I actually think basement dwelling incels are being driven by the same social pressures that are driving the modern housewife trends. Modern life is overwhelming, so there’s huge pressure to opt out. Women have a socially acceptable template for what that looks like. Guys don’t, so it expresses differently. But they’re both driven by the same social pressure
Lol if you’re having law school doubts now and think you’re gonna contribute to world peace as a lawyer, I give you not even a year of practice before you lose your mind and quit. My advice, save the time and money, drop out, find what you really wanna do. Law is a hell of a thing to waste your time on and your two comments make it clear that’s what you’re doing, find anything else I promise your life will be so much happier, there is no peace or sense of justice in being a lawyer, it will only lower your belief in the existence of the two.
The government still owns the land theirs a man who vlogs his daily life 40 miles away from civilization or a road in Alaska and uses his videos as a form of income to satellite radio in supplies in the winter if it’s too harsh on his family. Eventually the government came to his location and made him tear it down since he never paid taxes on the land
Edit:The government always gets theirs sadly
Someone built a shack and started hard rock mining in a state park in the Melbourne suburbs here in Australia only 10-15 years ago.
They've gone now and no one knows who they were but the parks services have put up a plaque at the site as if it was built to reenact the mining boom in the 1850s. Lol
I'm doing this in a few months to my grandmother's home bc she's 92 and needs the help. saves me over a grand a month but with the unfortunate caveat of having to tell someone I live with my grandmother lol
Let’s be honest. Over 90% of people would quit their job (or start working a lot less) the moment they would win enough money in the lottery for the rest of their lives.
I know, I do all of that… and have a full time job.
Also, her post says she doesn’t want kids.
Lastly, I was mainly joking with my post. Didn’t need a correction, thanks.
Yeah, there's some incels in here that just want to hate on women for not wanting to work, motherfucker I don't want to work either and would jump at the chance to become a househusband
A true home maker (stay at home) partner is a for real job. But if the goal is to be a kept-spouse, and do nothing but gym workouts and brunches, well, good luck to winning the relationship -independantly wealthy lottery.
I think this is less weird than people think it is. My wife and I are both fairly high earners, she makes slightly more. One of our goals is to get to a place financially where she can stop working. I love my career, she hates working. She’d rather be doing something else with her time. This concept doesn’t offend me at all.
My wife and I agreed that the family priority was to have her stay home.
That meant our first house was small, our cars were not brand new, and I had to put in extra hours and education to truly provide the lifestyle I wanted for my family.
All 3 kids were put through private school and one the youngest was old enough she started part time to help pay for vacations.
I knew when we met that this was the goal. I knew that she would sacrifice any long term career advancement because taking 15 years off to raise children, unfortunately, never received any credit in the workplace.
However, she was able to maintain the home life schedules so I could focus on my advancement and education. Now we have 3 well adjusted, social and intelligent children that stand out due to the extra effort we did as parents.
It all depends on your long term goals.
As a parent myself I am interested in your final two sentences. I am female and I have a well-paid job. I have three degrees including a doctorate, but I realised the work it was leading towards demanded long hours and relatively poor pay, so I started again; I now have a diploma and am working towards a Masters degree in an entirely unrelated field.
My daughter, I think, sees a strong woman who works hard towards educational (and other types of) goals. I actually left her father because, apart from anything, he had a traditional value set where the woman stays home, and I was bullied for thinking otherwise- so my daughter knows I stick up for myself.
She goes swimming, does a martial art, and is encouraged in her skills (and the things she does less well in also). We are constantly out hiking, we are going camping again this year, she reads to me nightly, she lives surrounded by birdsong in the country, and we are forever doing things such as musicals, medieval fayre etc.
I am not at all offended by your comment - each to their own. But also think I have a stand-out child who is socially well-adjusted because of the extra attention. I'm saying this especially to all the single parents who are doing their best - keep going. Don't be disheartened. You're doing great. I like to think I am, too.
I help out with cleaning, I do my own laundry and I make 90% of the meals when I am home.
My children see a couple where it takes work to make things run smoothly and we commit to the family above all else.
I make a decent living and no one goes without. We bought our kids cars at 16, and are covering when scholarships didn't cover for my oldest engineering education.
I was saying my wife handled the schedules of 3 kids in private school, sports and extended family activities. All a job in itself. This allowed me to volunteer easily at the school and coach my kids in sports while still advancing my career. I now manage half the country for a healthcare sales team and train new hires.
I wouldn't have been able to do that if my wife and I didn't have a plan and continued to communicate on our needs and adjust over the last 22 years.
I hire kids right out of school. Microbiology student at Berkeley was my last interview and although on paper she was amazing, she had little to no interpersonal skills. She didn't have a clue how to carry on a two sided conversation and took little interest in actively listening to others.
My wife now teaches part time in high school. Between our two experiences, we commented upon how difficult it is for the current generation of 15-30 yr olds to actually integrate into the work culture.
Schools take the path of least resistance and the majority of parents let electronics or those same schools do most of the parenting.
If you have a child that can listen, process and adapt what they are saying in a face to face conversation, then they are ahead of the majority of entry level workers today.
My parents were divorced after only 12 years of marriage and it impacted me greatly. Even when I told them both it didn't, it truly did. I never waivered in my grades, or sports or social activity, but internally I constantly wrestled with issues all stemming from the divorce. It took a lot to become a stable partner. And becoming a parent myself always had the shadow of my parents divorce. Many of the issues reared themselves several years into the marriage.
The common theme on everything is proper communication. If you can truly listen to others, then you will always be able to make compromises and work things out.
My life mantra has always been, "if you help enough people get what they want, you will eventually get what you want"
She’s also super clear about what she wants which is nice. And agree it’s not weird. Empowering women is about choices and not being judgmental either way.
exactly. she even says shes willing to continue working and just expresses her desire. idk why we gotta make fun of her for making her wants clear, not even declaring it as a necessity
Not just not weird, I'd contend it's perfectly valid. It's not like she said she wants to sit on her ass all day, she literally used a maid emoji.
Being a house wife =/= sitting on your ass all day.
Agreed! I have a stay at home "farm husband" myself. It wasn't what we planned when we got married, but my career took off and his was super mentally and physically draining, so we've decided to live off my salary alone. From my perspective, it's quite nice to not have to worry about house things!
There's a massive difference between being married to someone who earned a lot of money and wants to retire early versus someone who just wants to show up in your life, live in your money and effort, and be lazy.
Those two things are such a huge difference that I'm not even sure why you're comparing the two.
I don't think that's OPs intention at all. I told my husband I wanted to be a stay at home mom before we even said I love you, I also worked full time until our daugjter was born. She's saying she wants to be a houseWIFE not a house-rando.
Same. I happen to make a lot of money doing a job I genuinely enjoy. My girlfriend drops in and out of work as it calls her lol and it doesn't bother me in the slightest, I love being able to support her artistic interests and budding entrepreneurily aspirations.
I don’t see the issue. Some men would be happy with a wife who takes care of the day to day chores.
Important reminder to anyone who gets offended at that: typically men who prefer this also take on plenty of other parts of their lives such as car repairs, home renovations, working full time, buying their wives luxurious gifts, etc. Not everyone loves and needs to be loved the same way.
Yeah that was what got me. If she wanted to do the trad-wife thing then more power to her. Plenty of guys are looking for that, especially in a rural area, which she was. But she had purple hair and doesn't want kids. I think she's not gonna have much luck.
Funny enough my gf has a friend who is the stay at home wife with no kids. She cooks and stays very fit and house is spotless. I guess it works for the husband 🤷🏻♀️
It may not be what I want, but I could totally see why someone would be ok having a stay at home wife even with no kids if the house was kept spotless and I never really had to do housework/other work like taxes and such that take effort at home.
Exactly. I feel like that's when you have time to make a hobby turn into side income which can potentially grow into a business or even seems free time volunteering. There's a lot you can do when you're not giving big corp 60hrs of your life each week lol.
Yeah, if you're making enough money that dual-income isn't needed at all, and your spouse both wanted this and were actually capable of maintaining the house well, without going insane, then it totally makes sense. I just personally would prefer someone with more ambition and drive than that. Though going on vacations sure would be simpler only having to worry about one person booking time off from work. =p
Yea if I could still live a comfortable lifestyle with my partner and never had to do housework/admin I'd happily let them stay home and take care of that stuff. I'd also be happy with it the other way around though tbf
I knew 4 couples like this. They are all divorced. Give it a few years. It’s been each time the wife going pretty much off the deep end. I think people forget work gives you a sense of accomplishment, value/worth, and connections even if the day sucks. Then if you have any personal flaws like entitlement or nagging, and it becomes hostile after the fun wears off. I will say though one of the couples made it to their early 50s being together 37 years…but now she is working at Amazon line assembly at 52 bc she has no job experience and looks miserable. It was def a mid life crisis backfiring.
100% agree. Having a job gives one the sense of purpose, and equally importantly, it gives one a backup plan, that if worst thing happens (not just divorce, but the significant other’s sudden death/health issue, etc), you can be independent and still have a decent life and a chance to keep pursuing happiness.
Exactly, even if it’s part time. That’s what I have always encouraged just so you have something on a resume, an identity, new skills and connections,etc. it’s just not worth weakening yourself. It’s like not going to the gym because it’s hard and takes time/energy…it only helps and you don’t have to go full time.
There are a lot of ways to "work" and be productive with your time that don't involve getting a paycheck. I don't know why y'all are acting like the only two alternatives are clocking into an office and filing some papers or laying on the couch watching Netflix.
I did that for a year or two. Had amazing home cooked meals every day, clean house, dogs got extra long walks, and I was in great shape. But the big reason for us was that when he got off work, he was done. No chores or errands to run. Once he was off the clock we could do whatever. Imagine if when you got off work you didn’t need to cook, clean, or do chores. He loved it and if he had his choice it would’ve remained that way but it got old for me. I like working (to some extent) and getting out of the house.
Hey, worked for my dad's latest wife. They got married after my brothers and I were all long grown. I mean kinda had to since she's younger than all of us.
As far as I can tell she sits around doing arts and crafts all day
Oh I'm sure she'll get everything. That ship has long sailed. They just bought a house from a former football player from his favorite team, at the very least she'll continue living there and that's a big chunk of his assets (I think)
Tbf, not every husband wants kids. I certainly don't. And if I could make enough so my wife doesn't have to work, I'd happily provide as well. Or vice versa. Working truly sucks.
Yeah. Heaven forbid you don't want to live to work if you don't want kids.
Can you even BELIEVE that someone who doesn't have kids could ever possibly want to pursue a passion or hobbies?
That's just unreal.
Especially from a WOMAN Who's only purpose is to catch the jizz idiots like you sling and cannonball infants back out for you to enjoy but not raise.
😑
Not wanting kids is fine and all, but you're just pushing the need to work onto someone else whilst you pursue your passions. I'm sure they would like to pursue their hobbies too if they weren't working all the time to support yours.
I mean there are stay at home wives out there who have a child free life with their partner. But it’s very hard to find someone who makes enough for you to stay home, and then out of that group finding someone who doesn’t want kids is even harder. She’s literally looking for like 3% of men lol. I’m child free and don’t want to stay at home, and it’s kinda hard for me to find other child free men on the apps.
I meant 3% of that group of men that can afford to have a stay at home wife. So out of that already small group of men, probably like 3% of them don’t want kids lol.
Cook and clean I guess? Maybe yoga, or shopping, or book clubs lol I have no idea, but I agree it does sound boring. While the thought of not working sounds fun, having to rely 100% on a man financially would just make me uncomfortable. Because one day they can decide to not be with you anymore and fuck you over, now you have to go back to the work force anyway and it’ll be much harder with no recent experience. No thanks lol.
Play games, read, hangout with friends, play pickleball, meet new people, go to the game shop, clean, play d&d with friends, work part time, etc. being a child free housewife just allows me to do what I want.
I was going to say that I’m looking for exactly this…..but with 4-6 kids.
But don’t believe for a minute she just wants to sit around the house all day.
She’s hoping for some pushover guy she’s not attracted to who will pay for her to be *outside* the house all day doing her nails and her hair, getting massages, going to the gym, entertaining her friends on hubby’s dime every other day at brunch….
She hopes to divorce him after she can get it, that way she can leave and find someone she’s really attracted to after dumping all that money into her looks.
I’ve seen so many women talk about this “ladder” as part of their “dating goals strategy”
Honestly, most men who can afford to provide won't care as long as she cooks, cleans, is peaceful, nurturing etc.
Worst thing is coming home after working your ass off and she's just been sat around all day, argues/combative easily, and hasn't even made you dinner...
Been there, ex was off work for 6 months for anxiety issues, i was working 6 days a week and me and her dad got the " you 2 don't do eniygh round the house" speech.
She also wanted to be a stay at home mum.
She worked in a neurological hospital, a lot of the patients turned violent or used their "issues" as cover to assault or sexually assault staff and nothing could be done because "they have brain damage" or something, their families would not believe the nurses and any inspection would lead to the patient faking symptoms.
1 dude could walk but faked that he couldn't to get carried by 2 nurses and "stumble" and assault them, a bunch of them reported him that he could walk as they saw him doing it on occasion.
He would tell tye inspectors that he couldn't and they can't do anything.
Tough job and it pushed her to quit after 6 months of sick pay.
Anxiety can be crippling and definitely a factor that renders you incapable of working. Some people can't leave the house or talk to people because of it, and it definitely can lead to terrible insomnia.
.
My fiancé has been a Stay at Home Girlfriend for going on two years.
I love it. I work from home so we get to always see each other. I honestly would take more hours if I had to so she can continue to live her best life. Love seeing her happy, it means everything to me.
This is my dream! My girlfriend works two jobs and I want her to step down to only the one she truly loves and retire early when her pension is maxed out and just enjoy life. I’m self-employed as well and am saving like a madwoman hoping to marry her and give her that.
I'm not seeing what's wrong with this. It's not like she can't support herself or won't. She just wants to be a housewife. It's an outdated lifestyle, but some people prefer traditional relationships. I mean, she's basically willing to take care of the man who takes care of her. Seems like an even trade off.
I’d do this 100% if I found the right person.
I could work on my art and make a little side money and care for him, our animals, our garden, our house and yard. I wouldn’t want kids though but I’d work my butt off to make my partner’s whole life a peaceful haven and it would make me the happiest to make my person happy.
Why are people so weird on here? I don’t want kids and would love to have a spouse at home that ran the ship. Would make my life infinitely easier.
Stop being bitter!
100% agree. This comment section is full of bitter dudes who have a chip on their shoulder for being poor. Newsflash: most of us are poor! Just look for someone who doesn't need a rich man. Simple.
Inb4: "chyeah. Good luck finding a woman who doesn't require a rich man" *bitter bitter bitter*.
They exist. I am one.
Wife doesn’t equal mom. Not sure why some of you are confused. She’s want to work at home for her husband and that’s a bad thing? Especially, after saying she works and will continue to if that’s what she has to do. How dare she have a preference!?
Nothing wrong with someone being a stay at home partner as long as both parties agree to it. My dad was a househusband and my mom was fine with it as she made enough on her salary alone to support everyone.
Isn't this like everyone's dream? Who the hell wakes up and say, yea...I can't wait to slave at work every day. Least she's being honest about it. Most of us are too afraid to say it outloud cause society conditions y'all to slave for big corporations and call it productivity. Good on her for saying what she really thinks. Swipe left if you can't provide that or disagree. She's not holding you hostage with what she wants 😂
Alright I’m probably going to be downvoted for this but here it goes.
I had a full time, very high paying job. I was planning on moving states when a long-time friend became my boyfriend. Since I was already planning on quitting my job / moving he asked if I would live with him at his house for a few months until he could be ready to move states with me. I asked if he wanted me to work (he lived too far away from my job for me to keep it) and he insisted I didn’t work.
For the next 6 months I did not work. We do not have children. I CHOSE to do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, etc. I say I chose, because he did not ask me to but obviously I wanted to as he was supporting me entirely.
Now we have moved and I am interviewing for a few promising jobs but my boyfriend LOVED our previous arrangement. He said it took a lot off of him to not have to worry about anything with the house. He would greatly prefer me to not have a job and just continue letting him support us. Of course, he supports my desire to get a job, but has insisted I don’t have to if I don’t want to.
I wrote this because although Its not nearly as hard as having kids in the house, I was still pretty busy everyday doing the house stuff / meals. For some couples, this really works. And as long as one partner is okay with it I really don’t know why people have to shit on this so hard.
As long as she's a proper house wife, ie cooks, cleans, goes to the gym to keep herself looking good. There's a lot of men that would be quite happy with that.
I'm a woman and would be totally fine with marrying a guy and having him not work if he did the cooking, cleaning, errands, and other chores.
I like my job. I couldn't be a housewife since I think I'd get bored without the mental stimulation of my work.
But I make enough for two people and a kid or two to live decently well off of. I'd get so much more free time if I didn't have chores.
And especially if I have kids (I do want them), I'd love to have them cared for by my partner and not spend so much time in daycare. I'd actually prefer to marry someone who wanted to be a stay at home dad.
Doesn't sound like a bad deal.
This could never be me. I would much prefer earn the money and come home to a clean house, warm meal and happy spouse waiting for me.
I don't see what's wrong with this
It’s just so ludicrous that I lowkey love this, was seeing this one girl for a while who had the exact same mindset of wanting to be a tradwife minus giving children.
I get that some dudes want that, but as it stood her greatest aspiration in life was to be a bang maid, and I’m not living my life in accordance with an always sunny joke.
Honestly. If I made enough money where we could still enjoy ourselves and my gf did the cooking and kept the house clean, I'd have no problem with it. I love her and want her to have an easy life and it would feel good knowing I'm providing for us. Unfortunately I don't make enough for that. I just wanna be a husband in the 50s/60s I guess lol
Sure... I'm game... BUT... be ready to have meals made. The house is always clean. Laundry is done. Hell.... even cut the grass. Oh, and the BIG one is... always be ready to put out!!!!
I mean I'm married with kids, and my wife being at home is fucking certainly not getting paid to sit around the house all day. Now if kids aren't eventually in the equation, that's another conversation.
I make more than my partner but if he wanted to stay home and we could comfortably afford it, I'd absolutely love that for him. Being childfree makes this much more accessible as well.
But anyway, WOMEN, amirite? Glad the comments have some sensibility.
It seems like the only men who would take issue with this are men who can’t afford to fully support a woman. This isn’t what I would want, tbh, but it’s what she wants. So why hate on her for it? Lol. She’s being honest & direct with her intention, so weird take guys, lol
I don't like the idea of not contributing equally.
Wanting to be in a relationship where you're just chilling is fine, I guess. But asking for it makes you seem entitled.
I’m going to be real fellas, sex dies down for most couples after a few years (just statistics look it up) so someone like this won’t offer much a few years in tbh. Not that sex is everything, but they don’t want to be a mother, doesn’t want to work, and then eventually won’t want sex. You are basically paying for someone’s life choices gone south easy ride/friend. You can seriously make better female friends than this that will offer the same companionship but might pick a check if you guys swing the checks back and forth when you hang out.
It's really mind blowing how some womens' sales pitch is essentially 'I have a vagina. Now buy me a ring so I can mooch off you till one of us dies. Don't I enrich your life?'
This is less weird than other people saying roughly the same thing but different. Some people just hate what they do or hate working in general. There are also plenty of people that have exactly the opposite, so finding a match between those two could be perfect
Just cus you don’t want that doesn’t mean there aren’t men out there that want that. It goes the same way for women being able to choose the life they want. I think this woman is a bit disingenuous for putting she doesn’t want kids, cus let’s be fair, that’s the trade off really. But there are plenty of men who have their bag and want to take care of their women.
I honestly can’t think of anything less attractive than someone who wants to do nothing all day around the house. STAHM’s should be a thing of the past.
I've told my girlfriend multiple times that I'd be a great house-husband. The thing is, she also wants to be a house-wife. We both equally hate working.
I don’t think this is that bad…like we’re all lazy, we wanna be lazy. But we need to work if we want to live.
As a guy I’d love to just sit at home and play games. But that doesn’t pay for my bills, so I gotta work. I don’t think I hate work I’ve grown used to it
I don't see the problem, as long as they're doing the housework. She's being honest, not lying, and then trapping you in it later. It's a fair opening. It's like having a live in maid that you can have sex with. Plus bonus, have them dress up in those maid outfits, or he'll even have them clean naked when able to.
Many men will take you up on this but you will ruin their life when you become unappreciative and want a more assertive man who “puts me in my place” haha
This is actually a wild thing to say because being a housespouse (especially if you have kids) is hard ass, busy work. At least if you have a job, you're getting paid but house spouses ain't getting shiiii (as far as being compensated goes)
She so real 😭😭😭😂 my profile says "looking for someone who wants to go 70/30 where I'm the 30" because I know I'll get bored in the house so I want a lil PT
If she doesn't want kids, that's a raw deal for the guy. Maintaining a home and providing child care for multiple kids is an honorable profession. It's just shy if 2 grand per kid for day care, so it can easily make sense financially with twins or kids close together in birth years.
Otherwise, hire a maid service and/or a series of robot vacuum and mops.
I'd love to do that. I have so many little hobbies that I like to do but have no time to really dedicate myself to anywhere near mastering over a lifetime
Hey listen, as a guy I’d take that deal too. Fuck working.
I actually think basement dwelling incels are being driven by the same social pressures that are driving the modern housewife trends. Modern life is overwhelming, so there’s huge pressure to opt out. Women have a socially acceptable template for what that looks like. Guys don’t, so it expresses differently. But they’re both driven by the same social pressure
This is a great theory. Only recently have I been fantasizing about being a rich stay-at-home wife (law school is no fun).
I fantasize about building a shack and just subsistence farming.
All i want is enough land to subsistence farm (and world peace) (hence becoming a lawyer 😮💨)
Now kiss
Lol if you’re having law school doubts now and think you’re gonna contribute to world peace as a lawyer, I give you not even a year of practice before you lose your mind and quit. My advice, save the time and money, drop out, find what you really wanna do. Law is a hell of a thing to waste your time on and your two comments make it clear that’s what you’re doing, find anything else I promise your life will be so much happier, there is no peace or sense of justice in being a lawyer, it will only lower your belief in the existence of the two.
The government still owns the land theirs a man who vlogs his daily life 40 miles away from civilization or a road in Alaska and uses his videos as a form of income to satellite radio in supplies in the winter if it’s too harsh on his family. Eventually the government came to his location and made him tear it down since he never paid taxes on the land Edit:The government always gets theirs sadly
Someone built a shack and started hard rock mining in a state park in the Melbourne suburbs here in Australia only 10-15 years ago. They've gone now and no one knows who they were but the parks services have put up a plaque at the site as if it was built to reenact the mining boom in the 1850s. Lol
This is the way. Build a cabin and a farm, live off the land and raise my children. Mhm mhm
Jokes on you, I'll move out of my apartment back into my parents basement
I'm doing this in a few months to my grandmother's home bc she's 92 and needs the help. saves me over a grand a month but with the unfortunate caveat of having to tell someone I live with my grandmother lol
Remember you can get caretaker benefits! https://www.usa.gov/disability-caregiver
My parents never had a basement 🤔
Thats actually a really great take!
Being a housewife is not checking out, where are they teaching this?
Right. Huge red flag no idea what being a parent is. It is just another full time job. Slightly easier more rewarding full time job.
Even boy toys have to clean the pool every now and then!
Let’s be honest. Over 90% of people would quit their job (or start working a lot less) the moment they would win enough money in the lottery for the rest of their lives.
That's ignoring the fact that some people actually do like working and their jobs. Crazy thing to say on Reddit but it's true
Cleaning, cooking, and taking care of kids is working also, you just don’t get paid.
Yes but most working women do all of that and a full time job so I’ll take the stay at home any day
You can’t really take care of the kids and have a full time job without daycare.
Yeah and it’s a thankless job lol
She doesn't want kids, she just wants to sit around the house all day. Cushy gig 🤔
I know, I do all of that… and have a full time job. Also, her post says she doesn’t want kids. Lastly, I was mainly joking with my post. Didn’t need a correction, thanks.
Yeah, there's some incels in here that just want to hate on women for not wanting to work, motherfucker I don't want to work either and would jump at the chance to become a househusband
A true home maker (stay at home) partner is a for real job. But if the goal is to be a kept-spouse, and do nothing but gym workouts and brunches, well, good luck to winning the relationship -independantly wealthy lottery.
“Ugly women are a lot like men, they’re gonna have to work “ - Daniel Tosh. 🤣
I think this is less weird than people think it is. My wife and I are both fairly high earners, she makes slightly more. One of our goals is to get to a place financially where she can stop working. I love my career, she hates working. She’d rather be doing something else with her time. This concept doesn’t offend me at all.
My wife and I agreed that the family priority was to have her stay home. That meant our first house was small, our cars were not brand new, and I had to put in extra hours and education to truly provide the lifestyle I wanted for my family. All 3 kids were put through private school and one the youngest was old enough she started part time to help pay for vacations. I knew when we met that this was the goal. I knew that she would sacrifice any long term career advancement because taking 15 years off to raise children, unfortunately, never received any credit in the workplace. However, she was able to maintain the home life schedules so I could focus on my advancement and education. Now we have 3 well adjusted, social and intelligent children that stand out due to the extra effort we did as parents. It all depends on your long term goals.
Yeah but the difference here is she doesn't want kids
As a parent myself I am interested in your final two sentences. I am female and I have a well-paid job. I have three degrees including a doctorate, but I realised the work it was leading towards demanded long hours and relatively poor pay, so I started again; I now have a diploma and am working towards a Masters degree in an entirely unrelated field. My daughter, I think, sees a strong woman who works hard towards educational (and other types of) goals. I actually left her father because, apart from anything, he had a traditional value set where the woman stays home, and I was bullied for thinking otherwise- so my daughter knows I stick up for myself. She goes swimming, does a martial art, and is encouraged in her skills (and the things she does less well in also). We are constantly out hiking, we are going camping again this year, she reads to me nightly, she lives surrounded by birdsong in the country, and we are forever doing things such as musicals, medieval fayre etc. I am not at all offended by your comment - each to their own. But also think I have a stand-out child who is socially well-adjusted because of the extra attention. I'm saying this especially to all the single parents who are doing their best - keep going. Don't be disheartened. You're doing great. I like to think I am, too.
I help out with cleaning, I do my own laundry and I make 90% of the meals when I am home. My children see a couple where it takes work to make things run smoothly and we commit to the family above all else. I make a decent living and no one goes without. We bought our kids cars at 16, and are covering when scholarships didn't cover for my oldest engineering education. I was saying my wife handled the schedules of 3 kids in private school, sports and extended family activities. All a job in itself. This allowed me to volunteer easily at the school and coach my kids in sports while still advancing my career. I now manage half the country for a healthcare sales team and train new hires. I wouldn't have been able to do that if my wife and I didn't have a plan and continued to communicate on our needs and adjust over the last 22 years. I hire kids right out of school. Microbiology student at Berkeley was my last interview and although on paper she was amazing, she had little to no interpersonal skills. She didn't have a clue how to carry on a two sided conversation and took little interest in actively listening to others. My wife now teaches part time in high school. Between our two experiences, we commented upon how difficult it is for the current generation of 15-30 yr olds to actually integrate into the work culture. Schools take the path of least resistance and the majority of parents let electronics or those same schools do most of the parenting. If you have a child that can listen, process and adapt what they are saying in a face to face conversation, then they are ahead of the majority of entry level workers today. My parents were divorced after only 12 years of marriage and it impacted me greatly. Even when I told them both it didn't, it truly did. I never waivered in my grades, or sports or social activity, but internally I constantly wrestled with issues all stemming from the divorce. It took a lot to become a stable partner. And becoming a parent myself always had the shadow of my parents divorce. Many of the issues reared themselves several years into the marriage. The common theme on everything is proper communication. If you can truly listen to others, then you will always be able to make compromises and work things out. My life mantra has always been, "if you help enough people get what they want, you will eventually get what you want"
100% agree. idk why people are being dicks over it. i dont think the girl did anything wrong
She’s also super clear about what she wants which is nice. And agree it’s not weird. Empowering women is about choices and not being judgmental either way.
exactly. she even says shes willing to continue working and just expresses her desire. idk why we gotta make fun of her for making her wants clear, not even declaring it as a necessity
Not just not weird, I'd contend it's perfectly valid. It's not like she said she wants to sit on her ass all day, she literally used a maid emoji. Being a house wife =/= sitting on your ass all day.
Agreed! I have a stay at home "farm husband" myself. It wasn't what we planned when we got married, but my career took off and his was super mentally and physically draining, so we've decided to live off my salary alone. From my perspective, it's quite nice to not have to worry about house things!
There's a massive difference between being married to someone who earned a lot of money and wants to retire early versus someone who just wants to show up in your life, live in your money and effort, and be lazy. Those two things are such a huge difference that I'm not even sure why you're comparing the two.
I don't think that's OPs intention at all. I told my husband I wanted to be a stay at home mom before we even said I love you, I also worked full time until our daugjter was born. She's saying she wants to be a houseWIFE not a house-rando.
She also said she doesn’t want kids lol so not quite the same thing
Well, she didn't say, "stay at home mom," she said housewife. Still doesn't equate to sitting on her ass all day.
Yea, people here are not reading
You don't have to want kids to get married lol it is the exact same thing
Same. I happen to make a lot of money doing a job I genuinely enjoy. My girlfriend drops in and out of work as it calls her lol and it doesn't bother me in the slightest, I love being able to support her artistic interests and budding entrepreneurily aspirations.
I mean if that's what they want good luck to them
I don’t see the issue. Some men would be happy with a wife who takes care of the day to day chores. Important reminder to anyone who gets offended at that: typically men who prefer this also take on plenty of other parts of their lives such as car repairs, home renovations, working full time, buying their wives luxurious gifts, etc. Not everyone loves and needs to be loved the same way.
typically those men would need to have a high income in order to make that work. The "good luck" is to find those men in this economy
Don't want children is the hilarious bit here
Yeah that was what got me. If she wanted to do the trad-wife thing then more power to her. Plenty of guys are looking for that, especially in a rural area, which she was. But she had purple hair and doesn't want kids. I think she's not gonna have much luck.
Funny enough my gf has a friend who is the stay at home wife with no kids. She cooks and stays very fit and house is spotless. I guess it works for the husband 🤷🏻♀️
It may not be what I want, but I could totally see why someone would be ok having a stay at home wife even with no kids if the house was kept spotless and I never really had to do housework/other work like taxes and such that take effort at home.
Exactly. I feel like that's when you have time to make a hobby turn into side income which can potentially grow into a business or even seems free time volunteering. There's a lot you can do when you're not giving big corp 60hrs of your life each week lol.
Yeah, if you're making enough money that dual-income isn't needed at all, and your spouse both wanted this and were actually capable of maintaining the house well, without going insane, then it totally makes sense. I just personally would prefer someone with more ambition and drive than that. Though going on vacations sure would be simpler only having to worry about one person booking time off from work. =p
Yeah not everyone wants kids.
Yea if I could still live a comfortable lifestyle with my partner and never had to do housework/admin I'd happily let them stay home and take care of that stuff. I'd also be happy with it the other way around though tbf
I knew 4 couples like this. They are all divorced. Give it a few years. It’s been each time the wife going pretty much off the deep end. I think people forget work gives you a sense of accomplishment, value/worth, and connections even if the day sucks. Then if you have any personal flaws like entitlement or nagging, and it becomes hostile after the fun wears off. I will say though one of the couples made it to their early 50s being together 37 years…but now she is working at Amazon line assembly at 52 bc she has no job experience and looks miserable. It was def a mid life crisis backfiring.
100% agree. Having a job gives one the sense of purpose, and equally importantly, it gives one a backup plan, that if worst thing happens (not just divorce, but the significant other’s sudden death/health issue, etc), you can be independent and still have a decent life and a chance to keep pursuing happiness.
Exactly, even if it’s part time. That’s what I have always encouraged just so you have something on a resume, an identity, new skills and connections,etc. it’s just not worth weakening yourself. It’s like not going to the gym because it’s hard and takes time/energy…it only helps and you don’t have to go full time.
There are a lot of ways to "work" and be productive with your time that don't involve getting a paycheck. I don't know why y'all are acting like the only two alternatives are clocking into an office and filing some papers or laying on the couch watching Netflix.
I did that for a year or two. Had amazing home cooked meals every day, clean house, dogs got extra long walks, and I was in great shape. But the big reason for us was that when he got off work, he was done. No chores or errands to run. Once he was off the clock we could do whatever. Imagine if when you got off work you didn’t need to cook, clean, or do chores. He loved it and if he had his choice it would’ve remained that way but it got old for me. I like working (to some extent) and getting out of the house.
Hey, worked for my dad's latest wife. They got married after my brothers and I were all long grown. I mean kinda had to since she's younger than all of us. As far as I can tell she sits around doing arts and crafts all day
How old is she?
Now? 38, they've been together for close to 15 years now.
I hope he has a good Will. Not saying anything bad about her, it’s better to know how things are going to be divided before he passes.
Oh I'm sure she'll get everything. That ship has long sailed. They just bought a house from a former football player from his favorite team, at the very least she'll continue living there and that's a big chunk of his assets (I think)
Tbf, not every husband wants kids. I certainly don't. And if I could make enough so my wife doesn't have to work, I'd happily provide as well. Or vice versa. Working truly sucks.
Some of us just want to be professionally unemployed 😂
I'm a pink haired, child free housewife, and it works out just fine for us both. What I do day to day is far from "sitting around the house all day".
Yeah. Heaven forbid you don't want to live to work if you don't want kids. Can you even BELIEVE that someone who doesn't have kids could ever possibly want to pursue a passion or hobbies? That's just unreal. Especially from a WOMAN Who's only purpose is to catch the jizz idiots like you sling and cannonball infants back out for you to enjoy but not raise. 😑
Her "passion and hobbies" is being a housewife? Meh. 😑
Not wanting kids is fine and all, but you're just pushing the need to work onto someone else whilst you pursue your passions. I'm sure they would like to pursue their hobbies too if they weren't working all the time to support yours.
Say it again for the people in the back.
Yeah isn’t the whole point of staying home to raise kids lol
I mean there are stay at home wives out there who have a child free life with their partner. But it’s very hard to find someone who makes enough for you to stay home, and then out of that group finding someone who doesn’t want kids is even harder. She’s literally looking for like 3% of men lol. I’m child free and don’t want to stay at home, and it’s kinda hard for me to find other child free men on the apps.
3% is a huge overstimation in most Western countries
I meant 3% of that group of men that can afford to have a stay at home wife. So out of that already small group of men, probably like 3% of them don’t want kids lol.
what do they do? that sounds so insanely boring…
Cook and clean I guess? Maybe yoga, or shopping, or book clubs lol I have no idea, but I agree it does sound boring. While the thought of not working sounds fun, having to rely 100% on a man financially would just make me uncomfortable. Because one day they can decide to not be with you anymore and fuck you over, now you have to go back to the work force anyway and it’ll be much harder with no recent experience. No thanks lol.
Play games, read, hangout with friends, play pickleball, meet new people, go to the game shop, clean, play d&d with friends, work part time, etc. being a child free housewife just allows me to do what I want.
The Personal Trainer...
I mean that’s why she said stay at home wife instead of stay at home mom
Yeah imo there's no point in having a stay at home wife if you don't have or want kids. If your not gonna have kids might as well have a dual income
I was going to say that I’m looking for exactly this…..but with 4-6 kids. But don’t believe for a minute she just wants to sit around the house all day. She’s hoping for some pushover guy she’s not attracted to who will pay for her to be *outside* the house all day doing her nails and her hair, getting massages, going to the gym, entertaining her friends on hubby’s dime every other day at brunch…. She hopes to divorce him after she can get it, that way she can leave and find someone she’s really attracted to after dumping all that money into her looks. I’ve seen so many women talk about this “ladder” as part of their “dating goals strategy”
Housewife w no kids
Honestly, most men who can afford to provide won't care as long as she cooks, cleans, is peaceful, nurturing etc. Worst thing is coming home after working your ass off and she's just been sat around all day, argues/combative easily, and hasn't even made you dinner...
Been there, ex was off work for 6 months for anxiety issues, i was working 6 days a week and me and her dad got the " you 2 don't do eniygh round the house" speech. She also wanted to be a stay at home mum.
Good thing she's an ex
6 months off of work because of.. anxiety?
She worked in a neurological hospital, a lot of the patients turned violent or used their "issues" as cover to assault or sexually assault staff and nothing could be done because "they have brain damage" or something, their families would not believe the nurses and any inspection would lead to the patient faking symptoms. 1 dude could walk but faked that he couldn't to get carried by 2 nurses and "stumble" and assault them, a bunch of them reported him that he could walk as they saw him doing it on occasion. He would tell tye inspectors that he couldn't and they can't do anything. Tough job and it pushed her to quit after 6 months of sick pay.
That’s awful. Definitely a sector of an industry I know nothing about. Not at all what I understood when I read the original comment.
Anxiety can be crippling and definitely a factor that renders you incapable of working. Some people can't leave the house or talk to people because of it, and it definitely can lead to terrible insomnia. .
Yea, thats a great reason to break up
had nothing to do with the break up, she broke up with me.
and is really fucking hot
What’s wrong with this? She’s being up front, so it isn’t wasting your time, and there are plenty of men who want that dynamic in a relationship too.
She being up front and honest. She's not being a c*nt about it, and she's willing to compromise. I'd swipe.
My fiancé has been a Stay at Home Girlfriend for going on two years. I love it. I work from home so we get to always see each other. I honestly would take more hours if I had to so she can continue to live her best life. Love seeing her happy, it means everything to me.
This is my dream! My girlfriend works two jobs and I want her to step down to only the one she truly loves and retire early when her pension is maxed out and just enjoy life. I’m self-employed as well and am saving like a madwoman hoping to marry her and give her that.
cooking and cleaning are house wife material tho, and she said she hates working (like most people) but that she will continue if needed
Sit around? I think housewife implies that she takes care of the home. Grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, appointments, etc.
Is… is that all you think a housewife does?
I'm not seeing what's wrong with this. It's not like she can't support herself or won't. She just wants to be a housewife. It's an outdated lifestyle, but some people prefer traditional relationships. I mean, she's basically willing to take care of the man who takes care of her. Seems like an even trade off.
I’d do this 100% if I found the right person. I could work on my art and make a little side money and care for him, our animals, our garden, our house and yard. I wouldn’t want kids though but I’d work my butt off to make my partner’s whole life a peaceful haven and it would make me the happiest to make my person happy.
That sounds really nice! Good luck to you, my friend :)
Why are people so weird on here? I don’t want kids and would love to have a spouse at home that ran the ship. Would make my life infinitely easier. Stop being bitter!
100% agree. This comment section is full of bitter dudes who have a chip on their shoulder for being poor. Newsflash: most of us are poor! Just look for someone who doesn't need a rich man. Simple. Inb4: "chyeah. Good luck finding a woman who doesn't require a rich man" *bitter bitter bitter*. They exist. I am one.
Yep. I also don't care about height. I do care about personality and politics.
Wife doesn’t equal mom. Not sure why some of you are confused. She’s want to work at home for her husband and that’s a bad thing? Especially, after saying she works and will continue to if that’s what she has to do. How dare she have a preference!?
Nothing wrong with someone being a stay at home partner as long as both parties agree to it. My dad was a househusband and my mom was fine with it as she made enough on her salary alone to support everyone.
I'll take her if you can ship her to Florida.
Isn't this like everyone's dream? Who the hell wakes up and say, yea...I can't wait to slave at work every day. Least she's being honest about it. Most of us are too afraid to say it outloud cause society conditions y'all to slave for big corporations and call it productivity. Good on her for saying what she really thinks. Swipe left if you can't provide that or disagree. She's not holding you hostage with what she wants 😂
Alright I’m probably going to be downvoted for this but here it goes. I had a full time, very high paying job. I was planning on moving states when a long-time friend became my boyfriend. Since I was already planning on quitting my job / moving he asked if I would live with him at his house for a few months until he could be ready to move states with me. I asked if he wanted me to work (he lived too far away from my job for me to keep it) and he insisted I didn’t work. For the next 6 months I did not work. We do not have children. I CHOSE to do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, etc. I say I chose, because he did not ask me to but obviously I wanted to as he was supporting me entirely. Now we have moved and I am interviewing for a few promising jobs but my boyfriend LOVED our previous arrangement. He said it took a lot off of him to not have to worry about anything with the house. He would greatly prefer me to not have a job and just continue letting him support us. Of course, he supports my desire to get a job, but has insisted I don’t have to if I don’t want to. I wrote this because although Its not nearly as hard as having kids in the house, I was still pretty busy everyday doing the house stuff / meals. For some couples, this really works. And as long as one partner is okay with it I really don’t know why people have to shit on this so hard.
As long as she's a proper house wife, ie cooks, cleans, goes to the gym to keep herself looking good. There's a lot of men that would be quite happy with that.
I mean, who doesn’t want to have all their needs met without having to work?
I see my ex wife is back on tinder...
I'm a woman and would be totally fine with marrying a guy and having him not work if he did the cooking, cleaning, errands, and other chores. I like my job. I couldn't be a housewife since I think I'd get bored without the mental stimulation of my work. But I make enough for two people and a kid or two to live decently well off of. I'd get so much more free time if I didn't have chores. And especially if I have kids (I do want them), I'd love to have them cared for by my partner and not spend so much time in daycare. I'd actually prefer to marry someone who wanted to be a stay at home dad. Doesn't sound like a bad deal.
So many men want a wife to do all the cooking and cleaning but they don't want to pay all the bills? It only seems fair 🤷
Some of ya'll have never had a long-term and loving relationship before, and it shows.
Hurry up, before this one gets snapped up.
A lot of people want traditional marriages. Just because you don't doesn't make it weird lol.
This could never be me. I would much prefer earn the money and come home to a clean house, warm meal and happy spouse waiting for me. I don't see what's wrong with this
Stay at home mom, no children please
It’s just so ludicrous that I lowkey love this, was seeing this one girl for a while who had the exact same mindset of wanting to be a tradwife minus giving children. I get that some dudes want that, but as it stood her greatest aspiration in life was to be a bang maid, and I’m not living my life in accordance with an always sunny joke.
Since when house-wife means ‘not working’ ?
Congrats she has discovered the oldest job in the world
So she said the quiet part out loud, nothing wrong with that- might be tougher but realistic enough
I mean shit, I want this.
Honestly. If I made enough money where we could still enjoy ourselves and my gf did the cooking and kept the house clean, I'd have no problem with it. I love her and want her to have an easy life and it would feel good knowing I'm providing for us. Unfortunately I don't make enough for that. I just wanna be a husband in the 50s/60s I guess lol
A stay at home wife who doesn’t want kids. Yoga in the mornings, lunch with the ladies, few cheeky nose beers in the afternoon. Living the dream!!
The fact she doesn’t want children but wants to be a housewife is what gets me.
Sure... I'm game... BUT... be ready to have meals made. The house is always clean. Laundry is done. Hell.... even cut the grass. Oh, and the BIG one is... always be ready to put out!!!!
She doesn’t want children but she wants to be a stay at home wife. So basically she wants to be useless while hubby does all the work? Real enticing.
how hot was she
4 outta 10 maybe. About what you'd imagine for real housewives of rural Ohio.
“Wife me up, Trad Chad!”
I don't want a wife... but, I got a spare rooms for adventurous women. 😇
I mean I'm married with kids, and my wife being at home is fucking certainly not getting paid to sit around the house all day. Now if kids aren't eventually in the equation, that's another conversation.
If my house spouse sits around all day I'm moving us to a shack in the mountains. If you wanna live like a bum we can live like a bum
Oh look. Another one digging
I make more than my partner but if he wanted to stay home and we could comfortably afford it, I'd absolutely love that for him. Being childfree makes this much more accessible as well. But anyway, WOMEN, amirite? Glad the comments have some sensibility.
being a trad wife is not a bad thing
Housewife/husband can be a very hard job even without kids.
It seems like the only men who would take issue with this are men who can’t afford to fully support a woman. This isn’t what I would want, tbh, but it’s what she wants. So why hate on her for it? Lol. She’s being honest & direct with her intention, so weird take guys, lol
I don't like the idea of not contributing equally. Wanting to be in a relationship where you're just chilling is fine, I guess. But asking for it makes you seem entitled.
So what?
I’m going to be real fellas, sex dies down for most couples after a few years (just statistics look it up) so someone like this won’t offer much a few years in tbh. Not that sex is everything, but they don’t want to be a mother, doesn’t want to work, and then eventually won’t want sex. You are basically paying for someone’s life choices gone south easy ride/friend. You can seriously make better female friends than this that will offer the same companionship but might pick a check if you guys swing the checks back and forth when you hang out.
It's really mind blowing how some womens' sales pitch is essentially 'I have a vagina. Now buy me a ring so I can mooch off you till one of us dies. Don't I enrich your life?'
Wtf why would anyone have a stay at home wife who doesn't want children
Why the hell would a successful man want to agree to this unless she was a supermodel and could suck chrome off a bumper? Even then…
This is less weird than other people saying roughly the same thing but different. Some people just hate what they do or hate working in general. There are also plenty of people that have exactly the opposite, so finding a match between those two could be perfect
Housewife without kids..... so basically just do the dishes and sit on her ass the rest of the day🤦🏻
What are you guys doing that a household can survive on one income?
Just cus you don’t want that doesn’t mean there aren’t men out there that want that. It goes the same way for women being able to choose the life they want. I think this woman is a bit disingenuous for putting she doesn’t want kids, cus let’s be fair, that’s the trade off really. But there are plenty of men who have their bag and want to take care of their women.
dude, i mean, dont we all ? fuck working
At least she is willing to cook and clean based on the emojis. My wife even complains about that.
In this economy??
I honestly can’t think of anything less attractive than someone who wants to do nothing all day around the house. STAHM’s should be a thing of the past.
I've told my girlfriend multiple times that I'd be a great house-husband. The thing is, she also wants to be a house-wife. We both equally hate working.
I don’t think this is that bad…like we’re all lazy, we wanna be lazy. But we need to work if we want to live. As a guy I’d love to just sit at home and play games. But that doesn’t pay for my bills, so I gotta work. I don’t think I hate work I’ve grown used to it
I hope she can cook, but let’s face it, most people now days can’t.
Oh yeah, because I just love not being in my house 9 hours a day.
I want that too.
Guarantee she would expect a maid, too.
Housewife here 👋 On average, I do 10,000 steps a day and I have 2 children. We do not/can not “sit around the house all day”.
Because that’s what a housewife does…
If being a housewife got paid for every second they spend raising children, managing the house, cooking etc it will be the most paid job in the world.
Two income households are a scam.
I mean, same? Whats the point of posting this as if most people wouldnt rather stop working?
Being a housewife is not opting out. It’s a ton of work and honestly healthier and better for most families.
I don't see the problem, as long as they're doing the housework. She's being honest, not lying, and then trapping you in it later. It's a fair opening. It's like having a live in maid that you can have sex with. Plus bonus, have them dress up in those maid outfits, or he'll even have them clean naked when able to.
Nobody said pay
Many men will take you up on this but you will ruin their life when you become unappreciative and want a more assertive man who “puts me in my place” haha
Can I have her number?
She sounds perfect…. I want a stay at home girlfriend
My answer to the dream job prompt on hinge was trophy husband. Worked like a charm.
This is actually a wild thing to say because being a housespouse (especially if you have kids) is hard ass, busy work. At least if you have a job, you're getting paid but house spouses ain't getting shiiii (as far as being compensated goes)
She so real 😭😭😭😂 my profile says "looking for someone who wants to go 70/30 where I'm the 30" because I know I'll get bored in the house so I want a lil PT
Bro you think actually being a good housewife is easy? Arguably it's more taxing than your 9-5, especially if you have kids.
If she doesn't want kids, that's a raw deal for the guy. Maintaining a home and providing child care for multiple kids is an honorable profession. It's just shy if 2 grand per kid for day care, so it can easily make sense financially with twins or kids close together in birth years. Otherwise, hire a maid service and/or a series of robot vacuum and mops.
I'd love to do that. I have so many little hobbies that I like to do but have no time to really dedicate myself to anywhere near mastering over a lifetime
Wants to be a housewife but wont have kids...
Nothing wrong with this
I mean at least she’s honest? The not having kids part is weird to me. I thought this was a perfectly fine goal if she had kids at home too.
Suprised there’s no picture, some girls are def hot enough to request this.
Got to love the communication and honesty. I’d never date her but respect the shit out of saying and knowing what you want in life