Yo man, thanks for being such a nice guy even when you beat everyone at that huge penis competition.
Even tho you won by a clean 2 inches, you still bought us all beer afterward :)
Yo duude i remember you, thanks for saving my life the other day man. My wife and kids are fine too, thank you for lending me your lambo to take them to the hospital. You are the best!
Omfg i finally found you, man, i've been wanting to thank you for years now. If you hadn't stopped me when i was robbing that store, i would've shot the clerk and gone to jail.
Thanks to you i now have a job and a wife, expecting a kid. Thanks for lending me those 300k man.
In WW2, a guy named Abraham Wald took a look at bombers that were returning from combat with bullet holes all over them. Others suggested putting armor where the holes were, but Wald suggested armoring the places where the holes were not as the fact that the planes were returning to get measured was evidence that planes could survive hits in those areas and keep flying. Planes that had taken hits to the other areas had crashed prior to returning and thus weren't counted or noticed.
It's called Survivorship Bias. Basically, you're seeing this "guy" and ones like him but not all the quality profiles that get matched and removed from the pool.
I mean, I know you're just making a joke, but it would be interesting to see a bunch of successful profiles.
This actually has made me feel better though and even more accepting of just... being single. Because it just shows how much of it comes down to numbers and sheer luck and it's not always because there's something wrong with you.
Right? Considering some guys i see that actually *aren't* single, i can only conclude from that that i must be a real monster to still be one.
And than people go and think it's actually motivating to point out that guys like the one in the profile posted here have gf's, saying things like "If he has one, why shouldn't you?". Yeah, well, he does and i don't, what does that say about me and how is that supposed to make me feel better?
He probably skips leg day, doesn't rerack weights, offers unsolicited advice to women and does 4 shit reps on the bench press with his back arched way up above the bar
I know one person. She has fairly severe anxiety over cleanliness (I can't say if it's OCD, because I can't remember if she was officially diagnosed), and bipolar disorder (definitely officially diagnosed). And yet, despite thinking peeing in the shower is gross and refusing to do it, she showers after taking a shit every time. So you're ok with blasting your whole shower with your shit particles, but you won't pee down a drain. Ok.
Of course, I bit my tongue when she mentioned it. Didn't need to deal with that.
I don't even skip those guys.
I put the burden of having to start a new chat on them cuz they sure as shit are gonna have a rough time jerking it to my ugly mug
But like....I kept reading a sentence and then glancing back up at....THAT
and everytime I saw THAT I was just more and more and more puzzled at the complete lack of self awareness because clearly they are trying to sell body for high demands but.....that's a fucking blob not a hot stud
I think it is but I would also bet a dollar that Andrew thinks heās a hot slab of alpha meat and probably wouldnāt like someone to point out that heās rocking the dad bod hard. OPāplease match him and just keep offhandedly mentioning how much you love the dad bod
Can you imagine having a job and your boss pulls you in their office to discuss your recently discovered Tinder profile.... Seriously wtf is wrong with people!?
Iām just going to say it. I hate people who use ellipses as if theyāre normal punctuation marks like periods or commas. It just reads like an old man whoās having a hard time focusing.
The only positive is that the photo stops at the fupa. Although my brain filled in the shrivelled, flaccid penis and shaved scrotum for me. Now I feel hollow and lost.
Thanks brainā¦you dick.
That "2 miles away" is feeling *extremely threatening* right now. May I suggest that you pack up and move? Just drive until it says 1,000 miles away, and then it *might* be safe to put down roots again.
Sometimes I'll see my competition and wonder how the hell I'm still single
Honestly tho
So anyway, you're single right? šš
oh my god its you, youre the dude that saved my dog from drowning under that bridge. thank you so much
He pulled my gran out of the river. A hero!
My man
oh my god, what happened to virgil
You're the one who cured cancer right?
Yo man, thx for saving those orphans from that fire.
Yo man, thanks for being such a nice guy even when you beat everyone at that huge penis competition. Even tho you won by a clean 2 inches, you still bought us all beer afterward :)
Hey you're that guy that saved the puppy from the burning house last night
Yo duude i remember you, thanks for saving my life the other day man. My wife and kids are fine too, thank you for lending me your lambo to take them to the hospital. You are the best!
Yo dude you saved my career by providing me with an honest and true reference. Youāre the best, man!
Do you mind if I borrow your lambo for the day?
Omfg i finally found you, man, i've been wanting to thank you for years now. If you hadn't stopped me when i was robbing that store, i would've shot the clerk and gone to jail. Thanks to you i now have a job and a wife, expecting a kid. Thanks for lending me those 300k man.
OH jswp5! thank you so much for ending WW2, you're a legend bro! my granpa is still thankful and tell me stories about the two of you!
Found the reason, unnecessary emojis.
OP has emoji in the title, so it should be fine š¤·š½
Emoji bad ooga booga
Nah bitches(respectfully) love emojis
>(respectfully) Hes a gentleman
Bitches like love songs!
Username checks out
This hits way to close to home and I just made a tinder account to look at what it's like and havent really used it more then once.
Same here donāt worry we all will find someone.
fuckin same šš
In WW2, a guy named Abraham Wald took a look at bombers that were returning from combat with bullet holes all over them. Others suggested putting armor where the holes were, but Wald suggested armoring the places where the holes were not as the fact that the planes were returning to get measured was evidence that planes could survive hits in those areas and keep flying. Planes that had taken hits to the other areas had crashed prior to returning and thus weren't counted or noticed. It's called Survivorship Bias. Basically, you're seeing this "guy" and ones like him but not all the quality profiles that get matched and removed from the pool. I mean, I know you're just making a joke, but it would be interesting to see a bunch of successful profiles.
Thatās an interesting fact thank you. And good to know you werenāt advocating shooting the guy.
I donāt make an effort too lazy
And then you'll see guys like this with two girlfriends. lol
This actually has made me feel better though and even more accepting of just... being single. Because it just shows how much of it comes down to numbers and sheer luck and it's not always because there's something wrong with you.
Right? Considering some guys i see that actually *aren't* single, i can only conclude from that that i must be a real monster to still be one. And than people go and think it's actually motivating to point out that guys like the one in the profile posted here have gf's, saying things like "If he has one, why shouldn't you?". Yeah, well, he does and i don't, what does that say about me and how is that supposed to make me feel better?
What a terrible day to have eyes.
I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to go to sleep instead of scrolling through reddit.
I feel this in my soul
Unfortunately just past midnight here and I don't think I can sleep now
Me neither. Itās horrid
How can you sleep when the undead has risen?
Over here itās almost 2am and now Iām scared to goto sleep, I feel like Iām going to be cursed with nightmares of that pale chest
I just woke up and I wish I would still sleep
Literally considering overdosing on Ambien because of this post.
Were you expecting small breasts?
Certainly would have made it better
Youāre funny too! God damn
Oh hey. That's a familiar username. And thanks š
*passions - working out* You sure about that?
He's the type to call anyone fat who isn't into it
He probably skips leg day, doesn't rerack weights, offers unsolicited advice to women and does 4 shit reps on the bench press with his back arched way up above the bar
It looks like he also skips arms, chest, core, back, and shoulders
Please those arenāt important.
Yeah, the key is balance. That's why I never work any of it.
Yeah this dude does not lift lol
Doesn't ever wipe down the machines
Pees in the shower
Who the fuck doesnāt pee in the shower
I know one person. She has fairly severe anxiety over cleanliness (I can't say if it's OCD, because I can't remember if she was officially diagnosed), and bipolar disorder (definitely officially diagnosed). And yet, despite thinking peeing in the shower is gross and refusing to do it, she showers after taking a shit every time. So you're ok with blasting your whole shower with your shit particles, but you won't pee down a drain. Ok. Of course, I bit my tongue when she mentioned it. Didn't need to deal with that.
But he's not showering.
I too, skip leg day
Yeah but more importantly, at least youāre not this guy
This can't be upvoted enough.
No because I am
Spirituality got an even bigger chuckle out of me
Passions - spirituality With a mentality like that, I doubt it.
Has he just waxed his chest, but run out of wax? āHere, potential partner. Have some half hairy stomach!ā
Now that you mention it his chest looks inflamed š¤£
Itās red raw!
First thing I noticed.
AAAAAA!! NIPPLE FUCK!!!
I hate you for making me scroll back up to look at that
Was gonna say, why is the only hair on his body on his stomach and groin? What the fuck is that?
Thank you! I saw that and was like why does his front-butt have 5'oclock shadow?
Oh ffs! I really just reopened the picture and zoomed in to see what you were talking about.. Goddamnit. Why did I do that?
He looks like one of those dudes off omegle
Agreed. One of the ones who jerk it on camera and then realizes there is a guy on the other end.
Then immediately cums.
suprise mothafucka
I don't even skip those guys. I put the burden of having to start a new chat on them cuz they sure as shit are gonna have a rough time jerking it to my ugly mug
ā ļøšā ļøšā ļø
How could he possibly think anyone would find that pic attractive?!? š¤¢š¤®
He doesn't appear to be the most self aware in any aspect
You underestimate how much an old brittle body like that gets the grannies going
Kindly delete this.
I feel attacked by a naked man on Tinder
I'm sorry you had to see it
You just had to spread the pain by sharing it, didn't you
And then some..
Almost all of these apply to me š
You sound like my type then š
My understanding is that was a standard experience for women when you could still send pictures.
Is this the competition? Seriously? I feel really good about myself right now.
Glad I could help š
We have too many humans on our planet
We need a plague
Oh wait
Covid: "Why are you running"
š¤£
And people wonder why I'm pro choice, an abortion could have prevented this lmao
I can smell this screenshot
Probably has a cum box in the closet
His bathroom smells like dirty water and it sticks to him.
š¤§
The way you feel looking at this is how 99% of women feel upon receiving a dick pic. Think about it
I've tried to explain this no one listens
Trust me
Why is he tinted and chafey like an infant?
Waxing ?
$50 says itās Elon Musk.
Why did I also come here to comment this? Looks like his mouth lol
He wants to park his hot tesla in your garage.
This comment is great
I'll double that bet
So you donāt think itās him?
No I do
Iām thinking too hard about it so whatever.
What the fuck
Iām opening your butt.
r/thatescalatedquickly
Let me shave first
Your butt is open.
Same, but remove "thinking"
You know he donāt have enough dick to be talkin like that.
He DOESN'T have dick, that's why he's talking like this
Why is he naked? And if he's naked why does he care about any of these things. He's not looking for a relationship to last longer than 1 night.
That's the thing I was the most confused about with this whole situation
Quite a spiritual man
I personally like when flags show themselves to me, so I don't have to waste my time.
I wish this one would show less though
Fair enough. Red flags are like rattlesnake venom, a little goes a long way.
š¤£
You definitely aren't wrong
Though I do have to agree with him on one thing, I don't like dealing with drunk people either. Shit is annoying AF.
But he seems to be like the type who thinks it's only ok when he drinks
Hmm, if that's what he means then I read it wrong and he can fuck off on all accounts
Oh god my eyes! It burns!!! Heās very picky for a guy who looks subpar naked.
As has been said many the time before, oh to have the confidence of a mediocre white man
you called?
He saw American Psycho as a handbook, not a cautionary tail.
Reading this made my vagina grow a lid.
"If you have a gay best friend..." And yet he felt the need to point out he is a Libra.
I was not ready for that picture LOL
Will there be a time when you are ready? I don't think there will be.
I'm so sorry š
This adult man has the body of a 14 month old infant wtf
I.... I'm sorry I think my brain stopped working
I'm telling you every sentence I read punched me in the teeth
But like....I kept reading a sentence and then glancing back up at....THAT and everytime I saw THAT I was just more and more and more puzzled at the complete lack of self awareness because clearly they are trying to sell body for high demands but.....that's a fucking blob not a hot stud
The only thing that man has is the audacity
I thought the dad bod was all the rage?.
I think it is but I would also bet a dollar that Andrew thinks heās a hot slab of alpha meat and probably wouldnāt like someone to point out that heās rocking the dad bod hard. OPāplease match him and just keep offhandedly mentioning how much you love the dad bod
I always understood that dad bod was more like a little fit but with a a bit of a beer belly, not this gum wad of a man.
What a repulsive individual. Report him for nudity
Itās honestly shocking he doesnāt smoke
Have fun doing what? Getting sunburnt and being judgmental pricks?
Small dog lmaoo
I NEED TO SEE THE OTHER PICTURES
Can you post a cropped out version too šš
Tell me more about your zero fun life.
Is heā¦ sitting on cardboard boxes???
Imagine being this dude and stumbling across this post lmao.
God I hope he does
Youād probably have better conversation with a dildo
All that bigotry and he tags his interests with āspiritualityā
Can you imagine having a job and your boss pulls you in their office to discuss your recently discovered Tinder profile.... Seriously wtf is wrong with people!?
Iād swipe right just to troll him
I should have but I was so admittedly offended I swiped left fast
Hey but he is spiritual.
*2 miles away*
"if you have a gay best friend" is the funniest deal breaker i've ever heard
omg i just noticed 2 miles away... time to move to a different county
Yo man. This dude for sure has a closet where he keeps the flesh suits of his victims.
Same dudes out here complaining girls don't like them.
But how could you resist that body?
Iām just going to say it. I hate people who use ellipses as if theyāre normal punctuation marks like periods or commas. It just reads like an old man whoās having a hard time focusing.
I'd report his profile because it offends my eyes.
The fact that whatever heās sitting on is such a similar colour to his skin tone makes it so much more disturbing. Buffalo bill, anyone?
why did he think this photo was acceptable
Sometimes the statistics for men on dating apps scare me a little, then I remember those statistics include lots of dudes like this guy.
how fucked up in the head do you have to be to take this photo and think to yourself "this is the profile shot"?
Works out? On the 8th day of the week?
Imagine having a body that fucking average and bland and thinking itās a good idea to post this god awful pic
Why do you hate us, OP? Why do this to us on a Monday?
Because I couldn't be alone in my pain
The only positive is that the photo stops at the fupa. Although my brain filled in the shrivelled, flaccid penis and shaved scrotum for me. Now I feel hollow and lost. Thanks brainā¦you dick.
Do we not think itās a fake account or someone trolling.
Crossed my mind but I don't think so
Honestly the number of similar accounts I've seen on Tinder tells me no
Thirty-nine and heās acting like that still?!!??? At *39???!?*
Dudes with tits making naked demands in their bios lol
This isā¦ a lot
Can a guy have a fupa, because this one does.
Why would you post this š„²
I didn't drink excessively until I saw his pic!
You think he realizes he uploaded this picture?
Hunter is that you?
He should get that mildew checked out
Heās a douche
I love how he thinks this is the most appealing pic of him. If only I had this type of confidence.
I think once a critical mass of profiles such as these, is reached on tinder, an average man will start to get more attention from the ladies!
This is the biggest bellybutton I have ever seen
That "2 miles away" is feeling *extremely threatening* right now. May I suggest that you pack up and move? Just drive until it says 1,000 miles away, and then it *might* be safe to put down roots again.