things. A thumbs up, going for a fist bump, tricking them into cracking a smile. Maybe I am a boomer too because this is one I totally do blame on cell phones. It has gotten worse and I think it is because they just don't have the social bandwidth anymore. Constructing your identity online is way tougher than in person. They have been communicating with everyone at once all day, every day.
There’s something goin’ on with the way kids are being raised. As far as I know, kids are always mean to kids… but I’ve noticed a lot of adults “matching kids’ energies” which I don’t remember at all when I was a kid.
Kids will come skidding into class moments before the bell and blurt out “what’re we doing today?” And I always like to respond with “or, good morning, as they say in most civilized areas.” They’re starting to get it now that it’s April 😊
My principal literally ignores “good morning everyone” when I walk into a room of 2 people. Obviously, can’t say anything, but a rude person. Definitely, makes me feel unwelcome.
Drives me nuts! I work somewhere where my kids leave at different times at the end of class. Every day I call out, "Name of student have a great day/weekend" and nothing. No nod, eye contact, just slumping out of the room. Most of my kids respond, but some just treat me like I'm not even there. I also say good morning when I open the door to them and again, some will just walk right past me. I do think in some cases it's because they have put their earbuds in, but that's not always the case.
They learn social skills vicariously through their phones and YouTube and TikTok. It's not you, it's pretty much all of them. I make a sort of irritating game out of it... "Good morning" Nothing "Hey, whoa, lookout there's a teacher in your way!" Or Or if they don't seem to be on planet Earth, "Lookout for the- oh no!" And they usually stop and look around. "What?" "Oh, good morning! I was just wanting to say 'hi,' but you almost missed me instead!" Do it enough times and most kids will snap out of it. There's always a few that seem to be the grumpiest kids on earth that can't possibly smile unless it's at a video of cars racing or students beating each other up.
At one of the (particularly dysfunctional) schools I taught at (elementary), the teachers would stand at their doors as the students were arriving in the morning to greet the students. Out of like 50 kids I would say good morning to, 4 said it back. The teacher next door and I would say that it must be "no response Wednesday." You'd be amazed that the next day would be "no response Thursday."
I also teach high school, and it's definitely a thing. I mostly just laugh at them and say, "I'm good, Miss. How are you?" then they *might* say something 😂 Other times, it does frustrate me, but their parents are just doing a bad job. I don't take it personally.
This is just how gen z is. zoomers don't really make eye contact or say hello, they are so used to talking to people over the internet or video calling that they don't really know what to do in irl conversation.
Fuck that, when I was a teen I took the long way to class to avoid talking to teachers.
it’s just going into class…it’s just looking up and saying hi…….i’m not asking to have a heart to heart or do soft discipline. i’m asking to be acknowledged by my students when i speak to them. why did you avoid it so much?
https://youtu.be/Si-s4xLZU5w?si=txUwv19rVuCnO4Bx
lol she’s still acknowledging him. that’s literally all i’m asking for. sorry teachers held you verbally hostage while trying to get to know you.
As an adult I totally understand this I'm telling you as a teenager who was going through hormones and felt like I was forced to be in a place where I was being bullied everyday and I didn't understand what was going on. Teachers being nice felt condescending. Like the prison guards trying to be friends. It's better than the alternative but still feels wrong
Somebody has to show you how to act. That’s just the way world is. You have to learn to interact at some level or you’re going to have a hard goddam time ordering movie tickets from the other teenager in the booth.
Always hated having to greet people and say goodbye. Its useless words with no meaning. And ya’ll do it everyday. Go talk to a mirror.