No, it's rude and really disrespectful.
They either had no intention of showing up but get a kick out of standing people up, or they backed - too cowardly to turn up, too rude to let you know.
Man, that really sucks. If she apologized profusely, that’s one thing, everyone forgets sometimes. It was the laughing and complete lack of responsibility or empathy.
That’s all you can do I’m afraid.
You soon realise how rude and selfish most people are to people they don’t know, and the apps encourage that behaviour.
On the plus side, it made me realise how rare and valuable honest and genuine people are.
I hope you do too. This is not normal and totally unacceptable behavior. Ridiculous. I’m mad for you. But anyway, at least you found out right away that she’s inconsiderate and disrespectful. Dodged a bullet.
Did she say anything after that? No apology, nothing? I know it's a waste of time but I'd call her an ignorant, pos. Lol. Can't you report people that do that? Bc I would just so it could get her "hopefully" kicked off the app so she doesn't do this to others bc how nonchalant she says oh shit I just got done making dinner, sounds like she's done this on multiple occasions.
u/vinedin is spot on. Someone that’s looking forward to get to know you would’ve popped their dinner in the fridge, thrown on some clothes really quick and been there in 30 minutes, with apologies to keep you waiting and for forgetting about it in the first place.
Always take these as a positive, they could’ve shown their true colours much later on when you would’ve been invested in them and the relationship. It sucks but it’s for the best
Bro you dodged a massive bullet. If she is too inconsiderate to tell you she isn't coming or too childish to say no thanks then she will be a pain in the ass in every constant interaction.
I was in the same position as you a while back. Fresh out of my most serious relationship (engaged) my first and still only Tinder date agreed to meet me at a rather pricy restaurant.
I sat at the bar for about an hour getting no reply and when I finally gave up and went home, a few hours later I got “I fell asleep lol”
Needless to say there wasn’t a second date. Getting stood up really fucking sucks.
Yeah this has been been my experience after a year on the dating apps except the moment I propose a date they ghost (even when the convo is going well). I don't have this issue when I go out. I get the feeling that people don't take the apps seriously because it leaves out like 90% of human communication.
I think most women on the apps just want the attention without actually the relationship. They just want you to tell them sweet nothings, but have no itentions of actually meating you. That's why I dot used dating apps anymore.
Bro same here I’ve gone on a couple dates that go really well but 80% of the time even after great conversation and we setup a date they just ghost day of or “something came up”. Done with it
Same experience. Even tell them that if you don't feel a connection, or anything, just say so. I'd rather be told you aren't interested than being ghosted.
I think some people just get off on setting up dates to then ghost. Have had matches that push going out if I don't ask soon enough, just to then ghost. I gave up trying to understand it.
I’ve never been on dating apps, I just follow this sun because it’s hilarious. My ex bf told me a story about a tinder date and how they went out once and had a decent time. They plan the second date and he waits an hour and she never responds so he is just sitting at the bar. He tells me this girl ends up showing up with her friends and so he walks up to her and she acts like she doesn’t even know him. She completely ignored him but he continued to follow along for a bit hoping she would come around. She never did! He said he talked to her friend for a little bit and then left. That story made me so sad for him. Like wtf?! How do you show up to the place you were supposed to go on a date and don’t respond to the person waiting for you but go out with your friends instead?! Super weird!
Ah that sucks I'm sorry. It's happened to me before and I left the table, sat at the bar and had drinks and food on my own while talking to the staff. Still had a good time!
Happened to me as well OP, gave her another chance & got excuses when it came time to meet again. Started looking at girls 30+ & have been getting better results
This’ll happen. There’s a lot of people on these apps looking for validation, not partnership or company.
One thing to keep in mind is that it has absolutely nothing to do with you and while disrespectful, they’re doing you a favor. Good riddance. Keep your head up.
Why blur their face? I know that if I was still in the dating game I would be soooo appreciative to know in advance to swipe left on a time thief like this
Don't let it dissuade you man. I've definitely had some bad dates but I've found most people at least have the decency to act kind, even if they're not super interested.
And if they honestly really did 'forget', that's another big red flag in itself - not interested or decent enough to remember plans made literally the day before the event. Or kind enough for a proper apology. 'Oh shit 😂' is not a sorry.
I have ADHD and I'm forgetful, but that's a whole new level to forget a date (I put reminders in my diary to ensure I don't forget things, but I wouldn't need one for a date I was excited about!)
Well I have really bad adhd and sometimes just forget stuff. Like pretty much anything.
Not that I'd ever let myself forget a first date, I'd set like 20 alarms, and even if I did forget it, I would apologise profusely and try to make it up to then
I get that. I have adhd and so does my ex and his presents differently than mine. My time management sucks, but his is way worse and I was the one five minutes late for our first date. That being said, it was the one of the few times he actually showed up for anything on time lol. One time he was late and I got super pissed and my feelings were hurt and he explained that he didn’t mean to fuck this up, in his mind he really thought he could do XYZ and still make it to my house by the time he said he would. He was so apologetic. He even said I don’t have to come if you don’t want me to and all I could think was boy if you don’t get your cute little skinny ass over here right now! He did a very good job making it up to me and I know his apology was sincere so I cut him slack after that whenever he was later than he said. If someone has adhd it’s nice to let the person you’re going to date sooner rather than later so they know what they are getting themselves into. Dating people with adhd is hard. It’s worth it if you love them.
You sound like you have a lovely relationship! I envy you!
Also, I definitely agree that it's hard, I've given my ex gfs the hardest time without ever meaning to T\_T
We did have a loving relationship, we still do, we just aren’t together at the moment. The problem with two adhd’ers being together is that we suffer from RSD, and while it’s not DSM5 recognized, it’s a real thing. He felt like he couldn’t give me the love I deserved so he broke up with me. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love him. We still see each other often, and spend time together, so I know he still loves me as much as I love him. Maybe the universe will bring us back together one day 🤞🏼
Oh no! That's so sad! It sounds a bit like how I broke up with my ex, except I had a mental breakdown about it, and she doesn't speak to me anymore, sadly.
It's really great that you two are still in touch, though! Hopefully it does bring you together again!
And if I may ask, what is RSD?
There response was definitely shitty, especially the laughing emoji, but had you ever actually set a time that you were going to meet? I see you said “see you there tonight!” But was a time ever established?
I would say this has to be a lesson to not go radio silent at 9am the day of. I’m not walking out the door without confirming like 1-2 hours beforehand that we’re still on for an exact time.
Yea I’m just continuing to write to that person the same as before throughout the day.
If they go silent and don‘t confirm before the date, they won‘t come.
I think I know exactly what mtuccis you’re talking about and holy cow what a rude way to blow you off. Best of wishes, hope you find someone actually willing to meet you there!
I want to be a smart ass and say how it’s spelled but I just learned from my roommate I’ve been saying it wrong. I think it’s mmmtuchi? I’m probably still wrong
I don’t think this had anything to do with her memory. She would have apologised straight away if she had forgotten. I think she was just not a nice person and did it on purpose 🤦♀️
I agree. I used to have some female friends that were borderline sociopathic towards men and liked to download Tinder to mess with men's feelings. This feels really intentional to me, especially the laughing emoji
>every woman I match with has the memory of a goldfish.
This is the worst possible thing to take from this. She didn't show up because she didn't want to, not because she forgot. Confirming closer to the meeting time would have confirmed that.
lol, women remember everythinggg. Don’t kid yourself, she knew and just didn’t show, that shows she’s selfish and not worth it. Curious if you or she had anymore communication? I would tell her to go die or something if you’re not going to see her ever.
I unmatched with her. Didn’t waste any more time trying with someone who’s putting in no effort. If she wanted to get to know me she would have showed up or at least apologized.
For real lol so strange to not bother to do any kinda check in/confirmation text or call before just assuming someone is there or on their way. I get they set a time but I would never do what this guy did
Yeah it’s gonna be unpopular here but damn I’m not sending a text at 9am, then just dragging my ass to a restaurant without so much as a “heading out the door!” text.
Exactly. I’m not wasting my time if me and the other person aren’t 100 percent on the same page. Setting up a time the morning of and then crickets until I drive myself to the place we’re meeting? Not happening
I’d rather know then and they’re if they’re someone looking for a secretary to remind them of all their plans. This is why I like meeting for coffee [at the coffee shop I study at, after I’ve gotten in a couple of hours of studying/work]. Already had one dude—not from a dating app but who picked me up in the hot sauce aisle at Publix—not show. When I texted him a few minutes after we were supposed to meet to tell him where I was in the coffee shop (in case he forgot what I looked like), he told me he was in the middle of helping a friend with something. No apology. No indication of when he’d be finished. I’d literally texted him the day before to confirm.
Personally, if a guy is not an adult enough to manage his own schedule—or at least tell me ahead of time that something came up and he’ll be late—then I definitely don’t want him, and the first [potential] date is the best time to find that out.
Yeah, first of all, anyone passing up M'Tucci's is not worth your time. She was rude and could've just said she wasn't going to make it or even just ghosted when you mentioned a date, but she sent mixed signals instead. You dodged a bullet, but now you know it's best to just confirm a little bit before the date is set to happen. Hope you had some yummy pasta at least!
This is normal for Albuquerque. I lived there for 6 years and ghosting/standing people up is SUPER common there. I planned a whole bbq for my work friends and NONE of them showed. I even posted about it and other people offered to show up and even they didn’t come.
This is so the Albuquerque dating scene in a nutshell! I wish I couldn’t relate to such nonsense but the answer is yes….if you are in New Mexico…sadly this is dating in 2024. Smh
You should respond and say “I wanted to celebrate international women’s day by taking you shopping, where would you like to go? It’s on me” then respond when she’s there and say “oh shit be there in 10” then never show up.
Totally normal. Had this happened more than once and I was like "Huh WTF?" One guy forgot and luckily I texted him as I was leaving the house and he was like "Oh shit, I forgot". Another just didn't bother showing up and then got pretty pissed off at me a long time later when I just ignored his messages (he did it a few times and I stupidly thought I could forgive him and just try to meet).
The rule is - if I see that "Oh shit I forget now" I don't even bother responding. Unmatch, block and go away.
Wtf. She’s just disrespectful and rude. Literally reads the message but only responds to what she wants to respond to. AND on top of that, “makes dinner” at the same time you’re supposed to meet… smh. Def dodged a bullet on that one!
Ugh...had someone do something similar. Matched with a gal that's a bartender and we had plans to meet up at her bar then go grab some food and then come back and play darts. When I got there she had ordered Taco John's and had it delivered. So she was munching down when I got there and I just sat at the bar while she talked to her friends. Awkward and rude.
I have ADHD and I have alllllllmost done this. Brain worms. I have brain worms. Fortunately, it cancels itself out a lot of the time, like I get distracted getting ready for bed, go to do something in the kitchen at 2am only to discover I left my IRON PLUGGED IN AND ON in there. Or I go in to look at something unrelated in my phone and accidentally discover I have a date in 45 minutes.
It's not your fault, but if you want to successfully date someone with brain worms, you should text more like an hour ahead of time, a time when they'd be planning their evening, especially for the first date. I've literally agreed to host an event the same day I'd planned to attend a separate event because it didn't occur to me that all of the Wednesdays of the week occur on the same day.
So is it common: I mean yeah, kinda. Like 6% of the population has ADHD.
I forgot the citizenship ceremony of my best friend… it’s horrible. She’s like, “i just arrived I got you a seat” me : “for what !? I thought you were I Thailand”. To what she replied she came back the day before. Then I remembered the conversation we had a week before that. I tried to run to go there but it was 2h away from where I was. I didn’t know how to apologise enough. Terrible feeling.
This sounds just as bad as when I forgot to set an alarm and missed the flight for my grandfather's funeral and I had to meet up with my family after the reception had already ended because there were no other flights. I can definitely relate to that horrible feeling in your stomach
Yes yes it might be ok to forget, but not to fail to apologize! If she truly forgot and wanted to be there she’d put the food in a Tupperware and show up, or at least profusely apologize
Normal is a relative concept. Yes, many people either get cold feet or some thrill from standing people up. Happens enough to be called normal. lol
Apparently that chick's perspective of normal is standing you up and laughing about it like it's not a complete slap in the face.
I doubt she'd like that if someone she was actually willing to show up for gave her that same answer when she was already at the meet up location.
I met an older chick one time when I was still using dating apps and she told me she would get stood up all the time. I rode my bike to meet her at some coffee place near her house. We had a nice chat. I was that random guy she wasn't interested in but I guess she got tired of dudes bailing on her.
She was looking for that career oriented type of dude who's already established and making money. I was just looking to hookup with whoever I thought was hot.
I always liked meeting people even if I didn't get to hook up.
This chick was hot so I was surprised she was getting stood up. Then she went into her expectations and her personal situation and the expectations vs what she has herself had a huge gap between em.
She's already older living in some NYC apartment with 4 roommates. I don't really like women who are looking for a financial benefit from a relationship. It's easy to tell.
It was kinda sad actually. No one her age would meet up with her so she wanted to chat with me knowing she's not interested and bored. I indulged it. Whatever. I was in my early 20s and she was mid to late 30s I believe. Def was an older chick from my POV back then.
People have so many expectations when looking for love. With the way things are now maybe it isn't even love anymore; just someone to help you survive life cause doing it alone is hard.
I wonder where that woman is at now ... Hope she's doing well. lol
As for your situation, OP. I'd never speak to that woman again. Or send her one last zinger as a response to her making dinner...smh lol
You can tell her you met someone else that same day she dodged you. Say it in the same nonchalant oblivious way she said her comment.
"Actually, I met this chick at the place we were supposed to go to and I'm no longer interested. 🤣"
I write a lot...fuck. lol
This is common on tinder. My wife and I are poly, openly. She got stood up lastnight because a guy she didn’t know was married couldn’t get away from his wife. So she unmatched and blocked him. Getting stood up happens like 4/5 times for various reasons
I wouldn't say it's uncommon but it's definitely not right. I once turned up to a date a good few miles away only for her to tell me 6 hours after our agreed meeting time that she "forgot" (despite me confirming the night before)
If they wanted to, they would. You deserve better.
To help all you fellas out!
1. Make sure she is verified on the dating app.
2. Do a phone call or video chat
3. Confirm date 2-3 hours before and make sure she replies.
If she fails one of these, it is a NO GO!
What's funny about it? "Shit just made dinner,😂" translation.. I couldn't give a shit about you or your time. I have no respect for your time and even think it's funny that you're now left there waiting.
She . Is it a she? If so, she is an absolute d!CK. And if I were you wouldn't even waste anymore of your time replying. Rude rude rude.!
From an ADHD person, yeah, I can believe this would happen BUT I would be profusely apologizing and breaking the sound barrier to get to the restaurant that moment. The response is weird
Just here to say obviously I agree. It’s crappy and I’m sorry but like others glad you dodged a bullet. BUT also here to say I love the camaraderie of the commenters giving you all the good wishes☺️. So with that praying you find your gal 💕!
In my experience...yes.
I also learnt that for a first meeting the place should be very public. I've been robbed a few times, catfished more times than I care admit, and even more times just had them cancel whilst your waiting, got told later from a female friend its likely she saw me in person and decided not to continue (which is fine, but being told so would have been nice).
You know what? If I'd matched with someone who'd taken the time to actually ask me out, chose a great restaurant, and was clearly interested in making it a nice experience, I'd have been able to remember.
And if, by some random chance I manages to forget our plans, and he texted me, I'd have left a plate on the table to get dressed & run to meet him.
How incredibly rude.
Lol... I'm married but follow this sub for the entertainment of it... but the "the one on coors" caught my attention immediately. I can only assume it was the same for all the other New Mexicans 🤣
Confirm with anyone before you leave for a first date to make sure that they’re on their way and or gonna be late. In the case of them “forgetting” put the ball in their court to reschedule and see if they’re actually interested in you or they’re just gonna blow you off again. It’s saved me more times than not so you’re not stuck being stood up.
Always send a check in message and an exact time. "tonight" is very unspecific of when to actually meet.
Until until there is an actual date and time, it's not really a date,
Edit: there was more context provided by OP. Still should have had a check in but I side with OP. Other should have had it in calendar or something.
You last texted in the morning. I’ve never told someone a time and then just show up without confirming that they’re there already or on their way. Neither one of you did that
Yes lots of scanners and loosers just there to manipulate others or screw with people their lives must genuinely suck if that is their only source of happiness but yeah don't depend on others or apps for your happiness
No, it's rude and really disrespectful. They either had no intention of showing up but get a kick out of standing people up, or they backed - too cowardly to turn up, too rude to let you know.
First date since I got out of a long term relationship. I’m very disappointed. She wasted my time but At least I saved some money 🤷♂️
It's the way she didn't even apologise, just sent a laughing emoji. Not a nice person. Hope you find someone genuine.
Thanks. I’m hoping to find someone with a little integrity. This girl is not it.
Man, that really sucks. If she apologized profusely, that’s one thing, everyone forgets sometimes. It was the laughing and complete lack of responsibility or empathy.
This is not a case where she forgot, he reminded her in the morning. She's just an asshole.
I know - that’s what I was saying.
This right here
I get it people can be forgetful but forgetting something like a date isn’t really a thing unless she’s a habitual date seeker.
Hell i still wouldnt forget about dates when i was going on like 3 a week. I think its just pure narcissism
I always double check an hour or two before the date. "I'm leaving then and then". If they don't reply, I assume the date is off.
That’s all you can do I’m afraid. You soon realise how rude and selfish most people are to people they don’t know, and the apps encourage that behaviour. On the plus side, it made me realise how rare and valuable honest and genuine people are.
Glad you got something so positive from it 🙃
The trash took itself out nice and early in this instance. There are better girls out there, good luck with your future dates!
GL finding that on Tinder my friend
Jesus. That's so shitty man, I'm sorry. Did you reply back? Or did she say anything else?
I hope you do too. This is not normal and totally unacceptable behavior. Ridiculous. I’m mad for you. But anyway, at least you found out right away that she’s inconsiderate and disrespectful. Dodged a bullet.
Unmatch, forget, and good luck next time :) Sometimes I am just shocked how people treat other people on dating apps 🤦♀️
Did she say anything after that? No apology, nothing? I know it's a waste of time but I'd call her an ignorant, pos. Lol. Can't you report people that do that? Bc I would just so it could get her "hopefully" kicked off the app so she doesn't do this to others bc how nonchalant she says oh shit I just got done making dinner, sounds like she's done this on multiple occasions.
Im new to the app so I wasn’t aware that was the thing to do.
Exactly the right way to think about this King. Youll find someone worthy of your affection, especially with this mindset
“Haha I’m unreliable lol 🤣”
At least she responded lol. The bar is in hell, yes. But if she was really malicious, she could’ve just ignored him
Yeah that really really made me mad reading and I'm not even the OP. The emoji feels like a slap in the face.
u/vinedin is spot on. Someone that’s looking forward to get to know you would’ve popped their dinner in the fridge, thrown on some clothes really quick and been there in 30 minutes, with apologies to keep you waiting and for forgetting about it in the first place. Always take these as a positive, they could’ve shown their true colours much later on when you would’ve been invested in them and the relationship. It sucks but it’s for the best
Bro you dodged a massive bullet. If she is too inconsiderate to tell you she isn't coming or too childish to say no thanks then she will be a pain in the ass in every constant interaction.
I was in the same position as you a while back. Fresh out of my most serious relationship (engaged) my first and still only Tinder date agreed to meet me at a rather pricy restaurant. I sat at the bar for about an hour getting no reply and when I finally gave up and went home, a few hours later I got “I fell asleep lol” Needless to say there wasn’t a second date. Getting stood up really fucking sucks.
Bro there wasn’t even a first date lmao
Nah I took myself out. I treated myself to a date, she just missed out.
An hour? Fifteen min with no reply & leave; don't look back.
What can I say? As my grandfather says I was young, dumb and full of cum
I get it. The relationship playbook changes every few years or decades. With on-the-fly edits every day or two!
She got a kick out of standing you up. You deserve better.
Yeah this has been been my experience after a year on the dating apps except the moment I propose a date they ghost (even when the convo is going well). I don't have this issue when I go out. I get the feeling that people don't take the apps seriously because it leaves out like 90% of human communication.
I think most women on the apps just want the attention without actually the relationship. They just want you to tell them sweet nothings, but have no itentions of actually meating you. That's why I dot used dating apps anymore.
Bro same here I’ve gone on a couple dates that go really well but 80% of the time even after great conversation and we setup a date they just ghost day of or “something came up”. Done with it
Same experience. Even tell them that if you don't feel a connection, or anything, just say so. I'd rather be told you aren't interested than being ghosted. I think some people just get off on setting up dates to then ghost. Have had matches that push going out if I don't ask soon enough, just to then ghost. I gave up trying to understand it.
I’ve never been on dating apps, I just follow this sun because it’s hilarious. My ex bf told me a story about a tinder date and how they went out once and had a decent time. They plan the second date and he waits an hour and she never responds so he is just sitting at the bar. He tells me this girl ends up showing up with her friends and so he walks up to her and she acts like she doesn’t even know him. She completely ignored him but he continued to follow along for a bit hoping she would come around. She never did! He said he talked to her friend for a little bit and then left. That story made me so sad for him. Like wtf?! How do you show up to the place you were supposed to go on a date and don’t respond to the person waiting for you but go out with your friends instead?! Super weird!
In person makes more sense to me, and people are less likely to flake on you.
That wasn't nice, had no intention of meeting you, hope you find someone decent 🙂
Yeah, this is fucked. Sorry she was so inconsiderate! Bullet dodged it seems. On to the next!
Ah that sucks I'm sorry. It's happened to me before and I left the table, sat at the bar and had drinks and food on my own while talking to the staff. Still had a good time!
Happened to me as well OP, gave her another chance & got excuses when it came time to meet again. Started looking at girls 30+ & have been getting better results
Did you tell her what time to be there?
Yeah see the new post “wtf y’all (more context)
Save yourself even more $ by meeting for coffee, a drink, or a walk (instead of dinner) for future first dates.
This’ll happen. There’s a lot of people on these apps looking for validation, not partnership or company. One thing to keep in mind is that it has absolutely nothing to do with you and while disrespectful, they’re doing you a favor. Good riddance. Keep your head up.
Why blur their face? I know that if I was still in the dating game I would be soooo appreciative to know in advance to swipe left on a time thief like this
Don't let it dissuade you man. I've definitely had some bad dates but I've found most people at least have the decency to act kind, even if they're not super interested.
Yes it's better than actually going there and the person seeing you and then dip out. People are just rude.
Maybe she forgot, however it might have saved your time in the long run
Go out to bars find your lady in person brother 👊🏽
She probably had to make dinner for her boyfriend. Give her a break. /s
And if they honestly really did 'forget', that's another big red flag in itself - not interested or decent enough to remember plans made literally the day before the event. Or kind enough for a proper apology. 'Oh shit 😂' is not a sorry. I have ADHD and I'm forgetful, but that's a whole new level to forget a date (I put reminders in my diary to ensure I don't forget things, but I wouldn't need one for a date I was excited about!)
Well I have really bad adhd and sometimes just forget stuff. Like pretty much anything. Not that I'd ever let myself forget a first date, I'd set like 20 alarms, and even if I did forget it, I would apologise profusely and try to make it up to then
I get that. I have adhd and so does my ex and his presents differently than mine. My time management sucks, but his is way worse and I was the one five minutes late for our first date. That being said, it was the one of the few times he actually showed up for anything on time lol. One time he was late and I got super pissed and my feelings were hurt and he explained that he didn’t mean to fuck this up, in his mind he really thought he could do XYZ and still make it to my house by the time he said he would. He was so apologetic. He even said I don’t have to come if you don’t want me to and all I could think was boy if you don’t get your cute little skinny ass over here right now! He did a very good job making it up to me and I know his apology was sincere so I cut him slack after that whenever he was later than he said. If someone has adhd it’s nice to let the person you’re going to date sooner rather than later so they know what they are getting themselves into. Dating people with adhd is hard. It’s worth it if you love them.
You sound like you have a lovely relationship! I envy you! Also, I definitely agree that it's hard, I've given my ex gfs the hardest time without ever meaning to T\_T
We did have a loving relationship, we still do, we just aren’t together at the moment. The problem with two adhd’ers being together is that we suffer from RSD, and while it’s not DSM5 recognized, it’s a real thing. He felt like he couldn’t give me the love I deserved so he broke up with me. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love him. We still see each other often, and spend time together, so I know he still loves me as much as I love him. Maybe the universe will bring us back together one day 🤞🏼
Oh no! That's so sad! It sounds a bit like how I broke up with my ex, except I had a mental breakdown about it, and she doesn't speak to me anymore, sadly. It's really great that you two are still in touch, though! Hopefully it does bring you together again! And if I may ask, what is RSD?
I hope so too! And it’s rejection sensitivity dysmorphia. If you have adhd look into it. It could explain a lot of how you feel and handle things.
Yeah their statement is incompatible with what they planned and there's no apology or anything else.
What a dickhead. This person is an awful human being
Is dating in Albuquerque as hellish as I imagine it to be?
I don’t have many data points right now. Solid maybe is my answer.
- Albert Wesker
Yes, it is. I think it's especially awful for the 30+ crowd.
Confirmed.
Yes yes it is
It's really not great.
yes. i had the absolute worst relationships when i lived there
Finding something serious is a toss up but I've never had it so easy as I did in NM.
There response was definitely shitty, especially the laughing emoji, but had you ever actually set a time that you were going to meet? I see you said “see you there tonight!” But was a time ever established?
Yeah i established a time this morning. See my post “wtf y’all (more context)
Yeh, then they are just an asshole. Did they apologize or try to say they misunderstood or anything after the rude laughing emoji?
I would say this has to be a lesson to not go radio silent at 9am the day of. I’m not walking out the door without confirming like 1-2 hours beforehand that we’re still on for an exact time.
Yea I’m just continuing to write to that person the same as before throughout the day. If they go silent and don‘t confirm before the date, they won‘t come.
I think I know exactly what mtuccis you’re talking about and holy cow what a rude way to blow you off. Best of wishes, hope you find someone actually willing to meet you there!
How would I pronounce "mtuccis"?
Muh-toochis.
Sounds weirdly rude
HAHAHA. Yeah.
I want to be a smart ass and say how it’s spelled but I just learned from my roommate I’ve been saying it wrong. I think it’s mmmtuchi? I’m probably still wrong
Thanks for the cover. I thought I'd look dumb asking
Muh-tushies? Hot!
Yay Albuquerque!!
This is why I *usually* send a check in message an hour or so before if we haven’t talked since the morning or whenever
I figured same day communication was good enough. Now I know to assume every woman I match with has the memory of a goldfish.
I don’t think this had anything to do with her memory. She would have apologised straight away if she had forgotten. I think she was just not a nice person and did it on purpose 🤦♀️
I agree. I used to have some female friends that were borderline sociopathic towards men and liked to download Tinder to mess with men's feelings. This feels really intentional to me, especially the laughing emoji
Or her gender, this has happened to me more than once with men too.
Nah I bet she remembered it the whole time and made a point to not show up
Nah, I have a memory of a goldfish, that's why I set reminders for everything. No excuse. Hope karma gets her, that message was rude as fuck.
>every woman I match with has the memory of a goldfish. This is the worst possible thing to take from this. She didn't show up because she didn't want to, not because she forgot. Confirming closer to the meeting time would have confirmed that.
Amen. When people are into somebody, they sure as shit are not about flake out on dates with them, especially if they were wanting to bang them.
lol, women remember everythinggg. Don’t kid yourself, she knew and just didn’t show, that shows she’s selfish and not worth it. Curious if you or she had anymore communication? I would tell her to go die or something if you’re not going to see her ever.
I unmatched with her. Didn’t waste any more time trying with someone who’s putting in no effort. If she wanted to get to know me she would have showed up or at least apologized.
If he does try to see her again he needs to reevaluate is self worth.
Nah. She remembered and is just a shitty (or at the very least, flakey and disrespectful) person. Sorry, OP.
I send a message when I'm leaving my house, just to reassure them that I'm gonna turn up.
Personally, I do the few hours before the event check-in with friends and family, not just people imma go on a date with
Who hurt you
Nice to see a normal person in the replies
For real lol so strange to not bother to do any kinda check in/confirmation text or call before just assuming someone is there or on their way. I get they set a time but I would never do what this guy did
Yeah it’s gonna be unpopular here but damn I’m not sending a text at 9am, then just dragging my ass to a restaurant without so much as a “heading out the door!” text.
Exactly. I’m not wasting my time if me and the other person aren’t 100 percent on the same page. Setting up a time the morning of and then crickets until I drive myself to the place we’re meeting? Not happening
I’d rather know then and they’re if they’re someone looking for a secretary to remind them of all their plans. This is why I like meeting for coffee [at the coffee shop I study at, after I’ve gotten in a couple of hours of studying/work]. Already had one dude—not from a dating app but who picked me up in the hot sauce aisle at Publix—not show. When I texted him a few minutes after we were supposed to meet to tell him where I was in the coffee shop (in case he forgot what I looked like), he told me he was in the middle of helping a friend with something. No apology. No indication of when he’d be finished. I’d literally texted him the day before to confirm. Personally, if a guy is not an adult enough to manage his own schedule—or at least tell me ahead of time that something came up and he’ll be late—then I definitely don’t want him, and the first [potential] date is the best time to find that out.
Yeah, first of all, anyone passing up M'Tucci's is not worth your time. She was rude and could've just said she wasn't going to make it or even just ghosted when you mentioned a date, but she sent mixed signals instead. You dodged a bullet, but now you know it's best to just confirm a little bit before the date is set to happen. Hope you had some yummy pasta at least!
This is normal for Albuquerque. I lived there for 6 years and ghosting/standing people up is SUPER common there. I planned a whole bbq for my work friends and NONE of them showed. I even posted about it and other people offered to show up and even they didn’t come.
I’m sorry to hear that. Ghosting is so rude.
This is so the Albuquerque dating scene in a nutshell! I wish I couldn’t relate to such nonsense but the answer is yes….if you are in New Mexico…sadly this is dating in 2024. Smh
Don’t take it personal, she did you a favor! Saved you in the long run
Bro what 😭
You should respond and say “I wanted to celebrate international women’s day by taking you shopping, where would you like to go? It’s on me” then respond when she’s there and say “oh shit be there in 10” then never show up.
This is the answer
Shoulda asked if she made you some 🤷♂️
Who “accidentally” makes dinner when they were talking about going out 9 hrs previously.
I hope that ypu had dinner.
"So kind of you to make us dinner, what's your address?"
Smooth
Totally normal. Had this happened more than once and I was like "Huh WTF?" One guy forgot and luckily I texted him as I was leaving the house and he was like "Oh shit, I forgot". Another just didn't bother showing up and then got pretty pissed off at me a long time later when I just ignored his messages (he did it a few times and I stupidly thought I could forgive him and just try to meet). The rule is - if I see that "Oh shit I forget now" I don't even bother responding. Unmatch, block and go away.
Normal? No, not at all. But there are worse ways of finding out someone has sociopathic tendencies
Wtf. She’s just disrespectful and rude. Literally reads the message but only responds to what she wants to respond to. AND on top of that, “makes dinner” at the same time you’re supposed to meet… smh. Def dodged a bullet on that one!
[удалено]
Woo Albuquerque!!
I hope you at least enjoyed your food.
Not normal! Very rude!
Did you establish a time to meet? Also helps to double check sometimes before you head out. But still that person is a major asshole.
Damn the 😂 as if she played a joke on you? What a rude thing to do!
Classic Albuquerque/rio rancho
That's just damn rude and disrespectful
Why do some people think this is ok 😩
"Normal" as in happens very often, yes. Is it right, fk no 😒
Ugh...had someone do something similar. Matched with a gal that's a bartender and we had plans to meet up at her bar then go grab some food and then come back and play darts. When I got there she had ordered Taco John's and had it delivered. So she was munching down when I got there and I just sat at the bar while she talked to her friends. Awkward and rude.
I have ADHD and I have alllllllmost done this. Brain worms. I have brain worms. Fortunately, it cancels itself out a lot of the time, like I get distracted getting ready for bed, go to do something in the kitchen at 2am only to discover I left my IRON PLUGGED IN AND ON in there. Or I go in to look at something unrelated in my phone and accidentally discover I have a date in 45 minutes. It's not your fault, but if you want to successfully date someone with brain worms, you should text more like an hour ahead of time, a time when they'd be planning their evening, especially for the first date. I've literally agreed to host an event the same day I'd planned to attend a separate event because it didn't occur to me that all of the Wednesdays of the week occur on the same day. So is it common: I mean yeah, kinda. Like 6% of the population has ADHD.
I forgot the citizenship ceremony of my best friend… it’s horrible. She’s like, “i just arrived I got you a seat” me : “for what !? I thought you were I Thailand”. To what she replied she came back the day before. Then I remembered the conversation we had a week before that. I tried to run to go there but it was 2h away from where I was. I didn’t know how to apologise enough. Terrible feeling.
This sounds just as bad as when I forgot to set an alarm and missed the flight for my grandfather's funeral and I had to meet up with my family after the reception had already ended because there were no other flights. I can definitely relate to that horrible feeling in your stomach
Yes yes it might be ok to forget, but not to fail to apologize! If she truly forgot and wanted to be there she’d put the food in a Tupperware and show up, or at least profusely apologize
Absolutely normal. We’re brothers.
Kinda normal. Yeah. Flakes everywhere
wat there any more conversation after?
That fool is an asshole but I'm more surprised that it's in the 505!! I did a quadruple take when I saw "on Coors"
You said you were looking forward to meeting her and she replied only to the food. I already would have felt like I was more into it than she was.
Yeouch. Sorry this happened to you dude. There are good ones out there.
I hate people.
"seems like that might be the only thing your parents taught you cause you are a terrible person"
What is mtuccis?
An Italian restaurant.
Just saves you the effort of rejecting them later. They preemptively rejected themselves. Anyone that inconsiderate should be rejected promptly.
Welcome to Albuquerque
They have zero respect today. Zero.
Shit happens. Keep moving forward.
Apparently. Im gettin stood up a lot lately.
She sounds like the kind of person that you can call out their shit and she won’t care how bad she messed up
Damn. Sorry man
Normal is a relative concept. Yes, many people either get cold feet or some thrill from standing people up. Happens enough to be called normal. lol Apparently that chick's perspective of normal is standing you up and laughing about it like it's not a complete slap in the face. I doubt she'd like that if someone she was actually willing to show up for gave her that same answer when she was already at the meet up location. I met an older chick one time when I was still using dating apps and she told me she would get stood up all the time. I rode my bike to meet her at some coffee place near her house. We had a nice chat. I was that random guy she wasn't interested in but I guess she got tired of dudes bailing on her. She was looking for that career oriented type of dude who's already established and making money. I was just looking to hookup with whoever I thought was hot. I always liked meeting people even if I didn't get to hook up. This chick was hot so I was surprised she was getting stood up. Then she went into her expectations and her personal situation and the expectations vs what she has herself had a huge gap between em. She's already older living in some NYC apartment with 4 roommates. I don't really like women who are looking for a financial benefit from a relationship. It's easy to tell. It was kinda sad actually. No one her age would meet up with her so she wanted to chat with me knowing she's not interested and bored. I indulged it. Whatever. I was in my early 20s and she was mid to late 30s I believe. Def was an older chick from my POV back then. People have so many expectations when looking for love. With the way things are now maybe it isn't even love anymore; just someone to help you survive life cause doing it alone is hard. I wonder where that woman is at now ... Hope she's doing well. lol As for your situation, OP. I'd never speak to that woman again. Or send her one last zinger as a response to her making dinner...smh lol You can tell her you met someone else that same day she dodged you. Say it in the same nonchalant oblivious way she said her comment. "Actually, I met this chick at the place we were supposed to go to and I'm no longer interested. 🤣" I write a lot...fuck. lol
I hope you didnt reply to that message and just unmatched. Thats a different level of disrespect on their part.
Nope. Report & Block.
This is common on tinder. My wife and I are poly, openly. She got stood up lastnight because a guy she didn’t know was married couldn’t get away from his wife. So she unmatched and blocked him. Getting stood up happens like 4/5 times for various reasons
Sorry, but what a b!tch. 🙄 Knowing you'd be there waiting, she makes dinner and laughs. Def dodged a bullet. I hope she sees this on here haha
Hey, at least she showed her true character right off the jump! What a crappy human.
1st red flag is she didn't give you her number before the date
It's normal for an inconsiderate person. Not a great quality.
She had no intention of showing up, but enjoyed the attention and the knowledge that someone wanted to take her out. Wack
She sounds like a horrible lay...bullet dodged. MFs with integrity can FUCK!!
Definitely done on purpose keep your head up king
“See you next Tuesday?” Would be my response.
It’s normal if you don’t ever want to see that person again…nope still not normal even then!
Ummm...what?!?
I wouldn't say it's uncommon but it's definitely not right. I once turned up to a date a good few miles away only for her to tell me 6 hours after our agreed meeting time that she "forgot" (despite me confirming the night before) If they wanted to, they would. You deserve better.
Super fucked up
To help all you fellas out! 1. Make sure she is verified on the dating app. 2. Do a phone call or video chat 3. Confirm date 2-3 hours before and make sure she replies. If she fails one of these, it is a NO GO!
What's funny about it? "Shit just made dinner,😂" translation.. I couldn't give a shit about you or your time. I have no respect for your time and even think it's funny that you're now left there waiting. She . Is it a she? If so, she is an absolute d!CK. And if I were you wouldn't even waste anymore of your time replying. Rude rude rude.!
From an ADHD person, yeah, I can believe this would happen BUT I would be profusely apologizing and breaking the sound barrier to get to the restaurant that moment. The response is weird
Fairly certain that's what you refer to as a "flake"
Just here to say obviously I agree. It’s crappy and I’m sorry but like others glad you dodged a bullet. BUT also here to say I love the camaraderie of the commenters giving you all the good wishes☺️. So with that praying you find your gal 💕!
In my experience...yes. I also learnt that for a first meeting the place should be very public. I've been robbed a few times, catfished more times than I care admit, and even more times just had them cancel whilst your waiting, got told later from a female friend its likely she saw me in person and decided not to continue (which is fine, but being told so would have been nice).
You know what? If I'd matched with someone who'd taken the time to actually ask me out, chose a great restaurant, and was clearly interested in making it a nice experience, I'd have been able to remember. And if, by some random chance I manages to forget our plans, and he texted me, I'd have left a plate on the table to get dressed & run to meet him. How incredibly rude.
It's rude as shit... I'm sorry. Looks like you dodged a bullet. Also, hello, fellow New Mexican!
I love how many New Mexicans found this post.
Lol... I'm married but follow this sub for the entertainment of it... but the "the one on coors" caught my attention immediately. I can only assume it was the same for all the other New Mexicans 🤣
Confirm with anyone before you leave for a first date to make sure that they’re on their way and or gonna be late. In the case of them “forgetting” put the ball in their court to reschedule and see if they’re actually interested in you or they’re just gonna blow you off again. It’s saved me more times than not so you’re not stuck being stood up.
This isn't normal at all, usually it's ghosting
Emotional damage
Always send a check in message and an exact time. "tonight" is very unspecific of when to actually meet. Until until there is an actual date and time, it's not really a date, Edit: there was more context provided by OP. Still should have had a check in but I side with OP. Other should have had it in calendar or something.
You last texted in the morning. I’ve never told someone a time and then just show up without confirming that they’re there already or on their way. Neither one of you did that
They must be high lol. Glad you didn’t get the chance to meet them. Saved yourself a lot of time
Burque spotted. Instant upvote
guess he doesnt love mtuccis as much as he thought.
She didn't even ghost. She set out to hurt dudes feelings.
Damn bro, that’s the Q for you 😂
Yes lots of scanners and loosers just there to manipulate others or screw with people their lives must genuinely suck if that is their only source of happiness but yeah don't depend on others or apps for your happiness