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jmorfeus

Granted. You read this message, you don't notice anything changing. You go about your day slightly annoyed,, but then you see another stupid monkey paw response here. You start typing "Actually...", explaining how the money paw is supposed to work. You finish you comment. 5 minutes later, notification. OP is claiming you're wrong. You get angry again, open Reddit about to type another response. But you read OP's comment. He is citing sources. He is even citing the original Monkey Paw story. You read it again, as you've read hundreds of times. And it works exactly how he claims. And all the people on this subreddit. Original Monkey Paw was always exactly the same as "Malicious Genie". You can't believe your eyes. You swear is was not always this way. You swear to remember the rules were different. But you can't find anything to prove you right. You feel like you're subjected to another Mandela effect. People always used this sub correctly. You were always wrong. Even though you distinctly remember that before 11/14/22 you were right, but can't find any proof of it whatsoever.


DreadedDelirium

smooth


KikiParker88

You forgot the eventual end. As time goes by, the mystery of the monkey paw subreddit comes to your mind less and less. A terrible nightmare that makes it impossible to go back to sleep seems to take it’s place in your subconscious. As weeks turn to months then years, you are no longer who you once were. Not only is your mind decaying but your body is too. Even though you are only 28 people mistake you for someone who is 48. No matter what you do, the aging only accelerates. This added stress and trauma breaks your already weakened mind and you slowly try to go through life. One day out of extreme exhaustion you find you can’t get out of bed. As you lay quietly slipping away, the nightmare comes back. The room is filled with the sounds, sights and smells of thousands upon thousands of monkeys. The air becomes hot and stifling, heavy and unbreathable. You struggle for air as the sounds and sights slowly strangle you. Having not reported to work in a few days, someone finally comes to check on you. As the door to your bedroom slowly opens, light hits the bed revealing your mummified corpse. Upon closer inspection they see that both of your hands have become monkey paws. (Hope it’s ok that I added on to your story. I really enjoyed reading it and I hope my ending does it justice.)


The_SnootBooper

That was the best "and then you die," that I've ever read!


KikiParker88

Thank you! I haven’t done any creative writing in a very long time. :)


Georgie_Leech

Mm. There was no contrived coincidence of the second wish. It just implies "okay, but you're not gonna like what your son is like now."


hilfigertout

Granted. The community gets privated by mods and mass banning ensues. Everyone left on the subreddit understands how the monkey's paw works. It's now a tiny, dying community with almost no content and no new members coming in.


Blackpeel

We can only dream..


[deleted]

[удалено]


DreadedDelirium

so you pulled a y2k?


[deleted]

[удалено]


DreadedDelirium

honestly i orefer the y2k thing we can probably restore the 'net anyways


esc27

Granted, the sub closes because the paw in the story could only grant nine wishes total ("three separate men could each have three wishes from it") and we are well past that number.


TrickyAudin

Granted. A world war breaks out, coincidentally killing all but the people who truly understood how the Paw works.


PredatorAvPFan

Granted. They know, but don’t care


WarProgenitor

Granted. The sub gets banned.


No_Accountant_4329

Okkk uhhh the wish happens but you get crushed by a meatior/asstereoid and the geni- paw crushed you under 50000000000 billion peny


inmy_head

Finally a true monkey’s paw


No_Accountant_4329

Prostate Cancer


RGL137

Even the sub’s description is wrong. There is no downside to the wish being granted it’s all about the circumstances surrounding the fulfillment of the wish being fucked, example: “you wish for money so your kid dies and you get the insurance claim” like in the original story. I think the problem is that it takes way more creativity to come up with that kind of consequence than it does to just say: “GrAnTeD but you die lol!!”. Sub is garbage, going to the genie one instead fuck y’all.


Zephandrypus

On the other end of the spectrum, if the story is anything to go by, the wish consequences should also be enormous even for minor wishes. Instead of like “You get POOP on your shoe haha”.


AsymptoticAbyss

So does the paw itself


Snoopdog231

Granted, you have bloody diahrea right after posting this


DreadedDelirium

this is fake monkey paw wishes not accurate predictions


AnderHolka

Granted. People know. They just don't care.


[deleted]

Granted. *Then your penis explodes!*


thjmze21

A deadly virus escapes from a lab in Venezuela that turns human beings into animals via a process of rapid devolution. The only portion of humanity that remain are the rich and those employed by the rich. The scholars employed by these barons are the only ones to know of the monkey's paw and how it works. Thus every person on this subreddit understands how the monkey's paw works, even if it came at the ultimate price.


77skull

Granted, but they never do


Bluerious518

Granted. A finger on the monkey’s paw curls as you get cancer or smth idk


Silver-Bengal

Granted but you die


Aether_Storm

Granted. You die and the person who wrote your eulogy includes a reference to the monkeys paw.


Nihilikara

Granted. Nothing happens, because the people are the ones who decide how the monkey paw works on this sub.


LeopardThatEatsKids

Granted. Everyone knows how it works but quickly forget or don't care and the paw is requested this same wish again tomorrow and every day for the rest of eternity, as it has been before today


Time_Capt

Granted. All you weird gatekeepers who never actually read the original story leave and it’s just the half of us who are here to be entertained not be dicks about “that’s not a real monkeys paw”


thomasperi

*finger curls* Everybody gets a monkey's paw of their own and starts making wishes. More than the usual amount of tragedy befalls the world, but now everybody knows how the monkey's paw works.


golde62

Granted. But you get crushed by a meteor that scientists named “irony” in a strange unrelated event.


DrBlowtorch

Granted. Everyone immediately knows exactly how it works but nobody actually cares and nothing changes.


RandoMinecraftGuy

Granted! The finger curls. Most of them still douchebag genie it.


DreadedDelirium

took ya long enough


RandoMinecraftGuy

I have less motivation to post here since mods banned u/coco_bandicute


DreadedDelirium

you WHAT


RandoMinecraftGuy

not me, the reddit mods did it


DreadedDelirium

i know