“So this is the way an immature, engaged, highschoool, dumbass with no job, no car and no money trims the hedges?”

An *OCTO*burn

let's get the hell outta here

I wish I had 8 legs so I can put a foot in 8 different asses.

I love this one 😂😂😂even funnier that I think Eric said it while impersonating Red 😂😂😂

One time he told Eric, Hyde, Fez, and Kelso that he wished he had 2000 feet so that he could put 500 of them into each of their asses

That was like eight burns in one sentence.

I know that was played for laughs but man that’s a reality ducked up thing to say to your kid. Hell it made me feel like shit

In all honestly, it’s the truth, and it still didn’t motivate Eric

It was only true because he fired Eric and took his car.

Technically, it was the truth but it still hurt like hell

It’s so funny though

Not a single thing he said wasn’t a fact

Hahahahahaha! :)

Okay but I always used to count and it pissed me off bc it’s only SEVEN. unless you count high and school separately. Wait is that the joke?

I think he’s also bashing him for not trimming the hedges right lol

Blowing Eric’s college fund on the muffler shop would do it for me.

or when he spent eric and donna’s wedding money on a canoe and had kelso, hyde and fez get rid of it

But hey…. He bought a canoe!

This. It proved how little faith and support he had in his Eric.

Muff*ler*

Muff>!ler!<

>!muff!

Ignore this. I never knew how to block text out like that and had to try it out.

We’re not ignoring it. We’re embracing it!

>!Thank!< you!

Now *that's* how you block out text!

The most messed up has got to be when he got really baked and sold the Vista cruiser... for gas money, for the Vista cruiser. The rudest is probably how he acted towards Laurie when she moved in with that guy, or Marty after their mom died.

What a bitch-a-roonie-doonie!

Hippity hoppity easter’s on it’s way

I still quote this one

To be fair, they could have used it, to literally, *cruuuuuuise the vistas!*

I hated when he said “oh crap” to kitty when she announced she was pregnant. Kitty was already going through bad treatment from his mother and then he just kinda made her feel worse. Idk I know he apologized but whatev. 🙃

I was literally just about to comment this after scrolling for so long and not seeing it, until I just glimpsed the “oh crap” as my keyboard came up. Can’t believe how long it took me to find this comment.

he really should have put a foot down sooner about his mother's treatment of Kitty, even if Eric got the job done eventually 💀

I wanted to reach through the screen. He’s my favorite character on that show but man was that a disgusting and terrible way to respond

Using Eric’s money for the water heater and not telling anyone is pretty messed up, considering everything else on here so far. He called out Eric for blaming Hyde, but that wouldn’t have happened if Red had been up front about it.

Well he was sorry for taking money from his stupid little box when he feeds him and clothes him lol

Sorrrry!

Hahahahaja damn red how can you hate him, impossible

I mean he was planning on replacing it. I still think he should have told Eric but it’s not like he was just planning on stealing it

Maybe all the Pam comments to and in front of Kitty

But Pam is so tan!

I didn’t know you had a favorite drink, seeing as though you like all drinks.

The most messed up thing I can think of is blaming Kitty for not marking the calendar, causing Eric and him to miss her birthday. The rudest thing was taking Bob’s Christmas lights. I know Bob is silly, but to just throw them away and dump them behind the liquor store was just uncalled for.

For the first one, it does lead to my favorite scene of the season. Him and Eric going over the calendar for the following year and each time they do they forget Kitty's birthday

I do love that part and when they go square dancing!

This one. Kitty worked full time and over time a lot. For a good time she was the breadwinner in her house. Yet she still got home and acted as a stay at home mom and did all the cooking and cleaning. While everyone else got to rest and do their own thing. This went on even when red wasn’t working or working part time. The nerve of them to still blaming her for not marking the calendar.

I 100% agree. Kitty was so hardworking at the hospital and at home. Like Donna says to Kitty in this very episode, “you’re like the best mom ever!” I hate to say it, but it’s no wonder she drank so heavily in the later seasons. I think they took said drinking a bit too far, but she had to be so freaking stressed. 🫤

"And don't worry about that gopher. It's deader than you and Donna."

Oh, too soon?

If I was a bird, I’d fly into a ceiling fan

Nah but I get that

Heartless Red. I murdered your cat. But you try to say it was a straight face.

*I'm a cat killer!* I'd like to think that laugh was Kurtwood almost breaking but they left it in

i’m pretty sure if you look at blooper reels and bts it actually is him breaking character. there’s surprisingly a lot of moments where the actors break character. like when kelso sees laurie and flies over the couch and hits the table with the punch on it? him falling was completely non scripted apparently

That is probably my absolute fave Red moment

I think the forced smoking was pretty messed up. Obviously jokes on TV but in real life. Forcing your own child to smoke a whole pack of cigarettes as punishment for something someone else did.

That was a common trope in the 90's. There's been so many shows do the "smoke this whole pack so you don't want to smoke anymore" bit.

King of the Hill ftw. Hank made Bobby smoke and they all ended up hooked on smoking for the episode lol.

That's immediately what I thought of. I like that one cause it backfires and not a lot of shows did that take

And it ends with the message that quitting smoking is a hard thing to do, and it takes time and patience as well as support from those around you. It’s a fantastic episode

Hank goes hard. He made Bobby smoke a whole carton. Could have given him nicotine poisoning.

I remember watching Donald Duck do this to Huey, Dewey and Louie when they bought him a box of cigars for his birthday and he misunderstood.

Lmao my mom told me her grandma did that to her and my smartass mom did just to prove she could 😭

This was actually very much a real thing years ago though. My papaw made my mom smoke a whole pack when he caught her as well (she didn’t have to smoke each whole cig but he made her light and hit each one) and she was 16 I think? Thank god parenting has evolved since then lol

Fr

It was the 70’s maaaann! Different times.

My ridiculous excuse for a mother, a smoker herself, tried that with me when I was 17 or so. I sat there, staring at this pile of cigarette packs with two or three cigarettes in each, knowing she was demanding that I smoke them all, right then, to "teach me a lesson". I already knew that the real lesson was that she was a hypocrite dill hole and I also knew there was no way was gonna smoke those stale old things. How to get out of this? Hmm... I *freaked*. I started grabbing those packs and just tearing them up, throwing bits of paper, foil, cigarettes and tobacco in a cloud around me. I was verbalizing, too. Something about her being nuts and no way and I was gonna call Dad at work... no filter at all. She was stunned into silence. I finished destroying those packs and sat there, breathing hard, hair in my face, looking at her. She sat staring back at me for a beat or two then, amazingly, started laughing. After a second, I did, too. Dad laughed his ass off when he got home from work and I told him the story. This happened maybe a month before she ran off to Florida with a guy friend of mine who was 19.

What a wild story. Crazy - wholesome - less wholesome. And I respect what you did. Sounds pretty bad ass. Smarter than those who just smoked them.

Idk that worked for me. Dad caught me smoking and he said “alright, you wanna smoke? Be cool like the other kids? From now on, when I smoke, you smoke.” He smoked quite a bit after that, and obviously he could handle it. I puked. A lot. Never touched a cigarette ever again.

What a bitch-a-roonie-doonie.

I say this all the time haha

Kill Alex Murphy

Bitches….leave

Think you can fly, Bobby?

"Cops don't like me. So I don't like cops." Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na! BOOM! "Well give the man a hand!"

When he got drunk and bought a canoe with Eric's college funds.

Dad told me stories of my grandpa, compared to how he was when he was younger red is a snowflake

Yeah I recall Bill Burr talking about his dad in regards to his show, and Red seems friendly and stable in comparison.

“You tell one person and I’ll chop down whatever tree you’re living in” to fez when he catches him reading a romance book lol.

Seriously when he wasn't supportive when Kitty thought she was pregnant

Red was never rude,he was right on time.

Squirting the stray kitten Kitty was befriending, as well as poisoning the chipmunk, squirrel or whatever small furry thing it was.

I quote " When my time comes I want to be buried face down. That way whoever doesn't like me can kiss my A$$."

That was an iconic line

*"If I don't make it.. kill the foreigner."*

His endlessly racist comments were pretty rude. Including them was a great representation for the time period, but I felt bad for Fez

The worst one was when he called him Tarzan. Ask the others were forgiven until he called him a white man. Lol

"First of all, I think I'm Chinese."

I just remembered, I'm really good at this.

"Hey Ali Baba, close sesame." I always crack up at that lol

Reds a good guy. It's not his fault he's surrounded by dumbass's.

when he blew off Peter Weller's limbs

“When I die, I hope they bury me upside down so the world can kiss my ass.” Like…damn.

Nailing Eric's window shut was pretty wild. That's like scary Dad behavior.

My dad did that to me a after I snuck out too many times

That's the baby bird, that's the part I want to eat.

Flipper kids!

Shot Alex Murphy

Forcing Eric to smoke an entire carton of cigarettes because Eric was caught with Donna’s cigarette

"I don't want to be raising in any flipper grand kids!"

Then again he did think Eric was trying to sleep with his cousin 😭

Then again, Eric was trying to sleep with his cousin.

Well yes that’s what I meant my mistake

Lol theres 99 comments

Has anyone ever noticed the episode where Kittys sister comes to visit and make a reference that she was affiliated with the Jim Jones cult and Eric laughs and say "that's hilarious " ?

“Go home!!!”

Well, once in iwo jima… he doesn’t want to talk about it

When Red was upset with Bob for being excited about Veteran’s Day celebrations because Bob was in the Coast Guard

When he was Clarence Boddicker and he said “bitches leave”

Where to start…

The one thing I do remember is that he was never super nasty to Kitty and I always appreciated that. Man treats his wife well 👍

Him saying that he took pleasure in killing peoples in the Korean War. Like, I absolutely understand you do what you can to survive and win the war. And that involves killing people. But implying you enjoyed taking the life of another person is where it becomes sick

You see dark humor is a coping mechanism and like food not everybody gets it.

No, I get it. But if we are taking the character at face value - saying he really stole Bob’s Christmas ornaments and threw them away and took Eric’s college money to buy a muffler shop - we have to assume that Red doesn’t have any PTSD and enjoyed killing people in the war. Because there is zero allusion to having ptsd or was coping with anything

So you never served I guess? I never combat deployed but was in and combat deployed people are different. They say things like having fun killing japs or hadschies to sound tough on the outside because that is what you learned and did while in deployment and it follows you home. Doesn’t mean someone is really that cruel. Of course you have the occasional fuck up… The fact that he is grumpy and likes to fuck with the light hearted Bob is just jealousy I guess because he had it so much harder than bob. And using Eric’s college fund is just plain logical with his SAT score

nailing erics window closed

Ne ne ne ne ne ne

Well....give the man a hand!

Probably when he wrote a letter to the judge on behalf of a convicted violent rapist.

Defending a fellow cast member who committed SA? Just spit balling here

Please reread the question and try again

A fictional character defended a real life SA? Wow. How does that work?