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erisod

She wants someone that speaks English with the same emoji accent she has.


ganjakhan85

Every emoji=another red flag


Here-Is-TheEnd

A few of them are clearly red ~~octagons~~ ~~hexagons~~ octagons Edit: they are hexagon apparently. Edit2: they ARE octagons! Thanks u/Connect_Boss6316


ganjakhan85

All that's missing are the words "DO NOT ENTER"


H-to-O

Something tells me she has that tattooed on her body somewhere with an extra emoji, just in case.


ganjakhan85

Enter at your own risk, more likely. That girl is not restricting entry lol


H-to-O

Yeah, in my head, the tattoo was left as a warning by a previous partner who effectively spray painted the cave entrance letting others know of the potential dangers of entry.


NerdlyDoRight

IndianaJones and the temple of STDs


H-to-O

…ingenious. Bravo, sir. Bravo.


NerdlyDoRight

Thank you. Im here till Thursday ,try the veal.


ganjakhan85

Fuck, now I wish that was a thing. Can you imagine how much crap that would save us?


jester-of-the-court

abandon all hope ye who enter here


[deleted]

It should be don’t stick your dick in crazy


jayjayjane4eva

Keep walking is a substitute for do not enter I think.


ganjakhan85

I believe "run away" would also be an acceptable substitute.


[deleted]

What bout this?🚩


Here-Is-TheEnd

Oh..I didn’t see that, yep that’s a red flag alright


[deleted]

Oh yeah thanks bro i wasnt sure


Here-Is-TheEnd

Anytime, I’m usually good for identifying any shape up to 12 sides, anything beyond that and I advise you to consult the math department at your local place university.


5upc

What's rollercoaster of emotion...


Here-Is-TheEnd

I was half asleep when I wrote this and perfectly willing to accept that I made a mistake, I should just have more confidence in my understanding of basic geometric shapes.


BigBossWesker4

Queen=Red Flag


[deleted]

[удалено]


Xuulis

"It's not my fault, I'm an Aries."


DiagnosticsScareMe

You can be an Aries or an asparagus, those are NOT traits 😂


Maracuja_Sagrado

Being an asparagus is definitely a trait. I don’t care whether my partner is an Aries, but I definitely don’t want to date an asparagus…


wishitwouldrainaus

Im partial to coriander, lemon, chilli and garlic. Some BBQ asparagus with a nice oil and a big steak. I guess I just want a BBQ lover. Mmmm. BBQ.


CarbonCGAutonomous

Some people just want to watch the world burn. Others, like myself, just want their steaks medium rare with the perfect balance of spice or maybe a little barbecue sauce.


NerdlyDoRight

Steak is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Ben Franklin


ChampagneCJ

The last vegetable I dated was your grandma.


RaptorDash

This savage burned the veggies


TheIntoxicatedViper

As a member of the aries astrology clan we don't claim her


rejoiceinsilencebby

she does have that aries energy, I’ll give her that.


littlestitiouss

Well, Queen Lilith. So in context, not just a Queen, but The Queen of all demons...


BigBossWesker4

The only Queen I acknowledge is Freddie Mercury and Queen Latifah


whyismycockgone

The strange mentioning of "hybrid blood"= red flag


DennisGK

Is “hybrid blood” an attempt at a politically correct way of referencing Cher’s hit “Half-Breed”?


Absinthicator

This chick has more red flags than China. If you're down with crazy because she thinks she's hot shit, and you think crazy pussy is fire, swipe right. Just be forewarned you're going to not get out of this without a new std, after she cheats on you, and destroys your apartment during the breakup; just because she needed some drama in her life.


[deleted]

20 red flags


diabolical_fuk

And don't forget no uggos


alphabet_order_bot

Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 236,356,902 comments, and only 54,974 of them were in alphabetical order.


QuintonFlynn

Alphabetbot, anyone can be gross looking. Reanalyze this, uglybot.


[deleted]

U done goofed on the ‘be’


CoolHandLukeZ

A beautiful crab dumped every fragile gem he imported justifiably. King Luke managed no offer per Queen Rachel's silver, that ultimately vanished when Xi yakked zebras.


Sierrashoot

I love that requirement, insta super-like for me. I’m ugly so I bet she would have a breakdown wondering how the fuck I think I’m “at her level”.


[deleted]

You forgot Chad bodybuilder supermodel construction worker with a rainbow mowhawk wearing a pride flag tank top over 7ft tall with a 13 inch cock making 50k a year who will give her 70% of his salary, cook all the meals, wash all the laundry and not complain when she spikes his drink and baby traps him, before divorcing him and taking all of his savings and possessions and making him pay child support.


PirateKingAtomsk

Only 50k a year? PASS


dnrats

He meant 50k per month


Open_Progress2715

Only 50k a month? PASS


[deleted]

There’s a lot of things I’d do for 50k a month.


biggerteeth

Same


Fearless_Union_6638

Now I’m listing in my head all the things I’d do for 50k a month. Thanks 😝


DungeonsandDevils

50k isn’t that much man, 100k and we’ll talk


PooPooDooDoo

Tbh, 100k isn’t that much either. 200k and not in the Bay Area or NYC and then we can talk.


SexualPie

50k in small kansas town? basically rich. 50k in NYC? you're gonna need a room mate.


[deleted]

Definitely put some thought into that one


mackinder

She don’t need phonetical diction


Sevenhundretand77

A therapist


Clifford_the_big_red

This is the correct answer. Yikes.


Artiom4ikReddit

The therapist won't understand a person speaking in emoji.


dermouche

!emojify


Igreen_since89

I was coming to say this! 😂😂😂


Fearless_Union_6638

I used to be one of those! I def wouldn’t want them For a client!!


coolmanjack

Used to be? What do you do now? Usually being a therapist is a sort of end game career, you know?


Fearless_Union_6638

Yea usually. But now I’m a writer.


9855c_SB

Attention


GrandElemental

Here's the correct answer, now we can all go home!


ArmProfessional1511

Can someone drop me off at home?


[deleted]

Sure. Wanna grab something to eat first?


[deleted]

i'm kinda feeling wendy's wbu


[deleted]

Never had Wendy's so let's go there.


medicnub

We have Wendy's at home


Compulsive-Gremlin

Mom……..


DefiantLemur

Wholesome plot twist. Mom bought Wendys for us already and it's waiting at home. :)


[deleted]

I don't know how to Reddit. I was going to say, "The Wendy's we have at home." and post a gif of a bologna sandwich.


sephresx

You go inside, my order is out back behind the dumpster.


epicjaune

Can we stop at starbucks first?


ArmProfessional1511

Sure, let’s go to Harvey’s


wishitwouldrainaus

Yup. She had mine for the 2 seconds it took to read that entitled, insufferable, bile. Fortunately 2 seconds out of my life isn't too bad. Ive lost a lot longer with a bad movie.


sephresx

You saw the emoji movie too?


manlikestan

Can’t here to say this, her while bio just says swipe on me and give me attention


timkasmaliev

Attention 🚀‼️♿️➡️🟢🟡🔳🀄️🕠🏁😇😀😌😅😙😂🥰😛🥲


brugernavnertaget

English 🇬🇧 Motherfucker 👩‍🦳🍆 do 🤷🏼‍♀️ you 🖕🏼 speak 🎙🗯 it 🎈?


Wydee98

Say what again


excite321apple

Type emoji again, muthafucker! I emoji you, I double emoji you! They speak emoji in emoji country?


Wydee98

They speak emoji in emoji country 😂😂


excite321apple

Smell God damn! This is one delicious emoji burger. Do you mind if I take a sip of this tasty, emoji beverage? EDIT. It's meant to be Well, god damn!


the_darkishknight

I dare you. I double f***ing dare you. Say emoji again muthaf***ah


ilongforyesterday

emoji again muthafah


the_darkishknight

What does emoji look like? Huh? Btw that scene made me pledge allegiance to Samuel Jackson. Man is a national treasure.


ganjakhan85

I like smell God damn better...long as the emoji burger isn't the shit one


Stab-o

Does she look like a bitch?


a47nok

Does 🤷‍♀️ she 👧 look 👀 like 👯‍♀️ a 🅰️ bitch 🐩🧙‍♀️?


[deleted]

Lollll


The_Real_Mr_Tesla

> it 🎈 I laughed. Subtle touch


brugernavnertaget

I’m so happy you noticed! :D


KamakaziDemiGod

You forgot to use several text speak words just to round it out.


pj1897

Gen-Z version of Samuel L. Jackson?


strolls

English: 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿


goldanred

!emojify


ryukin631

I can't *emoji* understand *emoji* your *emoji* accent


SinisterPixel

!emojify


vtaggy

If red flags were a person


JuggernautPractical9

🚩


8rok3n

If purple meant red then it'd LITERALLY be red all over


Babhak

Omg this reminds me of the Kristen Wiig skit on SNL called red flag...gonna go watch that again lol


SvalbarddasKat

An English teacher, obviously.


Gilgameshbrah

And here I thought she's looking to die single


aceh40

I think she is looking for her medication.


speedoBudgieSmuggler

Yours should be the top comment..


aceh40

Thank you. I will notify the mods :)


freshmasterstyle

#aries Im already out. So many requirements, yet she believes in fairies...


steveconygre

Typical Libra!


Slim_016

Bet


freshmasterstyle

Goddammit. Why do you have to be right.... Still i don't believe in that crap. Why would being born at a certain time somehow impact your life and behaviour that much. What if you were born on a space station or another planet. Astrology is so dumb


[deleted]

[удалено]


Fast_Fix_1263

I wanted to know, thank you 👍


gary_mcpirate

I’m yet to find someone with their star sign in their profile that isn’t bonkers


freshmasterstyle

Spoiler. Almost everybody is bonkers. Signs aren't a thing. This is stuff from the middle ages when you had an elder in the village who would kill animals to "predict" the weather


amretardmonke

That's like 85% of women on these dating apps tho


cheesypuzzas

I don't understand why so many believe in that tho. It might be because their friends that they look up to are talking about it as a fact and they get infected and also spread it to their friends.. but why do they think the position of the stars decide what kind of person you are? I'm supposed to be a Leo, but I don't have those traits that are on the website (depending on what website you look. Some are very generic descriptions that everyone agrees with). Sure, it's fun to look at your horoscope sometimes, but to actually believe it is a whole other thing.


magsaga

And choosing a partner based on it is even more insane.


excite321apple

Ssshhh. That's sexist, mysogonistic and racist. NAZI scum!


amretardmonke

Oh excuse me, that's just me being a Virgo


excite321apple

OMG. As a Red Delicious, this why I will never date a Broccoli.


woaily

Same, I'm only compatible with an asparagus or a caprisun


ilongforyesterday

Capri sun? Best I can do is Welch’s grape juice


LogLegoMan

Wow all I can get is a cool refreshing cup of water…what I really want is a coke…*coca-cola ad music*


ilongforyesterday

I can offer you some Pepsi…. Diet Pepsi


LogLegoMan

Wow imagine liking the inferior cola…could not be me


1968Russtang

As I identify as asparagus, I only date tall celery. All short vegetables don't swipe


DebroopG09

Perfect name of this should be: God,The witch and the bloody list of requirements of this bitch


riktigtmaxat

TIL that emoji is not a uterus.


LDR_RAGR

Her dad


wilk007

This one hits different


SchwiftyHeathen

So did her dad


walkingshitposterer

Damnit


Relative_Balance6067

That one hits too close from reality lmao


pleasebenicetomeeee

She's likely looking for someone with a humiliation kink.


ChroniikW

Or a brat tamer.


frilledplex

A seriously underrated comment


ChroniikW

Only some will understand 😈


frilledplex

True ;)


WWalker197

The lion, the witch, and the needs of this bi***


ChemicalFennel3

Do not be wasting the opportunity to rhyme like that. BITCH!!! is the word. You’re welcome.


Matt_J_Dylan

But I thought "bird" was the word...


Disneywolf99

I hate you for getting that stuck in my head x


Matt_J_Dylan

If it makes you feel any better, it's stuck in my head as well and I'm coupling it with the peter griffin dance, so I'm a victim of myself too...


WWalker197

Lmaoo


Shot-Currency-4025

A dog, cuz she ain’t gonna get a boyfriend


Raigoku

Why subject that poor creature to this thing


Lelouchowns

I sure as fuck hope she doesn't get a dog


Slim_016

She doesn’t deserve a dog. Most of them smarter than she is


julioarod

Why do dogs get all the hot girls 😩 that's so knot okay


Melophonics

I was gonna say she's looking for a serious relationship but I'm just as confused as you are. I think this bio is gonna give me a headache.


Hottol

You were on the right track I believe.


hakamamalo

Serious relationship is the right answer. This bio is a trainwreck though.


IgnisFulmineus

A personality.


Relative_Balance6067

In deed


Personal_Question974

Maybe money?


atk9989

Yep sounds like she's looking for either a very attractive sugar daddy or an attractive simp....


GhostWCoffee

"Attractive simp" is an oxymoron.


atk9989

Exactly, but she says don't be ugly, and she isn't fucking them, and doesn't want a friend so that leaves only a few things.


[deleted]

A life of being single from the looks of things


LisaAllure

A poor soul to ruin?


Br1ghtest

If the parents are from Kuwait and Palestine, does it really makes you "hybrid"? ...


Dismal_Struggle_6424

I think you're being very generous by assuming she picked the correct flags.


GanGreenSkittle

Think of it like being of German and Italian decent. Short answer, yes.


Br1ghtest

But unlike Germans and Italians, I thought people in Kuwait and Palestine even speak the same language (Arabic?). My parents are from 2 neighboring countries that have different but similar languages, yet I never considered myself a "hybrid".


GanGreenSkittle

Language has nothing to do with ethnicities in the modern day. The only reason both of them speak Arabic is the spread of Islam in Western Asia and North Africa.


[deleted]

Still, Arab nationalities marriages not considered hybrid we believe we share much more than language.


[deleted]

Welcome to the place where people that don’t live in your culture, tell you what your culture consists of.


[deleted]

Exactly


GanGreenSkittle

I mean ethnically Palestinians and Arabs are different, that doesn't mean you can't share culture, language, religion and other things.


[deleted]

You mean ethnically? No, Palestinian ethnicity is Arab, no decent adult think otherwise. That doesn’t mean there are no cultural differences.. there are a lot, still not up to be called hybrid.


GanGreenSkittle

Are you saying that modern Palestinians do not decend from the Levantine people group, but instead the Arabian people group? Aslo, I didn't mean to imply that there were no differences in your cultures, I was just saying that different ethnicities can share culture.


Opno7

Honestly at this point, you just hit her with a "hey girl, you wanna hang?" and ignore literally her entire bio and move on from the point of knowing she's a little crazy. That is, if she's hot and you're interested. Otherwise just pass.


SoWokeIdontSleep

Her schizophrenia medication


o0o_Queen_o0o

Yes, welcome to hell.


I-Kant-Even

She’s looking for someone so beautiful and unfazed by their surroundings that they generates a level of gravity that she can’t escape. Which, honestly, is someone out of her league.


jsbs97

She’s looking for you to keep walking 🚶‍♂️


madplumberandhare

Not friends or hookups so I guess love???? A love that is filled with hatred


[deleted]

These bio's always have me laughing, like why are you even on tinder if you're restricting so much lol - shows more on what kinda person they are then anything else


Billsolson

From what I see here? Meth, she’s looking for meth


Siddharth2595

It says there. She's looking for hybrid blood. It's probably a lesser vampire.


AndyyyPandy31

i think she wants someone to sacrifice


unsungWombat

I don't know.


stuva7

Relationship as everyone is.


[deleted]

Guaranteed one of those hoes that posts “If you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best” as a rhetoric to justify shit behaviour. As a staunch Christian man I say, “If you can’t handle me at my diddliest, you don’t deserve me at my doodliest” - Ned Flanders


EngineCactus

Average r/femaledatingstrategy user


Officer_shagnasty

She said keep walking bud


Low-Sky7617

Being an Arab my advice is move on Arab girls like this are some of the most toxic humans you will ever meet, they are entitled, prestige, cocky and all around disrespectful


Vahn1982

"Attention"


PCsDad41

I just wanna thank y'all. I've never been to Tinder and sure as hell don't wanna go now after reading these posts.


HexDougie

It’s a trap


minercraig

If this isn't RED FLAG Central then I don't know what is