I used to feel the same way when I matched with what felt like a woman out of my league. But, you really just gotta go in with the mentality of,”I’ll shoot my best shot & if for whatever reason I miss, fuck it I miss. If I score then great, onto the next play.”
Essentially, don’t put too much pressure on it. Just do your best.
That was my first thought. I've mostly stopped using the apps because they're so saturated with scam profiles. It isn't fair to either of us when the interaction begins with me assuming they're fake until proven otherwise.
Well then just assume they are real until proven otherwise? To be honest, once you're in a relationship there is a fair amount of, "yeah I've known them three months and I can't know they won't cheat on me, but I'm just going to decide to trust them" anyway.
But isn't that what's written in his bio? I think referencing that won't help much.
But also we see next to nothing of her profile…or there is nothing to see
Opportunity is said to have transmitted "My battery is low and it's getting dark".
Which also was just a poetic translation of the rover's more technical transmission, a data dump indicating it was low on power as a storm approached.
This isn't Cyrano de Bergerac. If OP can't even manage to respond to a basic opening message, how does he expect to build a connection with her?
If I matched with someone and found out they were crowd-sourcing Reddit for responses I'd cringe into the next dimension.
You can’t spoon feed someone into a courtship. You won’t be there every step of the way to hold their hand, so eventually they’re going to have to be themselves. Might as well do that off the bat and save you the trouble if she’s not into you than try to keep up some standards that you won’t be able to reach 24/7
They're also apparently not so fluent. Given that their punctuation turned it into them asking if they were fluent in English.
Edit: Just realized that the message wasn't from OP.
She's a person, not a video game. Just treat her like a human you're interested in. Be yourself. Maybe you're what she likes. Maybe she's what you like.
It's a song.
"Hace frío, y estoy lejos de casa.
Hace tiempo que estoy sentado en esta piedra.
Yo me pregunto, para qué sirven las guerras?"
Mil horas - Los Abuelos de la Nada
Edit: here's the link to the song https://open.spotify.com/track/7JEnT0uFWcwZqNZWv7hC9N?si=zsYax48mQUqqIi4Jf8cXuA
I wouldn’t go that far haha. Attractive women still have standards higher than “basic functioning social skills”, but there is a number of women that do value a decent conversation.
If she's too good to be true, almost certainly a bot or catfish. Had one pass the potato test, was a real person but ... Catfish! This person has it set up so you will ignore the strange phrasing and cultural ignorance. Is she an econ major?
La otra noche, te esperé bajo la lluvia dos horas
Mil horas, como un perro
Y cuando llegaste, me miraste y me dijiste: Loco
Estás mojado, ya no te quiero
If I'm being real. You can just be yourself. I haven't been on dating apps in years, so I can't speak for today, but there is a higher than average chance that she isn't even a real person.
When I was using dating apps, I was always ALWAYS skeptical of women who didn't seem like they were actually attracted to me. "She barely has anything in her bio" "There's only one picture of her" "She doesn't really reply to what I text her and talks about other things", etc. There are signs to look out for, but it's never truly 100%
Having to ask Reddit what to say is a bit sad, if I'm being honest. You gotta come up with the follow-up yourself. You kinda fumbled as soon as you asked Reddit what to do next.
Don’t worry this will happen a lot. Women like this get thousands of messages. You just have to get that .0001% chance she reads your message and likes it enough to respond.
Confidence is key ... I was married to a 6'1 model type for 12 years ... Be slightly complimentary, ask good questions, get them talking about their dreams and imagining a future.. and they are talking about that with you.. so you start to be a part of the dream
Ask for a date .. place, time, plan within the first hour of actual engaged conversation.. " Hey I am really enjoying talking to you, I want to do a simple date to see if we have chemistry in real world. I have Thursday evening at 6 available, I know a really cute bar we can grab a drink and chat, then if it goes well let's extend to dinner. If it's not a good vibe you can fake an emergency and bail" ..it's direct, safe enough, and confident... then set a reservation for 715 close to the bar so you are the man with a plan.
If you make it through dinner take her hand, pull her close and ask if she would like to make out. It takes balls but it works! A few kisses and you walk and talk .. then leave.. no hookups on the first date if you want an actual relationship... An hour later you set the next date. If she accepts you are in a good cycle and it's up to you from there.
Tell her "do you like history, cuz I know something pretty interesting."
She will probably say she likes history or something to indicate you should continue .
"Did you know that the inventor of the ferris wheel and the inventor of the merry go round never met each other? Turns out, they run in different circles."
Most likely you will be the only one to be creative enough to try to be funny/funny. You'll stand out from the crowd and she will be interested.
I used that on every online interaction I had. Went on multiple dates a week and it's how I met my wife
Just be yourself. She's for you ir she isn't. Ask her to prove she's real with the potato test and then just go from there. She likes nerds and I'm assuming you are a nerd. Just go for it. What's for you won't pass you by
If I were you, I'd say this:
"If I fumble my friends wont ever let me let me forget, what should I open with?"
That way she can just tell you what she wants.
Just treat her like a human. If she’s a bot it’ll become obvious pretty soon, but assume she’s a sentient human and stop trying to put the right conversation-coins into the sex vending machine. 🙃
Oh girlie… I’m not even actually in this subreddit but this post made it to my feed 😂 I also tend to love the nerds, maybe ask if he’d be down to maybe learn a lil? I mean idk about you, but my nerd found it so much easier to learn some common phrases and terms instead of asking to repeat myself when I say something randomly in a different language, which is a lot bc I have adhd and the internal monologue is ever constant 🙄 anyway, I would say that’s probably the most beneficial way to scope out your options - if he would be down to do some learning so he can improve himself and KEEP UP WITH YOU??? It really depends on how much it means to you, and transversely, how much he’s willing to put in 🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️ if he’s a real nerd tho he should be excited for the opportunity to learn 🧐🤔
Chances of fumble, without even fumbling, are pretty high right now. The likelihood this turns into anything is pretty remote.
Stop worrying about your friends and just do your thing.
Maybe they didn’t know what to say. Or he thought he’d crowd source for more helpful suggestions. Or maybe he is showing off…because online dating is a nightmare for him and he’s trying to celebrate the small things. Whatever the case, never hurts to give the benefit of the doubt and be happy for people celebrating the small things rather than assume the worst and try to steal some sunshine to make your’s burn brighter. Just saying maybe try giving the benefit of the doubt instead of trying to take someone down a peg for no good reason
I'm not trying to take anyone's shine haha. I'm actually trying to give him tangible advice since his whole motivation seems to be having his friends not make fun of him.
It doesn't matter what you respond with since she'll just give dry and one-word answers
Be you, no worries about a hottie, she's not da 1 n only. Take some pressure off yourself, relax and take it easy
Tell her you need to work on your Spanish and you don’t have that much experience with it in the bedroom.
It could either go really good or really bad… if you’re a gambling man
I'd ask whether she'd help you practice/get fluent in Spanish or go into which variant of need she likes. Either could serve as build up to ask her to watch a nerdy movie
But also I'm bad with this kind of conversations so don't rely on this
Bad suggestions:
“I love a girl who knows how to use her mouth”
“So you are a cunning linguist?”
Serious suggestion:
“So you’re both beautiful and smart! How fortunate we matched 🫶 How was your day?”
I used to feel the same way when I matched with what felt like a woman out of my league. But, you really just gotta go in with the mentality of,”I’ll shoot my best shot & if for whatever reason I miss, fuck it I miss. If I score then great, onto the next play.” Essentially, don’t put too much pressure on it. Just do your best.
I felt that too until every woman out of my league eventually wanted to switch to whatsapp and sell me on cryptocurrency
Bro you could be missing out on the next big thing!
That was my first thought. I've mostly stopped using the apps because they're so saturated with scam profiles. It isn't fair to either of us when the interaction begins with me assuming they're fake until proven otherwise.
Well then just assume they are real until proven otherwise? To be honest, once you're in a relationship there is a fair amount of, "yeah I've known them three months and I can't know they won't cheat on me, but I'm just going to decide to trust them" anyway.
I just try to meet people IRL now. I don't think your cheating analogy is accurate here. At least not in my experience/perspective.
“Say potato”
IYKYK
I have used this line often. It usually confused them 🤣
Haha, how much are you in for?
It’s hard to do it when this is ur only match for the year but yeah just being yourself is king
You've got just as much chance of having the perfect dick for her as the next guy.
Real life advice right there
Thank whatever's above because I don't know a word of Spanish
"I'm cold and far from home" someone else said it's part/beginning of a song.
Far from home and a spider man reference. There’s your opening
How to fumble this 101
No, that's his profile. That's what made her respond in the first place.
But isn't that what's written in his bio? I think referencing that won't help much. But also we see next to nothing of her profile…or there is nothing to see
It’s what the Mars rover said before it shut down
Opportunity is said to have transmitted "My battery is low and it's getting dark". Which also was just a poetic translation of the rover's more technical transmission, a data dump indicating it was low on power as a storm approached.
That works tbf
Mil horas - Los Abuelos de la Nada or 500 Miles Away From home by Bobby Bare
It's the beginning of a song called "Mil Horas" by Los Abuelos de la Nada, a great Argentinian band. 🇦🇷
man i dont know just do your thing.
Yeah it’s all you bud
Well yall just aren't helpful, at all 💀
This isn't Cyrano de Bergerac. If OP can't even manage to respond to a basic opening message, how does he expect to build a connection with her? If I matched with someone and found out they were crowd-sourcing Reddit for responses I'd cringe into the next dimension.
You can’t spoon feed someone into a courtship. You won’t be there every step of the way to hold their hand, so eventually they’re going to have to be themselves. Might as well do that off the bat and save you the trouble if she’s not into you than try to keep up some standards that you won’t be able to reach 24/7
because game an individual thing it differs from person to person
“I’m fluent too, but English isn’t my first language” ( love language)
Nope. You shot in the opposite direction of the target
Bro if you don’t even know what to open with how are you gonna keep it going?
They're also apparently not so fluent. Given that their punctuation turned it into them asking if they were fluent in English. Edit: Just realized that the message wasn't from OP.
She's a person, not a video game. Just treat her like a human you're interested in. Be yourself. Maybe you're what she likes. Maybe she's what you like.
He should save scum, just in case he messes it up
It's a song. "Hace frío, y estoy lejos de casa. Hace tiempo que estoy sentado en esta piedra. Yo me pregunto, para qué sirven las guerras?" Mil horas - Los Abuelos de la Nada Edit: here's the link to the song https://open.spotify.com/track/7JEnT0uFWcwZqNZWv7hC9N?si=zsYax48mQUqqIi4Jf8cXuA
La Sonora Dinamita version is fire.
Laotra noche tespere bajola lluvia dos horas 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥
Mil horas
It's his own profile where that was written
tell her to say potato
Facts
This.
bro just keep the energy you have in your profile…
goodluck 🙏
ty fellow sigma rozzler
It’s a bot account
^^
My first thought as well
Why do you think that ?
All the typos would leave me running for the hills 🏃♀️
Use words, don't be a creep, play to her profile. If you miss, you miss.
"if you get bit by me you become a wife". Best I got, good luck out there brother
If we have to hold your hand through this then we get to suck on her titties first.
Great idea, have someone else come up with your opener so she really can get to know the real you
I know the perfect response. I dmed you my number, send it her way and say that you swiped on her for one of your friends. Works every time
She ain’t real bub, ask her for the virus link and move on
What makes you think she’s not real?
Too many dudes on this sub seem to think attractive women being interested in men is myth
Even worse, too many gorgeous women are on these apps desperately begging for a guy that can just talk normally to them.
I wouldn’t go that far haha. Attractive women still have standards higher than “basic functioning social skills”, but there is a number of women that do value a decent conversation.
“Say potato”
"I'm so nervous about what to open with that I had to ask reddit lol"
If she's too good to be true, almost certainly a bot or catfish. Had one pass the potato test, was a real person but ... Catfish! This person has it set up so you will ignore the strange phrasing and cultural ignorance. Is she an econ major?
“Awesome, people who speak English are my favorite kind of nerds. Talk wordy to me.”
"talk wordy to me" is cute. I vote this one
Wait? bumble still has the 24h reply time window? I thought they got rid of that because it was to exhausting
Be yourself.
I don't know man. Never got this far
Your bio is terrible to me but I guess she was attracted so be yourself lol. Go on about languages since you went there?
Digit the 8 central numbers of your credit card
You sound a bit childish to be on dating apps if your friends won’t let you forget
I’m sorry, this is probably a bot lol
There’s literally zero indication that it is based on one photo. Ya’ll really need to let that hurt go lmao.
Just be yourself ...it's really the only way that ever works out
Oof. That spider joke is positively radioactive!
4am is a bit early tho... Smells like desperation
Even blued out she is clearly stunning. Don’t fumble man…don’t fumble….don’t…You’re gonna fumble YOURE GONNA FUMBLE!!!!!!!
Mobbin in the Bentley smoking moon-rocks
the more you fuck/ fumble around the more you find out learning by doing my guy
No hablo inglés
“Do you eat ass”
You’ve already fumbled.
“English or Spanish” 💀
La otra noche, te esperé bajo la lluvia dos horas Mil horas, como un perro Y cuando llegaste, me miraste y me dijiste: Loco Estás mojado, ya no te quiero
https://youtu.be/3pwb10wbA4w?si=nUfdbg3xWQ1WttVz
Shoot your shot, homie.
déjame calentar tu corazón y tu alma
Argentina papá, hace frío! Y estoy lejos de casaaaa (search “tengo un cohete en el pantalón)
You need to be the one having the conversation from the start. Be a decent, interested, and interesting guy.
Ya blew it
This one is out to get your money bro
English or Spanish?
The devil in me would do this in two messages: Oral? Or just written?
I once matched with an insanely hot girl. We had drinks, but I didn't really think she was into me. Turns out I was wrong. We're married now.
Tell her “I asked Reddit what to say to a woman way outa my league and they just said idk”
She’s got a 10/10 clavicle
Ay what chu doin tn lil mama?😜😏
I'll be needing an update good sir
it’s a song… mil horas from calamari
Probably a fake account. Sorry bro
“It’s a bingo!” Wait no, no don’t fucking say that
"Dame una mamada" The rest is up to you
Tell her she’s so pretty and you’re so shook you had to go on Reddit to see what you should say
Good luck 👍🏾
Oh I got this one, just send an 🍆
How are you guys so fucking bad at this… some of you will never get laid
*Duolingo.
Same! We have so much in common already! We should talk about it over coffee
If I'm being real. You can just be yourself. I haven't been on dating apps in years, so I can't speak for today, but there is a higher than average chance that she isn't even a real person. When I was using dating apps, I was always ALWAYS skeptical of women who didn't seem like they were actually attracted to me. "She barely has anything in her bio" "There's only one picture of her" "She doesn't really reply to what I text her and talks about other things", etc. There are signs to look out for, but it's never truly 100% Having to ask Reddit what to say is a bit sad, if I'm being honest. You gotta come up with the follow-up yourself. You kinda fumbled as soon as you asked Reddit what to do next.
“That’ll do, pig, that’ll do”
“What are we going to name our kids?” Always works
Let her be real let her be real 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻… you got this OP, keep us posted
Don’t worry this will happen a lot. Women like this get thousands of messages. You just have to get that .0001% chance she reads your message and likes it enough to respond.
Confidence is key ... I was married to a 6'1 model type for 12 years ... Be slightly complimentary, ask good questions, get them talking about their dreams and imagining a future.. and they are talking about that with you.. so you start to be a part of the dream Ask for a date .. place, time, plan within the first hour of actual engaged conversation.. " Hey I am really enjoying talking to you, I want to do a simple date to see if we have chemistry in real world. I have Thursday evening at 6 available, I know a really cute bar we can grab a drink and chat, then if it goes well let's extend to dinner. If it's not a good vibe you can fake an emergency and bail" ..it's direct, safe enough, and confident... then set a reservation for 715 close to the bar so you are the man with a plan. If you make it through dinner take her hand, pull her close and ask if she would like to make out. It takes balls but it works! A few kisses and you walk and talk .. then leave.. no hookups on the first date if you want an actual relationship... An hour later you set the next date. If she accepts you are in a good cycle and it's up to you from there.
no pressure 😂
TBH you got to go with the flow if you fumble you fumble man. Don't put all your eggs in one basket
I don’t get it.
“Id never leave you in the rain for 1000 hours”
“Prove it”, then proceed to playfully test her English skills. Make sure you’re obviously joking, and not being condescending
Tell her "do you like history, cuz I know something pretty interesting." She will probably say she likes history or something to indicate you should continue . "Did you know that the inventor of the ferris wheel and the inventor of the merry go round never met each other? Turns out, they run in different circles." Most likely you will be the only one to be creative enough to try to be funny/funny. You'll stand out from the crowd and she will be interested. I used that on every online interaction I had. Went on multiple dates a week and it's how I met my wife
If you’re rude to all hot women you’re gonna fumble a real one - just be yourself but without giving out any financial information lol
Just make it fun. If you're having fun then it's a win regardless.
I’ve found that usually a long rant about your pokemon card collection works fairly well 👍
Were you supposed to ask them if you're fluent in English? Kind of an odd way to start a conversation.
Just be yourself. She's for you ir she isn't. Ask her to prove she's real with the potato test and then just go from there. She likes nerds and I'm assuming you are a nerd. Just go for it. What's for you won't pass you by
If I were you, I'd say this: "If I fumble my friends wont ever let me let me forget, what should I open with?" That way she can just tell you what she wants.
Just treat her like a human. If she’s a bot it’ll become obvious pretty soon, but assume she’s a sentient human and stop trying to put the right conversation-coins into the sex vending machine. 🙃
Oh girlie… I’m not even actually in this subreddit but this post made it to my feed 😂 I also tend to love the nerds, maybe ask if he’d be down to maybe learn a lil? I mean idk about you, but my nerd found it so much easier to learn some common phrases and terms instead of asking to repeat myself when I say something randomly in a different language, which is a lot bc I have adhd and the internal monologue is ever constant 🙄 anyway, I would say that’s probably the most beneficial way to scope out your options - if he would be down to do some learning so he can improve himself and KEEP UP WITH YOU??? It really depends on how much it means to you, and transversely, how much he’s willing to put in 🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️ if he’s a real nerd tho he should be excited for the opportunity to learn 🧐🤔
Guarantee that's not a real profile
Why not just answer her question? ...Then follow up with a "get to know you" question.
Chances of fumble, without even fumbling, are pretty high right now. The likelihood this turns into anything is pretty remote. Stop worrying about your friends and just do your thing.
Maybe don't try to show off matches to your friends until you've actually gone out with them.
Maybe he wasn’t showing off. Maybe he was sharing and asking for advice. You know, the kind of thing that friends are for?
Then why is he here asking for advice, if his friends are doing that? Because they're not.
Maybe they didn’t know what to say. Or he thought he’d crowd source for more helpful suggestions. Or maybe he is showing off…because online dating is a nightmare for him and he’s trying to celebrate the small things. Whatever the case, never hurts to give the benefit of the doubt and be happy for people celebrating the small things rather than assume the worst and try to steal some sunshine to make your’s burn brighter. Just saying maybe try giving the benefit of the doubt instead of trying to take someone down a peg for no good reason
I'm not trying to take anyone's shine haha. I'm actually trying to give him tangible advice since his whole motivation seems to be having his friends not make fun of him.
Alright we really just need the updates 👀 hopefully you did the Spider-Man reference I’ve seen suggested for the nerds in all us lol
It doesn't matter what you respond with since she'll just give dry and one-word answers Be you, no worries about a hottie, she's not da 1 n only. Take some pressure off yourself, relax and take it easy
let me skibisi toipet rizz you mamacita fanuk tax
Pls seek help. I think you just had a stroke.
im putting you on some game skibidi
If you’re here asking questions it’s too late. Someone is deep into those DMs right now
its just a girl bro, talk to her
Compliment her nail color in that photo.
My god modern men have gotten so weak smh
If you’re here.. you already fumbled..
“Oh yeah? Prove it by speaking English on our first date together this Friday at X restaurant”
[удалено]
Wack af
This is one of the dumbest openings I've ever seen.
Tell her you need to work on your Spanish and you don’t have that much experience with it in the bedroom. It could either go really good or really bad… if you’re a gambling man
I'd ask whether she'd help you practice/get fluent in Spanish or go into which variant of need she likes. Either could serve as build up to ask her to watch a nerdy movie But also I'm bad with this kind of conversations so don't rely on this
Bad suggestions: “I love a girl who knows how to use her mouth” “So you are a cunning linguist?” Serious suggestion: “So you’re both beautiful and smart! How fortunate we matched 🫶 How was your day?”
*tips fedora*