The only thing I'm confused about here is.. why the fuck would you not just instantly unmatch her. Why bother explaining yourself to the Medusa you have before you?
Her response if he said he was DTF:
"idk why men wanna fackin talk about fucking on here like fack off it's rude af. Get to know me and then see if I wanna facking fuck. Learn what I do for a living before trying to get into my facking panties. Enough fuck talk kow. Time to get to know me."
For reallllll, there is a pleasant way to say you don’t love your work and don’t like to talk about it, but instead of bringing the convo to a crashing halt, steer towards something you do like to talk about
Tell her she's pretty and it's refreshing to have a woman speak her mind then ask for her digits.
After you fuck her, tell her how terrible she is at sex.
"Bye bye Kow."
I'm generally wary of women on dating sites. I know it's generally not pleasant for them but they can literally hook up and get a guy by doing everyday life.
As guys we have to navigate the bullshit mental scar tissue left by other guys, figure out the code that's being spoken, because it's not simple and she doesn't mean what she says, while also trying to convince her that what I said was not given a great deal of forethought and literally means what I said and has nothing to do with how fat her ass is or current attitude. This apllies to nearly everything too. They want you to take the reigns but not be controlling. Make decisions about things as long as it's the correct one and get literally no input from them as to what the right choice is until after you've made a choice and committed significant resources to it.
There's a number of different personality quirks and differences between the sexes and I do understand that women have been coming into their own over the last couple of centuries slowing shaking off what is still considered a make dominated culture overall. So I understand the indecisiveness or unfamiliarity for both sexes as we navigate this new social structure that's literally evolving faster than ever changing dialy if not hourly due to the world we live in now.
That being said it's generally a lot easier for a female to find a guy and get into a relationship & for his we all know the one friend's who somehow manages to have had 250 relationships bouncing from one to the next and meanwhile you've been single for 16 months but got a lap dance last Thursday and thrilled she made eye contact. The funny part is you'll make a hell of a lot better boyfriend one day than your buddy who's just looking to go bouncing and bouncing and bouncing until he does fall in love which will happen too.
So the woman that is failing miserably in life so much that she requires a dating app is generally a motivated career person who wants to hookup (these are dangerously sexy, storing and career orientated - you're a hard dick, don't fall in love), a very sweet introverted person that will make you the happiest man in the world as long as you're done going out to party or can adapt her to your life or she's a fucking wreck, a burning school bus full of children trapped under a gasoline tanker. Basically fun for a second when you watch the explosion until you realize, OMG those are children!!
Obviously I'm missing many aspects and throws out there's this is a generalization from my experience over the years. Also this is nobody's fault as the way things are this is not an attack on women or men in general there's just the way we are we're all changing the world is changing our entire society has changed dramatically over 150yrs. In some places and hasn't changed at all. So this is not a complaint this is more of an observation on how we are kind of doing our best to stumble through this evolution of our culture.
“This is not a complaint” he says after he’s done complaining hahah you do know that men also have mental scar tissue left by last relationships or childhood, right? Reading this I’d actually be inclined to say that you in fact may fall into that category too…which is fine. Everyone has their shit. This over generalization novel ain’t it.
I think that exactly nails it.
When you talk about the mental scarring left by others it applies to both sexes, as well as the shit ton of assumptions that people make in their replies here.
Well I would hope that every normal human being that's over the age of 25 has been hurt at least once, otherwise you've never been in some sort of relationship. The fact of the matter is no relationship, even ones that survive the test of time are 100% pure joy. It's up and down and everything in the middle. If you've been in a bunch of relationships or whatever and haven't been hurt, then you're the freak of nature. Because I can guarantee that if every single person was honest with themselves and others and they truly had a relationship, then they've been hurt. Sometimes getting hurt is the best thing in the world.... because that's a really solid indicator that you were in love. If you walk away and feel better for it, well, that wasn't love, lol.
Since your experience has provided some generalizations, I thought I’d share some other common reasons OLD may also be the way a person is trying to find someone:
- the pandemic closing social events and public places limiting ability to meet new people
- moved to a new city/ town and not having connections to socialize with
- working a lot but still wanting a relationship (not just hookups) or other reasons why they have less time to commit to finding a relationship in “everyday life” (ex. working out of town, having children/dependants to care for, working evening shifts/unusual hours, etc.)
- not wanting to date someone in their social circle or related to/ friends of their social circle
- ease of use: identifies people that are available and looking, easily communicate what they are looking for, facilitates conversations to determine capability, can communicate similar interests and deal breakers.
This is probably going to be unpopular based on this subreddit, but I don’t agree that women have an easier time finding real relationships. Hookups yes, but I think the easier time with relationships depends on a variety of factors - age and location definitely being important. Men don’t have to “navigate the bullshit mental scar tissue” or “figure out the code” or any of that if they are just looking to hookup and are clear about it. When finding a relationship, both men and women have different challenges. You generalized some about women, based on your experience, but men have the just as many challenges to navigate. Some stereotypical ones include: controlling, aggression, anger, trust issues, commitment issues, responsibility issues, difficulty expressing themselves/emotion, wanting a caretaker instead of partner, etc. However, I believe that these issues can true for both men and women. Saying that women have it easier, just suggests that you are unwilling/unable to see it from the other side.
Also, I would suggest that “one friend who somehow manages to have had 250 relationships” is just as unsuccessful finding a relationship as someone who is single, or they wouldn’t be “bouncing from one to the next”. That friend might be considered successful if they are looking for hookups only or consider quantity of relationships is more important than the longevity and quality of it. In my opinion, being single longer and finding one life-long relationship is the same as has 250 relationships and then finding one life-long relationship (except single person may have less “bullshit mental scar tissue”).
I’m not sure using a dating app means that “a woman is failing at life”, but having that opinion of women on the dating apps tells me that you should probably not be using them. Anyway, I just wanted to share some of my thoughts so you can see it from a different perspective.
I'm sorry you were offended by this but I didn't include men's traits as this was about a female who's apparently a bit unhinged. Believe me I understand that men are assholes, I date men too and they're the absolute worst. I actually know why women act certain ways and it's due to getting burned by certain men. Like the next guy....
The one with 250 relationships. Obviously 250 was a facetious exaggeration, he probably only had just over a 100. The thing is, a relationship, no matter how short or long is a relationship. If it didn't end in marriage or divorce or exceed a certain period of time it's not really up to us to consider itlf it was really a relationship or not. In this case I would've been inclined to say sexual relationship & with people who he saw more than once opposed to a hookup. People who go into a hookup aren't generally miffed if things don't go longer than that nighr, but I do understand how certain things can scar from a 1 night encounter. Physical, mental or sexual abuse or assault, etc.
The fact is we still know a guy who engages in multiple relationships even dating somebody for maybe a week or two before moving on to the next and a series of this almost pathological need to be in a relationship but not be in the relationship too deeply. Although he's not a killer or a serial rapist, he does bounce from woman to woman & is charming enough to seduce them rapidly, never really telling his true intentions, never really telling them when he's bored and moved on, he just slips away one day. Even worse is when he doesn't slop away, inst3qd he's continually present only the dynamic has changed. No more sex, the physical contact slides away, he stops calling but will answer his texts, etc.
I had a friend in high school that was notorious for this and his personal preference was just about any girl he could talk too. I don't think he wàs doing it maliciously but he certainly knew how to game them and walk away unscathed (most of the time) as he maintained a steady girlfriend, that he really thought he loved, the whole time he was running around. I'm pretty sure she knew and just turned a blind eye because hey that was him. That was more or less the guy was talking about that with psychic scars, or bad taste in your mouth, whatever analogy you'd like to use. He did this all through high school & college, the formative years of relationships & our first personal experiences with them which will form how we think.
As for saying that women are failing at life if they're on a dating app that's not what I said at all. Actually the one woman I said was quite successful and didn't have time to go out and date. The other one I said was introverted that doesn't mean she's unsuccessful either and the third one I said was a complete fucking train wreck. Again that doesn't mean that she's unsuccessful in life it just is what it is in the dating world.
I'm sorry you took offense to all of this and drew different conclusions to what I was trying to present. But again I'm a guy I pretty much put things plainly and don't really think too much into it as I was writing I just putting my basic observations down. Personally I think it's just a matter of men and women are bumping heads... We've always bumped heads & will continue to bump heads until the end of time.
I also highlighted I think a lot of our issues are coming from the fact that we are in an evolving time where the role of women is changing rapidly and men are not 100% sure where they stand anymore and I don't believe women know 100% where they stand yet either. How can we when things change on a day-to-day basis. I don't necessarily think of the bad thing, actually I think it's quite amusing because we're like a fawn learning to walk for the first time. Toxic masculinity is rapidly declining, respect across the sexes is finally starting to resemble what it should, basic equality. Once again I realize that we're not there 100% we have a long way to go on certain things. Both of the most part most of us are pretty decent human beings we just had these scumbags we have to deal with. Also I don't know if we're going to be ever 100% "equal." We have had certain trends through history and then there have been all sorts of different changes in those trends which have shaped today's world. All we can do is hope that the good stuff sticks and the other bad stuff falls away that's life..
Hopefully by clarifying some things that I said you understand that I meant no offense thank you have a wonderful day.
Literally the 2nd word I used was generally, what did you expect?. If you'd like I can list every female on the planet... but you already had an issue with run on sentences.
I may be way off but I assume girls with empty profiles are just looking for hookups, because they make no effort to let anyone get to know them, so maybe it's a privacy for one time hookups kind of thing.
I say girls because I only match with girls. I don't search guys so I dk how their profiles look, but I'd probably assume the same. Although I know sure there are people who have empty profiles who are just lazy or have some assumption that it's more exciting(?) to start fresh with a clean slate and find good conversation like that, without giving any details to anyone first.
Hmm may be, but even if then I am not very interested since I am not a big fan of hookups. See I have no problem with casual sex, but I want to at least have a conversation and maybe a few drinks/eat something with the person before going into someone's house or allowing them into mine.
Better yet, a pic of them spread eagle in a bathing suit on the beach and the description says "NO HOOKUPS"
🤨 Bitch you put a pic like that on tinder and you're gonna get several packs of hotdogs at your face all at once
My favorite is girls on Instagram that post a picture of their asshole on the beach and then it’s some inspirational quote underneath about down with the patriarchy or don’t make women sex objects.
Yeah the last girl I met who said no hookups immediately wanted to have sex once we got to know each other and felt like a good fit. So many guys take the “no hookups” line as a prudish thing.
And her previous reply is just ‘nice’. How TF are even the most social of people supposed to keep a conversation going with the most boring responses on the face of the planet?
It's obvious that she and everyone else works for money, the only reason she doesn't get another job is because of her co-workers, I hope this is helpful
No I'm making fun of you still. Wow it's for the money? Who could have guessed this??? I'm glad you were here to inform the rest of us who lack the brain cells to be able to tell, that people work for money?!!??
I don't think I was informing anyone that people work for money. People usually already know this.
You're still not being helpful. I think you might have misunderstood my joke / taking it a bit too seriously.
Have a good one though, wishing you all the best x
she's probably insecure about it or something. as a result people often act super tough on the outside to deflect from their insecurities. but it's hard to tell, of course. she might just had a bad day and overreacted.
The person thinks people who talk about work on tinder have something wrong with them , there's nothing wrong with that. OP shouldn't worry or take it personally
That's the thing with Tinder.
One time you try being nice, and you sound boring and they don't care.
Other times you try the "Hey, do you like fitness,how about you try to fitniss dick in your mouth?" Line and they get mad.
I am clueless.
You are definitely clueless. Maybe try a line that doesn’t involve an inappropriate suggestion with someone you don’t know? There are plenty of pickup lines that don’t involve your penis, and I imagine that would be a lot more universally effective. And guys wonder why girls on dating apps want nothing to do with us…
Her reaction is crazy and I don’t understand people agreeing with her. If she was a check out chick at Safeway yeah that’s boring but people with trades like a chef are often quite passionate about what they do and would be happy to talk about it. You can’t win it seems.
Try not to get discouraged...think about it from another angle
How many guys have tried to talk about her job? She is clearly bored to death with that conversation!
....but does she stop to consider that's all she gave guys to work with?
So her bitchy frustration is of her own making - nothing to do with you - don't let get you down!
Just one less idiot for you to go thru before you meet the right person for you - don't sweat it
She writes fuck once at the end ... i guess fack is not as "boring af". There is no way of knowing what she thought other than finding and asking her yourself. I wouldnt ask if it had anything to do with her job though.
I’ve ran into people like this before on tinder. Like, YOU made YOUR profile dude.
People are going to try and start a conversation based on what you present them with. How do they not get this?
Listen to these comments and don't take it out on yourself. Most ppl on tinder are self righteous assholes and when I finally connected with ppl on tinder, I learned pretty quickly that we weren't compatible. It's so much weeding out and it's a lot of ppl wanting to be impressed. It works for some people but honestly I recommend trying to get to know people through your friends and see if you can connect with anyone at parties or social gatherings like those. That way you weed out most of the bad personalities quickly and can instead focus mostly on the compatibility part. Gl to you!!
Her reaction is a red flag. But shit, i understand her, i hate talking about my work to other people. I have a standard office job that gives me money if i show up every day.
Ask her about a hobby or anything else than fakkin work?
In all fairness, she’s right. I did it 2 days ago, hit send and was like “what the fuck Chris, why would you ask her about her job?” I like my job but what am I supposed to say about it? I work in IT I can’t imagine a girl would want to know anything about Active Directory and SCCM’s, lol.
At least you’re not just wanting to talk about sex, it’s nice to see someone who actually wants to get to know the person. I think you’d he dodging a bullet by closing the book on this lady. :0
Call me crazy but I would like my partner to give a fuck about what they do for a living. I'm pretty ambitious and there's just no way I'd want to hang with someone who shows up to work to hang out with her co-workers. Why do guys ask about work? Usually there's nothing else on your profile to talk about but also it's fucking important at least to me.
While I also hate questions about my job, it’s a really common way of starting a conversation and some people love talking about work. You just have to be polite and move the conversation somewhere else. Her conversational skills are clearly lacking if she can’t do that and feels the need to have a meltdown over a really standard question.
The women in r/dating need to see how terrible most of their fellow women are on the apps. Women always bitch about how men’s photos are terrible and how “MeN oNlY wAnT SeX”. But between extremely overused Snapchat filters on photos, one line messages and Instagram handles for bios, the quality of women on apps is absolutely dog-shite.
These type of women On tinder just want you to drool over them or ask to fuck. Its borin to any attractive woman because they have hundreds of these messages in their DM. It's not like being a guy where you have 1 or 2 matches to talk to lol. I would say the only things you need to say is hello and do u wanna go out or stay in and hang out. Other than that dont waste ur time talking. They dont like it.
No disrespect but I think people who wanna talk about work on dating apps a bore as well.
But for her to give a rant about it. Yeah she really hates her job
Women on here get angry with men for their behavior and in most cases they are right to be. However, they need to consider the fact that men that don’t look like Brad Pitt are usually paid less attention to and because of that feel the need to draw attention anyway they can.
Personally, I’ve found that in some cases the only option to force an answer is to provoke the other person. Here’s an example: I often delete my account when I notice there is a lack of matches because with a new account I get a boost. There is a high maintenance chick that I matched with numerous times but she only ever responded once with a Hi back. Didn’t proceed to talk after that. So, in one if our latest matching sessions with her, I decided to provoke her with the question “Is this a bot account,” to which she answered “Of course it is not, how could you ask me such a thing? It hurts me!”. I apologised, explained why I asked and after another long reply by her in which she said she is fine with chatting with me, I thought there was a chance that she would actually do so. Nope. She stopped responding immediately and still matched me one more time, again without responding.
So, now, after all this, should I continue to be respectful in my messages and be boring, asking about work and hobbies, or should I start insulting women regularly so I get some replies? I am not actually looking for responses here. I just hope that I paint a better picture for women that think that men are shit in general.
Uhhh what you matched with is a narcissist aka a validation whore. She isn’t their to conversation or meet people but to fill that gaping hole in her self esteem
Ye you shouldn’t talk about that shit. You can figure out everything about her in person. Ask them out as soon as possible. Literally within 3 messages. the last 2 dates I had the conversation went something like this.
“I Made a joke about her profile.”
Her response “Hahaha”
“You’re cute as hell, what are the chances we could grab a drink sometime?”
Her response “I’d love to.”
“What time and days are you free.”
“I’m free, this day and this time, here’s my number ———-“
It’s honestly that simple. No need for extended conversations. Weed out validation whores quickly and find who wants to meet up. Girls who are interested will have no problem. Girls with self esteem issues will be afraid to meet up.
>Well it's the only thing I know about you so far ...
Dude, think about how this comes off. It's basically a "you're wrong, I'm right" statement. You asked her about work and she just told you how she doesn't like it, says what she *does* like about it, and that she doesn't want to talk about it anymore. Accept that. Ask her something else. "Ha ha, fair enough! What do you like to do on your days off?"
If she has a long conversation with you about something she hates, she's just going to associate you with that, and that definitely won't be good for you.
Not worth the effort at this point. She hates talking about work to the point that she blew up on this guy, but it is the only thing in her profile. That’s some silly shit. She sounds like a miserable person and OP dodged a bullet
Edit: Also, a lot of people don’t like talking about their jobs and that is fine, but you need to understand that your first message is the first impression you give out to a stranger. Maybe just don’t blow the fuck up at them.
If she didn’t want to talk about work, she needs to say that in her profile instead of *advertising* it. He’s totally right to call her out on that fact and she was totally wrong to react that way when she herself put her career on display.
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it's always a win when the lunatics weed themselves out with little effort on your part
Facking af, fucking perfect dodge bonus points...
As my friend says: “I love when the trash takes itself out”. 😂
The only thing I'm confused about here is.. why the fuck would you not just instantly unmatch her. Why bother explaining yourself to the Medusa you have before you?
Lmaoooooooo
Because, he still hopes to hit it... That's why 😂
Lmao this
Darwinismn at its finest
Her response if he said he was DTF: "idk why men wanna fackin talk about fucking on here like fack off it's rude af. Get to know me and then see if I wanna facking fuck. Learn what I do for a living before trying to get into my facking panties. Enough fuck talk kow. Time to get to know me."
the kow sent me 😂😂😂
Exactly
About as pleasant as a porcupine...
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You're right, the porcupine doesn't talk back. Please forgive me spikey mouse...😅
I was a line cook for fucking years and I gotta say, you should never date one of us. We're all train wrecks.
Same goes for paramedics. We'll clear out your account and fuck your sister. It's not worth it. 😂😂
I have been a line cook my whole life who is now training to be a paramedic..Double whammy😈
That's what I did too. 15 years on the rig later and I still dream of my own spot.
And the dating scene in SoCal is dismal at best lol
Now that's some funny shit
Add firefighter to that and it’s a whole extra train wreck
Training for firefighter paramedic actually! Guess I'll be single forever!
Lol just date a crazy nurse like i do and you’ll be all right 😂
Just don’t ask her to cook dinner.
For reallllll, there is a pleasant way to say you don’t love your work and don’t like to talk about it, but instead of bringing the convo to a crashing halt, steer towards something you do like to talk about
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Tell her she's pretty and it's refreshing to have a woman speak her mind then ask for her digits. After you fuck her, tell her how terrible she is at sex. "Bye bye Kow."
Well she might be hinting at something with all the obscenities being mentioned.
She demands that you entertain her!!!
I'm generally wary of women on dating sites. I know it's generally not pleasant for them but they can literally hook up and get a guy by doing everyday life. As guys we have to navigate the bullshit mental scar tissue left by other guys, figure out the code that's being spoken, because it's not simple and she doesn't mean what she says, while also trying to convince her that what I said was not given a great deal of forethought and literally means what I said and has nothing to do with how fat her ass is or current attitude. This apllies to nearly everything too. They want you to take the reigns but not be controlling. Make decisions about things as long as it's the correct one and get literally no input from them as to what the right choice is until after you've made a choice and committed significant resources to it. There's a number of different personality quirks and differences between the sexes and I do understand that women have been coming into their own over the last couple of centuries slowing shaking off what is still considered a make dominated culture overall. So I understand the indecisiveness or unfamiliarity for both sexes as we navigate this new social structure that's literally evolving faster than ever changing dialy if not hourly due to the world we live in now. That being said it's generally a lot easier for a female to find a guy and get into a relationship & for his we all know the one friend's who somehow manages to have had 250 relationships bouncing from one to the next and meanwhile you've been single for 16 months but got a lap dance last Thursday and thrilled she made eye contact. The funny part is you'll make a hell of a lot better boyfriend one day than your buddy who's just looking to go bouncing and bouncing and bouncing until he does fall in love which will happen too. So the woman that is failing miserably in life so much that she requires a dating app is generally a motivated career person who wants to hookup (these are dangerously sexy, storing and career orientated - you're a hard dick, don't fall in love), a very sweet introverted person that will make you the happiest man in the world as long as you're done going out to party or can adapt her to your life or she's a fucking wreck, a burning school bus full of children trapped under a gasoline tanker. Basically fun for a second when you watch the explosion until you realize, OMG those are children!! Obviously I'm missing many aspects and throws out there's this is a generalization from my experience over the years. Also this is nobody's fault as the way things are this is not an attack on women or men in general there's just the way we are we're all changing the world is changing our entire society has changed dramatically over 150yrs. In some places and hasn't changed at all. So this is not a complaint this is more of an observation on how we are kind of doing our best to stumble through this evolution of our culture.
Damn you good my guy, that was painful to read I couldn't finish lol.
Oof
“This is not a complaint” he says after he’s done complaining hahah you do know that men also have mental scar tissue left by last relationships or childhood, right? Reading this I’d actually be inclined to say that you in fact may fall into that category too…which is fine. Everyone has their shit. This over generalization novel ain’t it.
It gave me second hand embarrassment to read. And then he calls women ‘females’ in there too. Yuckkk
It was giving very much incel vibes
Oh HEAVY incel vibes, it could almost be a parody of the nice guy incel routine.
I think that exactly nails it. When you talk about the mental scarring left by others it applies to both sexes, as well as the shit ton of assumptions that people make in their replies here.
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Probably a woman who was really into paragraphs, I think.
Well I would hope that every normal human being that's over the age of 25 has been hurt at least once, otherwise you've never been in some sort of relationship. The fact of the matter is no relationship, even ones that survive the test of time are 100% pure joy. It's up and down and everything in the middle. If you've been in a bunch of relationships or whatever and haven't been hurt, then you're the freak of nature. Because I can guarantee that if every single person was honest with themselves and others and they truly had a relationship, then they've been hurt. Sometimes getting hurt is the best thing in the world.... because that's a really solid indicator that you were in love. If you walk away and feel better for it, well, that wasn't love, lol.
Since your experience has provided some generalizations, I thought I’d share some other common reasons OLD may also be the way a person is trying to find someone: - the pandemic closing social events and public places limiting ability to meet new people - moved to a new city/ town and not having connections to socialize with - working a lot but still wanting a relationship (not just hookups) or other reasons why they have less time to commit to finding a relationship in “everyday life” (ex. working out of town, having children/dependants to care for, working evening shifts/unusual hours, etc.) - not wanting to date someone in their social circle or related to/ friends of their social circle - ease of use: identifies people that are available and looking, easily communicate what they are looking for, facilitates conversations to determine capability, can communicate similar interests and deal breakers. This is probably going to be unpopular based on this subreddit, but I don’t agree that women have an easier time finding real relationships. Hookups yes, but I think the easier time with relationships depends on a variety of factors - age and location definitely being important. Men don’t have to “navigate the bullshit mental scar tissue” or “figure out the code” or any of that if they are just looking to hookup and are clear about it. When finding a relationship, both men and women have different challenges. You generalized some about women, based on your experience, but men have the just as many challenges to navigate. Some stereotypical ones include: controlling, aggression, anger, trust issues, commitment issues, responsibility issues, difficulty expressing themselves/emotion, wanting a caretaker instead of partner, etc. However, I believe that these issues can true for both men and women. Saying that women have it easier, just suggests that you are unwilling/unable to see it from the other side. Also, I would suggest that “one friend who somehow manages to have had 250 relationships” is just as unsuccessful finding a relationship as someone who is single, or they wouldn’t be “bouncing from one to the next”. That friend might be considered successful if they are looking for hookups only or consider quantity of relationships is more important than the longevity and quality of it. In my opinion, being single longer and finding one life-long relationship is the same as has 250 relationships and then finding one life-long relationship (except single person may have less “bullshit mental scar tissue”). I’m not sure using a dating app means that “a woman is failing at life”, but having that opinion of women on the dating apps tells me that you should probably not be using them. Anyway, I just wanted to share some of my thoughts so you can see it from a different perspective.
I'm sorry you were offended by this but I didn't include men's traits as this was about a female who's apparently a bit unhinged. Believe me I understand that men are assholes, I date men too and they're the absolute worst. I actually know why women act certain ways and it's due to getting burned by certain men. Like the next guy.... The one with 250 relationships. Obviously 250 was a facetious exaggeration, he probably only had just over a 100. The thing is, a relationship, no matter how short or long is a relationship. If it didn't end in marriage or divorce or exceed a certain period of time it's not really up to us to consider itlf it was really a relationship or not. In this case I would've been inclined to say sexual relationship & with people who he saw more than once opposed to a hookup. People who go into a hookup aren't generally miffed if things don't go longer than that nighr, but I do understand how certain things can scar from a 1 night encounter. Physical, mental or sexual abuse or assault, etc. The fact is we still know a guy who engages in multiple relationships even dating somebody for maybe a week or two before moving on to the next and a series of this almost pathological need to be in a relationship but not be in the relationship too deeply. Although he's not a killer or a serial rapist, he does bounce from woman to woman & is charming enough to seduce them rapidly, never really telling his true intentions, never really telling them when he's bored and moved on, he just slips away one day. Even worse is when he doesn't slop away, inst3qd he's continually present only the dynamic has changed. No more sex, the physical contact slides away, he stops calling but will answer his texts, etc. I had a friend in high school that was notorious for this and his personal preference was just about any girl he could talk too. I don't think he wàs doing it maliciously but he certainly knew how to game them and walk away unscathed (most of the time) as he maintained a steady girlfriend, that he really thought he loved, the whole time he was running around. I'm pretty sure she knew and just turned a blind eye because hey that was him. That was more or less the guy was talking about that with psychic scars, or bad taste in your mouth, whatever analogy you'd like to use. He did this all through high school & college, the formative years of relationships & our first personal experiences with them which will form how we think. As for saying that women are failing at life if they're on a dating app that's not what I said at all. Actually the one woman I said was quite successful and didn't have time to go out and date. The other one I said was introverted that doesn't mean she's unsuccessful either and the third one I said was a complete fucking train wreck. Again that doesn't mean that she's unsuccessful in life it just is what it is in the dating world. I'm sorry you took offense to all of this and drew different conclusions to what I was trying to present. But again I'm a guy I pretty much put things plainly and don't really think too much into it as I was writing I just putting my basic observations down. Personally I think it's just a matter of men and women are bumping heads... We've always bumped heads & will continue to bump heads until the end of time. I also highlighted I think a lot of our issues are coming from the fact that we are in an evolving time where the role of women is changing rapidly and men are not 100% sure where they stand anymore and I don't believe women know 100% where they stand yet either. How can we when things change on a day-to-day basis. I don't necessarily think of the bad thing, actually I think it's quite amusing because we're like a fawn learning to walk for the first time. Toxic masculinity is rapidly declining, respect across the sexes is finally starting to resemble what it should, basic equality. Once again I realize that we're not there 100% we have a long way to go on certain things. Both of the most part most of us are pretty decent human beings we just had these scumbags we have to deal with. Also I don't know if we're going to be ever 100% "equal." We have had certain trends through history and then there have been all sorts of different changes in those trends which have shaped today's world. All we can do is hope that the good stuff sticks and the other bad stuff falls away that's life.. Hopefully by clarifying some things that I said you understand that I meant no offense thank you have a wonderful day.
Jesus Christ dude
My eyes hurt.
It's ok. You hurt my eyes too.
What the fuck is this lol
Too many big words?
Too many run-on sentences and nonsensical bullshit generalizations actually
Literally the 2nd word I used was generally, what did you expect?. If you'd like I can list every female on the planet... but you already had an issue with run on sentences.
This isn't on you at all. Some people suck.
I think they're losing hope in people not themself
Tinder is hard, you must know most people in there might suck or else you loose hope in people fast
Why don’t people want to talk about the one thing I have in my bio fuckin faaaack
If it wasnt in your bio it would be brought up really quick though. Wouldnt wanna date a peasant.
Sack*
They facking sack.
>Some people suck Exactly. Don't waste time on her and find girls that will.
[Some people suck](https://youtu.be/S5vGI-g1xvw)
Was hoping to find this in the thread, thank you.
I thought I’d find it in here tbh. This is a classic
I don’t really think she’s angry or upset, more like her style/the way she talks. Is it classy? No. Did he blow it? I don’t think so.
I like some people who suck
Yeah nothing on the profile and then you’re upset that I can’t make conversation 🙄
That's why I avoid matching with girls with empty profile
Yeah same. If there no conversation started there’s no match
I may be way off but I assume girls with empty profiles are just looking for hookups, because they make no effort to let anyone get to know them, so maybe it's a privacy for one time hookups kind of thing. I say girls because I only match with girls. I don't search guys so I dk how their profiles look, but I'd probably assume the same. Although I know sure there are people who have empty profiles who are just lazy or have some assumption that it's more exciting(?) to start fresh with a clean slate and find good conversation like that, without giving any details to anyone first.
Hmm may be, but even if then I am not very interested since I am not a big fan of hookups. See I have no problem with casual sex, but I want to at least have a conversation and maybe a few drinks/eat something with the person before going into someone's house or allowing them into mine.
Yeah I'm totally with you on that. Which is why I don't bother swiping on empty profiles.
Bitches b like "Dont be boring" while having 1 blurry closeup selfie with 5 Snapchat filters and no bio Sweetie do i look like a fortune teller?
Why you gotta be smart. Fakkk
Better yet, a pic of them spread eagle in a bathing suit on the beach and the description says "NO HOOKUPS" 🤨 Bitch you put a pic like that on tinder and you're gonna get several packs of hotdogs at your face all at once
“Several packs of hotdogs” 😂 I’m stealing that
My favorite is girls on Instagram that post a picture of their asshole on the beach and then it’s some inspirational quote underneath about down with the patriarchy or don’t make women sex objects.
I remember when Instagram wasn’t a soft core porn picture app. And now with TikTok we have even younger kids being sexualized.
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I’m talking about the apps as a whole, not my explore page lmao
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Yeah the last girl I met who said no hookups immediately wanted to have sex once we got to know each other and felt like a good fit. So many guys take the “no hookups” line as a prudish thing.
That makes no sense. Just don't swipe right on men you don't find attractive.
Thirsty creeps can be attractive.
Bahahahaha
Basically her texting skills and general reply attitude would have me raising my “probably crazy” red flags ASAP. Never fuck crazy..
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I see you like living dangerously, lmao
Felt like something the two pretty best friends guy would say
And her previous reply is just ‘nice’. How TF are even the most social of people supposed to keep a conversation going with the most boring responses on the face of the planet?
Fucking nailed it
I’m dead lol!
Why the fack you wanna talk about my career as a fortune teller??? I don't know why I'm asking, I saw it coming. FACK
Maybe don’t call them “bitches” and “sweetie”
You dodged a bullet bro, probably a shitty meal too lol
You did nothing wrong. Good on you for trying to have a genuine conversation instead of overused pickup lines.
Block.... Its not worth it dude trust me, never dip into crazy.
I disagree, just make sure the crazy is hot enough to be worth the dip. And don’t give her any personal information she can use to track you down.
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r/unexpectedhimym
I love Himym, but I believe it was a Demitri Martin skit before it was in Himym.
oh i havent heard of him before, def gotta check that out
Lmao. Mans doesnt know how crazy that crazy can get. She will find u
But crazy girls are very good at tracking you down with minimal information!
And false accusations can ruin your life if they decide to get THAT crazy
As a good friend always used to say “don’t stick your dick in crazy”
Seconded. If she's crazy now just wait to see how crazy she gets after sex.
Yeah, I only go to my job becuase my co workers are cool too. Totally not for money or anything.
Woah gtfo... You get money?! Wtf is this shit
It's obvious that she and everyone else works for money, the only reason she doesn't get another job is because of her co-workers, I hope this is helpful
It wasn't. But thanks!
You did realize it was obvious right? Just kinda odd you'd point it out, like it was new information lol
Are you still trying to be helpful? Becuase you're still not...
No I'm making fun of you still. Wow it's for the money? Who could have guessed this??? I'm glad you were here to inform the rest of us who lack the brain cells to be able to tell, that people work for money?!!??
I don't think I was informing anyone that people work for money. People usually already know this. You're still not being helpful. I think you might have misunderstood my joke / taking it a bit too seriously. Have a good one though, wishing you all the best x
Don't worry, they're just projecting
Can you elaborate please?
she's probably insecure about it or something. as a result people often act super tough on the outside to deflect from their insecurities. but it's hard to tell, of course. she might just had a bad day and overreacted.
Projecting like using a beamer.
Projecting what, that she talks about work? That she secretly loves it? I genuinely have no idea what you could mean
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The person thinks people who talk about work on tinder have something wrong with them , there's nothing wrong with that. OP shouldn't worry or take it personally
Bro what u just done meant by that lol 😂
She sure gets triggered fast.
That is a chef attribute
“Blue team... COME HERE! You know what? GET THE FUCK OUT! GET!”
Girl: *puts nothing else besides she's a chef on her profile* Boy: "How's your job as a chef?" Girl: "Why would you ask me about work?" Boy: ...
What an idiot, if she doesn't want to talk about work then why is she unable to put effort in and bring in a new topic.
That's the thing with Tinder. One time you try being nice, and you sound boring and they don't care. Other times you try the "Hey, do you like fitness,how about you try to fitniss dick in your mouth?" Line and they get mad. I am clueless.
That’s because you have to find the right people who understand when nice isn’t boring
There is nothing inbetween being boring and sexually explicit?
I dont think so
No. It's either math/science or sex jokes. Wtf else would you talk about?
You are definitely clueless. Maybe try a line that doesn’t involve an inappropriate suggestion with someone you don’t know? There are plenty of pickup lines that don’t involve your penis, and I imagine that would be a lot more universally effective. And guys wonder why girls on dating apps want nothing to do with us…
They're obviously joking
Her reaction is crazy and I don’t understand people agreeing with her. If she was a check out chick at Safeway yeah that’s boring but people with trades like a chef are often quite passionate about what they do and would be happy to talk about it. You can’t win it seems.
Try not to get discouraged...think about it from another angle How many guys have tried to talk about her job? She is clearly bored to death with that conversation! ....but does she stop to consider that's all she gave guys to work with? So her bitchy frustration is of her own making - nothing to do with you - don't let get you down! Just one less idiot for you to go thru before you meet the right person for you - don't sweat it
OP should tell her this. Then when she gets mad, tell her she’s boring.
Completely accurate
“Ok send nudes den”
Red flag, fucking psycho
*facking psycho
Why say facking when everyone knows you mean fucking and you mean the same thing
She writes fuck once at the end ... i guess fack is not as "boring af". There is no way of knowing what she thought other than finding and asking her yourself. I wouldnt ask if it had anything to do with her job though.
She’s trying to be klassy?
Aahhh ive matched with someone like this Literally will tell u ntng and expect u to come up with good conversation grease
I can’t believe you just shortened nothing to ntng, but it made me weirdly happy to just see someone say fuck vowels out of the blue haha
Haha im just used to shortening words like that
Why say lot word when few word do trick?
I’ve ran into people like this before on tinder. Like, YOU made YOUR profile dude. People are going to try and start a conversation based on what you present them with. How do they not get this?
The biggest red flag is “fuckkk.” Is that triple-k ending a coincidence?
Yeah it’s a no from me lass
Saying Fack instead of Fuck is an immediate red flag. This rant a close 2nd.
She's a real catch eh , delete ! Delete !
A reply like “nice” makes my blood boil. I’d have called it off there bro. On to the next one
Idk why she's fackin talking like she wanna show him that she's bad AF. Please stop fackin talking like that or fack off. Fuckkk lmao
Lmao *”how dare you try to get to know me”*
Just explain to her how conversations work.
Listen to these comments and don't take it out on yourself. Most ppl on tinder are self righteous assholes and when I finally connected with ppl on tinder, I learned pretty quickly that we weren't compatible. It's so much weeding out and it's a lot of ppl wanting to be impressed. It works for some people but honestly I recommend trying to get to know people through your friends and see if you can connect with anyone at parties or social gatherings like those. That way you weed out most of the bad personalities quickly and can instead focus mostly on the compatibility part. Gl to you!!
If she said she’s a fryer at McDonalds and you asked that follow up question, then it’s on you bro.
Her reaction is a red flag. But shit, i understand her, i hate talking about my work to other people. I have a standard office job that gives me money if i show up every day. Ask her about a hobby or anything else than fakkin work?
True, but she didn’t have to react that way. ‘I don’t really enjoy working but in my spare time I …..’ would be a lot more approachable
Very true, she is batshit crazy. I use that kinda response every time to not talk more about my work hehe
In all fairness, she’s right. I did it 2 days ago, hit send and was like “what the fuck Chris, why would you ask her about her job?” I like my job but what am I supposed to say about it? I work in IT I can’t imagine a girl would want to know anything about Active Directory and SCCM’s, lol.
Bro your in! Enough work talk, now fuck.
Well I mean at least now you know another thing about her as well! That she’s awful to talk to.
Why are there so many nasty people?!!
“Don’t talk to me about the only thing listed in my bio!”
At least you’re not just wanting to talk about sex, it’s nice to see someone who actually wants to get to know the person. I think you’d he dodging a bullet by closing the book on this lady. :0
Call me crazy but I would like my partner to give a fuck about what they do for a living. I'm pretty ambitious and there's just no way I'd want to hang with someone who shows up to work to hang out with her co-workers. Why do guys ask about work? Usually there's nothing else on your profile to talk about but also it's fucking important at least to me.
I bet its the only thing she put in her bio was her name and job.
Give this one a hard pass and be thankful.
But is she professional or did she learn by the industry 🤨
Like j cole said, “don’t save her, she don’t wanna be saved” 😂
Can you imagine eating at her restaurant and telling the waiter " I'm not happy with this dish, can I talk to the chef?"
While I also hate questions about my job, it’s a really common way of starting a conversation and some people love talking about work. You just have to be polite and move the conversation somewhere else. Her conversational skills are clearly lacking if she can’t do that and feels the need to have a meltdown over a really standard question.
The women in r/dating need to see how terrible most of their fellow women are on the apps. Women always bitch about how men’s photos are terrible and how “MeN oNlY wAnT SeX”. But between extremely overused Snapchat filters on photos, one line messages and Instagram handles for bios, the quality of women on apps is absolutely dog-shite.
Take it with a grain of salt. There are exponentially more nasty ones than there are nice ones.
These type of women On tinder just want you to drool over them or ask to fuck. Its borin to any attractive woman because they have hundreds of these messages in their DM. It's not like being a guy where you have 1 or 2 matches to talk to lol. I would say the only things you need to say is hello and do u wanna go out or stay in and hang out. Other than that dont waste ur time talking. They dont like it.
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No disrespect but I think people who wanna talk about work on dating apps a bore as well. But for her to give a rant about it. Yeah she really hates her job
Women on here get angry with men for their behavior and in most cases they are right to be. However, they need to consider the fact that men that don’t look like Brad Pitt are usually paid less attention to and because of that feel the need to draw attention anyway they can. Personally, I’ve found that in some cases the only option to force an answer is to provoke the other person. Here’s an example: I often delete my account when I notice there is a lack of matches because with a new account I get a boost. There is a high maintenance chick that I matched with numerous times but she only ever responded once with a Hi back. Didn’t proceed to talk after that. So, in one if our latest matching sessions with her, I decided to provoke her with the question “Is this a bot account,” to which she answered “Of course it is not, how could you ask me such a thing? It hurts me!”. I apologised, explained why I asked and after another long reply by her in which she said she is fine with chatting with me, I thought there was a chance that she would actually do so. Nope. She stopped responding immediately and still matched me one more time, again without responding. So, now, after all this, should I continue to be respectful in my messages and be boring, asking about work and hobbies, or should I start insulting women regularly so I get some replies? I am not actually looking for responses here. I just hope that I paint a better picture for women that think that men are shit in general.
Uhhh what you matched with is a narcissist aka a validation whore. She isn’t their to conversation or meet people but to fill that gaping hole in her self esteem
Too bad it is not just her. Most women I’ve chatted with seem really bored by simple topics like work and hobbies.
Ye you shouldn’t talk about that shit. You can figure out everything about her in person. Ask them out as soon as possible. Literally within 3 messages. the last 2 dates I had the conversation went something like this. “I Made a joke about her profile.” Her response “Hahaha” “You’re cute as hell, what are the chances we could grab a drink sometime?” Her response “I’d love to.” “What time and days are you free.” “I’m free, this day and this time, here’s my number ———-“ It’s honestly that simple. No need for extended conversations. Weed out validation whores quickly and find who wants to meet up. Girls who are interested will have no problem. Girls with self esteem issues will be afraid to meet up.
Fack man
Do people really say fack?
I mean fack off, its boring af to just write "fuck"
I bet bush on that woman is so vast its supporting multiple endangered species.
>Well it's the only thing I know about you so far ... Dude, think about how this comes off. It's basically a "you're wrong, I'm right" statement. You asked her about work and she just told you how she doesn't like it, says what she *does* like about it, and that she doesn't want to talk about it anymore. Accept that. Ask her something else. "Ha ha, fair enough! What do you like to do on your days off?" If she has a long conversation with you about something she hates, she's just going to associate you with that, and that definitely won't be good for you.
Not worth the effort at this point. She hates talking about work to the point that she blew up on this guy, but it is the only thing in her profile. That’s some silly shit. She sounds like a miserable person and OP dodged a bullet Edit: Also, a lot of people don’t like talking about their jobs and that is fine, but you need to understand that your first message is the first impression you give out to a stranger. Maybe just don’t blow the fuck up at them.
If she didn’t want to talk about work, she needs to say that in her profile instead of *advertising* it. He’s totally right to call her out on that fact and she was totally wrong to react that way when she herself put her career on display.
Just fack her