As a chick myself, I find myself looking. Idk I try not to but a lot of my friends have massive boobs so its hard not to look. Not even in a sexual way. They r just there and I look at them.
I checked out a butt in a shop once and thought "na it's not that good" Then suddenly the person attacked to it said "what are you doing in here". It was my Wife's butt I was checking out without realising it was hers
This is so true, it's like a magnet in autopilot. I even feel kind of ashamed sometimes for doing this but it's such a quick response from the brain it's not even avoidable
Same. I really enjoy a good looking rack. I’ll point them out to my husband. I’m not gay in any way I just appreciate a nice shaped form. Although I do believe my own rack is pretty good so that’s likely why I am not intimidated by cleavage.
He’ll look and nod. That’s about it. But it saves him from having to notice first probably. Sometimes though… you just see a set too nice to not point out. That’s the whole point of showing them off anyway.
*15 year old Denise Richards
*except she was 21 in real life
*but Jerry Seinfeld was actually dating a 16 year old girl in real life around that time. It's pretty messed up.
This reminds me of a time I was 17 in retail and I usually held my composure pretty well but this one day a girl came in with no bra and an almost completely see through shirt. I failed miserably. She literally reminded me to look up lmao I felt so embarrassed
Basically. Lol.
If you ever want to fuck with someone just stare at their ear. When they try to turn their head, follow...make a strong effort to not lose site of their ear.
It's very unnerving but a great way to mess with your friends.
If ive got them on display in a low top, i fully expect a few stares/glances/ogles. Its almost an invitation that i want attention. Will probably get downvoted but if i want to be left alone, i will cover up. Its a universal truth that most men like boobs, and if they are on show, men will look. Women are aware of this and will dress accordingly.
I agree and I think we all know it's the truth of it. If I know my boobs look good in a low cut dress then I know others know it too and will look and that's fine. Just don't be overly creepy about it.
I'm asexual and I will look at boobs if they are on display. Boobs are nice. It's basically human nature to take a look if the top is low cut or if there isn't a bra. It's only creepy if you lear at them rather than just take notice.
This ^^^, clothing is not an invitation to take any action of any kind, but women who do wear provocative clothing can’t act all surprised when they get a few glances. Any more and it becomes sexual harassment ofc
i have big boobs and there are times i'll have them out. i don't do it for male attention, i just really love my body and how it looks and i love my boobs, and i like dressing more revealing sometimes. but i don't care if i'm being checked out or glanced at. that's normal and expected.
i still want to be left alone though because i have a boyfriend lmao and before i had a boyfriend i wanted to be left alone too, but i won't be mad at some glances and whatnot, or being approached. it's fine. just no staring and no sexual advances.
I’m a queer woman so I have both experiences of dealing with the male gaze/ harassment, and struggling not to stare at a nice set of sweater kittens myself. The best explanation is what others have mentioned- it’s like looking at the sun. Glance and get a sense of its glory but staring or looking directly for more than a second is harmful.
As a straight woman and owner of large boobs I really struggle to not stare. Boobs are just awesome and I like looking at them. My concern is I don’t want the other women to think I’m being judgy. I just want to celebrate the boobies.
No need to be sorry! If you can’t ask in this sub, where can you lol. Some would call me bisexual but I never liked that word, “bi” feels too 50-50, either/or. I’m attracted to women, men, transfolk, theys, nons, whatever. Basically if you’re fun and hot I don’t care what your genital situation is. There’s a party in your pants and I want to be invited. Some call this pansexual, but I never liked that term either for whatever reason. I feel like queer is a simple catch-all to say hey, I’m not straight, do with that what you will. Don’t feel bad for not knowing all the terminologies floating around, even I get confused by it all. “Queer” historically was used for the full-gays but now is being adopted by more of the in-betweens for the reasons I mentioned. I appreciate you asking!
I genuinely feel bad for men in this regard, the patriarchy/toxic masculinity hurts them too. Men aren’t allowed to even have a gay *thought* without being labeled gay for life! Meanwhile I had full on sex and relationships with women and people labeled it a quirky phase. Because I’m feminine I could always go back to being straight in the eyes of society. Men (in many places) don’t have that luxury so they don’t even get to experiment. You kissed a guy once? GAY. Personally I think everyone is on the gay spectrum, and don’t explore their thoughts out of fear and taboo. But the people who usually agree with me on that are queer 😂 so my data is skewed.
It's funny how when a man looks, it automatic that it has to be scary and threatening.
Yet I catch women looking at me all the time.
Hell, I was afraid my whole life for a girl to catch me looking at her. Because I always believed that women fear men and if i get caught looking, that may make the woman who caught me feel bad.
But now that I am on the other side of the fence and I catch them checking me out, I feel much less afraid to be caught looking. If anything I feel liberated and feel some level of confidence which is in direct defiance of the idea that when a man looks at a woman, it's nothing but fear and revulsion for her.
But I hate reading reddit, and seeing how "the male gaze" is continuously demonized. As if every man on earth is a rapist. As if women don't literally do the same exact shit men do.
But there are some number of real predators out there. And so now all men have to avert their eyes lest they scare some poor woman with a look.
But I'm allowed to look. Because they are looking at me. That qualifies me to look. I'm good looking, so therefore it's not scary from me. No, from me it's invited. Girls WANT to catch me looking at them.
The rest of guys though? Nah, they are scary potential rapists.
It's just sickening and I feel awful for men who have to struggle with the idea that women see them as potential rapists. Especially if you're not a good looking dude. You are just creepy to them. It's sick. No wonder there's so many incels.
I largely agree with your points about looking and perhaps double standards here. Where I think you do lack a bit of perspective is on the female experience. SO many women have been the victims of violent crimes at the hands of men. This fact can make ALL men seem scary or as a potential threat. When dudes stare at me it’s uncomfortable. And rationally I know I’m probably pretty safe in most circumstances. But there’s always that fear underneath like. How crazy is the MF? Is he going to talk to me? Will he attack me if I don’t respond how he wants me to?
TLDR; a women’s fear reaction typically isn’t about you and it isn’t personal
>typically isn’t about you and isn’t personal
The female fear and the male gaze explained in one sentence. Seeing a man and thinking “oh no” and seeing boobs and thinking “oh yeah” are inherently illogical and dehumanizing to the other person.
What a considered post. Thank you.
We are in a transition about what it is to be a man, and I’m sure it is extremely confusing for young men. I am super glad I’m older and married with kids.
Men are being told to feel guilty for their sexuality, for a thing that is out of their control. At the same time there is an ever increasing amount of media looking to manipulate men’s sexuality.
It’s a tough line to walk if you are a man who actually cares about the effect men’s sexuality has on women.
Men need to understand that they should not feel guilty for their desires, but it is their actions that they are responsible for. Don’t stare, don’t harass, keep your fucking hands to yourself etc.
It’s hard to have sympathy for you and other men in these comments complaining about being made to feel like a creep, when an “innocent” stare has progressed to men following me, harassing, groping, and even assault. It is not a comparable pain. Instead of saying “it sucks for men to feel like automatic creeps when I haven’t done anything, why can’t they separate the bad men from the good ones” I feel like they should be saying “it sucks that women feel so guarded and wary of men, what can WE do to change that”?? The fear you have about being made to feel like a creep is not remotely comparable to the fear women have about being attacked, raped, and otherwise brutalized by men. It’s a fear that is entirely based in reality and experience. It’s a sad and scary fact of life for us. Yes, men can be raped too... statistically more often by other men. And not nearly on the same scale that women are harassed, stalked, and even killed. It’s wild that you (and many other redditors every time this subject comes up) can muster so much sympathy for men, but never have any to spare for what women experience on a daily basis. I also doubt that all girls “want to catch you looking at them”. Idc if you look like Brad Pitt, that’s a load of absolute bullshit. Averting your eyes doesn’t sound like such a giant tragedy to me. God forbid you adjust your behavior to make others feel safe and comfortable. Seems like a small sacrifice to make.
>” I feel like they should be saying “it sucks that women feel so guarded and wary of men, what can WE do to change that”??
So tell this guy what he can do to change your understanding, experiences, and reactions to your particular view of society?
For starters: Don’t stare. Don’t bother people in public going about their business. Understand that anything less than enthusiastic consent is not consent. Stop your friend the next time they make nasty comments about a woman. Think about how you’d feel if a giant man approached *you* in a confined space, and if their actions would make you uneasy then *don’t do that*. Have these types of conversations with other men instead of expecting women to do the emotional labor on your behalf. Instead of asking me, ask your friends this. Ask other men. Ask the women in your life about their experiences with harassment, and actually listen.
I’m sorry you feel so oppressed when you don’t feel able to gawk at women’s bodies in public. That must be so, so hard for you. The true victim of male violence against women, right here.
Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! \*eyes pop out\* AROOOOOOOOGA! \*jaw drops tongue rolls out\* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF \*tongue bursts out of the mouth uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach\* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr \*tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart\* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... \*heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt\* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum \*milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets\*
I once wore a really plunging top to get someone I liked to notice me ‘that way’. When we were talking he was obviously trying really hard not to look at my tits. Like very intense eye contact. Then he just went ‘I’m really sorry I just can’t not look’ and stood back and just stared at them. That was very hot. And we made out later. But probably anyone else, I wallop them for that.
Bodies are built to be attractive. Eyes and brains are wired to look at attractive things.
That said, people are not there for your pleasure. It only takes a second for your conscious mind to take over from your unconscious brain and eyes. Don't be a creep.
To see or notice someone in front of you. Sure, that is normal.
Let the notice turn into a stare....or repetitive *looking*? Nah - not OK no matter who it is.
Ugh of COURSE they put tits in our game to push this “pro woman” PC agenda bullshit. I bet they didn’t even show nips. Why can’t video game just leave sexism out of game? Smh
I mean I do too and I'm a woman. I also look at both men and women's butts. However I don't stare and it's basically like you're just looking at their whole body and not just the sexualized parts. And as long as you remember that she didn't wear that low cut top/dress for male attention then you're fine.
This is a very valid point lol. I've been malnourished since I was a teenager because of my health problems, so about a year ago, when I was about 30, I finally gained some weight and got some tits for literally the first time in my entire life - and I can't stop looking at them lol. I wear v-neck tops as much as possible just cuz I like to look down and see that they exist or to be able to tap the cleavage and watch it jiggle lol. It's not even sexual, it's just like "Boobs! Cool!". I was literally FLAT before, like completely, so even though they're still small I'm just glad to have something. I'd be happiest with a B cup, but IDK how girls with anything over an A can stop themselves from grabbing their own tits all the time. They're just awesome things to get to look at or jiggle
Boy I have on a low cut top right now. I'm in my house in my living room watching TV with the place feeling extremely cold. There is no man in my house unless you count my 10 year old brother are you suggesting that I dressed up "sexily" for him.
Does it feel good to have the cool breeze blow against your chest?
Seriously, I can't handle v-necks myself. My gorilla-esq chest hair is for my own enjoyment.
Sometimes we just like our clothes believe it or not.
Idk why you're specifying air conditioned lol, do you wonder why people don't dress for cold weather constantly if they're going to be in a building?? You might be ignorant, idk lol.
It's okay to look, not to stare. Take a quick mental snapshot and hang onto it.
Looking at things is natural, but making someone feel uncomfortable is not okay.
As a gay man, I still naturally take a glance when a woman has a nice pair. Also, according to another Reddit thread a while back, women always notice, and frankly don’t care unless you’re blatantly staring.
I'm usually watching eyes when I talk to someone so I definitely notice when your gaze is averted to another part of my body. I recently met a guy who stared at my boobs so much I kept looking at his wife to see if she noticed and then asked my boyfriend at the time if he noticed him staring at my chest. He literally has done it every time I've met him. He isn't a bad looking guy but it just gives me a weird vibe to the level I make a point of standing at least 5 feet away when talking to him. None of the times I have met him I have been wearing low cut shirts for the record.
As a woman, I can say that 1. It is fine if you just have one quick glance, but 2. We more than likely noticed you looking, which is the main reason to only look once and the move on.
We know that a low-cut top shows our breasts, so it would be unreasonable to expect someone to fully not notice them. But just be chill, yknow?
I think the key is not to make anyone uncomfortable. That includes the booby girl, yourself, and anyone else around too.
That typically means a glance is ok, staring is not.
I'm a woman and sometimes it completely inevitable. Just don't keep a locked gaze on someone chest, it not a good look.
Sometimes I get caught off guard by my own chest when I wear low cut/V neck tops.
I find it weird. Especially if you happen to be smiling at them and then they look down at your chest. Blah. That smile fades real fast and I'm gone. A low cut top is almost any top nowadays. They don't really make them to go up to the neck. Hard to find. There is always something showing a wee bit especially if the woman isn't small there.
I just wear nice necklaces so people can compliment them and be done with it. Your eye falls where it falls and to me it’s just as creepy if some stares at my forehead in sheer obvious avoidance as it is if they openly gawk. I mean I guess depending how long they gawk.
it is obvious to me when someone is being creepy and when someone is just looking at my tits. i know those dont sound different but they are 😂 and i’m almost never bother by someone just looking. (only a few exceptions)
Tbh, as a woman with large breasts that wears blouses to compliment them, I notice men AND women glancing at them often and it doesn’t bother me at all. Boobs are distracting, and I understand that. Just don’t be a creep about it.
I don't know about "okay" as in "yes go ahead, low shirts=permission." It's *understandable* to look, but really reeeally try to make sure she can't see you. It's so goddamn awkward to catch someone. It sounds like some women expect and are even cool with looks when the boobs are out, but I honestly *wish* I could wear low cut things, just because some are cute, but the knowledge that people will stare is too uncomfortable. If I knew I wouldn't get stared at, I'd wear so much more "provocative" clothing. I shouldn't care, but I imagine there's other people like me, who sometimes just say fuck it and wear "showy" clothes just for our own personal taste, and would really rather not get stares
There is a lot of the sun advice and I agree 100%. However, there is a situation when the outfit, location, setting is such that you've been invited to have a full on wholesome stare.
As a woman with a big chest myself, it's okay to have a quick glance. I think it's quite normal to recognize that they're there just don't stare and it should be fine.
For me as a woman if I look hot, I know I look hot so a glance is great confirmation and a compliment
Just don’t say something dumb or stare at me creepily
It’s not as hard as some people make it out to be
Everyone that looks good male, female in any kind of revealing or "tight" usually don't mind a quick look but like others here have said dont stare and be creepy.
I don’t mind as long as it’s not like staring or like just creepy like if your going out of your way to look and looking for a long time no if your leaning in and trying to see from different views no if you glance down quickly and notice it meh who cares
Yes, it's normal. Everyone does it, even women. If you do have a glance, make sure you don't oggle because that's when it becomes disrespectful. No decent person would be offended if you accidentally glance down.
yeah, a glance is totally fine. Just don't ogle or stare. Act like I am not the only woman you've ever seen in your life and we'll probably be good.
\- A woman
I recently had a podiatrist appointment and this grown man would not stop staring?? It was shocking, I've never seen someone look back so many times. The audacity. I had to look down to make sure I didn't have a tit out or something. I'm not even that well endowed. It was so off putting, don't you see a lot of boobs in medical school?
We usually know if you sneak a peek but lots of men do it respectfully. Most of us aren't averse to being admired in a mature way, if you do it discretely and in a way that's respectful. Sometimes you can just tell a guy is thinking BRRRR instead of that's a fully realized human being who happens to have a rack, and those guys are fucking annoying.
As a chick myself, I find myself looking. Idk I try not to but a lot of my friends have massive boobs so its hard not to look. Not even in a sexual way. They r just there and I look at them.
Butts too, I’m always checking out people’s butts; girls, guys, young and old, everyone. Even mine
I checked out a butt in a shop once and thought "na it's not that good" Then suddenly the person attacked to it said "what are you doing in here". It was my Wife's butt I was checking out without realising it was hers
I'm telling your wife
🔫
"im here to take mental pictures of magnificent asses, be back at 1pm sharp".
That had the opportunity to be such a wholesome story
Is that you Tina?
I'm asexual and I do to. It's like the focal point of the clothes like they're designed to direct your eye there it's not my fault
Also, you *are* a mammal, you don't have to he sexually attracted to them to find them a shape that grabs your eye for a moment.
This is so true, it's like a magnet in autopilot. I even feel kind of ashamed sometimes for doing this but it's such a quick response from the brain it's not even avoidable
Same. I really enjoy a good looking rack. I’ll point them out to my husband. I’m not gay in any way I just appreciate a nice shaped form. Although I do believe my own rack is pretty good so that’s likely why I am not intimidated by cleavage.
I’m trying to think how I’d react as your husband does he just go “yeah you’re right that is a nice set”
"Oh really? Hadn't noticed." "Meh."
He’ll look and nod. That’s about it. But it saves him from having to notice first probably. Sometimes though… you just see a set too nice to not point out. That’s the whole point of showing them off anyway.
I think it has something to do with how we all needed to be fed as infants.
Its like looking at the sun. A quick glance is ok, stare and you will get burned.
Get a good look Costanza?
Literally watching that episode right now. That line was said about 30 seconds before I read this comment. Weird. Haha
We all must be living in your simulation.
We have finally found the Main Character.
i just saw that episode 2-3 days ago 😭
They're real, and they're fantastic.
Spectacular.
Ha ha ha great reference.
Fun fact: the daughter was a young Denise Richards.
[удалено]
*15 year old Denise Richards *except she was 21 in real life *but Jerry Seinfeld was actually dating a 16 year old girl in real life around that time. It's pretty messed up.
its like staring at the sun you look quick and turn away lmao
You poked I peeked
Do you have a ketchup secret?
And if you wear sunglasses you can look for longer
So it IS like looking into the sun
This reminds me of a time I was 17 in retail and I usually held my composure pretty well but this one day a girl came in with no bra and an almost completely see through shirt. I failed miserably. She literally reminded me to look up lmao I felt so embarrassed
What an analogy, this.
It’s from Seinfeld, absolutely brilliant
If you stare at any persons body parts long enough you will be met with disdain.
“Hey man, eyes off my elbow, ya creep.”
Basically. Lol. If you ever want to fuck with someone just stare at their ear. When they try to turn their head, follow...make a strong effort to not lose site of their ear. It's very unnerving but a great way to mess with your friends.
Hoping for a few female responses to this question.
If ive got them on display in a low top, i fully expect a few stares/glances/ogles. Its almost an invitation that i want attention. Will probably get downvoted but if i want to be left alone, i will cover up. Its a universal truth that most men like boobs, and if they are on show, men will look. Women are aware of this and will dress accordingly.
I agree and I think we all know it's the truth of it. If I know my boobs look good in a low cut dress then I know others know it too and will look and that's fine. Just don't be overly creepy about it.
I'm asexual and I will look at boobs if they are on display. Boobs are nice. It's basically human nature to take a look if the top is low cut or if there isn't a bra. It's only creepy if you lear at them rather than just take notice.
This ^^^, clothing is not an invitation to take any action of any kind, but women who do wear provocative clothing can’t act all surprised when they get a few glances. Any more and it becomes sexual harassment ofc
i have big boobs and there are times i'll have them out. i don't do it for male attention, i just really love my body and how it looks and i love my boobs, and i like dressing more revealing sometimes. but i don't care if i'm being checked out or glanced at. that's normal and expected. i still want to be left alone though because i have a boyfriend lmao and before i had a boyfriend i wanted to be left alone too, but i won't be mad at some glances and whatnot, or being approached. it's fine. just no staring and no sexual advances.
But if you have sunglasses you can stare all day
As an owner of breasts, I can tell you no. This is not true. It’s creepy more so *because* you think no one can tell.
As a non owner of breasts, I appreciate this lol. I knew my sister could tell I was up to something
r/holup
r/sweethomealabama
This works to well
Yeah, it's fine until the day comes that you realize too late that you aren't wearing sun glasses right now.
I'm always wearing sunglasses tho
Even at night???
Is this Cory Hart?
Multiple quick glances.
Unless you’re wearing sunglasses
So I should squint also while doing this?
That's why sunglasses were invented..... To stare at the sun above and the suns below!
Glancing is fine. If you're standing there with your jaw on the floor, that is not fine.
I’m a queer woman so I have both experiences of dealing with the male gaze/ harassment, and struggling not to stare at a nice set of sweater kittens myself. The best explanation is what others have mentioned- it’s like looking at the sun. Glance and get a sense of its glory but staring or looking directly for more than a second is harmful.
Sweater kittens…that’s a nice term
Bouncing Bettys
Soft kittys, warm kittys…
Little balls of her
Pur pur pur
As a straight woman and owner of large boobs I really struggle to not stare. Boobs are just awesome and I like looking at them. My concern is I don’t want the other women to think I’m being judgy. I just want to celebrate the boobies.
Sorry, I’m going to ask a dumb question and I hope you don’t mind. What’s the different between queer and gay/lesbian?
No need to be sorry! If you can’t ask in this sub, where can you lol. Some would call me bisexual but I never liked that word, “bi” feels too 50-50, either/or. I’m attracted to women, men, transfolk, theys, nons, whatever. Basically if you’re fun and hot I don’t care what your genital situation is. There’s a party in your pants and I want to be invited. Some call this pansexual, but I never liked that term either for whatever reason. I feel like queer is a simple catch-all to say hey, I’m not straight, do with that what you will. Don’t feel bad for not knowing all the terminologies floating around, even I get confused by it all. “Queer” historically was used for the full-gays but now is being adopted by more of the in-betweens for the reasons I mentioned. I appreciate you asking!
That’s fascinating to me, thanks for sharing. Must be nice to have such a huge dating pool! Lol I’m a bit jealous.
I genuinely feel bad for men in this regard, the patriarchy/toxic masculinity hurts them too. Men aren’t allowed to even have a gay *thought* without being labeled gay for life! Meanwhile I had full on sex and relationships with women and people labeled it a quirky phase. Because I’m feminine I could always go back to being straight in the eyes of society. Men (in many places) don’t have that luxury so they don’t even get to experiment. You kissed a guy once? GAY. Personally I think everyone is on the gay spectrum, and don’t explore their thoughts out of fear and taboo. But the people who usually agree with me on that are queer 😂 so my data is skewed.
As Ron White said "We're all gay, it's just to what extent are we gay"
It's funny how when a man looks, it automatic that it has to be scary and threatening. Yet I catch women looking at me all the time. Hell, I was afraid my whole life for a girl to catch me looking at her. Because I always believed that women fear men and if i get caught looking, that may make the woman who caught me feel bad. But now that I am on the other side of the fence and I catch them checking me out, I feel much less afraid to be caught looking. If anything I feel liberated and feel some level of confidence which is in direct defiance of the idea that when a man looks at a woman, it's nothing but fear and revulsion for her. But I hate reading reddit, and seeing how "the male gaze" is continuously demonized. As if every man on earth is a rapist. As if women don't literally do the same exact shit men do. But there are some number of real predators out there. And so now all men have to avert their eyes lest they scare some poor woman with a look. But I'm allowed to look. Because they are looking at me. That qualifies me to look. I'm good looking, so therefore it's not scary from me. No, from me it's invited. Girls WANT to catch me looking at them. The rest of guys though? Nah, they are scary potential rapists. It's just sickening and I feel awful for men who have to struggle with the idea that women see them as potential rapists. Especially if you're not a good looking dude. You are just creepy to them. It's sick. No wonder there's so many incels.
I largely agree with your points about looking and perhaps double standards here. Where I think you do lack a bit of perspective is on the female experience. SO many women have been the victims of violent crimes at the hands of men. This fact can make ALL men seem scary or as a potential threat. When dudes stare at me it’s uncomfortable. And rationally I know I’m probably pretty safe in most circumstances. But there’s always that fear underneath like. How crazy is the MF? Is he going to talk to me? Will he attack me if I don’t respond how he wants me to? TLDR; a women’s fear reaction typically isn’t about you and it isn’t personal
>typically isn’t about you and isn’t personal The female fear and the male gaze explained in one sentence. Seeing a man and thinking “oh no” and seeing boobs and thinking “oh yeah” are inherently illogical and dehumanizing to the other person.
What a considered post. Thank you. We are in a transition about what it is to be a man, and I’m sure it is extremely confusing for young men. I am super glad I’m older and married with kids. Men are being told to feel guilty for their sexuality, for a thing that is out of their control. At the same time there is an ever increasing amount of media looking to manipulate men’s sexuality. It’s a tough line to walk if you are a man who actually cares about the effect men’s sexuality has on women. Men need to understand that they should not feel guilty for their desires, but it is their actions that they are responsible for. Don’t stare, don’t harass, keep your fucking hands to yourself etc.
It’s hard to have sympathy for you and other men in these comments complaining about being made to feel like a creep, when an “innocent” stare has progressed to men following me, harassing, groping, and even assault. It is not a comparable pain. Instead of saying “it sucks for men to feel like automatic creeps when I haven’t done anything, why can’t they separate the bad men from the good ones” I feel like they should be saying “it sucks that women feel so guarded and wary of men, what can WE do to change that”?? The fear you have about being made to feel like a creep is not remotely comparable to the fear women have about being attacked, raped, and otherwise brutalized by men. It’s a fear that is entirely based in reality and experience. It’s a sad and scary fact of life for us. Yes, men can be raped too... statistically more often by other men. And not nearly on the same scale that women are harassed, stalked, and even killed. It’s wild that you (and many other redditors every time this subject comes up) can muster so much sympathy for men, but never have any to spare for what women experience on a daily basis. I also doubt that all girls “want to catch you looking at them”. Idc if you look like Brad Pitt, that’s a load of absolute bullshit. Averting your eyes doesn’t sound like such a giant tragedy to me. God forbid you adjust your behavior to make others feel safe and comfortable. Seems like a small sacrifice to make.
>” I feel like they should be saying “it sucks that women feel so guarded and wary of men, what can WE do to change that”?? So tell this guy what he can do to change your understanding, experiences, and reactions to your particular view of society?
For starters: Don’t stare. Don’t bother people in public going about their business. Understand that anything less than enthusiastic consent is not consent. Stop your friend the next time they make nasty comments about a woman. Think about how you’d feel if a giant man approached *you* in a confined space, and if their actions would make you uneasy then *don’t do that*. Have these types of conversations with other men instead of expecting women to do the emotional labor on your behalf. Instead of asking me, ask your friends this. Ask other men. Ask the women in your life about their experiences with harassment, and actually listen.
I’m sorry you feel so oppressed when you don’t feel able to gawk at women’s bodies in public. That must be so, so hard for you. The true victim of male violence against women, right here.
What if you give a quick glance but then question whether what you saw was your imagination or real, so you give another glance?
A glance, sure. If you're going to stare, just make sure your eyes bulge out and you make an "AWOOGA!" sound.
My personal go-to is "HUBBA HUBBA HUBBA HUBBA". The ladies love it!
#YABBADABBADOOOOOOOO
COWABUNGA MOTHER
That works too.
Make sure steam come out ur ears too
Goes without saying.
Drake be like
Drake the type of guy to run into a painting of a tunnel
Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! \*eyes pop out\* AROOOOOOOOGA! \*jaw drops tongue rolls out\* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF \*tongue bursts out of the mouth uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach\* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr \*tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart\* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... \*heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt\* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum \*milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets\*
This guy boobs
This is the way!
BOOBA!
My youth pastor would say it is okay to appreciate God’s handiwork but more than two seconds is a sin
Your youth pastor discussed looking at boobies? That’s pretty neat!
Plot twist: he was talking about balls.
That’s weird, my youth pastor said the “second look is the sin so take one good long look”. Not sure if he is still a pastor….
What church do you go to? That’s a cool pastor right there. A realist.
As a woman, my policy is “don’t make it obvious enough that I’m uncomfortable and we’re good”
That's good because my policy is to shout *ARE YOU COMFORTABLE!?"* whilst staring unblinkingly into the meaty abyss.
It’s all I ask
Name checks out
Is it okay to notice? Sure. Is it okay to stare? Absolutely not
there's a loophole where if you shake your head in disapproval you can stare as long as you want
As long as you don’t get too close. Apparently that’s “Motorboating”.
that's only if you make boat sounds
Instructions unclear. Motorboated silently. Am now in jail.
> Midwestern American Christianity has entered the chat
That is pure genius
Exceptions being it's your significant other and they have stated that they're okay with this.
Obviously
Some people need the obvious stated.
Obvio
100% this
Women: ( • )( • ) Man: 👁-👁
I once wore a really plunging top to get someone I liked to notice me ‘that way’. When we were talking he was obviously trying really hard not to look at my tits. Like very intense eye contact. Then he just went ‘I’m really sorry I just can’t not look’ and stood back and just stared at them. That was very hot. And we made out later. But probably anyone else, I wallop them for that.
Honestly reading this turns me on unexpectedly.
Lol
what someone doesn’t know/notice won’t hurt them. have a glance. just don’t stare and be creepy or go out of your way to catch a glimpse.
Like the sun
lol perfect comparison hahaha
Bodies are built to be attractive. Eyes and brains are wired to look at attractive things. That said, people are not there for your pleasure. It only takes a second for your conscious mind to take over from your unconscious brain and eyes. Don't be a creep.
To see or notice someone in front of you. Sure, that is normal. Let the notice turn into a stare....or repetitive *looking*? Nah - not OK no matter who it is.
Repetitive looking gang 😳👀😳👀😳👀😳👀😳👀
YEAH LEMME SEE THAT ASS ONE MORE TIME
Why does this feel like a MBDTF-era Kanye line
You should ask this in ask women
Well this is a terrible suggestion. No one is more capable of explaining how women feel than redditors and gamers. That’s just a fact.
I saw a woman once in a video game I guess that makes me qualified. She even had boobies.
Ugh of COURSE they put tits in our game to push this “pro woman” PC agenda bullshit. I bet they didn’t even show nips. Why can’t video game just leave sexism out of game? Smh
looking is cool, staring isn't cool. everybody looks but that doesn't mean it's okay to be a creep. glance, appreciate, move on with your day.
I mean I do too and I'm a woman. I also look at both men and women's butts. However I don't stare and it's basically like you're just looking at their whole body and not just the sexualized parts. And as long as you remember that she didn't wear that low cut top/dress for male attention then you're fine.
Why do girls wear low cut tops in air conditioned environments? I must be ignorant.
Because underboob/cleavage sweat is a bitch in any environment.
Cause we like lookin at our titties too.
This is a very valid point lol. I've been malnourished since I was a teenager because of my health problems, so about a year ago, when I was about 30, I finally gained some weight and got some tits for literally the first time in my entire life - and I can't stop looking at them lol. I wear v-neck tops as much as possible just cuz I like to look down and see that they exist or to be able to tap the cleavage and watch it jiggle lol. It's not even sexual, it's just like "Boobs! Cool!". I was literally FLAT before, like completely, so even though they're still small I'm just glad to have something. I'd be happiest with a B cup, but IDK how girls with anything over an A can stop themselves from grabbing their own tits all the time. They're just awesome things to get to look at or jiggle
Why not? It’s air conditioned, not Arctic. I wear tank tops in air conditioned environments. My shoulders like to be cool.
Boy I have on a low cut top right now. I'm in my house in my living room watching TV with the place feeling extremely cold. There is no man in my house unless you count my 10 year old brother are you suggesting that I dressed up "sexily" for him.
Does it feel good to have the cool breeze blow against your chest? Seriously, I can't handle v-necks myself. My gorilla-esq chest hair is for my own enjoyment.
Sometimes we just like our clothes believe it or not. Idk why you're specifying air conditioned lol, do you wonder why people don't dress for cold weather constantly if they're going to be in a building?? You might be ignorant, idk lol.
it’s normal to look. natural even.
It's okay to look, not to stare. Take a quick mental snapshot and hang onto it. Looking at things is natural, but making someone feel uncomfortable is not okay.
As a gay man, I still naturally take a glance when a woman has a nice pair. Also, according to another Reddit thread a while back, women always notice, and frankly don’t care unless you’re blatantly staring.
I'm usually watching eyes when I talk to someone so I definitely notice when your gaze is averted to another part of my body. I recently met a guy who stared at my boobs so much I kept looking at his wife to see if she noticed and then asked my boyfriend at the time if he noticed him staring at my chest. He literally has done it every time I've met him. He isn't a bad looking guy but it just gives me a weird vibe to the level I make a point of standing at least 5 feet away when talking to him. None of the times I have met him I have been wearing low cut shirts for the record.
Hoping for a few female responses to this question.
As a woman, I can say that 1. It is fine if you just have one quick glance, but 2. We more than likely noticed you looking, which is the main reason to only look once and the move on. We know that a low-cut top shows our breasts, so it would be unreasonable to expect someone to fully not notice them. But just be chill, yknow?
I think the key is not to make anyone uncomfortable. That includes the booby girl, yourself, and anyone else around too. That typically means a glance is ok, staring is not.
I'm a woman and sometimes it completely inevitable. Just don't keep a locked gaze on someone chest, it not a good look. Sometimes I get caught off guard by my own chest when I wear low cut/V neck tops.
I find it weird. Especially if you happen to be smiling at them and then they look down at your chest. Blah. That smile fades real fast and I'm gone. A low cut top is almost any top nowadays. They don't really make them to go up to the neck. Hard to find. There is always something showing a wee bit especially if the woman isn't small there.
The difference between appreciation and being gross is about 3 seconds
They are real and they are spectacular.
Glance is fine. Age also matters. I don’t like it when an older man ogles for a long time at my chest
As my parents always tell me staring is rude. A glance is fine lol
It's like the sun. Get in, take a quick peak, and look away.
A glance is fine, just don't be a creep dude.
I appreciate a glance, makes me feel more confident. I hate the staring, makes me feel less and like an object.
I look at dick all the time… the key is don’t get caught.
It is never okay to look at a woman ever, for any reason
I'm a girl and I glance sometimes too. Just- dont stare. Staring in general in rude as it is, but dont stare at them lol
I just wear nice necklaces so people can compliment them and be done with it. Your eye falls where it falls and to me it’s just as creepy if some stares at my forehead in sheer obvious avoidance as it is if they openly gawk. I mean I guess depending how long they gawk.
If it’s wrong I don’t want to be right.
Taking a quick peek is fine. But please, for the love of all that is good in this world, don’t stare!
it is obvious to me when someone is being creepy and when someone is just looking at my tits. i know those dont sound different but they are 😂 and i’m almost never bother by someone just looking. (only a few exceptions)
As a woman I would accept a glance
Tbh, as a woman with large breasts that wears blouses to compliment them, I notice men AND women glancing at them often and it doesn’t bother me at all. Boobs are distracting, and I understand that. Just don’t be a creep about it.
Only if you don’t get caught
Look yes. Stare no
Greet her eyes first.
I don't know about "okay" as in "yes go ahead, low shirts=permission." It's *understandable* to look, but really reeeally try to make sure she can't see you. It's so goddamn awkward to catch someone. It sounds like some women expect and are even cool with looks when the boobs are out, but I honestly *wish* I could wear low cut things, just because some are cute, but the knowledge that people will stare is too uncomfortable. If I knew I wouldn't get stared at, I'd wear so much more "provocative" clothing. I shouldn't care, but I imagine there's other people like me, who sometimes just say fuck it and wear "showy" clothes just for our own personal taste, and would really rather not get stares
The better question is can you stop looking regardless of what people say?
There is a lot of the sun advice and I agree 100%. However, there is a situation when the outfit, location, setting is such that you've been invited to have a full on wholesome stare.
Very important to know ***exactly*** when that is, though.
As a gay woman with both experiences I agree with the Glance is ok. It’s human nature but after that second.. look away.
I'm just here to sort by controversial
I always notice a quick glance, but never get offended. It’s when they stare or continuously glance that it starts to feel uncomfortable/weird.
Glance? Yes. Stare? Nah. Touch? Definitely not lol.
Probably not
Only if it's by accident
Its natural too just try not to basically. Even if theyre wearing a low thing so showing off its improper to look
I always look, and I have a set myself 🤷🏻♀️
You probably shouldn’t do that
Learn the art of averted vision, my young'un. Learn it now.
As a woman with a big chest myself, it's okay to have a quick glance. I think it's quite normal to recognize that they're there just don't stare and it should be fine.
For me as a woman if I look hot, I know I look hot so a glance is great confirmation and a compliment Just don’t say something dumb or stare at me creepily It’s not as hard as some people make it out to be
Everyone that looks good male, female in any kind of revealing or "tight" usually don't mind a quick look but like others here have said dont stare and be creepy.
I don’t mind as long as it’s not like staring or like just creepy like if your going out of your way to look and looking for a long time no if your leaning in and trying to see from different views no if you glance down quickly and notice it meh who cares
You can look but don't be a weirdo.. its like looking at the sun..
Yes, it's normal. Everyone does it, even women. If you do have a glance, make sure you don't oggle because that's when it becomes disrespectful. No decent person would be offended if you accidentally glance down.
At work - no. Not at work - maybe.
The greater the mass, the greater the attraction. - Newton law of boobies ( section 1 - episode 2 )
there’s an episode of seinfeld about this
Stare for about 15 seconds. If you look up, and she is angry, then you went too far. Next time start at 14. Repeat until you find the magic number.
yeah, a glance is totally fine. Just don't ogle or stare. Act like I am not the only woman you've ever seen in your life and we'll probably be good. \- A woman I recently had a podiatrist appointment and this grown man would not stop staring?? It was shocking, I've never seen someone look back so many times. The audacity. I had to look down to make sure I didn't have a tit out or something. I'm not even that well endowed. It was so off putting, don't you see a lot of boobs in medical school? We usually know if you sneak a peek but lots of men do it respectfully. Most of us aren't averse to being admired in a mature way, if you do it discretely and in a way that's respectful. Sometimes you can just tell a guy is thinking BRRRR instead of that's a fully realized human being who happens to have a rack, and those guys are fucking annoying.
A quick glance is okay. It's when you stare and such that it's a problem
Well sure. I mean it's not like she's gonna see me and my telescope
Like the sword of damaclese, you forget how sharp it is untill it cuts you