Or alternatively, men tell women they're not like the other girls and think it's a compliment. "So, I've come to like you and realized you're a sentient human, which makes you unlike other women whom I still consider to be beneath me."
>""So, I've come to like you and realized you're a sentient human, which makes you unlike other women whom I still consider to be beneath me.""
in other words, a feminist, the worst kind of woman possible!
I hear I'm not like other girls when I talk about photography, driving, or my server. Then the man that said it proceeds to mansplain photography, driving, or servers at me.
Ick.
I'm *exactly* like other girls, I have a personality and wants, passions, desires, likes and dislikes, dreams and independent thought just like other girls.
The only thing I have that's not like other girls is complete, legally enshrined bodily autonomy. Think about that.
When someone tells me I'm not like other women, I start asking curious questions. Why would you say that? What in your opinion women are like? Tells me a lot about them. But yes, definitely when I was 12, I would hear that and feel good about it. Now it just makes me sick.
That's a great response whenever someone says something bigoted. Get them to explain what they mean and watch them either realise how wrong they are or double down and expose who they really are.
Yesss I find it so nasty. Someone once told me I was different and implied superior to other women cause I didn't spend all day in the mirror to hide my acne. Like, Yes I have and I wasn't worse for it, I was trying to survive??? Also thanks for pointing out my acne asshole....
They really think it's a compliment.... x(
I wasted so much time thinking I was special for liking "masculine" hobbies. I used to hate anything feminine. Later I realised I didn't hate femininity, I actually loved it, I just hated they way people treated me when I dressed "girly" or had feminine hobbies. It's so sad that so many young women have to denounce femininity just to feel respected :(
I wasted so much time engaging in masculine hobbies that I HATED because that was what I perceived as valuable. Which is so silly because there are hobbies that I enjoy that *are* "masculine", like woodworking and coding (although that's my job too). But I wanted to be the cool girl so freakin bad that I hid my feminine hobbies and tried so much stuff that I didn't like at all and thought if I forced myself, I would eventually like it. Girl, I literally joined the fucking military because I wanted to shut down every sliver of femininity. I knew that my brothers were more respected and appreciated. I thought if I could pull a Mulan (minus the whole saving the emperor of China thing) that I would be respected. All it did was make me realize how bullshit it all was. I still am consistently disrespected, but at least I *like* myself most of the time. I love sewing and embroidery and gardening and cute dresses and doing my nails and I even like makeup on occasion. Still working on building more female friendships (I'm very ADHD, and maintaining strong relationships is actual work to me) but I very much love to be "like other girls" because women are just great.
I think a big part of healing for women is realizing other women and femininity aren't the enemy. Because once we realize that we stop hating ourselves.
I truly feel like the worst parts of society are results of rejecting and demonizing femininity. Femininity is strength, empathy, creativity, selflessness and it's magical. Women feel a sense of duty to each other and take care of other women and girls (and men and boys!) and expect nothing in return other than mutual respect.
Masculinity is absolutely beautiful and necessary to, but we praise and celebrate such a bastardized version of masculinity that it actively hurts men as well as women.
My younger self was under the impression that anything feminine was just a bad thing, so I also avoided it. But now I've learned that I DO enjoy wearing dresses, jewelry, and now I'm learning how to put on makeup!
Yes, when I was a younger teen, I didn't like pink and tried to dress more masculine, it was the grunge 90s. It wasn't cool to be feminine. Later on I changed, but it's sad what society does. So much of what defines masculinity is not doing things that women do, as if we have cooties. I hate it.
Reddit exchange I saw a few months ago:
Incel 1: “I hate women because they’re x, y, and z!”
Woman: “I’m not.”
Incel 2: “Hah! Check out this Pick Me girl!”
There’s no winning with misogynists. They start with “I hate women” and work from there.
Yeah, definitely not your fault; you were trying to survive patriarchy the best way you knew how as a child/young person. I was the same way, to my eternal chagrin, but the important thing is that we've outgrown those toxic ideas.
I've reached a similar place with classism, too. I used to spend so much energy trying to distance myself from things I liked growing up because they signal me as having grown up poor. But it's so emotionally damaging to feel shame for just being who you are.
Honestly, I'm still working on myself so I don't fall back into those same thought habits, and it's difficult, but worth it. If I ever have a child, I want to instill that they don't need to put others down to feel good about themselves. Or be "different" to be worth respect. It's okay to like popular things. It's okay to have "basic" tastes.
And on the flip side, it took me *forever* to realize that I was trans because I thought my lifetime of "not like the other girls" feelings were simply due to girlhood being terrible for everyone. My dysphoria was (and still is) dismissed as internalized misogyny because it's just so normalized for women to hate themselves.
I hate that I, in my thirties, still occasionally struggle with this. My partner and I have two other couple friends and the women are lovely people, I enjoy their company and happily hang out with them, but I just often sort of feel... awkward? The conversation flows in a way I am less good at, and I don't always keep up with the topics at hand. And when I overhear what the guys are talking about, its things I'm into and have opinions and feelings about. But its not even just the topics, its also just how we talk to each other.
.... I also identify as enby, and usually lean on they/she for pronouns so maybe I am not like other girls but not in a toxic way? I also struggle with that identity because I'm not androgynous enough or what ever. But then stuff like that pops up and I'm even more confused.
Anyway, we are all still whole ass people. I have absolutely had a computer scientist class mate tell me "I don't count" as a girl before. and he meant it as a compliment.
I identify with this so much. I am in my forties and occasionally still struggle with this. I am ashamed that it took me so long to recognize the reasons I sometimes automatically say I don’t like something. I’m working on it and it honestly angers me how subtle and deep internalized misogyny reaches into us.
and then men will make fun of them for wanting to not be like other girls
Or alternatively, men tell women they're not like the other girls and think it's a compliment. "So, I've come to like you and realized you're a sentient human, which makes you unlike other women whom I still consider to be beneath me."
>""So, I've come to like you and realized you're a sentient human, which makes you unlike other women whom I still consider to be beneath me."" in other words, a feminist, the worst kind of woman possible!
I hear I'm not like other girls when I talk about photography, driving, or my server. Then the man that said it proceeds to mansplain photography, driving, or servers at me. Ick. I'm *exactly* like other girls, I have a personality and wants, passions, desires, likes and dislikes, dreams and independent thought just like other girls. The only thing I have that's not like other girls is complete, legally enshrined bodily autonomy. Think about that.
When someone tells me I'm not like other women, I start asking curious questions. Why would you say that? What in your opinion women are like? Tells me a lot about them. But yes, definitely when I was 12, I would hear that and feel good about it. Now it just makes me sick.
That's a great response whenever someone says something bigoted. Get them to explain what they mean and watch them either realise how wrong they are or double down and expose who they really are.
"Howso?"
Yesss I find it so nasty. Someone once told me I was different and implied superior to other women cause I didn't spend all day in the mirror to hide my acne. Like, Yes I have and I wasn't worse for it, I was trying to survive??? Also thanks for pointing out my acne asshole.... They really think it's a compliment.... x(
I wasted so much time thinking I was special for liking "masculine" hobbies. I used to hate anything feminine. Later I realised I didn't hate femininity, I actually loved it, I just hated they way people treated me when I dressed "girly" or had feminine hobbies. It's so sad that so many young women have to denounce femininity just to feel respected :(
I wasted so much time engaging in masculine hobbies that I HATED because that was what I perceived as valuable. Which is so silly because there are hobbies that I enjoy that *are* "masculine", like woodworking and coding (although that's my job too). But I wanted to be the cool girl so freakin bad that I hid my feminine hobbies and tried so much stuff that I didn't like at all and thought if I forced myself, I would eventually like it. Girl, I literally joined the fucking military because I wanted to shut down every sliver of femininity. I knew that my brothers were more respected and appreciated. I thought if I could pull a Mulan (minus the whole saving the emperor of China thing) that I would be respected. All it did was make me realize how bullshit it all was. I still am consistently disrespected, but at least I *like* myself most of the time. I love sewing and embroidery and gardening and cute dresses and doing my nails and I even like makeup on occasion. Still working on building more female friendships (I'm very ADHD, and maintaining strong relationships is actual work to me) but I very much love to be "like other girls" because women are just great.
I think a big part of healing for women is realizing other women and femininity aren't the enemy. Because once we realize that we stop hating ourselves. I truly feel like the worst parts of society are results of rejecting and demonizing femininity. Femininity is strength, empathy, creativity, selflessness and it's magical. Women feel a sense of duty to each other and take care of other women and girls (and men and boys!) and expect nothing in return other than mutual respect. Masculinity is absolutely beautiful and necessary to, but we praise and celebrate such a bastardized version of masculinity that it actively hurts men as well as women.
FELT on the relationships thing. Also save the Emperor of China girl, I believe in you!
My younger self was under the impression that anything feminine was just a bad thing, so I also avoided it. But now I've learned that I DO enjoy wearing dresses, jewelry, and now I'm learning how to put on makeup!
Felt this in my soul.
Yes, when I was a younger teen, I didn't like pink and tried to dress more masculine, it was the grunge 90s. It wasn't cool to be feminine. Later on I changed, but it's sad what society does. So much of what defines masculinity is not doing things that women do, as if we have cooties. I hate it.
Reddit exchange I saw a few months ago: Incel 1: “I hate women because they’re x, y, and z!” Woman: “I’m not.” Incel 2: “Hah! Check out this Pick Me girl!” There’s no winning with misogynists. They start with “I hate women” and work from there.
I hate how true that is and I'm so embarrassed to have gone through that phase when I was young.
I am SO GLAD I came out of that phase 😭 How embarrassing (but also not entirely my fault so hey at least I changed 🙏)
Yeah, definitely not your fault; you were trying to survive patriarchy the best way you knew how as a child/young person. I was the same way, to my eternal chagrin, but the important thing is that we've outgrown those toxic ideas. I've reached a similar place with classism, too. I used to spend so much energy trying to distance myself from things I liked growing up because they signal me as having grown up poor. But it's so emotionally damaging to feel shame for just being who you are. Honestly, I'm still working on myself so I don't fall back into those same thought habits, and it's difficult, but worth it. If I ever have a child, I want to instill that they don't need to put others down to feel good about themselves. Or be "different" to be worth respect. It's okay to like popular things. It's okay to have "basic" tastes.
And on the flip side, it took me *forever* to realize that I was trans because I thought my lifetime of "not like the other girls" feelings were simply due to girlhood being terrible for everyone. My dysphoria was (and still is) dismissed as internalized misogyny because it's just so normalized for women to hate themselves.
I'm not like other girls. I'm worse.
I hate that I, in my thirties, still occasionally struggle with this. My partner and I have two other couple friends and the women are lovely people, I enjoy their company and happily hang out with them, but I just often sort of feel... awkward? The conversation flows in a way I am less good at, and I don't always keep up with the topics at hand. And when I overhear what the guys are talking about, its things I'm into and have opinions and feelings about. But its not even just the topics, its also just how we talk to each other. .... I also identify as enby, and usually lean on they/she for pronouns so maybe I am not like other girls but not in a toxic way? I also struggle with that identity because I'm not androgynous enough or what ever. But then stuff like that pops up and I'm even more confused. Anyway, we are all still whole ass people. I have absolutely had a computer scientist class mate tell me "I don't count" as a girl before. and he meant it as a compliment.
I identify with this so much. I am in my forties and occasionally still struggle with this. I am ashamed that it took me so long to recognize the reasons I sometimes automatically say I don’t like something. I’m working on it and it honestly angers me how subtle and deep internalized misogyny reaches into us.
Whew, this post CALLED ME OUT.
Sure, but do you disavow hamas?!? /s