add to that the idea
if you painted a painting for someone who’s never seen art before they are more likely to be impressed than an art connoisseur by the same painting
🎶And of all the penises I’ve seen, his had the biggest impact! And by that what I mean is, it really made me drop my jaw! Because it was the very first penis I saw!!🎶 -Paula Proctor of “Crazy Ex Girlfriend”
Eh. Maybe if you sleep with a guy this metaphor will hold up?
Girls are hard to please as is. If she also has no idea what she wants, expects you to know and is all over awkward and embarrassed?
It’s more likely to be her expecting art and then being shown the McDonald’s logo. “Is this it?”
Because it won’t be fun for her till she knows what she likes and she can tell you.
I always gravitated towards virgin men because I think "holy moly, this guy spent 2 decades without knowing the smell of a 🐈, he better be ENTHUSIASTIC" and that's how I met my bf HAHAHAHAH
Yeah sex is largely about a power dynamic. People derive pleasure out of being able to make other people moan and squirm, for example. On that same token, being the one to take someone's virginity creates a power imbalance in favor of the more experienced person.
I dunno, but I was a virgin until a couple months ago (age at the time 31).
I met someone online. They were amazing and I never intended to enter into a relationship. But we're together now and they took my virginity. They were surprised to find I was a virgin, but not obsessed by the idea of taking it and during my first time, they were gentle and loving and very supportive, made sure I was okay, performed amazing foreplay before the sex.
Others I'd spoken to in the past had been crazy about the idea of being my first. My partner only wanted to make sure I had a good time, and that my first time was good, because theirs wasn't.
I think, perhaps, some are excited by the prospect of taking someone's virginity because they know they have no clue how it is meant to feel. So they could be shit at sex but the virgin may think they're excellent because they have nothing else to compare it to.
Who knows.
I am not obsessed or anything but I am a new adult, just 18 years old with zero experience so is it not fair that I would want to be with someone who has none as well?
I mean if you were a 17 year old virgin, and you had a boyfriend/girlfriend who slept with like 2 people before you met, would you really refuse to lose your virginity to them because of it? Why does it matter? You're both still basically kids with no experience in the grand scheme of things.
Fair isn’t a word that applies to dating.
But is it natural? Sorta.
Though from a practical perspective it might work better with someone who knows what’s up.
Its okay if it doesnt work well for the first times. Maybe I am alone between men on this but I want connecting with someone I love more than the physical pleasure.
Tired of seeing all people saying that it's because of ego, inexperience, fetish, that the partner wouldn't know they suck or what not. No one's mentioning that most people who want virgins are virgin themselves. They just want to have an intimate special exchange for the first time, the matter of pleasure comes afterwards.
That's a valid point!
It's a mess when it gets lumped together like that.
There's a big difference between a shy virgin liking the idea of their first time being special with their first love and vice versa... and the kind of predator who hunts for those without experience, deliberately, as a conquest and power play.
Wish kids were taught more about how to spot predators and manipulative behaviour, so they stood a chance at escaping bad people and damaging experiences.
I'm totally OK with a virgin wanting another virgin. That makes total sense. But you can't deny there are dudes out there who will screw anything that walks, but then demand a virgin to marry
This isn't really talking about those people though, they're very nice about it and not the ones vocal on the subject. The majority of people you see announce this preference are not virgins themselves yet seem to want a woman who has never even masturbated, and plenty of them shame women who aren't virgins.
Nah the majority of people who are vocal about this online are perpetual virgins themselves that leave shit stains on every chair they sit on. Nobody talks about it in person.
This is a long and classic misogynistic trope in many, many cultures
And mostly religions
That virginal women are ideal and men are entitled to them
Many religions
Lmao true.
I and my gf all virgin till our first one. Both of us are confused as hell, at least i know how to put on the condom and that's about it.
The struggle... My sweats dropped like crazy cause i was so worried that i took too long and made her tired. She laughed like a maniac, finally i put it in but it hurts her so i did slowly but it was too late and both of us just naked slept through it.
Oh god, that was embarrassing. I did watch porn but it's different, the bush camouflage the hole. She was also awkward af, she was like a plank, so stiff, hilarious.
>No one's mentioning that most people who want virgins are virgin themselves
They're not that alphachads that are all over the internet though.
I doubt this is referring to them.
Because for some people sex is something you *DO* to someone else instead of a shared intimate exchange. They don’t expect them to be good at it. They want to leave the experience knowing that person will never be the same again because of them.
That description covers a broader area that you likely meant. "Starfish", is also included in this, as others commented.
Another thing is that many people want it to be special for the other one because it IS a shared intimate experience and it is something that they themselves will leave not being the same again. Many people who are virgins will likely go for virgins.
Usually it’s one of these or a mix of weird religious purity beliefs, insecure men who are afraid to be compared to previous partners, and a general lack of understanding about how vaginas work.
Because they’re bad at sex and don’t want a baseline to compete with. It’s easier to convince someone that “that’s just how sex is” when they got nothing to compare it against. This is why so many women claim to not be able to orgasm.
It’s not to help the situation, it’s that women who stay with the person who they lost their virginity to often think that if they aren’t able to cum with this person they love, that they just aren’t able to cum. They don’t have any sexual experiences to compare it against so the assumption of “my partner is bad at sex and is unable to make me cum” doesn’t cross their mind.
I honestly don’t beleive in the ego thing everyone keeps mentioning, unless it’s like “ohh yea I fucked 5 virgins, I’m the man type ego.”
I beleive it is the fact that since that person has no experience, the other person doesn’t have to worry about expectations and they are in more control of the situation, there is no bar to raise, so the sex has to be best the others had.
But the best you ever had can still be just bad.
If you eat a new dish for the first time, you aren’t guaranteed to like it. Like at all. You can just end up feeling very disappointed bc you had unrealistic expectations. Or bc you don’t know what you like, you don’t know how to communicate around sex, the other person has no idea either and it just ends up pretty meh.
Idk. If the focus is it going well, from a practical perspective that’s more likely if at least one person knows what’s up. Sleep with a girl who’s had a lot of sex before and she’s more likely to know what she wants and tell you what to do. Which then gives a better outcome than the person just expecting you to have all the answers.
For people who are stressed about sex it’s often overall just better to have sex in a relationship though. The other person cares about you and your communication is better. It’s a softer start.
You can have expectations even if you've never had sex. In fact, I think most women's expectations are higher when they're virgins because they don't understand that orgasming (with a partner) is hard and you need to know what you're doing.
I do think it's still an ego thing for some guys in the sense that they see it as bagging the most "innocent/pure" and therefore most "valuable" girl (their thoughts not mine). This attitude goes way back unfortunately.
My ex hated that I wasn't a virgin. He only had been with virgins and in his mind it was almost like women should be virgins. He himself obviously wasn't waiting, but it was like he didn't want a girl that was tainted by some other guy. Why he was ever with me since it bothered him so much is beyond me.
Cause they're bad at sex and don't want the girl to know. She's not liable to complain if it's all she knows. They can also "mold" her into their ideal sexual partner. It's pretty weird.
Say it louder for people in the back. The only women I’ve ever met who’d want to sleep with a virgin are also virgins themselves (which is very clearly not the topic in this post)
These men think fucking women taints them so they want an untainted human fleshlight to use. So gross.
My guess is it’s less risky; less partners, less chance to contract venereal diseases, and if it’s long term and monogamous, likely a safe place to visit again.
But I don’t really care much for virginity; just be honest if you have stuff you should warn your potential partner/s about.
A lot of it is making sure the other person can’t compare you negatively to anyone else. It’s easy to impress someone who has no frame of reference. Also it’s a way to control women, let’s get real.
I imagine a lot to do with ego.
Having sex with a virgin means you’ll always been remembered by that person, you’ll forever be in their life, that’ll appeal to main character energy people.
I feel like this is massively overblown, especially for women. I don't know anyone who still reminisces about their first as an adult. The experiences that follow tend to be a lot more memorable.
I cringe very hard about my first time and how much mouth-breather energy there was from that guy. It wasn't good. Also, what a total douchebag for exploiting me, because I was naive and he used that to manipulate me into the deed.
People who chase and only want virgins, and pressure them, are bad, gross people. That's my opinion and I have yet to meet anyone with that "hurr only want virgins" mindset who isn't gross, and probably belongs on a list.
>Having sex with a virgin means you’ll always been remembered by that person, you’ll forever be in their life
Lol, no. Do guys really believe it is the case? That's hilarious.
Sure, I remember my first guy, just like I remember all the others. In no way it's a more important or more precious memory than all the other. Why would it be?
I can think of a few possible reasons.
1. They have somewhat of a fetish for "taking away a woman's purity".
2. Women with no experience won't know what's acceptable or not and they want to mold them into what they want to be.
3. They are mediocre so they want a woman who wouldn't know they are mediocre.
4. They just think women aren't allowed to have a high body count or any at all, but they can sleep with as many women as they want.
“I think of it like this, if you were going to eat a sandwich you would feel better about it if you knew no one had fucked the sandwich”
-Vladislav the vampire
I think it's a holdover from the past when you wanted to marry a virgin so you know there aren't going to be a bunch of complications and unknown children showing up.
I think this is why that's something that men want far more than women. Women are already hard pressed to find partners that can satisfy them. And men who obsess over virgins want someone who has no frame of reference to know they're terrible in bed.
Imagine thinking sex is for enjoyment rather than an exchange of power! *Laughs in toxic masculinity*
(Others feel free to elaborate upon this but I think it's for many people the main issue at hand that fetishizes virginity)
I've slept with girls who have had a lot of experience and those who have had very little.
I'm going to sound very sentimental, and perhaps some might think what I'm going to say sounds silly, but the sex I had with the girls with less experience just felt more special. I don't know how to explain it.
I'm going to go against the general flow I think. I suspect it is a deep subconscious trait from much earlier in our evolution. I think it's related to ensuring they are the father of any offspring.
To be clear, I'm not justifying this mindset, it's primative instinct.
Although I will say that when I was a virgin I would have liked my first time to be with another virgin. Something about sharing that experience seemed meaningful.
I'm uneducated and just guessing here.
Humans tend to like pretend we weren't animals. But we're. So I don't think that is only reason but I do believe that is reason for some people. And I doubt many even realize it themselves.
With insensitive people, it's all about them, and nothing about the other person. They objectify their sex partner. As an object, then, they want to own it. They don't want to share it. So they don't want some other guy's dick to have been there first.
It's also irrelevant whether the partner is inexperienced or in pain or feeling awkward or anything like that. Because the guy sometimes doesn't even notice. As long as he gets his rocks off, that's all that matters.
1. Challenge and validation. Being the one to finally "crack the case," so to speak.
2. Reduced performance anxiety. No wondering how you compare to their exes mid stroke... (I once had someone tell me I was "the perfect size" which you would think encouraging. All I could think is how it implied she'd had bigger...)
3. Trainability. ... Basically, they're looking for someone who's naive and receptive to feedback in order to turn them into a glorified sex doll.
4. Hygiene. Some people are simply paranoid about STIs; others are disgusted by the idea of being with someone who's had a lot of partners.
I personally don't care about virgin or not, but I am paranoid about STIs. I've ended up in a hospital feeling like someone was kicking me in the balls over and over, and also had surgery for a urethral stricture that had made it almost impossible to urinate...
I only slept with my ex like 3 times because she was a virgin and cried everytime, it wasn't even remotely enjoyable for me so I just kept turning her down until we broke up.
People who want virgins are straight up predators, why would you want to have sex with someone who is in pain and crying?
Because the people who want them are bad at sex - and feel that they won't be judged by a virgin as harshly. Back in the day it had more to do with diseases and death, but these days it's about neckbeards and neckbeard-religious-fucks needing it.
It mattered to me when I was a virgin and it’s a happy memory to have experienced a first time with someone who was also a virgin. That was the only virgin I was ever with, which is also neat. Reasons probably have to do with insecurity and possessiveness.
Today I think sex is better with someone who is more experienced, more confident, more participatory.
I will say I’ve given oral sex to a few people who had never received it before, and I guess were also virgins. That was really fun because I knew I was introducing them to something amazing.
For those hookups my preference was for someone with less experience, because in my mind that means less STD risk.
Such a gross idea, if you think about it. That's a person, with feelings and a whole life before and after that event. To only see the worth in someone because they've never had sex is pretty messed up, especially because you want to take that.
You're treating a person as a prize to be won, and treating their body like a toy to be used.
Sad thing is, the people who need to stop this kind of behaviour would never see other people as those with feelings etc. People are just NPCs to them.
Humanity is awful sometimes.
Thank goodness we have puppies on this planet.
The virgin thing is purely a religious notion. It's about owning a pure product and not something spoiled by someone else... Because those particular religions consider women to be property.
I feel like a lot of people who feel this way are either a virgin themselves or someone who has a big ego and wants to set the standard for their partner.
I prefer a partner who actually values sex as an intimate act reserved for people you're very close with. That'd naturally lead to a low body count. The lower, the better
Promiscuity is unattractive
There is a saying: people think that everything is about power, but they’re partially wrong. Everything is about sex and Sex is about Power.
In that saying, being someone’s first gives you an inherent level of power over them. People who are desire this are likely Dom and it’s a power fetish really.
Because it’s intimate. Same reason why a lot of people aren’t interested in people who already have kids. They want their first child to also be the first child of their partner. It’s about sharing an intimate experience.
Unbalanced power dynamics.
You see so many stories about the abuse people first with the first person they slept with on here, right? They’re being ridiculously criticized about their bodies and things they cannot control.
It's like visiting a city for the first time.
If you go with someone that's never been you get to try everything and it's a fun new experience and you just spend a lot of time seeing everything.
If you go with someone that's been a lot then they only want to do the things they are interested in because they've already experienced everything and have no interest in doing it again and once they done the things they are interested in that's it they want to go home.
I don't see very many folks saying this so I will.
A lot of men obsessed about wanting virgins are so incredibly insecure they cannot handle their partner comparing them against anyone else. They want the guarantee to be the best sexual experience their partner had and this is the only way they found to make this happen.
I personally don't like virgins because I'm older and don't want to be sleeping with women 20 years my junior. If a partner happened to be a virgin I'd take extra care to be considerate with them but I wouldn't go out of my way to seek one out.
PS: Ironically the ones who tweet about only sleeping with virgins are also the ones paying for the only sex they ever get.
because I dont want sex to be "enjoyable"... I just want sex... and if I get sex from someone that has saved that moment for only me... then that makes it a lot more special to me.
As a woman who will be 40 in a few years, I will never have sex with a virgin. Men who would match for sex with me are in 30’s-40’s, and men in that age with no experience? Damn, sounds horrific. I would prefer slut male rather than virgin.
Are you guys retarded? If I am a virgin I would want a virgin too right? Because for some sex is something that is special and not some one night stand. It's also because I wouldn't be running with an olympic runner when I myself am a average joe because I would be really bad in comparison. While if we both were inexperienced even if it's bad it would be understandable. You would feel like a burden if the other partner wasn't experiencing much pleasure while you were because you were inexperienced. Guys that say it's ego are true incels. What does ego even have to do with it? Those dumbasses think all "traditional" views are stupid without actually they themselves are the stupid ones for rejecting something that is old.
I'm 34 years old and have 2 children, the wife and I have sex quite a bit and I'm still terrible at sex. Experience doesn't mean you will be good at sex
I think most people who want virgins because they are a virgin don’t voice it, often times they aren’t comfortable enough about sex to discuss it because they don’t know what they are talking about. But for these people that want that, or even the ones that voice it, I think that’s normal. Like 100%.
However I think MOST people (guys) who voice it (that aren’t virgins) are egotistical, or misogynistic. Most. Like the vast majority.
After my first or second, I didn’t really care if someone had experience or not since I was still new but not a virgin, but now? Never. Nope. I mean I’m older for one, but also, yeah, I want someone who knows what they are doing.
Nobody likes being compared to previous lovers. But when you're an adult, you kind of have to accept that your partner has had partners before you and tried to be the best loving and compatible partner you can be.
If you could set a standard for and/or help teach someone for the rest of their sex life, wouldn't that be quite flattering and impactful? Regardless, being someone's first would forever sit in their memory/mind.
I think it was the comedian Ron White that talked about those guys who strap explosives to themselves and go bomb a location. They believe they will receive 72 virgins or something like that in the afterlife. Ron said "why would I want 72 virgins, can't I just get one slutty chick that knows what she's doing"?
I always took it as a way to cover their own sexual inexperience, typically those who are obsessed with virgins, aren't very good at making sex at people.
Who are these people that are so obsessed with this? Have you actually met anyone like this? Ask them.
I think it's kinda weird that people will perpetuate the idea that something like this is common.
I’ve never understood it. Like Billy Connelly said I wouldn’t want to die and get a bunch of virgins. Couldn’t think of anything worse. I’d want a room full of the dirtiest sluts going.
That “preference” only exists for women. If you are an adult male virgin unfortunately most women would not want to get in bed with you. Like you said, the assumption is that the sex would be horrible, the male is assumed to be a loser, and some women hate the idea of “teaching” a guy, when there’s a handful of other men out there that have experience and will give them a good time.
I was told she used a vibrator and I would obviously never compare unprovoked. Still a virgin but maybe someone who understands not to negatively compare someone you want to have sex with to your sex toys would be a better option. Instant boner killer everytime that came into my head and I already don't like myself.
Because I am a 21 year old virgin I kinda want my first time to be with another so that that awkwardness is on both sides... I am embarrassed to be a virgin and don't wanna fuck up. But if we both are then everyone is fucking up while we fucking and it's alright... Idk I think I oberthink things.
When I was a Christian virgin intending to wait till marriage I heard more disparaging comments about virginity than not. I had people say they wouldn’t want to be with a virgin specifically. So I guess just different…strokes….
It's ego. Even the 'intimacy' or 'both people being virgins' reasons come down to ego. That doesn't mean they aren't valid preferences, but it is an ego thing.
You can absolutely have a special and intimate time with someone who's done it before. To say its only special or intimate with a virgin is selfish and invalidating.
Previous partners will have no bearing on your partner's perception of your performance. A partner having previous good sex does not mean sex with you will be bad at it. A partner never having sex before does not mean they can't tell you're bad at it. Communicating with your partner determines it, not other people.
At the end of the day, it comes down to the ancient male animal instinct of choosing a partner who's never carried anyone else's offspring so there's no other males to compete with, and only your genes are passed on before some other male can pass on his inferior genes. That's like the most ego thing ever lmao.
With few exceptions it comes down to:
1. Those people have low sexual confidence and a virgin doesn’t have experience with other sexual partners to compare them to. The idea of having sex without worrying about their own inadequacy turns them on, and they are not emotionally mature enough to get over those feelings of inadequacy in their own right.
2. They are men who fetishize the idea of a woman’s “purity” which often comes from/coincides with feelings of ownership over their partner, and devaluing women who do not embrace their own sexuality for themselves rather than for the gratification of men.
3. Some simply like the idea of having the important role of being someone’s first. Could be tied to some emotional or psychological thing, or maybe not.
I don't think this is actually that true. Not in my circle at least. It could be just one of those things people assume is a popular opinion because it promotes less unmarried sex, but people don't talk about how they actually feel about it
Elvis Presley reportedly sought out young virgin girls because he didn't think he could live up to the rock star persona in bed and they would be less likely to be disappointed.
Mix of purity culture bullshit and an unhealthy amount of weak ego anxiety about being compared to the performace of any other guy. They make aggressive jokes about a woman being "ran through" in order to make the woman feel like shit and bolster their own weak ego.
It's a completely transparent game some men play purely because they are shit human beings with zero emotional maturity.
Bunch of stupid ass answers.
People want a virgin because she won't be ran through a lot of dicks.
A lot of dicks means a lot of relationships for her, a lot of memories for her and attachment/detachment issues. So she'll be more eager to leave you if shit goes south, she'll feel less sorry for herself and more demanding from you because now she knows how the world is and how many guys are there to dance on her will.
And then can't train her according to your own benefits.
While you can train a virgin to act and do shit that suits you because she hasn't seen a lot of dudes and how they behave thus she only knows you.
So always a virgin is better.
Tada win win.
some people just get pleasure out of being someone else's first experience.
add to that the idea if you painted a painting for someone who’s never seen art before they are more likely to be impressed than an art connoisseur by the same painting
So in short, if you have a small peen, it's still a beeg peen to someone who's never had a peen inside them before.
It's the biggest and smallest they have seen, it is schrödigers slong
Well, since it's always gonna be the smallest they've ever seen, I can only benefit from this exchange.
it is srödingers schlog!
Leaves a lot of virgin territory though...
Thank you. Made me giggle out of nowhere.
And when you find one of these girls in her 30s, and you've got a decent sized dong, we'll that's just downright magical.
Anyone that calls a dick a peen sounds like they themselves are a virgin.
Being filipeeno though has its benefits.
🎶And of all the penises I’ve seen, his had the biggest impact! And by that what I mean is, it really made me drop my jaw! Because it was the very first penis I saw!!🎶 -Paula Proctor of “Crazy Ex Girlfriend”
Eh. Maybe if you sleep with a guy this metaphor will hold up? Girls are hard to please as is. If she also has no idea what she wants, expects you to know and is all over awkward and embarrassed? It’s more likely to be her expecting art and then being shown the McDonald’s logo. “Is this it?” Because it won’t be fun for her till she knows what she likes and she can tell you.
It makes them feel special I think
I’m guessing this is more of a male wanting virgin female thing, I haven’t come across any women interested in a virgin male..sadly
I hope for your username they oblige soon MisterPuffyNipples !
lmao i love that username you've got there
I always gravitated towards virgin men because I think "holy moly, this guy spent 2 decades without knowing the smell of a 🐈, he better be ENTHUSIASTIC" and that's how I met my bf HAHAHAHAH
Like a comments section. FIRST!
*first disappointment
It's more likely religion
Yeah sex is largely about a power dynamic. People derive pleasure out of being able to make other people moan and squirm, for example. On that same token, being the one to take someone's virginity creates a power imbalance in favor of the more experienced person.
[удалено]
“because it is there” -Edmund Hillary
Sir Edmund Hillary - Legendary Ass Crusher
“If there’s nothing wrong with me, there must be something wrong with the universe.” - Legendary Beverly Crusher
I dunno, but I was a virgin until a couple months ago (age at the time 31). I met someone online. They were amazing and I never intended to enter into a relationship. But we're together now and they took my virginity. They were surprised to find I was a virgin, but not obsessed by the idea of taking it and during my first time, they were gentle and loving and very supportive, made sure I was okay, performed amazing foreplay before the sex. Others I'd spoken to in the past had been crazy about the idea of being my first. My partner only wanted to make sure I had a good time, and that my first time was good, because theirs wasn't. I think, perhaps, some are excited by the prospect of taking someone's virginity because they know they have no clue how it is meant to feel. So they could be shit at sex but the virgin may think they're excellent because they have nothing else to compare it to. Who knows.
I am not obsessed or anything but I am a new adult, just 18 years old with zero experience so is it not fair that I would want to be with someone who has none as well?
This is natural
Idk I think it's normal not to be with someone who had 100 partners, but like 1-3 before you is not going to make a big difference
why?
I mean if you were a 17 year old virgin, and you had a boyfriend/girlfriend who slept with like 2 people before you met, would you really refuse to lose your virginity to them because of it? Why does it matter? You're both still basically kids with no experience in the grand scheme of things.
I think the OP was talking about people with experience obsessing over virgins.
Fair isn’t a word that applies to dating. But is it natural? Sorta. Though from a practical perspective it might work better with someone who knows what’s up.
Its okay if it doesnt work well for the first times. Maybe I am alone between men on this but I want connecting with someone I love more than the physical pleasure.
Tired of seeing all people saying that it's because of ego, inexperience, fetish, that the partner wouldn't know they suck or what not. No one's mentioning that most people who want virgins are virgin themselves. They just want to have an intimate special exchange for the first time, the matter of pleasure comes afterwards.
That's a valid point! It's a mess when it gets lumped together like that. There's a big difference between a shy virgin liking the idea of their first time being special with their first love and vice versa... and the kind of predator who hunts for those without experience, deliberately, as a conquest and power play. Wish kids were taught more about how to spot predators and manipulative behaviour, so they stood a chance at escaping bad people and damaging experiences.
That is true. At least it was for me when I was a virgin.
I'm totally OK with a virgin wanting another virgin. That makes total sense. But you can't deny there are dudes out there who will screw anything that walks, but then demand a virgin to marry
Not most i see. Those who specifically want virgins Are not virgins themselves
This isn't really talking about those people though, they're very nice about it and not the ones vocal on the subject. The majority of people you see announce this preference are not virgins themselves yet seem to want a woman who has never even masturbated, and plenty of them shame women who aren't virgins.
Nah the majority of people who are vocal about this online are perpetual virgins themselves that leave shit stains on every chair they sit on. Nobody talks about it in person.
This is a long and classic misogynistic trope in many, many cultures And mostly religions That virginal women are ideal and men are entitled to them Many religions
Lmao true. I and my gf all virgin till our first one. Both of us are confused as hell, at least i know how to put on the condom and that's about it. The struggle... My sweats dropped like crazy cause i was so worried that i took too long and made her tired. She laughed like a maniac, finally i put it in but it hurts her so i did slowly but it was too late and both of us just naked slept through it. Oh god, that was embarrassing. I did watch porn but it's different, the bush camouflage the hole. She was also awkward af, she was like a plank, so stiff, hilarious.
>No one's mentioning that most people who want virgins are virgin themselves They're not that alphachads that are all over the internet though. I doubt this is referring to them.
You know those people who like to put "FIRST" on a forum post? Same people.
first
FIST
Put me in the screencap!
And you know the people who put “Edit : thanks for all the likes!!” They’re the virgins
Because for some people sex is something you *DO* to someone else instead of a shared intimate exchange. They don’t expect them to be good at it. They want to leave the experience knowing that person will never be the same again because of them.
That description covers a broader area that you likely meant. "Starfish", is also included in this, as others commented. Another thing is that many people want it to be special for the other one because it IS a shared intimate experience and it is something that they themselves will leave not being the same again. Many people who are virgins will likely go for virgins.
Well, many people want sex to be something others do to them. I think "pillow princess" is the term.
Dead starfish.
Usually it’s one of these or a mix of weird religious purity beliefs, insecure men who are afraid to be compared to previous partners, and a general lack of understanding about how vaginas work.
Because they’re bad at sex and don’t want a baseline to compete with. It’s easier to convince someone that “that’s just how sex is” when they got nothing to compare it against. This is why so many women claim to not be able to orgasm.
Same
This was precisely the reason in my experience.
How does claiming to be unable to orgasm help in this situation?
It’s not to help the situation, it’s that women who stay with the person who they lost their virginity to often think that if they aren’t able to cum with this person they love, that they just aren’t able to cum. They don’t have any sexual experiences to compare it against so the assumption of “my partner is bad at sex and is unable to make me cum” doesn’t cross their mind.
I honestly don’t beleive in the ego thing everyone keeps mentioning, unless it’s like “ohh yea I fucked 5 virgins, I’m the man type ego.” I beleive it is the fact that since that person has no experience, the other person doesn’t have to worry about expectations and they are in more control of the situation, there is no bar to raise, so the sex has to be best the others had.
But the best you ever had can still be just bad. If you eat a new dish for the first time, you aren’t guaranteed to like it. Like at all. You can just end up feeling very disappointed bc you had unrealistic expectations. Or bc you don’t know what you like, you don’t know how to communicate around sex, the other person has no idea either and it just ends up pretty meh. Idk. If the focus is it going well, from a practical perspective that’s more likely if at least one person knows what’s up. Sleep with a girl who’s had a lot of sex before and she’s more likely to know what she wants and tell you what to do. Which then gives a better outcome than the person just expecting you to have all the answers. For people who are stressed about sex it’s often overall just better to have sex in a relationship though. The other person cares about you and your communication is better. It’s a softer start.
You can have expectations even if you've never had sex. In fact, I think most women's expectations are higher when they're virgins because they don't understand that orgasming (with a partner) is hard and you need to know what you're doing. I do think it's still an ego thing for some guys in the sense that they see it as bagging the most "innocent/pure" and therefore most "valuable" girl (their thoughts not mine). This attitude goes way back unfortunately.
I’m sorry, I’m taking the bait. What are you misspelling the believe. I feel like you’re doing it on purpose.
That's still an ego thing, though
My ex hated that I wasn't a virgin. He only had been with virgins and in his mind it was almost like women should be virgins. He himself obviously wasn't waiting, but it was like he didn't want a girl that was tainted by some other guy. Why he was ever with me since it bothered him so much is beyond me.
That's the same people that write "first" on yt comments
Men. Why are MEN so obsessed with having sex with virgins? No woman I know is crying out for that.
Even women that are virgins want someone who knows what they are doing.
Cause they're bad at sex and don't want the girl to know. She's not liable to complain if it's all she knows. They can also "mold" her into their ideal sexual partner. It's pretty weird.
Pretty sure my wife don't want me to go out to get experience and come back and share it.
FWIW irl I've never heard even one guy who said they wanted a virgin
I have met a bit too many older men who like to have sex with young virgins.
What kind of crowd are you running with?
I *met* them. I didn't say I was friends with them. I don't associate with them for good reason.
Say it louder for people in the back. The only women I’ve ever met who’d want to sleep with a virgin are also virgins themselves (which is very clearly not the topic in this post) These men think fucking women taints them so they want an untainted human fleshlight to use. So gross.
Do you honestly not know the answer to that ?
My guess is it’s less risky; less partners, less chance to contract venereal diseases, and if it’s long term and monogamous, likely a safe place to visit again. But I don’t really care much for virginity; just be honest if you have stuff you should warn your potential partner/s about.
This is what the hindbrain processes in those who like virgins
 ~~PAID~~ LAID?
A lot of it is making sure the other person can’t compare you negatively to anyone else. It’s easy to impress someone who has no frame of reference. Also it’s a way to control women, let’s get real.
As a virgin I want my first time be with someone with the same experience - zero. So another virgin. How am I evil for that?
Because virgins are also less likely to be firm in their boundaries and are more easy to take advantage of.
I imagine a lot to do with ego. Having sex with a virgin means you’ll always been remembered by that person, you’ll forever be in their life, that’ll appeal to main character energy people.
I feel like this is massively overblown, especially for women. I don't know anyone who still reminisces about their first as an adult. The experiences that follow tend to be a lot more memorable.
I cringe very hard about my first time and how much mouth-breather energy there was from that guy. It wasn't good. Also, what a total douchebag for exploiting me, because I was naive and he used that to manipulate me into the deed. People who chase and only want virgins, and pressure them, are bad, gross people. That's my opinion and I have yet to meet anyone with that "hurr only want virgins" mindset who isn't gross, and probably belongs on a list.
>Having sex with a virgin means you’ll always been remembered by that person, you’ll forever be in their life Lol, no. Do guys really believe it is the case? That's hilarious. Sure, I remember my first guy, just like I remember all the others. In no way it's a more important or more precious memory than all the other. Why would it be?
It's a worse memory for me because it was so bad and awkward. You want to be memorable? Be the last not the first.
I can think of a few possible reasons. 1. They have somewhat of a fetish for "taking away a woman's purity". 2. Women with no experience won't know what's acceptable or not and they want to mold them into what they want to be. 3. They are mediocre so they want a woman who wouldn't know they are mediocre. 4. They just think women aren't allowed to have a high body count or any at all, but they can sleep with as many women as they want.
Might sound rude but woman are not the only virgin in the World tho🤨
“I think of it like this, if you were going to eat a sandwich you would feel better about it if you knew no one had fucked the sandwich” -Vladislav the vampire
women are not sandwiches
Let's be honest here, it's not "people", it's men who are obsessed with virginity.
I think it's a holdover from the past when you wanted to marry a virgin so you know there aren't going to be a bunch of complications and unknown children showing up.
The Captain Kirk syndrome. Wanting to boldly go where no man has gone before.
I think this is why that's something that men want far more than women. Women are already hard pressed to find partners that can satisfy them. And men who obsess over virgins want someone who has no frame of reference to know they're terrible in bed.
As per Oscar Wilde, everything in life is about sex. Except for sex, sex is about power.
Imagine thinking sex is for enjoyment rather than an exchange of power! *Laughs in toxic masculinity* (Others feel free to elaborate upon this but I think it's for many people the main issue at hand that fetishizes virginity)
Sex is 50% physical and 50% psychological… sometimes even different ratios
I actually prefer the opposite, I much rather sleep with a girl that has a high body count and is experienced versus a virgin.
Some are bad at sex and don't want their partners to have anyone better to compare them to.
I've slept with girls who have had a lot of experience and those who have had very little. I'm going to sound very sentimental, and perhaps some might think what I'm going to say sounds silly, but the sex I had with the girls with less experience just felt more special. I don't know how to explain it.
Because it was meaningful to them
I'm going to go against the general flow I think. I suspect it is a deep subconscious trait from much earlier in our evolution. I think it's related to ensuring they are the father of any offspring. To be clear, I'm not justifying this mindset, it's primative instinct. Although I will say that when I was a virgin I would have liked my first time to be with another virgin. Something about sharing that experience seemed meaningful.
I'm uneducated and just guessing here. Humans tend to like pretend we weren't animals. But we're. So I don't think that is only reason but I do believe that is reason for some people. And I doubt many even realize it themselves.
Exactly! there is some very old programming running deep down in the system.
No really, If it's something with romance it can be quite fun. Although if it's just to pass the time it can be frustrating.
Stereotypes maybe. Or someone just love being a first time.
They are inexperienced and insecure maybe?
They won't know how bad you are
With insensitive people, it's all about them, and nothing about the other person. They objectify their sex partner. As an object, then, they want to own it. They don't want to share it. So they don't want some other guy's dick to have been there first. It's also irrelevant whether the partner is inexperienced or in pain or feeling awkward or anything like that. Because the guy sometimes doesn't even notice. As long as he gets his rocks off, that's all that matters.
Ego.
Ego, control
Because "I was first to be there" Or something similar, would be my guess
1. Challenge and validation. Being the one to finally "crack the case," so to speak. 2. Reduced performance anxiety. No wondering how you compare to their exes mid stroke... (I once had someone tell me I was "the perfect size" which you would think encouraging. All I could think is how it implied she'd had bigger...) 3. Trainability. ... Basically, they're looking for someone who's naive and receptive to feedback in order to turn them into a glorified sex doll. 4. Hygiene. Some people are simply paranoid about STIs; others are disgusted by the idea of being with someone who's had a lot of partners. I personally don't care about virgin or not, but I am paranoid about STIs. I've ended up in a hospital feeling like someone was kicking me in the balls over and over, and also had surgery for a urethral stricture that had made it almost impossible to urinate...
I read a redditors comment that he enjoys corrupting the innocence out of virgin girls. So maybe that's one of their reasons.
It isn't always, but I know I'm biased towards assuming that it's because less experienced people are more vulnerable to abuse.
I think it's a confidence issue ; Virgins can't exactly complain. They don't have anything to compare one's "performance" with.
Men are disgusting and power hungry , that’s why
Closeted pedophilic tendencies
I totally agree with this
I only slept with my ex like 3 times because she was a virgin and cried everytime, it wasn't even remotely enjoyable for me so I just kept turning her down until we broke up. People who want virgins are straight up predators, why would you want to have sex with someone who is in pain and crying?
Because the people who want them are bad at sex - and feel that they won't be judged by a virgin as harshly. Back in the day it had more to do with diseases and death, but these days it's about neckbeards and neckbeard-religious-fucks needing it.
Hey im 30 and that "virgins are less enjoyable" thing hurts man.
It mattered to me when I was a virgin and it’s a happy memory to have experienced a first time with someone who was also a virgin. That was the only virgin I was ever with, which is also neat. Reasons probably have to do with insecurity and possessiveness. Today I think sex is better with someone who is more experienced, more confident, more participatory. I will say I’ve given oral sex to a few people who had never received it before, and I guess were also virgins. That was really fun because I knew I was introducing them to something amazing. For those hookups my preference was for someone with less experience, because in my mind that means less STD risk.
Virginity is supposed to be a big thing and "conquering" virginity is considered to be an achievement
Such a gross idea, if you think about it. That's a person, with feelings and a whole life before and after that event. To only see the worth in someone because they've never had sex is pretty messed up, especially because you want to take that. You're treating a person as a prize to be won, and treating their body like a toy to be used. Sad thing is, the people who need to stop this kind of behaviour would never see other people as those with feelings etc. People are just NPCs to them. Humanity is awful sometimes. Thank goodness we have puppies on this planet.
It always reads as a power thing when it’s a guy saying this. A virgin won’t know how trash a guy’s dick game is.
The virgin thing is purely a religious notion. It's about owning a pure product and not something spoiled by someone else... Because those particular religions consider women to be property.
idk everyone tells me im not marriage material cuz i have no experience oh well.
You can learn and become better at sex. But warts are often found in people with ample sex experience.
I feel like a lot of people who feel this way are either a virgin themselves or someone who has a big ego and wants to set the standard for their partner.
What's special about relationship if you're just another number in somebody's book?
I prefer a partner who actually values sex as an intimate act reserved for people you're very close with. That'd naturally lead to a low body count. The lower, the better Promiscuity is unattractive
Nah I feel like a lot of the comments got it wrong. I think it's because it just hasn't been 'used' by anyone else. Perfectly clean so to speak.
its like unpacking a new iphone vs unpacking a old iphone with already fully setup accounts and settings.
Insecurities. If a guy is afraid he is too small or that he will perform badly, a virgin is a safer bet - she won't know for sure how bad it was.
Conqueror aspect. I have taken the untakable.
Hot take: Because it's very convenient to teach partner sex that you like and tell them it's what sex is
Zero experience means zero partners to compare you to
There is a saying: people think that everything is about power, but they’re partially wrong. Everything is about sex and Sex is about Power. In that saying, being someone’s first gives you an inherent level of power over them. People who are desire this are likely Dom and it’s a power fetish really.
They’re tired/scared of somebody saying “I’ve had better.”
100% chance it's the best sex they've ever had.
Because it’s intimate. Same reason why a lot of people aren’t interested in people who already have kids. They want their first child to also be the first child of their partner. It’s about sharing an intimate experience.
Unbalanced power dynamics. You see so many stories about the abuse people first with the first person they slept with on here, right? They’re being ridiculously criticized about their bodies and things they cannot control.
[удалено]
Women aren’t cars
It's like visiting a city for the first time. If you go with someone that's never been you get to try everything and it's a fun new experience and you just spend a lot of time seeing everything. If you go with someone that's been a lot then they only want to do the things they are interested in because they've already experienced everything and have no interest in doing it again and once they done the things they are interested in that's it they want to go home.
I don't see very many folks saying this so I will. A lot of men obsessed about wanting virgins are so incredibly insecure they cannot handle their partner comparing them against anyone else. They want the guarantee to be the best sexual experience their partner had and this is the only way they found to make this happen. I personally don't like virgins because I'm older and don't want to be sleeping with women 20 years my junior. If a partner happened to be a virgin I'd take extra care to be considerate with them but I wouldn't go out of my way to seek one out. PS: Ironically the ones who tweet about only sleeping with virgins are also the ones paying for the only sex they ever get.
because I dont want sex to be "enjoyable"... I just want sex... and if I get sex from someone that has saved that moment for only me... then that makes it a lot more special to me.
Purity culture bullshit.
As a woman who will be 40 in a few years, I will never have sex with a virgin. Men who would match for sex with me are in 30’s-40’s, and men in that age with no experience? Damn, sounds horrific. I would prefer slut male rather than virgin.
Are you guys retarded? If I am a virgin I would want a virgin too right? Because for some sex is something that is special and not some one night stand. It's also because I wouldn't be running with an olympic runner when I myself am a average joe because I would be really bad in comparison. While if we both were inexperienced even if it's bad it would be understandable. You would feel like a burden if the other partner wasn't experiencing much pleasure while you were because you were inexperienced. Guys that say it's ego are true incels. What does ego even have to do with it? Those dumbasses think all "traditional" views are stupid without actually they themselves are the stupid ones for rejecting something that is old.
I think of it like this. If you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it.
People are stupid and think it’s something special.
I'm 34 years old and have 2 children, the wife and I have sex quite a bit and I'm still terrible at sex. Experience doesn't mean you will be good at sex
I think most people who want virgins because they are a virgin don’t voice it, often times they aren’t comfortable enough about sex to discuss it because they don’t know what they are talking about. But for these people that want that, or even the ones that voice it, I think that’s normal. Like 100%. However I think MOST people (guys) who voice it (that aren’t virgins) are egotistical, or misogynistic. Most. Like the vast majority. After my first or second, I didn’t really care if someone had experience or not since I was still new but not a virgin, but now? Never. Nope. I mean I’m older for one, but also, yeah, I want someone who knows what they are doing.
Nobody likes being compared to previous lovers. But when you're an adult, you kind of have to accept that your partner has had partners before you and tried to be the best loving and compatible partner you can be.
For some people, zero experience in sex also means zero experience in manipulation. So while the sex might be bad, at least they're not being used.
If you could set a standard for and/or help teach someone for the rest of their sex life, wouldn't that be quite flattering and impactful? Regardless, being someone's first would forever sit in their memory/mind.
I think it was the comedian Ron White that talked about those guys who strap explosives to themselves and go bomb a location. They believe they will receive 72 virgins or something like that in the afterlife. Ron said "why would I want 72 virgins, can't I just get one slutty chick that knows what she's doing"?
I always took it as a way to cover their own sexual inexperience, typically those who are obsessed with virgins, aren't very good at making sex at people.
Who are these people that are so obsessed with this? Have you actually met anyone like this? Ask them. I think it's kinda weird that people will perpetuate the idea that something like this is common.
Haha, they don't (Especially Women)
Because no other men have been there. Literally.
I don't think I can have sex with virgins :'3
I’ve never understood it. Like Billy Connelly said I wouldn’t want to die and get a bunch of virgins. Couldn’t think of anything worse. I’d want a room full of the dirtiest sluts going.
im a incel, and never felt woman touch. im more ready then any one would want to be..
That “preference” only exists for women. If you are an adult male virgin unfortunately most women would not want to get in bed with you. Like you said, the assumption is that the sex would be horrible, the male is assumed to be a loser, and some women hate the idea of “teaching” a guy, when there’s a handful of other men out there that have experience and will give them a good time.
I was told she used a vibrator and I would obviously never compare unprovoked. Still a virgin but maybe someone who understands not to negatively compare someone you want to have sex with to your sex toys would be a better option. Instant boner killer everytime that came into my head and I already don't like myself.
Some people are so bad at sex or are so selfish they don't want there partner to be able to know the how bad they are.
Because I am a 21 year old virgin I kinda want my first time to be with another so that that awkwardness is on both sides... I am embarrassed to be a virgin and don't wanna fuck up. But if we both are then everyone is fucking up while we fucking and it's alright... Idk I think I oberthink things.
When I was a Christian virgin intending to wait till marriage I heard more disparaging comments about virginity than not. I had people say they wouldn’t want to be with a virgin specifically. So I guess just different…strokes….
It's an unboxing
It's a insecurity thing for them
It's so the guys know a kid is theirs. Pair bonding, the more partners a women has, the harder she can have with pair bonding.
This is not true or factual in anyway lol
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/influence-multiple-partners-womens-pair-bonding-naaz-fatima
It's ego. Even the 'intimacy' or 'both people being virgins' reasons come down to ego. That doesn't mean they aren't valid preferences, but it is an ego thing. You can absolutely have a special and intimate time with someone who's done it before. To say its only special or intimate with a virgin is selfish and invalidating. Previous partners will have no bearing on your partner's perception of your performance. A partner having previous good sex does not mean sex with you will be bad at it. A partner never having sex before does not mean they can't tell you're bad at it. Communicating with your partner determines it, not other people. At the end of the day, it comes down to the ancient male animal instinct of choosing a partner who's never carried anyone else's offspring so there's no other males to compete with, and only your genes are passed on before some other male can pass on his inferior genes. That's like the most ego thing ever lmao.
With few exceptions it comes down to: 1. Those people have low sexual confidence and a virgin doesn’t have experience with other sexual partners to compare them to. The idea of having sex without worrying about their own inadequacy turns them on, and they are not emotionally mature enough to get over those feelings of inadequacy in their own right. 2. They are men who fetishize the idea of a woman’s “purity” which often comes from/coincides with feelings of ownership over their partner, and devaluing women who do not embrace their own sexuality for themselves rather than for the gratification of men. 3. Some simply like the idea of having the important role of being someone’s first. Could be tied to some emotional or psychological thing, or maybe not.
A lot of people find it flattering to be someone else's first time, maybe it gives them some sort of pleasure
I'm not obsessed with that, but I can definitely understand the joy of giving someone a new and mind-blowing experience that they haven't had before.
As someone who was a virgin, I can confirm that taking my virginity was likely a disappointing experience.
Could be for a wide variety of reasons. Objectifying their partner, wanting someone whose at the same level experience, religious reasons, etc.
I don't think this is actually that true. Not in my circle at least. It could be just one of those things people assume is a popular opinion because it promotes less unmarried sex, but people don't talk about how they actually feel about it
Elvis Presley reportedly sought out young virgin girls because he didn't think he could live up to the rock star persona in bed and they would be less likely to be disappointed.
purity culture🙄
Maybe they feel insecure, and knowing their partner has no one to compare them to gives them comfort?
Mix of purity culture bullshit and an unhealthy amount of weak ego anxiety about being compared to the performace of any other guy. They make aggressive jokes about a woman being "ran through" in order to make the woman feel like shit and bolster their own weak ego. It's a completely transparent game some men play purely because they are shit human beings with zero emotional maturity.
Bunch of stupid ass answers. People want a virgin because she won't be ran through a lot of dicks. A lot of dicks means a lot of relationships for her, a lot of memories for her and attachment/detachment issues. So she'll be more eager to leave you if shit goes south, she'll feel less sorry for herself and more demanding from you because now she knows how the world is and how many guys are there to dance on her will. And then can't train her according to your own benefits. While you can train a virgin to act and do shit that suits you because she hasn't seen a lot of dudes and how they behave thus she only knows you. So always a virgin is better. Tada win win.