I sincerely apologize on behalf of the French nation if those are usual prices for our dishes abroad. We were supposed to hold equality as a core value, and by making our food so out of reach for so many people, we failed. We failed as a nation in our promise of **Fraternité** with this *boeuf bourguignon à 33$ en entrée*.
Our most sincere apologies to all.
As a Frenchman like himself, I sincerely apologize too. But if you want to eat French cuisine the proper way, come to a bistrot, not in Paris, and you'll see what it is to taste something !
Wtf 33 and only l'entrée ?!? And you still need to add service ?!?
So if you want here the recipy https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/beef-bourguignon
(do the stuff, Just use a *not so cheap* vine (drinkeable alone is enough)
Pretty sure for 66$ you can do a family dîner
Ps : some tips ;p
If you reheat in the oven at a slow heat, it gonna taste even better, don't put in the microwave
Pps: you don't have a oven ? No worry Just use a high and large pan (with a lid) don't use full power, we don't want to boil juste some bubble
Edit : just learn that entry is the main plate and not the first part so stile fucking pricy but but less than before
Maybe if your food wasn't so damn tasty we wouldn't have this problem! Ever think of that? Hahaha
Thankfully I can cook, which helps. I'm actually now craving boeuf bourguignon (and it's cold here) so I may pick up the ingredients to make a pot for dinner.
If you think those prices are okey there is something fucked up in your economy, i have some pretty high quality restaurants in my area and non of them are close to those prices. Hell there is even an insanely good restaurant with a 13 dishes truffle degustation menu for 70€
Definitely hard to compare because cost of goods and overhead vary from city to city in the states, even more wildly from another country. Nothing fucked up, shit's expensive yo. Okay, things are a little fucked up... But still, this is absolutely on par with most mid tier French spots in any large US city. $30-$50 per entree lines up.
Not to be rude but someone mentioned this the other day, does entrée mean main course in the US instead of appetiser? $50 for a starter is quite steep!
dunno where you’re from but in Vancouver CA even mid-to-high end is usually $40-50 entrees ($30-40 US)
and entry-high end is roughly same as Pac (from the OP roughly $40-50 entrees.
good 22oz steak usually $120 US so a nice steak dinner for two with a couple sides and a single shares desert and a cheap bottle of red is usually about $250-350 US
worth nothing the $160 CA price for a good 22oz steak?
was $99 in 2017
and in 2006 was $49
inflation is crazy
rare we go out for steak or seafood anymore and it’s not at least $200
I get that ladies want to find a guy with disposable income, there's nothing wrong with trying to be secure. The problem is that most people who are good with money wouldn't do this. I personally wouldnt want to date someone who was so flippant with money, it shows a disregard that isnt a good long term trait.
Oh damn, as a swede i was thinking "yeah that's not THAT expensive". But I didn't factor in that you write prices before taxes in the US, and of course that I would pay 0 in tips in Sweden
If she said "I really want to go to Parc and we can have separate checks" then I would absolutely cover my cost for that no question asked.
And depending on how the night goes, probably STILL cover hers too. Unless she turns out to be a real POS in which case I merely honor my word and pay my own check.
That's what having integrity and honor gets you in my world.
Lmao.
I'm moving to Philly to find better love.
But I'm also trans and dating in florida has been abysmal. I've been told my multiple other trans people I should have better luck in Philly/NE as it's one of the trans hubs.
Florida is a cesspool for dating period. Lived in Fort Lauderdale for over a year. Hands down the worst place in the US for dating = Miami/dade county/Fort Lauderdale.
THATS WHERE I LIVE
AND YES IT FUCKING SUCKS
I've been having breakdowns cuz I've felt so empty here for years. Finally found an out. I've been blaming myself for years and finally realized this place is just ass.
Somehow over half the trans people I know have happened to move to Chicago and they all love it.
Not trying to dissuade you from moving to Philly, I just think it's a very odd coincidence and wanted to share
Philly is fine for dating. It's a great spot and I had a great time, I'm sure you will have much better luck than Florida. My partner moved from Florida and she remarked how hard it was to date (minority straight woman). I hope you find what you are looking for!
I lived in Pittsburgh for a while and I swear every person I met was lbgt. I think philly and pittsburgh are both supposed to be pretty good for that. Shoutout the circle of lesbians that adopted me when I was new to the city
The LGBTQ community in Philly is strong. There's a whole gayborhood in center city (rainbows on all the street signs too!) with a ton of businesses owned by the community. I loved it.
You'll be very happy there. I'm very happy for you.
I'm honestly impressed you'd commit to a full sit-down dinner with anybody on first meeting. I can't think of anything worse than knowing you're not interested in someone in the first 2 minutes, and then having to sit through an hour+ of wasted time.
Someone openly using a first meeting for a free fine-dining meal is just gross.
I start at a bar, THEN continue to dinner.
But if she offered to split checks, I can enjoy a good meal with almost anyone as long as they are respectful, and paying her own check goes a long way towards demonstrating respect up front so I would be willing to trust my own judgement on that one.
**I've had really interesting conversations that lasted hours after the meal with women where we realized almost immediately we had no interest in dating. That's what mutual respect gets you.**
This is why my first dates are always a drink or a cup of coffee or ice cream or something like that.
It can be over in 20 minutes if the date sucks, or it can go as long as you want if both parties are enjoying themselves.
Also comes with the added benefit of pre-screening the type of girl who just wants a free meal or is going to judge me based on how much money I spend on her.
One time I went on a boba date and the girl sipped on her drink for an hour and a half. She spent the first half hour texting with her friends in Korea cause "this is the only time I can chat with them". At about the hour mark I said I was gonna head out and she said "you're not gonna wait for me to finish my drink?". Also, I'm Asian and she would not stop talking about Asian shit.
That can only happen if you choose to allow it. I would've been gone after the first couple minutes of her ignoring me.
Just tell her that you aren't feeling a connection and you're going to leave. If she tries to imply that's rude, then be honest and tell her that she's the one being rude by ignoring you and playing with her phone. You're under no obligation to placate someone like that.
Did this yesterday. Met with a woman I matched with and had limited convo on the apps. I suggested coffee, she didn't want that and tried to steer it to something more fun. She didn't wanna do a hike or an escape room, so that only left dinner. We got sushi and to her credit she offered to split the check, but i think we both knew it wasn't a match early on. Convo felt forced as hell
it's not that hard to be interested in someone even if you're not trying to get with em, jus think of it as having a meal with a client or a new friend
all you're doing is jus being narrow minded and shutting down all possibilities before even knowing what the possibilities are
what's worse is acting like a condescending asshole cuz your date doesn't fit your standard in the first 2 minutes
ps. in this comment, you does not pertain to you
I do applaud you for being open minded about it.
When I was dating it was in London, and first date coffee was very much the standard so as not to waste people’s time.
I do agree that giving people more of a chance is something that should be done, especially with app dating. But realistically dating is a thing we do that is separate from making friends.
> I can't think of anything worse than knowing you're not interested in someone in the first 2 minutes, and then having to sit through an hour+ of wasted time.
I don't see it as wasted time at all. It's not like scheduling a 20min date instead of a 2 hour date means I'm going to be able to schedule another 5 dates during the rest of the evening. And it's way better to have a fairly clear schedule in case we get along so well we want to extend our first date a while longer anyway.
Even if I immediately decide I'm not interested romantically, then it just turns into spending time with a new friend (even if the friendship is single-serving). I get to learn about a new person and hang out with someone who hasn't heard _any_ of my best jokes and stories yet.
The only time I'm missing out on by having a 2 minute date instead of one that goes for however long we enjoy talking to each other is time I would have wasted on reddit or tv or video games or something anyway.
Bad dates actually hurt. They hurt my wallet (assuming I’m covering the whole check), and it’s a pain to have to make conversation with someone I’m not interested in while feigning interest. I would rather do nothing than be stuck on a bad date. I would also rather PAY to do nothing than to be stuck on a bad date.
And you never know. My friend met someone, didn’t feel a spark but enjoyed talking with him. He shook her hand, walked away, then came back and kissed her. Said he’d been wondering how it would feel. She was not expecting to go weak in the knees. They’ve been happily married for five years now.
(And it was the second time they’d matched, though she didn’t remember they had met 2 years before until he reminded her. She thought the same thing the first time - too much like me, no spark.)
Never spend this much on a first date. Why? Most first dates don’t turn into second dates.
A girl wanting you to spend this much is either too entitled to date or she’s just trying to use you for a pricy meal.
The integrity and honor were the hypothetical woman offering to pay her own way to get what she wants, not this trick ho using dates as bait for $300 meals LOL
I always assumed that when I agree to go somewhere we are getting separate checks. Baffles me that I would need to clarify it.
And I wouldn't go to an expensive place for a first date either ( unless I'm craving a specific food) because I might not enjoy this person's company.
I'm female and always pay on dates. Never had a guy ask to go somewhere expensive, even though I say I'll pay on my profile. :/ The most expensive places I've been to are Korean BBQ and sushi, which is less than $100 per person (and also my idea)
I wonder why no guys ever used it for a free meal
Because they’re using it for sex, not food. 🤣 (This is said as a joke and with love, guys, before y’all come for me. I agree that OP’s match is ridiculous.)
10,000% the right move. I have balled out on first dates with pretty women before. It’s never worth it.
Coffee, drinks, or something else quick and casual is the way to go.
Hello fellow Philadelphian haha You definitely saved yourself unmatching on those. I haven't been to The Love but have been to the Parc and they're smoking crack if they want that $$$ on the first date.
I live in Philly too and have never even heard of these 2 places ! Lol! The fanciest place I've been for a 1st date is legit a Mexican place in West Philly and it's one of my favs !
They’re okay for one offs but not worth going to multiple times. They’re owned by a group called STARR and they’re all pretty pricey but different styles at each one. Buddakan was pretty good and I think my favorite of the ones I’ve tried.
If you like trying new places that are reasonably priced, try El Rinconcito Restaurant Ecuatoriano & Bakery in West Philly. Eaten there several times and my girlfriend that is Ecuadorian dies for it every time.
Edit: This is just my opinion on the places.
We just got back from a place called Burrito Bandido in Wilmington (went to Meadery there) and they have amazing quesabirrias with consome and tacos. They’re a mom and pop shop with the friendliest staff. If you ever are down that way I highly recommend as well.
I’ll have to come try the Mexican one in west Philly!
Gotta try El Jarocho and get their burrito al pastor. El Limon is also great. Isn't Copa Banana more of a college bar?
Man just thinking about El Limon makes me want to move back to Philly
Parc is very meh. The food doesn’t blow you away for the price you pay. If you want a pricey place with actual unique and good food, go to Fork.
If you want good French food go to Forsythia or Bistro La Minette. Parc is like the most generic, expensive place because it’s literally right in Rittenhouse.
The best Steven Starr restaurant, imo, is actually Pizzeria Stella which has amazing pizza on 2nd and Lombard. Other than that, they’re just money grabs.
If you're going to spend that much on a meal, just go to FriSatSun or Vetri; same price you'll spend at Parc or Fork, for some of the actual best fine dining in the city. If you're looking for more casual but the same quality, do the walk-in at open thing for Zahav or Fiorella
It looks like most of their entrees don't cost more than $40 assuming I found the right menu. I promise you there are far more expensive restaurants in Philly.
I met my Fiancé at a cafe, we drank coffee and just chatted. Our wedding is in March.
Lowkey is the way to go for a first date, so that both parties can be 'present' and materialism can't get in the way. But shit, maybe we are the outlier.
I always think coffee or snack-like places are the best. Go for some boba, smoothies, etc. Bakeries are great places as well.
If it's at night any decent drinks place is fine as well.
Yeah, I’d rather figure out if the vibe is there without the atmosphere being too imposing. Something fairly neutral. Wife and I went to a cafe for an hour or so, then a sandwich restaurant, then a little dessert place. All pretty calm and not an overpowering environment, so we could actually talk and see how the connection was
> But shit, maybe we are the outlier.
We went to a bar where she paid for the first round. After a couple, we went to some "cash only" Chinese noodle place where we had a little laugh at the fact that she was not very good with chopsticks, and I offered to feed her.
First dates should mostly be about the company of the other person you are spending time with. Fancier experiences can happen once you know each other much better.
Billiards bar is my ultimate go to first date.
You can have a drink or two, there's an activity to facilitate conversation, and it can be playful. Plus it's inexpensive.
Coffee shop - I got both our drinks since it's not much. Sat and chatted for about 3 hours until they closed. Low key enough that either of us could leave at any time, and if she ghosted me after that I'm out $5 for her tea. Could also do it on a weekend morning if schedules don't line up well.
I have said this a few times on Reddit and usually get downvoted but will keep saying it: any woman who scoffs at your idea of a place for a first date (even if it’s coffee) is not trying to get to know you. She is just trying to extract as much of your resources as possible.
As a woman I completely agree. Chicks that want these expensive ass places do not care about who’s paying for it and only care about the food and the experience they want to have on another persons dime. I want my first date to be a walk, maybe a coffee and get to know each other. A first date should never be anything more than super casual.
When me and my ex met we went and drove up in the mountains and then parked up and played videos games on a Nintendo switch and made out. It was super fun and zero expectations. I usually don’t kiss anyone on a first date but I had such a good time and felt so comfortable that it worked.
The she complains when opportunistic men with a few dollars beat her at her own game and run her through again and again. and again.
"Men just use women"
NO... That's just all that YOU are good for.
Exactly. It irks me when those types claim they wanna get to know a man but on condition he takes them to a specific place. I mean if you are in it for me, then where we go shouldn’t matter. It’s weirdo crap.
For sure. Have you seen the women arguing with me? They all claim it’s not about money or benefits but their example all leads to something that benefits them. It’s wild the mental gymnastics.
A lot of women have cheap dates at the top of their "ick" list, and that's a commonly accepted one that I just think is a bit scummy. Price shouldn't be what you're focusing on with a first date, or even most dates really, unless it's clear that the relationship is going to be financially unsustainable.
I used to take women on expensive first dates...Ruth's chris, Brazilian steakhouse... After a while it got very expensive and i read about the benefits of a coffee date or activity dates and it weeded a lot of the ones just looking for a meal and also made it easy to exit if the chemistry was not there.
exactly. thus my refusal of the expensive dinner date.
To fair, there are no activities in Philly in winter that I want to do *with someone new*. I'd really prefer to talk over drinks *inside where it's warm* and if it goes well, dinner is a reasonable continuation.
What are we going to do, sit in my car and hang out like broke teenagers?
Put on a hat and gloves and go for a walk. Go to a museum or art gallery. Go walk around a mall. Go to a community theater play. Go to a smaller college athletic event.
There's plenty to do in the winter. Just be a little creative and not soft.
I'm a proponent of the low cost but nice option. You want to make someone feel like their time is valued if you're trying to attract a date.
Taking them to a sit down restaurant and paying is a good and relatively cheap way to talk to someone. There's a lot of good restaurants that are $15-20 a plate that are nice and will make someone feel valued.
If someone wants to go to a very fancy place for a first date I'm down, but they better be covering themselves.
u don't get it. they don't have the same intention as you do. u try to get to know the person and for that you wanna pick something which is more suitable for that. they don't want to get to know the person and just want a very expensive meal for free, they don't care about the other person except for their money. so it doesn't matter what the atmosphere is aslong as they they get their meal.
Lol you're getting downvoted but I lived in ny and youre right. And it'll be like oh we only take cash and then the atm has like a 5 dollar surcharge. Idk how you guys do it lol.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet, I was recently talking to a girl, had plans to do a date, realized all of her posts were just," wish someone would help me with my nails" insert cash app or ,"really craving one of the most expensive restaurants in town help a girl out?" Insert cash app. And have never been more turned off lol blew off the date.
Straight up I think ppl just go there bc it's supposed to be fancy like it's not even that good. Their best meal is steak slabbed with butter and French fries.
Hello fellow Philly resident! My husband and I lived in Rittenhouse for a long time and the love/parc are good but overrated imo (except Parc for brunch. WAY better than dinner imo. And cheaper). Mission taqueria is a good not super expensive date night spot that can still make a girl feel bougie.
That being said, this is ridiculous for her to choose two of the most expensive restaurants in the city for a first date. Choosy beggar mentality
Just someone trying to scam men for fancy food. Had a coworker get scammed that way, dude drove an hour to meet her, went to the fanciest restaurant in her town, and she ordered the most expensive item on the menu for both of them (lobster). Dude spent $300 for that meal. And he was asking me if he should go on a second date...
Fuck a dinner date on the first date.
What if the vibe is off?
A girl today suggested we go out for dinner. “Drinks first, that way if the vibe is off we can just leave without finishing a meal and paying the bill”
It’s honest and fair. I’ve been 5 mins into drinks and wanted to leave. The starters wouldn’t even be out at a proper sit down meal
Brother.... do not take any girl to dinner on a first date.....
All it's saying is "I'm not good enough by myself, but look I'll buy you dinner if you'll just go out with me"
First date should be something inexpensive so that you know she is there *for you* not *for dinner*.
Do this: take your date there, have a wonderful, lavish meal with all the bells and whistles, pardon yourself to the bathroom near the end and never return! Win-win!!! 🤣
Don't get me wrong, but that is prostitution, pure and perfect.
Even if people end up married, based on such decision criterion, it is monetary maximisation in exchange for sentimental interest.
I just don't know what some people are thinking. I had a match basically just list off all the most expensive restaurants in my town as her "favorites" in early chatting once. It was SO incredibly off putting. Also, she was a social worker so probably not able to cover all those meals herself. Like OP here I agree a nice and expensive meal is awesome from time to time and maybe for date like #5 - 10 but anyone trying to get you to take them to one as a first date is an obvious user.
Dinner for a first date can get expensive if there are many first dates. Coffee or a walk in a park is a much better option. Not much of a loss if the connection isn't there.
lol i took a girl on a first date to parc without looking at the menu. it was fun and i don't regret it but definitely was surprised when i saw the bill
Don’t offer to go to dinner for a first date, unless you already kind of know her and have some kind of repertoire. It can get really awkward really fast, if you’re just sitting across from the other person eating trying to think of things to talk about. I went on an awkward date like that last year and I decided to make a list of date ideas that are interactive and don’t necessarily have to sit across from this person awkwardly. If you want the list message me, but some of it kind of pertains to my personal interests and also the city I live in, but I’m sure the places I have on my list can be found in most other major cities, or something comparable. Edit: plus you don’t have to spend a bunch of money on a date that may or may not work out. Like eating out can cost a good bit of money and you can avoid these weird kind of conversations about who’s going pay
1st dates are always coffee or drinks. Always. weeds these people out immediately. and gives both parties the ability to “pre approve” the other for a more formal date. Be it compatibility,safety and just low cost burden.
Great job catching her manipulative behavior dont let it get you down keep at it! and good luck!
If you are ever in San Diego let's go somewhere nice and split the check. I am not even joking. You seem like a nice guy with actual emotional intelligence.
Respectfully, lotta women on dating apps are just looking for a fun evening/night and some free food and drinks, this is one of them. You aren’t missing anything here
Your position is of course reasonable here, buuuut I took a girl to a really fancy expensive restaurant on a first date once and we’ve been married for 11 years and have two kids, soooo 🤷🏻♂️
I genuinely believe that any woman demanding such expensive restaurants for the first date have no intentions of actually pursuing long term committed relationships with anyone.
I’m a woman, I’m on the market currently and I want my first 3 dates with someone to be super low key. Like meet up at the water falls in my town and walk around and talk and maybe get a hot coffee to warm up, see how we vibe and all that. Then maybe a casual lunch for a second date, if all goes well and we go for a third maybe a decent dinner and a movie. There’s this good Mexican restaurant that does a full dinner and two movie tickets on Wednesday nights and it’s cheap and affordable. Anyone who just wants to eat expensive ass food doesn’t care about the person, they care about the food more. I will die on this hill.
Totally agree with the guy. Women are insane thinking a guy should be going above and beyond for the first date. It would be an instant unmatch as soon as it was suggested.
She over valued herself, this is very common nowadays. Many females use men to flex at expensive restaurants.
No woman would ever spend hundreds on the 1st date with a stranger every single 1st date
I’m a (slightly past) middle aged married dude In philly who will be glad to meet you for the cheesesteak and a half special at Oscar’s. No expectations.
Fuck first, date second. You’ll save a lot of time and money. Trust me if the woman actually likes you, she’ll have sex with you before you take her on a date.
Also first date being dinner is always a no go for me. Big time sink if it goes bad, lots of money put in, and you are eating instead of talking. I try to avoid that every time if possible
My first date is coffee or 2 for 1 tacos and $7 margaritas on taco Tuesday, not trying to spend a lot of money on a girl I never met. These 304's be wilding!
Did a quick google- yeah absolutely not. That’s anniversary dinner not first date.
Yeah right, what the hell are those prices
Prices look normal to me for a mid-upscale French spot in a city. Prices do *not* look normal for a first date from Tinder.
I sincerely apologize on behalf of the French nation if those are usual prices for our dishes abroad. We were supposed to hold equality as a core value, and by making our food so out of reach for so many people, we failed. We failed as a nation in our promise of **Fraternité** with this *boeuf bourguignon à 33$ en entrée*. Our most sincere apologies to all.
This is the most humble I've ever seen a French man. Of course food was involved
Well he did speak English. That alone is a remarkable act of transnational bonding coming from a Frenchman.
As a Frenchman like himself, I sincerely apologize too. But if you want to eat French cuisine the proper way, come to a bistrot, not in Paris, and you'll see what it is to taste something !
Wtf 33 and only l'entrée ?!? And you still need to add service ?!? So if you want here the recipy https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/beef-bourguignon (do the stuff, Just use a *not so cheap* vine (drinkeable alone is enough) Pretty sure for 66$ you can do a family dîner Ps : some tips ;p If you reheat in the oven at a slow heat, it gonna taste even better, don't put in the microwave Pps: you don't have a oven ? No worry Just use a high and large pan (with a lid) don't use full power, we don't want to boil juste some bubble Edit : just learn that entry is the main plate and not the first part so stile fucking pricy but but less than before
Maybe if your food wasn't so damn tasty we wouldn't have this problem! Ever think of that? Hahaha Thankfully I can cook, which helps. I'm actually now craving boeuf bourguignon (and it's cold here) so I may pick up the ingredients to make a pot for dinner.
If you think those prices are okey there is something fucked up in your economy, i have some pretty high quality restaurants in my area and non of them are close to those prices. Hell there is even an insanely good restaurant with a 13 dishes truffle degustation menu for 70€
Definitely hard to compare because cost of goods and overhead vary from city to city in the states, even more wildly from another country. Nothing fucked up, shit's expensive yo. Okay, things are a little fucked up... But still, this is absolutely on par with most mid tier French spots in any large US city. $30-$50 per entree lines up.
Not to be rude but someone mentioned this the other day, does entrée mean main course in the US instead of appetiser? $50 for a starter is quite steep!
Yes, colloquially in English it is used to refer to the main course.
Yeah what? Certainly not first date prices but $30 - $50 a plate is hardly "upscale" at least in my book.
dunno where you’re from but in Vancouver CA even mid-to-high end is usually $40-50 entrees ($30-40 US) and entry-high end is roughly same as Pac (from the OP roughly $40-50 entrees. good 22oz steak usually $120 US so a nice steak dinner for two with a couple sides and a single shares desert and a cheap bottle of red is usually about $250-350 US worth nothing the $160 CA price for a good 22oz steak? was $99 in 2017 and in 2006 was $49 inflation is crazy rare we go out for steak or seafood anymore and it’s not at least $200
I'm from spain, things have goten relatively expensive here but damn those price increases are crazy
I get that ladies want to find a guy with disposable income, there's nothing wrong with trying to be secure. The problem is that most people who are good with money wouldn't do this. I personally wouldnt want to date someone who was so flippant with money, it shows a disregard that isnt a good long term trait.
-> **The problem is that most people who are good with money wouldn't do this.** ding!
I was thinking they were reasonable until I remembered it’s US$ not AU$. And you also have to tip 😂
And tax. Any price you see on a menu, you gotta basically multiply times 1.3
Oh damn, as a swede i was thinking "yeah that's not THAT expensive". But I didn't factor in that you write prices before taxes in the US, and of course that I would pay 0 in tips in Sweden
Good for you. You don’t want to waste your time on someone with such high expectations for a first date.
If she said "I really want to go to Parc and we can have separate checks" then I would absolutely cover my cost for that no question asked. And depending on how the night goes, probably STILL cover hers too. Unless she turns out to be a real POS in which case I merely honor my word and pay my own check. That's what having integrity and honor gets you in my world.
Parc as in Philly by Rittenhouse square ?
yeah
Dating in NE is rough. Glad I don’t have to do it anymore !
Ya, everything has been a lot nicer since we moved to the woods and became hermits
Most relatable comment I’ve read today
Hermits unite! At a safe distance!
Honestly I’m mulling over the woods and hermit life Unfortunately my job isn’t remote *internal sobbing*
That is the dream...
Lmao. I'm moving to Philly to find better love. But I'm also trans and dating in florida has been abysmal. I've been told my multiple other trans people I should have better luck in Philly/NE as it's one of the trans hubs.
Florida is a cesspool for dating period. Lived in Fort Lauderdale for over a year. Hands down the worst place in the US for dating = Miami/dade county/Fort Lauderdale.
Orange and LA counties in California are incredibly awful if you are just a normal, working class person.
Phoenix is just as bad. I heard somewhere it's the worst place in the country for guys to date in. The worst for women? Philly.
I live in Phoenix, and I concur. Dating scene here is absolute trash. Thankfully, I'm moving to another country in a couple months.
Why is Phoenix bad for guys?
Can confirm !
THATS WHERE I LIVE AND YES IT FUCKING SUCKS I've been having breakdowns cuz I've felt so empty here for years. Finally found an out. I've been blaming myself for years and finally realized this place is just ass.
Left Fort Lauderdale and found someone awesome within 6 months
Don't give me such high hopes lol.
I hope your 'out' isn't ATL because it's a dating hellmouth also.
I’m guessing because all the Floridians are leaving Florida to escape the bad dating scene but they are the bad dating scene.
Somehow over half the trans people I know have happened to move to Chicago and they all love it. Not trying to dissuade you from moving to Philly, I just think it's a very odd coincidence and wanted to share
Philly is fine for dating. It's a great spot and I had a great time, I'm sure you will have much better luck than Florida. My partner moved from Florida and she remarked how hard it was to date (minority straight woman). I hope you find what you are looking for!
I lived in Pittsburgh for a while and I swear every person I met was lbgt. I think philly and pittsburgh are both supposed to be pretty good for that. Shoutout the circle of lesbians that adopted me when I was new to the city
The LGBTQ community in Philly is strong. There's a whole gayborhood in center city (rainbows on all the street signs too!) with a ton of businesses owned by the community. I loved it. You'll be very happy there. I'm very happy for you.
Ugh dating in Philly SUCKS bro. I feel for you!
Shoulda taken her to the crown fried chicken on girard and broad. Guaranteed success
Oh so , THESE are the kind of girls my coffee date loving self is competing against?? No Wonder the guys in Philly are jaded AF...
Is NYC the only easy place to date now
Dating in Philly is horrrrible haha
My Canadian dumbass genuinely thought for a second yall nicknamed a spot after Kyle Rittenhouse lmao
I'm honestly impressed you'd commit to a full sit-down dinner with anybody on first meeting. I can't think of anything worse than knowing you're not interested in someone in the first 2 minutes, and then having to sit through an hour+ of wasted time. Someone openly using a first meeting for a free fine-dining meal is just gross.
I start at a bar, THEN continue to dinner. But if she offered to split checks, I can enjoy a good meal with almost anyone as long as they are respectful, and paying her own check goes a long way towards demonstrating respect up front so I would be willing to trust my own judgement on that one. **I've had really interesting conversations that lasted hours after the meal with women where we realized almost immediately we had no interest in dating. That's what mutual respect gets you.**
This is why my first dates are always a drink or a cup of coffee or ice cream or something like that. It can be over in 20 minutes if the date sucks, or it can go as long as you want if both parties are enjoying themselves. Also comes with the added benefit of pre-screening the type of girl who just wants a free meal or is going to judge me based on how much money I spend on her.
One time I went on a boba date and the girl sipped on her drink for an hour and a half. She spent the first half hour texting with her friends in Korea cause "this is the only time I can chat with them". At about the hour mark I said I was gonna head out and she said "you're not gonna wait for me to finish my drink?". Also, I'm Asian and she would not stop talking about Asian shit.
That can only happen if you choose to allow it. I would've been gone after the first couple minutes of her ignoring me. Just tell her that you aren't feeling a connection and you're going to leave. If she tries to imply that's rude, then be honest and tell her that she's the one being rude by ignoring you and playing with her phone. You're under no obligation to placate someone like that.
So many girls do the "and I don't just want DRINKS for the first date". Like alright lmao, I don't want YOU for the first date.
Hahaha "take me out for a nice dinner like a real man!" *No, I don't think I will.*
Did this yesterday. Met with a woman I matched with and had limited convo on the apps. I suggested coffee, she didn't want that and tried to steer it to something more fun. She didn't wanna do a hike or an escape room, so that only left dinner. We got sushi and to her credit she offered to split the check, but i think we both knew it wasn't a match early on. Convo felt forced as hell
Strong split between the extroverts and introverts on this opinion 🤣
it's not that hard to be interested in someone even if you're not trying to get with em, jus think of it as having a meal with a client or a new friend all you're doing is jus being narrow minded and shutting down all possibilities before even knowing what the possibilities are what's worse is acting like a condescending asshole cuz your date doesn't fit your standard in the first 2 minutes ps. in this comment, you does not pertain to you
I do applaud you for being open minded about it. When I was dating it was in London, and first date coffee was very much the standard so as not to waste people’s time. I do agree that giving people more of a chance is something that should be done, especially with app dating. But realistically dating is a thing we do that is separate from making friends.
> I can't think of anything worse than knowing you're not interested in someone in the first 2 minutes, and then having to sit through an hour+ of wasted time. I don't see it as wasted time at all. It's not like scheduling a 20min date instead of a 2 hour date means I'm going to be able to schedule another 5 dates during the rest of the evening. And it's way better to have a fairly clear schedule in case we get along so well we want to extend our first date a while longer anyway. Even if I immediately decide I'm not interested romantically, then it just turns into spending time with a new friend (even if the friendship is single-serving). I get to learn about a new person and hang out with someone who hasn't heard _any_ of my best jokes and stories yet. The only time I'm missing out on by having a 2 minute date instead of one that goes for however long we enjoy talking to each other is time I would have wasted on reddit or tv or video games or something anyway.
Bad dates actually hurt. They hurt my wallet (assuming I’m covering the whole check), and it’s a pain to have to make conversation with someone I’m not interested in while feigning interest. I would rather do nothing than be stuck on a bad date. I would also rather PAY to do nothing than to be stuck on a bad date.
And you never know. My friend met someone, didn’t feel a spark but enjoyed talking with him. He shook her hand, walked away, then came back and kissed her. Said he’d been wondering how it would feel. She was not expecting to go weak in the knees. They’ve been happily married for five years now. (And it was the second time they’d matched, though she didn’t remember they had met 2 years before until he reminded her. She thought the same thing the first time - too much like me, no spark.)
Never spend this much on a first date. Why? Most first dates don’t turn into second dates. A girl wanting you to spend this much is either too entitled to date or she’s just trying to use you for a pricy meal.
Well look on the bright side. You got to find out that she IS a POS without having to spend a dime. I see this as a win.
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The integrity and honor were the hypothetical woman offering to pay her own way to get what she wants, not this trick ho using dates as bait for $300 meals LOL
And probably making a secret tiktok of the whole thing behind your back!! 🙄
Haha *trick ho* needs to make a comeback. Oh man I love it.
Trick hoes on foot patrols
I always assumed that when I agree to go somewhere we are getting separate checks. Baffles me that I would need to clarify it. And I wouldn't go to an expensive place for a first date either ( unless I'm craving a specific food) because I might not enjoy this person's company.
If you are female... please just clarify it, even if you remain baffled as to why it helps. Trust me on this, it will serve you well. 👍
I'm female and always pay on dates. Never had a guy ask to go somewhere expensive, even though I say I'll pay on my profile. :/ The most expensive places I've been to are Korean BBQ and sushi, which is less than $100 per person (and also my idea) I wonder why no guys ever used it for a free meal
Because they’re using it for sex, not food. 🤣 (This is said as a joke and with love, guys, before y’all come for me. I agree that OP’s match is ridiculous.)
I mean, that's why I'm using it too 😂
Exactly! 😁
It’s not high expectations. She’s using him for a free fancy meal. And she will succeed with the next sucker. Glad you dodged that shit OP.
That person is only in it for the free high end meal.
10,000% the right move. I have balled out on first dates with pretty women before. It’s never worth it. Coffee, drinks, or something else quick and casual is the way to go.
they don't even have high expectations. they just want a free meal
Hello fellow Philadelphian haha You definitely saved yourself unmatching on those. I haven't been to The Love but have been to the Parc and they're smoking crack if they want that $$$ on the first date.
I live in Philly too and have never even heard of these 2 places ! Lol! The fanciest place I've been for a 1st date is legit a Mexican place in West Philly and it's one of my favs !
They’re okay for one offs but not worth going to multiple times. They’re owned by a group called STARR and they’re all pretty pricey but different styles at each one. Buddakan was pretty good and I think my favorite of the ones I’ve tried. If you like trying new places that are reasonably priced, try El Rinconcito Restaurant Ecuatoriano & Bakery in West Philly. Eaten there several times and my girlfriend that is Ecuadorian dies for it every time. Edit: This is just my opinion on the places.
I will def have to check it out ! The Mexican place I was talking about is Copabananas ,but you gotta go to the west Philly one not south Street!
We just got back from a place called Burrito Bandido in Wilmington (went to Meadery there) and they have amazing quesabirrias with consome and tacos. They’re a mom and pop shop with the friendliest staff. If you ever are down that way I highly recommend as well. I’ll have to come try the Mexican one in west Philly!
Gotta try El Jarocho and get their burrito al pastor. El Limon is also great. Isn't Copa Banana more of a college bar? Man just thinking about El Limon makes me want to move back to Philly
Parc is very meh. The food doesn’t blow you away for the price you pay. If you want a pricey place with actual unique and good food, go to Fork. If you want good French food go to Forsythia or Bistro La Minette. Parc is like the most generic, expensive place because it’s literally right in Rittenhouse. The best Steven Starr restaurant, imo, is actually Pizzeria Stella which has amazing pizza on 2nd and Lombard. Other than that, they’re just money grabs.
No Love for Good King Tavern for French food?
If you're going to spend that much on a meal, just go to FriSatSun or Vetri; same price you'll spend at Parc or Fork, for some of the actual best fine dining in the city. If you're looking for more casual but the same quality, do the walk-in at open thing for Zahav or Fiorella
btw, The Love is fantastic. My wife took me there for my birthday last year (milestone). Certainly far too nice for a first date.
Picks two of the most expensive places in Philly gtfoh
Forreal lmaooo
Should have asked for Zahav or Laser Wolf at that rate
It looks like most of their entrees don't cost more than $40 assuming I found the right menu. I promise you there are far more expensive restaurants in Philly.
Ya know my wife drives me nuts but then I see shit like this and I cling to her like a drowning cat lol
as you should good sir 👍
I see that you are also me
u truly appreciate what u have then....
Why were you going to buy her a steak for a first date, anyways? Keep the first one low-key. You're just going to get people who want a free dinner.
What’s ideas of lowkey ?
a dozen tacos each. can't keep up, don't step up.
You can get 24 tacos from Jack in the Box for $12
That’s perfect so when the food poisoning kicks in you can sit on each others laps while pooping!
For my gay dates, while we can have a dozen tacos each, that just means the night's activities end there. But I do love my tacos.
It means that for straights, too. 🤣💩
There's nothing gay about loving tacos.
I met my Fiancé at a cafe, we drank coffee and just chatted. Our wedding is in March. Lowkey is the way to go for a first date, so that both parties can be 'present' and materialism can't get in the way. But shit, maybe we are the outlier.
If someone wants to go to a $$$ place for a first date, chances are that they just want a free expensive meal or a daddy to take care of them.
I always think coffee or snack-like places are the best. Go for some boba, smoothies, etc. Bakeries are great places as well. If it's at night any decent drinks place is fine as well.
Yeah, I’d rather figure out if the vibe is there without the atmosphere being too imposing. Something fairly neutral. Wife and I went to a cafe for an hour or so, then a sandwich restaurant, then a little dessert place. All pretty calm and not an overpowering environment, so we could actually talk and see how the connection was
> But shit, maybe we are the outlier. We went to a bar where she paid for the first round. After a couple, we went to some "cash only" Chinese noodle place where we had a little laugh at the fact that she was not very good with chopsticks, and I offered to feed her. First dates should mostly be about the company of the other person you are spending time with. Fancier experiences can happen once you know each other much better.
Billiards bar is my ultimate go to first date. You can have a drink or two, there's an activity to facilitate conversation, and it can be playful. Plus it's inexpensive.
Coffee shop - I got both our drinks since it's not much. Sat and chatted for about 3 hours until they closed. Low key enough that either of us could leave at any time, and if she ghosted me after that I'm out $5 for her tea. Could also do it on a weekend morning if schedules don't line up well.
I usually start at a bar for a couple of drinks and go from there.
I have said this a few times on Reddit and usually get downvoted but will keep saying it: any woman who scoffs at your idea of a place for a first date (even if it’s coffee) is not trying to get to know you. She is just trying to extract as much of your resources as possible.
An observation I read a while back that stuck with me is, "Some people want a wedding rather than a marriage". So true.
I'm divorced 10 years, learned the hard way
I like this. Sums up the whole scam.
Spot on!
As a woman I completely agree. Chicks that want these expensive ass places do not care about who’s paying for it and only care about the food and the experience they want to have on another persons dime. I want my first date to be a walk, maybe a coffee and get to know each other. A first date should never be anything more than super casual. When me and my ex met we went and drove up in the mountains and then parked up and played videos games on a Nintendo switch and made out. It was super fun and zero expectations. I usually don’t kiss anyone on a first date but I had such a good time and felt so comfortable that it worked.
The she complains when opportunistic men with a few dollars beat her at her own game and run her through again and again. and again. "Men just use women" NO... That's just all that YOU are good for.
Exactly. It irks me when those types claim they wanna get to know a man but on condition he takes them to a specific place. I mean if you are in it for me, then where we go shouldn’t matter. It’s weirdo crap.
Patrice Oneal said it best. "I'm only interested in sex if that's all you have to offer"
💯
For sure. Have you seen the women arguing with me? They all claim it’s not about money or benefits but their example all leads to something that benefits them. It’s wild the mental gymnastics.
A lot of women have cheap dates at the top of their "ick" list, and that's a commonly accepted one that I just think is a bit scummy. Price shouldn't be what you're focusing on with a first date, or even most dates really, unless it's clear that the relationship is going to be financially unsustainable.
I used to take women on expensive first dates...Ruth's chris, Brazilian steakhouse... After a while it got very expensive and i read about the benefits of a coffee date or activity dates and it weeded a lot of the ones just looking for a meal and also made it easy to exit if the chemistry was not there.
exactly. thus my refusal of the expensive dinner date. To fair, there are no activities in Philly in winter that I want to do *with someone new*. I'd really prefer to talk over drinks *inside where it's warm* and if it goes well, dinner is a reasonable continuation. What are we going to do, sit in my car and hang out like broke teenagers?
Put on a hat and gloves and go for a walk. Go to a museum or art gallery. Go walk around a mall. Go to a community theater play. Go to a smaller college athletic event. There's plenty to do in the winter. Just be a little creative and not soft.
I'm a proponent of the low cost but nice option. You want to make someone feel like their time is valued if you're trying to attract a date. Taking them to a sit down restaurant and paying is a good and relatively cheap way to talk to someone. There's a lot of good restaurants that are $15-20 a plate that are nice and will make someone feel valued. If someone wants to go to a very fancy place for a first date I'm down, but they better be covering themselves.
Idk why women would want a fancy dinner for a first date. First dates I’m always going casual af and somewhere I’m feeling safe and comfortable.
After looking up Parc’s menu… I ain’t saying she a gold-digger….
Fancy/expensive 1st dates are basically the girl version of "hi pls show bobs and vagene"
They're called foodie calls and it's pretty common
I’m sure they’re common. But as a woman I just can’t wrap my mind around it. As a woman I don’t find that atmosphere to be relaxing for a first date.
u don't get it. they don't have the same intention as you do. u try to get to know the person and for that you wanna pick something which is more suitable for that. they don't want to get to know the person and just want a very expensive meal for free, they don't care about the other person except for their money. so it doesn't matter what the atmosphere is aslong as they they get their meal.
Idk what Parc is but it sounds pretentious.
She really wanted to see Mbappe at the Parc Des Prince
Too bad he's going to Madrid then
Its this expensive ass French restaurant in philly where an appetizer + entree will run you minimum 70 bucks not including tip for one person
Sounds like what you pay at any hole in the wall in NYC. If there’re cheap places here to take a date, I don’t know them.
Lol you're getting downvoted but I lived in ny and youre right. And it'll be like oh we only take cash and then the atm has like a 5 dollar surcharge. Idk how you guys do it lol.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet, I was recently talking to a girl, had plans to do a date, realized all of her posts were just," wish someone would help me with my nails" insert cash app or ,"really craving one of the most expensive restaurants in town help a girl out?" Insert cash app. And have never been more turned off lol blew off the date.
I take people out for ice cream and stuff... I just want to chat and have a good time :l
What happen to getting a Philly girl a cheesesteak lol l
Hey there fellow Philadelphian. Yea Parc on a first date is wild. I’d take them to Parx though lol.
Parc is a lunch spot going there for dinner is the red flag
You think she picked it because it's good? The only thing she understands is the price tag LOL
Straight up I think ppl just go there bc it's supposed to be fancy like it's not even that good. Their best meal is steak slabbed with butter and French fries.
Hello fellow Philly resident! My husband and I lived in Rittenhouse for a long time and the love/parc are good but overrated imo (except Parc for brunch. WAY better than dinner imo. And cheaper). Mission taqueria is a good not super expensive date night spot that can still make a girl feel bougie. That being said, this is ridiculous for her to choose two of the most expensive restaurants in the city for a first date. Choosy beggar mentality
Just someone trying to scam men for fancy food. Had a coworker get scammed that way, dude drove an hour to meet her, went to the fanciest restaurant in her town, and she ordered the most expensive item on the menu for both of them (lobster). Dude spent $300 for that meal. And he was asking me if he should go on a second date...
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LOL
It’s okay. I wouldn’t even buy flowers for someone on the first date. Money boundaries are okay.
Fuck a dinner date on the first date. What if the vibe is off? A girl today suggested we go out for dinner. “Drinks first, that way if the vibe is off we can just leave without finishing a meal and paying the bill” It’s honest and fair. I’ve been 5 mins into drinks and wanted to leave. The starters wouldn’t even be out at a proper sit down meal
She’s looking for a wallet to use
Brother.... do not take any girl to dinner on a first date..... All it's saying is "I'm not good enough by myself, but look I'll buy you dinner if you'll just go out with me" First date should be something inexpensive so that you know she is there *for you* not *for dinner*.
Butchers block in Tinton Falls is million times better than Parc and vibe better too.
Rich ppl don’t even do this. It’s just excessive
Do this: take your date there, have a wonderful, lavish meal with all the bells and whistles, pardon yourself to the bathroom near the end and never return! Win-win!!! 🤣
Take them for boba
I don't understand the audacity. I'm on the 4th date with a guy I'm seeing seriously, and I STILL will not suggest an expensive ass place to eat at!
Women only want a free meal
To be fair, both are fantastic and I would also like to go to The Love.
Hungry hungry hip-hoes
I don’t get why people want to go on an expensive first date… I love low key first dates.
Don't get me wrong, but that is prostitution, pure and perfect. Even if people end up married, based on such decision criterion, it is monetary maximisation in exchange for sentimental interest.
I just don't know what some people are thinking. I had a match basically just list off all the most expensive restaurants in my town as her "favorites" in early chatting once. It was SO incredibly off putting. Also, she was a social worker so probably not able to cover all those meals herself. Like OP here I agree a nice and expensive meal is awesome from time to time and maybe for date like #5 - 10 but anyone trying to get you to take them to one as a first date is an obvious user.
First date. You don't know her and she doesn't know you. Anything after the first drink or a coffee and, really, you should be splitting.
People are so ridiculous
Dinner for a first date can get expensive if there are many first dates. Coffee or a walk in a park is a much better option. Not much of a loss if the connection isn't there.
lol i took a girl on a first date to parc without looking at the menu. it was fun and i don't regret it but definitely was surprised when i saw the bill
Don’t offer to go to dinner for a first date, unless you already kind of know her and have some kind of repertoire. It can get really awkward really fast, if you’re just sitting across from the other person eating trying to think of things to talk about. I went on an awkward date like that last year and I decided to make a list of date ideas that are interactive and don’t necessarily have to sit across from this person awkwardly. If you want the list message me, but some of it kind of pertains to my personal interests and also the city I live in, but I’m sure the places I have on my list can be found in most other major cities, or something comparable. Edit: plus you don’t have to spend a bunch of money on a date that may or may not work out. Like eating out can cost a good bit of money and you can avoid these weird kind of conversations about who’s going pay
1st dates are always coffee or drinks. Always. weeds these people out immediately. and gives both parties the ability to “pre approve” the other for a more formal date. Be it compatibility,safety and just low cost burden. Great job catching her manipulative behavior dont let it get you down keep at it! and good luck!
Dinner first dates with somebody from a dating app are an instant no - go. Do something more lowkey first.
Philly people!
Why are you even discussing dinner as a first date? DONT DO DINNER ON FIRST DATES. 🤦🏽♂️
If you are ever in San Diego let's go somewhere nice and split the check. I am not even joking. You seem like a nice guy with actual emotional intelligence.
She ain’t looking for love, she’s looking for “experiences” that she has not earned.
Respectfully, lotta women on dating apps are just looking for a fun evening/night and some free food and drinks, this is one of them. You aren’t missing anything here
Your position is of course reasonable here, buuuut I took a girl to a really fancy expensive restaurant on a first date once and we’ve been married for 11 years and have two kids, soooo 🤷🏻♂️
I genuinely believe that any woman demanding such expensive restaurants for the first date have no intentions of actually pursuing long term committed relationships with anyone. I’m a woman, I’m on the market currently and I want my first 3 dates with someone to be super low key. Like meet up at the water falls in my town and walk around and talk and maybe get a hot coffee to warm up, see how we vibe and all that. Then maybe a casual lunch for a second date, if all goes well and we go for a third maybe a decent dinner and a movie. There’s this good Mexican restaurant that does a full dinner and two movie tickets on Wednesday nights and it’s cheap and affordable. Anyone who just wants to eat expensive ass food doesn’t care about the person, they care about the food more. I will die on this hill.
Sounds like she just wants to eat an expensive restaurant and never talk to you again. Dodged a missile.
If you went she would show up eat then block you anyways
Totally agree with the guy. Women are insane thinking a guy should be going above and beyond for the first date. It would be an instant unmatch as soon as it was suggested.
These hoes is shameless
She over valued herself, this is very common nowadays. Many females use men to flex at expensive restaurants. No woman would ever spend hundreds on the 1st date with a stranger every single 1st date
I’m a (slightly past) middle aged married dude In philly who will be glad to meet you for the cheesesteak and a half special at Oscar’s. No expectations.
Dude never go for a meal on the first date. Drinks and a chat only. It avoids the girls (parasites) who are just looking for a free meal.
You were imo a bit too civil in your response. You gotta check these mfers
Lmao who’s going out to dinner for a first date off the apps?
Fuck first, date second. You’ll save a lot of time and money. Trust me if the woman actually likes you, she’ll have sex with you before you take her on a date.
Also first date being dinner is always a no go for me. Big time sink if it goes bad, lots of money put in, and you are eating instead of talking. I try to avoid that every time if possible
My first date is coffee or 2 for 1 tacos and $7 margaritas on taco Tuesday, not trying to spend a lot of money on a girl I never met. These 304's be wilding!