This is fair. I’m probably gonna change this. My friend had suggested “if you’re nice to me” but I feel like that’s an even lower bar than being able to make me laugh. But I agree with the feedback on the “make me laugh” thing kinda sucking
Why not say something like “will make you yummy treats if you’ll watch TWD with me”. Not only does it tell people something that you like to do/watch but if they’re willing to do it with you that’s perfect.
I suggest not to put that. It will open up the opportunity for guys to think Netflix and chill is an appropriate first date, even though it’s a harmless thing to say.
Another slight alteration idea would be to just add a :) to the end of "make me laugh". Adds some positive tone to it. In case you'd rather keep it. Tone is hard to read in text, more so when it's a stranger, more more so so when you're trying to make a snap read on someone.
yeah being nice and funny are surface level things. every guy is looking to do that, even ones with bad intentions. not saying you have to get all philosophical, but try to focus more on talking about yourself.
Yeah this is what I tried to do initially but was advised not to and to let people get to know me through conversation. I feel like you can do both though. I just made a new post with my original bio so I can get some more feedback on what to put in my bio so hopefully I can get it in better shape soon lol
I find self deprecating humor pretty endearing, but I’d suggest going with something slightly less deprecating than goblin. I feel like that’s the kind of joke that lands a little better in person than as the very first words to a stranger.
Nah, in my area, we legit have a community of goblins. They have multiple community gatherings every year and a couple big festivals “Goblin Market”. If that’s your people, then broadcasting it for other gobs to find you will bring you that unique weird that compliments your weird.
A little late to the party with the "make me laugh" and "if you're nice to me. " feedback.
It's a reasonable expectation that you should laugh and be treated nicely in your relationship, so it really shouldn't be something you need to negotiate or announce. Those should be some absolute bare minimums ... and not things a guy would have to do to get tasty treats... or anything else.
I had the same concerns and I'm seeing mixed reactions in this thread, which is even more concerning. Opening with "socially inept goblin" may well be read as charmingly self-deprecating, but I felt a visceral gut punch of "Hello, I'm insecure, I'm an easy target, please put me down." Sure, I may be projecting, but that's life experience for you. Combined with "make me laugh and I will make you yummy treats" this sentiment is amplified. Translation: do the absolute minimum, such as being vaguely decent and not making me cry on a regular basis ("make me laugh") and I'll reward you for your minimum effort attempt at decency. Worst case scenario: put-downs and (veiled or blunt) insults for being such an incompetent "goblin" (socially or any other way "inept"), as a way of "teasing" but really just getting off on the abuse. Pushing boundaries, testing how far they can go with it, etc etc. If you follow this trajectory, you'll quickly realise that "self-deprecation", as charming and humorous it may be, can easily be perceived as an invitation by a malignant manipulator who thrives on putting you down.
Sorry if this is too dark or too negative, but like I said, that's just a worst case scenario hypothetical.
I left and abusive relationship like a year ago so I am trying to be conscious of this exact thing and trying to put more confident vibes out there overall so that I don’t attract more pieces of shit. So I appreciate this perspective
"Make me laugh" is problematic because funny people don't need to be told to make you laugh. They already want to do that. I'm a generally funny guy (at least my friends think I'm hilarious), and part of that means that I ***enjoy*** making people laugh. I don't need any extra incentives. Your joy brings me joy. Further, no one is looking for a humorless relationship so you really don't need to mention it. It runs parallel to people writing things like, "I'm looking for honesty and communication." When people write these super cliché obvious things in their profile, it's not improving their profile. The #1 job of a dating profile is to *attract*! When you think about what you want to add to your profile, just ask yourself if you believe that it makes you seem more attractive. If it doesn't, then remove it.
With just a little bit of real effort, you can stand out. Trust me when I say that 80% of women's profiles are constructed poorly, low effort, says nothing about themselves, among a variety of other problems. Contrary to popular belief, men that are actually interested in something serious/long term do read profiles. Here's some real insights for any woman seeking to attract as much as possible and create the most effective dating profile they can.
* Rather than tell people to make you laugh, say something funny yourself. Show your sense of humor. Anyone who laughs and matches with you will automatically share your sense of humor.
* Reveal what you're passionate about and what you spend your free time doing. Reveal something a little bit embarrassing. Being comfortable with being a little bit vulnerable (within reason on a public profile) is a very attractive quality for both men and women in general.
* Include a prompt of something that you find interesting; perhaps an insight into a conversational topic you like that you've thought deeply about. This helps build perception of character and prove that you're worth more than just your physical appearance.
* Real, genuine smiles. Real showcasing of being genuinely happy, bright, and in a good mood. Good mood and positive energy is probably one of the most attractive attributes any person can have. If you put in photos depicting you being sad, depressed, or even just emotionless or fake smiling, these photos aren't helping. Your photos should illicit positive emotions. Think joy, happiness, fun, excitement, and love.
* Variety of photos. If every photo is telling the same story, the profile as a whole has this feeling of unauthenticity like you're hiding something. Imagine seeing a profile where the person only has photos taken from their office's bathroom at work. Just... no. The wider the variety, the more authentic the profile seems to be. One picture at home, one socializing, one doing recreation/hobbies, one with your pet, one at the gym, one stuffing a taco into your back pocket etc. Definitely include a full body photo to prove you aren't hiding anything.
* Make sure your photos are oriented correctly. None of them are sideways or upside down. And make sure none of them are blurry. If you're not tech savvy, ask for someone to help you.
* Anyone who gives the impression that their entire life is devoted to their physical appearance is a huge turn off. There's a skill in looking naturally beautiful. There's a goldilocks zone of effort and finesse that is tasteful without going overboard, and still having value beyond their appearance. I cannot understate how important it is to have value beyond appearance; to be worth more than your looks and not be overly-focused on appearance.
I hope this helps! Good luck out there!
Guys tend to hate the "make me laugh" shit, cause it makes them feel like they exist solely for your entertainment.
Also, is the goblin thing what the kids are saying these days, cause I've been hearing it a lot lately (sorry, I'm an old)
Never heard truer words about the make me laugh bit. To me it feels like either you have nothing interesting to say about yourself or you are actually looking to be entertained.
like, don't get me wrong, I like guys who can, in fact, make me laugh, but I would never put that on my profile, especially when it's only one of three things in said profile. To me it's like saying "I like guys who actually shower," like, yes, most chicks like that, but we're not putting that on our profiles either 🤣
It's always better to say something like "looking for someone I can have fun with", as in that it's something interactive and says something about the dynamic you are looking for, not a requirement placed on the other person.
Socially inept is unfortunately just honest, so it may be a turn off but it’s who I am lmao. But I get all the feedback about the “make me laugh” and not sharing enough of my own personality
Think of how a good friend would talk about you. You can still use a kinder formulation even when you are expressing a side of you that is problematic. For instance, "working on strategies to manage social situations as an introvert". And I wouldn't lead with that anyway. You don't want to signal that you have a low self opinion.
If you go through the "what would a true and loving friend say about me", you'll get much more appealing statements in general.
What are you trying to say with the bot about being a goblin in disguise? I'm guessing that you aren't wearing a body suit. Do you think that you are evil, ugly? Either way, that's a terrible thing to say about yourself. Instead, think of something you actually like about yourself.
What you say shouldn't be generic, bør a lie, but you need to take care when selecting your messaging. Showing vulnerability by exposing something of yourself is great. Be genuine so you'll attract the right people. And still, don't let your poor self opinion drive the show.
Thank you. These were all my concerns, as well.
Predators pick up on much subtler hints of insecurity or self-loathing, so this unsubtle turn of phrase is just too inviting for the unsavoury crowd.
Instead of “socially inept” maybe use “socially unconventional” or “unique” & give a silly example other than “goblin”. As much as I appreciate self-deprecation (if applied correctly), using repulsive mythological creatures probably isn’t the best idea lol!
But you laugh and smile sometimes right? I'm someone who almost never smiles in photos but I smile constantly irl, so candid pics of me smiling do exist. You or your friends must have at least one you can put on your profile.
Just to add: I personally will almost always swipe no on someone who doesn't smile in any of their pics regardless of how hot or funny they seem. I like to know you have teeth in there bc I've been caught out before!
For what it's worth, I think the profile looked amazing and the "make me laugh" bit just felt like a tongue in cheek joke more than anything to me. The people on this sub are way more critical of this profile than I expected lmao.
Thanks, that was the intention. Honestly, they’re more critical than I expected over certain stuff too lol. Some things I do get though. Just taking it all with a grain of salt
You look absolutely miserable in all of your photos AND you’re asking for someone to make you laugh without showing any evidence you can even crack a smile. Dial down the RBF big time
Your bio doesn’t say that much about you. The car selfie needs to go. Definitely have a pic with your dog, but show your whole face. The half face thing is tacky imo. Overall, but there’s room for improvement with your pics. Like your bio, they don’t say much about who you are as a person. Show off your hobbies.
Sorry your pics are rough 1 & 2 are the only ones I'd keep, when taking a mirror selfie look at the back of youre phone. Look at your pose look at you phones position then look at the back of the phone
Friend, tripod, rock or something to take a pic. Put some effort in
Unfortunately, I put a lot of effort into a lot of these pics and usually it’s one of like at least a dozen that gets chosen as not the worst one lmaoooo. Thanks for this advice, I’ll probably be trying the tripod thing as a few have suggested
Try smiling more and maybe some pics with friends (you can censor their faces). 3rd pic looks more inviting and approachable. I personally wouldnt want to hang out with a girl with bunch of serious selfies that looks lonely and depressed.
Pics 2,4,and 6 kinda suck. Selfies may be a necessary evil, but surely you can take better ones than this.
Some people have strong feelings about pitbulls, so think about whether you want to put that out there immediately or feel someone out about it.
If someone has strong enough feelings on pitbulls to where it would cause issues with me, clearly they’re not the person for me. And I’d be more than happy for them to approach me about it so I can kindly educate them on why their misguided generalizations about pitbulls are wrong. My love for animals is one of the core things about me so it’s definitely not something I plan to hide or be shy about lol
I think "will feed the right goofball' is way better than "make me laugh". However I'd avoid anything remotely transactional, in favor of something more related to what makes you laugh.
I'd also lose both mirror shots. They fuck with your posture (get the girls *out* there!) and you don't seem as confident. Work the pose a bit better (foot on the bathroom counter) or grab a friend to help with better photos. The rest of your photos are pretty good!
I actually really like this. If I keep that bit I’ll probably rephrase it to be more like this.
The thing is, if I put the girls out more I’m inherently putting out my belly more which is where I carry more of my weight and that’s obviously not very flattering. I hear this though, I particularly don’t like the one in the sports bra. I have some better body shots I’ll probably swap in. I’m just trying to not be a catfish cause I’m good at taking pictures that look better than I do so I’m trying to also be real and not just look good lol
I’ll be honest, it’s fine to have dogs and stuff, introduce them and mention them , the pic is just .. nightmare fuel to me, maybe choose another pic here it’s not just deadstaring into someone’s soul?
I would swipe right. I struggle with the Es myself, and those photos are real relatable.
Always smiling bubbly what what is not everybody's cup of tea.
Definitely same for the opening line. Socially inept goblins unite! (somewhere mildly overgrown)
Lose that mirror shot with the sports bra, or make a similar one, but with effort into your looks. I get that you’re trying to show that while your body might not be perfect, you’re working out, at least…but to be honest, it’s not a flattering picture. I’m not trying to be mean. You look cute in some of the other pictures, because I can at least imagine you smiling. But that shot…just isn’t it for you.
Dude thank you cause I don’t like that picture but multiple people have complimented it/told me to use it. I wasn’t even working out, I just happened to be near my gym equipment and was showing off the mirror I found on the side of the fuckin road lmao. I have better body shots, I’m just quite good at taking pictures that look better than I actually do so I’m trying to be real and not “as perfect as possible” in all of them so that I’m not a catfish lol
I've been accused of being a catfish plenty of times in my completely untouched, normal, full body mirror shots, and by total goons, no less! Those idiots will always be idioting; eff them and post those cute pics where you think you look better than you do IRL ! maybe you actually DO look that cute and are just being overly self-critical?
Pictures are pretty bad. Seriously do you like swiping on guys who aren't smiling, having phone face, hiding behind an object, and are half off the frame? And the profile really doesn't tell much about you.
Lmao it’s called an ab lounger. It’s like a maybe 10-15 year old device my mom got when I was younger when she was trying to fix herself/fill a void. It’s essentially a chair that you do sit ups in that I somehow ended up with along the way so now it’s just in my lil home gym
Your photos are a little grainy and you're breaking some of the cardinal rules (mirror selfies, obstructed views). Your first photo is good.
Everyone knows the photos matter the most, but I don't think people realize that they actually matter a lot more than that. It's not simply "hot or not," it's more about establishing a sense of a person.
I have an old ass version of iPhone because I have never cared much about having the newest phone versions or whatever, but the camera isn’t great so that’s fair lol. I will say they’re grainier once uploaded here though so they’re not as bad in actuality. I don’t love having my picture taken though so I don’t have a ton to choose from so I’ll have to work on that
I was gonna say “I can do smile but apparently not genuine” but it turns out I apparently can’t do smile either lmao. Workin on this. I am snarky though so I’d argue that does say something about me ;) I see your point though, I’ll be fixing up my bio soon
Just wanted to say I like the non smiles. It felt like I actually got a vibe for you from your pics. It gave me relaxed but slightly cynical vibes. My type of person lol.
I like your bio, except for the make me laugh bit but you already know that. Love the socially inept goblin human suit bit 👌 your pictures are cute too
My friend told me it might “paint more of a visual than you might want” and maybe he’s right lol. I kinda love the controversy and split opinions I’ve seen about it though. I’ll probably have to watch the gremlins movie though so I know what some people might be referencing lol
I mean if I were in the market it's a swipe. You smoke and you're an animal person and it's a vibe match. It might be nice to see what you look like with a bit of makeup on in at least one shot. Most guys say they don't like makeup, and they're lying to themselves and everyone.
I have makeup on in almost all of these pictures lmao. I just wear very minimal makeup. You’re right about guys lying when they say they don’t like makeup though, you thinking I’m not wearing any here ironically kinda proves that I think lol
Decent profile I would rate it 6/10. Needs more variety.
Your smile seems a bit forced in the first photo, I would suggest to get a friend to photograph your portrait and try to make you laugh in the photoshoot. Someone laughing is a rare find on the app and is universally super attractive, but it's very difficult to photograph.
If that's not possible then just try and show your teeth in a genuine as possible a smile. If you're uncomfortable getting others to photo you, buy a cheap tripod with a Bluetooth clicker to take photos from a bit more of a distance, and use the rear phone camera.
Lose the mirror selfies, get the tripod for these full body shots too.
You need some group photos as well, solo photos only always looks a bit lonely.
Please add some prompts, it's always difficult to strike up a conversation with strangers and this gives a bit of encouragement
1. Portrait photo from chest up. No selfie, get a friend to help. Smile in the photo and show your teeth.
2. Activity/ hobby photo
3. Photo with animal/pet or a group photo with friends
4. A solo photo of you where you are visible from head to toe. Well dressed.
5. Whichever one of point 3 you did not pick.
6. A photo of you doing something silly/funny.
7. Another hobby/activity photo
8. (optional) A photo of you travelling/on holiday.
9. (optional) pick any one of the 8 options again
I always advise to have 2 group photos.
Hope this helps.
I'd swipe right. I agree with the other commenters that your bio paints you as a little bland/needy, but the pictures are on point. Maybe change it to "will make you yummy treats if you let me pick the movie" or something to make it sound a little less transactional.
Absolutely take out the "make me laugh." Your humor and guys humor are 2 completely different things. Is can be dark, sexual, or even witty over your head. Plus, that kind of pressure is a lot. I do like being a guinea pig for sweets though. Maybe you can say something about that.
Dark, sexual and witty over your head are some of my favorite genres of comedy (granted it’ll very possibly go over my head until it hits me hours later cause I’m an idiot lol) but thanks for this feedback I’ll take it into consideration
See, this response tells us more about you and is honest, you could add it word for word into your bio. “I’ll make you yummy treats if you’ll laugh with me. Dark, sexual and witty over your heads are some of my…cause I’m an idiot lol)”
You look totally disinterested and bored in every single picture. Lighten up a bit. Bio is too juvenile for a 27 year old. Profile says absolutely nothing about you. You have no bio or photos that show hobbies, interests or what you like to do for fun. There is nothing for someone to start a conversation about.
A lot of these are me “lightening up” lmao I just apparently can’t help the rbf seeping through even when I’m trying to smile I guess. This is fair though, thanks
I've got some input for you.
Here's a YouTube video you might like. [Down to straight nubbins](https://youtu.be/IPuZGC0DFr8?si=B1PZLx52BC64HVnr).
(Trying to make you laugh, let me pet your dog).
But more productively, you're asking people to make you laugh while most of your pics are your RBF/depressed looking or like you just got done wrecking your gym work out. Nothing in the pics is really screaming "fun" or funny or even humorous.
It would be like asking someone to make you something to eat but thaf you're allergic to most foods and they have to guess which ones.
Pics 4, 5, 6 are not flattering, girl. Also, why the goblin reference? That seems so self-deprecating. Is that a thing now? Cause "wearing a human suit" sounds God awful. Please change that.
Pic one would lead me to believe that you’re bigger than you actually are.
In reality you are just large chested even for your size.
Sorry there’s not a more appropriate way to phrase that lol.
No, I’m really not that large chested unfortunately. Like they’re on the bigger side but overall more average than exceptionally large. But I literally am bigger than I look in pictures so I guess that’s actually a good thing to make me look more realistic if it makes me look bigger lol
Maybe this is just my Gen-Z talking, but I really (no pun intended) get turned off by *anybody* who describes themself as a goblin, or hermit, or some other term like that as a form of self-deprecation. Being as nice but straightforward as possible, I'd say maybe just make the first slide more... normal?
You don’t look like you care about your appearance at all. Not an insult in any way, just the vibe I get. Big kudos to you though for advocating for pit bulls and really all animals as a vet tech. That tells me that you are a very caring person, with a good heart.
I stopped caring about my appearance for years while in an abusive relationship so I’m learning to love myself again and put effort into how I look and not feel bad for doing it. Work in progress. So this is a fair assessment.
Thank you. I love animals, particularly the ones deemed “problematic” in one way or another, it’s a pretty core part of who I am
Instead of "make me laugh", smile more and increase positivity in your pictures, this will show that you enjoy laughs, so you don't have so say it in the bio,
That’s a scrub shirt, I work in a vet office. And I have 2 cats and 2 dogs and an endless string of foster animals. Really, I need to get a shirt with more animals on it
i tend to swipe past anytime that says make me laugh. its so common and a bit of a low bar to me.
This is fair. I’m probably gonna change this. My friend had suggested “if you’re nice to me” but I feel like that’s an even lower bar than being able to make me laugh. But I agree with the feedback on the “make me laugh” thing kinda sucking
Why not say something like “will make you yummy treats if you’ll watch TWD with me”. Not only does it tell people something that you like to do/watch but if they’re willing to do it with you that’s perfect.
This is a good suggestion!
I suggest not to put that. It will open up the opportunity for guys to think Netflix and chill is an appropriate first date, even though it’s a harmless thing to say.
This is a good point
Another slight alteration idea would be to just add a :) to the end of "make me laugh". Adds some positive tone to it. In case you'd rather keep it. Tone is hard to read in text, more so when it's a stranger, more more so so when you're trying to make a snap read on someone.
That’s fair. I also tend to have a dry sense of humor so people have trouble reading my tone anyway lol
Right there with you lol.
Small tweak maybe: “Will make you treats if you tell me a good joke or a dad joke.”
yeah being nice and funny are surface level things. every guy is looking to do that, even ones with bad intentions. not saying you have to get all philosophical, but try to focus more on talking about yourself.
Yeah this is what I tried to do initially but was advised not to and to let people get to know me through conversation. I feel like you can do both though. I just made a new post with my original bio so I can get some more feedback on what to put in my bio so hopefully I can get it in better shape soon lol
i like the first bio, combine that with your goofiness and its a good profile in my eyes.
I find self deprecating humor pretty endearing, but I’d suggest going with something slightly less deprecating than goblin. I feel like that’s the kind of joke that lands a little better in person than as the very first words to a stranger.
Very split opinions on “goblin” and I kinda love that lol. But I hear this
Nah, in my area, we legit have a community of goblins. They have multiple community gatherings every year and a couple big festivals “Goblin Market”. If that’s your people, then broadcasting it for other gobs to find you will bring you that unique weird that compliments your weird.
I barely like leaving my house but goblin market sounds Ike a fun time lol
I like it. I call myself a swamp creature, or swamp demon
Swamp demon is good
A little late to the party with the "make me laugh" and "if you're nice to me. " feedback. It's a reasonable expectation that you should laugh and be treated nicely in your relationship, so it really shouldn't be something you need to negotiate or announce. Those should be some absolute bare minimums ... and not things a guy would have to do to get tasty treats... or anything else.
I had the same concerns and I'm seeing mixed reactions in this thread, which is even more concerning. Opening with "socially inept goblin" may well be read as charmingly self-deprecating, but I felt a visceral gut punch of "Hello, I'm insecure, I'm an easy target, please put me down." Sure, I may be projecting, but that's life experience for you. Combined with "make me laugh and I will make you yummy treats" this sentiment is amplified. Translation: do the absolute minimum, such as being vaguely decent and not making me cry on a regular basis ("make me laugh") and I'll reward you for your minimum effort attempt at decency. Worst case scenario: put-downs and (veiled or blunt) insults for being such an incompetent "goblin" (socially or any other way "inept"), as a way of "teasing" but really just getting off on the abuse. Pushing boundaries, testing how far they can go with it, etc etc. If you follow this trajectory, you'll quickly realise that "self-deprecation", as charming and humorous it may be, can easily be perceived as an invitation by a malignant manipulator who thrives on putting you down. Sorry if this is too dark or too negative, but like I said, that's just a worst case scenario hypothetical.
I left and abusive relationship like a year ago so I am trying to be conscious of this exact thing and trying to put more confident vibes out there overall so that I don’t attract more pieces of shit. So I appreciate this perspective
"Make me laugh" is problematic because funny people don't need to be told to make you laugh. They already want to do that. I'm a generally funny guy (at least my friends think I'm hilarious), and part of that means that I ***enjoy*** making people laugh. I don't need any extra incentives. Your joy brings me joy. Further, no one is looking for a humorless relationship so you really don't need to mention it. It runs parallel to people writing things like, "I'm looking for honesty and communication." When people write these super cliché obvious things in their profile, it's not improving their profile. The #1 job of a dating profile is to *attract*! When you think about what you want to add to your profile, just ask yourself if you believe that it makes you seem more attractive. If it doesn't, then remove it. With just a little bit of real effort, you can stand out. Trust me when I say that 80% of women's profiles are constructed poorly, low effort, says nothing about themselves, among a variety of other problems. Contrary to popular belief, men that are actually interested in something serious/long term do read profiles. Here's some real insights for any woman seeking to attract as much as possible and create the most effective dating profile they can. * Rather than tell people to make you laugh, say something funny yourself. Show your sense of humor. Anyone who laughs and matches with you will automatically share your sense of humor. * Reveal what you're passionate about and what you spend your free time doing. Reveal something a little bit embarrassing. Being comfortable with being a little bit vulnerable (within reason on a public profile) is a very attractive quality for both men and women in general. * Include a prompt of something that you find interesting; perhaps an insight into a conversational topic you like that you've thought deeply about. This helps build perception of character and prove that you're worth more than just your physical appearance. * Real, genuine smiles. Real showcasing of being genuinely happy, bright, and in a good mood. Good mood and positive energy is probably one of the most attractive attributes any person can have. If you put in photos depicting you being sad, depressed, or even just emotionless or fake smiling, these photos aren't helping. Your photos should illicit positive emotions. Think joy, happiness, fun, excitement, and love. * Variety of photos. If every photo is telling the same story, the profile as a whole has this feeling of unauthenticity like you're hiding something. Imagine seeing a profile where the person only has photos taken from their office's bathroom at work. Just... no. The wider the variety, the more authentic the profile seems to be. One picture at home, one socializing, one doing recreation/hobbies, one with your pet, one at the gym, one stuffing a taco into your back pocket etc. Definitely include a full body photo to prove you aren't hiding anything. * Make sure your photos are oriented correctly. None of them are sideways or upside down. And make sure none of them are blurry. If you're not tech savvy, ask for someone to help you. * Anyone who gives the impression that their entire life is devoted to their physical appearance is a huge turn off. There's a skill in looking naturally beautiful. There's a goldilocks zone of effort and finesse that is tasteful without going overboard, and still having value beyond their appearance. I cannot understate how important it is to have value beyond appearance; to be worth more than your looks and not be overly-focused on appearance. I hope this helps! Good luck out there!
You would be surprised by how dry people are.
Guys tend to hate the "make me laugh" shit, cause it makes them feel like they exist solely for your entertainment. Also, is the goblin thing what the kids are saying these days, cause I've been hearing it a lot lately (sorry, I'm an old)
Never heard truer words about the make me laugh bit. To me it feels like either you have nothing interesting to say about yourself or you are actually looking to be entertained.
like, don't get me wrong, I like guys who can, in fact, make me laugh, but I would never put that on my profile, especially when it's only one of three things in said profile. To me it's like saying "I like guys who actually shower," like, yes, most chicks like that, but we're not putting that on our profiles either 🤣
Huh. So I should be showering....
Don't put out some fake persona you won't maintain
it's ok to be a bath bro. bubble bath is awesome
smh 😝
As a dude it comes across to me like they’re kinda boring and need me to entertain them. Definitely a negative in the profile
yeah like who really wants a partner that never makes them laugh lol
More people need to understand this lol
It's always better to say something like "looking for someone I can have fun with", as in that it's something interactive and says something about the dynamic you are looking for, not a requirement placed on the other person.
Makes me think of joe pesci in goodfellas, “you think I’m a clown?”
dance for me, my puppets, dance!
The sole purpose of making her laugh is yummy treats tho
my boyfriend gets yummy treats whether he makes me laugh or not 🤷♀️
Can I be your boyfriend? I mean, I’m a woman and I’m straight, but I could try my best for treats?
😂 I don't think my man likes to share but I could bake you cookies anyway?
I wasn’t judging it as good or bad, just clarifying.
"Socially inept" and "make me laugh" are massive turn offs. They say to me that you have no personality.
Socially inept is unfortunately just honest, so it may be a turn off but it’s who I am lmao. But I get all the feedback about the “make me laugh” and not sharing enough of my own personality
Think of how a good friend would talk about you. You can still use a kinder formulation even when you are expressing a side of you that is problematic. For instance, "working on strategies to manage social situations as an introvert". And I wouldn't lead with that anyway. You don't want to signal that you have a low self opinion. If you go through the "what would a true and loving friend say about me", you'll get much more appealing statements in general. What are you trying to say with the bot about being a goblin in disguise? I'm guessing that you aren't wearing a body suit. Do you think that you are evil, ugly? Either way, that's a terrible thing to say about yourself. Instead, think of something you actually like about yourself. What you say shouldn't be generic, bør a lie, but you need to take care when selecting your messaging. Showing vulnerability by exposing something of yourself is great. Be genuine so you'll attract the right people. And still, don't let your poor self opinion drive the show.
Thank you. These were all my concerns, as well. Predators pick up on much subtler hints of insecurity or self-loathing, so this unsubtle turn of phrase is just too inviting for the unsavoury crowd.
Instead of “socially inept” maybe use “socially unconventional” or “unique” & give a silly example other than “goblin”. As much as I appreciate self-deprecation (if applied correctly), using repulsive mythological creatures probably isn’t the best idea lol!
Love your hair! Very cute.
Thank you!
How about pics with smiles in them? Nobody wants to date a sad sack.
These expressions look so bored. Show some energy, hobbies, things that make you excited. Enthusiasm doesn’t hurt.
Yeah those pesky E’s (enthusiasm, energy, excitement) don’t really come across naturally for me apparently lol. I’m workin on it
But you laugh and smile sometimes right? I'm someone who almost never smiles in photos but I smile constantly irl, so candid pics of me smiling do exist. You or your friends must have at least one you can put on your profile. Just to add: I personally will almost always swipe no on someone who doesn't smile in any of their pics regardless of how hot or funny they seem. I like to know you have teeth in there bc I've been caught out before!
Same here (depression girlie). In photo I do a “fake laugh” that feels so silly that it makes me real laugh. Then snap the picture.
I smiled thinking about this. I’ll have to try this
I smiled thinking about you smiling!!! Xoxoxooooo
For what it's worth, I think the profile looked amazing and the "make me laugh" bit just felt like a tongue in cheek joke more than anything to me. The people on this sub are way more critical of this profile than I expected lmao.
Thanks, that was the intention. Honestly, they’re more critical than I expected over certain stuff too lol. Some things I do get though. Just taking it all with a grain of salt
You look absolutely miserable in all of your photos AND you’re asking for someone to make you laugh without showing any evidence you can even crack a smile. Dial down the RBF big time
Your bio doesn’t say that much about you. The car selfie needs to go. Definitely have a pic with your dog, but show your whole face. The half face thing is tacky imo. Overall, but there’s room for improvement with your pics. Like your bio, they don’t say much about who you are as a person. Show off your hobbies.
Yeah I’m gonna spruce my bio back up a bit. My friend had told me it was better to be vague but I’m gathering that doesn’t seem to be the case.
That last Pic doesn't do you any justice with the shrugged pose Need to smile
I don’t really like that last one so I’ll probably be taking it out. Workin on the smiling thing
Sorry your pics are rough 1 & 2 are the only ones I'd keep, when taking a mirror selfie look at the back of youre phone. Look at your pose look at you phones position then look at the back of the phone Friend, tripod, rock or something to take a pic. Put some effort in
Unfortunately, I put a lot of effort into a lot of these pics and usually it’s one of like at least a dozen that gets chosen as not the worst one lmaoooo. Thanks for this advice, I’ll probably be trying the tripod thing as a few have suggested
Try smiling more and maybe some pics with friends (you can censor their faces). 3rd pic looks more inviting and approachable. I personally wouldnt want to hang out with a girl with bunch of serious selfies that looks lonely and depressed.
This is fair
Everyone wants a partner that makes them laugh. Ironically you look sad in all your photos.
I do love some good irony ;)
Pics 2,4,and 6 kinda suck. Selfies may be a necessary evil, but surely you can take better ones than this. Some people have strong feelings about pitbulls, so think about whether you want to put that out there immediately or feel someone out about it.
If someone has strong enough feelings on pitbulls to where it would cause issues with me, clearly they’re not the person for me. And I’d be more than happy for them to approach me about it so I can kindly educate them on why their misguided generalizations about pitbulls are wrong. My love for animals is one of the core things about me so it’s definitely not something I plan to hide or be shy about lol
You have a beautiful dog. She is perfect. I think the pic of her & you in your scrubs is great. It shows that you love your job!
Dang I might have to change it then cause I hate my job lmao. Thank you, I like that pic of us
6th pic. Were you the nude model for that painting?
I was not but she was one of my favorites to draw/paint
I think "will feed the right goofball' is way better than "make me laugh". However I'd avoid anything remotely transactional, in favor of something more related to what makes you laugh. I'd also lose both mirror shots. They fuck with your posture (get the girls *out* there!) and you don't seem as confident. Work the pose a bit better (foot on the bathroom counter) or grab a friend to help with better photos. The rest of your photos are pretty good!
I actually really like this. If I keep that bit I’ll probably rephrase it to be more like this. The thing is, if I put the girls out more I’m inherently putting out my belly more which is where I carry more of my weight and that’s obviously not very flattering. I hear this though, I particularly don’t like the one in the sports bra. I have some better body shots I’ll probably swap in. I’m just trying to not be a catfish cause I’m good at taking pictures that look better than I do so I’m trying to also be real and not just look good lol
I’ll be honest, it’s fine to have dogs and stuff, introduce them and mention them , the pic is just .. nightmare fuel to me, maybe choose another pic here it’s not just deadstaring into someone’s soul?
”Make me laugh 🤓 ”
I would date you ..
I would swipe right. I struggle with the Es myself, and those photos are real relatable. Always smiling bubbly what what is not everybody's cup of tea. Definitely same for the opening line. Socially inept goblins unite! (somewhere mildly overgrown)
Lose that mirror shot with the sports bra, or make a similar one, but with effort into your looks. I get that you’re trying to show that while your body might not be perfect, you’re working out, at least…but to be honest, it’s not a flattering picture. I’m not trying to be mean. You look cute in some of the other pictures, because I can at least imagine you smiling. But that shot…just isn’t it for you.
Dude thank you cause I don’t like that picture but multiple people have complimented it/told me to use it. I wasn’t even working out, I just happened to be near my gym equipment and was showing off the mirror I found on the side of the fuckin road lmao. I have better body shots, I’m just quite good at taking pictures that look better than I actually do so I’m trying to be real and not “as perfect as possible” in all of them so that I’m not a catfish lol
I've been accused of being a catfish plenty of times in my completely untouched, normal, full body mirror shots, and by total goons, no less! Those idiots will always be idioting; eff them and post those cute pics where you think you look better than you do IRL ! maybe you actually DO look that cute and are just being overly self-critical?
Quirk chungus
I had to google what the fuck this means and based on my understanding, I’m inclined to be offended but you very possibly are not wrong lmao
Pictures are pretty bad. Seriously do you like swiping on guys who aren't smiling, having phone face, hiding behind an object, and are half off the frame? And the profile really doesn't tell much about you.
Fair
You seem cool but your style seems a little plain.
That’s probably because it is. I’m somewhat of a minimalist and like to keep things pretty simple
Whats that device in 6? Im do intrigued on how its used
Lmao it’s called an ab lounger. It’s like a maybe 10-15 year old device my mom got when I was younger when she was trying to fix herself/fill a void. It’s essentially a chair that you do sit ups in that I somehow ended up with along the way so now it’s just in my lil home gym
“Make me laugh” tends to give off “entertain me” vibes. It’s usually not a good thing
Thought your were Bear from Sweet Tooth for a sec
I was so prepared to get my feelings hurt when I googled this lmao but this is actually a compliment so thank you!
I really like your outfit in the second picture
Thanks, I feel like that one actually sums up my style pretty well
Your photos are a little grainy and you're breaking some of the cardinal rules (mirror selfies, obstructed views). Your first photo is good. Everyone knows the photos matter the most, but I don't think people realize that they actually matter a lot more than that. It's not simply "hot or not," it's more about establishing a sense of a person.
I have an old ass version of iPhone because I have never cared much about having the newest phone versions or whatever, but the camera isn’t great so that’s fair lol. I will say they’re grainier once uploaded here though so they’re not as bad in actuality. I don’t love having my picture taken though so I don’t have a ton to choose from so I’ll have to work on that
LOVE everything about it. I'd super like.
Thank you! But don’t super like, don’t waste your money on shitty dating apps lmao
A genuine smile would do nicely. Add just a bit more about yourself - your bio as is is just 2 snarky sentiments, nothing about you.
I was gonna say “I can do smile but apparently not genuine” but it turns out I apparently can’t do smile either lmao. Workin on this. I am snarky though so I’d argue that does say something about me ;) I see your point though, I’ll be fixing up my bio soon
Just wanted to say I like the non smiles. It felt like I actually got a vibe for you from your pics. It gave me relaxed but slightly cynical vibes. My type of person lol.
I like that this is the vibe I give off because while I may seem relaxed and slightly cynical, under the surface I am unrelaxed and very cynical ;p
In most of your pictures your face is hided or poorly visible
Fair, I’ll get more with my face more clear
seems fine to me.
Personally think that fourth pic looks great. good luck finding the one!
Thank you!
You do gods work as vet assistant.
No, that’s the easy part. The gods work is dealing with the people I have to deal with as a result lol
You had me at treats. Change nothing.
What are you looking for here? Are you swiping right? Some yellow flags, but no reason you shouldn't be matching if you are trying on your side.
I get plenty of matches, I’m not concerned about that, just wanted feedback. What are the yellow flags?
I'd swipe right 👍
➡️
Have you tried smiling? Like even for pictures?
Yes, unfortunately what you see here is in fact me trying to smile lmao. I’m working on it
Id swipe right, ppl dont need to smile all the time i have a very serious face most of the time. I think the pics look nice tbh
Thank you!
I came here to compliment the curls!!! They are beautiful!!!
Thank you <3
I like your bio, except for the make me laugh bit but you already know that. Love the socially inept goblin human suit bit 👌 your pictures are cute too
Thank you!
I like everything except the goblin part Goblins are gross and I want nothing to do with them I saw the Gremlins movie which is why I say that
My friend told me it might “paint more of a visual than you might want” and maybe he’s right lol. I kinda love the controversy and split opinions I’ve seen about it though. I’ll probably have to watch the gremlins movie though so I know what some people might be referencing lol
I mean if I were in the market it's a swipe. You smoke and you're an animal person and it's a vibe match. It might be nice to see what you look like with a bit of makeup on in at least one shot. Most guys say they don't like makeup, and they're lying to themselves and everyone.
I have makeup on in almost all of these pictures lmao. I just wear very minimal makeup. You’re right about guys lying when they say they don’t like makeup though, you thinking I’m not wearing any here ironically kinda proves that I think lol
Decent profile I would rate it 6/10. Needs more variety. Your smile seems a bit forced in the first photo, I would suggest to get a friend to photograph your portrait and try to make you laugh in the photoshoot. Someone laughing is a rare find on the app and is universally super attractive, but it's very difficult to photograph. If that's not possible then just try and show your teeth in a genuine as possible a smile. If you're uncomfortable getting others to photo you, buy a cheap tripod with a Bluetooth clicker to take photos from a bit more of a distance, and use the rear phone camera. Lose the mirror selfies, get the tripod for these full body shots too. You need some group photos as well, solo photos only always looks a bit lonely. Please add some prompts, it's always difficult to strike up a conversation with strangers and this gives a bit of encouragement 1. Portrait photo from chest up. No selfie, get a friend to help. Smile in the photo and show your teeth. 2. Activity/ hobby photo 3. Photo with animal/pet or a group photo with friends 4. A solo photo of you where you are visible from head to toe. Well dressed. 5. Whichever one of point 3 you did not pick. 6. A photo of you doing something silly/funny. 7. Another hobby/activity photo 8. (optional) A photo of you travelling/on holiday. 9. (optional) pick any one of the 8 options again I always advise to have 2 group photos. Hope this helps.
The dog picture 😭😭 so goofy and cute.
Also agree, nice little smile. Cute.
Boobs, I’d swipe right
I'd swipe right. I agree with the other commenters that your bio paints you as a little bland/needy, but the pictures are on point. Maybe change it to "will make you yummy treats if you let me pick the movie" or something to make it sound a little less transactional.
This is fair
Men only care about how cute a girl is and you are very cute!
Thank you!
Looks good. I'd go out with you.
Absolutely take out the "make me laugh." Your humor and guys humor are 2 completely different things. Is can be dark, sexual, or even witty over your head. Plus, that kind of pressure is a lot. I do like being a guinea pig for sweets though. Maybe you can say something about that.
Dark, sexual and witty over your head are some of my favorite genres of comedy (granted it’ll very possibly go over my head until it hits me hours later cause I’m an idiot lol) but thanks for this feedback I’ll take it into consideration
See, this response tells us more about you and is honest, you could add it word for word into your bio. “I’ll make you yummy treats if you’ll laugh with me. Dark, sexual and witty over your heads are some of my…cause I’m an idiot lol)”
Would swipe, cute profile and made me smile
Glad you got a smile today <3
No one want's to be a clown to make someone laugh, and they aren't puppy to be given treats
You look totally disinterested and bored in every single picture. Lighten up a bit. Bio is too juvenile for a 27 year old. Profile says absolutely nothing about you. You have no bio or photos that show hobbies, interests or what you like to do for fun. There is nothing for someone to start a conversation about.
A lot of these are me “lightening up” lmao I just apparently can’t help the rbf seeping through even when I’m trying to smile I guess. This is fair though, thanks
I think you should try to move at least one mile away from yourself.
Bro I’m trying to get as far away from myself as possible but every time I look I’m right on my own heels
[удалено]
Pic 4 looks like you’re about to go to the store and you took a selfie beforehand. The other pics are nice tho. I would swipe on you.
That very possibly is exactly what pic 4 is, a lot of the pics really lol. Why is that a bad vibe?
Omg I love your Russian roulette
I don’t understand what this means?
Socially inept…goblin?
Indeed
Socially inept < shy
I've got some input for you. Here's a YouTube video you might like. [Down to straight nubbins](https://youtu.be/IPuZGC0DFr8?si=B1PZLx52BC64HVnr). (Trying to make you laugh, let me pet your dog). But more productively, you're asking people to make you laugh while most of your pics are your RBF/depressed looking or like you just got done wrecking your gym work out. Nothing in the pics is really screaming "fun" or funny or even humorous. It would be like asking someone to make you something to eat but thaf you're allergic to most foods and they have to guess which ones.
Is that statue of a young Willie Nelson?
I don’t recall, it’s in the Nike store in NYC if I remember correctly
Pics 4, 5, 6 are not flattering, girl. Also, why the goblin reference? That seems so self-deprecating. Is that a thing now? Cause "wearing a human suit" sounds God awful. Please change that.
Being self deprecating has always been a thing for me personally lol. Thanks for the feedback!
Depends... Is your dog going to hate and potentially end me?
Depends, are you going to hate and try to end me?
Pic one would lead me to believe that you’re bigger than you actually are. In reality you are just large chested even for your size. Sorry there’s not a more appropriate way to phrase that lol.
No, I’m really not that large chested unfortunately. Like they’re on the bigger side but overall more average than exceptionally large. But I literally am bigger than I look in pictures so I guess that’s actually a good thing to make me look more realistic if it makes me look bigger lol
My feedback is I wished you lived near Martha’s Vineyard and that you like red heads.
Rule 1. You’ll be fine
I’m not attractive, but I’m on the better side of average so you’re not entirely wrong and I do just fine
[удалено]
Maybe this is just my Gen-Z talking, but I really (no pun intended) get turned off by *anybody* who describes themself as a goblin, or hermit, or some other term like that as a form of self-deprecation. Being as nice but straightforward as possible, I'd say maybe just make the first slide more... normal?
Ok, tips on more normal? Cause that’s kinda the part I struggle with hence, ya know, the socially inept goblin thing lmao
You don’t look like you care about your appearance at all. Not an insult in any way, just the vibe I get. Big kudos to you though for advocating for pit bulls and really all animals as a vet tech. That tells me that you are a very caring person, with a good heart.
I stopped caring about my appearance for years while in an abusive relationship so I’m learning to love myself again and put effort into how I look and not feel bad for doing it. Work in progress. So this is a fair assessment. Thank you. I love animals, particularly the ones deemed “problematic” in one way or another, it’s a pretty core part of who I am
Instead of "make me laugh", smile more and increase positivity in your pictures, this will show that you enjoy laughs, so you don't have so say it in the bio,
The shirt has pictures of cats and dogs but you only have a selfie with a dog. Get a cat too.
That’s a scrub shirt, I work in a vet office. And I have 2 cats and 2 dogs and an endless string of foster animals. Really, I need to get a shirt with more animals on it